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The 2.7% factor?

January 6, 2015

Okay, Randy Johnson was elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame after earning votes of 97.3% of the writers. The real news of the day:. Who are the idiots who didn’t think the Big Unit was good enough?

 

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Not that I am equating the two, so hold the hater comments. But the people who insist there were no PED users in MLB before Bonds and company are about as realistic as those who insist there are no gay men in MLB, or the NFL or NBA…..

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Great, Cowboys owner Jerry Jones wants Chris Christie at Lambeau Field for the Dallas-Green Bay game Sunday, saying “He’s part of our mojo. I want him there all the way. I’ll tell you, if he’s got enough mojo to pull this thing out, he ought to be looked at as President of the United States.”

Uh, my cat might have proven her voodoo powers with the SFGiants World Series win in 2014, but that doesn’t mean she should be President.

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Clearly I am not a coffee snob. I hear all the talk about “flat whites” and think it’s the Carnac answer to “What happens when Chris Christie jumps on people in the Cowboys’ luxury box?”

 

Bus to hell time, again. So former SF Giants All-Star Stu Miller died just as they are about to implode Candlestick Park. Talk about the potential for scattered ashes.

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Novelist and screenwriter Nicholas Sparks and his wife are ending their marriage of 25 years.. So assume he will turn the divorce into a soppy story and movie to pay alimony?

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Adam Vinatieri, 42, was randomly drug-tested after Sunday’s game, when he made a 53 yard field goal. Fortunately the Colts kicker no doubt travels with the list of approved drugs he gets through Medicare.

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Former Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell has been sentenced to two years in prison for his 11 convictions on public corruption charges. So sounds like he’ll be out in plenty of time to run for mayor of D.C. or any office in Louisiana.

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The GOP-led House voted to keep John Boehner as speaker, despite challenges from Reps. Louie Gohmert of Texas and Ted Yoho of Florida. ‪#‎wearecrazybutnotthatcrazy‬

 

O.J. Simpson’s Heisman Trophy, which was stolen in a 1994 USC burglary, has just been recovered. O.J. has immediately petitioned for parole so he can hunt for the real burglars.

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From Bill Littlejohn,  “The upcoming NCAA football championship will feature Pac-12’s Oregon vs. Big Ten’s Ohio State in a (former) Rose Bowl matchup. Shouldn’t they move it to Pasadena, Texas?”

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Passing through

January 6, 2015

TMZ reports that Johnny Manziel flipped off hecklers at a Houston club this weekend, and they responded by throwing drinks at him. Then the Cleveland rookie QB presumably tried to throw a drink back… but it was intercepted.

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Both the Buckeyes and Ducks are wearing new uniforms for the Championship game next Monday, thanks to Nike. The company is paying Oregon $600,000 in cash and $2.2 million equipment allowance this year. And they are giving Ohio State $1.5 million in cash and $2.5 million in equipment. But heaven forbid a booster buy one of the players dinner.

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New Orleans LB linebacker Junior Galette has been arrested on a domestic violence charge. Few details yet, but expect Galette will plead not guilty. After all he’s a Saints defender, they don’t hit anybody.

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A unnamed member of the Ferguson grand jury that didn’t indict police officer Darrell Wilson for shooting Michael Brown has filed a lawsuit to remove a lifetime gag order about the case. Translation, someone wants a book deal.

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Olivia Newton-John and Grease co-star Didi Conn (Frenchie) reunited for a performance in Las Vegas this week. Only now they were both singing “You might be the One That I Want, if I could remember.”

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Apparently after Kanye West and Paul McCartney collaborated on a single, some of West’s fans tweeted “Who is Paul McCartney?” Won’t be too many years before music fans will ask “Who is Kanye West?”

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Former Giants’ pitcher Stu Miller has died at the age of 87. There will be no pallbearers at his funeral, instead, his casket will just be placed on a mound and blown into the grave.

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People will be talking about that pass interference reversal for decades, especially if the Cowboys go further in the playoffs. But whether it was the right call or not, does anyone think there was a snowball’s chance in hell a flag would have been picked up if it were on a Lions defender during Dallas’s last drive?

 
My friend Trevor commented, “Odd, Lions usually have no problem with the Zebras…”
 

Detroit Lions coach Jim Caldwell said the pass interference penalty that was taken away was “hard to swallow.” Agree with him, but also hard to swallow when you choke with a 4th and 1 AND a 10 yard punt.

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Chris Christie was shown celebrating yesterday in Jerry Jones’ box. But he missed on a high five with Jones. Either that or the Dallas Cowboys’ owner was just trying to stay out of the way of a offensive lineman sized hit.

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Oil has fallen below $50 a barrel. So no doubt the airlines will be lowering fuel surcharges that in some cases are more than the cost of the fare itself. At the same time they start putting pigs on board every flight.

 

Got to give ‪#‎TheBachelor‬ credit. One episode is enough to make many people question why they ever wanted to defend heterosexual marriage.

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Jeb Bush said yesterday that gay marriage should be “a state decision.” Right, like driver’s licenses for illegal immigrants, abortion and legalized marijuana

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Two police officers were shot tonight in the Bronx. But fortunately reports are neither sustained life-threatening injuries. Also fortunately, reports are neither of the suspects is black.

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To flag or not to flag?

January 5, 2015

Refs not only picked up a flag for Dallas tonight, they turned millions of fans, casual and otherwise, into certified Cheesehead Green Bay Packers fans next weekend

 

Okay, let’s be honest here. Other factors beyond the “tuck rule” – including the overtime rule at the time, which meant the Raiders never had the ball after they lost the coin toss – contributed to Oakland’s 2002 loss to New England. And Detroit made plenty of mistakes today against Dallas. But it was still a chickensh*t move to call a penalty and pick up the flag. Especially when the NFL needs all the integrity it can get. ‪#‎ImtalkingaboutyouGoodell‬

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The SEC is thinking that if they had ‪#‎DETvsDAL‬ referees in the ‪#‎SugarBowl‬, ‪#‎Alabama‬ would be playing for the national championship next week.

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All is explained. Refs looked in ‪#‎Dallas‬ owner ‪#‎JerryJones‬‘ box & realized they needed to cross bridges to get home ‪#‎DETvsDAL‬ ‪#‎ChrisChristie‬

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Since CBS has the Bengals-Colts game, after ESPN’s pre-game show on the NFL playoffs, the network shifted over to the PBA Scorpion Bowling Championship. Wouldn’t it been cheaper with similar ratings to have run a test pattern?

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Thinking David Shaw at Stanford did a better job of containing Andrew Luck than many NFL defenses are doing.

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Meanwhile, going to be tough for the SF 49ers, finding a coach who is smart enough to lead the team back to the playoffs, and still dumb enough to think Jed York knows what he’s doing.

 

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Nice win Saturday for the Ravens, but afterwards coach John Harbaugh declared Joe Flacco “the best quarterback in football.” With all due respect, and I like the guy, Flacco isn’t even the best QB in the AFC North.

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Joaquin commented  “About 12 men on the field, baseball players must be smarter than NFL players, as they never have ‘too many men on the field’”.

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Not unexpected, but still sorry to hear of the death of Stuart Scott. Presumably if they’re watching the NFL playoffs in Heaven, there will be some rousing choruses of “Booyah!

 

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“Taken 3” Really? Because even Liam Neeson can’t remember numbers 1 and 2?

 

 

2015 could be shaping up to be a fun year. Louie Gohmert is challenging John Boehner to be Speaker of the House. This is the Texas Rep. who talked about terrorist “anchor babies”, claimed the Obama administration was full of “Muslim Brotherhood members,” accused John McCain of conspiring with Al-Qaeda, and said “Jesus hates taxes.”

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Two men were arrested in New York for stealing over $10,000 of Crest White Strips. No details were immediately available about the men, but a pretty safe bet they weren’t British.

 

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You can’t make this “stuff” up: After “The Tablet” reported that the HarperCollins Atlas of the Middle East omitted Israel, the company says it will remove the books from shelves and destroy all copies. HarperCollins said the omission was due to “local preferences” as the book was primarily sold in the Gulf Region.

“Local preferences?” Can just imagine what fun we could have in red and blue states with that standard.

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Toledo beat Arkansas State 63-44 in the ‪#‎GoDaddyBowl‬. Shocking. Who knew Toledo and Arkansas State had football teams?

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Dog-gone?

January 4, 2015

Sarah Palin, in response to criticism over her posting a picture of her six year-old son using the family Labrador retriever as a step-stool. “”Chill, At least Trig didn’t eat the dog.” Didn’t realize that was an option.

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Kobe Bryant said that he thinks European basketball players “are just way more skillful, They are just taught the game the right way at an early age. ..We really have to address that. We have to teach our kids to play the right way.”

Wouldn’t it be nice if there were an option for players in the U.S like some years of college..

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In Arkansas, a group known as the Knights, formerly “the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan”, bought a billboard promoting “whiteprideradio.com.” What, they were upset about Florida getting all the headlines?

 

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Not a big Ravens fan, but having a very hard time seeing how any woman can root for Ben Rothlisberger. Or any man with daughters.‪#‎BALvsPIT‬

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The Ravens did survive a 12 men on the field penalty during a Steelers field goal attempt.  And they made the mistake another time that the officials didn’t catch. Who says football players don’t need to take math classes?

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Meanwhile, nomination for NFL Understatement of the year?. Cam Newton, on the Panthers’ win “It wasn’t pretty at times.”

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Only thing worse than the Panthers and Cardinals teams’ play in their NFL playoff game were all the ambulance-chasing lawyers ads during breaks.

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Happiest people not in Charlotte watching Cardinals-Panthers game had to be the Seahawks and Packers. both praying they get to play the winner.

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That Georgia police chief is now saying he shot his wife in his sleep. And Oscar Pistorius is going “Why didn’t I think of that?”

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Mike Huckabee is leaving Fox News while he decides whether or not to run for President again. But viewers can look forward to his return, as soon as the former Arkansas governor is eliminated in the primaries.

 

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Some grumbling over President Obama having a couple expensive dinners in Hawaii, one at a private club and another at NOBU. Of course, had the Obamas gone to a reasonably priced restaurant or a casual chain the same folks would have complained about him ruining dinner plans for average Americans.

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From T.C. The SEC announces its two newest schools. SEC West welcomes Oregon and SEC East Ohio St.

 

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No means no taunts?

January 3, 2015

Oregon football players will be “disciplined internally” for their “No means no” chant after the Ducks’ Rose Bowl win. Well, good to see football is sending a strong message to its stars. We’ll cut you some slack on alleged sexual assaults. But don’t even think about taunting alleged rapists.

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After the big New Year’s Day bowls including playoffs,  Friday’s games were the Armed Forces, Taxslayer, Alamo and Cactus Bowls. About as attractive to most fans as following the Super Bowl with the Pro Bowl.

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Speaking of attractive, reports from North Korea that a Workers’ Party official has married Kim Jong-un’s little sister. And you think it kills you to be around YOUR in-laws?

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A Georgia woman remains in critical condition, after her police chief husband called 911 on New Year’s Day to say he’d “accidentally'” shot her twice. , But he had actually only shot her once. So the other time he “accidentally” missed?

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Going to be below freezing for two nights in a row in Northern California. Makes sense, a number of conservative Southerners thought it would be a cold day in hell when neither an SEC or ACC team was in the college football national championship.

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Under the old BCS system, FSU and Alabama would have almost certainly played for the National championship, while OSU and Oregon would have played for a #3 ranking in the Rose Bowl. So how long will it take the SEC to call for a “return to tradition.”?

 

 

UCLA against #11 Kansas State, continued a ‪#‎Pac12‬ trend of showing the Eastern Sports Programming Network ‪#‎ESPN‬ what they’ve been missing all year.

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Washington looked so bad in ‪#‎CactusBowl‬ against Oklahoma State the Huskies have just been named honorary member of SEC West.

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Bummer, Donna Douglas, who played Elly May on the “Beverly Hillbillies” has died. Stewed squirrel on the menu in Heaven tonight!

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Harry Reid, 75, was exercising when an elastic band on a piece of equipment broke. The senator then fell and broke “a number of ribs and bones in his face.” And millions of Americans are now tearing up their New Year’s resolutions because they’re WAY too dangerous.

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-A man and woman were trapped in a closet for two days until police rescued them. And then they found out the closet wasn’t actually locked. You guessed it, Florida (If only they had been armed.)

 

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Apparently Carmelo Anthony, struggling with a knee injury, might shut it down for the remainder of the season. Only about 30 games later than the rest of the Knicks.

 

As we approach Wild Card Weekend…. Bill Littlejohn, on Ndamakong Suh winning his suspension appeal by saying that his feet were numb and that he didn’t know that he was stepping on Aaron Rodgers.So I guess we call the incident ‘Numb and Numb-er’

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God bless America. A U.S. District Judge ruled that Florida must start issuing same-sex marriage licenses next week. And clerks in at least five counties say they’ll end courthouse weddings for EVERYONE to avoid the order. Since it’s Florida, wonder how much it would help if gay couples wanting to marry showed up with guns?

 

 

And while the internet is back up (just, which is how this was posted),  Who’d a thunk I’d ever write this in 2015? Comcast has been down for over nine hours in Palo Alto. Fortunately I’m not cut off because I have a Blackberry. ‪#‎happydinosaur‬

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This picture might be worth 2,000 words.

January 2, 2015

As tweeted by Danny Nanell    “The SEC Programming Network tomorrow.”

 

sec

 

For the first time since 2005, there will be no ‪#‎SEC‬ team in the BCS National Championship. No punch line, I just like writing it.

 

 

Children in Africa tonight will be rejoicing over a shipment of brand new FSU vs. Alabama National Championship T-shirts.

 

 

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Many Florida State players refused to shake hands with Oregon players after the Rose Bowl samples. Maybe they were worried about giving possible DNA samples?

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Early in the 4th quarter,  ESPN said ‪#‎Oregon‬  was “executing.” Yep, execution was the right term. FSU was looking for a clemency call from the governor.. ‪#‎RoseBowl‬

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Good thing ‪#‎FSU‬ didn’t bring their 2013 BCS championship crystal trophy to the ‪#‎RoseBowl‬. They probably would have dropped it. ‪#‎OREvsFSU‬

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One Big Ten excuse in various Rose Bowls over the years is that Midwest teams have sometimes been distracted by a week in warm weather. Florida State might need to come up with a new one.

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As Lee Slice pointed out, the national championship is now – – the Rose Bowl.  (Big 10 vs. Pac 10/12)

 

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Like many, I had hard time deciding who to root against more? Nick Saban or Urban Meyer?    I think my son had it right, rooting for a 2nd half brawl that gets some players from the winning team suspended against Oregon.

(Of course, in retrospect, another reason to be happy about the OSU win, we know we won’t have to watch Alabama offensive coordinator Lane Kiffin on the sidelines.)

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Lewis Rudolph, 95, a co-founder of Krispy Kreme, has died. So presume instead of being embalmed he will be glazed?

 

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Undocumented immigrants can now get drivers licenses in California.  While there are some issues where good people can disagree as to whether this is a good or bad idea, there’s one absolutely good thing about it – undocumented immigrants can now also get car insurance in California.  #andnotliketheywerentgoingtodriveanyway

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Mario Cuomo has died at the age of 82. When it came to whether or not to run for President his decision-making abilities rivaled those of Brett Favre. But a very smart man, and one of the best political speakers of our time: “The American people need no course in philosophy or political science or church history to know that God should not be made into a celestial party chairman.”

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Let’s hope they don’t have to lower academic standards….

January 1, 2015

Looked last night like ‪#‎TCU‬ is just a little upset about being left out of the College Football playoff…

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And Wisconsin, the team that lost 59 to 0 against Ohio State just beat Auburn. Tell me again about SEC supremacy?

 

Defensive coordinator Jim Haslett is out at Washington. During his 5-year tenure, the defense has finished a collective 29th in the NFL total yards and 30th in points per game. Talk about a job opening where there’s nowhere to go but up.

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Gwyneth Paltrow, who “consciously uncoupled” from Chris Martin this year, now said in an interview “there are times when I think it would have been better if we had stayed married….” Two words for Gwyneth “nobody cares.”

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Ndamukong Suh won his suspension appeal for twice stepping on Aaron Rodgers by saying his feet were cold and numb, and he couldn’t tell the difference between the QB’s feet and the ground.. So while he plans this week’s excuse has someone warned Suh that Dallas has a retractable roof?

 

Rex Ryan is apparently on the 49ers interview list as a possible new head coach. So Christmas may not be over for San Francisco area comedy writers.

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Jed York doesn’t think the uncertain coaching situation all season with Jim Harbaugh was a distraction. So presume the reason that the 49ers are interviewing Rex Ryan is that York thinks the team might have performed better being distracted?

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In the Southern California mountains over 150 people were rescued when a snowstorm caught them in their cars. And in the East Coast and Midwest that sound you hear is giggling.

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Seattle DE Michael Bennett says that QB’s aren’t treated the same as other players. “If I get knocked to the ground, the referee just steps over me and says, ‘That’s part of the game.’ If Peyton Manning falls to the ground, the referee helps him get up. I thought everybody was equal, but that’s a lie.” And in related news, Bennett has just figured out that the Pope is Catholic?

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UNC says they have fired a professor after a report found fake classes allowed over 3,000 athletes to inflate their GPS from 1993-2011. (She allegedly helped women’s basketball players enroll in the “courses”) Of course I am sure none of the other current faculty and athletic department had anything to do with this scandal. ‪#‎sarcasm‬

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John McCain, who was censured by the Arizona GOP last year for being “insufficiently conservative” is apparently purging Tea Party opponents from state party offices. Every once in a while McCain reminds me of why I used to like him.

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In Peachtree City, Georgia a woman is in critical condition and her police chief husband is on leave after he says he accidentally shot her twice. Bringing up the question again “How do you stop a good guy with a gun?”

(As my friend Jim Barach asked ?  “ccidentally” shot her twice? I guess he thought he missed with the first accident…”)

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Chick-fil-A has reported a credit card breach at some of their restaurants. Okay, the sandwiches start at $3. Who uses a credit card at Chick-fil-A?

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Three people were injured outside the Rose Bowl on New Year’s Eve when winds uprooted pop-up tents outside the stadium. And Stanford and USC fans alike could unite in thanking their teams for not putting them in that position.

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Idina Menzel missed some high notes during her performance of “Let it Go” on Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve in Times Square last night. Of course the wind chill made it 15 degrees. Who knew “Frozen” would turn out to be a documentary?

 

#‎RoseBowl‬ viewers who have never watched Oregon play before have to wonder, where do the ‪#‎Ducks‬ plug in their uniforms?

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Happy New Year…

January 1, 2015

Another post will follow New Year’s afternoon.  But for now, while this is not my original thought,  it is still my favorite for this time of year.

 

“May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s Resolutions.”

 

 

P.S. Pitchers and catchers report in 50 days.

 

 

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Candlestick Park South?

December 31, 2014

 

For the opening kickoff of the first Foster Farms Bowl, the wind blew the football off the tee repeatedly so Maryland had to use a holder.   They can take the 49ers out of Candlestick, but they can’t take the Candlestick out of their field.

 

fosterfarms

 

 

Game time temperature at Levi’s Stadium 45 degrees with wind gusts up to 40mph. Maybe it wasn’t a great idea to have a bowl sponsor with a major product of frozen food. ‪#‎FosterFarmsBowl

 

 

VTA Light Rail announcement tonight at each stop on the way to Levi’s stadium. “Look both ways before crossing tracks.”. Might be more effective to say “Trains use both tracks. Please have your organ donor card available”.

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The Lion’s Ndamukong Suh won his appeal and will play Sunday after his one-game suspension was changed to a $70,000 fine. Bonus time for the NFL, as they get the money from his fine plus higher rates as people tune in to see which Cowboy Suh is planning to stomp now.

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Nick Saban said today he’s “not really interested in any situation in the NFL.” Makes sense, the Alabama coach is making plenty of money, and he already gets to deal with professional players, who will be gone after a maximum of four years.

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Maryland beat Michigan in football this year 23 to 16. Stanford probably calling Harbaugh tonight to see if Jim wants to schedule a game.

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Texas A&M fired student assistant coach Michael Richardson after he hit two West Virginia players during the Liberty Bowl. Richardson may, however, be offered a tryout with the Oakland Raiders defense.

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At a Idaho Wal-Mart, a 2-year-old boy shot and killed his mother when he reached into her purse where she was carrying a concealed gun and the weapon fired. If only the woman had been armed. Oops, wait, never mind.

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A thought about this toddler who shot and killed his mom with her own gun at Walmart. That woman wouldn’t have been allowed to drive the kid to the store without a carseat. But a loaded gun with the safety off, no problem. ‪#‎noanticarsafetylobby‬ ‪#‎priorities‬

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Jim Harbaugh has a seven year contract at Michigan. Seven years?! And they said it with a straight face.

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Groupon is selling a “49ers field experience” where during the first five weeks of 2015, you’ll be able to enter Levi’s Stadium and run around on the field and play with a football. And if you can get along with Jed York, maybe the team will offer you a coaching position.

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How social media can make you feel really out of touch. The #1 trending story on FB this morning is “Giada De Laurentiis announces divorce.” And my #1 reaction was “Who?”

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Kim Kardashian claims she doesn’t smile often because it causes wrinkles. Got news for Kim, people aren’t looking at her face

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Mistakes were made.

December 30, 2014

Oops, the Detroit Free Press printed a Jim Harbaugh to UM story on their cover. Except they used a picture of JOHN Harbaugh. Well, okay, they used a photo of the wrong brother. Many Americans think in 2000 we elected the wrong brother as our President.

 

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Two men were arrested today after a nearly 3 hour police chase that started when they stole San Francisco Chronicle newspaper delivery truck. Many are wondering, “What’s the value of stealing a newspaper delivery truck?” Still more are wondering “Who knew they still delivered newspapers?

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The NY Jets fired coach Rex Ryan and GM John Idzik. Owner Woody Johnson said he has already reached out to potential candidates. Wonder if he called the NTSB (National Transportation Safety Board). They have experience dealing with train wrecks.

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Ndamukong Suh was suspended for the Lions’ playoff game for stepping on Aaron Rodgers’ leg. Suh is appealing, saying it was unintentional, and besides he knows millions of Americans were hoping he would step on Tony Romo.

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Lane Kiffin, now offensive coordinator at Alabama, said he “definitely” plans on returning to the Crimson Tide for a second season. Translation, “unless I get a better offer.”

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Texas A&M played West Virginia, and Oklahoma played Clemson Monday. In two of the bigger “We-expected-a-much-better-season” bowls.

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The 6-10 Atlanta Falcons fired coach Mike Smith. What? After the team came only one game from making the playoffs…..

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Not saying that it wasn’t time for Jim Harbaugh to move on from SF. As three years seems to be about his shelf life. But can we name a top football coach who doesn’t have a least a somewhat arrogant and irritating personality? Or any former top coach for that matter?

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Bus to hell time: Reports indicate that debris from “a red and white plane” which is likely the missing Air Asia jet has been spotted.  Sad news for families, and for CNN, as the network had been hoping the plane would be lost for at least a week.

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Meanwhile, over at Fox News, co-host Anna Kooiman suggested that the metric system could be to blame at Air Asia. “Even when we think about temperature, it’s Fahrenheit or Celsius, it’s kilometers or miles. You know, everything about their training could be similar, but different.” And when an FAA expert a bigger difference was foreign pilots’ greater reliance on autopilot, she responded “It’s not just a difference in the way that we measure things? Is it not as safe in that part of the world?”

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Spectacular. By suing a 22 year old kid with a website, Skiplagged.com, that probably wasn’t going anywhere, United and Orbitz have taken “hidden-city ticketing” from an odd and limited strategy that only some travel agents and frequent fliers knew about, to a trending item on social media.

(Basically the idea is simple. If a nonstop flight is expensive between two cities, book a connecting flight on to a cheaper city and then get off the plane. For example, SF to Houston is expensive, so book a ticket SF via Houston to Orlando. But you can’t check bags, and if you put in your mileage number they track the no-show so you can’t get miles, and it only works one-way at a time.  For starters. Still, thanks to the lawsuit and publicity, millions of people have now been turned onto the concept.

 

C.C. Sabathia apparently came unglued at Newark Airport this past weekend when he and 11 friends, all booked in first class, showed up 15 minutes before departure for a flight to Jamaica, and United told him he had no chance to make it through security in time. On brighter notes, no arrests were made, and a lot of people who thought they had had no chance for a upgrade suddenly got lucky.

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Going blue

December 29, 2014

Many SF 49ers fans were disappointed with this season, and now they won’t have Jim Harbaugh to kick around anymore. So soon the team can go back to the halcyon days of Mike Singletary and Mike Nolan.

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Statement from the SF 49ers: “Jim and I have come to the conclusion that it is in our mutual best interest to move in different directions.” Well, it sounds better than “conscious uncoupling.”

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There will be a lot of changes for Jim Harbaugh as he returns to the coaching ranks. For starters, at Michigan he’s going to have to figure out something warmer  (and blue-er) than his regular long-sleeved black shirt.

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More than 100 people gathered in Times Square today for the eighth annual Good Riddance Day. Where attendees used a shredder and mallet to get rid of bad memories. Wonder how many showed up with NY Giants and Jets stuff?

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Apparently a contributing factor, if not the reason, for Josh Gordon’s suspension, was a party Johnny Manziel threw Friday night. (Gordon was then AWOL for the team’s Saturday walk-through.) Who says Johnny Football isn’t a leader already?

 

Cleveland owner Jimmy Haslam said some of the Browns’ young players have “disrespected” the team. “We’re going to work with them — hopefully they grow up. But if they can’t grow up and they can’t be responsible to the their teammates and the coaches and our great fans, then they won’t be with the Cleveland Browns.” So anyone want to take the first guess in the “Johnny Manziel trade date” pool?

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This weekend police were called and arrests were made over fights in food courts at three separate malls, Arden Fair in Sacramento, Chicago Ridge Mall in Illinois and Opry Mills in Nashville. So what the heck are those food courts serving?

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How up-to-date is Al-Qaeda? Their most recent magazine, released last week, called for individual jihadists to bomb Western carriers. Including United Airlines, American, Delta, and Continental.

 

Headline on Foxnews.com “Attention: Dish has blocked Fox News. Switch TV providers now. ” Hmm…. So how long until Dish starts using that headline as an ad on Msnbc.com and Huffington Post etc?

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No real surprise at this point, Jeb Bush leads a new GOP presidential poll with 23%. Christie is second at 13% and Ben Carson has 7%. I think I speak for many Americans when I say about Carson – “Who?”

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So the NFL is running their ad “Domestic violence and sexual assault are  tough for everyone to talk about” in game with Ben Rothlisberger leading Steelers into playoffs ‪#‎irony‬

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From T.C.  “I just hacked into Sony Pictures computers and found a movie to be released on Monday. It’s about NFL coaching brothers Rex and Rob called “Saving Ryan’s Privates”.

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Bowling along.

December 28, 2014

When it comes to sports, in many ways hate has it all over love. Because the teams you love can suck, but there’s still always plenty of opportunity to root against the teams you hate.  (especially during Bowl season.)

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As of very late Saturday night on the West Coast,  an AirAsia jet is missing on its way from Surabaya, Indonesia to Singapore, and an Italian ferry with over 400 people on board is on fire in the Adriatic sea. Potential tragedies in both cases, but for CNN, this is hitting the daily double.

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Michigan governor Rick Snyder has signed a “suspicion-based” drug testing bill for welfare recipients. Hmm, can we expand this to elected officials and candidates? Because some of them sure act like they’re on drugs.

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Chicago’s Starlin Castro was questioned by Dominican Republic police in connection with a shooting at a nightclub this morning, after the Cubs shortstop was questioned earlier this month for ANOTHER nightclub shooting. Who does Castro think he is, an NFL player?

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The NFL fined Marshawn Lynch $11,500 for an obscene gesture during last Sunday’s game. Wonder how much they’ll fine the ‪#‎NYJets‬ for their obscene performance all season?

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Anyone but me thinking that ‪#‎Marchmadness‬ pools are going to be rather forgone conclusions this year? ‪#‎raceforsecond‬ ‪#‎Kentucky‬

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Jim Harbaugh is expected to sign on as the coach at Michigan. So time to start two pools. 1. How long until the Wolverines win a Rose Bowl? 2. What percentage of Harbaugh’s contract will he last in Ann Arbor?

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So now we are likely to have Jim Harbaugh at Michigan vs. Urban Meyer at OSU Stand by for ‪#‎Whatsyourdeal‬ – the sequel.

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A new study found that marijuana use has increased in Colorado. Did the survey also find that water is wet?

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According to ESPN Rex Ryan “expects to be” fired by the Jets. Shouldn’t the correct verb be “hopes to be?”

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The Browns suspended WR Josh Gordon for Sunday’s season finale. Thereby increasing the odds that no one outside of Cleveland will be able to name a single active player on the team.

 

Johnny Manziel, who is on IR, had to either be present for the Browns’ workout Saturday or be getting treatment. But he was AWOL. And later in the day, Cleveland gave the QB his first fine. So congrats to all who had Dec 27 in the pool.

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North Korea, angry over “The Interview,” now referred to President Obama. Is the country trying to curry favor with Fox News?

 

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Magic moments.

December 26, 2014

For ‪#‎SFGiants‬ fans, whatever anyone else says, the sports moment of the year had to be Madison Bumgarner coming out out of the cornfields, uh, bullpen, in game 7.

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It’s our “patriotic duty’ to see “The Interview?.” And all around Hollywood major studios are wondering, how do we get hacked?

 

Silver lining thought of the day. Odell Beckham Jr.s’ catch was the play of the year on ESPN. But the catch never would have been noticed had Eli Manning thrown the ball a little better.

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Doug Fister may have given everyone a holiday coffee. But the Knicks gave anyone who turned into their game a holiday turkey.

 

 

On Christmas Day,  a baby was born on the Philadelphia subway. Out of habit. Eagles fans booed it.

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Sacrilegious thought of the day.  If Joseph and Mary had used a better travel agent, the Christmas story might have been very different.

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Guess North Korea is more powerful than we thought. They turned a dud of a movie into a hit. ‪#‎theinterview‬

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Rice (8-5) beat Fresno State (6-8) in the Hawaii Bowl. Not to say it was all about location but assume that even when the families and friends of players who flew out were asked about the game their answer might have been “there was a game?”

 

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New Orleans LB Curtis Lofton spoke out in favor of defensive coordinator Rob Ryan, saying “We all love Rob and we’d run through a wall for him. Forget the wall, Saints fans just wish the team had run through a few more opposing offensive linemen.

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From T.C.   “The football coach at U. of Mississippi is proud of his team’s 2.57 GPA.   Which is curiously about the same as Johnny Manziel’s quarterback rating in Cleveland.”

 

The University of Mississippi football team has a 2.57 GPA.   And in the rest of the SEC, they’re asking their coach “what does. 57 mean?”

 

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From Alex Kaseberg:   “In the beginning of December, former Baltimore Raven and fiancé elevator slugger, Ray Rice, had his suspension lifted and was eligible to be signed by any team. In poetic irony, no team took a shot at Ray. “

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Merry Christmas everyone

December 25, 2014

 

Merry Christmas. In the “no new is good news category” there are no reports this morning of a heavy-set man in red being shot and killed while trying to break into a house through the chimney.

 

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The actual beginning of “White Christmas” is “The sun is shining, the grass is green, the orange and palm trees sway. There’s never been such a day. In Beverly Hills LA. But it’s December the 24th. And I’m longing to be up north.”. And a bunch of folks up north and in the midwest and east are calling bullsh*t

 

A passenger was tossed off an American Airlines flight yesterday after he flipped out when two flight attendants wished him Merry Christmas. Apparently after he first started screaming ” Not everyone celebrates Christmas.”

 

Guess someone is now on the naughty list.

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Not that I am a “spare the rod, spoil the child” type, but it does strike me that these days too many parents view the “naughty” or “nice” Santa choice as overly stifling to their children’s spirit and creativity. ‪#‎spoiledbrats‬

 

Great moment in parenting from Alex Kaseberg:

“Me last night: “We forgot to name the Christmas tree.”

(his teen daughter)  Ann Caroline: “How about Tom Cruise?”

Me: “Why?”

Ann Caroline: “Because it’s not straight.”

(Sniff) I am so proud.”

 

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Wonder how many cheap parents are telling their kids that Santa got delayed by weather and air traffic control , and are waiting to buy all their presents at the after-Christmas sales?

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Doug Fister posted a Starbucks gift card code for his twitter followers and told everyone to have a Christmas cup of coffee on him. Really nice of him. But now you KNOW baseball players are overpaid, if they can afford thousands of cups of Starbucks coffee.

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Brad Pitt and Angelina’s daughter Shiloh now wants to go by the name “John.” What’s odder, that the girl wants a boy’s name? Or that a celebrity child wants a normal name.

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Michael Sam said in an interview that closeted men in the league contacted him to give their gratitude and respect after he came out. Of course, if some of those other men, in the NFL and other leagues would follow, we’d be closer to this all being a non-story.

 

Finally, seriously, merry Christmas – or happy whatever you celebrate – to all my readers.   You are the reason I write and I hope this blog has brightened your day or days over the year!

 

(And for the jokes you don’t think are funny or don’t agree with the politics, thank you for sticking with me.   I think the world would be a better place if we all were a little better at civil disagreement.)

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Testing, testing.

December 24, 2014

 

Turns out North Korean internet wasn’t really hacked. Kim Jong Un just tried to switch the whole country over to AOL.

 

 

Sony now says they will release “The Interview” in 300 theaters. Wonder how long it will take before North Korea demands a share of the profits.

 

Manti Te’o said the SF 49er’s Anthony Davis was giving him a hard time about his imaginary girlfriend last weekend’ He told a reporter that he expected it last year but “this year?” Find a new joke.'” Uh, this year apparently that joke is the 49ers.

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Jamaica is going to introduce automatic kiosks for tourists entering the country, so they won’t have to talk to an immigration officer. Makes sense, who expects tourists to smuggle something INTO Jamaica.

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Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie say their daughter Shiloh now wants to be called “John.”  What’s odder, that she wants a boy’s name.  Or that a celebrity child actually wants a NORMAL name.

 

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Weird for current NBA fans to see the Golden State Warriors to fall to the Lakers.  Even weirder, for longtime Warriors and Lakers fan that this year  it might have been considered a “trap game.”

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Lots of NBA games on Christmas day, and the league expects good ratings. Not that any NBA games really matter in December, but hey, any excuse for many people to stop talking to their relatives.

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Why there is no satire. U.S. Rep. Michael Grimm pleaded guilty to federal tax evasion. Grimm serves on the House Committee on Financial Services…..

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Hawaii is expecting a White Christmas with an actual snow blizzard on Mauna Kea. Okay, this one we can definitely blame on Obama.

 

 

Much sympathy for the family of ‪#‎AntonioMartin‬. But these days it doesn’t matter what color you are, it is a REALLY REALLY bad idea to raise a gun to a police officer.

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Kim Jong Uh-oh

December 23, 2014

North Korea is recovering from a countrywide internet outage. So someone found the plug and plugged it back in?

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North Korea’s internet was completely down for most of a day. Is this the Circular Firing Squad theory of hacking?

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Four inteceptions last night. Who did Peyton Manning think he was? Eli?

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Damn. Joe Cocker has died. His voice will always be so beautiful to me. ‪#‎nowIfeelold‬

 

We expected the rock stars from our youth to die of things like drug overdoses and various crashes. Not ready for them to die of things related to getting older.

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Only good thing about the Ravens and 49ers recent play. Won’t be any playoff tension in the Harbaugh family this January.

 

Kourtney Kardashian has named her new son “Reign.” William and Kate please come back. We need a real royal family.

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“Reign” huh, well at least the Kardashians have plenty of money for future therapy..

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Apparently a recent poll of Americans under 30 found that only 29 percent mail Christmas cards. And no doubt 21 percent said “What’s a Christmas card? And 50 percent said “What’s mail?”

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Only 367 shopping days until Christmas 2016. ‪#‎enoughsalesalready‬

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Forget March Madness. The real challenge is picking all the NCAA Bowl game winners. Heck. It would be hard enough to name all the bowls.

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A sad unintended consequence of Kindles etc: a generation will grow up without the vacation experience of brief bonding over books. “Oh that’s a great read.”. “Have you read…?” “What do you think of that book?

 

A Southwest Airlines flight clipped the wing of an American Airlines plane on the tarmac at LaGuardia. No injuries. But presumably that’s the end of Holiday Happy Hour for pilots.

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(But hey,  suppose it was bound to happen now that budget cuts have forced most schools to eliminate Driver’s Ed.)

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Apparently the guy who ambushed and shot two NYPD cops had tried unsuccessfully to hang himself last year. That’s one of many problems with guns – you don’t even need to be competent to kill

 

6.4 million have signed up for Obamacare, and the stock market closed over 18,000. Time for the GOP to have another hearing on Benghazi.

 

 

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Called strikes?

December 22, 2014

North Korea is now threatening to strike “the whole US mainland” over “The Interview.” Wonder if President Obama has sent them a map highlighting red states?

(my friend Scott R. says  “Cities with NBA teams are safe.”)

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The Oakland Raiders have really blown their chance for the #1 draft pick. Just as well. They usually blow the pick when they get it anyway.

 

North Korea is now accusing the U.S. government of being behind the making of the movie “The Interview.” Really, if it hadn’t been for all this controversy most people in the U.S. government might not have even HEARD of the movie.

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So apparently at FSU they have decided Jameis Winston is not guilty of code of conduct violations. Wonder what the verdict would have been had the ‘Noles lost to Notre Dame.

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Well, the Saints richly deserved eliminated today. All of a sudden this year their road to home scoring performance started approximating that of Bill Clinton.

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David Shaw says he will stay at Stanford, despite what ESPN said is “major interest” from the NFL. Uh, did any of these teams watch Stanford’s first 10 games?

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So for all those who thought there wouldn’t be a royal wedding in Britain this year, Elton John just married his longtime partner David Furnish. ‪#‎Congratulations‬ ‪#‎GodsavetheQueen‬

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This year it’s looking increasingly like the 49ers “Who’s got it better than us” is referring to draft picks.

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Stanford in the Foster Farms Bowl may outdraw the SF 49ers Saturday night.

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More from Saturday night.  To update the old children’s version of a Christmas carol: Jingle Bells, Batman smells, the Eagles laid an egg.

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In Britain, the last Saturday before Christmas for shopping, was called “Panic Saturday.”. And in the USA they’re trying to figure out how to turn the day into a shopping event next year.

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Protesters against police brutality have apparently filled up Mall of America. Probably they figure violence around the holidays should be confined to between shoppers at after-Christmas sales.

 

Kudos to Gwen. And sorry, anyone who loots or commits violence against innocent people is not helping, they are contributing to the danger black men are in in this country. “Anyone who is standing with us, we want you to not use Eric Garner’s name for violence because we are not about that,” Gwen Carr, Garner’s mother.

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Threats and counterthreats

December 20, 2014

North Korea wants to investigate the Sony cyberattack jointly with the U.S. and has threatened “serious consequences” if we refuse their offer. So will Obama’s counter demand to set the hackers loose on FOX News?

(and to be bipartisan about this joke, followed by MSNBC.)

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University of Florida QB Treon was arrested for allegedly driving a car without a license, and apparently he has never had a driver’s license. Makes sense, passing the test is probably a lot harder than getting into Florida.

 

Why there is no satire. Doug Amos, a local sports-talk radio host about the first ever Camellia Bowl tonight in Montgomery, Alabama between Bowling Green and South Alabama. “I thinks it’s going to be the biggest event Montgomery has ever seen. ‪#‎yeshedid‬ ‪#‎facepalm‬

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Texas A&M has lost their top defensive football commitment. DT Daylon Mack, ranked as the #11 high school prospect by ESPN, says he has decommitted from the Aggies, and now may end up at LSU. Where no doubt if he doesn’t get enough playing time he will grumble about broken promises.

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University of Florida QB Treon was arrested for allegedly driving a car without a license, and apparently he has never had a driver’s license. Makes sense, passing the test is probably a lot harder than getting into Florida.

 

Roger Goodell told the Chargers, Rams and Raiders — each of whom thought they could file relocation applications for the 2015 season starting Jan. 1, that the earliest any team could move to Los Angeles  would be 2016.   And LA fans who watched the Raiders this year are thinking “Well, we dodged one bullet.”

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George Clooney has come out with a petition asking Sony to release “The Interview” and to stand up to extortion. Meaning two things: 1. George has the courage of his convictions. 2. He hasn’t written anything embarrassing in an email.

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NBA commissioner Adam Silver said in an interview that tanking is really a myth: “I absolutely don’t think any team is trying to lose.” So when did the commissioner get his prescription for medical marijuana?

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Khloe Kardashian has now apparently been linked to former Stanford and current NBA Robin Lopez. If true, we can title this one as a chapter of “Smart Men, Really Foolish Choices.”

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Michael Vick says he thinks Jameis Winston could be the NFL’s next big star. Well, the FSU QB has already gotten his first arrests out of the way..

 

 

from Marc Ragovin  “The Federal Communications Commission has rejected a petition requesting that a Washington-area radio station be banned from using the word “Redskins” over the air because the name isn’t indecent. Guess the commissioners haven’t watched Washington game this year.”

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Hack a thon.

December 19, 2014

President Obama said he thinks Sony “made a mistake” in yanking “The Interview.” Adding “We cannot have a society in which some dictator someplace can start imposing censorship here in the United States.” Yeah, we’ll leave that to nutcases on local school boards.

 

 

A lot of studios are upset by the Sony hacking and resulting cancelled premiere of “The Interview.” Universal Studios is most upset that North Korea didn’t hack “47 Ronin.”

 

GOP Sen Mark Kirk of lllinois says he is going to have a fundraiser during a screening of the “The Interview” Proving the power of the North Korean hackers – they have actually caused a Seth Rogen movie to be used for a Republican fundraiser.

As my friend Joe C says “Wow. Does Satan need an ice pick? Snowblower? Ice skates”

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Outgoing MLB commissioner Bud Selig will be paid $6 million annually in retirement. Makes sense, baseball is the one sport that specializes in long-term guaranteed contracts to people who have long outlived their value.

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After back-to-back World Series, Jake Peavy is back with SF Giants. Did someone tell him this is an odd-numbered year?

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QB Jay Cutler said it has “crossed his mind” that he has played his final games with the Bears. But then presumably that thought was intercepted

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Only good thing about all these holiday e-cards from businesses you don’t really care about is that you can hit delete instead of tossing them in the recycling bin.

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At this point wouldn’t it be faster to hear from the models and actresses who worked with Bill Cosby and don’t claim to have been sexually assaulted by him?

 

Staples has just announced that over a million customer cards have been compromised by hackers this fall. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea for the chain to change their slogan in 2014 to “Make More Happen”?

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Sometimes in the U.S. we think we have a monopoly on sexist a**holes in political office. But tonight I give you, Brazil. Where during a debate on sexual violence, opposition congressman Jair Bolsonaro told congresswoman Maria do Rosario Nunes he would not rape her “because she was not worth it.”

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The ‪#‎LADodgers‬ may not have won the World Series, but they do have the new title – MLB’s biggest spenders, with a 2014 payroll of $257,283,41. ‪#‎Youdontalwaysgetwhatyoupayfor‬

 

 

From Bill Littlejohn : They couldn’t stop the Thursday night game between the 2-12 Jaguars and the 2-12 Titans from being shown on national TV?Where are those North Korean ‘The Interview’ hackers now that they’re really needed?’

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R.E.S.P.E.C.T

December 18, 2014

 

The times they are a changin’. The President of Cuba said Wednesday that “‘President Obama deserves respect and recognition”. Right now you’d never get that statement from a majority of the U.S. Congress.

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Neal suggests “Future MLB schedule: San Francisco at Havana, Havana at Los Angeles.”

 

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You can tell it’s getting close to Christmas. All the email ads saying “last day for free delivery” have been replaced by “last day for extended free priority delivery.”

To be followed soon no doubt by  “last day for free upgraded 2nd Day Fed Exp delivery.”

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Craig Ferguson is leaving the “Late Late Show.” Responded most Americans – “Who’s Craig Ferguson?”

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Chicago coach Mark Trestman says he is starting QB Jimmy Clausen over Jay Cutler because “We need a spark.” And Bears fans who watched the Monday Night Football game are thinking “Need a ‘spark’? More like a bonfire.”

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The Bears have benched Jay Cutler and there are rumors they are trying to trade him. And NYJets fans are thinking “NOOOOOOOOOOOO.”

 

 

TC on Jay Cutler  “Not to be outdone by Johnny Football’s brutal performance, the Bears’ Jay Cutler trumped Johnny with his horrendous showing on Monday night. The only bright spot was, “Teacher says every time Cutler throws a pick, an angel gets their wings!”

Cutler should try to become a multi-sport athlete. He could play for the Bulls, where no look passes are considered a skill.

 

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Multimillionaire Sant Singh Chatwal was sentenced Thursday to probation, a $500,000 fine and 1,000 hours of community service for making $180.000 in illegal campaign contributions to candidates, including Hillary Clinton. Prosecutors had wanted jail time, which makes some sense. With all the loopholes these days seems like jail is appropriate if for no other reason than still being stupid enough to break one of the few remaining rules.

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I know we just announced this year’s winner. But can the Nobel committee just announce now that 2015 nominations are closed and the prize will go to Pope Francis?

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Sen. Rand Paul on Cuba today “The 50-year embargo just hasn’t worked. If the goal is regime change, it sure doesn’t seem to be working and probably it punishes the people more than the regime because the regime can blame the embargo for hardship. … In the end , I think opening up Cuba is probably a good idea.”

If Paul doesn’t stop he’s going to be thrown out of the GOP primary for making too much sense.

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