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About that bridge…

March 26, 2015

Bus to hell time. Seeing that picture over and over again of Germanwings co-pilot Andreas Lubitz at the Golden Gate bridge. And thinking – why didn’t he just jump off of it?

 

 

V. Stiviano in court today said that Donald Sterling was her “soulmate.” I’m confused. For two people to be soulmates don’t they have to have souls?

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Just how wrong is Indiana’s new bill that allows business owners to discriminate on religious grounds? A similar bill was vetoed by that wacky liberal Gov. Jan Brewer in Arizona.

 

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George Takei is calling for a boycott of Indiana over the new “religious freedom” bill.  Of course, for such a bill to work, people would have to previously have had reason to go to Indiana.

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Vanderbilt and Stanford have announced a four game football series in 2021, 2024, 2025 and 2027. This should be interesting – multisyllabic trash talking.

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Alex Rodriguez will be subject to increased MLB drug testing after his one-year PED suspension. But to risk being caught for a THIRD time? Just how stupid does baseball think A-Rod is? Oops, never mind

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Starbucks has unveiled a limited edition Birthday Cake Frappuccino to celebrate the 20th anniversary of its drink. It will include a “delicious, creamy blend of Vanilla Bean and Hazelnut”, topped with raspberry whipped cream. Starbucks fans are deciding whether to try it, or to just stick with something healthier like a Big Mac.

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Top-10 NFL draft prospect Randy Gregory said that he has tested positive in February for marijuana: “I blame myself. And I know it sounds cliché, but there’s really no one else I can blame.”

Okay, clearly the young man, as talented as he is, isn’t NFL ready. Where’s the tainted supplement? Where’s the second-hand smoke? Where’s the “it must have been in brownies?”
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And while we’re at it?  Hard to imagine marijuana improving performance (how about that 7.0 40 yard dash?).  And given a choice as far as dangerous drugs, guessing a lot fewer people have been hurt by NFL players who were high on pot vs. those drinking alcohol.

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From T.C. “Nebraska defensive end Randy Gregory tested positive for marijuana at the NFL Combine. His agent said Gregory’s response was that he wanted to be a high draft choice.”
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Who but me wants to see Wisconsin keep winning just to see what sesquipedalian words Nigel Hayes will come up with in the postgame press conferences.  #MarchMadness.

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#‎Kentucky‬ 78, ‪#‎WestVirginia‬ 39. And it wasn’t that close. ‪#‎WVUvsUK‬

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Dear Gawd, Pat Robertson this morning on “The 700 Club” What a terrible tragedy. “Was that co-pilot a Muslim?” So congrats to all those who had “about an hour” in the pool.

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Your “Awww’ story for the day. Dean Smith, 83, who died last month, set up a trust in his will to send $200 to every one of his varsity players at UNC, with a note to “enjoy a dinner out.” Good thing it’s North Carolina, if Smith had coached at USC or a smaller school the NCAA would no doubt have put the current team on probation.

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Newt Gingrich said today at a healthcare conference said not only that he doesn’t think Obamacare should be repealed, but also that House members who claim they want to repeal it really don’t want to either. (Though he does think it should be tweaked.) Is Gingrich trying to be thrown out of the GOP for making too much sense?

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Wrong numbers?

March 25, 2015

New Boston Red Sox third baseman Pablo Sandoval told USA that he changed his cell number and doesn’t talk to old SF Giants teammates. He also added “If I had signed (with SF), I knew I would be under a (weight) regimen for five years, and I’m not going to be happy someplace where I’m under that kind of regimen, where I can’t be myself.”

Well at least Sandoval chose a new team with kind, gentle and understanding fans/media…. Hint to the Panda ‪#‎lessismore‬

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And you thought the worst export from Canada was Justin Bieber. ‪#‎TedCruzCampaignSlogans‬

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Now, most people agree tax law is too complicated. But along with everything else, Ted Cruz has joined Dr. Ben Carson in saying he will abolish the IRS. Sure, let’s put all Americans on the honor system. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

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Stanford men’s basketball team beats Vanderbilt and is heading to New York’s Madison Square Garden for the NIT final four. And hey, had they gotten to the NCAA tournament they’d either be done now or heading to maybe Cleveland, or Syracuse. With a Final Four in Indianapolis Hey, maybe these Stanford kids really ARE smart.

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How many careers would benefit from a five-second delay on speech like they have on “live” TV? Mike Bocchino, a Connecticut state rep, criticizing a proposed “yes means yes” sexual assault bill – “At the end of the day, there are no witnesses — at least if there are, it’s a really great party.”. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

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University of Michigan center, Jack Miller, 21, is retiring from football due to concussion fears – “I know it’s pretty unorthodox for a 21-year-old to see past his own nose This game requires such a passion to excel, and my flame is burned out.” And a number of other college players are thinking “Dude, what’s ‘unorthodox?'”

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When these companies put you on hold for 30 plus minutes and say periodically “Thank you for your time and patience” I am reminded of that little vulture statue they used to sell in gift shops “Patience my a**, I’m going to kill something.”

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A United Airlines employee was arrested and charged with stealing over $500 from a passenger’s wallet at a TSA checkpoint at Newark. United is appalled. If anyone is ripping off a passenger, it should be the airline themselves.

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United flights from SF to Dallas, $226 roundtrip. Adding aisle seats towards the front of the plane and one checked bag in each direction, $146 additional. We don’t need Ryan Air in the US, the legacy airlines are already there.

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New Orleans coach Sean Payton said there is “not one iota” of truth to rumors that the Saints are thinking of trading Drew Brees. Translation, they may be rebuilding, but they still want to sell tickets next year.

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The NFL has decided that the controversial formation that the New England Patriots used to score a TD against the Ravens in the AFC championship will be illegal next year. No worries, Belichick and company expect to have a whole new stable of ways not to be caught cheating next season.

 

 

Thunder 91, Spurs 130?! So does Oklahoma City call that “elder abuse”, or rather “abuse by elders?”

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Another of those rare serious thoughts.  “Turns out the reportedly suicidal man who allegedly shot and killed a San Jose, California, police officer last night, did fatally shoot himself later in the evening. Once again, such a damn shame that anyone bent on murder-suicide can’t take care of the latter first.”

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Immortality and other options.

March 25, 2015

Still so impressed by Mo’ne Davis’s gracious response to the baseball playing idiot who posted an offensive tweet about her. And my sense is we will be hearing about Mo’ne and what she accomplishes in her life for a long time. As opposed to what’s his name.

 

Remember “Jon and Kate Plus 8?” Now former reality star Jon Gosselin says he is considering running for the state legislature in Pennsylvania. Gosselin hasn’t said what party, which will no doubt set up a heated battle between Dems and the GOP. “You take him, no YOU take him.”

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GOP Rep. Peter King just referred to Ted Cruz as a “carnival barker.” Prompting calls for an apology. From carnival barkers.

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A Detroit TV reporter who asked Jim Harbaugh if he is worth the 7-year $38 million contract he signed. And the new Michigan coach responded “No.” You start seeing why Harbaugh is back at the college level. He’s too honest to be an NFL coach.

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Indiana Senator Dan Coats retired in 1998. Evan Bayh ran for and won his seat. Then Bayh retired in 2010 and Coats came back and won the seat again. Now Coats is retiring once more. All eyes are on Bayh. If Evan runs will he offer a job as a special consultant to Brett Favre?

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At Miller Park this year, the Milwaukee Brewers will sell “Deep Fried Nachos” – beef and beans, rolled in crushed Doritos, fried on a stick and topped with sour cream and cheese. Fans can presumably buy a package including Nacho sticks, a beer, and a turn at the defibrillator.

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You cannot make this “stuff” up.    Ted Cruz, who in announcing his candidacy for the Presidency said Monday that he would work to repeat Obamacare, said Tuesday that because his wife is leaving her Goldman Sachs job and losing her insurance that he will sign up for Obamacare.

(as my friend Ian reminds us “You do not like them. SO you say.  Try them! Try them!  And you may. Try them and you may I say.)

 

 

Wisconsin men’s basketball forward Sam Dekker on coach Bo Ryan’s game plan. “We try not to do dumb stuff.” So if the Badgers win it all this year, maybe Ryan could retire and run for Congress?

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Miss Universe Japan, who was apparently born and raised in Nagasaki, is being criticized by some as not Japanese enough because she is biracial. (Mom is Japanese, dad is African-American.) Out of habit, Donald Trump is demanding to see her birth certificate.

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The NFL has announced they are planning a “golden” celebration all year for the upcoming 50th Super Bowl. And of course to attend the game, SERIOUS gold will be required.

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Jason Collins testified today against a bill in Indiana that would allow business owners in the state to deny service to same-sex couples for religious reasons. So will the bill also allow hotel owners to demand to see marriage licenses for couples booking a room? Or proof of being a married couple of childbearing age for Viagra prescriptions? For starters?

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Sad news about Germanwings (4U) 9525. These airline crashes provoke such different reactions: Friends and families are devastated, the travel industry tries to reassure other travelers, and CNN and media are trying not to appear thankful for the ratings boost.

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Cruz missile

March 23, 2015

Ted Cruz kicked off his campaign with an “Imagine” theme speech, channeling John Lennon, asking students at Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University to “imagine a president repealing every word of Obamacare, imagine a president who finally secures the borders, imagine a president who stands unapologetically with the nation of Israel.’

Guess Cruz forgot about that second verse “Imagine there’s no countries.  It isn’t hard to do. Nothing to kill or die for. And no religion too….”  #cantfixstupid

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First Donald Trump, now Ted Cruz has joined the 2016 Republican Presidential race. Ironically, the year Ringling Brothers’ circus says they are getting rid of elephants, the elephant party is really getting into the circus business. ‪#‎clowncar‬

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Ted Cruz talks about “securing the borders.” You think it might have occurred to him to secure his own domain name. (www.tedcruz.com)

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When you’ve had your giggles checking out tedcruz.com, head on over to tedcruzforamerica.com (Hint to Ted, if you have aspirations of being a leader in the 21st century, might be a good thing to read up on the this internet thing.)

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Let the furry thing on his head fly: When asked about Ted Cruz, Donald Trump said Cruz’s birth certificate “is a hurdle; somebody could certainly look at it very seriously. He was born in Canada. If you know and when we all studied our history lessons, you are supposed to be born in this country, so I just don’t know how the courts will rule on this.”

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The NFL has announced that they will try a one-year suspension of the league blackout policy. Bad news for fans in Tampa. They now have no excuse not to watch the Bucs.

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Bloomsburg University dismissed Joey Casselberry from the baseball team for sending an offensive tweet about Mo’ne Davis, But today on Sportscenter,, Mo’ne said today that he should be reinstated. “Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone deserves a second chance…. I know right now he’s really hurt, and I know how hard he worked just to get to where he is right now.”

Okay, if there wasn’t anyone already rooting for her to make it big….

 

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New 49ers coach Jim Tomsula to NFL Network about Colin Kaepernick “Statistically and all that kind of stuff, people throw those out there — Colin had his best year, okay?” Hmm, is it time for the league to start checking coaches for concussions?

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Two weeks ago, the SF 49ers signed WR Jerome Simpson, who the Vikings released after multiple arrests. Now they are talking to LB Erin Henderson, who was also released by Minnesota after 2 arrests including a DUI. Well, the 49ers may not make the playoffs, but they could be early favorites for a remake of “The Longest Yard.”

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A judge decided that Robert Durst is a flight risk and denied him bail. This after the FBI found him registered under an assumed name in a New Orleans hotel, with a passport, birth certificate, fake Texas ID, stacks of $100 bills, a gun, bags of marijuana and a latex mask with fake hair… So what was the judge’s first clue?

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All this controversy over the 25th anniversary of “Pretty Woman,” and whether it is sexist, or PC, or whatever. Can we just say, it’s a fun movie, period?    And the greatest shopping scene EVER: “Big mistake. Huge.”

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Tonight the Golden State Warriors are celebrating the 40th anniversary of their only NBA championship team. 40 years!? Or as Cubs fans say, “Only yesterday.”

 

Patriots owner Robert Kraft said today “I know that there is no smoking gun” that could prove the Super Bowl champions guilty in of deflating footballs. Does that also mean “and if there was such a gun, it’s been buried with Jimmy Hoffa?”

 

 

From Marc Ragovin  “John McCain said that Obama should “get over” the Israeli election. Sure. Just as soon as he gets over the ’08 election.”

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What’s in a word?

March 22, 2015

So ‪#‎Wisconsin‬ survives to challenge the ‪#‎NCAA‬ stenographer for at least another day. ‪#‎MarchMadness‬ ‪#‎antidisestablishmentarianism‬

 

(And if you haven’t read aboutf the Badgers and the Stenographer, here’s the link. Might be the best non-Georgia State story of the tournament – http://espn.go.com/blog/collegebasketballnation/post/_/id/105479/nigel-hayes-and-his-wisconsin-teammates-are-fascinated-by-the-ncaa-stenographer)

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Stanford vs Rhode Island tonight in the NIT. Many Cardinal fans tuned in, if only for the memories and replays of a game that actually mattered. “And he was FOULED!”

 

 

Stanford holding up ‪#‎Pac12‬ honor in the “Not in Tournament.” So what’s better-worse? Another potential NIT banner? Or being knocked out in the first round of the NCAA’s.

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Ted Cruz apparently will announce his candidacy for the Presidency Monday, skipping the usual step of an “exploratory committee.” Well, makes sense. “Exploratory” sounds too much like science.

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Jerry Brown said today that U.S. Senator Ted Cruz’ is “unfit” to run for President. It’s actually a birther thing. Cruz was born stupid.

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A 46 year old woman was arrested after allegedly stripping on a British Airways flight from Jamaica to London, and then according to the UK Mirror “performing a solo sex act.” Men across the world have one reaction – “Where is the video?”

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NY Yankees are advertising individual game tickets against the “best of the American League”. Translation “which in 2015 will not be us.”

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In Cottonwood, Arizona, eight police officers and a Walmart employee were assaulted in the store parking lot. Two suspects were shot, one fatally, and seven others were arrested. According to a police spokesman, the suspects are all related. ‪#‎Familyvalues‬ Your move, Florida.

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Bloomsburg (Pa.) University dismissed one of their best hitters after he posted a offensive tweet about Mo’ne Davis. (He used the four letter S word that is only marginally better than the four letter C word.)

But okay, once again, the guy is not being dismissed so much for being a sexist pig, but for being idiotic enough to tweet it. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

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John McCain, on CNN, dismissing what “Bibi Netanyahu said during an election campaign.” “If every politician were held to everything they say during a campaign, obviously that would be a topic of long discussion.”

Right, like saying that Sarah Palin was qualified to be President?

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Midlife madness.

March 21, 2015

Biggest surprise for casual fans who usually only watch NBA finals but tune into ‪#‎Marchmadness‬: Many white men do play basketball.

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Lots of empty seats at the UAB vs UCLA second round game in Louisville. Guess Iowa State and SMU fans tore up rather than sold their tickets

 

The SF Chronicle is reporting that the SF Giants, looking at a possible 2015 power drought, want to expand Barry Bonds’ presence with the team. Giants President Larry Baer “we’re trying to do something a little more than just coming down to spring training.” Hmm, like starting in left field?

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Regarding this “party of stupid” thing, have to wonder what the Republicans think they are doing holding up the Loretta Lynch Attorney General nomination. Because until she is confirmed, that job belongs to that GOP “favorite” Eric Holder.

 

Okay, just guessing a tweet like this has never before been sent by an NFL player. From Baltimore Ravens OL John Urshel: “My paper, A Cascadic Multigrid Algorithm for Computing the Fiedler Vector…, has been published in the Journal of Computational Mathematics.”

And in the SEC they’re thinking, “Big deal, we’ve also had a player or two major in foreign languages.”

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Say it ain’t so. So season six of Downton Abbey will be its last. On the brighter side, at least we don’t have to deal with the horror of watching Lady Mary go through menopause.

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A man was shot at New Orleans Airport yesterday after attacking TSA workers. No word on his name but can’t be a member of last year’s Saints defense – they couldn’t hurt anyone..

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Richard White, the 63 year old Louisiana taxi driver who was shot while assaulting TSA workers at New Orleans Airport, has died. He also apparently was carrying a bag filled with a half-dozen gas-filled Molotov cocktails and a barbecue lighter. Not sure White’s motive, but FOX News’s reaction will no doubt be to criticize Obama for not condemning “radical Islam.”

 

Gwyneth Paltrow, in an interview with CNN Money this week. “I’m incredibly close to the common woman…. in that I’m a woman, and a mother”. Anyone but me have this evil urge to watch “Sliding Doors” again and have her tragically caught in those closing doors?”

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Steve Nash, 41, is retiring. “So young?” asked Jamie Moyer.

 

From T.C.  “The Canadian Diving Team finished with 5 medals this week at the FINA Diving World Series in Dubai. Montreal Canadiens’ PK Subban, who was fined for his 3rd diving infraction last week by the NHL, was not part of the team in Dubai.”

(For non-Canadians and/or non-hockey fans… substitute Blake Griffin for PK Subban)

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Cinderella needs to knock off those Thursday night benders?

March 20, 2015

A 17 year old woman was bitten by an alligator in Tampa while swimming in a retention pond near a mall. When will people learn? In Florida, gators ORIGINATED the concept of “standing your ground.”

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Apparently almost 2 percent of entrants in ESPN’s tournament challenge had UCLA advancing to play UAB in the second round. Did they use one of those “quick pick” lottery machines?

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Thursday, Day 1, was wild, but Friday’s potential day 2 Cinderellas may have stayed up partying after midnight last night. ‪#‎noupsets‬ ‪#‎NCAATournament‬

 

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Happiest people about the lack of upsets on Day 2?  Las Vegas bookies who probably took in a lot of last minute upset-money.

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Donald Trump says that as President he promises to make the USA ‘so rich’ that Social Security and Medicare won’t need cuts. So is part of the Donald’s strategy for the country to follow his example and declare bankruptcy four times?

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A new poll shows 36% of adults in the Boston area support the city’s bid to host the 2016 Summer Olympics. That high?

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Eva Mendes yesterday said that the “number one cause of divorce in America” was “sweatpants.” Sweatpants? More like spandex.

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The Oklahoma Thunder are shutting Kevin Durant down indefinitely. Along with their season.

 

 

Robert Morris was up 2-0 on Duke today. So maybe we’ve already had the moment that many of the Colonials will later describe as the “one shining moment”of their lives.

 

Buffalo lost today to West Virginia. Thereby ending a mini-controversy over the team having “New York” on its jersey, even though the state school is a long way from New York City. Wonder how many of the complainers were Jets-Giants fans.

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Wonder if all those people who thought Kentucky was invincible are getting nervous. That 79-56 win over Hampton yesterday didn’t even cover the 33 point spread. ‪#‎Marchmadness‬

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The Oklahoma Thunder announced Kevin Durant has been “removed from basketball activities.” Does that mean they traded him to the Knicks?

 

From Bill Littlejohn “Johnny Manziel is reportedly doing ‘fantastic’ in rehab. Meanwhile, flags are flying at half-staff on the Las Vegas strip.”

 

From Gary Bachman.  “Barack Obama has made his March Madness picks. Unfortunately, they are unlikely to be confirmed by the Senate.”

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For those with busted NCAA brackets – World Country/Leader Brackets

March 19, 2015

This started with a Facebook post. Maybe Americans would pay more attention to world affairs if we put world leaders into brackets.

And since everyone’s brackets are busted anyway. Why not?

Jeff Klein suggests for #1 seeds, “Obviously Obama. Probably Xi Jinping of China, Putin, and maybe Angela Merkel of Germany. Merkel would probably be the #1 everyone would say shouldn’t be there.”

But hey, okay, Israel-Palestine for a hotly contested #8 vs. #9 seed.

England with a mid-level seed, feeling like they should move up. Because they expect a new royal baby player coming in off the bench.

India as a high seed facing Pakistan?

Bruce N. suggests “China would just go into “Hack-A-Barack” mode earlyon since they’ve got a deep bench.”
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Trump of course would be angling for a play-in game. Etc.

Okay, anyone reading this. Have fun. And good luck with Friday’s brackets.

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It’s clearly his fault….

March 19, 2015

Texas Southern – gone, SMU – gone, Texas – gone, Baylor – gone. Last time the state of Texas had a day this bad, the Alamo was involved.

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Stephen F. Austin makes a strong showing but joins Thursday’s Texas ‪#‎MarchMadness‬ loss parade. How long will it take Ted Cruz to blame Obama?

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So many upsets and busted brackets that with their lack of  productivity today, American office workers are being named honorary members of Congress. ‪#‎MarchMadness‬

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That stampeding sound you hear is every potential GOP Presidential candidate rushing to tell Iowans “I feel your pain.” ‪

(UAB over Iowa State.)

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Looking good for cat brackets. Georgia State is the Panthers. (Two most common reactions across America – “Georgia State has a Panther mascot?” “Georgia State has a team?”)

 

How many of their nine lives did ‪#Bearcats‬ use in beating ‪#‎Purdue‬?    And thus earning a beat down by Kentucky.

 

But really, Bearcats are  not real cats. But that last Cincinnati shot at the buzzer in regulation sure looked like voodoo was involved. ‪#‎Marchmadness‬

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It has been an absolute consensus that ‪#‎UCLA‬ did not belong in the ‪#‎NCAATournament‬. Apparently neither did ‪#‎SMU‬
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Getting into the NCAA tournament when with their record they belonged in the NIT, then winning on a disputed goal tending call on a 3-point shot. Well, maybe God IS a UCLA Bruin. Or maybe he/she REALLY doesn’t like that east coast bias.
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Larry Brown says Kentucky could make the playoffs in the NBA East. Coach John Calipari is thinking “Make the playoffs in the East? That’s absurd. We should be at least a five seed.”
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Liza Minnelli is back in rehab. At this point is she getting a frequent stay discount?
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The SF Giants announced that Angel Pagan is having back issues, will need an injection, and will miss at least another three games. So congrats to everyone who had March 19 in the pool.
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President Obama yesterday publicly mulled the idea of mandatory voting. Why go to the trouble of making it the law? Just give everyone who votes a lottery ticket…. The USA would be at 90% turnout in no time.
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Israel PM Benjamin Netanyahu, after promising during his campaign that there would be no Palestinian state, today said “I don’t want a one-state solution. I want a sustainable, peaceful two-state solution…” So I guess he has more in common with American politicians than many of us thought.

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If you’re reading this…. shouldn’t you be working on your brackets?

March 18, 2015

Wonder what the once-again revamped Oakland As with all their new players will choose for their 2015 slogan. Think the NCAA may have already trademarked “One-and-done.”

 

Syracuse has announced men’s basketball coach Jim Boeheim will retire in three years. Interesting. Does this mean the Orangemen will make a “whatever it takes” push for the tournament in 2018, and then Boeheim will leave before they have to vacate the wins?

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President Obama picked undefeated Kentucky to win the NCAA men’s basketball tournament. Out of habit many in the GOP were about to disagree with him then stopped thinking “We’re crazy but we’re not THAT stupid.”

 

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#‎ESPN‬ headline: “President Obama: Cats wear crown.” Narrows it down to about six teams. ‪#‎Kentucky‬ ‪#‎Villanova‬ ‪#‎Arizona‬ etc. ‪#‎MarchMadness‬

 

SMU coach Larry Brown said today the thought Kentucky would make the NBA playoffs in the East. And John Calipari no doubt is thinking, “That’s absurd. Make the playoffs?! We should be at least a 4 seed in the East? ”

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Starbucks says it will start a delivery service in some parts of New York City later this year. For all those customers who can’t cross the street to get to the nearest branch?

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Baltimore RB Bernard Pierce has become the third Raven arrested this off-season, in his case for DUI. Looking good for all those who bet the “over.”

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Dallas has signed DE Greg Hardy to a one-year deal, although Hardy is still waiting for the NFL’s decision on a possible suspension for violating the league’s domestic conduct policy. Guess the Cowboys’ hating season is starting early this year.

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Donald Trump has formed a Presidential Exploratory Committee for 2016 saying “I am the only one who can make America truly great again!” Make America “truly great?” Trump can’t even do a great job with that furry thing that lives on his head.

 

From Alex Kaseberg ” the NCAA men’s college basketball tournament are set. The general consensus is Kentucky will win unless, in the last two minutes of the championship game, they are coached by Pete Carroll.

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The body of a man who was seen falling off the Carnival Triumph on Tuesday, the last night of a 5-day cruise, was found this morning. On the bright side, at least he didn’t have to pay his St. Patrick’s Day bar bill.

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T.J. Maxx has pulled a T-shirt from its stores when a customer in Florida complained. The shirt featured the phrase “Hang Loose,” along with a noose. The question here isn’t why they pulled the shirt, but who was stupid enough to try to sell it in the first place?

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Louisiana Rep. John Fleming just said Obama’s executive action on immigration is part of a “grand plan” to fix elections.

Because undocumented immigrants will have driver’s licenses, and in “many states, the only thing that are (sic) required to vote is simply an ID, well they’ll have one….. this is a part of a grand plan for the Democrat Party to make this nation into a single party state, as they have already accomplished in California, and you see the devastating impact it’s having there.”

‪#‎cantfixstupid‬, on so many levels.

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Beating the odds?

March 17, 2015

Hampton beat Manhattan Tuesday night in the “First Four” to get into the NCAA men’s basketball tournament. Where they will play Kentucky. Sort of like winning a competition between two Christians to meet the lions.

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Stanford beat UC Davis in tonight’s first round of the NIT. And yeah, it’s not exactly a great accomplishment. But but it’s a heck of a lot better than losing in the first round of the NIT. Or losing to UC Davis, anytime.  (As former Stanford football coach Walt Harris would tell you – 20-17 in 2005)

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Pete Rose has submitted a new request to be reinstated to baseball. Rose is optimistic this time, figuring his odds are 2 to 1.

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After ‪#‎ChrisBorland‬ leaving the SF 49ers, who’s next? Presumably some player who’s afraid of drowning inside the sinking ship?

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Chris Borland, 24, is ending his NFL career because of worries about brain damage. Why so young? Maybe only young players still have brains working well enough to think about it.

 

The Kappa Delta Rho frat at Penn State fraternity has been suspended over allegedly having a “secret Facebook page showing mostly nude women who were ‘sleeping or passed out.'” Wonder how many people at the University are thinking “Thank God they were at least adult women”?

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Passengers on a United flight from Dulles tackled and subdued a possibly drunk or drugged man who was rushing the cockpit soon after takeoff last night. United may or may not reward the passengers, but the Washington Redskins are interested in talking to the men for a tryout on defense.

 

The Secret Service said a letter mailed to the White House tested “presumptive positive” for cyanide. What was the first clue that made them suspicious? That someone actually mailed a real paper letter to the White House?

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Toronto Blue Jays OF Kevin Pillar apparently injured his oblique while sneezing last weekend. The SF Giants just ordered Jeremy Affeldt to start taking preventive Benadryl.

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Kanye West tweeted nude pictures of Kim Kardashian when she reached 30 million Twitter followers. With all due respect are there any of those 30 million who haven’t already seen her naked?

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Ryanair says their long range plans include transatlantic flights, with fares as low as1 10 pounds. (about $15 USD.) Of course the fees for boarding passes, carry-on bags, checked bags, credit card usage, oxygen masks, seat belts, seat cushions and lavatories etc will push the ticket price up several hundred dollars.

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#‎StPatricksDay‬ toast: May your troubles last as long as your perfect brackets. ‪#‎HappyStPatricksDay‬

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So St. Patrick’s Day in America has become green beer day. Lading to March 18 being “green after too much beer day.”

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House Republicans have introduced another budget with massive spending cuts and yet another proposed repeal of Obamacare. If they really want to make their point, why don’t GOP members in the House offer to give up their own expensive healthcare and shop for alternatives on the open market?

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Illinois Rep. Aaron Schock is resigning his seat over allegations of improper spending, including real estate deals, and using congressional money to redecorate his office in “Downton Abbey” style. Buzzfeed had just reported he also spent $5,000 for a portable podium that looks like the current presidential podium. So clearly this is Obama’s fault.

(My friend Richard Rothschild says “Yet another example of why Illinois consistently is the No. 1 Midwest seed in the National Corruption Tournament.”)

 

 

From Marc Ragovin   “I’m not saying that Robert Durst is guilty, but he just demanded that a Las Vegas sports memorabilia dealer give him back his stuff.”

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Bad seeds?

March 16, 2015

The “Academic politics is the most vicious and bitter form of politics, because the stakes are so low.” award for the week goes to Yale. The University is upset because they feel they were snubbed for the NIT Tournament…..

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Most bracket challenges don’t close until Wednesday night. After Tuesday and Wednesday’s “First Four games.”  What a downer for four of the eight play-in teams. Not only will they not be Cinderellas, they won’t even get those millions of temporary fans who picked them for their colors, mascots, etc…

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SF 49ers LB Chris Borland, 24, said today he is retiring after his rookie year over concerns about the long-term effects of repetitive head trauma. Maybe the standard NFL concussion worries, but perhaps Borland also feels that being part of the 49ers will result in him repeatedly banging his head against the wall?

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Former SF 49er Ray McDonald, who had charges dropped against him for assaulting his fiancee in August, is now apparently going to sue a woman who accused him of sexual assault in December. (His lawyer says security video says the sex, in a hot-tub was consensual.) Just thinking, whether or not McDonald is guilty of any type of assault, he does seem to be guilty of stupidity. ‪#‎keepitzipped‬

 

Paul McCartney’s ex-wife Heather Mills said in an interview “When I go down the street, I get kids coming up to me… half of them don’t even know who he (McCartney) is. That’s why he has to do songs with Rihanna and Kanye West, so people remember.” Hmm, wonder if “kids” come up to Heather, 47, on the street because they think she’s working on it?

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He thought the mattress would stand its ground? A Florida man was killed when he tried to ride in the back of a pickup truck while sitting on an unsecured mattress and was flung onto the ground. Police reported that “an autopsy is being conducted to determine his cause of death.” How about terminal stupidity?

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ESPN’s Adam Schefter just reported that QB Tim Tebow worked out today for Chip Kelly and the Eagles. ‘Oh please, oh please” said every comedy writer in America.

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SI is reporting that Jameis Winston will stay home with family and friends and will not attend the NFL draft in Chicago. Did they not offer him enough crab legs?

 

The US HHS Dept says the uninsured rate of American adults fell from 20.3% five years ago before Obamacare , to 13.2%. The largest drop – 35% and over 16 million people – in four decades. The GOP no doubt used this occasion to rail against commie pinko concepts like math.

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Now Jon Voight is saying that President Obama “does not love Israel.” All these people talking about the President and who he loves. It’s like we’re back to having Clinton in office.

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The UK Daily Mail is reporting that Stefano Gabbana of Dolce & Gabbana, who criticized gay parents for having “synthetic children,” was quoted in an Italian newspaper in 2006 as having asked a women friend to have his baby via IVF. Wow. This guy is a big enough hypocrite you wonder if his dream is to leave the fashion world for politics.

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Two former Justice Department lawyers, one from the Obama administration, one from the Bush administration, have written in a Harvard Law Review that Ted Cruz is a “natural born Citizen,” and that “an individual born to a U.S. citizen parent — whether in California or Canada or the Canal Zone — is a U.S. citizen from birth and is fully eligible to serve as President if the people so choose.”

Waiting for some in the GOP to try to add “except if that individual is born in Kenya, or Hawaii.”

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Throwing darts?

March 15, 2015

Amazing how many people who will wait until April 14, or file for extensions. with their taxes because they don’t have time, will spend most of this evening on their ‪#‎MarchMadness‬ brackets.

 

 

It’s late night on Selection Sunday and most Americans are hard at working trying to predict who’s going to end up in the finals losing to Kentucky.

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As if we didn’t need more proof that sports is a young and fit person’s game, Georgia State won the Sun Belt championship today, which got them into the NCAA tournament. And coach Ron Hunter, while celebrating the win on the court, tore his ACL. (Somebody at the SF Giants guard Jeremy Affeldt if one of his underdog bracket teams wins.)

 

There were lots of disappointed bubble teams today on March Madness Selection Sunday. But based on their record, it should have been at least a ten seed for the NY Knicks

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Almost as much of a tradition as the ‪#‎MarchMadness‬ selection, is the bitching from teams who think they were one of the “first four out.” Right. Because they were denied a chance to get destroyed in the first round.

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While much of the country is concerned about their ‪#‎MarchMadness‬ seeding, here in the SF Bay Area fans of local teams were wondering if Stanford and Cal had a chance to meet in the ‪#‎NIT‬ finals.

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(Alas, Cal ended up on the wrong side of the NIT bubble, and turned down a CBI bid. )

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The ‪#‎NIT‬ selection committee has a sick sense of humor. #Stanford‬, the #2 seed, opens against ‪#‎UCDavis‬.

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Blake Griffin is back after missing most of the last month with a right elbow injury. Although presumably the Clippers center will be careful now and only flop on his left side.

 

 

Al Rosen had a third of a page obituary in today’s NY Times. About half dedicated to his time with the Indians, most of the rest to his time as President of the Yankees, and two short lines total to his time as GM of the Astros and SF Giants. ‪#‎whateastcoastbias‬?

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So now it comes out that Jeb Bush used personal email to discuss security and Middle East military issues while governor of Florida. And no doubt back and forth allegations will continue. At least we can all be grateful that neither JFK or Bill Clinton had the ability to email, nor worse, text, while in office….

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Designers Dolce & Gabbana, said in an interview that they were against gay adoptions, but also “‘No chemical offsprings and rented uterus… And Dolce added “it must be an act of love… I call children of chemistry, synthetic children.”

Elton John has angrily called for a boycott of the brand. But leaving gay parenting out, guess D & G are so ignorant they don’t realize that the same heterosexual couples who can afford to buy their stuff are the same couples who can afford IVF and other high-priced fertility treatments. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬, designer division.

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Okay, I’ve got it, we can’t have a vote on attorney general nominee Loretta Lynch because Mitch McConnell won’t allow it. Until and unless the Senate passes a human trafficking bill, where the GOP has inserted anti-abortion language that Democrats act like they finally just read….And we wonder why Americans are turned off by politics.

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Higher math?

March 14, 2015

In India, a bride left her husband to be at the altar after testing him on his math skills. She asked “How much is 15 plus six?” He answered, 17. Just guessing that’s not going to be part of Bristol Palin’s wedding ceremony.

 

 

Since their performances in Chicago on July 4 weekend sold out so quickly, the surviving members of the Grateful Dead are reportedly thinking about adding shows at Levi’s Stadium or AT&T Park. Now, I know a lot of Deadheads are in the SF Bay Area. But really, for real authenticity, shouldn’t the band now consider a show in Colorado?

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Vladimir Putin has not been seen in public for over a week. Yesterday Swiss paper Bilk reported that the Russian leader, 62, was in Switzerland with his rumored girlfriend, Alina Kabayeva, 31, a former gold-medal gymnast, for the birth of their daughter. Hmm. wonder if Putin will return saying he was hiking the Alpine trail.

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RIP Al Rosen, 91.. Seems sadly fitting that he and Candlestick Park would not outlive each other. ‪#‎Yougottalikethiskids‬ ‪#‎SFGiants‬

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Who says geeks have no sense of humor? MIT issued its admissions decisions Saturday night at 9:26pm ‪#‎PiDay‬

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Amazing some of the “stupid-is-a-virtue” types in this country weren’t screaming about “Happy Pi Day” being elitist. But to be fair, they probably thought it only refers to dessert.

 

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Groupon is selling tickets to see Chicago and Earth, Wind & Fire this July. Is this a good idea now? The bands’ targeted demographic may not be able to remember anything they book that far ahead.

 

The Toronto Raptors just ended a 16-game losing streak tonight against the Miami Heat. And the Philadelphia 76ers sniffed “amateurs!”

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The San Jose Sharks may not make the playoffs, but they’re making headlines. On Thursday, GM Doug Wilson told a group of season holders that the team took the captain’s “C” from Joe Thornton because the pressure and stress were getting to him. And on Friday, Thornton told the Mercury News, Doug “just needs to stop lying, shut his mouth.” Who do the Sharks think they are? The 49ers?

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Jeb Bush refused to say whether he would have signed the letter the 47 Senators wrote to Iran, saying they did it out of “frustration” and “that I do think that we need to get back to a bipartisan consensus on foreign policy.” Translation, I want to be President and I don’t want the Democrats doing the same thing to me.

 

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As Americans prepare for selection Sunday, perhaps a way we could get people to focus on their vote for 2016 is to start a Presidential Bracket. 64 picks, presumably with Bush and Clinton as one seeds, maybe Walker and Warren next. Plenty of trendy picks like Christie, Paul, etc. And enough potential Cinderellas to fill out the rest. (Not like say, Harvard, has any more chance than some political unknowns.)

Then simply say the brackets could not be used for real betting purposes and let the fun begin.

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Out of place.

March 13, 2015

John Madden was upset about Will Ferrell’s spring training escapades, feeling that the aging comic actor had no place on a baseball field with real players. Wait until someone tells Madden that A-Rod’s back in Yankees camp.

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A meth lab was found inside a backpack in a Muncie, Indiana Wal-Mart bathroom. Police presumably are looking at surveillance videos for anyone who bought all five seasons of the “Breaking Bad” DVDs.

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SF 49ers CB Chris Culliver has now signed with Washington. Now, I know Culliver has issues, but how much of a train wreck does your team have to be before the Redskins look like a better option?

 

Dear gawd. As Candlestick Park is being demolished now even more memorabilia is being sold online. Not just seats, but parking lot signs, lockers, traffic cones, and, no joke, the IV holder from the home team locker room. What’s next? Urinals?

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Capital New York is reporting that Wikipedia pages about alleged police brutality, like the Eric Garner case, have been altered from NYPD computers at 1 Police Plaza. Not only are crooks stupid, but also sometimes so are the people chasing them…. ‪#‎IPaddresswhatIPaddress‬?

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So keeping her emails on a private server may confirm to many Americans that Hillary Clinton is secretive, calculating and not always 100% honest. Which actually might be qualities many people want in a President.

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Why there is no satire, from a new paper on “Attention decay in science” by researchers in Finland and Palo Alto, California: “The exponential growth in the number of scientific papers makes it increasingly difficult for researchers to keep track of all the publications relevant to their work. Consequently, the attention that can be devoted to individual papers, measured by their citation counts, is bound to decay rapidly”

Translation, this study has found there are too many studies.

 

 

Pablo Sandoval, in response to a former teammate calling him out over his ego on a Facebook post. “Who is Aubrey Huff?” Apparently no one ever taught the Panda, who has three World Series rings despite playing in only two of them, and who signed a $95 million contract with Boston, that no one likes a sore winner.

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So two judges have ruled that the difficult question of whether Uber and Lyft are employees or independent contractors must go to juries. Great, so a difficult legal decision that will affect the livelihoods of tens of thousands of people may well be made by 12 people who aren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Univision fired talk show host Rodner Figueroa after he said that first lady Michelle Obama “looks like she’s from the cast of Planet of the Apes.” Was Figueroa angling to get a job at FOX News?

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So safety Antrel Rolle signed with the Chicago Bears because of what he said was a “sign from God”, an Orbitz ad on his phone with discount fares to Chicago. Does that mean Rolle would have signed with the SF 49ers if his phone had an ad for RIngling Brothers?

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St Petersburg police determined that a 25 year old man who was fatally shot on a bicycle died because a gun he was carrying in his jacket pocket accidentally went off. Back on your game, Florida. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

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Check, please.

March 12, 2015

Apparently a payment is due this month for SF 49ers fans who bought PSL’s at Levi’s Stadium. After this month writing that check has to feel like paying alimony

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Will Ferrell today played for 10 teams in five games during Spring Training in Arizona, and played all nine positions. Who does he think he is? Bugs Bunny?

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Now that Will Ferrell, 47, has played during Spring Training for 10 teams in the Cactus League, some wonder if he might repeat the stunt for teams in Florida’s Grapefruit League. Probably not, as Ferrell is much too young for the Yankees.

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Rudy Giuliani is now blaming Obama and the “tone set by the President” for the McDonald’s brawl and the Ferguson shooting. He also said Obama should be “more like Bill Cosby.” Hey, wasn’t that Bill Clinton’s job?

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Cal DE Brennan Scarlett is transferring to Stanford for his final year and will play football for the Cardinal in 2015. And apparently his car was vandalized after news of the move broke. Well, at least Scarlett wasn’t transferring between SEC rivals… he might have been shot at.

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Disney has announced plans for a “Frozen 2”, albeit with no announced date for the movie’s release. Many parents are just hoping the sequel takes long enough to produce that their children will have gotten too old to want to see it again, and again, and again. ‪#‎letitgo‬

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And the hits just keep on coming. Today in the Aaron Hernandez trial, the former player was shown on his own surveillance video walking in his house with what looked like a Glock gun, minutes after Odin Lloyd was shot. Now you have to wonder how Hernandez ever was smart enough to learn the Patriots’ (and Gators’) playbooks.

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Jimmy Kimmel introduced President Obama as the “first Kenyan-born Muslim Socialist ever elected president.” And over at FOX they’re saying “Finally, someone in the liberal media admits it.”

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Darrelle Revis said he followed his heart to return to the NY Jets from the New England Patriots. And nothing says love like $39 million of a $70 million NFL contract guaranteed.

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Ah, those targeted ads. Was reading the story about the Canadian woman who was killed in Cabo when a whale breached and landed on her tour boat. And now I’m getting ads for United’s discount airfares to Cabo San Lucas.

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United Airlines has sent out an email to their elite members talking about an improved Premium Cabin experience that includes “enhanced” amenity kits. Maybe the kits, in addition to the usual socks, eye shade, moisturizer etc, now include a shoe horn so you can get into your seat when you travel economy?

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So the Hillary Clinton email controversy continues. But apparently she has not been the only one to combine government and personal communications. Will we next find out that John McCain used the same blanket to send both official and personal smoke signals?

 

 

 

 

From T.C.  “A picture of a massive alligator taken by a member of Florida’s Myakka Pines Golf Course has gone viral. The club’s Facebook page has generated thousands of hits a day. The club invites visitors play the course but reminds you that it’s 400 399 members have priority for times.”

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Send in the clowns.

March 12, 2015

The Houston Texans just traded QB Ryan Fitzpatrick to the NY Jets. Not sure how Fitzpatrick feels about the deal. But isn’t it many little boys’ dream to grow up and join the circus?

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The construction of a large telescope on Mauna Kea in Hawaii has been temporaily been delayed by a blizzard warning, which is forecast to drop 5-8 inches of snow on the mountain. 5-8 inches?! In Boston they are just weeping.

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The Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race, which started Monday, had to move 600 miles north due to a lack of snow. Hmm, maybe they should have just moved it to Boston.

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The Korean Air flight attendant who was attacked over how she served macadamia nuts has now retained two American law firms to sue the airline, claiming her career was ruined. Sounds like nut rage is contagious.

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The KC Royals minor league affiliate Wilmington (Delaware) BlueRocks now have a Krispy Kreme Donut Dog available for sale at their games. Featuring a hot dog, bacon and raspberry jelly sandwiched in a donut. Wilmington is only an hour drive from Trenton. Is this a shameless attempt by the BlueRocks to get N.J. Gov Chris Christie to attend a game?

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The crew on “Morning Joe” said today that rappers and rap music could be to blame for Sigma Alpha Epsilon’s racist chant, because that’s where the frat brothers probably learned the n-word. So how long until this is Obama’s fault?

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There are allegations that two senior Secret Service agents were out partying last week in Washington D.C. last week, and crashed their government car into the White House security barricades. Well, at least they didn’t have the car full of prostitutes.

 

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So if this letter to Iran continues to be a PR nightmare will the 47 GOP senators involved blame Democrats for requiring them to learn how to write and sign their names in school?

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From Alex Kaseberg ““2015 has started off as a wild year. Two llamas escape, nobody can agree on the colors of a dress, and Harrison Ford has hit more fairways than Tiger Woods.”

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Who knew?

March 10, 2015

Hottest accessory in ‪#‎NFL‬ locker rooms this preseason? Badges in team colors saying “Hi, my name is….”

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How many NFL teams will be playing a new theme song?    “The Who'”s  “Who Are You?”

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Jake Locker has announced his retirement from the NFL. Jake Locker was still in the NFL?

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So is ‪#‎JedYork‬ trying to change the ‪#‎49ers‬ new motto from ‪#‎Winningwithclass‬ to ‪#‎Losingwithanass‬? ‪#‎sf49ers‬

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All this controversy about a bunch of potentially embarrassing emails, and then 47 GOP senators decide to go ahead and prove you can write something absolutely embarrassing in an old-fashioned letter

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The latest Hillary Clinton email scandal, that she said her email server “contains personal communications from my husband and me.” And Bill has said he has only sent two emails in his entire life, but he loves Twitter. So maybe Hillary is lying. Or maybe she’s just another woman whose husband who responds either with silence, or 140 character or less answers.

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The Boston ‪#‎RedSox‬ have to be wondering, what will ‪#‎PabloSandoval‬ say about THEM when he moves onto his next team?

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A 27 year-old Central Florida woman was apparently so focused on her texting that she walked into a moving freight train.. While she sustained injuries to her right arm and leg, the woman was expected to survive. And somewhere again Darwin is thinking “Missed it by THAT much.”

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The Wisconsin Timber Rattlers, a minor league affiliate of the Milwaukee Brewers, are introducing a new “Funnel Cake Burger” this summer. Featuring a beef patty, bacon and cheese, sandwiched between two sugar dusted funnel cakes. The price is $20, but presume it comes with a discount coupon for an EKG.

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Woman on a bench outside our office, talking loudly on a iPhone speaker about her business deals. So tempting to ask her to speak up a bit so we can take notes.

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A 32-year-old woman was arrested for indecent exposure for sitting naked outside a Dunkin’ Donuts. She told police she did it as a dare. Well, this time it’s pretty easy to guess Florida. Sure wouldn’t happen now in Boston.

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South Dakota may join Idaho, Texas, Utah and Wyoming as states with 80 MPH speed limits. Interesting enough, they’re all states you might want to drive like a bat out of hell to get out of….

 

Apparently Tri-Delta sorority members were also on that SAE party bus where they were singing the racist chant, and some may have been involved. The National Chapter of Delta Delta Delta released a statement saying “the behavior documented in the video is deplorable and is in no way consistent with Tri Delta’s ideals and core values.” Well this is a bit of a shock. Sororities have “core values?”

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The 49ers, maybe not a train wreck, but a light rail wreck.

March 10, 2015

Who’d a thunk that the ‪#‎OaklandRaiders‬ might turn out to be the least dysfunctional NFL team in the SF Bay Area? ‪#‎SF49ers‬

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Based on this ‪#‎SF49ers‬ off season looks like ‪#‎JedYork‬ is well on his way to becoming as popular an owner as ‪#‎DanSnyder‬

 

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The 49ers’ LB Patrick Willis says he is going to retire. Well, at least he’ll be one big name SF fans won’t have to watch with another team.

 

The 49ers’ Bruce Miller has been arrested for spousal battery. If this gets much worse fans will be getting sympathy notes from Jets’ fans.

 

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Alex Kaseberg: “I’ve seen rats more loyal to sinking ships than players are to the 49ers.”

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AZ Cardinals LB Alex Okafor was arrested at 1:50 a.m. Monday morning on “suspicion of evading police.” This after Austin, TX police responded to a disturbance report, and Okafor allegedly ran from officers but was caught. Hmm, he was caught? Now we’re seeing another reason why NFL teams care about those 40 yard combine scores.

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Only Monday and we may have the week’s champion: An Idaho man, Joey Patterson, 22, was wanted for a probation violation. He was found and arrested after he posted on Facebook when he announced when and where he was going to play softball. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

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All of this hype on the Apple Watch. Wonder if it can tell time?

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The SAE chapter at the University of Oklahoma has been shut down after members posted a racist video on the 50th anniversary of Selma. Once again, guys trying to prove that it’s an oxymoron to refer to “fraternity men.” ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬ ‪#‎cantfixbeingassholeseither‬

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Simpsons’ producer Sam Simon has passed away after a long battle with cancer. At his funeral, presume they will serve, “mmmm…donuts.”

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Apparently Tim Tebow may try one more time to make an NFL roster at the veteran combine. “Attaboy!” said Brett Favre.

 

So regarding Pablo Sandoval. I think many SF Giants fans, including myself, were sympathetic to his thinking he wanted a new challenge, even if the grass didn’t turn out be as green as Fenway’s monster. But what’s surprising is the vitrol from him about his time in SF, saying he wasn’t respected just because they wouldn’t give him a big contract after a bad year, and that he doesn’t miss anyone etc.

This wasn’t a Jed York-Jim Harbaugh situation. But all Sandoval is doing is burning bridges of goodwill, and setting himself up for a rather large letdown. IMHO.

 

Serious bus to hell time. Apparently 10 people have been killed when two helicopters carrying passengers filming a reality show TV show crashed today in Argentina. Sorry, folks, they weren’t filming “The Bachelor.”

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47 GOP senators sent an open letter to Iran, saying that any potential nuclear agreement negotiated by Iran and Obama come to is “a mere executive agreement.” And “the next president could revoke such an executive agreement with the stroke of a pen and future Congresses could modify the terms of the agreement at any time.”

Now, one of these elections we are going to have a Republican president again. I’m sure he or she will be thrilled to see this precedent.

 

 

 

 

From T.C.  World #1 golfer Rory McIlroy fired his caddy today and has hired a scuba diver to carry his bag.

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Going, gore-ing, gone…..

March 8, 2015

Apparently Frank Gore is planning to sign with the Eagles. Will the last 49ers fan favorite to leave Levi’s Stadium please turn out the lights?

 

 

You know you’re not in Kansas, or the San Francisco Bay Area, anymore, when the first sign you see at United Airlines check-in is “If you are traveling with a firearm…” (Phoenix, AZ)

 

 

Selection Sunday for March Madness is March 15. Meaning most Americans have less than one week before we can start passionately caring about teams we didn’t know existed before.

 

 

And now the latest rumor out of Santa Clara, Jayson Braddock of SportsTalk 790 in Houston says the SF 49ers are trying to trade Colin Kaepernick. “49ers” may soon refer to the price in cents people will have paid for tickets.

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So does the Dolphins’ signing of ‪#‎NdamukongSuh‬ mean they are really putting their foot down on bullying?

 

Two American tourists were arrested and charged with carving their initials into the Colesseum in Rome. And we can’t even put it down to testosterone poisoning.  They are young women, ages 21 and 25.

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The cherry on the stupid top of the tourists who carved their initials into the Colosseum: These two idiot women TOOK A SELFIE with their handiwork. That stampeding sound you hear across the ocean is prosecuting attorneys volunteering to take the case.

 

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Lindsey Graham today: “You can have every email I’ve ever sent — I’ve never sent one. I don’t know what that makes me.” So maybe Mike Huckabee is right about man co-existing with dinosaurs.

 

Not defending Hillary Clinton here, but regarding this email flap: One, so how many people on both sides of the aisle got emails from her personal address and no one felt inclined to call her on it and/or go to the media. And two, my sense is that Clinton is smart, and secretive, enough that the things we might really worry about weren’t put in an email.

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