Author Archive
October 18, 2014
The Seahawks are going to trade WR Percy Harvin to the NY Jets. Seattle will apparently receive a conditional draft pick in 2015. Harvin will receive the month of January off.
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Apparently the James Spence Authentication company, has authenticated more than 2,000 signatures from FSU QB Jameis Winston. Hey, maybe the guy’s majoring in penmanship?
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25 years ago October 17 was the Loma Prieta Earthquake. At section 21 at Candlestick Park I must confess, my first thought was “Bleeping A’s fans doing the wave.”
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So now a Carnival Cruise ship has been forbidden to dock in Belize because a passenger on board helped care for the Ebola patient in Dallas. Well, and if vomiting is a symptom of the disease no chance of any of that on a “Fun Ship…”
Who says the #NYJets can’t be first in anything this year? The NY Post reports “According to the Elias Sports Bureau, the Jets are the first team in NFL history to lose a game with 40 minutes of time of possession (40:54), 200 rushing yards (218) and no turnovers.”
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A Texan tourist was accidentally locked in a London bookstore for three hours when he walked in late and didn’t notice that the Waterstones store was closing. And all over Texas people are going “see, books are dangerous!”
A Michigan funeral home has started a new “drive-through” viewing service, so people don’t have to get out of their cars to pay their last respects. And if they text while they are driving through do potential customers get future discounts?
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No baseball for next four days. :(. Might have to just keep rewatching win from last night.
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Retired FSU coach Bobby Bowden just said that Jameis Winston “does things that kids in grammar school would do.” And plenty of parents are thinking “Hey, our grammar school kids behave better than that.”
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All this fear mongering over a major health hazard facing about to hit the USA just might be overblown. And besides, the McDonald’s McRib will only be rolled out regionally.
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Despite an expected legal challenge from the NFL, Gov. Chris Christie signed a bill that allows sports betting at casinos and racetracks in New Jersey. Guess the league thinks if fans want to throw away money they should go to Jets and Giants games.
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Apparently almost 60 percent of the almost 1 million early votes cast in this year’s midterm elections are in Florida. Well, duh, and how many of them were cast early enough in the day for voters to make it to those early bird specials?
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Heard on a train to San Francisco with 20 somethings discussing reading. “On paper? You mean like a book form?”.
From Bill Littlejohn: “According to a CNN.com report, you can now rent a virtual girlfriend in China for about $3. ‘Now they tell me,’ said Manti T’eo.”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Carnival Cruise jokes, Ebola jokes, Florida jokes, Harvin jokes, Jameis Winston jokes, janice jokes, Jets jokes, McRib jokes, NYJets jokes, Texas jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
October 17, 2014
SF Giants chicks are back to digging the long ball.
Congrats to Travis Ishikawa. Most Americans had no clue who he was yesterday, and now he’s trending on Twitter.
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No Cain, no Pagan, no Scutaro. Effectively no Lincecum. And no Belt or Morse for much of the year. #cockroaches #sfgiants. #worldseries
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Somewhere Bob Brenly is smiling. #redemption #SFGiants #WorldSeries
But the lead column on Fox Sports tonight. “If you think Matheny deserves to be ripped, you’re right.” Because of course Joe Buck’s network couldn’t say the SF Giants actually might have deserved to win this one.
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Back in June heard SFGiants GM Brian Sabean say how Joe Panik wasn’t ready for the big leagues yet. Hard to imagine how good the kid might be when he IS ready.
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A new study finds that four areas of the San Andreas Fault in Northern California are now “overdue” for a significant quake. So why should Ebola have all the fear fun?
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Apparently Florida Gov. Rick Scott refused to start his debate against Charlie Crist when Crist had a fan under the podium, because of a ban against electronic devices. ( Which was intended to keep them from using computers-laptops-phones….)
Got it. So Scott would have been okay with Crist waving a big paper fan while he talked?
How amazing was the #SFGiants win tonight to get to the #WorldSeries? They knocked the #NYJets latest loss right off #ESPN front page.
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Ann Romney said today she is still “done” with the idea of Mitt running again, but added “you know, you never do say never.” “Atta girl,” said Brett Favre.
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A judge found Donald Trump “personally liable” for knowingly operating his former Trump University without a license. So the Donald is in trouble because HE didn’t have a valid certificate.
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Seems like many of the same people whose retirement plan is to win the lottery are also convinced they’re going to get Ebola.
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Both LeBron James and Dirk Nowitzski are saying the NBA season should be shortened from 82 games. Good thing they are stars, otherwise the two might be fined for making too much sense.
From T.C. “The NBA is considering shortening their games from 48 to 44 minutes. I’d go with 46, as it’s the last two minutes that take forever.”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Ebola jokes, NBA jokes, NLCS jokes, Romney jokes, SF Giants jokes, World Series jokes
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October 15, 2014
KC Royals pitcher Jeremy Guthrie apologized for wearing a T-shirt saying “These O’s aint’ Royal” — a pun on a Chris Brown song. Yeah, really unfair this week to compare Baltimore to Chris Brown, the O’s weren’t hitting anything.
Congrats to Kansas City. Now FOX has a whole week to convince potential viewers that Royals really are America’s Team
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The Royals scored their two runs to win today in the first inning without a hit out of the infield. Who do they think they are, the #SFGiants?
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SF Giants have scored 22 runs in their last 6 post season games. Of those, 10 runs were scored by way of a hit. #smokeandmirrors
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So wonder what Andrew Friedman’s first act running the Dodgers will be. Other than trying just to buy the Royals
-On “The Jim Rome Show,” Bo Jackson said Jameis Winston is ignoring his advice. “I have communicated with him, and I just talked to him like I was his dad.” Yeah, and Winston is probably listening to Jackson about as much as many cocky 20 year olds listen to their dads
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Florida State coach Jimbo Fisher said they are confident Jameis Winston wasn’t paid for autographing memorabilia. And F$U has million$ of rea$on$ to believe that.
Actual items in a grocery ad today. Pumpkin Spice Salsa, Pumpkin Pasta Sauce, Pumpkin BBQ Sauce and, no joke, Organic Pumpkin Pet Food…. Anyone but me counting the days until Halloween and this pumpkin craziness is over?
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Dallas Cowboys coach Jason Garrett said RB Joseph Randle will be fined significantly for his shoplifting arrest. Wonder if the exact amount of the fine will depend on whether or not Garrett shoplifted NFL approved merchandise.
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Ebola is not contagious through the air. But after a second nurse with the virus was found to have flown on Frontier Airlines from Cleveland to Dallas, Frontier issued a statement saying “the aircraft received a thorough cleaning per our normal procedures.” “Normal procedures.” Yeah, that’s what Americans are afraid of…..
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Wonder how many Americans are getting so stressed out about #Ebola that they are taking up smoking?
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Meanwhile, many in the GOP are calling for President Obama to appoint an Ebola “czar.” So they can then turn around and say how bad a job that czar is doing.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes
Tags: Ebola jokes, Jameis Winston jokes, Janice Hough, NFL jokes, Orioles jokes, Royals jokes, SF Giants jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
October 14, 2014
Texas Gov. Rick Perry, speaking in London, telling his English audience “You always sound so darn smart and refined no matter what you’re saying.” And no doubt many in the crowd are thinking “It’s not just the accent that makes you sound so dumb.”
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But also let me get this straight, in Texas, they are upset that the CDC and President Obama haven’t done more against Ebola. Mark this down, Texans are Cocomplaining that the Federal Government hasn’t done enough to interfere in their state.
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Really? Cowboys RB Joseph Randle was arrested last night for shoplifting underwear and cologne in at a local Dillard’s. Wonder if the reaction in Dallas front office was, well at least he didn’t hit anybody.
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Apple and Facebook will now cover the costs for women employees who want to freeze their eggs and delay having children. Makes sense, why use those young and energetic years for motherhood when you can work 80 hour weeks for your company?
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We’re coming up on the 25th anniversary of the Oct 17, 1989 “World Series” earthquake. Wow. They actually used to play the World Series during mid-October?
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Alabama TE Kurt Freitag’s status is probably in jeopardy after police searched his dorm room last week and allegedly found 112 grams of marijuana and $4,661 in cash. Thinking this sort of thing presents a major recruiting opportunity for Colorado and the University of Washington.
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Dodgers have now hired Andrew Friedman from the Tampa Bay Rays as their new president of baseball operations. Well, money can’t buy happiness. But Friedman may be about to see it also can’t buy chemistry.
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Tickets for the Cal vs Oregon football game next Friday at Levi’s Stadium are now 2/3 off at Groupon. Might be a good time to check the place out. With Cal’s defense and Oregon’s offense there probably shouldn’t be too much traffic leaving late in the 4th quarter.
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The SF Giants are doing their best to give all baseball fans in the Bay Area a free cardiac stress test. #NLCS
#SFGiants won at 4 20. Anyone see what Lincecum might have been doing to start a rally in the dugout?
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Anyone know how many ways there are to score without a base hit in baseball? #SFGiants seem bound and determined to show us ALL of them.
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The Royals were almost never on ESPN or FOX during the season, and they still aren’t. But watching them the last couple weeks I find it hard to believe that this team ever lost.
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Meanwhile for SF Giants (and St. Louis Cardinals) fans who were watching tonight’s KC Royals and Orioles game – – Amazing how much fun close game is when your heart isn’t set on one outcome. #NLCS #ALCS
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The NHL Florida Panthers announced attendance of 7,311 last night. Or as the Montreal Expos used to call that, a packed house.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes
Tags: Cowboys jokes, Ebola jokes, Janice Hough, marijuana jokes, NLCS jokes, Royals jokes, SF Giants jokes, Texas jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
October 13, 2014
Game 3 of the ALCS was been postponed due to rain. Which means the lead sports story Monday was Monday Night Football. So at least that didn’t change.
The game was scheduled to be on TBS, had it been scheduled for ESPN no doubt the network would have run a “Derek Jeter’s greatest playoff moments” retrospective.
The Baltimore Orioles are no doubt particularly disappointed that Monday’s ALCS game was rained out and not just delayed. Playing in serious mud might be the only way to slow the Kansas City Royals rabbits down.
#Rams looked like they could use #MichaelSam on defense #49ers #MNF
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How can you not love #HunterPence? Apparently he made his own sign “Hunter Pence will work for ring.” #HunterPenceSigns #SFGiants
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NC State suspended 7 players this week for a “BB gun incident” involving a “game with the guns” last week. A game with guns? Wonder if the players were immediately offered transfer opportunities to schools in Texas or Florida?
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A photo has been circulating showing Ole Miss star DL Robert Nkemdiche allegedly using a bong. Coach Hugh Freeze says “appropriate measures were taken.” Translation, Nkemdiche has probably been suspended for the 1st quarter of the Nov. 8th game vs Presbyterian.
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So NBC News’ Dr. Nancy Snyderman’s violated an Ebola quarantine to get some SOUP at Peasant Grill in New Jersey. What’s the restaurant’s new slogan going to be “Soup worth dying for.”? #cantfixstupid
Wouldn’t it have been simpler for #jameiswinston if he just traded autographs for crab legs? #FSU
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The head of the NIH said that budget cuts might be the reason we don’t have an Ebola vaccine, which the agency has been working on over a decade. But really, why should we let all this fear and hysteria turn into a discussion about money and science?
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A psychologist said Oscar Pistorius is a “broken man” after shooting his girlfriend last year. Yeah, apparently the pain is affecting Pistorius’s relationship with the new girlfriend he met last December.
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A social worker testifying for the defense in the Oscar Pistorius trial said that an appropriate punishment for Pistorius would be 16 hours of community service, house arrest (in a mansion), and that he should be allowed to continue with his career as an athlete. Even Los Angeles juries are thinking “Are you nuts?”
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Points for honesty. Senator Mitch McConnell, who reported that he is worth $11.97 million, debated challenger Alison Grimes tonight, and argued against increasing the minimum wage. Grimes challenged McConnell about having become rich in office but not caring about the poor.
His response “To claim that I got rich at public expense — she knows that that’s a result of an inheritance that my wife got when her mother passed away.” In other words, I inherited my money fair and square.
Former NY Times executive editor Jill Abramson said that Condoleezza Rice asked the paper in 2003 to kill a story on the CIA not being able to stop Iran’s nuclear program. Standby for FOX News to explain to us all how Barack Obama really made her do it.
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And Columbus Day is over, a semi-holiday for most Americans with banks and the post office and some schools closed, but most offices open. And many want to change the name. But as Alex Kaseberg says “Personally I think we should stay with Columbus Day. Go to your job, do half of what you were supposed to do, declare it a huge success and then get as many people sick as you can.”
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes
Tags: ALCS jokes, Ebola jokes, FSU jokes, Jameis Winston jokes, Mitch McConnell jokes, MNF jokes, Nancy Synderman jokes, NCAA jokes, Oscar Pistorius jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
October 13, 2014
Since NLCS games 1 and 2 weres basically being called by St. Louis home town announcers can the SF Giants Mike Krukow and Duane Kuiper call game 3 for Fox Tuesday?
The advantage of watching #SFGiants on FOX. All game stress is mitigated by ability to scream at TV regularly due to idiocy of Joe Buck
(and the above two are not sour grapes, I wrote both lines when the Giants were tied or winning.)
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But okay, if anyone had told #SFGiants fans that their team would have given up four home runs on mistake pitches while hitting ZERO home runs themselves, and the team would be returning to AT&T tied 1-1, (with Yadier Molina probably out for the series), they would have been ecstatic.
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Taylor Swift quoted on the cover of People Magazine. “It would take an astonishing human being for me to even consider getting back in a relationship.” Well, either that or a bad case of writer’s block.
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As bad as day as the Jets had, this week they didn’t even look like the worst team in New York. Or rather, New Jersey.
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MSU #1 in the new coaches poll. Ole Miss #3. So a lot of sportswriters and copy editors are finally finding a use for that old M-I-S-S, I-S-S, I-P-P-I spelling chant from grade school.
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USC escaped with a 28-26 win Saturday night despite 13 fourth quarter points from Arizona when the Wildcats’ kicker missed his third FG of the game, a 36 yarder with 12 seconds left. Trojan coach Steve Sarkisian said “God’s got a plan, but we’re not exactly what his plan is for us yet.” And God said, “don’t blame me for all these lousy Pac12 placekickers.”
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Raiders fans egged the Chargers’ team bus as it arrived at O.co Stadium for today’s game. Fortunately, since this was Oakland, most of the eggs were intercepted.
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After last night’s NASCAR race in Charlotte, Matt Kenseth and Brad Keselowski ended up fighting in the garage. If this sort of thing starts happening near the track it could double ratings.
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Wonder how many Americans are so worried about #Ebola that they are now reading updates on their phones while driving?
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John McCain now wants a “health care czar.” And hey, the post of Surgeon General is vacant. Why? Because Dr. Vivek Murthy, President Obama’s November 2013 nomination, hasn’t been confirmed by the Senate. Murthy’s crime, upsetting the NRA by calling guns “a health care issue” in a 2012 tweet…. #haveyounoshame
Happy Canadian Thanksgiving. A day where Canadian residents with national healthcare and reasonable gun laws look at the U.S. and feel thankful they live where they do. Of course, there’s a reason this day is in October, well before Canada deals with actual winter.
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Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Cardinals jokes, college football jokes, Ebola jokes, Janice Hough, Joe Buck jokes, McCain jokes, NLCS jokes, SF Giants jokes, Taylor Swift jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
October 11, 2014
Gay marriage is now legal in Nevada. Which means that gays can now get drunk in Las Vegas and make the same quickie marriage mistakes that straights do.
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#FOX talking about how bad the #SFGiants are without Angel #Pagan. Kinda makes you wonder how they got into the #NLCS doesn’t it?
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So how did anyone ever beat the #KCRoyals during the regular season? And are the #Royals ever going to lose again? #ALCS
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Mike #Moustakas, #9 hitter in #kcroyals lineup has 4 postseason home runs. #SFGiants #Madbum is going to take that as a challenge.
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National TV ratings for #ALCS #NLCS would be better if ESPN & FOX paid attention to 4 remaining teams during regular season. #nottheyankees
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More than two dozen teenagers were arrested at opening night of the Arizona State Fair after a brawl broke out. If only they had been armed.
How has #Royals Lorenzo Cain not been on ESPN’s Top 10 plays and Web Gems every single night of the season?
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Bit of trivia from the Royals’ 10th inning win over the Orioles Friday night – the time of game. Four hours and 37 minutes. If Kansas City ever plays an 18 inning game like the SF Giants did the concession stands better have morning coffee ready.
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Stanford’s Red Zone offense for the football season is 679, which ranks 115th out of 125 FBS (D-1) teams. Shocking. There are 10 teams who are worse?
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FSU just notified Jameis Winston that he will face a disciplinary hearing into sexual assault charges from December 2012. Presume this hearing will take place 3-4 days after the BCS national championship game?
Yep, it is all Obama’s fault. This from Phyllis Schafly , “Out of all the things he’s done, I think this thing of letting these diseased people into this country to infect our own people is just the most outrageous of all. Obama doesn’t want America to believe that we’re exceptional. He wants us to be just like everybody else, and if Africa is suffering from Ebola, we ought to join the group and be suffering from it, too. #whythereisnosatire
One reason people are so scared about Ebola is not just that it is usually fatal but also how horrible the disease’s symptoms are in its final stages. Uh, have people read about the last days of smokers who die of lung cancer?
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: ALCS jokes, Ebola jokes, FSU jokes, gay marriage jokes, Janice Hough, KC Royals jokes, Royals jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
October 10, 2014
A FOX Sports investigation alleges that FSU University officials and Tallahassee police “took steps to both hide, and then hinder, the criminal investigation into a rape allegation against Jameis Winston.” Well, not like Winston was accused of anything serious, like selling his autograph.
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The Yankees fired hitting coach Kevin Long. Right, because it’s his fault all these sluggers making over $10 million a year suddenly forgot how to hit.
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Picture below is of a Navy Seal parachuting into Stanford Stadium with flag and game ball. Of course a true Stanford Cardinal Seal would land -and stop – between the 30 and the goal line.
KC #Royals are the team every real baseball fan loves to watch in postseason. Until you think about them possibly playing YOUR team.
#Royals are doing their best to prove that playoff experience is overrated. #ALCS
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#SFGiants fans watch #Royals load bases with no out and not score. Are we sure we aren’t watching #Giants replay for June or July?
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And we wonder why there’s a gender gap. NJ GOP Senate candidate Jeff Bell on why he is losing to Cory Booker. “I’ve done a lot of thinking about this and looked at a lot of different polls, I think it has more to do with the rise in single women. Single mothers particularly are automatically Democratic because of the benefits. They need benefits to survive, and so that kind of weds them to the Democratic Party. But single women who have never married and don’t have children are also that way.”
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Another day, another quarantined plane over a passenger vomiting, this time landing in Las Vegas. And apparently a false alarm. But if someone getting sick is going to start meaning long delays, airlines may have to start upgrading the food they sell onboard.
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In case #SFGiants fans were feeling lukewarm about another postseason against #Cardinals, STL has added AJ Pierzynski to roster. #douchebag
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Why there is no satire. Gwyneth Paltrow hosted a fundraiser for President Obama, and cited his efforts for sustainable energy and also for equal pay for women which she called “Very important to me as a working mother.’” And somehow Gwyneth said it with a straight face.
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Johnny Manziel on Georgia RB Todd Gurley, suspended for accepting autograph payments. “He’s built an image for himself. He’s built somewhat of a brand I feel he should be able to capitalize off it.” And of course Manziel didn’t need to add “Like I did.”
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Will.i.am tweeted his displeasure with United Airlines for giving away his first class seat to China. “Plane leave at 1:15 I got to the airport at 12:30…@united is the worse…” Uh, as much as I rag on airlines, 45 minutes in advance at the AIRPORT, not the gate, for an international flight that boards at least 45 minutes in advance….? . Bet hundreds of passengers are glad they didn’t delay the plane for another entitled celebrity.
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The young woman who accused suspended Florida QB Treon Harris has apparently withdrawn her sexual assault claim. Alas, no way of knowing whether she made it up in the first place, or whether she decided not to go through the hell of an investigation and trial, with a lot of resources against her. But while plenty of morons talked about women provoking domestic violence don’t see a lot of people saying maybe these players shouldn’t get themselves in this sort of situation in the first place.
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From Bill Littlejohn: After his latest playoff meltdown, do we call baseball’s best pitcher—‘Clay-Rod’? –
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: FSU jokes, Janice Hough, Johnny Manziel jokes, Royals jokes, Stanford jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
October 9, 2014
Red Bull settled a $13 million class action lawsuit over customers being deceived by the slogan “Red Bull Gives You Wings..” Darn, and here I was thinking of going as a bird for Halloween and counting on the drink to give me feathers. –
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Katy Perry will reportedly perform during the Super Bowl halftime show. Well, for many men that’s two reasons to watch.
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49ers QB Colin Kaepernick was fined $10,000 for wearing pink Beats by Dre headphones around his neck Sunday, instead of the NFL-approved Bose. Hey, for that amount of money he could have chop-blocked somebody.
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So Jameis Winston is probably out of the Heisman conversation, now another hopeful, Georgia’s TB Todd Gurley, who was leading the SEC in rushing, has been suspended from the team indefinitely pending an “investigation into an alleged violation of NCAA rules.” This year’s award may end up like the Tour de France – last candidate not suspended wins.
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Now Adrian Peterson’s bail may be revoked he told a drug tester that he had “smoked a little weed” before taking a urinalysis test this week. Sigh. Maybe if Peterson had been smoking MORE marijuana he might not have hit his kid as hard.
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Amazon announced they will open their first store. Response from young adults who have grown up with Amazon Prime – “what’s a store?
Apparently the iPhone 6 has been catching and painfully plucking loose hairs when held to a user’s face. Well, that’s what people get for using the device for something radical like actually making a phone call.
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Combined ages of Hudson, Peavy & Vogelsong, the #SFGiants starting pitchers in 3 #NLDS games the Giants won, is 109. #ageandtreachery (If the Giants can coax Jamie Moyer out of retirement, maybe they’d be favored to win the World Series.)
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From T.C. “Their “Murder’s row of bats” are Panik, Posey, Pence, Panda, Perez, Pray and then Pray some more.
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Okay, it’s a convoluted story, but as I understand it, in 2012. a 25 year old single male volunteer for the President’s advance team in Colombia is accused of legally bringing a prostitute to his room in 2012 and denying it later.. And the administration may have delayed the investigation. Wow. Good thing we don’t have any serious issues to worry about.
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Sigh. A new survey finds that 58% of Americans want to ban all flights to the United States from West African countries hit hardest by the Ebola outbreak – Liberia, Guinea and Sierra Leone. Uh, number of direct flights to the US from those countries? Zero. Mission accomplished.
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Another Ebola thought: Lots of folks, especially in the GOP, screaming about closing borders and all kinds of other measures to stop the spread of the disease. When we get this epidemic under control and since AIDS is still an issue, will those same people also start telling all Americans to start using condoms?
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Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes
Tags: Colombia jokes, Ebola jokes, Janice Hough, Kaepernick jokes, Red Bull jokes, SF Giants jokes, Todd Gurley jokes
Comments: Be the first to comment
October 8, 2014
Brian Wilson will apparently be exercising his player option so LA will have to pay him $9.5 million in 2015. SF Giants fans, in the spirit of camaraderie, are offering to give Dodger fans their best cocktail recipes.
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Giants got 9 runs in 4 games. 1 home run. A lot of runs that weren’t even scored by hits. And they won the series 3 games to 1. #SFchicksdigthesmallball
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All of these experts predicting the #ALCS and #NLCS winners. Because they’ve done so well so far……#Giants #Cardinals #Royals #Orioles
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No baseball Tuesday night since the #ALDS and #NLDS series are all over. And no football as it’s Wednesday. So it was time for most Americans to start ignoring hockey.
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For hockey fans, the San Jose Sharks did start defending their unofficial title of of being “The Best Regular Season Team in the NHL.”
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Okay, it worked out if you are an #SFGiants fan. But Matt Williams is being lambasted for putting rookie Aaron Barrett into the game late last night with veteran pitchers in the bullpen. But Bruce Bochy put September call-up Hunter Strickland into the game late too. And Strickland did get through an inning, albeit with a home run bomb to Bryce Harper. #geniusifitworksidiocyifitdoesnt #NLDS
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So what’s the difference between the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim and the Los Angeles Dodgers? About 48 hours.
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The FTC just announced that AT&T will pay $105 million in fines for placing unauthorized charges for third-party services on customers’ cell phone bills. So now wonder what surcharge the phone company will add to cover the fines
Roger Goodell, talking to owners and defending the NFL’s player conduct policy. “I believe the vast majority of our players are great people.” Right, because in the US we’ve never needed criminal laws because the vast majority of Americans are law-abiding people.
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An American Airlines plane made an emergency landing in Midland, TX last night because a passenger was vomiting and there were Ebola fears. Despite the fact she had come from TURKEY, not Africa (She has already been released from the hospital). Here we go again…. Let’s hope no one gets the bright idea to put TSA in charge of taking temperatures and asking medical questions:
Open note to ANYONE who is anti-vaccine. Please just STFU about Ebola
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: baseball playoff jokes, Dodgers jokes, Ebola jokes, hockey jokes, Janice Hough, Matt Williams jokes, NFL jokes, SF Giants jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
October 8, 2014
SF Giants were 1-11 with men in scoring position tonight. Has to be voodoo.
Hunter Pence, who made an incredible catch tonight, along with a hit and a walk, was so overdue he’s been scheduled for a pitocin drip #SFGiants
(guys, ask your wives)
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Got to give props to Bryce Harper for this story relayed by a sportswriter friend. When the SF Giants Nationals game was over, apparently a Washington reporter told Harper “They stole that series from you.” And Harper responded, “No, they stole nothing. They earned this win. Write it.”
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Meanwhile, Clayton Kershaw making a strong case for the title Mr. September.
There’s a reason they vote for MVP and Cy Young at the end of the regular season.
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Meanwhile Yasiel Puig didn’t start today’s NLDS game #4 between LA and STL. Thereby disappointed Dodgers fans who were convinced he would hit a game-winning home run, and Giants fans who were convinced it would be fun to watch him strike out.
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U.N. experts of have dismissed the claim of an explorer who says he found the long-lost Santa Maria, saying that the wreck isn’t old enough to be that of a 16th century ship. What was their first clue, parts stamped “Made in China”?
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NY Jets QB Geno Smith said he was late to a team meeting in San Diego because he had confused his time zones. Yo, Geno, except that New York is three hours AHEAD of California. Not sure what Smith majored in at West Virginia, but pretty sure it wasn’t math.
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Police were called when Florida’s 2nd backup QB Skyler Mornhinweg was apparently been involved in a fight with another player. This after #1 backup QB Treon Harris was suspended after he was accused of sexual assault. Are we sure former coach Urban Meyer isn’t still somehow involved.
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Some complaints on #ESPN‘s #MLBplayoffs coverage. But we should realize by now, ESPN thinks season ended when #Jeter & #Yankees eliminated.
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U.S. Marshals found that a prisoner taken from his cell to a Washington D.C Superior court arrived at court carrying a loaded gun. Is the Secret Service in charge of D.C. jails too?
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-NY Jets coach Rex Ryan said if “we don’t get this thing – (the 2014 season) on the right track, I don’t think for a minute I’ll be here” in 2015. Not sure if Rex is more expecting to be fired or to quit in disgust.
From T.C. “”Washington Nationals coaches, managers and executives are absolutely ecstatic over losing to the SF Giants tonight. They now can rest pitcher Stephen Strasburg until next season.”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Dodgers jokes, Janice Hough, Kershaw jokes, NLDS jokes, SFGiants jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
October 7, 2014
The NFL now has a sponsorship deal with Bose which will ban players from wearing “Beats by Dre” headphones during interviews and games. Violators will be fined. Good to know Roger Goodell and the league are taking on the tough issues.
Michael Phelps was suspended from USA swimming events for six months following his DUI. Many Americans were shocked. In non-Olympic years there are swimming events?
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The conservative leaning Supreme Court Monday decided to reject requests from five states to immediately review their gay marriage bans. Maybe because now even GOP candidates told them it was a losing issue?
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Michigan State’s AD is upset with the 13,000 students who bought season tickets but mostly left early when the Spartans had a 27-3 lead in a cold wet fourth quarter against Nebraska. He said changes will be made. Right. Like selling the same tickets for a lot more money to alums who will also leave early in such conditions.
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The Jaguars apologized for their mascot mocking the Steelers’ “Terrible Towels” during yesterday’s game with a sign that said “Towels carry Ebola.” Of course the Steelers could have responded that Jacksonville was safe because the team couldn’t catch anything.
A nurse in Spain has contracted Ebola from two patients who returned from Africa. So will Rick Perry demand now that the U.S. stop all airline flights from Europe?
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Madison Bumgarner inexplicably tried to a bunt to third with runners on first and second Monday, and when the throw went wide two runs scored. Although later catcher and former high school valedictorian Buster Posey said he told him to do it. #smartmenfoolishchoices
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Monday was a painful day for #SFGiants fans. Although nice now to watch #BrianWilson and think “no longer our circus, not our monkey.” #Dodgers
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If misery loves company #SFGiants and #Dodgers are having a bromance over their 7th innings today. #NLDS
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According to the SF Chronicle, the principal of a private Marin County high school was arrested last weekend “after he was found in a Sacramento County motel room with large quantities of drugs and a passed-out woman roughly 30 years younger than him” Wonder how long it will take for the made-for-TV movie.
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So I know about the Rolaids reliever award. Are the Dodgers trying to challenge the Tigers for the Arson Squad award? #bullpenwhatbullpen?
Two men were arrested and charged with felony assault after a fight in the men’s bathroom at Levi’s Stadium before the 49ers game Sunday. Allegedly over ‘impatience for an open stall’ . Sounds like the worries over the new stadium just being filled with chardonnay swilling techies might be unfounded.
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So anyone who was surprised that Buck Showalter intentionally walked the potential winning run on base in the bottom of the 9th Sunday in Detroit clearly doesn’t remember 1998, when Buck intentionally walked Barry Bonds. With the bases loaded. (He won that game too.)
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, bullpen jokes, Dodgers jokes, Ebola jokes, Janice Hough, Michael Phelps jokes, NLDS jokes, SF Giants jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
October 5, 2014
Game time for Giants vs. Nationals is 2:07p. So SF fans won’t have to get that sudden debilitating mystery illness at work Monday until about noon.
So the AL representative in #WorldSeries will be either the Kansas City #Royals or the Baltimore #Orioles. And Fox executives just threw up.
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Still can’t get over all those empty seats in Nationals Park Saturday night in extra innings. It was if we were watching a Nationals game and an Expos game broke out.
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(And okay, so it was almost midnight and getting colder. As a veteran of the 7 plus hour Giants-Dodgers twilight doubleheader in July 1988, however, I have cred on this issue. Scott Garrelts lost BOTH games, the second about 130a.)
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On the other hand, right about now all those #49ers fans who complained about how cold it was at #CandlestickPark thinking “I take it back.” #LevisStadium
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The sunny-side of the stadium was largely empty in the second half of today’s 49ers-Chiefs game. On a brighter note, maybe the 49ers can rent out the place on weekdays as the world’s largest tanning booth?
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Randy Moss now says of playing under Jim Harbaugh with the 49ers: “He treated us men like we were still college kids at Stanford.” Does Moss mean Harbaugh overestimated most of the team’s maturity level?
Saw today’s new poll of the best 25 college teams and it inexplicably left off the #NYJets
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Although main thought watching week 5 in the #NFL. This league has a lot of mediocre football teams.
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So #11 Oregon, who beat #8 MSU by 18, is ranked below the Spartans in today’s coaches poll, and an undefeated #12 TCU is ranked below the #9 Oklahoma team they beat. Well, no one ever suggested anyone connected with college football is good with math.
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Paul Revere, founder of Paul Revere and the Raiders, has passed away at the age of 76. Please can someone get a comment from Sarah Palin on his death?
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Lots of rumors that this is Jim Harbaugh’s last year with the 49ers. This morning Jed York tweeted “Jim is my coach. We are trying to win a SB, not a personality or popularity contest. Any more questions?” Well, at least York didn’t say he was behind Harbaugh 1000%.
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Who ever thought #Jets fans would be looking back longingly to the glory days of #MarkSanchez and #TimTebow?
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More “Why there is no satire.” Todd Kincannon, former executive director of the South Carolina GOP tweeted yesterday. “People with Ebola in the US need to be humanely put down immediately.” And followed it with “The protocol for a positive Ebola test should be immediate humane execution and sanitization of the whole area. That will save lives.” And yes, he’s “pro-life.”
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Joint joke with my friend Alex Kaseberg. “What is with all the long, bushy beards on baseball players. Have not seen this many beards since Tom Cruise was auditioning potential future wives.”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, college football jokes, Harbaugh jokes, Janice Hough, Jets jokes, Levis stadium jokes, Nationals jokes, NFL jokes, SF Giants jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
October 5, 2014
18 innings. Wonder how this SFGiants Washington Nationals game would have had to go until we got to penalty kicks?
After Belt’s home run in the 18th, figured the game had gone on so long FOX announcers might actually say nice things about San Francisco Giants in hopes of just getting to go home. #SFvsWAS
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The game did only end at midnight thought, and lots of #Nationals fans had already left. Where do they think they were? Chavez Ravine? #SFGiants
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Until tonight #SFGiants pitcher Yusmeiro Petit managed to almost throw a perfect game against the Mets (8 2/3 innings), and broke the MLB record of 46 straight batters retired. But no one nationally had heard of him. Until tonight.
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Nice #Friendsarewaiting Budweiser commercial about the guy who stays with friends instead of driving home drunk. But it doesn’t show the dog pee somewhere all over the floor….
Despite a tough loss for the Cardinal, it was 40 degrees and rainy in South Bend, and 90 degrees and sunny in Palo Alto #Stanford #NotreDame
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Bobby Jindal said yesterday that President Obama should stop all air traffic from countries with Ebola. So what are the Louisiana Governor’s plans for closing his state’s border with Texas?
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Two passengers who were vomiting on the plane caused an entire United flight from Brussels to Newark to be quarantined for several hours on arrival. If vomit is enough to spark Ebola fears these days, there are going to be a lot of delays for folks flying home from Las Vegas.
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Lindsay Graham now says he “may just jump in” to the 2016 Presidential race. And Hillary Clinton is thinking this is almost as good news as having a grandchild.
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So Derek Jeter is having a big party on Long Island this weekend, which is “trending” because of reports that it’s a secret wedding. Sigh. Well, to be fair, Jeter has been out of the headlines for almost a whole week.
The SF Giants and Washington Nationals played two games and scored only three runs. But now Cal and WSU are playing an arena football game.
#Stanford can’t score, #Cal can’t play defense. This year’s “Big Game” will be subtitled “Something’s gotta give.”
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Cal wins 60-59 on a missed field goal despite giving up over 800 yards. So was the strategy to wear out Washington State’s kicker with all those PATs?
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So who figured the center of the college football world would now be Mississippi?
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From Bill Littlejohn. The U.S. Postal Service is set to unveil new Wilt Chamberlain commemorative stamps—-there are slated to be special notches on the first 20,000 of them”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Cal jokes, college football jokes, Ebola jokes, Janice Hough, Nationals jokes, NLDS jokes, SFGiants jokes, Stanford jokes
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October 4, 2014
All these #Ebola headlines are getting Americans so nervous about their health they’re lighting up more cigarettes and pouring more drinks.
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When a conference team knocks off Oregon, the national media takes it as a sign of the weakness of the Pac12, but if a conference team knocks off, say, Alabama, it is viewed as a sign of the strength of the SEC….. #overrated
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NY Jets QB Geno Smith was fined $12,000 by the NFL for shouting “f*ck you” at a fan after last week’s loss. Although the real obscenity this year has been the Jets play on the field.
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Michigan AD Dave Brandon, about crowds gathering to demand he fire football coach Brady Hoke and resign himself says “It’s “very hurtful… It’s hurtful to me, it’s hurtful to my family.” Uh, hurtful compared to sending a young quarterback back on the field with a concussion?
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Johnny Manziel says he might call Jameis Winston to give him advice on dealing with all the media attention. Well that ought to solve everything…
George W. Bush just said “I think my brother wants to be president.” That’s W., always ahead of the curve. #whatwashisfirstclue ?
(Who knows, next W might opine that he thinks Hillary wants to be president?.)
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The FCC fined Marriott $600,000 fine for jamming conference attendees’ own Wi-Fi networks at its Gaylord Opryland Resort. so that they would have to pay for the hotel’s internet. Even airlines are thinking that’s an impressive tactic.
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SFGiants Nationals game 3 now scheduled for 12n or 2p on Monday. Game 4 if needed at 530p or 6p. Looking like a 24 hour virus will hit the SF Bay Area Sunday night.
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Meanwhile in Detroit, forget the Rolaids relief award. The Tigers’ bullpen is going for being named the all time Arson Squad.
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Sad Story. But guess there aren’t too many math majors at ESPN. “The toxicology report shows former Tennessee Titans kicker Rob Bironas had a blood alcohol content nearly twice the legal limit for driving in Tennessee when he died in a one-vehicle crash. Testing released Friday by the Davidson County Medical Examiner’s Office shows Bironas had a blood alcohol level of 0.218 percent. Tennessee’s limit for driving under the influence is 0.08 percent
Okay, #SFGiants fans, now that we’ve all calmed down from this afternoon, who expected to hear this about a playoff game back in July? “Panik singles to center, and drives in Ishikawa, Peavy stops at third.”
Anyone in KC who started watching in #MLB 2014 postseason has to be thinking “OK, so baseball has 9 meaningless innings then sudden death?
Time should heal all wounds. But any other #SFGiants fans smiling to see another team take advantage of that short porch in Anaheim’s right field? #ScottSpezio #2002WorldSeries.
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October 2, 2014
Not surprisingly Secret Service director Julia Pierson has resigned. What is surprising, based on her performance in front of Congress, is how Pierson ever got the job in the first place.
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The Washington Post is deriding Julia Pierson for allegedly saying last summer that the Secret Service needs “to be more like Disney World.” Except that no one could actually sneak in without a ticket at Disney World.
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Jets owner Woody Johnson said he still thinks that Geno Smith “can be a franchise quarterback, I really do.” Of course, the franchise Johnson is talking about might be in the Canadian or Arena Football Leagues.
Ben Affleck was willing to do a nude scene for “Gone Girl” but said he told the director “But I will not wear a Yankees hat. I just can’t…” The man has his priorities straight.
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A’s GM Billy Beane said that “if we don’t have Jon Lester, I don’t think we make the playoffs.” Well, sort of. If Oakland still had Cespedes they might not have needed to PLAY the one-game playoff.
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Weird playoff trivia. Before the 2nd Wild Card was added in 2012, only four teams in each league made the postseason. If two teams tied for the best runner-up record, they would play a single play-in game. Had that system been in effect this year, the two tied NL teams would have been – the #SFGiants and #Pirates.
JPMorgan Chase said hackers broke into their system and got information from over 80 million customers – names, addresses, phone numbers and email addresses, as well as “internal information relating to such users.” But the bank claims birthdates, account numbers and Social Security numbers were not compromised. And why should we doubt them? #sarcasm
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Crooks are stupid, British award winner for the week: In Manchester, a man was caught breaking into a car in front of people training to become bouncers. Despite signs advertising the security classes. (Seven of the trainees caught and handcuffed him.)
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Supposedly in the interests of safety, an Arkansas woman has declared the gun range she owns a “Muslim Free Zone.” Let’s see, the number of people who have been killed at gun ranges by Muslims this year is one less than the number killed by little girls.
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In Louisiana, two high school English teachers were arrested after a student bragged about having a threesome with them. Parents were appalled, some fathers mostly appalled that there weren’t teachers like that in THEIR high school.
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Texas congressman Louie Gohmert has been complaining that the 3,000 troops President Obama is sending to West Africa to fight Ebola will return infected and spread the disease at home. So presume Gohmert will now be one of the first to call for a quarantine of Texas.
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Still a longshot. But if both #Dodgers and #SFGiants advance expect to see the #MadBum #Puig confrontation on TV ads a few hundred times.
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Finally, all this frenzy over a possible epidemic in the U.S. And yes, there IS a contagious disease that will kill thousands of people this year including children. It’s called influenza. Forget Ebola for a while. Get your flu shot.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Gone Girl jokes, Janice Hough, Jets jokes, MLB playoff jokes, secret service jokes, Texas jokes, wild card jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
October 1, 2014
At least three more games for the SF Giants in 2014. And this picture from 1992. When we thought the SF Giants might start the 1993 season in Tampa.
The little boy, for the uninitiated, is Brandon Crawford.
Brandon Crawford’s sister is actually dating another MLB player. A member of the Pittsburgh Pirates. #Thanksgiving #awkward
Liked baseball as a left-handed little kid, fell in love with baseball in the 1968 World Series. Mickey Lolich, 3 complete games. Tonight Madison Bumgarner channeled Lolich. But skinnier. And a better hitter.. #leftiesrule #SFGiants
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ESPN reported that Brandon Crawford’s grand slam was the first ever by a shortstop in the postseason. And speaking of shortstops, will this be the cue for another Derek Jeter retrospective?
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Donald Trump is on another Ebola rampage with the first case in the U.S., tweeting “how dumb was our President to send thousands of poorly trained and ill-equipped soldiers over to West Africa to fight Ebola. Stop all flights.”And saying we must “immediately institute strong travel restrictions or Ebola will be all over the United States-a plague like no other.”
Alas, Ebola is far less dangerous for Americans than Donald Trump.
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Have to wonder, how many Americans who are freaking out over #Ebola are also anti-vaccine.
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So the man infected with Ebola told an emergency room nurse days before he became REALLY sick, that he’d been in Liberia. And it didn’t set off any alarms. Once again, proving all the precautions in the world #cantfixstupid.
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So if we really want to contain #Ebola can we just quarantine the state of #Texas? #twobirdsonestone
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In the Arizona Fall League. baseball will test eliminating actual pitches during intentional walks, with the idea of maybe trying it in the majors. And the #SFGIants Pablo Sandoval is thinking, hey, those are hittable pitches.
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Michael Phelps was clocked at 85 MPH when he was arrested. Here’s one way to fix some of these driving issues for athletes: Make the only car they are allowed to drive be a Prius. Those things can’t get up to 85 MPH.
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Tom Brady just said of his team “We don’t have the kind of offense that’s going to perform at a high level.” And Patriots fans are thinking “What was your first clue?”
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Wow. A jury found Michael Dunn guilty of first-degree murder today for the “loud music” 2012 shooting death of 17-year-old Jordan Davis. Not often I type these words, but “Nicely done, Florida.”
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From T.C. “North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has been hospitalized with two broken ankles, apparently from wearing heels and being overweight. When his ankle extension surgery is completed, he will be the same height as his buddy Dennis Rodman.”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Brandon Crawford, Ebola jokes, Florida jokes, Janice Hough, playoff jokes, SF Giants jokes, Texas jokes, wild card jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
September 30, 2014
Most sleepless night for baseball players not with the Oakland A’s tonight? Angels catchers Chris Iannetta & Hank Conger having nightmares about trying to throw out Royals baserunners….
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Kansas City Police (@kcpolice) for the winning tweet of the night “We really need everyone to not commit crimes and drive safely right now. We’d like to hear the @Royals clinch this.”
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#As and #Royals were so unhappy about a single wild-card game they decided to play two. #ALWildcard
(Personally I think a single game playoff is wrong, but if MLB is going to have one, maybe they should at least let teams keep their 40 man September rosters… Though it might have been fun watching infielders pitch in the 16th or 17th inning…)
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Wonder how many folks went to bed on the East Coast or turned off the TV in the 7th inning of the #ALWildcard and are waking up this am “WTF?”
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In Las Vegas, the Philadelphia 76ers are projected to win 15.5 games this season. That many?
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So parents of young children were supposed to get all upset because #HunterPence dropped some F bombs on television but the AL Wild Card can feature a Viagra commercial with a sultry blonde woman saying “Plenty of guys have this issue — not just getting an erection, but keeping it.”
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Some cynics are claiming that Chelsea Clinton’s baby was perfectly timed for media impact. Ridiculous. As if anyone looking for maximum publicity would ever time an event to coincide with George Clooney’s wedding.
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Theo Epstein said the Cubs’ “goal is the NL Central title next year.” And millions of women are thinking “Yeah, our goal was to marry George Clooney too.”
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Michael Phelps was arrested last night for his 2nd DUI. Clearly this man would be better off sticking to pot.
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Biggest disappointment of MNF – Nobody found Gisele Bündchen to ask what she thought of her husband’s Patriots teammates afterwards.
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New Lakers coach Bryon Scott says he loves that “pretty much everyone has written us off. That’s obviously fuel to the fire.” Alas the fire that is fueled might be longtime fans burning season tickets.
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The NFL has quickly admitted they made a mistake penalizing Chiefs safety Husain Abdullah, who knelt in Muslim prayer last night after returning a interception for a touchdown. This would never have happened had Abdullah played for the Raiders, they don’t get any interceptions for touchdowns.
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The Rocco Forte hotel chain is offering guests booked through certain travel agents free wi-fi for up to three devices in a room. And a lot of travelers are thinking “So how do we decide which three?”
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#TonySparano was named the #Raiders interim head coach. But really, aren’t all head coaches in Oakland “interim”?
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The FCC today eliminated their local blackout rule for NFL games that are not sold out. although the league says they don’t expect to change policy, claiming in a statement “The NFL is the only sports league that televises every one of its games on free, over-the-air television.” And of course the statement was covered on NFL Network and ESPN.
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Headline about the latest alleged Secret Service fail. “Obama Rode Elevator With Armed Ex-Convict.” Of course, these days an armed ex-con COULD be an elected official from an open carry state.
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Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: A's jokes, Hunter Pence jokes, Janice Hough, NFL jokes, Patriots jokes, Royals jokes, secret service jokes, Viagra jokes, wild card jokes
Comments: 5 Comments
September 29, 2014
Monday was the first day that MLB had to survive without Derek Jeter. Tragic, really.
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A’s vs. Royals today in the AL Wild Card game. “I’ll take two teams where most Americans can’t name a single player for $500, Alex.”
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Not to say the #Patriots are getting old but rumor has it their video spy team has been using #VHS tape.
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On Monday, National Coffee Day, restaurants were giving away coffee to customers. Now at 2am EST Tuesday #NationalCoffeeDay is trending on Facebook…. Presumably because of all those wide awake people who had several cups of free coffee.
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After NC State almost upset Florida State, the Wolfpack coach caused the Seminoles of faking injures. Jimbo Fisher responded “Well, I accuse him of not knowing what he’s talking about. They’re not fake injuries. No one faked injuries, and we wouldn’t do that.” He might have added, “Really, everyone knows FSU only fakes grades and arrest reports.”
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Detroit Lions TE Joseph Fauria says he sprained his ankle when he fell while chasing after a puppy he was toilet training. The puppy now has more tackles than most of the Oakland Raiders defense.
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The #Raiders have fired #DennisAllen. Shocking. So Oakland thinks they have found someone else to take over their train wreck?
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Geno Smith yelled “F— you” at a heckler after the game at MetLife Stadium. If this keeps up, even PETA members will be calling for Michael Vick. #Jets
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In a 5-4 decision, the Supreme Court rejected Ohio early voting starting Sept. 30 instead of Oct. 7. Rationale? Presumably because the Court couldn’t figure out a way, yet, to overturn the 15th and 19th amendments.
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Joe Girardi said today he expects A-Rod to play 3rd next year, but that he doesn’t anticipate Rodriguez’s return to create a distraction. Hmm, is it time to start drug testing MLB managers?
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O’Hare Airport still has thousands of cancelled flights, and the FAA says Chicago air traffic won’t be back to normal until at last mid October. Which should be right about the time they start closing the airports for snow.
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A Southern California woman is suing the producers of “Glee” because she allegedly tripped over cables at Burbank Town Center while the series was filming there. Would be interesting to see security footage from the mall, over-under on the odds the woman was looking at her phone at the time
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Bus to hell, NASCAR version: Tony Stewart said Monday in a press conference that retiring “would take the life out of me.” Is that really the right phrase to use after killing someone with your car?
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: #NationalCoffeeday, A-Rod jokes, airline jokes, Janice Hough, Jeter jokes, Jets jokes, Nascar jokes, Patriots jokes, Raiders jokes
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September 28, 2014
The Empire State Building tonight featured blue and white pinstripes in honor of Derek Jeter. The worst thing now that Jeter has finally retired? New Yorkers have to turn their attention to the Jets.
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And yes, I know it’s about being the face of a franchise. But the sad thing, MLB has paid much more attention to the retirement of Derek Jeter than to the death of Tony Gwynn.
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The Tampa Bay Buccaneers finally won a game today. And the 2008 Detroit Lions and 1976 Bucs presumably popped some cans of generic beer.
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Teddy Bridgewater, who took over for injured Vikings QB Matt Cassell, left today’s Minnesota win with a sprained ankle. “I’m available, I’m available” said Brett Favre.
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Wonder what the #NFL record is for scoring by a team without using the offense? #Eagles #49ers.
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The NFL is trying hard to build their brand in England. And today’s game will help in one way. – even casual British sports fans will know the #Raiders s*ck.
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Rory McIlroy led Europe to another Ryder Cup win today. McIlroy is looking unstoppable, as long as he doesn’t cheat on a woman who knows how to handle a golf club.
Have to wonder how good the #SFGiants could have been had they just pushed the #panik button earlier this year.
Okay, really, glad she’s okay. But how many people could type “Jennifer Lopez” and “rear-ended” in the same sentence without giggling?
Would just one of these Republicans saying that we need “boots on the ground” to fight ISIS volunteer to fill a pair of those boots?
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More stuff you can’t make up. English version: the UK Sunday Mirror reports a leading Conservative minister, Brooks Newark, resigned over having exchanged explicit photos with someone he thought was a “20-something Tory PR woman”, but turned out to be a male reporter. Newark, a married father of five, had been heading up “Women2Win” – the Prime Minister’s drive to get more women in politics….
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Okay, who had the last undefeated teams in the #NFL in 2014 being the #Cardinals & #Bengals? Now all you liars lower your hands.
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Worst part of tonight’s #NOvsDAL game is #JerryJones looking like a genius for firing #RobRyan
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: boots on the ground jokes, Derek Jeter jokes, Janice Hough, JLo jokes, NFL jokes, Rory McIlory jokes
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Left Coast Sports Babe 