Posted tagged ‘referee jokes’

Passing through

January 6, 2015

TMZ reports that Johnny Manziel flipped off hecklers at a Houston club this weekend, and they responded by throwing drinks at him. Then the Cleveland rookie QB presumably tried to throw a drink back… but it was intercepted.

Both the Buckeyes and Ducks are wearing new uniforms for the Championship game next Monday, thanks to Nike. The company is paying Oregon $600,000 in cash and $2.2 million equipment allowance this year. And they are giving Ohio State $1.5 million in cash and $2.5 million in equipment. But heaven forbid a booster buy one of the players dinner.

New Orleans LB linebacker Junior Galette has been arrested on a domestic violence charge. Few details yet, but expect Galette will plead not guilty. After all he’s a Saints defender, they don’t hit anybody.

A unnamed member of the Ferguson grand jury that didn’t indict police officer Darrell Wilson for shooting Michael Brown has filed a lawsuit to remove a lifetime gag order about the case. Translation, someone wants a book deal.

Olivia Newton-John and Grease co-star Didi Conn (Frenchie) reunited for a performance in Las Vegas this week. Only now they were both singing “You might be the One That I Want, if I could remember.”

 

Apparently after Kanye West and Paul McCartney collaborated on a single, some of West’s fans tweeted “Who is Paul McCartney?” Won’t be too many years before music fans will ask “Who is Kanye West?”

Former Giants’ pitcher Stu Miller has died at the age of 87. There will be no pallbearers at his funeral, instead, his casket will just be placed on a mound and blown into the grave.

People will be talking about that pass interference reversal for decades, especially if the Cowboys go further in the playoffs. But whether it was the right call or not, does anyone think there was a snowball’s chance in hell a flag would have been picked up if it were on a Lions defender during Dallas’s last drive?

 
My friend Trevor commented, “Odd, Lions usually have no problem with the Zebras…”
 

Detroit Lions coach Jim Caldwell said the pass interference penalty that was taken away was “hard to swallow.” Agree with him, but also hard to swallow when you choke with a 4th and 1 AND a 10 yard punt.

Chris Christie was shown celebrating yesterday in Jerry Jones’ box. But he missed on a high five with Jones. Either that or the Dallas Cowboys’ owner was just trying to stay out of the way of a offensive lineman sized hit.

Oil has fallen below $50 a barrel. So no doubt the airlines will be lowering fuel surcharges that in some cases are more than the cost of the fare itself. At the same time they start putting pigs on board every flight.

 

Got to give ‪#‎TheBachelor‬ credit. One episode is enough to make many people question why they ever wanted to defend heterosexual marriage.

Jeb Bush said yesterday that gay marriage should be “a state decision.” Right, like driver’s licenses for illegal immigrants, abortion and legalized marijuana

 

Two police officers were shot tonight in the Bronx. But fortunately reports are neither sustained life-threatening injuries. Also fortunately, reports are neither of the suspects is black.

To flag or not to flag?

January 5, 2015

Refs not only picked up a flag for Dallas tonight, they turned millions of fans, casual and otherwise, into certified Cheesehead Green Bay Packers fans next weekend

 

Okay, let’s be honest here. Other factors beyond the “tuck rule” – including the overtime rule at the time, which meant the Raiders never had the ball after they lost the coin toss – contributed to Oakland’s 2002 loss to New England. And Detroit made plenty of mistakes today against Dallas. But it was still a chickensh*t move to call a penalty and pick up the flag. Especially when the NFL needs all the integrity it can get. ‪#‎ImtalkingaboutyouGoodell‬

The SEC is thinking that if they had ‪#‎DETvsDAL‬ referees in the ‪#‎SugarBowl‬, ‪#‎Alabama‬ would be playing for the national championship next week.

All is explained. Refs looked in ‪#‎Dallas‬ owner ‪#‎JerryJones‬‘ box & realized they needed to cross bridges to get home ‪#‎DETvsDAL‬ ‪#‎ChrisChristie‬

Since CBS has the Bengals-Colts game, after ESPN’s pre-game show on the NFL playoffs, the network shifted over to the PBA Scorpion Bowling Championship. Wouldn’t it been cheaper with similar ratings to have run a test pattern?

Thinking David Shaw at Stanford did a better job of containing Andrew Luck than many NFL defenses are doing.

 

Meanwhile, going to be tough for the SF 49ers, finding a coach who is smart enough to lead the team back to the playoffs, and still dumb enough to think Jed York knows what he’s doing.

 

Nice win Saturday for the Ravens, but afterwards coach John Harbaugh declared Joe Flacco “the best quarterback in football.” With all due respect, and I like the guy, Flacco isn’t even the best QB in the AFC North.

Joaquin commented  “About 12 men on the field, baseball players must be smarter than NFL players, as they never have ‘too many men on the field’”.

Not unexpected, but still sorry to hear of the death of Stuart Scott. Presumably if they’re watching the NFL playoffs in Heaven, there will be some rousing choruses of “Booyah!

 

“Taken 3” Really? Because even Liam Neeson can’t remember numbers 1 and 2?

 

 

2015 could be shaping up to be a fun year. Louie Gohmert is challenging John Boehner to be Speaker of the House. This is the Texas Rep. who talked about terrorist “anchor babies”, claimed the Obama administration was full of “Muslim Brotherhood members,” accused John McCain of conspiring with Al-Qaeda, and said “Jesus hates taxes.”

Two men were arrested in New York for stealing over $10,000 of Crest White Strips. No details were immediately available about the men, but a pretty safe bet they weren’t British.

 

You can’t make this “stuff” up: After “The Tablet” reported that the HarperCollins Atlas of the Middle East omitted Israel, the company says it will remove the books from shelves and destroy all copies. HarperCollins said the omission was due to “local preferences” as the book was primarily sold in the Gulf Region.

“Local preferences?” Can just imagine what fun we could have in red and blue states with that standard.

 

Toledo beat Arkansas State 63-44 in the ‪#‎GoDaddyBowl‬. Shocking. Who knew Toledo and Arkansas State had football teams?

Snow place like home field?

December 9, 2013

NFL powers that be have to be wincing at all these awful games played in wintry weather today. Good thing it never snows in New Jersey in February.

 

Urban Meyer and his Ohio State Buckeyes have to be really disappointed that they aren’t heading to Pasadena. That Alamo Bowl swag just doesn’t sell for as high a price as the Rose Bowl stuff does.

 

After some of these calls recently, thinking maybe they fired the replacement refs because they were too good.

For those asking, how can that be pass interference on the #Browns? Easy, they violated 11th commandment. Thou shalt not stop St. Brady.

A near miracle in Pittsburgh. Had the Stanford band only been around to keep Antonio Brown in bounds.

Washington coach Mike Shanahan apparently quit at the end of the 2012 season. As opposed to his team who apparently quit soon after the beginning of this one.

The Redskins are becoming the NFL equivalent of one of those Big 10 or SEC scheduled cupcakes.

(Dinur Blum comments that Tennessee Chattanooga resents the comparison to the Redskins.)

Drew Brees has just gone over 50,000 yards with the #Saints. And in San Diego some Chargers fans are just sobbing.

(for non-NFL fans, the Chargers had Brees, but let him go in 2005 in favor of Philip Rivers.   And for that matter the Miami Dolphins passed on Drew too, thinking he wouldn’t come back from shoulder surgery.)

On a positive note…. assuming this little thing called New Jersey weather cooperates, a Super Bowl featuring Peyton Manning and Drew Brees would be really fun to watch. Two of the best and classiest QBs in football.

 

The 35 bowl matchups are out. But it’s just not the same without the Poulan Weed-Eater Independence Bowl.

USC will play Fresno State in the Royal Purple Las Vegas Bowl.  SC Offensive coordinator Clay Helton will coach,  since  interim coach Ed Orgeron quit after Steve Sarkisian was chosen to coach next year.

So if USC wins, Helton might go down in Trojan history as the program’s only undefeated coach.

A man trying to fly from Lafayette, Louisiana to California with a layover in Houston fell asleep on the first United Express flight, and woke up on a locked, empty plane after the flight crew had disembarked. Maybe he didn’t pay his “deboarding announcement” fee?

 

It was cold enough that the were expecting snow in Las Vegas this weekend. Maybe proving the rightness of those in the GOP who said Hell would freeze over before the Obamacare website started working.

Brett Favre’s been offensive coordinator for Oak Grove High School in Mississippi this year. And last night his team won the state title. So suppose we only have to wait about six months for Brett to decide if he’s coming back to coach next year.

Sad, but sounds like he’s in contention for a Darwin: 23 year-old college student in San Antonio Texas was fatally shot by a campus cop after he was pulled over for erratic driving and an altercation ensued. A witness said his last words were a sarcastic “Oh, you’re gonna shoot me?’ (Open note. Do not say those words in Texas, Florida, etc….)

The Royal not always known as Prince?

September 8, 2013

Prince Andrew was briefly stopped by Buckingham Palace police who didn’t recognize him on an evening walk through the gardens. Good thing this was England and not the U.S., so the Prince wasn’t accidentally shot.

A 107-year-old man was killed during a shootout with members of an Arkansas SWAT team last night. Sigh. Once again this is what happens when you have guns without parental responsibility.

Oracle Team USA has at least avoided a shutout in the America’s Cup by finally winning race 4. This is a tough one for many U.S. sports fans. With the natural inclination to cheer “USA USA” running directly into their natural hatred of Larry Ellison

 

115,109 fans watched the Wolverines beat the Fighting Irish last night at Michigan stadium. That’s  almost the average attendance of a couple of Tampa Bay Rays’ home stands.

Texas and USC, who played for the BCS National Championship in 2006, have both fallen out of the AP top 25 poll. Maybe they’re hoping for a rematch, in the Valero Alamo Bowl.

Wonder if anyone in the Green Bay Packers locker room made the mistake of saying before today’s game, “Well, at least this season we’re opening with refs who know the rule book?”

From T.C.   “Former NFL running back Ricky Williams is an asst coach for a college in San Antonio. Look for this team to run the Weed-Option offence.”

Mark Sanchez may have a torn labrum in his shoulder, which will not necessarily need surgery. And NY Jets fans are thinking “Rest, take all the time you need, years even…”

With Sunday night’s NY Giants vs Dallas Cowboys game have to figure 10% of Americans wanted  NY, 10% wanted Dallas, and the rest wish they could both lose.

Meanwhile, back in MLB, what happened to the “invincible” Atlanta Braves and Los Angeles Dodgers? Both losers of four straight….

Lost in the hubbub over the NFL opening weekend was the Reds 4-3 walkoff win over the Dodgers last night. When Brian Wilson walked the first batter in the 10th, and Cincinnati scored with a stolen base and a single. Ladies and gentlemen in Los Angeles, get your flasks ready.

NY Yankees win with walkoff walk after another blown save. Maybe even Mariano Rivera wants to be done with A-Rod after the regular season.