Posted tagged ‘SF Giants jokes’
October 17, 2014
SF Giants chicks are back to digging the long ball.
Congrats to Travis Ishikawa. Most Americans had no clue who he was yesterday, and now he’s trending on Twitter.
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No Cain, no Pagan, no Scutaro. Effectively no Lincecum. And no Belt or Morse for much of the year. #cockroaches #sfgiants. #worldseries
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Somewhere Bob Brenly is smiling. #redemption #SFGiants #WorldSeries
But the lead column on Fox Sports tonight. “If you think Matheny deserves to be ripped, you’re right.” Because of course Joe Buck’s network couldn’t say the SF Giants actually might have deserved to win this one.
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Back in June heard SFGiants GM Brian Sabean say how Joe Panik wasn’t ready for the big leagues yet. Hard to imagine how good the kid might be when he IS ready.
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A new study finds that four areas of the San Andreas Fault in Northern California are now “overdue” for a significant quake. So why should Ebola have all the fear fun?
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Apparently Florida Gov. Rick Scott refused to start his debate against Charlie Crist when Crist had a fan under the podium, because of a ban against electronic devices. ( Which was intended to keep them from using computers-laptops-phones….)
Got it. So Scott would have been okay with Crist waving a big paper fan while he talked?
How amazing was the #SFGiants win tonight to get to the #WorldSeries? They knocked the #NYJets latest loss right off #ESPN front page.
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Ann Romney said today she is still “done” with the idea of Mitt running again, but added “you know, you never do say never.” “Atta girl,” said Brett Favre.
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A judge found Donald Trump “personally liable” for knowingly operating his former Trump University without a license. So the Donald is in trouble because HE didn’t have a valid certificate.
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Seems like many of the same people whose retirement plan is to win the lottery are also convinced they’re going to get Ebola.
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Both LeBron James and Dirk Nowitzski are saying the NBA season should be shortened from 82 games. Good thing they are stars, otherwise the two might be fined for making too much sense.
From T.C. “The NBA is considering shortening their games from 48 to 44 minutes. I’d go with 46, as it’s the last two minutes that take forever.”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Ebola jokes, NBA jokes, NLCS jokes, Romney jokes, SF Giants jokes, World Series jokes
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October 15, 2014
KC Royals pitcher Jeremy Guthrie apologized for wearing a T-shirt saying “These O’s aint’ Royal” — a pun on a Chris Brown song. Yeah, really unfair this week to compare Baltimore to Chris Brown, the O’s weren’t hitting anything.
Congrats to Kansas City. Now FOX has a whole week to convince potential viewers that Royals really are America’s Team
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The Royals scored their two runs to win today in the first inning without a hit out of the infield. Who do they think they are, the #SFGiants?
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SF Giants have scored 22 runs in their last 6 post season games. Of those, 10 runs were scored by way of a hit. #smokeandmirrors
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So wonder what Andrew Friedman’s first act running the Dodgers will be. Other than trying just to buy the Royals
-On “The Jim Rome Show,” Bo Jackson said Jameis Winston is ignoring his advice. “I have communicated with him, and I just talked to him like I was his dad.” Yeah, and Winston is probably listening to Jackson about as much as many cocky 20 year olds listen to their dads
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Florida State coach Jimbo Fisher said they are confident Jameis Winston wasn’t paid for autographing memorabilia. And F$U has million$ of rea$on$ to believe that.
Actual items in a grocery ad today. Pumpkin Spice Salsa, Pumpkin Pasta Sauce, Pumpkin BBQ Sauce and, no joke, Organic Pumpkin Pet Food…. Anyone but me counting the days until Halloween and this pumpkin craziness is over?
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Dallas Cowboys coach Jason Garrett said RB Joseph Randle will be fined significantly for his shoplifting arrest. Wonder if the exact amount of the fine will depend on whether or not Garrett shoplifted NFL approved merchandise.
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Ebola is not contagious through the air. But after a second nurse with the virus was found to have flown on Frontier Airlines from Cleveland to Dallas, Frontier issued a statement saying “the aircraft received a thorough cleaning per our normal procedures.” “Normal procedures.” Yeah, that’s what Americans are afraid of…..
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Wonder how many Americans are getting so stressed out about #Ebola that they are taking up smoking?
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Meanwhile, many in the GOP are calling for President Obama to appoint an Ebola “czar.” So they can then turn around and say how bad a job that czar is doing.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes
Tags: Ebola jokes, Jameis Winston jokes, Janice Hough, NFL jokes, Orioles jokes, Royals jokes, SF Giants jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
October 14, 2014
Texas Gov. Rick Perry, speaking in London, telling his English audience “You always sound so darn smart and refined no matter what you’re saying.” And no doubt many in the crowd are thinking “It’s not just the accent that makes you sound so dumb.”
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But also let me get this straight, in Texas, they are upset that the CDC and President Obama haven’t done more against Ebola. Mark this down, Texans are Cocomplaining that the Federal Government hasn’t done enough to interfere in their state.
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Really? Cowboys RB Joseph Randle was arrested last night for shoplifting underwear and cologne in at a local Dillard’s. Wonder if the reaction in Dallas front office was, well at least he didn’t hit anybody.
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Apple and Facebook will now cover the costs for women employees who want to freeze their eggs and delay having children. Makes sense, why use those young and energetic years for motherhood when you can work 80 hour weeks for your company?
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We’re coming up on the 25th anniversary of the Oct 17, 1989 “World Series” earthquake. Wow. They actually used to play the World Series during mid-October?
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Alabama TE Kurt Freitag’s status is probably in jeopardy after police searched his dorm room last week and allegedly found 112 grams of marijuana and $4,661 in cash. Thinking this sort of thing presents a major recruiting opportunity for Colorado and the University of Washington.
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Dodgers have now hired Andrew Friedman from the Tampa Bay Rays as their new president of baseball operations. Well, money can’t buy happiness. But Friedman may be about to see it also can’t buy chemistry.
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Tickets for the Cal vs Oregon football game next Friday at Levi’s Stadium are now 2/3 off at Groupon. Might be a good time to check the place out. With Cal’s defense and Oregon’s offense there probably shouldn’t be too much traffic leaving late in the 4th quarter.
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The SF Giants are doing their best to give all baseball fans in the Bay Area a free cardiac stress test. #NLCS
#SFGiants won at 4 20. Anyone see what Lincecum might have been doing to start a rally in the dugout?
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Anyone know how many ways there are to score without a base hit in baseball? #SFGiants seem bound and determined to show us ALL of them.
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The Royals were almost never on ESPN or FOX during the season, and they still aren’t. But watching them the last couple weeks I find it hard to believe that this team ever lost.
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Meanwhile for SF Giants (and St. Louis Cardinals) fans who were watching tonight’s KC Royals and Orioles game – – Amazing how much fun close game is when your heart isn’t set on one outcome. #NLCS #ALCS
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The NHL Florida Panthers announced attendance of 7,311 last night. Or as the Montreal Expos used to call that, a packed house.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes
Tags: Cowboys jokes, Ebola jokes, Janice Hough, marijuana jokes, NLCS jokes, Royals jokes, SF Giants jokes, Texas jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
October 13, 2014
Since NLCS games 1 and 2 weres basically being called by St. Louis home town announcers can the SF Giants Mike Krukow and Duane Kuiper call game 3 for Fox Tuesday?
The advantage of watching #SFGiants on FOX. All game stress is mitigated by ability to scream at TV regularly due to idiocy of Joe Buck
(and the above two are not sour grapes, I wrote both lines when the Giants were tied or winning.)
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But okay, if anyone had told #SFGiants fans that their team would have given up four home runs on mistake pitches while hitting ZERO home runs themselves, and the team would be returning to AT&T tied 1-1, (with Yadier Molina probably out for the series), they would have been ecstatic.
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Taylor Swift quoted on the cover of People Magazine. “It would take an astonishing human being for me to even consider getting back in a relationship.” Well, either that or a bad case of writer’s block.
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As bad as day as the Jets had, this week they didn’t even look like the worst team in New York. Or rather, New Jersey.
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MSU #1 in the new coaches poll. Ole Miss #3. So a lot of sportswriters and copy editors are finally finding a use for that old M-I-S-S, I-S-S, I-P-P-I spelling chant from grade school.
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USC escaped with a 28-26 win Saturday night despite 13 fourth quarter points from Arizona when the Wildcats’ kicker missed his third FG of the game, a 36 yarder with 12 seconds left. Trojan coach Steve Sarkisian said “God’s got a plan, but we’re not exactly what his plan is for us yet.” And God said, “don’t blame me for all these lousy Pac12 placekickers.”
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Raiders fans egged the Chargers’ team bus as it arrived at O.co Stadium for today’s game. Fortunately, since this was Oakland, most of the eggs were intercepted.
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After last night’s NASCAR race in Charlotte, Matt Kenseth and Brad Keselowski ended up fighting in the garage. If this sort of thing starts happening near the track it could double ratings.
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Wonder how many Americans are so worried about #Ebola that they are now reading updates on their phones while driving?
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John McCain now wants a “health care czar.” And hey, the post of Surgeon General is vacant. Why? Because Dr. Vivek Murthy, President Obama’s November 2013 nomination, hasn’t been confirmed by the Senate. Murthy’s crime, upsetting the NRA by calling guns “a health care issue” in a 2012 tweet…. #haveyounoshame
Happy Canadian Thanksgiving. A day where Canadian residents with national healthcare and reasonable gun laws look at the U.S. and feel thankful they live where they do. Of course, there’s a reason this day is in October, well before Canada deals with actual winter.
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Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Cardinals jokes, college football jokes, Ebola jokes, Janice Hough, Joe Buck jokes, McCain jokes, NLCS jokes, SF Giants jokes, Taylor Swift jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
October 9, 2014
Red Bull settled a $13 million class action lawsuit over customers being deceived by the slogan “Red Bull Gives You Wings..” Darn, and here I was thinking of going as a bird for Halloween and counting on the drink to give me feathers. –
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Katy Perry will reportedly perform during the Super Bowl halftime show. Well, for many men that’s two reasons to watch.
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49ers QB Colin Kaepernick was fined $10,000 for wearing pink Beats by Dre headphones around his neck Sunday, instead of the NFL-approved Bose. Hey, for that amount of money he could have chop-blocked somebody.
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So Jameis Winston is probably out of the Heisman conversation, now another hopeful, Georgia’s TB Todd Gurley, who was leading the SEC in rushing, has been suspended from the team indefinitely pending an “investigation into an alleged violation of NCAA rules.” This year’s award may end up like the Tour de France – last candidate not suspended wins.
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Now Adrian Peterson’s bail may be revoked he told a drug tester that he had “smoked a little weed” before taking a urinalysis test this week. Sigh. Maybe if Peterson had been smoking MORE marijuana he might not have hit his kid as hard.
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Amazon announced they will open their first store. Response from young adults who have grown up with Amazon Prime – “what’s a store?
Apparently the iPhone 6 has been catching and painfully plucking loose hairs when held to a user’s face. Well, that’s what people get for using the device for something radical like actually making a phone call.
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Combined ages of Hudson, Peavy & Vogelsong, the #SFGiants starting pitchers in 3 #NLDS games the Giants won, is 109. #ageandtreachery (If the Giants can coax Jamie Moyer out of retirement, maybe they’d be favored to win the World Series.)
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From T.C. “Their “Murder’s row of bats” are Panik, Posey, Pence, Panda, Perez, Pray and then Pray some more.
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Okay, it’s a convoluted story, but as I understand it, in 2012. a 25 year old single male volunteer for the President’s advance team in Colombia is accused of legally bringing a prostitute to his room in 2012 and denying it later.. And the administration may have delayed the investigation. Wow. Good thing we don’t have any serious issues to worry about.
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Sigh. A new survey finds that 58% of Americans want to ban all flights to the United States from West African countries hit hardest by the Ebola outbreak – Liberia, Guinea and Sierra Leone. Uh, number of direct flights to the US from those countries? Zero. Mission accomplished.
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Another Ebola thought: Lots of folks, especially in the GOP, screaming about closing borders and all kinds of other measures to stop the spread of the disease. When we get this epidemic under control and since AIDS is still an issue, will those same people also start telling all Americans to start using condoms?
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Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes
Tags: Colombia jokes, Ebola jokes, Janice Hough, Kaepernick jokes, Red Bull jokes, SF Giants jokes, Todd Gurley jokes
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October 8, 2014
Brian Wilson will apparently be exercising his player option so LA will have to pay him $9.5 million in 2015. SF Giants fans, in the spirit of camaraderie, are offering to give Dodger fans their best cocktail recipes.
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Giants got 9 runs in 4 games. 1 home run. A lot of runs that weren’t even scored by hits. And they won the series 3 games to 1. #SFchicksdigthesmallball
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All of these experts predicting the #ALCS and #NLCS winners. Because they’ve done so well so far……#Giants #Cardinals #Royals #Orioles
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No baseball Tuesday night since the #ALDS and #NLDS series are all over. And no football as it’s Wednesday. So it was time for most Americans to start ignoring hockey.
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For hockey fans, the San Jose Sharks did start defending their unofficial title of of being “The Best Regular Season Team in the NHL.”
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Okay, it worked out if you are an #SFGiants fan. But Matt Williams is being lambasted for putting rookie Aaron Barrett into the game late last night with veteran pitchers in the bullpen. But Bruce Bochy put September call-up Hunter Strickland into the game late too. And Strickland did get through an inning, albeit with a home run bomb to Bryce Harper. #geniusifitworksidiocyifitdoesnt #NLDS
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So what’s the difference between the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim and the Los Angeles Dodgers? About 48 hours.
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The FTC just announced that AT&T will pay $105 million in fines for placing unauthorized charges for third-party services on customers’ cell phone bills. So now wonder what surcharge the phone company will add to cover the fines
Roger Goodell, talking to owners and defending the NFL’s player conduct policy. “I believe the vast majority of our players are great people.” Right, because in the US we’ve never needed criminal laws because the vast majority of Americans are law-abiding people.
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An American Airlines plane made an emergency landing in Midland, TX last night because a passenger was vomiting and there were Ebola fears. Despite the fact she had come from TURKEY, not Africa (She has already been released from the hospital). Here we go again…. Let’s hope no one gets the bright idea to put TSA in charge of taking temperatures and asking medical questions:
Open note to ANYONE who is anti-vaccine. Please just STFU about Ebola
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: baseball playoff jokes, Dodgers jokes, Ebola jokes, hockey jokes, Janice Hough, Matt Williams jokes, NFL jokes, SF Giants jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
October 7, 2014
The NFL now has a sponsorship deal with Bose which will ban players from wearing “Beats by Dre” headphones during interviews and games. Violators will be fined. Good to know Roger Goodell and the league are taking on the tough issues.
Michael Phelps was suspended from USA swimming events for six months following his DUI. Many Americans were shocked. In non-Olympic years there are swimming events?
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The conservative leaning Supreme Court Monday decided to reject requests from five states to immediately review their gay marriage bans. Maybe because now even GOP candidates told them it was a losing issue?
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Michigan State’s AD is upset with the 13,000 students who bought season tickets but mostly left early when the Spartans had a 27-3 lead in a cold wet fourth quarter against Nebraska. He said changes will be made. Right. Like selling the same tickets for a lot more money to alums who will also leave early in such conditions.
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The Jaguars apologized for their mascot mocking the Steelers’ “Terrible Towels” during yesterday’s game with a sign that said “Towels carry Ebola.” Of course the Steelers could have responded that Jacksonville was safe because the team couldn’t catch anything.
A nurse in Spain has contracted Ebola from two patients who returned from Africa. So will Rick Perry demand now that the U.S. stop all airline flights from Europe?
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Madison Bumgarner inexplicably tried to a bunt to third with runners on first and second Monday, and when the throw went wide two runs scored. Although later catcher and former high school valedictorian Buster Posey said he told him to do it. #smartmenfoolishchoices
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Monday was a painful day for #SFGiants fans. Although nice now to watch #BrianWilson and think “no longer our circus, not our monkey.” #Dodgers
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If misery loves company #SFGiants and #Dodgers are having a bromance over their 7th innings today. #NLDS
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According to the SF Chronicle, the principal of a private Marin County high school was arrested last weekend “after he was found in a Sacramento County motel room with large quantities of drugs and a passed-out woman roughly 30 years younger than him” Wonder how long it will take for the made-for-TV movie.
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So I know about the Rolaids reliever award. Are the Dodgers trying to challenge the Tigers for the Arson Squad award? #bullpenwhatbullpen?
Two men were arrested and charged with felony assault after a fight in the men’s bathroom at Levi’s Stadium before the 49ers game Sunday. Allegedly over ‘impatience for an open stall’ . Sounds like the worries over the new stadium just being filled with chardonnay swilling techies might be unfounded.
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So anyone who was surprised that Buck Showalter intentionally walked the potential winning run on base in the bottom of the 9th Sunday in Detroit clearly doesn’t remember 1998, when Buck intentionally walked Barry Bonds. With the bases loaded. (He won that game too.)
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, bullpen jokes, Dodgers jokes, Ebola jokes, Janice Hough, Michael Phelps jokes, NLDS jokes, SF Giants jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
October 5, 2014
Game time for Giants vs. Nationals is 2:07p. So SF fans won’t have to get that sudden debilitating mystery illness at work Monday until about noon.
So the AL representative in #WorldSeries will be either the Kansas City #Royals or the Baltimore #Orioles. And Fox executives just threw up.
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Still can’t get over all those empty seats in Nationals Park Saturday night in extra innings. It was if we were watching a Nationals game and an Expos game broke out.
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(And okay, so it was almost midnight and getting colder. As a veteran of the 7 plus hour Giants-Dodgers twilight doubleheader in July 1988, however, I have cred on this issue. Scott Garrelts lost BOTH games, the second about 130a.)
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On the other hand, right about now all those #49ers fans who complained about how cold it was at #CandlestickPark thinking “I take it back.” #LevisStadium
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The sunny-side of the stadium was largely empty in the second half of today’s 49ers-Chiefs game. On a brighter note, maybe the 49ers can rent out the place on weekdays as the world’s largest tanning booth?
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Randy Moss now says of playing under Jim Harbaugh with the 49ers: “He treated us men like we were still college kids at Stanford.” Does Moss mean Harbaugh overestimated most of the team’s maturity level?
Saw today’s new poll of the best 25 college teams and it inexplicably left off the #NYJets
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Although main thought watching week 5 in the #NFL. This league has a lot of mediocre football teams.
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So #11 Oregon, who beat #8 MSU by 18, is ranked below the Spartans in today’s coaches poll, and an undefeated #12 TCU is ranked below the #9 Oklahoma team they beat. Well, no one ever suggested anyone connected with college football is good with math.
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Paul Revere, founder of Paul Revere and the Raiders, has passed away at the age of 76. Please can someone get a comment from Sarah Palin on his death?
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Lots of rumors that this is Jim Harbaugh’s last year with the 49ers. This morning Jed York tweeted “Jim is my coach. We are trying to win a SB, not a personality or popularity contest. Any more questions?” Well, at least York didn’t say he was behind Harbaugh 1000%.
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Who ever thought #Jets fans would be looking back longingly to the glory days of #MarkSanchez and #TimTebow?
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More “Why there is no satire.” Todd Kincannon, former executive director of the South Carolina GOP tweeted yesterday. “People with Ebola in the US need to be humanely put down immediately.” And followed it with “The protocol for a positive Ebola test should be immediate humane execution and sanitization of the whole area. That will save lives.” And yes, he’s “pro-life.”
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Joint joke with my friend Alex Kaseberg. “What is with all the long, bushy beards on baseball players. Have not seen this many beards since Tom Cruise was auditioning potential future wives.”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, college football jokes, Harbaugh jokes, Janice Hough, Jets jokes, Levis stadium jokes, Nationals jokes, NFL jokes, SF Giants jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
October 1, 2014
At least three more games for the SF Giants in 2014. And this picture from 1992. When we thought the SF Giants might start the 1993 season in Tampa.
The little boy, for the uninitiated, is Brandon Crawford.
Brandon Crawford’s sister is actually dating another MLB player. A member of the Pittsburgh Pirates. #Thanksgiving #awkward
Liked baseball as a left-handed little kid, fell in love with baseball in the 1968 World Series. Mickey Lolich, 3 complete games. Tonight Madison Bumgarner channeled Lolich. But skinnier. And a better hitter.. #leftiesrule #SFGiants
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ESPN reported that Brandon Crawford’s grand slam was the first ever by a shortstop in the postseason. And speaking of shortstops, will this be the cue for another Derek Jeter retrospective?
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Donald Trump is on another Ebola rampage with the first case in the U.S., tweeting “how dumb was our President to send thousands of poorly trained and ill-equipped soldiers over to West Africa to fight Ebola. Stop all flights.”And saying we must “immediately institute strong travel restrictions or Ebola will be all over the United States-a plague like no other.”
Alas, Ebola is far less dangerous for Americans than Donald Trump.
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Have to wonder, how many Americans who are freaking out over #Ebola are also anti-vaccine.
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So the man infected with Ebola told an emergency room nurse days before he became REALLY sick, that he’d been in Liberia. And it didn’t set off any alarms. Once again, proving all the precautions in the world #cantfixstupid.
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So if we really want to contain #Ebola can we just quarantine the state of #Texas? #twobirdsonestone
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In the Arizona Fall League. baseball will test eliminating actual pitches during intentional walks, with the idea of maybe trying it in the majors. And the #SFGIants Pablo Sandoval is thinking, hey, those are hittable pitches.
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Michael Phelps was clocked at 85 MPH when he was arrested. Here’s one way to fix some of these driving issues for athletes: Make the only car they are allowed to drive be a Prius. Those things can’t get up to 85 MPH.
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Tom Brady just said of his team “We don’t have the kind of offense that’s going to perform at a high level.” And Patriots fans are thinking “What was your first clue?”
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Wow. A jury found Michael Dunn guilty of first-degree murder today for the “loud music” 2012 shooting death of 17-year-old Jordan Davis. Not often I type these words, but “Nicely done, Florida.”
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From T.C. “North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has been hospitalized with two broken ankles, apparently from wearing heels and being overweight. When his ankle extension surgery is completed, he will be the same height as his buddy Dennis Rodman.”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Brandon Crawford, Ebola jokes, Florida jokes, Janice Hough, playoff jokes, SF Giants jokes, Texas jokes, wild card jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
September 26, 2014
The SF Giants clinched a playoff spot due to another Brewers meltdown. So did they have Champagne mixed with Gatorade in tonight’s game cooler?
(Sure looked like it when the bullpen imploded in the 6th and 7th)
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Nothing is certain but death, taxes and Tim #Lincecum against the Padres. #SFGiants
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Anyone easily offended, skip to the next item. Anyone tired of vanilla clubhouse speeches, cover your children’s ears and listen to the Reverend Hunter Pence. http://deadspin.com/we-now-go-live-to-hunter-pences-dirty-dirty-mouth-1639410347?utm_campaign=socialflow_deadspin_twitter&utm_source=deadspin_twitter&utm_medium=socialflow
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Stay classy. Fox News’s panelist Eric Bolling asked yesterday if a female fighter pilot may be called ‘boobs on the ground. Well, a Fox News panel can certainly be called “boobs on the air.”
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Anyone who has the attitude that Washington, D.C. is good for nothing, clearly isn’t a fan of an NFL team needing to get healthy.
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Have to wonder with all this controversy over the Redskins name, would it be any different if Dan Snyder were less of an a**hole and the team were less of a train wreck?
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Washington looked so overpowered tonight that out of habit House Republicans called for a Congessional Investigation against Obama. #Redskins #Giants
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So much for that ‘special relationship” between the U.S. and England. The Dolphins and Raiders are playing in London this Sunday. We couldn’t have sent over better teams, like say, Oregon and Florida State?
(My friend Jeff K. says ” It’s a showcase game. Trying to see if England can take one of those teams off our hands and send them down to some international league.“)
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A 6.2 earthquake hit near Anchorage, Alaska this morning. So will Sarah Palin blame this on the “lame-stream” media or Obama?
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Alex Kaseberg says the earthquake was so strong it shook Sarah into a bookstore.
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Mitt and Ann Romney are dropping hints that Mitt might run again in 2016. Perfect. Because Romney is like that ex who looks good from a nostalgic distance, until you start spending time with him/her again and get reminded why you dropped them.
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Attorney General Eric Holder has resigned and says he will step down as soon as a successor can be confirmed by the Senate. This Senate?! Means Holder will probably be around through the end of President Obama’s term.
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-The Orioles had clinched. So did Evan Meek groove a pitch to #DerekJeter ? #Yankees
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#ESPN & #RogerGoodell seem hell bent on making Congress look credible by comparison.
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At the University of Texas, new coach Charlie Strong has drug testing of football players on pace to double. This was reported by the Austin American-Statesman and presumably every SEC football recruiter.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Fox News jokes, Janice Hough, Jeter jokes, Palin jokes, Redskins jokes, SF Giants jokes, Washington jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
September 6, 2014
Oops. ESPN headline “Runs could be scarce when David Price and the Tigers host Madison Bumgarner and the Giants this afternoon.” (Not only did the Giants win 5-4, it was 4 to 2 after the first.)
Nice win for #SFGiants vs Detroit. But Miguel Cabrera against Romo? You could probably have gotten better odds that Miggy WOULDN’T have hit a home run. #sfgiants #hangingslider.
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Beginning to think the 2014 SF Giants strategy is to save all their hits for the first and last two months of the season?
Too much bad stuff for one post after Stanford USC game today. But for starters. 6 Red Zone chances for the Cardinal, 10 points. And two PUNTS for Stanford from USC 32 and 29 year line. Closer than the Trojans were when they kicked their 53 yard game-winning FG. #choke
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Well at least that #stanford fumble saved fans the agony of watching Williamson miss another field goal. #uscvsstan
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Though to be honest, happiest people watching USC vs. Stanford game had to be #Oregon fans. Both teams looked bad.
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And USC athletic director Pat Haden actually left his spot in the press box and came down to the field to argue with referees during the Stanford game. Wonder if Haden gets equally involved if some professor is about to flunk his players?
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San Jose State made $1.5 million to travel to Auburn to play the Tigers, , where they were 31 point underdogs. So was one of the oddmakers in Vegas a Spartans alum?
Kei Nishikori upset Novak Djokovic. A match that fans of underdogs and Scrabble players must have loved. #usopen.
Karma’s a mean b*tch. Or maybe just likes blue. Before the Virginia Tech game, Urban Meyer made ESPN announcers who visited the Buckeyes’ practice change their blue shirts to red and white OSU shirts. Since blue is Michigan’s color….. (For non-college football fans, Virginia Tech upset Ohio State, in Columbus.)
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In general, the Big Ten is looking like an oxymoron.
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Scotland is set to vote September 18 on breaking away from the United Kingdom. And a new Sunday Times poll shows independence winning 51% to 49%. If this secession happens can the US suggest it to Texas?
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Watching #Oregon football highlights. Still can’t pick out where they keep the generator to plug in those uniforms.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Big Ten jokes, college football jokes, Janice Hough, Ohio State jokes, SF Giants jokes, Stanford football jokes, USC jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
September 5, 2014
President Obama made an unscheduled stop at Stonehenge after a visit to Wales. How long until we see the Fox News headlines “Obama is a druid.”?
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The NY Daily News reports that the father of the 9 year-old girl who accidentally shot her instructor with an Uzi is a New Jersey “wealth adviser” who oversees more than $1.0 billion in investments. Proving again that money can’t buy common sense. #affluenza
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Apparently Washington Redskins merchandise sales are down this year with all the controversy. Of course, if the team really wants to sell the stuff, have them change the name, and then all the Redskins’ merchandise remaining becomes collector’s items.
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Johnny Manziel has filed for yet another trademark, this time “Johnny Cleveland.” At this rate he may end up the only QB with more trademarks than NFL passing touchdowns.
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FSU has apparently just begun an investigation into the 2012 rape accusations against Jameis Winston. And no doubt they will finish the investigation within a year after Winston heads to the NFL.
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From Bill Littlejohn “So if the Saints put a bounty on Wes Welker, do they call it a ‘Molly Hatchet’?
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CNN headlines are all about the unresponsive mystery plane that crashed off the coast of Jamaica. Now, while this is a sad story, apparently it was a small private aircraft with only two people aboard. But at least CNN knows where the plane is.
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Kim Kardashian, in a British magazine interview, denies that there will ever be another leaked sex tape. “I never want to make the same mistake twice.” Well, yeah, next time she’ll sell i
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Hillary Clinton hasn’t officially made a decision about running for President, but she’s made a decision about the decision: “I am going to be making a decision around, probably after the first of the year about whether I am going to run again.” “Geez, can you make up your mind already” responded Brett Favre.
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Hertz at Heathrow Airport charges 62.00 UKL for a week to rent a car, and 70 UKL additional to have a second person drive the car. Clearly car rental agencies are learning from the airlines.
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You may not root for Jake Peavy. But going back to pick up a win you started after 2 hrs and 41 minutes is seriously #oldschool #SFGiants
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A Northern California couple was arrested after sheriff’s deputies searched their home and found large quantities of marijuana and marijuana candy, along with a loaded shotgun and handgun, all accessible to their children, ages 2 and 4. And over at the NRA, their spokesmen’s heads are exploding.
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Thursday night in College Football, Texas A&M Commerce beat East Texas Baptist, 98-20. Today no doubt East Texas Baptist’s phones are ringing of the hook with potential $1 million paydays for future games from the SEC.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: affluenza jokes, college football jokes, Janice Hough, marijuana jokes, NFL jokes, SF Giants jokes
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September 1, 2014
Ricky Gervais sparked a controversy by tweeting: ‘Celebrities, make it harder for hackers to get nude pics of you from your computer by not putting nude pics of yourself on the computer.’ Must say, there are some advantages of being from the generation that grew up with Polaroid.
The FBI said today it is looking into the celebrity nude picture leaks. That stampeding sound you hear is all the agents volunteering to lead the investigation.
Kim Kardashian appears to be one of the few “celebrity” women whose photos haven’t been hacked. Either that or the hackers figured her nude pictures were old news.
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What’s next, the hackers demanding ransom? As in if we don’t all pay it they may leak nude photos of Rob Ford?
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So did even hackers decide they didn’t want to see V Stiviano nude pictures? #Sopasther15minutes
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Houston fired manager Bo Porter, although the Astros are ahead of the Texas Rangers and have a better record than the Arizona Diamondbacks and the Colorado Rockies. So was Porter fired for over achieving?
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Controversial “The Bachelor” couple Juan Pablo and Nikki Ferrell are still dating. But they’ve now signed up for “Couples Therapy” which is a VH1 reality show. Well, this ought to do wonders for the rumors they’re just in it for the publicity.
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Gov. Rick Perry deleted and then disavowed a tweet from his verified Twitter account which had a picture of D.A. Rosemary Lehmberg, “I don’t always drive drunk at 3x the legal blood alcohol limit… …but when I do, I indict Gov. Perry for calling me out about it. I am the most drunk Democrat in Texas.” So what, does Perry have 3 people in charge of his account and he only told 2 of them to “stay classy?”
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Andrew Susac singles and scores the winning run in today’s suspended SF Giants- Colorado Rockies May 22 game. How impressive is the Giants rookie catcher – he wins a game two months before he gets called up to the majors?
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Congratulations to the #SFGiants Gary Brown, who finally got his September call-up to the big leagues. The knock on Brown has been that he can’t hit major league pitching. But doesn’t that describe most of the Giants lineup for much of this season?
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: celebrity nude picture jokes, hacker jokes, Janice Hough, Rick Perry jokes, SF Giants jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
August 31, 2014
Open note to #SF49ers. You may need a DE fast, and there’s one available who’s almost certain not to hit a woman #RayMcDonald #MichaelSam
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Leaving aside the fact that domestic violence is wrong, just how stupid did the 49ers Ray MacDonald have to be? As the DE has now volunteered to be the poster child for Roger Goodell’s mea culpa.
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Meanwhile in baseball, is there some unwritten rule in 2014 that there can only be one good MLB team in the San Francisco Bay Area at a time?
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For the younger generation who never went to Disneyland in the old days, the 2014 SF Giants are defining the term “E ticket ride.”
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And for anyone who might have been nervous, no, that was Not an earthquake in San Francisco today that ground shaking was just Pablo Sandoval running out a triple.
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Baylor has unveiled a new bronze statue of Robert Griffin III. The statue is impressive, but alas expected to start breaking down in the next couple years.
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A medical marijuana farmers market in L.A. has been temporarily closed by a judge. In related news, Southern California 7-11s have slashed their orders for Doritos.
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The Indians-Royals Sunday night baseball game was suspended in the 10th inning. What’s more surprising? That umps would suspend a game that late? Or that a Cleveland-Kansas City game would be ESPN’s Sunday night choice?
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Yankees lose to Toronto Blue Jays after having a 3 run lead in the 6. The race is on to sign Derek Jeter as a postseason commentator.
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Pro-democracy activists are upset because in the 2017 election to elect Hong Kong’s leader, the powers-that-be in Beijing will approve candidates and only allow two or three on the ballot. Yes, because that is so different from the American way.
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A Colorado woman admits to texting while driving when she hit a pole that went through her car, piercing her thigh and buttocks. Talk about a well-justified pain-in-the-a**.
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Would all these critics of President Obama please tell us which war they would like him to start first?
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, Janice Hough, Michael same jokes, NFL jokes, ray mcDonald jokes, SF Giants jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
August 28, 2014
Dodgers LF Scott Van Slyke sprained his ankle yesterday night while playing in Arizona, and claimed it was because “They’ve got bad grass here.” Dude! You want good grass, sign with the Colorado Rockies.
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Athletic director Pat Haden says USC officials vetted Josh Shaw’s story 12 times. Who was in charge of the investigation, O.J. Simpson? And is he still looking for the real hero?
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It’s midnight. Does anyone know where Josh Shaw’s latest story on his injury is?
Five Easy Pieces moment in Palo Alto: Wanting a glass of sparkling wine while waiting for a table at Delfina. Not on the menu. But but they have a Bellini. Asked nice young man if they could do prosecco. “He didn’t know what prosecco was but said no. Asked what was in Bellini. He checked and said, “peach and prosecco.” Okay, can you do prosecco? “No.” Alas, a woman coworker who overheard overruled him before I got to ask for the “Bellini, hold the Peach.”
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USC CB Josh Shaw was suspended indefinitely for lying to explain an injury, now senior RB Anthony Brown quit the Trojans saying “Can’t play for a racist MAN!!!!!”” And just guessing somewhere that Lane Kiffin is cackling.
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46 batters retired in a row. A major league baseball all-time record for Yusmeiro Petit. Your move, Kershaw? #Dodgers #SFGiants
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Vikings star RB Adrian Peterson apparently told Dallas owner Jerry Jones he would like to play for him and the Cowboys. Quick, check Peterson for concussions.
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Apple apparently will unveil iPhones with bigger screens next month. So at least when people look at their screens while walking and driving they won’t have to squint as much.
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An internal GOP poll shows that most women are “barely receptive” to Republicans and believe they are “stuck in the past.” Which no doubt will motivate many in the party – to try to repeal the 19th amendment.
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Roger Goodell, citing precedent for his two-game suspension for Ray Rice, has now announced that the NFL will suspend players and personnel six games for domestic violence, with a lifetime ban from the league for a second offense. So if it’s about precedents and rules, should the league put in writing what a first offense ban might be for say, actually killing someone?
An American Airlines flight from Miami to Paris was diverted to Boston over an argument over a passenger reclining his seat. If this keeps happening presumably airlines will try to prevent such issues, by making all seats non-reclining.
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Obama said at a press conference today that “we don’t have a strategy yet’ in Syria. Critics are furious, they want the President to spell out what he intends to do so they can say it is wrong.
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Joan Rivers is apparently in a medically induced coma after she stopped breathing during throat surgery. In her honor assume other comedians will rush to make inappropriate jokes?
From Alex Kaseberg. ” In Malibu, 50-year-old surfing legend, Laird Hamilton, rescued a surfer from drowning. Immediately afterward, Hamilton was offered a spot on the USC football team.”
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From T.C. “Texas A&M QB Kenny Hill passed for 511 yds and broke Johnny Manziel’s single game passing record tonight. In related news, the patent office says that the name Kenny Football has not yet been copyrighted.”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: airline jokes, Janice Hough, joan rivers jokes, Josh Shaw jokes, marijuana jokes, NFL jokes, Republican jokes, SF Giants jokes
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August 22, 2014
Money can buy a lot of things, but not travel karma. #SFGiants finished game last night in Chicago about 11p, went to airport for just over 1 hour charter flight. But lightning meant bags could not be loaded, and then additional wait on tarmac for storms to pass. They arrived to DC hotel this a.m. at 615a. On the other hand, maybe being #SleeplessinSF made the team stronger…
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Go figure, a team on a 10 game win streak against a team with no sleep. 10-3 SF Giants over the Washington Nationals. Maybe SF is just a bunch of nocturnals.
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Another sign that Rory McIlroy has been anointed the new Tiger Woods. All the headlines are not about who’s leading, but about how far Rory is off the pace.
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Apparently the Buffalo Bills are having so many pre-season intra-squad fights that coach Doug Marrone blew up at his players yesterday. This is shocking to Bills fans who didn’t think their team could hit anybody.
Not that Obama’s perfect.. But then there’s Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX), who said this week that the President can’t protect the U.S. from ISIS because “if you’re Commander-in-Chief you can’t be listening to Muslim brother advice on when it’s time to stop destroying Muslim brothers.”
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The Saints’ Jimmy Graham was fined $30,000 for dunking over the goalposts after two TDs last weekend. So the New Orleans tight end would have saved money had he just flipped off his defenders twice.
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North Texas, SMU and Troy University will start selling beer at football games this year, bringing the total of on-campus stadiums with beer sales to 21. Apparently schools that have already changed the policy haven’t reported an increase in bad behavior. Maybe because if fans could buy a beer in the stadium they wouldn’t feel the need to chug several of them pre-game
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She’s SO past her 15 minutes: V. Stiviano is now claiming Donald Sterling is gay and that she was just his beard during their relationship. Right, because if you really need a beard if you are a prominent conservative gay man who isn’t married. Oops,never mind.
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TSA at SFO says they have over 20,000 items left behind at checkpoints just this year, including a wheelchair. Thinking if someone claims that chair maybe they need their disabled placard taken away.
Johnny Manziel was fined $12,000 for his one-finger salute to the Washington bench. So about half the fine as if he had done something TRULY offensive, like wearing the wrong brand of socks.
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This Rick Perry indictment stems from trying to remove Rosemary Lehmberg. a Texas DA, from office after a DUI arrest. And Perry believes he was “lawful, legal and right” to do so. Okay, fair enough. But there have been two other Texas DAs arrested for DUI while Perry has been governor (Rick Harrison in 2009, and Terry McEachern in 2003), and he didn’t have a problem with them. Nor for that matter do I remember the Governor complaining about the DUI’s of Dick Cheney and George W. Bush.
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A University of Denver study found that couples who had wedding ceremonies with 150+ guests were much happier than couples in the study who had 50 guests or fewer. Maybe because after dealing with that many friends and relatives, your mate seems pretty sane by comparison.
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The NCAA denied Dorial Green-Beckham’s request to play football at Oklahoma immediately after transferring. The star WR was kicked off Missouri’s team after two marijuana arrests and allegedly pushing another Missouri student down at least four stairs. Well makes, sense, Green-Beckman doesn’t sound ready for college football, he sounds ready for the NFL.
From Jim Barach: “A new app tells the user how much time they are spending on their smartphone. Which is probably too much if you need an app to tell you how much time you are spending on your smartphone.”
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From Bill Littlejohn: In London, Big Ben just had its clock cleaned. But Buckingham Palace said not to worry, it’s just the preseason.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Janice Hough, Manziel jokes, NFL jokes, Rick Perry jokes, Rory McIlroy jokes, SF Giants jokes, TSA jokes
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August 19, 2014
They took so long to announce fate of #SFGiants #Cubs game at Wrigley, figure Bud Selig has a Blue Ribbon committee deciding it.
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If the #SFGiants lose a playoff spot by one game will some other team vote a playoff share to the #Cubs ground crew?
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Tuesday night’s rain delay lasted longer than the Cubs 2014 playoffs hopes.
Uber has introduced “Uber Corner Store” a new trial service offering on-demand fast delivery of medicine, toiletries and other products. Thinking this could be a very popular business in Colorado.
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New Orleans plays Cleveland on September 14. After last night’s salute Saints’ defenders won’t need bounties to want to knock Manziel’s head off.
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Okay, heaven knows I am not a Seahawks fan. But just have to wonder the reaction if instead of Johnny Manziel flipping the bird at the opposing bench last night, it had been Richard Sherman.
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If the MLB season ended today, for the first time since 1993, neither the #RedSox nor #Yankees would be in the playoffs. Tragic, really.
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Ohio State star QB Braxton Miller reinjured his right, throwing shoulder yesterday in practice and may miss his senior season. The poor kid may have nothing to do this year but go to class.
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Former American Idol contestant William Hung just got married. Just guessing no one asked him to sing at his own wedding.
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Soccer star Luis Suarez stated today “I will not bite again.” Wonder if besides playing for Barcelona if Suarez is auditioning for a part in that A T & T Vampire movie commercial….
Who knows whether this Rick Perry indictment over trying to force a D.A. to resign from office will amount to anything. But somewhere in NJ Chris Christie has to be thinking “Couldn’t you have just closed one of her bridges or something?”
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British cyclist Jonathan Tiernan-Locke, banned for two years, says he did not blood dope but instead blamed his abnormal results on dehydration from an “alcoholic binge” with his girlfriend while celebrating his new Team Sky contract, drinking the equivalent of about a liter of vodka. The story didn’t work, but even if it had, guessing the team might have terminated him anyway for the stupidity.
The Cleveland Browns say they are not ready to name a starting QB. Well, the best of them yesterday was clearly Connor Shaw. 8 of 9 for 123 yards and a touchdown.
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So what do you get if you cross Tebowing and Manzieling? A one-fingered prayer? But no touchdowns.
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Can the #SFGiants borrow #JohnnyManziel to salute the #WrigleyField grounds crew?
The Wall St Journal has reported that the NFL is asking potential acts for the 2015 halftime show to PAY the league for the privllege of performing. And what if they don’t? The league will just have to raise ticket, hot dog and beer prices? #noshame
Bud Selig, whose Blue Ribbon committee on the Oakland A’s moving to San Jose never ruled in 5 plus years, talking today about how the team needs a new ballpark “This is always something I wanted to get resolved before I leave office, which is another 5½ or six months.” Gosh, and Selig said it with a straight face.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: #Tarpgate, Cubs jokes, Janice Hough, Manziel jokes, Rick Perry jokes, SF Giants jokes, Uber jokes, Wrigley jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
August 17, 2014
Okay, so who had the #SFGiants outscoring the #49ers today?
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Did #49ers try to avoid postgame traffic mess by playing in a way to encourage fans to leave early? #LevisStadium
So will the #49ers announce their starting QB by the third game of the #NFL preseason?
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Inside Laguna Coast Wilderness Park, in Southern California, park rangers discovered a marijuana farm with about 4,000 plants. After waiting two weeks to see if the farmers returned, they chopped down the plants and hauled them away. Two weeks? That was plenty of time to make a deal with Colorado.
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A 22-year-old Texas woman told police that she stole a $3.99 bottle of wine and drank it in public so she would get arrested and be able to see her boyfriend in jail. Might we have unanimous agreement across the country that this woman should have free birth control?
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In Los Angeles, officials plan to start a pilot program that will make ballots into lottery tickets, with cash prizes of up to $50,000. Critics worry that the idea will lead to people voting for cash with no knowledge of the candidates. As opposed to voting for free with no knowledge of the candidates?
SF Giants and Los Angeles Dodgers seem to be playing a rotating game of “Hot Potato” with the Division title.
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Michigan natives and Olympic gold medalists Charlie White and Meryl Davis were grand marshals for Sunday’s Pure Michigan 400. But they were booed for their “Drivers, start your engines” rendition. Gosh, with all the overlap between NASCAR and ice skating fans, who saw this coming?
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A 62 year old woman who has been trying to stowaway on planes for months, and finally made it onboard a Southwest flight, was released 3 days into her 117 day jail sentence due to Los Angeles jail overcrowding. Since she’ll no doubt try to be back on a plane in a week, maybe some airline should just hire her. She’d be friendlier (and younger) than some flight attendants
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All this drama over preseason #NFL football. If it actually meant anything teams would charge regular season prices for tickets.
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Tweet of the day from an expert on the U.S. legal system. “Texas Governor Rick Perry has been indicted by a LIB DEM special prosecutor for doing his job. I’ve been there, done that. This is the same tactic that Vladimir Putin uses to eliminate his political opponents. Thanks, Mr. Obama.” The tweeter? Oliver North.
Understand that U.S. government spending is an issue. But still hard to fathom how many people who want spending cuts for welfare and foreign aid think that somehow the $$$ won’t count if we spend it, again, to try to stabilize Iraq.
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Finally, from T.C. “The Super Bowl Champion Seattle Seahawks were lucky their plane landed in Denver for tonight’s preseason game vs The Broncos. Throughout the flight; the players kept chanting “Omaha, Omaha!”.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, Janice Hough, Levis stadium jokes, SF Giants jokes
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August 3, 2014
At a Swedish church. a woman found 80 skeletons stuffed into Ikea bags. Apparently they were excavated during a renovation five years ago and not reburied. Well, yeah, because presumably no one could figure out the instructions.
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Bristol Palin, who released a memoir, was on Dancing with the Stars twice, and had her only reality show, is now suing her baby daddy Levi for child support of $1750 a month dating back to 2012. Bristol claims zero income for 2013 and 2014. Guess she couldn’t do something unthinkable like go on welfare, or actually get a job?
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The #SFgiants are the only team in major league baseball with four different pitchers who have thrown a complete game. And many younger fans are thinking “what’s a complete game?”
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Michael Morse clearly turned a fly ball into a double tonight, but the SF Giants’ Jake Peavy let it get to him enough to give up four runs. So where do you go to find a “pitcher whisperer?”
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Jimmy Graham dunked a football over the goalposts today after a touchdown in the Saints scrimmage, a move that will be illegal this year this season. Wonder how many violations it will take to get a two-game suspension.
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A lot of angry, ignorant people were against bringing that American humanitarian doctor infected with Ebola to an isolation ward in an Atlanta hospital. Wonder how many of them are also anti-vaccine?
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Robert F. Kennedy Jr, whose first marriage ended in divorce, whose second wife killed herself while they were estranged, and who has allegedly been having a 2-year affair during his engagement, got married again today to Cheryl Hines. A smart woman, who knows? But she’s got the foolish choices part down.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes
Tags: IKEA jokes, NFL jokes, Palin jokes, SF Giants jokes
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July 29, 2014
Forget all these minor league players the #SFGiants are using to try to right the ship. Is Susan Sarandon busy? #bulldurham
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#SFGiants fans doing the wave? Is this a competition to see if folks in the stands can be as embarrassing as team on the field?
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With so many teams thinking they have a chance for a Wild Card, there’s a lot less action around the July 31 MLB trade deadline. Of course, if baseball wanted more media attention, they’d figure out a way to get Lebron James involved in some of these decisions.
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With the trade deadline approaching, players’ families on non-contending teams are anxiously awaiting possible moves. Which means in late July with the Cubs, most wives have real estate agents on speed dial.
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Donald Trump just said he won’t do anything ‘totally stupid’ in his bid to buy NFL’s Buffalo Bills. Why stop now?
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FSU will use GPS tracking devices on their football team this season during games. The school wants to monitor and track different analytics to prevent injuries. Tallahassee police presumably wonder if the players can keep them on 24-7?
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A new study found that more than 35 % of Americans have debts in collection. And Texas cities have some of the largest shares of their populations being reported to collection agencies: Dallas (44.3 %); El Paso (44.4 %), Houston (43.7 %), McAllen (51% and San Antonio (44%). Heck of a Texas Miracle, Rick Perry.
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Not the NFL. Apparently #ESPN actually worries about losing their female audience.. Steven A. Smith was suspended 5 shows for his comments…., more than #RayRice.
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Almost as creative as “Witness for the Prosecution.” Lawyers for former Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell and his wife Maureen McDonnell, on trial for corruption, are claiming that the couple couldn’t have conspired together, because they weren’t speaking to each other at the time.
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Robert McDonald, a former Army officer and corporate CEO was confirmed today as the new Veterans Affairs secretary by a 97-0 vote. 97-0?! And Obama nominated him? Where was the Ted Cruz filibuster?.
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Apparently Oakland Raiders owner Mark Davis has had preliminary talks with local officials about moving the team to San Antonio. Guess with just having the Spurs in town, the city feels in need of a sports train wreck?
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Passengers on a three-hour Boston Harbor whale watching tour were stuck on the boat overnight when it got entangled in the line attached to a lobster pot. Were there warning signs? Like two names on the manifest being “The Professor” and “Mary Ann?”
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It’s getting bad in Baltimore. The next Ravens’ arrest may be for impersonating a member of the Cincinnati Bengals.
From Alex Kaseberg. “The Baltimore Ravens have had five arrests in the off-season. It is so bad, “Netflix” is making a series about the Ravens called: “Orange is the New Purple and Black.”
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Rangers catcher J.P. #Arencibia had 7 RBI’s tonight. One more than #SFGiants have had in last six games combined.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Cubs jokes, ESPN jokes, Janice Hough, Ravens jokes, SF Giants jokes, Susan Sarandon jokes, Texas jokes, trade deadline jokes
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Left Coast Sports Babe 