Posted tagged ‘Belmont Stakes jokes’

Close but no Chrome

June 8, 2014

secretariat

Once again, a picture though to remind us  of maybe the greatest athlete ever. And a win that will never be equaled.

 

Saturday might have been the only time New Yorkers have been sorry to see a Californian lose.

The stars looked like they might have been aligning for California Chrome for a Triple Crown. Another miraculous event occurred Saturday – the Cubs were on a five-game winning streak.

Carolina Panthers Coach Ron Rivera says he voted against his QB Cam Newton for the cover of ‘Madden 15’ because of the curse. So somewhere in a closet is there a dusty copy of “Madden 1909” featuring the Cubs?

North Korea says they have detained a U.S. tourist. Wonder what the alleged crime is? Being stupid enough to be a U.S. Tourist in Korea?

 

Hertz says they have to review and correct financial statements from the past three years after an internal audit found accounting errors. “I’m shocked.” said no one who regularly reviews their own car rental bills.

 

 

Sacramento guard Jason Terry said today he thought Spurs coach Gregg Popovich had something to do with the broken air conditioning during San Antonio’s Game 1 win. Of course, because everyone knows that it’s being overheated that helps age and treachery overcome youth and skill

Bartolo Colon, 41 against Tim Hudson, 38.. A battle for the aged. #SFGiants #Mets

Two words guaranteed to strike fear in the hearts of New Yorkers: “Mets Bullpen.”

You know it’s going well when you win a game where tying run in the bottom of the 9th gets on base via a strikeout. #SFGiants #walkoff

Best thing for #NYMets fans Saturday night. The #SFGiants game ended past their bedtimes.

 

 

Not standing the Heat.

June 10, 2012

Miami defeated Boston in the Eastern Conference Finals Saturday night.   Interesting phenomenon in this series. Most of America was rooting for the Celtics, and most of those rooting for the Heat were just doing so in hopes of seeing the Thunder beat them in the finals.

As my friend Tony Alan Banks said, “I  just felt a thud and heard a sound. I think it was America jumping on the Oklahoma City bandwagon.”

Ben Roethlisberger and his wife of a year Ashley, are apparently expecting a son. The Steelers QB announced this on his website, saying “It is truly a blessing and we are so excited!” Especially since the baby isn’t a girl, so Ben won’t have to warn the child “Stay away from men like Daddy.” –

 

What’s a bigger shock this weekend, that the Washington Nationals are on the verge of sweeping the Boston Red Sox.  Or that so far in 2012, the Nationals are unquestionably the better team.

Spain is the latest Eurozone country that looks to be in need of a bailout.  Maybe what President Obama REALLY should have done with this mess of an economy is have the U.S. join  the  Euro and then cry for help?

Not that I’m a boxing fan, but from what I read tonight’s welterweight boxing split decision win of Timothy Bradley over Manny Pacquiao was controversial enough many think the U.S. Supreme Court had to be involved.

Regarding New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s plan to ban large sugary drinks – wonder if he hopes to have it in place in time for the July 4 Nathan’s hot dog eating contest? –

The Devils have forced game 6 against the Kings? Most Americans hearing this are asking “Is this some sort of religious competition?”

Mitt Romney keeps talking about throwing President Obama out of office because he hasn’t fixed the economy in 3 1/2 years. But how about this quote: “Most turnarounds in American industry are anywhere between four and five years. And we’re at the beginning of the journey, not the end of the journey.” From that noted liberal Meg Whitman, now at HP.

Now that “I’ll Have Another” is out of the Belmont Stakes, who was the favorite? Yeah, alas I didn’t care either.

Union Rags ended up winning the Belmont Stakes today in a time of 2 minutes, 30 42/100 seconds. Over six seconds behind Secretariat’s 1973 2 min 24 second record and one of the slower Belmont’s ever. If the 3 year olds weren’t all male, you might have thought they stopped to ask for directions.

Regarding Mitt Romney’s anti-Obama comment “He says we need more firemen, more policemen, more teachers. Did he not get the message of Wisconsin? The American people did. It’s time for us to cut back on government and help the American people.” Uh, wonder if Mitt has a private security and fire force for his mansion?

And we wonder how the “dumb jock” label got started. Denver Broncos LB D.J. Williams tweeted a picture of his digital playbook: The picture revealed several defensive formations. (Apparently a team official called him and the tweet was removed.)