Posted tagged ‘Indy 500 jokes’

Gentlemen, coast your engines…

May 29, 2016

Alexander Rossi, who won the Indianapolis 500, decided not to pit late, so was running on fumes and literally coasting as he finished the race. So how many men will start explaining running out of gas to their wives and girlfriends – “Really, I was just trying to emulate an Indy driver.”

Auto racing is weird. How many other sports have the “highlights” later basically be a blooper tape? ‪#‎crashes‬ ‪#‎Indy500‬

Ah for the good old days, when on Memorial Day weekend Americans who liked to watch complete wrecks could watch the Indy 500, instead of our Presidential race.

Really? The ‪#‎Indy500‬ is now being marketed as part of the “Verizon IndyCar series?” ‪#‎howthemightyhavefallen‬

So the ‪#‎Dodgers‬ are coming to SF to play the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ in 2 weeks. Is it too late to organize a ‪#‎Giants‬ laser pointer giveaway? ‪#‎LaserGate‬

Lost in yesterday’s ‪#‎SFGiants‬ 10-5 win vs ‪#‎Rockies‬: Winning pitcher Cory Gearrin also got his 1st at bat. And 1st hit. ‪#‎PitchersWhoRake‬

Donald Trump has apparently narrowed his potential running mates to a “very small” list. Because there are only a “very small” number of people who will run with him?

 

Bernie Sanders today on “Meet the Press” said that while he thinks Donald Trump would be a “disaster” as President,  it is “the candidate’s job,”  to draw voters in — not the second-place finisher’s job to instruct them on how to vote.

For all Bernie’s talk about changing the Democratic party, that was sure spoken like a man who is planning to switch his registration back to Independent after the election is over.

 

Shouldn’t an 8-3 lead in the 9th inning at ‪#‎CoorsField‬ be counted as a save situation? ‪#‎SFGiants‬ ‪#‎Rockies‬

 

 

Wow. The Mets’ Asdrúbal Cabrera a home run hard off ‪#‎Kershaw‬. Who does he think he is? Madison Bumgarner?

Meanwhile, Kershaw has more than 200 million reasons to get over it. But as much as I dislike the Dodgers, have to admit,  manager Davy Roberts pulls him in the 8th with two outs and a runner on first. The reliever promptly gives up the tying run, and get the win when the Dodgers come back in the 9th.  #baseballisacruelgame

 

From T.C.  “I know nusink about US politics, but I used to play ‘Bridge’. “3 No Trump” sounds like it may be a rallying slogan for his opposition?”

Signs of summer.

May 27, 2012

Memorial Day weekend generally is considered a sign of approaching summer. Another sign – we only have about another month left in the NBA playoffs.

Another sign of summer.  Cubs fans already saying “wait until next year.”

The Atlanta Braves were hoping Chipper Jones, 40, would make a quick recovery from his bruised calf, but they finally put him on the 15-day DL today. On a brighter note, some of the medical costs should be covered by Medicare.

Manny Ramirez made his first appearance last night for the AAA Sacramento River Cats. The River Cats drew over 9000 for the game. Wonder if in Manny’s honor pregnant women got in free?

Donald Trump is talking again about how he believes President Obama was born in Kenya. You know what that means – the Donald doesn’t think he himself is getting enough press coverage again.

Three women in today’s Indy 500 and not much hype or commotion. Of course, none of them do provocative television commercials.

Michael Vick is in Las Vegas for a youth charity football camp, and appeared at a kickoff event at a local Toyota dealership to sign autographs and pose for pictures. So many people complained on the dealership’s Facebook page that they shut it down. Have to wonder, would as many people be upset if it was O.J.?

As we enjoy the first unofficial weekend of summer, congrats to the Boston Celtics for getting to the Eastern Conference semi-finals. Making them at least temporarily “America’s Team.” At least for those of us who can’t take the Heat.

Mitt Romney said in a recent interview that he sees politics as “like a sport for old guys.” Exactly, “old guys” owning the Red Sox or Yankees.

Shocking news. Pope Benedict XVI’s butler has now been formally charged over suspicions he leaked a large number of confidential letters addressed to the Pope about alleged corruption at the Vatican. Even more shocking about this scandal -no altar boys were involved.

Race day..

May 29, 2011

Aka, “there’s no NHL playoffs, there’s no NBA playoffs, it’s a holiday weekend so other than baseball so what’s on TV besides CSI reruns?”

 

Both Dale Earnhardt, Jr and J.R.Hildebrand’s cars were sponsored Sunday by the National Guard, whose motto is “Always Ready, Always There.” Well, apparently except for on the last lap.

How bad are gas prices? Apparently even Dale Earnhardt Jr was tempted into not quite filling the tank today.

JR Hildebrand has a twitter account. Wonder if his last tweet today was “Wow about 2 win Indy 500…. Oh sh*t”?

Hildebrand may have lost the Indy 500 with his crash into the wall on the last turn. But he has a potential great opportunity to make a commercial warning kids not to text and drive.

On Fox News today John McCain said “Of course” Sarah Palin can beat Obama. And millions of Americans breathed a sigh of relief. Had we elected John in 2008 the country would be dealing with a sitting President suffering from at least early stage dementia.

Scientists have found that near starvation diets make everything from mice to monkeys live longer, and they are speculating that severe calorie restriction might help humans live longer too. Either that or going without ever eating anything bad for you makes every day feel like forever.

First Trump, now Mitch Daniels. The GOP contenders who have decided not to run for President both say they could have won. Is this an election or a remake of “On the Waterfront?”

Dallas QB Tony Romo got married Saturday. And to the surprise of many Cowboys fan, he made it through the important ceremony without dropping the ring.

 

Wonder if there’s some loophole that would allow USC and Ohio State to compete next year in the “Probation Bowl?”

Beyond the current penalties for the current team, there are rumors the NCAA may take away USC’s 2004 football National Championship.  The operative word being “may.”  And of course “when?”  Are they waiting until players on that year’s team have children who are of college recruiting age?