Archive for the ‘sports jokes’ category
June 11, 2012
Jersey Shore cast member Deena was arrested for disorderly conduct charge today when a police officer saw her in standing in the street, allegedly “a little intoxicated,” and slapping cars that were driving by. Well, guess regular viewers will be glad to know that even Snooki’s pregnancy won’t alter the essence of the show.
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Scary thought, most Americans can probably name more Jersey Shore cast members than they can name justices of the U.S. Supreme Court.
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Defense attorney Joe Amendola says of the upcoming trial “This is the fight of Jerry Sandusky’s life.” Uh, since Jerry already lost the battle between good and evil?-
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In 2012 SF Giants fans have gone from “Let Timmy Smoke” to “Timmy’s pitching, we’ll need to smoke.”
“Hempcon” medical marijuana convention is June 15-17 in San Jose, California. Wonder how many attendees will show up a week later?
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Many of the “Big Tobacco” funded ads against California’s Prop 29 (cigarette tax) talked about how none of the money went to cancer research. So now that the tobacco companies spent almost $50 million probably to defeat the initiative, when can we expect them to kick in a like amount for that cancer research?
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Eurocup, Stanley Cup. It’s a close competition as to which the average American knows less about.
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Stanford pitcher Mark Appel blamed his horrible start yesterday against Florida State on the humidity and the crowds. Well, playing for the Pittsburgh Pirates he’ll still have to deal with humidity, but shouldn’t be a problem with crowds.
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Another day, another NFL DUI arrest, this time NY Giants LT David Diehl, who was arrested tonight in Queens after allegedly hitting a couple of parked cars with his BMW. So when will they start writing NFL contracts to include car and drivers?
Stony Brook’s college baseball team is America’s new favorite Cinderella team heading towards the College World Series. The biggest question in most sports fans’ minds – where the heck is Stony Brook?
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All hail the God of Television: The 2012 College World Series may well finish before the NBA finals.
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Budget move? Texas is considering raising the speed limit on a toll road from Austin to San Antonio to 85mph. Well, that’s one way to reduce the number of Americans who will end up needing Social Security.
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Lindsay Lohan, who first said the other driver cut her off, is now saying “my brakes failed” when she ran into a truck in her Porsche last week. Uh, longtime Lindsay watchers are thinking maybe it’s not her car that needs the brakes.
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John McCain is outraged and blaming President Obama as commander in chief for recent national security leaks. Uh, where was this outrage and blame from Senator McCain when the last administration outed Valerie Plame?
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: College World Series jokes, Eurocup jokes, Jerry Sandusky jokes, Jersey Shore jokes, Lindsay Lohan jokes
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June 10, 2012
Miami defeated Boston in the Eastern Conference Finals Saturday night. Interesting phenomenon in this series. Most of America was rooting for the Celtics, and most of those rooting for the Heat were just doing so in hopes of seeing the Thunder beat them in the finals.
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As my friend Tony Alan Banks said, “I just felt a thud and heard a sound. I think it was America jumping on the Oklahoma City bandwagon.”
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Ben Roethlisberger and his wife of a year Ashley, are apparently expecting a son. The Steelers QB announced this on his website, saying “It is truly a blessing and we are so excited!” Especially since the baby isn’t a girl, so Ben won’t have to warn the child “Stay away from men like Daddy.” –
What’s a bigger shock this weekend, that the Washington Nationals are on the verge of sweeping the Boston Red Sox. Or that so far in 2012, the Nationals are unquestionably the better team.
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Spain is the latest Eurozone country that looks to be in need of a bailout. Maybe what President Obama REALLY should have done with this mess of an economy is have the U.S. join the Euro and then cry for help?
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Not that I’m a boxing fan, but from what I read tonight’s welterweight boxing split decision win of Timothy Bradley over Manny Pacquiao was controversial enough many think the U.S. Supreme Court had to be involved.
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Regarding New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s plan to ban large sugary drinks – wonder if he hopes to have it in place in time for the July 4 Nathan’s hot dog eating contest? –
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The Devils have forced game 6 against the Kings? Most Americans hearing this are asking “Is this some sort of religious competition?”
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Mitt Romney keeps talking about throwing President Obama out of office because he hasn’t fixed the economy in 3 1/2 years. But how about this quote: “Most turnarounds in American industry are anywhere between four and five years. And we’re at the beginning of the journey, not the end of the journey.” From that noted liberal Meg Whitman, now at HP.
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Now that “I’ll Have Another” is out of the Belmont Stakes, who was the favorite? Yeah, alas I didn’t care either.
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Union Rags ended up winning the Belmont Stakes today in a time of 2 minutes, 30 42/100 seconds. Over six seconds behind Secretariat’s 1973 2 min 24 second record and one of the slower Belmont’s ever. If the 3 year olds weren’t all male, you might have thought they stopped to ask for directions.
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Regarding Mitt Romney’s anti-Obama comment “He says we need more firemen, more policemen, more teachers. Did he not get the message of Wisconsin? The American people did. It’s time for us to cut back on government and help the American people.” Uh, wonder if Mitt has a private security and fire force for his mansion?
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And we wonder how the “dumb jock” label got started. Denver Broncos LB D.J. Williams tweeted a picture of his digital playbook: The picture revealed several defensive formations. (Apparently a team official called him and the tweet was removed.)
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Belmont Stakes jokes, Janice Houghs, Miami Heat jokes, Romney jokes. NBA jokes, Triple Crown jokes
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June 9, 2012
So now that “I’ll Have Another,” has been scratched from the Belmont, and our best hope of a horse racing Triple Crown is gone another year, should we really start consider setting the bar down to a “Double Crown?” –
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I’ll Have Another”, scratched for the Belmont for a tendon injury. Damn. Let’s hope he wasn’t washing his truck or something.
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Anyone want to guess the no-show percentage tomorrow for a sold out Belmont Park?
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I’ll Have Another has now formally been retired. What’s the difference between NBA players and thoroughbred racehorses? The players don’t wait until retirement to go out to stud.
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Lindsay Lohan apparently went to the emergency room with non-life threatening injuries today after totaling her Porsche in a accident today. So congratulations to all those who had June 7 in the pool. –
Detroit Lions lineman Nick Fairley, arrested May 27 for the 2nd time this spring:”I want to personally apologize to my fans, teammates and the organization for bringing this unwanted attention to our team. I recognize my actions were inexcusable and I personally need to uphold the expected standard of behavior of a professional athlete.” Over-under on how many times we’ll hear this same statement in 2012? –
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The bidding is up to $3,500,000 for the opportunity to have lunch with billionaire Warren Buffett. The first piece of investment advice Buffet will no doubt give the winner? “Don’t spend $3,500,000 on a lunch.”
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Even casual horse racing fans were disappointed by the news that “I’ll Have Another” has tendonitis and won’t be able to run for the Triple Crown tomorrow. Romney strategists are trying to figure out how to blame this on Obamacare.
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Six Mariners pitchers combined tonight for a no-hitter against the Dodgers. Long-suffering Seattle fans who didn’t see the game had only one question – did the team win?
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Paraguay’s president, Fernando Lugo has admitted he is the father of a 2nd out of wedlock child, (claims from 2 MORE women are pending. Lugo fathered these children while he was a Roman Catholic bishop. No word from the Vatican; presumably they are at least relieved Fernando was sleeping with adult women.
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The first match in the Eurocup 2012 was today. With no U.S. team playing, this means Americans could start ignoring the soccer tournament right from the beginning.
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To the driver of the little black BMW convertible driving at least 45-50 mph in a Palo Alto school zone, weaving in and out of traffic, and then running the light as it turned red, one question. Did the car make you a a**hole, or were you that way when you got it?
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11,000 San Francisco residents lost power this afternoon. Does this make them honorary SF Giants?
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Curt Schilling, an ardent small government conservative, and supporter of many GOP candidates, moved his video game company to Rhode Island in exchange for $75 million in state loan guarantees in 2010. The company, 38 Studios, filled for bankruptcy today. Where’s the Mitt Romney photo op on this one?
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: "I'll have Another" jokes, belmont jokes, Janice Hough, Lindsay Lohan jokes, soccer jokes, Triple Crown jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
June 8, 2012
Triple Crown Candidate “I’ll Have Another” has a Twitter account. Well, the horse is probably more likely to say something intelligent than most professional athletes..
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T.C’s comment “Remember, if you don’t have a bet, it’s just horses running in a circle.”
(hmm, that’s a close paraphrase of how I’d describe NASCAR.)
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Nice game from Lebron James Thursday night. Doesn’t mean America has to make “The Decision” to like him.
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The crazy derby continues: In Arizona a super PAC supporting GOP candidate Jesse Kelly has an new ad featuring the candidate holding a gun. Kelly is running for Gabrielle Giffords’ congressional seat. Your move, Florida.
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Bill Clinton says he supports Obama and is “very sorry for this stirring up.” He adds that he did not mean to undermine the President with his comments on tax cuts and Romney’s business record. Gosh, who’d a thunk it? Bill not thinking about possible consequences of his actions….
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Chad Ochocinco was released today by the Patriots. So guess we say Ochocinco was Ocho-seis’ed?
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Mitt Romney said in a anti-Obama speech today that “I will not be that president of doubt and deception.” Yep, with Mitt there’s no doubt about his deceptions.
The Philadelphia Phillies, with a $174 million payroll, are under .500 and were just swept by the Dodgers? With that kind of pay to performance ratio who do they think they are – – Congress?
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Villarreal soccer coach Manuel Preciado, 54, passed away from a heart attack Thursday, one day after being hired. Sad, but at least he died with a perfect record.
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The CDC conducted an anonymous national survey in 2011 that found that 58% of high school seniors said they had texted or emailed while driving during the previous month. Which means that about 40% of kids lied about it. –
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Three home runs for the SF Giants Thursday in their 8-3 win over San Diego. The hardest thing for the players involved? Remembering how to do that trot.
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Boston mayor Thomas Menino was trying to praise the Celtics and referred to KJ and Hondo instead of KG (Kevin Garnett) and Rajon Rondo. The team may end up getting a call from the President, but Menino appears to be angling for a call from Joe Biden.
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New Orleans’ newspaper the Times Picayune has announced a switch to a three day a week printed paper format, with other days of the week being online over. Brennan’s restaurants of New Orleans have announced a “Cocktails for a Cause” promotion, where proceeds from a number of specialty drinks will go towards keeping the paper going seven days a week.
Not surprisingly, this promotion is receiving a lot of buzz online.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Florida jokes, Ochocino jokes, Romney jokes. Arizona jokess, Triple Crown jokes
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June 7, 2012
How young are the Oklahoma City Thunder? For example, Russell Westbrook and Kevin Durant, both 24, are basically the same age Mark Madsen was during his senior year playing basketball at Stanford.
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On the other hand, how old are the San Antonio Spurs? Well, they won’t win the NBA championship, but at least the team’s playoff winnings should be supplemented by Medicare.
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Jeb Bush said in an interview today that he probably should have run for president in 2012: “This was probably my time.,” Translation “These clowns in the primary made even my brother look smart by comparison.”
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Some seem surprised that most of the Sandusky jurors have ties to Penn State. Uh, folks, the trial is in Bellefonte, Pennsylvania, population 6,187, 12 miles from the PSU campus. Why else would you move there WITHOUT ties to Penn State?
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Sports fans in Los Angeles may not normally pay much attention to hockey. But they are really getting into this idea of a Kings sweep to win the Stanley Cup. In fact, when asked on Wednesday, many of them said they can’t wait for the night’s kickoff.
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Ya think Bill Clinton still misses the presidential limelight? At this point it would be a close call to measure him and Donald Trump for the larger ego.
June 6 was the 44th anniversary of the death of RFK after he was assassinated following the California primary. Had he lived, Kennedy would be 87 years old. Or as Larry King would say “Still a mere child.”
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In the latest installment of the second Roger Clemens perjury trial, a expert paid by the defense testified that Clemens’ DNA found on a syringe needle could have been placed there intentionally. Here’s the real question at this point. Is there anyone left in America who really cares anymore? –
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45 people were just indicted in Puerto Rico for drug smuggling. American Airlines employees were allegedly transporting and loaded suitcases filled with cocaine to the cargo area, and putting them on flights to Miami, Orlando and Newark. Hmm, was it a tip off that the luggage handlers were working really really fast?
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Regarding Wisconsin: I am no fan of Scott Walker, but it still strikes me that recalls are a waste of money. You have buyer’s remorse, wait until the next election and think about your vote more carefully the next time.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: airline jokes, hockey jokes, Janice Hough, Oklahoma City Thunder jokes, Penn State jokes, Spurs jokes
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June 6, 2012
At the time of writing this post, California’s Proposition 29, which would put an additional tax on cigarettes and other tobacco products, is too close to call.
Or, as cash-strapped smokers may be saying if the tax passes, “Close, but no cigar.”
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Whatever the outcome in Calfornia, as has been true in other states, turnout was so low you’d almost think voters think our politicians are spending someone else’s money.
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The Boston Celtics beat the Heat in Miami Tuesday night 94-90. Most Floridians haven’t been this disappointed since a local Denny’s ended their “Early Bird Special” 10 minutes early.
So much flopping in these NBA playoffs I’m wondering when the refs will start handing out red and yellow cards.
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Jury selection is underway for former Penn State football coach Jerry Sandusky’s child sex abuse trial. Assume jurors will get, along with their stipends, a voucher for a daily hot shower.
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A U.S. official says a drone strike in Pakistan’s has killed al-Qaida’s #2. Wonder who will be the first in the GOP to blame Obama?
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The #2 title in al-Qaida may be the only position with less job security than being named Oakland Raiders’ head coach.
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Wonder how many people are unfriending the friends who suggested they buy Facebook stock?
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A recent survey says most Facebook users disregard advertising on the site. Facebook has ads? –
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Fans of the Los Angeles Kings, who have won the first games of the Stanley Cup, 2-1, 2-1 and 4-0, taunted New Jersey Devils fans with large cardboard cutouts of Jersey Shore stars. Was that really appropriate? The Jersey Shore cast members are at least known for their scoring.
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Manny Ramirez’s 50 game suspension is over, but even with a third of the MLB season finished the Oakland A’s don’t have a timetable to bring him up from Triple A. Undaunted, Manny says he still expects to make a big contribution in the season’s second trimester.
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Mitt Romney said his personal Hotmail email account was hacked, after someone guessed the name of his favorite pet.
Okay, Mitt wants us to trust him to be the leader of the free world and lead us through tough times, and the man still uses Hotmail and an easy password?
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Rush Limbaugh is attacking Barack Obama’s ads that offer supporters a chance to win dinner with the Pres, his wife, Sarah Jessica Parker and Anna Wintour. Saying “The whole thing is a fraud. Anna Wintour is not interested what (the winners) have to think, neither is Obama or Michelle or Sarah Jessica.” Uh, as opposed to Mitt Romney and Donald Trump when they did their contest?
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: election jokes, facebook jokes, Miami Heat jokes, Prop 29 jokes, Sandusky trial jokes
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June 5, 2012
Open note to all Californians. On June 5, please remember to vote – lots of primary races plus Propositions. Not voting means that until the next election you will have forfeited all bitching rights.
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A beer at the London Olympics will cost $11 USD this summer. $11?! “Is the government subsidizing prices”, asked Yankees fans?
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The Kings are one win away from the Stanley Cup after their 4-0 win tonight over the Devils. Not to say that sports fans in Los Angeles really don’t get hockey, but when told the score many commented “Nice shutout, who was pitching?”
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Of the top 20 picks in today’s MLB draft, 12 were chosen right out of high school. Which means they’ll spend about as much time in college classes as most of the NBA “One and dones.” –
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George Zimmerman’s lawyer said Zimmerman made a “mistake” not revealing he had raised over $100,000 at his original bail hearing, adding “We feel the failure to disclose these funds was caused by fear, mistrust, and confusion.” Uh, “fear, mistrust and confusion.” Sounds like part of what got Trayvon Martin shot in the first place. –
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Celene Dion admitted on the Today show about “My Heart Will Go On,” that “If I just count how many times I’ve sung it, maybe it’ll get me sick.” Millions of Americans said, “Join the club, honey.” –
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A CNN Electoral Map says the 2012 Presidential election will come down to only 7 contested states – Colorado, Florida, Iowa , Nevada, New Hampshire, Ohio and Virginia. Isn’t it nice to know our founding fathers fought for a system that makes our individual votes for president in the other 43 states basically meaningless? –
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Starbucks just bought a small SF bakery chain (La Boulange) to start adding French pastries to their food offerings. Coming soon, the $10 croissant?
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The SF Giants say that Freddy Sanchez, whose return has been slowed most recently by back issues, may start taking some light batting swings. When Sanchez returns to the lineup will the giveaway at A T & T Park be plastic flying pigs? –
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The two largest counties in Florida have stopped purging voter names after a Department of Justice said it was illegal. In their defense, state officials said that with recent actions in Arizona, Florida had felt they needed to move fast to keep their “Craziest State in the Union” status.
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Since contract talks with the NFL Referees Association “remain unresolved” the NFL said they will immediately begin to hire and train replacement officials, adding “our goal is to maintain the highest quality of officiating for our teams, players, and fans.” Uh “maintain?” Really? –
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The Washington Wizards will stay with formerly interim coach Randy Wittman for next season. Makes sense, who else would want the job?
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Donald Trump now says he is not a racist because he picked Arsenio Hall as the winner of Celebrity Apprentice. Right. So what’s next, the Donald will go to the NBA finals and say he should be elected president of the NAACP?
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From Bill Littlejohn: Last week was the 75th birthday of the Golden Gate Bridge. It’s the only man-made thing on Earth suspended longer than Sean Payton.
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Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Cubs jokes, election jokes, Florida jokes, NFL jokes, Starbucks jokes, Trump jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
June 4, 2012
Nice win for the Boston Celtics in OT tonight. As they take over the temporary mantle of “America’s ABM Team.” (“Anyone But Miami.”)
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Two Ohio State football players were arrested Saturday night on charges of “obstructing official business.” (Apparently this involved public urination and running from police.) Well, looks like coach Urban Meyer is well on his way to repeating his record at the University of Florida. (31 Gators arrested in 6 years.)
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Actor Jason Alexander said on CBS’s Late Late Show that he considers cricket a “gay” sport. Today he apologized saying that conversations with his gay friends led him to realize his insensitivity, and that at first he didn’t grasp why some might object to the comment. Really? If true Alexander may not be bigoted, but he sure is stupid.
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Okay, time for another question where the ulltimate response is “Okay, all of you liars put your hands down.” As we head into June, how many baseball fans had Barry Zito with as many wins, and fewer losses, than Justin Verlander?
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Barry Zito, now 5-2 with a 2.98 ERA (Really.), was married over the winter. So maybe he’s proving Casey Stengel’s old adage. “Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It’s staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in.”
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Joe Biden’s daughter Ashley was married Saturday. Dad should be finishing up his toast to the happy couple any time now.
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All these headlines about “Desperate Housewives” star Kathyrn Joosten dying. I and no doubt others would probably rather see “R.I.P Mrs. Landingham.
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Richard Dawson, the first host of Family Feud, has died at 79. Services are pending, once his relatives find out the answers to “What are the most importnat things to have at a funeral?”
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Former Oklahoma State University state and Jacksonville Jaguars top pick Justin Blackmon is in jail this morning after an “aggravated DUI” charge. Stanford fans are thinking, what a shame, especially that it couldn’t have happened the night before the Fiesta Bowl.
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Hugh Hefner and former fiancee Crystal Harris are back together, about a year after Crystal called off their wedding at the last minute. Guess the 86 year old Hef is the forgiving sort, either that or he just doesn’t remember being dumped.
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Regarding that Phoenix mom who drove off with her baby in a car seat on the car’s roof, Mark Ricklis says “Willard said he did not see any problem with the her travel arrangements.”
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Biden jokes, Hugh Hefner jokes, Janice Hough, Miami Heat jokes, Richard Dawson jokes, Zito jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
June 3, 2012
Phil Mickelson is leading a group trying to buy the San Diego Padres.
Hope someone has told him the Padres’ propensity for low scores is not, as in golf, a good thing
.A 19 year old Phoenix woman was arrested on child abuse and aggravated DUI charges after police say she left her five-week-old baby strapped in a car seat on top of her car and drove off. Poor mom. Had she just done the same with a puppy she might have been offered a job with “Arizonans for Romney.”
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An Al Jezeera documentary says that the U.S. Govt at Guantanamo Bay is torturing prisoners with songs from Sesame Street? Really? I don’t think our government would do that. Torture with “It’s a Small World,” maybe.-
Oops, A brain surgeon had to enlist the help of a company with metal detectors after he buried an engagement ring on a Florida beach for a surprise proposal, and then FORGOT where he put it. They found the ring, and his girlfriend did accept the proposal. Guess this goes under the category “Well, it’s not brain surgery.”
A new report finds football players who are caught smoking pot face particularly lenient penalties in the SEC, with Georgia, Kentucky and Mississippi State the only schools who suspend athletes at all for the first positive test. “I’m shocked”, said absolutely nobody. –
The city of Oakland officials are offering $100 gift cards to residents who hand over a working gun at the Oakland Police Department today. Not a bad idea, as long as the gift cards cannot be used to buy more guns.
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“Turn back the Clock” day today at A T and T Park, as the teams wear uniforms from 1912. If the Cubs and Giants really wanted to be authentic, however, one of them would have signed Jamie Moyer.
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Uh, define “work.” In an SFGate.com story by Henry Schluman, SF Giants star Melky Cabrera talks about living with his mom “When I made my major-league debut I told her, ‘That’s it. You don’t work anymore. I’m going to work and take care of you. I need my mom for moral support plus to do the house things. I don’t know how to cook. I don’t know how to wash. So my mom does that for me.'”
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After his on-air tirade against an umpire resulted in a reprimand of undisclosed details from MLB commissioner Selig, Chicago White Sox announcer Ken “Hawk” Harrelson said it “won’t happen again.” Translation, ‘I heard from Bud, I choose to keep my job.”
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Comments: 2 Comments
June 2, 2012
Watched the replays from Johan Santana’s first ever “No-hitter” for the New York Mets. Guess this puts the Mets forever on the list of teams against fair or foul instant replay.
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Passenger on a Taiwan to Los Angeles flight last weekend were surprised to see a songbird flying down the aisle.. A flight attendant caught the bird and turned it over to Customs on arrival.. No word on what flight the bird was on, but we know it’s not an U.S.carrier – they would have charged passengers an extra music fee.
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Matt Kemp’s back on the DL, along with Troy Tulowitzki, Jered Weaver, Roy Halladay, Pablo Sandoval, etc. etc. Will this year’s MLB All Star Game be sponsored by Blue Shield?
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Just once could ESPN humor those of us sports fans who are Tigered-out and actually run a headline about who is LEADING a golf tournament, not how Woods is doing on a given day?
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My friend George was surprised to see President Obama in an Oakland library, but then realized it was a life-size cardboard cutout. Coincidentally he next ran into a life-size cardboard cutout of Romney, but then realized it was the real Mitt.
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This weekend England is celebrating their Queen’s Diamond jubilee. Wow. Who knew Elton John had been recording for 60 years?
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You cannot make this “stuff” up dept: Thursday New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg banned large-sized sugary drinks. Friday he signed a proclamation marking the 75th annual National Donut Day.
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John Edwards’ baby mama Rielle Hunter has announced she has written a soon to be released book about their love affair, titled “What really happened: John Edwards, our daughter and me.” Well, there is some justice after all. Looks like with their daughter Quinn, John has been sentenced to have to deal with Rielle for the rest of his life.
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Well, United Airlines is finally doing something to cut the total number of delays at Houston-Intercontinental Airport by 5 %. They anounced they are cutting their total number of flights by 10%
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The SEC says they want a four “best” team playoff for the college football championship. Presumably as long as the conference can have two of the four teams.
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A 32 year old, who was just named “Teacher of the Year”, at his Texas middle school has been arrested and charged with sexting with a 15-year-old girl student. Once again implying, it may not be safe to allow heterosexual teachers in the classroom.
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The Toyota Prius became the world’s third-best-selling car in the first quarter of 2012. Only third? Then how come there’s always one in front of you when you’re in a hurry on the freeway?
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Yet more “You can’t make this ‘stuff’ up.” A Northern California woman used a stolen credit card at a Safeway. But she used her OWN Safeway Club card to get discounts. “Thank you very much,” said the police who then arrested her at her home.
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Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Bloomberg jokes, John Edwards jokes, Mets jokes, New York jokes, stupid crooks jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
June 1, 2012
Watching the Scripps National Spelling Bee – at this point a Caucasian is as likely to win the tournament as one is to win the NBA MVP title.
Heck, most Caucasians can’t even spell the winner’s name: Snigdha Nandipati
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As a friend says, sometimes the saving grace of humanity is that crooks are stupid: A Santa Maria man was arrested and charged with attempting to sell methamphetamines after he accidentally sent a text about selling the drugs to a wrong number, which turned out to be that of a local police officer.
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The FDA rejected the Corn Refiners Association’s bid to have “High fructose corn syrup” renamed “corn sugar.” Presumably they would have accepted a more honest alternative “butt enlarger.”
Not a great week for Mark Zuckerberg. Now the news is out that he and his wife were at lunch on their honeymoon in Rome and didn’t leave a tip. The best tip, of course, would have been “Don’t buy Facebook stock.”
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The Justice Dept ordered Florida to halt their attempted purge of suspected non-citizens from the voting rolls, on the same day a Federal court struck down the state’s new election law which tightly restricts voter registration groups. Here’s a simpler idea to guarantee a fair election in November: Declare Florida the only Southern State to have won the civil war, and thus officially seceded. –
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Mitt Romney made a surprise campaign appearance today in front of the former headquarters of Solyndra. Here we go…. Wonder how long it will take the Obama campaign to stop in front of the former headquarters of Enron or Lehmann Brothers.
And while Mitt Romney is attacking Solyndra, if he wants to go after recent debacles with taxpayer money, wonder why he’s saying nothing about 38 Studios? They were a video game company that received $75 million in loan guarantees in 2010 from the tiny state of Rhode Island, and just laid off all their employees. I’m sure it’s not just because the company founder was Red Sox ace and ardent GOP support Curt Schilling….
Some conspiracy theorists are wondering if the NBA somehow rigged the lottery so that the league-owned New Orleans Hornets got the first draft pick. Really? As if the NBA is competent enough to rig a lottery….
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Groaner of the day from Marc Ragovin: “Researchers with an aviation historical society have found a cosmetics jar that they believe may be linked to Amelia Earhart. Of course. Its vanishing cream.”
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As bad as the U.S. political scene is now, it could be worse. Just imagine if we were dealing with the impeachment trial of President John Edwards.
John Edwards may have been found not guilty of one charge today, and had a mistrial declared on the other five. On the other hand, he was still sentenced to a lifetime of being a punchline.
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And after the trial, John Edwards did admit he had done a I did an awful, awful lot that was wrong. If I want to find the person responsible for my sins it is me and me alone.” But he then added, after saying he was so proud of his oldest daughter Cate for being with him throughout all this process, a statement about “my precious Quinn who I love more than any of you could ever imagine, who I am so close to and so grateful for.”
Quinn is 4, and I feel sorry for the little girl. But John, really? She wasn’t watching today, (well, I hope Rielle didn’t have her watching), so you think he could have waited on that comment? There really are two Americas, the real one, and the fantasy world John Edwards inhabits.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: corn sugar, Curt Schilling video game company, John Edwards jokes, John Edwards trial jokes, spelling bee jokes, stupid crooks jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
May 31, 2012
Mack Wolford, 43, a “serpent-handling” West Virginia pastor, died after his rattlesnake bit him during a church ritual. He had told the Washington Post in 2011 that he watched a snake kill his father in the same ritual 28 years ago. Not sure if Darwin is laughing or crying.
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Some said Jesse Orosco only stayed in the big leagues because he was a left-handed pitcher who could consistently get Barry Bonds out. In the same vein, the Diamondbacks’ Paul Goldschmidt has to be wishing Tim Lincecum pitches forever to give him the same opportunity. Goldschmidt has 12 HRs in his career – Four are against Lincecum.
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So when Mitt Romney did a fundraiser with “birther” Donald Trump, he said he didn’t always agree with his supporters and vice-versa, but he needed that 50.1%. Now, President Obama actually quit Jeremiah Wright’s church, but nonetheless by that standard is Romney saying attacks by his SuperPACs linking Obama and Rev. Wright are off limits?
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Despite the SF Giants-LA Dodgers rivalry, most San Jose residents don’t seem too upset about the Kings being in the Stanley Cup finals. In fact, when asked how they feel about Los Angeles winning the NHL championship, the most common response from Northern Californians was “Los Angeles has a hockey team?
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Steve Spurrier is now proposing that college athletes in revenue-producing sports, such as men’s basketball and football, be paid “approximately $3,500 to $4,000” on top of their scholarships to cover living expenses. And SEC players howled – “No way are we taking that pay cut.”
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Who says there’s no sympathy between rivals in baseball. Los Angeles Dodgers star Matt Kemp left tonight’s game after re-aggravating the left hamstring that put him on the DL already this year. And the SF Giants and their fans are saying to him “Hey, take care of yourself, rest, and for heaven’s sake don’t rush back.”
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This John Edwards jury deliberation is lasting longer than one of John’s $400 haircuts.
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Donald Trump has tweeted “What could be better than dinner with @MittRomney and me?” Well, for starters, a root canal.
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SF 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh said the 49ers always wanted to keep Alex Smith, and regarding their “pursuit” of Peyton Manning: “It’s phoney, even the perception we were pursuing him. We were evaluating him.” Sounds like the same rationale some married men use while chatting up young women in hotel bars.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, Dodgers jokes, SF Giants jokes, snakes jokes
Comments: 4 Comments
May 30, 2012
The Vatican is saying they “consider the publication of stolen letters to be an unprecedentedly grave immoral act,” Right. As opposed to all that less gravely immoral stuff involving altar boys.
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The only problem with long weekends is Tuesdays that feel like Mondays. With more work.
(proving this, not hitting the right keys so Tuesday’s post got published Wednesday.)
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A much thinner Barry Bonds showed up at A T and T Park last Sunday and chatted with reporters, saying that his new sport is cycling. Cycling?! Well, good to see he’s moved on to a sport where he won’t have to deal with PED rumors.
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Donald Trump is back to spouting his “birther” theories to anyone who will listen and give him airtime. Even Sarah Palin is beginning to think the Donald is a media whore.
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Now that most people, Donald Trump excepted, have moved beyond the birth certificate issue, a conservative blogger is now offering $20,000 for Barack Obama’s college transcripts. Right, because back in 1990 Harvard set in place a vast conspiracy to make a lousy black student editor of the Law Review so he could be President of the U.S. 18 years later.
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Question of the day about Facebook stock, now down over 20% from its IPO price: How long until the Romney campaign tries to pin this on Obama?
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Mitt Romney gave a speech in Colorado where he said of the recovery “‘Look, things are getting a little better, aren’t they?’ And the answer is yeah, things are getting a little better in a lot of places in this country, but it’s not thanks to (Obama’s) policies.” Now what’s still bad, that’s ALL Obama’s fault.
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Michele Obama has written a book- “”American Grown: The Story of the White House Kitchen Garden and Gardens Across America,” which also includes tips for gardening and healthy eating. Wonder how long it will take Sarah Palin to criticize the volume as more meddling in American lives.
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Mitt Romney refuses to repudiate Donald Trump, even with the birther claims, saying “You know, I don’t agree with all the people who support me and my guess is they don’t all agree with everything I believe in. But I need to get 50.1 percent. “Uh, not exactly.” responded Al Gore.
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Serena Williams lost in the first round of the French Open. Which is a shocking headline even though most Americans had no idea they were currently playing the French Open.
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Well, the Chicago Cubs have finally found the cure for a 12 game losing streak – play the San Diego Padres.
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United Airlines is advertising their celebration of 75 years serving Denver. Curiously enough, 75 years is what most people would probably estimate to be their lifetime elapsed time waiting out delays on flights through Denver.
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Fox News Chief Roger Ailes’ last week gave a talk at Ohio University where he accused the New York Times of publishing a questionably sourced article about him. Only one problem, the article in question was never in the New York Times. Details, details.
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The San Antonio Spurs have a 20 game winning streak. Out of habit, the 1972 Miami Dolphins are getting worried.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: facebook jokes, Janice Hough, vatican jokes
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May 28, 2012
Isn’t the phrase “Happy Memorial Day” an oxymoron?
Or at least a non sequitur?
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The Miami Marlins’ Juan Carlos Oviedo, caught playing under the fake name of Leo Nunez, has been suspended by MLB for 8 weeks for age and identity fraud. The pitcher will be eligible to return July 23. Guess he’ll be known around the clubhouse as the “player to be named later.”
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Mitt Romney is promising to maintain a U.S. military with “no comparable power anywhere in the world.” Uh, considering we already outspend the rest of the top 15 countries combined, that shouldn’t be hard.
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The Cubs, losers until Monday of 12 in a row, are ranked 30th on ESPN’s Major League Baseball power rankings. The only way this is likely to change? If they get usurped by the future winner of the College World Series.
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Facebook is apparently working on developing a phone. Great, all we need, random calls from “people you might know.”
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Bill Clinton made headlines this week for posing for a picture in Monaco with three porn stars. But to be fair, Bill probably didn’t recognize them with their clothes on.
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On the other hand, the San Antonio Spurs won again today, continuing their remarkable 19 game winning streak. Although the team is impressive, they just don’t seem to capture the public’s imagination. Why, no one can remember the last time a Spur got arrested or fathered a child out of wedlock.
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Detroit Lions DT Nick Fairley has been arrested in Alabama for the second time in 2 months, this time for DUI and attempting to elude police. Is Fairley trying to get traded to the Bengals? –
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Sen. Chuck Schumer is urging U.S airlines to waive their fees for preferred seats (i.e. most aisles and windows) to allow families with young children to sit together. Bet a number of mothers are thinking “NO!” At least now I have an excuse to abandon the kids in a safe place for a few hours.”
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Three women in this year’s Indy 500 and not much hype or commotion. Of course, none of them do provocative television commercials.
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Really? According to the U.K. Justin Bieber is wanted for questioning by L.A. County Sheriff’s investigators after a photographer claimed he was roughed up at a local mall. So just how money-publicity hungry do you have to be to admit to being “roughed up” by Justin Bieber.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Janice Hough, Justin Bieber jokes, NBA jokes, Romney jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
May 27, 2012
Memorial Day weekend generally is considered a sign of approaching summer. Another sign – we only have about another month left in the NBA playoffs.
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Another sign of summer. Cubs fans already saying “wait until next year.”
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The Atlanta Braves were hoping Chipper Jones, 40, would make a quick recovery from his bruised calf, but they finally put him on the 15-day DL today. On a brighter note, some of the medical costs should be covered by Medicare.
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Manny Ramirez made his first appearance last night for the AAA Sacramento River Cats. The River Cats drew over 9000 for the game. Wonder if in Manny’s honor pregnant women got in free?
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Donald Trump is talking again about how he believes President Obama was born in Kenya. You know what that means – the Donald doesn’t think he himself is getting enough press coverage again.
Three women in today’s Indy 500 and not much hype or commotion. Of course, none of them do provocative television commercials.
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Michael Vick is in Las Vegas for a youth charity football camp, and appeared at a kickoff event at a local Toyota dealership to sign autographs and pose for pictures. So many people complained on the dealership’s Facebook page that they shut it down. Have to wonder, would as many people be upset if it was O.J.?
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As we enjoy the first unofficial weekend of summer, congrats to the Boston Celtics for getting to the Eastern Conference semi-finals. Making them at least temporarily “America’s Team.” At least for those of us who can’t take the Heat.
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Mitt Romney said in a recent interview that he sees politics as “like a sport for old guys.” Exactly, “old guys” owning the Red Sox or Yankees.
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Shocking news. Pope Benedict XVI’s butler has now been formally charged over suspicions he leaked a large number of confidential letters addressed to the Pope about alleged corruption at the Vatican. Even more shocking about this scandal -no altar boys were involved.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: baseball jokes, Indy 500 jokes, Janice Hough, summer jokes
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May 25, 2012
When the President visited Redwood City on his visit this week, a local strip club put up this sign
They should have said – “Welcome Secret Service.”
Or as my friend Ian said “Welcome to San Mateo County. $5 off a lap dance with your Secret Service ID.”-
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In Boxford, Massachusetts a police spokesman reported a herd of cows got loose and wandered into a backyard party. Then (no joke) they started knocking over beer cans and drinking the beers. Creating presumably a new phenomenon – self tipping cows.
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Score from South Florida Thursday night: SF 14 – Miami 7. Uh, who scheduled a preseason NFL game and didn’t tell us?
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Berkeley (California) Police Chief Michael Meehan, facing criticism over having 10 police officers search for his son’s stolen iPhone, said it wasn’t “some kind of preferential treatment,” but is something the department “would do for anybody in the city.” Is Meehan smoking something or does he think his constituents are?
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Lady Gaga is facing criticism from some Thais when she tweeted after landing in Bangkok that she wanted to go to the market and “buy a fake Rolex.” And some folks in New York City are saying “Hey, what are our street vendors? Chopped liver?”
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Despite the massive mess that has become the Facebook IPO, Morgan Stanley did make a lot of money on the deal. This quote from another underwriter: “We think (they’ve) done pretty well. Reputation of the bank aside, Facebook hasn’t been a bad trade for Morgan.” Other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?
A private jet landed safely at Ft. Lauderdale’s airport after losing a door while aloft. The door crashed onto a nearby golf course. Major airlines are studying the story and thinking about adding a “door reinforcement” fee.
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A rumor in an Australian tabloid said that Kim Kardashian is abusing Valium, but her spokeswoman reportedly replied “It is impossible to be as successful as Kim if you are abusing pills. Her drug is work” Uh, fine, can anyone tell me what work Kardashian actually does?
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President Obama answered questions on Twitter tonight. This was one campaign function Barack would never delegate to his V.P. No chance Biden ever gets his thoughts under 140 characters.
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Yankees general partner Hal Steinbrenner is denying a NY Daily News story that his family is considering selling the team: “It is pure fiction, the Yankees are not for sale.” Translation, no one’s made us a high enough offer.
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United Airlines is no longer allowing families with small children to board early. Now if they can just start restricting those who act like small children.
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HP shares rose after the company, now led by CEO Meg Whitman, announced better than expected profits AND plans to eliminate 27,000 jobs. Can’t imagine how folks like Whitman and Mitt Romney get the reputation of just helping the rich get richer.
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An alternative High School in Brooklyn, N.Y. will have 500 condoms available for free at the school’s June 7 prom. Some controversy on this, but okay, does anyone really think kids go “Well, I’d never have sex otherwise, but since condoms are available, why not?”
Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Biden jokes, cow jokes, Kardashian jokes, Obama California visit, secret service jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
May 23, 2012
Wonder if we’d get more turnout in November elections if real voting meant that Americans got bonus votes that could be used for American Idol?
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Trivia for the night: Both the SF Giants’ Buster Posey and American Idol winner Phillip Phillips are from the same town – Leesburg, Georgia, population just under 3000.
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Arizona’s secretary of state just said he will put the President on the ballot in November, because he has now received information from Hawaii that verifies Obama is a legitimate citizen. Shame someone can’t come up with a reason to question Arizona’s legitimacy as a state.-
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Cognitive dissonance of the day: Mitt Romney says if elected he will cut U.S. unemployment rate to 6%. Meanwhile he is touting Meg Whitman, current CEO HP, as someone who should have been elected Governor of California.. And HP just announced layoffs of 27,000 employees.
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Small silver lining with this recent IPO – “Timeline” is no longer considered Facebook’s biggest disaster.
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Will people who bought Facebook stock at the IPO price be known as Zuckers?
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California Gov. Jerry Brown is threatening that public schools might need to shorten their school year by as much as a month if voters reject his plan to raise taxes in November. Prompting millions of California schoolchildren to urge their parents to “just vote no.”
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MLB commissioner Bud Selig says he doesn’t think more TV replay is needed, at least not right now. Translation, the Yankees don’t want it.
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Oil prices fell below $90 a barrel for the first time all year today. Waiting to see how the airlines turn this into a new surcharge.
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Interesting statistics on Presidential fundraising so far: 53% of President Obama’s donors gave under $200. 57% of Mitt Romney’s donors gave the maximum of $2500.
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SF Supervisor John Avalos got national attention for saying he used a Ouija board to ask the ghost of Harvey Milk how he would feel about having a U.S. Navy vessel named after him. Some people apparently didn’t realize he was joking. But come on folks, a Ouija board? Really. Everyone knows in SF they use a Magic 8 Ball.
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Moral of story – never steal anything when you don’t understand the technology. A Disney Cruise Line employee is now on “administrative leave.” After pictures taken with a stolen iPhone, including some showing his face and name badge, showed up on the phone owner’s Photostream, an app that automatically uploads photos to the users iCloud account. Oops.
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Snooki has announced that while she was hoping for a girl, she knows she is expecting a boy this September. Disappointing all those with a secret sick wish to see some of those mother-daughter outfits.
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Donald Trump is promoting himself as a potential keynote speaker for the Republican National Convention. Before he does, can the Donald produce a long form birth certificate for that furry thing that lives on his head?
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From Marc Ragovin: New York Rangers coach John Tortorella suggested that the team’s fans say a prayer for the offense. Well, since they are averaging about 2 goals a game throughout the playoffs, maybe we should start with the Kaddish.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: American Idol jokes, facebook jokes, Janice Hough
Comments: 6 Comments
May 23, 2012
The “Player formerly known as Ron Artest” about the Lakers’ loss “(We) definitely underachieved,” World Peace said. “We were the best team in the NBA and lost in five (games).” Never thought I’d write this sentence, but for now, I think we’ve all had enough of World Peace. –
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Constantly seeing this Facebook ad for “Maverick PAC.” It asks me to “Join our network of conservative, young professionals.” So what’s the bigger miss here, that I am conservative, or that I am young?
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Another thought on the latest craziness out of Arizona. The state. at the instructions of Sheriff Joe Arpaio, paid to send a deputy to Hawaii to look into Obama’s birth certificate. But they don’t want to waste taxpayer money on birth control?
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The outgoing president of the South Carolina AFL-CIO was seen on video bashing a pinata of Governor Nikki Haley’s face at a retreat last weekend. This prompted two responses from the GOP: 1. Outrage. 2. Quick, hide the Obama pinatas.
A young child escaped with minor injuries after his parents put him in a laundromat washing machine as a joke, and the machine automatically started running. Shame parenthood doesn’t at least have the same rules the Humane Society requires to adopt a pet.
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Wall Street is definitely defriending Facebook.
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How far does Facebook stock have to fall before the GOP blames it on Obama.
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The US Airways flight that diverted to Bangor over a security threat was apparently because a woman said she had “a device surgically implanted inside her.” Let’s hope implants don’t start putting people on the no-fly list, or it will ground half the women in Los Angeles.
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A US Airways flight from Paris to Charlotte has been diverted to Bangor due to a so far unspecified “security issue.” Wonder how many passengers are already demanding that the airline credit them with the extra frequent flier miles. –
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Eugene J. Polley,, 96, has died. He was the inventor of the televison remote control. Funeral plans have not been finalized but a number of speakers apparently will be alternating back and forth in short rapid stints at the service.
Deliberations continue in the John Edwards trial. Wonder if jurors are still trying to find some reason to make being a scumbag a criminal offense
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Not saying tonight’s game five between the Heat and the Pacers was rough, but the winner may be sanctioned by the WWE.
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“American Idol” final competition Tuesday night. Not to be confused with the Lakers and Clippers, who are “L.A. Idle.”
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Cncinnati Reds pitcher Aroldis Chapman was arrested for speeding (93 in a 71 MPH zone) and driving with a suspended license. This about a year after Reds pitcher Mike Leake was arrested for shoplifting. Who do these guys think they are – Bengals?
Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: American Idol jokes, Arizona jokes, Lakers jokes, travel jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
May 22, 2012
So who expected this in 2012. What’s the difference between the Clippers and the Lakers? About 24 hours.
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As the Thunder rolled, how many disappointed Los Angeles sports fans thought back earlier this spring, well, at least we’ll have the Kings?
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Another question, who had the Kings as the last team playing this spring in the Los Angeles Staples Center? Okay, all of you liars put your hands down.
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Yahoo has named Ross Levinsohn their fifth CEO in four years. At this point the only job with less security in the SF Bay Area is coach of the Oakland Raiders.
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The Dodgers have put 5 position players on the DL in the last two weeks, and have won 10 of their last 12. If they get a few more injuries Los Angeles could really run away with the division.
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Former Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling, an avowed anti-big government conservative, received $75 million in loan guarantees from Rhode Island to move his video game company there in 2010. Now the company is failing and the state is on the hook. Once again, government waste = money that doesn’t directly benefit ME.
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The next time Schllling rants against Democrats, hope someone tells him to put a bloody sock in it.
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In California, Congression candidate Andy Caffrey, who has a medical marijuana prescription, has promised that if he wins, he’ll smoke a joint — “right on the steps of Capitol Hill.” Uh, maybe he should pass the joint around. Might get more bipartisan agreement if they were all stoned.
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Last week a Romney interview in the National Review praised Meg Whitman, and said she would be a better governor for Calif. Jerry Brown. The same day a story broke that Meg’s new company, HP, was going to lay off 30,000. (And somewhere Mitt is thinking, and the problem with that is…?)
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Four suspects were arrested after beating up a man Sunday after the Los Angeles-St. Louis baseball game in the Dodger Stadium parking lot. (The victim is in stable condition.) To be fair, the accused are almost certainly not real Dodgers fans, otherwise they would have been gone after the 7th inning.
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The Coast Guard has picked up 160 bales (about 7,000 lbs) of marijuana, floating off the coast of Southern California. In related news, fisherman in the area report great luck by baiting their hooks with Doritos.
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A jersey worn by Babe Ruth sold for $4.4 million. Apparently it still has a mark on it from when the Babe was hit by a pitch from Jamie Moyer.
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Dick Cheney will host a fundraising event at his home in Jackson Hole, WY for Mitt Romney. Mitt wasn’t sure the former V.P. was willing to help, but Cheney reputedly said, “Sure, he’d take a shot at it.”
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According to the DOT the 17 biggest U.S. airlines collected $3.36 billion in checked bag fees in 2011, down slightly from $3.4 billion the year before. Although they carried more 1.3% more psgrs than in 2010. This news surprises absolutely no one who has watched the musical chairs game for the overhead bins during boarding.
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From TC – (Jay Leno used almost an identical line tonight, wonder if he saw it in comments this morning on last night’s post): “Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg married his long time girl friend Priscilla Chan. They have already left for their honeymoon in Farmville.”
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Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Curt Schilling jokes, Janice Hough, Lakers jokes, Los Angeles jokes, marijuana jokes, Yahoo jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
May 20, 2012
Mark Zuckerberg wore a hoodie to Wall Street and a suit and tie to his wedding. Good to see the young man has at least some of his priorities in order.
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A 73 year old woman became the oldest to climb Mount Everest. And the oldest presumably to do with with her left caribiners flashing the whole way.
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“I’ll Have Another” won the Preakness Saturday, putting himself in position to win horse racing’s first Triple Crown in 34 years. Or as Cubs fans say “Only Yesterday.”
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Are horses really athletes? Well, they don’t get arrested, say stupid things or otherwise embarrass themselves publicly. But there are those out of wedlock offspring….
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Three years after he was released from prison because he was dying of prostate cancer, convicted Lockerbie bomber Abdel Baset al-Megrahi passed away in Libya. “How sad,” said absolutely nobody.
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Two of the strongest signs that President Obama, while far from perfect, seems likely to win re-election over Mitt Romney? GOP talking about Reverend Wright and birth certificates.
Three starters on Florida’s softball team have been suspended for the season, for undisclosed reasons but allegedly over an stupid altercation. Well, once again Title IX has given women the right to show they can compete with male athletes.
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Mick Jagger on SNL season finale last night. Guess they wanted a musical guest old enough to remember when the show was actually funny.
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Speaking of old, from Bill Littlejohn: “The world’s oldest yoga teacher is still going strong at 93. His name—-Maharishi Mahesh Moyer.”
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Rick Santorum’s campaign ended up $2.2 million in debt, a debt that actually increased after he quit the race. And this is a man who was going to balance the Federal budget?
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R.I.P Robin Gibb. Insert bad “Stayin’ Alive” joke here:
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Open note to RFK Jr.: If you’re trying to correct your image as a cheating douche bag after your estranged wife commits suicide, probably not a great idea to include in your eulogy at the funeral: “I know I did everything I could to help her.”
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Preakness jokes, Zuckerberg jokes
Comments: 7 Comments
Left Coast Sports Babe 