Posted tagged ‘baseball playoff jokes’

After midnight.

October 15, 2017

One thing to have Pac 12 college football  games start late on the East Coast.  Another thing to have them start so late the bars close before fans can watch the end and celebrate.

So many of top ranked college football teams lost this weekend that this might open up a spot in playoffs for Cleveland Browns.

 

Thinking that the first quarter of college football games should not compete with SNL. #Stanford #Oregon

But of course even after Stanford started 1-2 everyone had Cardinal leading the Pac 12 North after week five.

 

Columbia football is 5-0. Now this may really be a sign of the apocalypse.

 

Very now strange to see a starting pitcher in 9th inning of a baseball game when he didn’t come in as reliever. #Verlander #ALCS

Tom Verducci said Verlander brought the game back to another era, Gibson, Koufax.   Uh, he forgot Bumgarner. #ALCS

ARod saying now steroids “cost me over $40 million..my reputation..the Hall of Fame.. & a number of other things.” Get out the violins

The artist who put a statue of a urinating dog next to the “Fearless Girl” statue on Wall Street, was fatally struck by a NY subway when he apparently was standing too close to the tracks. Maybe they can use the dog statue as his tombstone? #subwaytohell

Marwin Gonzalez left Minute Maid Park as soon as ALCS game 1 to be with his wife, who had gone into labor. He made it for the birth of his son. Good thing Gonzalez wasn’t playing in Nats-Cubs game 5, the kid would be walking before he arrived.

Mississippi school district pulls ‘To Kill A Mockingbird’ from reading list – it “makes people uncomfortable.” Uh, that’s the point. #snowflakes

 

The Academy has expelled Harvey Weinstein. Oh good, so now there are no powerful sexual predators left in Hollywood.

Had the Weinstein scandal just broken 6 months earlier Bill O’Reilly could have made the story centerpiece of final ‘The O’Reilly Factor.”

Mike Pence campaigning in VA for gubernatorial candidate Ed Gillespie. So if some Dems put on uniforms & kneel for anthem will he leave?

Almost week since devastating fires started in California.   Still crickets from @realDonaldTrump. No doubt he’s preparing NFL tweet for morning.

 

Something stronger.

October 8, 2014

Brian Wilson will apparently be exercising his player option so LA will have to pay him $9.5 million in 2015. SF Giants fans, in the spirit of camaraderie, are offering to give Dodger fans their best cocktail recipes.

Giants got 9 runs in 4 games. 1 home run. A lot of runs that weren’t even scored by hits. And they won the series 3 games to 1. ‪#‎SFchicksdigthesmallball‬

All of these experts predicting the ‪#‎ALCS‬ and ‪#‎NLCS‬ winners. Because they’ve done so well so far……‪#‎Giants‬ ‪#‎Cardinals‬ ‪#‎Royals‬ ‪#‎Orioles

No baseball Tuesday night since the ‪#‎ALDS‬ and ‪#‎NLDS‬ series are all over. And no football as it’s Wednesday. So it was time for most Americans to start ignoring hockey.

For hockey fans, the San Jose Sharks did start defending their unofficial title of of being “The Best Regular Season Team in the NHL.”

Okay, it worked out if you are an ‪#‎SFGiants‬ fan. But Matt Williams is being lambasted for putting rookie Aaron Barrett into the game late last night with veteran pitchers in the bullpen. But Bruce Bochy put September call-up Hunter Strickland into the game late too. And Strickland did get through an inning, albeit with a home run bomb to Bryce Harper. ‪#‎geniusifitworksidiocyifitdoesnt‬ ‪#‎NLDS‬

So what’s the difference between the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim and the Los Angeles Dodgers? About 48 hours.

The FTC just announced that AT&T will pay $105 million in fines for placing unauthorized charges for third-party services on customers’ cell phone bills. So now wonder what surcharge the phone company will add to cover the fines

 

Roger Goodell, talking to owners and defending the NFL’s player conduct policy. “I believe the vast majority of our players are great people.” Right, because in the US we’ve never needed criminal laws because the vast majority of Americans are law-abiding people.

An American Airlines plane made an emergency landing in Midland, TX last night because a passenger was vomiting and there were Ebola fears. Despite the fact she had come from TURKEY, not Africa (She has already been released from the hospital). Here we go again…. Let’s hope no one gets the bright idea to put TSA in charge of taking temperatures and asking medical questions:

 

 

Open note to ANYONE who is anti-vaccine. Please just STFU about Ebola

Say what?

October 6, 2010

Meg Whitman’s latest commercial proclaims “Jobs are on the way.” Well, yeah, unless you are one of the 40,000 state employees whose job she has promised to cut.

While the Giants decide whether or not to put Barry Zito and his $126 million contract on the playoff roster, the Yankees decided to leave A.J. Burnett and his $82.5 million contract out of their playoff rotation. Of course, with the Yankees $82.5 million is a utility player contract.


Meanwhile, down in Miami, Dwayne Wade sustained an hamstring injury and had to leave the Heat’s first pre-season game. The injury at this point doesn’t appear to be serious.

But if Wade’s hamstring doesn’t heal, it might mean the mini-Dream team won’t get to play together this year. “That would really be a shame” said nobody outside the state of Florida.

Despite an 0-4 start 49ers coach Mike Singletary is still strongly supporting his quarterback Alex Smith. Makes sense. As long as Smith is with the team he will deflect some of the blame from Singletary.

The NFL Players union head DeMaurice Smith has stated he thinks owners are preparing for a 2011 without professional football. Which means in Detroit, business as usual.

Delaware Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell recently stated “I am not a witch.” “Well, we can’t all be perfect,” sniffed Hillary Clinton.


While the U.S. has not always been well served by the “best and the brightest,” is it really necessary for us to turn instead to the worst and the dimmest?


It’s understandable that many people don’t feel economic recovery is affecting them yet, and that change isn’t coming fast enough. And even that President Obama is too calm and celebral to connect well with the average American.

But really, some of these alternative candidates? It feels like the political equivalent of getting mad at your mother when you are a teenager, and getting a big tattoo just to spite her. Except that a tattoo would actually be easier to remove if you decide you made a hasty mistake.


And regarding well-paid players who may not contribute much to their team in the post season, how about two shortstops in their mid 30s? One batted .276 with a .374 slugging percent, the second batted .270 with a .370 slugging percentage. And both realistically have lost a bit defensively.

The first is the Giants’ Edgar Renteria. The second, Derek Jeter.