Posted tagged ‘Janice Hough’
October 8, 2014
SF Giants were 1-11 with men in scoring position tonight. Has to be voodoo.
Hunter Pence, who made an incredible catch tonight, along with a hit and a walk, was so overdue he’s been scheduled for a pitocin drip #SFGiants
(guys, ask your wives)
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Got to give props to Bryce Harper for this story relayed by a sportswriter friend. When the SF Giants Nationals game was over, apparently a Washington reporter told Harper “They stole that series from you.” And Harper responded, “No, they stole nothing. They earned this win. Write it.”
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Meanwhile, Clayton Kershaw making a strong case for the title Mr. September.
There’s a reason they vote for MVP and Cy Young at the end of the regular season.
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Meanwhile Yasiel Puig didn’t start today’s NLDS game #4 between LA and STL. Thereby disappointed Dodgers fans who were convinced he would hit a game-winning home run, and Giants fans who were convinced it would be fun to watch him strike out.
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U.N. experts of have dismissed the claim of an explorer who says he found the long-lost Santa Maria, saying that the wreck isn’t old enough to be that of a 16th century ship. What was their first clue, parts stamped “Made in China”?
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NY Jets QB Geno Smith said he was late to a team meeting in San Diego because he had confused his time zones. Yo, Geno, except that New York is three hours AHEAD of California. Not sure what Smith majored in at West Virginia, but pretty sure it wasn’t math.
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Police were called when Florida’s 2nd backup QB Skyler Mornhinweg was apparently been involved in a fight with another player. This after #1 backup QB Treon Harris was suspended after he was accused of sexual assault. Are we sure former coach Urban Meyer isn’t still somehow involved.
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Some complaints on #ESPN‘s #MLBplayoffs coverage. But we should realize by now, ESPN thinks season ended when #Jeter & #Yankees eliminated.
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U.S. Marshals found that a prisoner taken from his cell to a Washington D.C Superior court arrived at court carrying a loaded gun. Is the Secret Service in charge of D.C. jails too?
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-NY Jets coach Rex Ryan said if “we don’t get this thing – (the 2014 season) on the right track, I don’t think for a minute I’ll be here” in 2015. Not sure if Rex is more expecting to be fired or to quit in disgust.
From T.C. “”Washington Nationals coaches, managers and executives are absolutely ecstatic over losing to the SF Giants tonight. They now can rest pitcher Stephen Strasburg until next season.”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Dodgers jokes, Janice Hough, Kershaw jokes, NLDS jokes, SFGiants jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
October 7, 2014
The NFL now has a sponsorship deal with Bose which will ban players from wearing “Beats by Dre” headphones during interviews and games. Violators will be fined. Good to know Roger Goodell and the league are taking on the tough issues.
Michael Phelps was suspended from USA swimming events for six months following his DUI. Many Americans were shocked. In non-Olympic years there are swimming events?
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The conservative leaning Supreme Court Monday decided to reject requests from five states to immediately review their gay marriage bans. Maybe because now even GOP candidates told them it was a losing issue?
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Michigan State’s AD is upset with the 13,000 students who bought season tickets but mostly left early when the Spartans had a 27-3 lead in a cold wet fourth quarter against Nebraska. He said changes will be made. Right. Like selling the same tickets for a lot more money to alums who will also leave early in such conditions.
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The Jaguars apologized for their mascot mocking the Steelers’ “Terrible Towels” during yesterday’s game with a sign that said “Towels carry Ebola.” Of course the Steelers could have responded that Jacksonville was safe because the team couldn’t catch anything.
A nurse in Spain has contracted Ebola from two patients who returned from Africa. So will Rick Perry demand now that the U.S. stop all airline flights from Europe?
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Madison Bumgarner inexplicably tried to a bunt to third with runners on first and second Monday, and when the throw went wide two runs scored. Although later catcher and former high school valedictorian Buster Posey said he told him to do it. #smartmenfoolishchoices
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Monday was a painful day for #SFGiants fans. Although nice now to watch #BrianWilson and think “no longer our circus, not our monkey.” #Dodgers
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If misery loves company #SFGiants and #Dodgers are having a bromance over their 7th innings today. #NLDS
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According to the SF Chronicle, the principal of a private Marin County high school was arrested last weekend “after he was found in a Sacramento County motel room with large quantities of drugs and a passed-out woman roughly 30 years younger than him” Wonder how long it will take for the made-for-TV movie.
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So I know about the Rolaids reliever award. Are the Dodgers trying to challenge the Tigers for the Arson Squad award? #bullpenwhatbullpen?
Two men were arrested and charged with felony assault after a fight in the men’s bathroom at Levi’s Stadium before the 49ers game Sunday. Allegedly over ‘impatience for an open stall’ . Sounds like the worries over the new stadium just being filled with chardonnay swilling techies might be unfounded.
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So anyone who was surprised that Buck Showalter intentionally walked the potential winning run on base in the bottom of the 9th Sunday in Detroit clearly doesn’t remember 1998, when Buck intentionally walked Barry Bonds. With the bases loaded. (He won that game too.)
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, bullpen jokes, Dodgers jokes, Ebola jokes, Janice Hough, Michael Phelps jokes, NLDS jokes, SF Giants jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
October 5, 2014
Game time for Giants vs. Nationals is 2:07p. So SF fans won’t have to get that sudden debilitating mystery illness at work Monday until about noon.
So the AL representative in #WorldSeries will be either the Kansas City #Royals or the Baltimore #Orioles. And Fox executives just threw up.
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Still can’t get over all those empty seats in Nationals Park Saturday night in extra innings. It was if we were watching a Nationals game and an Expos game broke out.
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(And okay, so it was almost midnight and getting colder. As a veteran of the 7 plus hour Giants-Dodgers twilight doubleheader in July 1988, however, I have cred on this issue. Scott Garrelts lost BOTH games, the second about 130a.)
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On the other hand, right about now all those #49ers fans who complained about how cold it was at #CandlestickPark thinking “I take it back.” #LevisStadium
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The sunny-side of the stadium was largely empty in the second half of today’s 49ers-Chiefs game. On a brighter note, maybe the 49ers can rent out the place on weekdays as the world’s largest tanning booth?
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Randy Moss now says of playing under Jim Harbaugh with the 49ers: “He treated us men like we were still college kids at Stanford.” Does Moss mean Harbaugh overestimated most of the team’s maturity level?
Saw today’s new poll of the best 25 college teams and it inexplicably left off the #NYJets
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Although main thought watching week 5 in the #NFL. This league has a lot of mediocre football teams.
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So #11 Oregon, who beat #8 MSU by 18, is ranked below the Spartans in today’s coaches poll, and an undefeated #12 TCU is ranked below the #9 Oklahoma team they beat. Well, no one ever suggested anyone connected with college football is good with math.
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Paul Revere, founder of Paul Revere and the Raiders, has passed away at the age of 76. Please can someone get a comment from Sarah Palin on his death?
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Lots of rumors that this is Jim Harbaugh’s last year with the 49ers. This morning Jed York tweeted “Jim is my coach. We are trying to win a SB, not a personality or popularity contest. Any more questions?” Well, at least York didn’t say he was behind Harbaugh 1000%.
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Who ever thought #Jets fans would be looking back longingly to the glory days of #MarkSanchez and #TimTebow?
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More “Why there is no satire.” Todd Kincannon, former executive director of the South Carolina GOP tweeted yesterday. “People with Ebola in the US need to be humanely put down immediately.” And followed it with “The protocol for a positive Ebola test should be immediate humane execution and sanitization of the whole area. That will save lives.” And yes, he’s “pro-life.”
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Joint joke with my friend Alex Kaseberg. “What is with all the long, bushy beards on baseball players. Have not seen this many beards since Tom Cruise was auditioning potential future wives.”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, college football jokes, Harbaugh jokes, Janice Hough, Jets jokes, Levis stadium jokes, Nationals jokes, NFL jokes, SF Giants jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
October 5, 2014
18 innings. Wonder how this SFGiants Washington Nationals game would have had to go until we got to penalty kicks?
After Belt’s home run in the 18th, figured the game had gone on so long FOX announcers might actually say nice things about San Francisco Giants in hopes of just getting to go home. #SFvsWAS
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The game did only end at midnight thought, and lots of #Nationals fans had already left. Where do they think they were? Chavez Ravine? #SFGiants
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Until tonight #SFGiants pitcher Yusmeiro Petit managed to almost throw a perfect game against the Mets (8 2/3 innings), and broke the MLB record of 46 straight batters retired. But no one nationally had heard of him. Until tonight.
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Nice #Friendsarewaiting Budweiser commercial about the guy who stays with friends instead of driving home drunk. But it doesn’t show the dog pee somewhere all over the floor….
Despite a tough loss for the Cardinal, it was 40 degrees and rainy in South Bend, and 90 degrees and sunny in Palo Alto #Stanford #NotreDame
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Bobby Jindal said yesterday that President Obama should stop all air traffic from countries with Ebola. So what are the Louisiana Governor’s plans for closing his state’s border with Texas?
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Two passengers who were vomiting on the plane caused an entire United flight from Brussels to Newark to be quarantined for several hours on arrival. If vomit is enough to spark Ebola fears these days, there are going to be a lot of delays for folks flying home from Las Vegas.
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Lindsay Graham now says he “may just jump in” to the 2016 Presidential race. And Hillary Clinton is thinking this is almost as good news as having a grandchild.
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So Derek Jeter is having a big party on Long Island this weekend, which is “trending” because of reports that it’s a secret wedding. Sigh. Well, to be fair, Jeter has been out of the headlines for almost a whole week.
The SF Giants and Washington Nationals played two games and scored only three runs. But now Cal and WSU are playing an arena football game.
#Stanford can’t score, #Cal can’t play defense. This year’s “Big Game” will be subtitled “Something’s gotta give.”
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Cal wins 60-59 on a missed field goal despite giving up over 800 yards. So was the strategy to wear out Washington State’s kicker with all those PATs?
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So who figured the center of the college football world would now be Mississippi?
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From Bill Littlejohn. The U.S. Postal Service is set to unveil new Wilt Chamberlain commemorative stamps—-there are slated to be special notches on the first 20,000 of them”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Cal jokes, college football jokes, Ebola jokes, Janice Hough, Nationals jokes, NLDS jokes, SFGiants jokes, Stanford jokes
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October 2, 2014
Not surprisingly Secret Service director Julia Pierson has resigned. What is surprising, based on her performance in front of Congress, is how Pierson ever got the job in the first place.
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The Washington Post is deriding Julia Pierson for allegedly saying last summer that the Secret Service needs “to be more like Disney World.” Except that no one could actually sneak in without a ticket at Disney World.
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Jets owner Woody Johnson said he still thinks that Geno Smith “can be a franchise quarterback, I really do.” Of course, the franchise Johnson is talking about might be in the Canadian or Arena Football Leagues.
Ben Affleck was willing to do a nude scene for “Gone Girl” but said he told the director “But I will not wear a Yankees hat. I just can’t…” The man has his priorities straight.
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A’s GM Billy Beane said that “if we don’t have Jon Lester, I don’t think we make the playoffs.” Well, sort of. If Oakland still had Cespedes they might not have needed to PLAY the one-game playoff.
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Weird playoff trivia. Before the 2nd Wild Card was added in 2012, only four teams in each league made the postseason. If two teams tied for the best runner-up record, they would play a single play-in game. Had that system been in effect this year, the two tied NL teams would have been – the #SFGiants and #Pirates.
JPMorgan Chase said hackers broke into their system and got information from over 80 million customers – names, addresses, phone numbers and email addresses, as well as “internal information relating to such users.” But the bank claims birthdates, account numbers and Social Security numbers were not compromised. And why should we doubt them? #sarcasm
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Crooks are stupid, British award winner for the week: In Manchester, a man was caught breaking into a car in front of people training to become bouncers. Despite signs advertising the security classes. (Seven of the trainees caught and handcuffed him.)
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Supposedly in the interests of safety, an Arkansas woman has declared the gun range she owns a “Muslim Free Zone.” Let’s see, the number of people who have been killed at gun ranges by Muslims this year is one less than the number killed by little girls.
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In Louisiana, two high school English teachers were arrested after a student bragged about having a threesome with them. Parents were appalled, some fathers mostly appalled that there weren’t teachers like that in THEIR high school.
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Texas congressman Louie Gohmert has been complaining that the 3,000 troops President Obama is sending to West Africa to fight Ebola will return infected and spread the disease at home. So presume Gohmert will now be one of the first to call for a quarantine of Texas.
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Still a longshot. But if both #Dodgers and #SFGiants advance expect to see the #MadBum #Puig confrontation on TV ads a few hundred times.
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Finally, all this frenzy over a possible epidemic in the U.S. And yes, there IS a contagious disease that will kill thousands of people this year including children. It’s called influenza. Forget Ebola for a while. Get your flu shot.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Gone Girl jokes, Janice Hough, Jets jokes, MLB playoff jokes, secret service jokes, Texas jokes, wild card jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
October 1, 2014
At least three more games for the SF Giants in 2014. And this picture from 1992. When we thought the SF Giants might start the 1993 season in Tampa.
The little boy, for the uninitiated, is Brandon Crawford.
Brandon Crawford’s sister is actually dating another MLB player. A member of the Pittsburgh Pirates. #Thanksgiving #awkward
Liked baseball as a left-handed little kid, fell in love with baseball in the 1968 World Series. Mickey Lolich, 3 complete games. Tonight Madison Bumgarner channeled Lolich. But skinnier. And a better hitter.. #leftiesrule #SFGiants
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ESPN reported that Brandon Crawford’s grand slam was the first ever by a shortstop in the postseason. And speaking of shortstops, will this be the cue for another Derek Jeter retrospective?
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Donald Trump is on another Ebola rampage with the first case in the U.S., tweeting “how dumb was our President to send thousands of poorly trained and ill-equipped soldiers over to West Africa to fight Ebola. Stop all flights.”And saying we must “immediately institute strong travel restrictions or Ebola will be all over the United States-a plague like no other.”
Alas, Ebola is far less dangerous for Americans than Donald Trump.
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Have to wonder, how many Americans who are freaking out over #Ebola are also anti-vaccine.
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So the man infected with Ebola told an emergency room nurse days before he became REALLY sick, that he’d been in Liberia. And it didn’t set off any alarms. Once again, proving all the precautions in the world #cantfixstupid.
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So if we really want to contain #Ebola can we just quarantine the state of #Texas? #twobirdsonestone
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In the Arizona Fall League. baseball will test eliminating actual pitches during intentional walks, with the idea of maybe trying it in the majors. And the #SFGIants Pablo Sandoval is thinking, hey, those are hittable pitches.
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Michael Phelps was clocked at 85 MPH when he was arrested. Here’s one way to fix some of these driving issues for athletes: Make the only car they are allowed to drive be a Prius. Those things can’t get up to 85 MPH.
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Tom Brady just said of his team “We don’t have the kind of offense that’s going to perform at a high level.” And Patriots fans are thinking “What was your first clue?”
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Wow. A jury found Michael Dunn guilty of first-degree murder today for the “loud music” 2012 shooting death of 17-year-old Jordan Davis. Not often I type these words, but “Nicely done, Florida.”
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From T.C. “North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has been hospitalized with two broken ankles, apparently from wearing heels and being overweight. When his ankle extension surgery is completed, he will be the same height as his buddy Dennis Rodman.”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Brandon Crawford, Ebola jokes, Florida jokes, Janice Hough, playoff jokes, SF Giants jokes, Texas jokes, wild card jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
September 30, 2014
Most sleepless night for baseball players not with the Oakland A’s tonight? Angels catchers Chris Iannetta & Hank Conger having nightmares about trying to throw out Royals baserunners….
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Kansas City Police (@kcpolice) for the winning tweet of the night “We really need everyone to not commit crimes and drive safely right now. We’d like to hear the @Royals clinch this.”
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#As and #Royals were so unhappy about a single wild-card game they decided to play two. #ALWildcard
(Personally I think a single game playoff is wrong, but if MLB is going to have one, maybe they should at least let teams keep their 40 man September rosters… Though it might have been fun watching infielders pitch in the 16th or 17th inning…)
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Wonder how many folks went to bed on the East Coast or turned off the TV in the 7th inning of the #ALWildcard and are waking up this am “WTF?”
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In Las Vegas, the Philadelphia 76ers are projected to win 15.5 games this season. That many?
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So parents of young children were supposed to get all upset because #HunterPence dropped some F bombs on television but the AL Wild Card can feature a Viagra commercial with a sultry blonde woman saying “Plenty of guys have this issue — not just getting an erection, but keeping it.”
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Some cynics are claiming that Chelsea Clinton’s baby was perfectly timed for media impact. Ridiculous. As if anyone looking for maximum publicity would ever time an event to coincide with George Clooney’s wedding.
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Theo Epstein said the Cubs’ “goal is the NL Central title next year.” And millions of women are thinking “Yeah, our goal was to marry George Clooney too.”
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Michael Phelps was arrested last night for his 2nd DUI. Clearly this man would be better off sticking to pot.
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Biggest disappointment of MNF – Nobody found Gisele Bündchen to ask what she thought of her husband’s Patriots teammates afterwards.
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New Lakers coach Bryon Scott says he loves that “pretty much everyone has written us off. That’s obviously fuel to the fire.” Alas the fire that is fueled might be longtime fans burning season tickets.
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The NFL has quickly admitted they made a mistake penalizing Chiefs safety Husain Abdullah, who knelt in Muslim prayer last night after returning a interception for a touchdown. This would never have happened had Abdullah played for the Raiders, they don’t get any interceptions for touchdowns.
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The Rocco Forte hotel chain is offering guests booked through certain travel agents free wi-fi for up to three devices in a room. And a lot of travelers are thinking “So how do we decide which three?”
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#TonySparano was named the #Raiders interim head coach. But really, aren’t all head coaches in Oakland “interim”?
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The FCC today eliminated their local blackout rule for NFL games that are not sold out. although the league says they don’t expect to change policy, claiming in a statement “The NFL is the only sports league that televises every one of its games on free, over-the-air television.” And of course the statement was covered on NFL Network and ESPN.
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Headline about the latest alleged Secret Service fail. “Obama Rode Elevator With Armed Ex-Convict.” Of course, these days an armed ex-con COULD be an elected official from an open carry state.
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Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: A's jokes, Hunter Pence jokes, Janice Hough, NFL jokes, Patriots jokes, Royals jokes, secret service jokes, Viagra jokes, wild card jokes
Comments: 5 Comments
September 29, 2014
Monday was the first day that MLB had to survive without Derek Jeter. Tragic, really.
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A’s vs. Royals today in the AL Wild Card game. “I’ll take two teams where most Americans can’t name a single player for $500, Alex.”
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Not to say the #Patriots are getting old but rumor has it their video spy team has been using #VHS tape.
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On Monday, National Coffee Day, restaurants were giving away coffee to customers. Now at 2am EST Tuesday #NationalCoffeeDay is trending on Facebook…. Presumably because of all those wide awake people who had several cups of free coffee.
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After NC State almost upset Florida State, the Wolfpack coach caused the Seminoles of faking injures. Jimbo Fisher responded “Well, I accuse him of not knowing what he’s talking about. They’re not fake injuries. No one faked injuries, and we wouldn’t do that.” He might have added, “Really, everyone knows FSU only fakes grades and arrest reports.”
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Detroit Lions TE Joseph Fauria says he sprained his ankle when he fell while chasing after a puppy he was toilet training. The puppy now has more tackles than most of the Oakland Raiders defense.
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The #Raiders have fired #DennisAllen. Shocking. So Oakland thinks they have found someone else to take over their train wreck?
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Geno Smith yelled “F— you” at a heckler after the game at MetLife Stadium. If this keeps up, even PETA members will be calling for Michael Vick. #Jets
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In a 5-4 decision, the Supreme Court rejected Ohio early voting starting Sept. 30 instead of Oct. 7. Rationale? Presumably because the Court couldn’t figure out a way, yet, to overturn the 15th and 19th amendments.
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Joe Girardi said today he expects A-Rod to play 3rd next year, but that he doesn’t anticipate Rodriguez’s return to create a distraction. Hmm, is it time to start drug testing MLB managers?
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O’Hare Airport still has thousands of cancelled flights, and the FAA says Chicago air traffic won’t be back to normal until at last mid October. Which should be right about the time they start closing the airports for snow.
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A Southern California woman is suing the producers of “Glee” because she allegedly tripped over cables at Burbank Town Center while the series was filming there. Would be interesting to see security footage from the mall, over-under on the odds the woman was looking at her phone at the time
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Bus to hell, NASCAR version: Tony Stewart said Monday in a press conference that retiring “would take the life out of me.” Is that really the right phrase to use after killing someone with your car?
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: #NationalCoffeeday, A-Rod jokes, airline jokes, Janice Hough, Jeter jokes, Jets jokes, Nascar jokes, Patriots jokes, Raiders jokes
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September 28, 2014
The Empire State Building tonight featured blue and white pinstripes in honor of Derek Jeter. The worst thing now that Jeter has finally retired? New Yorkers have to turn their attention to the Jets.
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And yes, I know it’s about being the face of a franchise. But the sad thing, MLB has paid much more attention to the retirement of Derek Jeter than to the death of Tony Gwynn.
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The Tampa Bay Buccaneers finally won a game today. And the 2008 Detroit Lions and 1976 Bucs presumably popped some cans of generic beer.
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Teddy Bridgewater, who took over for injured Vikings QB Matt Cassell, left today’s Minnesota win with a sprained ankle. “I’m available, I’m available” said Brett Favre.
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Wonder what the #NFL record is for scoring by a team without using the offense? #Eagles #49ers.
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The NFL is trying hard to build their brand in England. And today’s game will help in one way. – even casual British sports fans will know the #Raiders s*ck.
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Rory McIlroy led Europe to another Ryder Cup win today. McIlroy is looking unstoppable, as long as he doesn’t cheat on a woman who knows how to handle a golf club.
Have to wonder how good the #SFGiants could have been had they just pushed the #panik button earlier this year.
Okay, really, glad she’s okay. But how many people could type “Jennifer Lopez” and “rear-ended” in the same sentence without giggling?
Would just one of these Republicans saying that we need “boots on the ground” to fight ISIS volunteer to fill a pair of those boots?
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More stuff you can’t make up. English version: the UK Sunday Mirror reports a leading Conservative minister, Brooks Newark, resigned over having exchanged explicit photos with someone he thought was a “20-something Tory PR woman”, but turned out to be a male reporter. Newark, a married father of five, had been heading up “Women2Win” – the Prime Minister’s drive to get more women in politics….
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Okay, who had the last undefeated teams in the #NFL in 2014 being the #Cardinals & #Bengals? Now all you liars lower your hands.
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Worst part of tonight’s #NOvsDAL game is #JerryJones looking like a genius for firing #RobRyan
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: boots on the ground jokes, Derek Jeter jokes, Janice Hough, JLo jokes, NFL jokes, Rory McIlory jokes
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September 27, 2014
For anyone who has been, or still is, an ugly duckling. I give you this picture from Time Magazine;
(George Clooney)
Apparently Alex Rodriguez is getting in shape and preparing for his return to the Yankees after a year’s suspension. It’s enough to make you long for another Derek Jeter farewell retrospective.
Starbucks is apparently trying out a new latte that’s supposed to taste like Guinness. One word. “Why?”
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MLB Executive V.P. Joe Torre changed a hit against Felix Hernandez last Tuesday to an error, making four runs later in that inning unearned. And dropping the Seattle ace pitcher’s ERA by .16. Which gives him a chance ot win the ERA title.
Next up, MLB will try to figure out what they have to change to give the Yankees and Derek Jeter a spot in the playoffs.
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#Stanford managed to beat Washington today. Despite proving again that they may be the best in college football with the #redzone “prevent offense.”
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So Eric Bolling’s wife is apparently the reason the FOX News host apologized for his “boobs on the ground” joke about the female fighter pilot: Perhaps a bit of understatement: “I made a joke and when I got home, I got the look, and realized some people didn’t think it was funny at all,’
The Milwaukee Brewers are retiring #1 for Bud Selig. And across the rest of baseball, fans are joining in by holding up one finger.
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From Dwight Perry: “Oakland Raiders are in London this weekend to play the Miami Dolphins. Don’t know how the football game will go, but the Black Hole is favored by 2½ over the soccer hooligans.”
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The only good thing about Michigan’s season? Other FBS teams should be lining up to offer the Wolverines million dollar payouts to play them.
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Yet more celebrity nude pictures have been hacked and posted online. Maybe it’s time to buy stock in Polaroid.
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Florida State barely escaped with a win over North Carolina State. Maybe all those police interviews are tiring Jameis Winston out.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Clooney marriage jokes, Fox jokes, Janice Hough, Michigan jokes, MLB jokes, Starbucks jokes
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September 26, 2014
A lot of women around the world just don’t get the fuss over Derek Jeter’s retirement. Now, George Clooney getting married, that’s traumatic.
Chelsea Clinton has a daughter, Charlotte. And Fox News is already preparing a documentary on why the baby is the wrong choice for President in 2064.
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Rand Paul said the U.S.is in a full blown crisis –a spiritual crisis…. I think we must do something our world often tells us not to do: Seek God. He also blasted President Obama as an arrogant “autocrat” who ignores the Constitution. Uh, Article VI of that Constitution – “no religious Test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States.”
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New Dbacks GM Dave Stewart has fired manager #KirkGibson. Finally, revenge from that 1988 #WorldSeries.
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The $228 million Powerball winner in Northern California, Vinh Nguyen, was described as a “nail technician.” At this point the correct phrase should probably be “former nail technician.”
Apparently the Redskins were selling “expired” Budweiser beer last night at FedEx field from the 2014 World Cup. Guess Dan Snyder wanted beverages that matched the quality of his team on the field.
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A new Michigan State study found that married couples who met online are three times more likely to divorce than those who met face-to-face. Possibly because many of those couples end up continuing to meet others on line?
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True story from a United Airlines reservation agent dealing with an elite level flyer this morning with a cancelled flight from Chicago-O’Hare. “I’m sorry, but the airport is closed.” “Well then, put me on another airline.” #facepalm
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Chicago airports reported about 1950 flight cancellations Friday. In other words, it was just like an average winter day for JetBlue.
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As all these pennant races come down to the wire, it must have been tough for MLB to pick headlines, after of course, Derek Jeter’s walk-off hit last night. And #2 was about Phil Hughes missing a $500,000 contract incentive by 1/3 of an inning. #3? “HOF thinks ahead for Jeter induction.” No joke.
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The NFL said today it found no evidence that a video of Ray Rice punching his fiancée was delivered to its headquarters. Presumably on the alleged date, all the league executives were busy anyway, looking for O.J’s “real killer.”
So Hunter Pence drops a few, okay, several, F-Bombs, during his clubhouse speech last night. Derek Jeter sits tonight at Fenway and gives Red Sox fans the finger.
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The AP is reporting that in April, a law enforcement official says he mailed the inside-elevator Ray Rice video to the NFL’s security chief, Jeffrey Miller… Next up for Goodell, attacking the credibility of the Post Office.
At the Value Voters Summit today, Sarah Palin ranted “Don’t retreat. You reload with truth, which I know is an endangered species at 1400 Pennsylvania Avenue.” Yeah, numbers, another construct of the liberal “lame-stream” media…..
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: airline jokes, clinton baby jokes, Clooney jokes, Janice Hough, Redskins jokes, United jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
September 26, 2014
The SF Giants clinched a playoff spot due to another Brewers meltdown. So did they have Champagne mixed with Gatorade in tonight’s game cooler?
(Sure looked like it when the bullpen imploded in the 6th and 7th)
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Nothing is certain but death, taxes and Tim #Lincecum against the Padres. #SFGiants
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Anyone easily offended, skip to the next item. Anyone tired of vanilla clubhouse speeches, cover your children’s ears and listen to the Reverend Hunter Pence. http://deadspin.com/we-now-go-live-to-hunter-pences-dirty-dirty-mouth-1639410347?utm_campaign=socialflow_deadspin_twitter&utm_source=deadspin_twitter&utm_medium=socialflow
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Stay classy. Fox News’s panelist Eric Bolling asked yesterday if a female fighter pilot may be called ‘boobs on the ground. Well, a Fox News panel can certainly be called “boobs on the air.”
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Anyone who has the attitude that Washington, D.C. is good for nothing, clearly isn’t a fan of an NFL team needing to get healthy.
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Have to wonder with all this controversy over the Redskins name, would it be any different if Dan Snyder were less of an a**hole and the team were less of a train wreck?
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Washington looked so overpowered tonight that out of habit House Republicans called for a Congessional Investigation against Obama. #Redskins #Giants
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So much for that ‘special relationship” between the U.S. and England. The Dolphins and Raiders are playing in London this Sunday. We couldn’t have sent over better teams, like say, Oregon and Florida State?
(My friend Jeff K. says ” It’s a showcase game. Trying to see if England can take one of those teams off our hands and send them down to some international league.“)
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A 6.2 earthquake hit near Anchorage, Alaska this morning. So will Sarah Palin blame this on the “lame-stream” media or Obama?
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Alex Kaseberg says the earthquake was so strong it shook Sarah into a bookstore.
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Mitt and Ann Romney are dropping hints that Mitt might run again in 2016. Perfect. Because Romney is like that ex who looks good from a nostalgic distance, until you start spending time with him/her again and get reminded why you dropped them.
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Attorney General Eric Holder has resigned and says he will step down as soon as a successor can be confirmed by the Senate. This Senate?! Means Holder will probably be around through the end of President Obama’s term.
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-The Orioles had clinched. So did Evan Meek groove a pitch to #DerekJeter ? #Yankees
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#ESPN & #RogerGoodell seem hell bent on making Congress look credible by comparison.
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At the University of Texas, new coach Charlie Strong has drug testing of football players on pace to double. This was reported by the Austin American-Statesman and presumably every SEC football recruiter.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Fox News jokes, Janice Hough, Jeter jokes, Palin jokes, Redskins jokes, SF Giants jokes, Washington jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
September 24, 2014
Apple released and pulled iOS 8.0.1 Wednesday. Apparently because the update caused dropped calls and disabled some new iPhone 6’s. The early bird may not get the worm. But they are more likely to get the bugs.
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Apparently some of the new iPhones warp. Of course, what’s really warped might be waiting hours and hours in line for a phone that will be easily available in a few months and obsolete by next year.
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When deputies pulled over a woman for driving with only one headlight late Monday night they heard crying from the trunk. Turns out she had put her 5-month-old baby into the car trunk, to avoid getting a ticket for not driving with a car seat. You guessed, it – Florida.
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A grand jury decided not to file criminal charges against Tony Stewart for hitting and killing Kevin Ward Jr.. The D.A. also said that tests revealed that Ward was under the influence of marijuana “at a high enough level to impair judgment.” Of course the drug that really impairs NASCAR drivers’ judgment is testosterone.
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#Yankees are selling #DerekJeter game-used socks for $400. Shudder to think what they are asking for his jockstraps.
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Spirit Airlines has announced “to make sure we have room for everyone’s bags” they are going to charge $2 more for checked bags for all flights between flights between Dec 18 and Jan 5. The probable reaction from other airlines? “Shocking. We should charge at least $10 more.
Bill Simmons was suspended 3 weeks for his profane rant about Roger Goodell where he called the commissioner a liar. 3 weeks. Guess he should have just taken a swing at Goodell in an elevator.
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The University of Michigan had planned to have the game ball delivered by drone last Saturday in Ann Arbor before the Wolverines’ game with Utah.. The school said they dropped the plan after consulting with the FAA, but rumor has it they didn’t want the drone to have a better completion rate than their QBs.
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The New York Yankees have been officially eliminated from the 2014 playoffs. So tonight we can expect an ESPN special on how Derek Jeter is dealing with this tragic event?
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So will #Yankees, out of the playoffs, take some comfort in #Dodgers, with the new highest MLB payroll, taking their place in postseason?
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Some rumors that the #SFGiants are boycotting a beat reporter for writing that two teammates had a “heated” argument in the clubhouse. Really? It’s not as if he wrote they had an actual physical fight. Besides, with the Giants this week no one would believe they could hit anything.
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Rep. Vance McAllister, the congressman who was caught on tape making out with a staffer, has his wife featured in his latest commercial, In the ad, Kelly McAllister says “A man’s character is based on how many times he gets up and stands again.” Considering the kissing tape, is “gets up”” the right phrase?
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A Virgin America flight from Boston to Los Angeles was diverted to Nebraska because, as the police report says, a man was “masturbating in flight and later tried to open an exit door.” This would never happen on United. The seats are too close together for anyone to masturbate.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: airline jokes, Derek Jeter jokes, Dodgers jokes, Goodell jokes, iPhone jokes, Janice Hough, Jeter jokes, Yankees jokes
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September 23, 2014
The Yankees’ “tragic number” to be eliminated from the playoffs is 1. Although the “tragic number” for watching Jeter in uniform is 5.
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At least looks like the ship is going down with the Captain.
On Keith Olbermann’s show tonight, he rained on the farewell parade big time: “Derek Jeter is not the greatest person in human history. He did not invent baseball, he did not discover electricity, he is not the greatest shortstop who ever lived.” Wonder how long it will take the Yankees to demand ESPN fire Olbermann for heresy?
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For Derek Jeter’s final AB, the Yankees will use a recorded introduction one more time from former ballpark announcer Bob Sheppard, who passed away in 2010. Well, this ought to be good for another ESPN 1 hour special.
If Yasiel Puig played against #BobGibson, #Puig might be dead by now.
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Nebraska RB Ameer Abdullah, 21, a friend of Jameis Winston’s from Birmingham, “It’s kind of hard for me to understand what’s going on with him right now, but from a general standpoint it’s the maturity level. Think before you act. Understand the bigger picture. Everything that you do, say or how you present yourself can have dire consequences.” Hope this doesn’t convince scouts Abdullah is too intelligent to play NFL football.
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A friend forwarded a tweet reporting how FSU coach Jimbo Fisher explained why Jameis Winst0n wouldn’t be doing weekly press conferences any more… “to give him m0re time for academics.” And wow, Fisher said it with a straight face.
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Those strikes against ISIS must have gone better than expected. Because some conservative websites are in an uproar over President Obama exiting his helicopter today on his way to a speech and saluting Marines with a cup of tea in his hand. #allhateallthetime
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The Steelers have re-signed LB James Harrison, and indicated his 2008 domestic violence arrest was not an issue. Well, I suppose when you can play well behind a rapist..
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University of Texas football coach has kicked nine players of the team this year due to academic and rules violations. At this point the SEC reps will be lying in wait outside the Longhorns’ locker room with transfer papers.
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Bus to hell time: Three people are dead, including the gunman, after a former UPS employee in uniform opened fire at a warehouse in Alabama. So UPS is not only taking business from the USPS, they’re also starting to go postal.
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A drunk man jumped into the White Tiger enclosure at the Delhi zoo yesterday with predictable results. Suppose reducing the zoo’s food bill for the week at least made it a productive Darwin award.
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Former HP CEO and California gubernatorial candidate Carly Fiorina said she wouldn’t rule out a run for the White House in 2016. Who says Democrats haven’t had any good news lately?
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For a real insult to Native Americans, how about the Atlanta Braves? 1-9 in their last 10 and on a late season push to catch the Marlins for 4th place.
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#AngelPagan will undergo season ending back surgery. But #SFGiants hope he will be back & ready to be injured again in spring training.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: buss to hell jokes, Darwin Award jokes, Derek Jeter jokes, Jameis Winston jokes, Janice Hough, Yankees jokes
Comments: 4 Comments
September 22, 2014
A fake ad on Twitter suggested that Apple iOS 8 users could charge their phones in the microwave. Apparently some people have tried. And somewhere Darwin is weeping.
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After a long separation, Bruce and Kris Jenner have announced they are divorcing. Apparently the train wreck that has become the NFL is taking too many headlines away from the Kardashians.
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So #BruceJenner and #KrisJenner are divorcing. Guess Kris finally decided for sure she wasn’t gay?
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SF WR Anquan Boldin claimed the officiating cost the 49ers “another game” yesterday. Of course, what’s this team really needed was the refs to call the game over after three quarters.
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A German FIFA executive says he doesn’t think the 2022 World Cup will be held in Qatar. Because they’ve finally come to their senses on the heat? Or because someone is offering a FIFA a bigger bribe?.
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Need to tell #Panda that salary drive year means hitting more than his weight in Sept. He’s barely hitting Lincecum’s weight #SfGiants
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Baltimore Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti complained today that the ESPN report about the Ray Rice case was from “a majority of the sources [who] are people that work for Ray Almost everything in there is anonymous, but it’s clear from the subject matter that it’s Ray’s attorney, it’s Ray’s agent, it’s Ray’s friends.” Possibly, but one thing Bisciotti didn’t say was that anything in the report was untrue.
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Sarah Palin defended her family on Facebook after the brawl earlier this month where police were called, with a post that included a picture of Bristol with a gun ‘“I love my Bristol! My straight-shooter is one of the strongest young women you’ll ever meet. I have to say this as a proud mama: right up there with their work ethic and heart for those less fortunate, my kids’ defense of family makes my heart soar!”
This might be the first time that “Bristol Palin” and “work” have been mentioned in the same sentence.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, iPhone jokes, Janice Hough, Kris Jenner jokes, NFL jokes, Palin jokes
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September 21, 2014
For non-Saints fans “Ignorance is no excuse” is the phrase Roger Goodell used when, despite no evidence that Sean Payton knew about the bounty scheme, the NFL commissioner suspended the New Orleans coach for a year.
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Ray Lewis on the Ray Rice situation, ” There’s some things you can cover up and then there’s some things you can’t.” Well, he should know. #murder
The NY Daily News reports a source saying of the June meeting with Rice, Goodelll and others in the NFL “Ray owned it from day one,” said one source of Rice’s descriptions of events. “He went in as if (the tape)existed. Everyone knew it existed. He knew if the commissioner hadn’t already seen it, he would see it.” It really is looking like Rice may come out of this looking better than the NFL commissioner.
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On a brighter note for #Cal football, losers 49-45 by a last-second Hail Mary; last year they wouldn’t have HAD a 31-13 lead to blow in the 4th quarter.
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The Atlanta Braves have been eliminated from the postseason. So they will not be able to continue their streak of not selling out playoff games.
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#NFL proves once again why their #overtime rule is as bad a way to end a game as penalty kicks. #DENvsSEA
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Jameis Winston will be back has the FSU QB Monday. No word on when Seminoles coach Jimbo Fisher will remove the duct tape from Winston’s mouth.
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Tens of thousands of protesters, including many celebrities – RFK, Jr, Al Gore, Leonardo DiCaprio, Sting and Mark Ruffalo for examples -marked in the People’s Climate March in New York today. Wonder how many of the celebs arrived by private plane?
Just proving that not all NFL stupid moments involve crimes and coverups:: Detroit Lions LB Stephen Tulloch made a stop against the Green Bay Packers. And when he jumped to celebrate Tulloch tweaked his knee and had to come out of the game.
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Derek Jeter, interviewed for New York magazine, complained that Hank and Hal Steinbrenner are “not around as much as the Boss was. The Boss would pop in frequently during the course of the season. Hal and Hank, they don’t really come in too often.” And his Yankees’ teammates are thinking “Thanks for giving them the idea, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: baseball jokes, Jameis Winston, Jameis Winston jokes, Janice Hough, NFL jokes, Ray Lewis jokes, ray rice jokes
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September 20, 2014
John Boehner, trash talking the unemployed – “this idea that has been born, maybe out of the economy over the last couple years, that you know, I really don’t have to work. I don’t really want to do this. I think I’d rather just sit around. This is a very sick idea for our country.” Really, who do these people think they are, Congress?
Urban Meyer says he was depressed and “mentally broke” with the stress of coaching Florida’s national champion 2008 team and contending 2009 team. So he can avoid all that being in the Big Ten?
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Florida State squeaked out a win against Clemson in overtime. If the Seminoles knew the game would have been that close they would have only suspended Jameis Winston for three quarters.
Would someone please tell the #SFGiants they don’t have to give up scoring for Rosh Hashanah.
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Brian Wilson gives up game winning home run to #Cubs. And #Dodgers fans are getting just a little tastle of #torture #SFGiants
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A lot of chatter amongst Florida fans about benching QB Jeff Driskel, including from former Gator Emmitt Smith. Which is shocking, bench an SEC QB for poor play rather than academic issues or arrests?
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542 people in Calgary all dressed in Batman suits this week at work to raise money for charity and to get into the Guinness Book of World Records.(The old record was 250 Batmans) What I want to know, who comes up with the idea in the first place of a setting a record for “The Largest Gathering of People Dressed As Batman?””
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A hacker allegedly briefly uploaded naked pictures of #KimKardashian but quickly took them down. Presumably because #nobodycares.
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Kim Kardashian apparently wants to appear on ‘Downton Abbey.” And we thought some of the recent wars have tested the “special relationship” between the U.S. and Britain.
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What’s next for #RogerGoodell? Almost expect him to tweet #Winning!
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In a press conference that might have called for a “Hail Mary”, #RogerGoodell took a knee. #NFL
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Roger Goodell and “Purposeful Misdirection” sounds like the name of a bad garage band.
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Full moonbeam rising: How strong is California Gov. Jerry Brown? At the state GOP convention, state controller candidate Ashley Swearingen, the mayor of Fresno, said she hadn’t decided whether to vote for Brown or his Republican opponent in November.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Boehner jokes, Florida State jokes, Goodell jokes, Janice Hough, kim kardashian jokes, Urban Meyer jokes
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September 18, 2014
So the Scottish Independence vote has failed. And across the U.S. the most common responses are probably “Weren’t they already an independent country?” and “What does this mean for Scotch whiskey prices?”
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And hope springs eternal. From Daniel Miller, director of Texas Nationalist Movement., on the Scottish referendum, before the votes were counted: “We’re excited that they are able to have a voice, to be able to go to the polls and voice their political will on the issue of self-determination. We’re hoping for a ‘Yes’ vote.” I’ll swap Puerto Rico for Texas as the 50th state any time. #noforeignaid
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Andy Murray, who has been neutral on Scottish independence, tweeted early this morning “‘Huge day for Scotland today! no campaign negativity last few days totally swayed my view on it. excited to see the outcome. lets do this!’ Ought to be real interesting when Murray shows up next year at Wimbledon.
(and do have to wonder, understand neutrality, but have if he was going to come out as a “yes,” why not do it earlier, when it might have mattered, instead of today when it probably accomplished nothing except really annoying English fans and sponsors.)
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Florida State believes they have strictly disciplined Jameis Winston for his “offensive and vulgar” behavior with a one-half game suspension. The school’s biggest regret? That Winston didn’t scream the obscene meme sooner, so they could have suspended him for their game against the Citadel.
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Texas Tech defensive coordinator Matt Wallerstedt resigned today. ESPN reported that he was “was suspected of being under the influence of an unknown substance while on campus.” Of course, this is Lubbock, TX. Was the “unknown substance” Chardonnay?
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Gatorade has a new commercial honoring Derek Jeter and his retirement. Good thing. Would hate for such a momentous event to go unnoticed.
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Michael Vick feels that Roger Goodell should not be fired, and said that the NFL commissioner is “doing a great job.” And Vick’s image rehabilitation was going so well……
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About now the #NFL would let Michael Sam & his boyfriend get married on 50 yd-line if it would be the #1 football headline. #Distractions
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Vikings WR Jerome Simpson. already serving a 3 game DUI suspension, will be arraigned in November after being pulled over for alleged marijuana possession, driving with an open bottle and violating limited license restrictions. And the NFL is thinking, “Thank God, he didn’t beat up anyone.
4-1 lead in the 7th over the Dodgers and the Chicago pitcher induces an inning-ending double play which gets booted, and LA ends up scoring 5 runs enroute to a 8-4 win. SFGiants fans would like to thank the Cubs for reminding us, we may have #torture but it could be worse.
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Although they are not in the same league, the Oakland As are constantly competing with the SF Giants. And in 2014 year they seem bound and determined to compete with the June-July version of the Giants.
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Miley Cyrus is now under criminal investigation for twerking in Monterrey with dancers whipping and rubbing Mexican flags on her derriere. As the Mexican constitution protects “national emblems, the flag and the national anthem.” Well, even if Miley didn’t commit a technical crime in Mexico, she should be under investigation for criminal stupidity.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Cubs jokes, Goodell jokes, GOP jokes. NFL jokes, Jameis Winston jokes, Janice Hough, Miley Cyrus jokes, Scottish Independence jokes
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September 17, 2014
Tuesday there was a press conference blasting the NFL and Roger Goodell over their handling of domestic violence cases – held by Gloria Allred. So congrats to all those who had Sept 17 in the pool.
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Scotland is voting September 18 on a possible declaration of independence from the United Kingdom. And the number one response in the U.S.A. “So what is the United Kingdom?”
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The Vikings, on deactivating Adrian Peterson “After giving the situation additional thought, we have decided this is the appropriate course of action for the organization and for Adrian.” Translation, we don’t want to lose any more sponsors. #Followthemoney
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The NFL fined Colin Kaepernick $10,000 for inappropriate language last weekend, and fined Buffalo Bills linebacker Brandon Spikes $8,268 for an unnecessary roughness penalty. So the lesson is clear, if you’re really unhappy on the field, don’t swear at someone, stomp them.
#TMI Baltimore WR Steve Smith posted a picture of his new son along with the tweet “The last time me and my wife were in elevator heading to our hotel room!!! We got this guy 9 months later.. #Realtalk” And not that long ago that would have been the most unfortunate story most of us could imagine involving a Ravens player and an elevator.
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Jameis Winston has been suspended for the 1st half of FSU’s game Saturday against Clemson for standing on a table in the student union and repeatedly yelling an obscene internet meme – “F*ck her right in the p*ssy.” Considering that the Heisman winner is still being investigated for alleged sexual assault the suspension has to be as much about stupidity as obscenity.
Well, this kind of sucks. Rob Ford’s doctor says the Toronto mayor is battling a rare and “fairly aggressive” form of cancer. And Ford is probably thinking, “Hell, if I knew that I’d have kept smoking crack.”
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Adrian Peterson’s mother ” When you whip those you love, it’s not about abuse, but love.” Sounds like the apple didn’t strike far from the tree.
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Aaron Hernandez, trying to get evidence tossed in his murder trial “I felt helpless in the face of the occupation of my house by the police. I was also very concerned about what would happen to my fiancée and our baby if I refused to answer their questions. I did not feel free to leave at any time during the search.” “I feel so sorry for him”, said nobody.
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Now some are slamming the new Miss America Kira Kazantsev because she interned at Planned Parenthood… Would they have been as angry if she supported raising welfare payments for poor children?
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Told to unload his bags from a bus in Altoona, PA on July 31 after a AA game for Richmond. Game winning single in Arizona for the SF Giants in a pennant race Sept 17. Quite a few weeks for Matt Duffy.
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From my funny friend Alex Kaseberg “It is so hot in Los Angeles, people are going to Dodger games just to feel the cool breeze coming off of Yasiel Puig’s bat when he strikes out. ” (.183% in his last 31 games)
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Adrian Peterson jokes, Gloria Allred jokes, Janice Hough, NFL jokes, Rob Ford jokes, Scotland jokes, Vikings jokes
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September 16, 2014
So if all these players are so big on whipping as appropriate discipline maybe it’s time to stop the fines and suspensions for various NFL transgressions and move to public floggings.
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Breaking news. Adrian Peterson has just been placed on the “exempt” list by the Vikings and the NFL, which means he cannot take part in team activities “for the time being.” Translation, until it costs us more to have him sit than to have him play.
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Roger Goodell announced yesterday that he has appointed three women as “senior advisers,” And that they will “help lead and shape the NFL’s policies and programs relating to domestic violence and sexual assault,” Did Goodell get the idea from Bud Selig’s “blue ribbon committees?”
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So when they put out the NFL injury report each week for bettors and fantasy football players, how long until the league starts combining it with an arrest report?
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The University of Miami’s QB of the future Kevin Olsen is no longer enrolled at the school, after his THIRD suspension from the football program. This time for a DUI with 5 fake driver’s licenses. Is it too soon to start a pool as to which SEC school will give him another chance?
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Major NFL sponsor Anheuser-Busch says they are ”disappointed and increasingly concerned” by recent incidents. And that they have shared their concerns and expectations with the league. When you give a beer company the moral high ground, you know you have a problem.
Reggie Bush, on parenting “I have a 1-year-old daughter, and I discipline her.. I definitely will try to, will obviously not leave bruises or anything like that on her. But I definitely will discipline her harshly depending on, again, on what the situation is.” When asked directly about using a switch, Bush said, “I would possibly consider [it], depending on what she did.” He later added “”No, I didn’t say a branch or a stick,” he said. “I said spanking. Spanking is different than a branch or a stick.”
Wow. Is the NFL going for the “excuse all our players because they have had concussions” defense?
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Rush Limbaugh “How many guys, in your own experience with women, have learned that no means yes if you know how to spot it?.. ” Is this Rush’s way of trying to take the negative spotlight off his friend Roger Goodell?
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Sen. Maria Cantwell today announced she would introduce legislation to remove the NFL’s tax exempt status if the league did not put pressure on the Washington Redskins to change their team name. Because the Senate doesn’t have anything better to do?
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The Browns’ Josh Gordon is currently under a season long 16 game suspension for marijuana. But new rule changes are expected to reduce the suspension to 10 games. On the other hand, Gordon just pleaded guilty to a DUI, which would be a 2 game suspension. So, 16 minus 6, plus 2. Who says NFL players don’t need to know math?
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Going down to wire of Sept. #MLB playoff chases, it’s really great to see traditional rivalry games like… the Pirates vs Red Sox? #thanksfornothingSelig
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The Yankees’ Martin Prado had to have an appendectomy this morning. Stand by for the ESPN report on Derek Jeter’s reaction.
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This month, alas, the NFL seems to be trying to prove Earl Warren wrong? “I always turn to the sports pages first, which records people’s accomplishments. The front page has nothing but man’s failures. ”
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Both the Nationals and the Orioles have clinched their baseball divisions. Standby for the GOP accusing Obama of being at fault for the resulting increased traffic.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Adrian Peterson jokes, Congress jokes, Janice Hough, MLB jokes, NFL jokes, Roger Goodell jokes, spanking jokes
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Left Coast Sports Babe 