Posted tagged ‘William and Kate jokes’

What matters most.

December 8, 2014

The Browns may start Johnny Manziel at QB Sunday over Brian Hoyer against Cincinnati. Makes some sense. If Cleveland can’t make the playoffs, they’ll be at least more likely to make ESPN headlines.

 

 

William and Kate are on their first visit to New York City. Wonder if the Prince at some point has leaned over to his wife and whispered “Thank God this all isn’t our problem anymore.”

Damn. Apparently a security guard was shot and seriously wounded during an post-game argument between 49ers and Raiders fans outside a San Jose bar. Well, it’s a good thing for public safety neither team’s fans will have anything to argue about during the playoffs.

 

Well, all he did was basically show you can win a World Series with one starting pitcher.  Even if he didn’t get a hit himself.  Congrats Madison Bumgarner, Sports Illustrated’s Sportsman of the Year.

 

At time of posting, reportedly Jon Lester is deciding between offers from the Chicago Cubs and the SF Giants. Wonder if the Giants would do something dastardly, like sending Lester videos of games when the wind is blowing out at Wrigley Field?

 

34 years ago tonight was really the day “the music died”, as John Lennon was fatally shot in New York. Harder to believe for many of us, people who were born after Lennon’s murder, are old enough to have children who know the Beatles music. ‪#‎Timeswingedchariot‬

After Oakland’s upset 23-14 win over SF, Raiders LB Sio Moore took to Instagram to refer to Colin Kaepernick as a “Freakin chump.” Not a huge Kap fan, but maybe Moore should be a little more restrained with his trash talking, considering his team is still 2-11.

Not that I’m generally a soccer fan, but congratulations to the LA Galaxy on winning the MLS Cup. Guess having Robbie Rogers, who is openly gay, on the team, didn’t hurt the locker room too much.

 

A massive fire in a residential complex under construction basically shut down the 101 and 110 in Los Angeles  Monday morning. So for commuters on those freeways it was basically a Monday commute as usual.

Ralph Baer,,92, who invented the world’s first video game console, has died. In his honor, mourners at his funeral will spend the entire service playing on their smartphones.

Baylor coach Art Briles is complaining about no Big 12 team in the College Football Playoff. And five power conferences, four playoff teams was always going to be a problem. But just maybe the Bears might want to up their non-conference schedule from Buffalo, SMU and Northwestern State. (The NY Jets might be available.)

Implausible deniability?

May 6, 2011

 Pakistan is sticking to their story that they had no idea where Bin Laden was staying. When told that this defied logic, they pointed out that the current U.S. Secretary of State said she had no idea that her husband was straying.

And in a sports-related vein,  Pakistan’s claim  makes about as much sense as Bud Selig’s claim that he and MLB officials had no idea about the steroid problem.

Los Angeles Lakers’ forward Ron Artest has been suspended from game three against the Mavericks for a flagrant foul on Dallas guard J.J. Barea. Wow, at this point that could be half the Lakers’ season.

Apparently Prince William and Kate will be visiting California in July. No word on their itinerary but surely they will visit San Francisco? The “City by the Bay” certainly knows how to appreciate a good queen.

The Pac 12’s new $3 billion contract with ESPN and Fox will mean a lot more Thursday and Friday night football games, never a favorite of coaches because of what they do to preparation and recovery time. Meanwhile we wonder how some of these kids get the idea it’s all about the money?

Donald Trump has announced he will no longer be driving the celebrity pace car in the Indianapolis 500 this year. Guess he can’t stand even the appearance anymore of turning to the left.

(Augie says the Donald dropped out because someone told him he’d have to wear a helmet and muss up his hair.)

Artest actually just won the NBA’s “J. Walter Kennedy Citizenship” Award last Tuesday.  So does his suspension mean the award will have an asterisk?

Actually Artest really in general does seem to have turned his life around, and has mostly been a model player who’s made service to the community a priority. (He even raffled off his 2010 championship ring to raise money for mental health charities.) 

But seriously, the NBA’s best citizen?  A few years ago that seemed as likely as Kobe Bryant getting an award as the league’s best husband.

A top ranked Washington Capitals were swept out of the NHL playoffs by the Tampa Bay Lightning. The GOP are trying to figure out if there’s a way to blame this on Obama.

President Obama yesterday wished all Americans a happy Cinco de Mayo. And Sarah Palin responded “Idiot. Had Obama grown up in the U.S. he would know; mayo doesn’t sink.  It floats. Mustard sinks.

Apparently George W. Bush, despite his invitation from President Obama, declined to attend today’s Ground Zero ceremony because he was feeling left out and not getting much credit. Of course, part of the problem is that Cheney made him feel the same way.

The wedding and other post-mortems.

April 30, 2011

After the Royal Wedding, many men thought Friday morning  – “What a waste of time for a televised non-event… especially when the clips will be available on line…, why would any woman have bothered to watch live? Meanwhile, what time is ESPN’s coverage of day 2 of the NFL draft?”

As they played “God save the Queen/King” wonder if William whispered to Kate “Honey, they’re playing our song,”

But on the occasion of William’s wedding the Spencer family wanted to make it clear they have no hard feelings towards Prince Charles. In fact when he entered Westminister Abbey with Camilla, Diana’s brother reportedly asked  Elton John to play a song – “The bitch is back.”

So what would have happened if this man was the presidential or vice-presidential nominee ? Just before he was born, his father sent his mother to California to give birth because, as he explained, “My father had a complex about not having been born in the United States.” The boy was raised in Mexico City, and grew up to be… New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson. (source Wikipedia)

Not a good time for the Braves. First pitching coach Roger McDowell went on a homophobic rant to fans before a game in San Francisco, now pitcher Derek Lowe has been charged with drunken driving. Last time Atlanta had a week this bad, Sherman was involved.

Yellowstone park rangers issued three tickets to people walking ON Old Faithful geyser this week, after the tourists were caught on a webcam. (Old Faithful itself erupts with 204 degree water, and there is only a thin crust of earth covering boiling hot water in many places.) Wonder what percentage of the ticket revenue goes into a fund to cover the costs of Darwin awards.

Donald Trump insisted, again, that the problem with oil prices is that we don’t have a leader who will simply tell them “you are not going to raise the ‘bleeping’ price.” Strong words from someone who turned down an ownership opportunity because he didn’t even think he could fix the Mets.

MLB suspended White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen for two games because he argued balls and strikes and then complained about being ejected during the game. So I wonder, will his next tweet be a complaint about the fine?

Well,  as many would have predicted last December, the lowly Carolina Panthers got a Stanford star in the draft. It was, however, DT Sione Fua with the 97th pick.

And yes, it’s early in the season. But the Giants’ offense has been so hard to find in the last couple weeks that the teams’ batters may soon find their pictures on milk cartons.

The San Jose Sharks win 2-1 in overtime despite being out shot 46-25 by the Red Wings. If Paul the Octopus wasn’t dead, this just killed him.