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Early Christmas blessings.

December 22, 2013

Thinking the BCS should be sending San Jose State’s team a major Christmas present. Had the Spartans not beaten Fresno State, the Bulldogs instead of being humiliated in Las Vegas by USC, would have been blown out in a major BCS bowl.

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So in “Miracle on 34th Street”, much is made over the question of whether a beloved but allegedly fictional character is real. Sort of like if they made a move about a Chicago Cub wearing a World Series ring.

 

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Washington State did such an incredible job of snatching defeat out of the jaws of victory. Are we sure Tony Romo isn’t somehow involved?

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Who’d have expected this a handful of years ago? That USC beating Stanford in football would have been an upset? And that the Trojans’ reward for that win would have been a berth in today’s Royal Purple Las Vegas Bowl?

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Meanwhile USC fans chanted “over-rated” at Fresno State as the Trojans demolished the Bulldogs. And really, the only chance Fresno State probably would have had in the game is if Lane Kiffin were still coaching at USC.

 

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Some people seem to have a problem with the idea that “freedom of religion” doesn’t mean just “freedom to follow MY religion.” And the same folks also don’t seem to get that “free speech” doesn’t just mean “freedom to say something I agree with.”

 

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That infamous PR executive who tweeted “Going to Africa. Hope I don’t get AIDS. Just kidding. I’m white!” has been fired. Guessing unless she changes her name, she won’t have to explain to any other potential future employer “So why did you leave your last position?”

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Lindsey Vonn, who thought she injured her right knee today in a fall during the World Cup Downhill, says she didn’t do any new damage and she still plans to compete in the Sochi Olympics. Who does Lindsey think she is? RGIII?

 

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Guess Scott Boras miscalculated. Shin Soo Choo ended up signing with the Texas Rangers for 7 years, and only $130 million, after he reportedly earlier turned down 7 years and $140 million with the Yankees. Poor Choo, how will he feed his family?

 

Uh oh, now what do some in the GOP do? In a People magazine interview, when the President was asked “Who would you rather spend the day with: Kim and Kanye or the Duck Dynasty Family?’ Obama said the Duck Dynasty family, that “they seem like a pretty fun bunch” and he has watched the show on Air Force One.

 

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Target’s commercials – “Expect more, pay less.”  Well, they may have the “pay less” down. But 40 million people expected more security.

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Couldn’t they have used a car phone?

December 21, 2013

Uh, oh. North Korea is getting technologically advanced. They have threatened South Korea to “strike mercilessly without notice.” The threat was sent by fax.

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Another longer threat was sent by mail. But in South Korea they can’t view it to respond until they find someone who has a Betamax player.

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To all those in the GOP screaming about free speech with Mr. Duck Dynasty, I somehow missed your defense of Alec Baldwin

(And heck, Baldwin even goes after photographers, which might count as “lame-stream media.)

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Mississippi State was fined $25,000 by the SEC for violating the league’s “artificial noisemaker” policy. The fine stems from a fan tradition of showing up at games with cowbells, which can only be used at “approved times.” So alas I guess it’s true, you CAN have too much cowbell.

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Since he’s doing so well as Governor of California, a group is trying to get Jerry Brown to run for President again. Does it occur to them that the reason Jerry is doing such a good job is that he no longer cares about running for President?

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Domino’s has apparently come up with a vegan pizza with soy cheese in Israel. And they may someday introduce it here in the U.S. For all those health food types who have been longing to order from Domino’s – both of them.

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Carlos Beltran says now he has always wanted to be a Yankee, and “it means a lot to me.” Yeah, $45 million to be exact.

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Five days after Mack Brown resigned, many Texas football players said they never saw it coming. Which is shocking in and of itself. Not surprised when athletes don’t pay attention to their studies, but when they don’t pay attention to ESPN….

 

TARGET is offering a 10% discount Saturday and Sunday to apologize to shoppers for exposing 40 million credit cards to hackers. Here’s an idea, how about a 5% discount, and spend the other 5% on upgrading their credit card security?

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A federal judge struck down Utah’s same-sex marriage ban Friday. Thereby incensing many in the state who believe that marriage should remain a sacred bond between a man, and a woman, and a woman, and maybe yet another woman.

 

Tonight’s pre-Olympic exhibition game featured a brawl between the U.S and Canada women’s hockey teams. A brawl resulting in 10 fighting majors and other penalties. Hmm, if this keeps up could result in serious women’s hockey ratings.

 

 

Economic Darwin award for the day:  A woman who is head of PR for IAC, (parent company of Vimeo, Tinder and OkCupid) tweeted before she got on a flight tonight “Headed to Africa. Hope I don’t get AIDS. Just kidding, I’m white.” Her company’s response? “This is an outrageous, offensive comment that does not reflect the views and values of IAC. Unfortunately, the employee in question is unreachable on an international flight, but this is a very serious matter and we are taking appropriate action.” Anyone looking for a job opening in PR?

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Only one more shopping day

December 20, 2013

Until the first NCAA football FBS bowl game of the year.

 

And if you know the name of the game, and who’s playing, and you’re not an alum of either team…. you probably have two much time on your hands.

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The NFL said today it “strongly opposes” the FCC trying to end their 40-year sports blackout rule. Right. Because the average team only made $44 million in operating profit last year. (Source – Forbes) The owners have to feed their families.

 

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Kobe Bryant, who just returned from a torn Achilles, has fractured his knee and will miss at least six weeks. So wonder how much Jack Nicholson is offering for courtside seats to the Clippers?

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Olympic figure skating champion Brian Boitano came out as gay today. “I’m shocked” said absolutely nobody.

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Whatever you think of President Obama, sending Russia a U.S delegation w/ ,  &  does perhaps rank as the most elegant one, or rather three-finger salute of his presidency.

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Pope Francis now has stated that he supports breastfeeding and he is okay with women doing it in public. Can we start a pool on when Rush Limbaugh’s head will explode?

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Airbus, which would like airlines who buy their planes to put fewer seats in them, did a recent study of passengers. 54% said “an increase of comfort in economy class was critical or absolutely critical.” Perhaps those 54% should have a more reasonable dream – like winning the lottery.

 

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As a British phone hacking scandal broadens, now it’s been revealed that Prince William referred to Kate as “babykins.” The Palace is not amused, but hey, on the other hand, an heir to the throne saying sweet nothings to his own wife…..

 

 

John Boehner is calling out “conservative groups”, Peter King said Rand Paul owes “that patriot,” NID Director James Clapper, an apology for saying he should resign for “lying” to a Senate committee about govt surveillance, and Glenn Beck called Chris Christie a “fat nightmare.”   Remember when not belonging to any organized party meant being a Democrat?

Somewhere Will Rogers is smiling.

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So the government apparently has had access to some of our phone calls. On the other hand, in the private sector, Target apparently allowed access to 40 million Americans’ credit cards.

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Fortunately there appear to be no fatalities after the roof collapsed at London’s Apollo Theatre tonight during a performance of “The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time. although as many as 80 people may have been injured. But think of all the men who reluctantly went along with their wives who had said “Honey, just come with me to one show, how much could it hurt?”

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“Duck Dynasty” is on hiatus, after their star was suspended for anti-gay comments. So what are viewers to do who find “Honey Boo-Boo” too intellectual?

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Well of course she did. Sarah Palin has defended Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson: “Free speech is an endangered species. Those ‘intolerants’ hatin’ and taking on the Duck Dynasty patriarch for voicing his personal opinion are taking on all of us.” Right. Free speech is important… unless it’s from anyone taking on Sarah herself.

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So this is what Phil Robertson actually said when asked what is sinful. “Start with homosexual behavior and just morph from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men.” Uh, START with homosexual behavior? Why didn’t he start with “sleeping around?” Except that that would alienate too many of his fellow conservatives, including the junior senator from his home state of Louisiana.

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Rainbow delegation.

December 19, 2013

President Obama has chosen Billie Jean King as a leader of the U.S. delegation to the Olympic games in Sochi. The decision has to be tough for some conservatives who normally oppose gay rights. Because it’s also giving the finger to Putin.

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Keith Richards turned 70 Wednesday. “I’ll take – ‘Celebrities we never expected to make it to 40 for $600, Alex.'”

 

A Kansas news anchor who was heard at the end of a live broadcast saying “let’s get the f— out of here” was fired by his station. Well, that’s one way to get the “f— out of there.”

 

One of the problems in this country is that most Americans think they have a better chance of winning the Mega Millions than being killed in an car accident while they check the winning numbers on their phones.

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On the other hand, it’s not just Americans,  A  Taiwanese tourist in Melbourne, Australia walked off a pier and fell into the bay. She told police who rescued her “I was checking my Facebook page on the phone and I’ve fallen in.'” And somewhere Darwin again is updating his status “Missed it by THAT much.”

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The NY Yankees have been fined $28 million in luxury tax. $28 million? That’s barely enough to cover a utility infielder.

 

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A now former Walmart employee was so unhappy he didn’t win “Employee of the Month” that he fired a gunshot at the car of the co-worker who did. Do we really need to ask in what state?

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Washington LB London Fletcher said today he’s “99% sure” he’ll retire from professional football after this season. Which means he could be back in 2014 with the Redskins.

 

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Richard Sherman says it’s a bad idea to host the Super Bowl in a cold weather city. Though he added “Seattle’s stadium has been around since 2002 and we’d be a great host.” Tomorrow’s forecast for Seattle? 2-5 inches of snow….

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New SF Giants left fielder Michael Morse, who seems like a nice guy, was asked about A T & T’s less than hitting- friendly reputation. “If you hit one, you hit one. It doesn’t matter what park you’re at.” And some of his new teammates just giggled.

 

Starbucks expects to break last year’s single day record, and sell more than 2 million gift cards today  – the Thursday before Christmas – at an average cost of about $35 a card. Which is enough to buy the lucky recipients at least four cups of coffee.

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NFL Senior VP of Events Frank Supovitz “I think it would be better if it snowed a little bit during the game. I think it’ll just make it more memorable.” Spoken by a man who never played football, who will have private transportation to MetLife Stadium and who will watch the game from an indoor luxury suite.

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We have a budget deal and the Fed said the economy is so strong it doesn’t need as much stimulus. Plus the Obamacare website is improving. You know what means… time for more GOP hearings on Benghazi.

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Khloe Kardashian has tweeted about her split from Lamar Odom – “this is Torture to My Soul.” Shocking! A Kardashian has a soul?

 

From Jim Barach:  “Doctors in Brazil performed a C-Section on a woman who wasn’t pregnant. That would be like scheduling brain surgery on Donald Trump.”

Or I am thinking, heart surgery on Dick Cheney.

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Pippa Middleton is engaged to be married. No word on a date but might be the first time in history millions of men turn in to see the wedding dress…preferably from the back.pippa

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Lottery fever?

December 18, 2013

When they total U.S. retail sales this December will Mega Millions lottery tickets count?

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So were all these people rushing to buy tickets risking affluenza?

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A winning Mega Millions jackpot ticket was purchased today in San Jose. The winner might have almost enough to buy Santa Clara 49ers season tickets.

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Okay I admit it, my coworkers went in for a handful of Mega Millions tickets today, I declined. But when I heard “winning ticket sold in the South Bay,” yes, there was a second of “uh oh….”

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Channel 2 in the SF Bay Area is doing “Breaking News” on the winning “Mega Millions” ticket. So every few minutes they were  showing a live picture… of a locked up gift store in San Jose….

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Edward Snowden has written an “open letter to the people of Brazil” saying he is willing to help the country investigate U.S. surveillance of Brazilian citizens. Translation: Snowden is already tired of living in Russia.

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Eight tech officials, including CEO’s from Apple, Facebook, Yahoo and Google, wrote a letter to Obama and Congress calling for curbs to NSA surveillance. Apparently they want the surveillance left to the corporate sector.

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It may be December, but those Thanksgiving stalwarts the Dallas Cowboys and Detroit Lions apparently decided to do their giving on the field this week.

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–The Harvard bomb threat that closed several buildings on Monday was apparently emailed in by a student to administrators, police and the Harvard Crimson. The young man in question was scheduled to take an exam that day. You’d think if he had time to think of the scheme, he also had time to study.

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Urban Meyer says he’s an “awful loser. I guess I’d rather be known as that than as a good loser.” I have news for the OSU coach. He’s not known as a good winner either.

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Oregon CB Troy Hill has been suspended following his arrest last Friday for “menacing” and “criminal mischief.” Well, the Ducks may not be going to a BCS bowl, but good to see their players are still in NFL prospect form.

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Scientists at Emory University devised an algorithm using Twitter to figure out how various NFL fan bases deal with wins and losses. Turns out the Raiders fans have the biggest swings between happy and sad. Good thing they stuck with football, Cubs fans might have crashed the system.

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Harold Camping, the California preacher who freaked out thousands of people when he predicted the end of the world has died at age 92. So wonder if his predictive power was at least good enough to know he didn’t need to buy Christmas presents.

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Back in Texas, an advisor to Attorney General Greg Abbott tweeted earlier this fall that State Senator Wendy Davis is “too stupid to be governor.” “Too stupid to be governor” of Texas? Didn’t think based on recent history that was possible.

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A Delta flight slid some distance off the runway last night in the snow at Madison Airport. The important question for many this time of year… did the airline at least give passengers a few extra frequent flier miles?

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The Charlotte Bobcats said they will unveil their new “Charlotte Hornets” logo Dec. 21, The team will rename itself for the 2014-15 season. Alas they will have a new name, new uniforms and the same lousy players

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Some 49ers fans plan to taunt Seahawks fan by purchasing a billboard in Seattle with pictures of the five Super Bowl trophies SF has won. Fair enough…but no doubt Seahawks fans will in turn point out that they can see the billboard on their way to home playoff games.

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Justin Bieber said during an L.A. radio interview that “After the new album, uh, I’m actually, uh, I’m retiring man, I’m retiring…” Alas, unlike Megyn Kelly, Bieber probably really WAS joking.

 

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What’s a few zeros…

December 17, 2013

The Mega Millions jackpot, already at $586 million, may reach a billion before Tuesday’s drawing because of lottery fever. Right, because there are so many things you can’t buy for half a billion….

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Marissa Mayer is one of several tech executives scheduled to meet with President Obama Tuesday. Because maybe her changes with Yahoo mail have made the Obamacare website look good by comparison?

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Of course, there’s a good chance Obama wanted to meet with Mayer last month, but his invite got caught in Yahoo mail spam.

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Starting today, San Francisco has free wi-fi on Market Street. Yet another excuse for pedestrians to walk right into traffic,,,,

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A water leak filled a skyway bridge and closed one of the Terminals at San Jose Airport this morning. No word on a re-opening time, but wonder who will be the first airline to institute a pump fee.

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At Harvard, fake bomb threats resulted in the evacuation of some buildings and the cancellation of some final exams. And in the SEC, football players preparing for bowl games asked “What are final exams?”

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Dez Bryant said the reason he left the field early in the Cowboys’ loss to the Packers is that he didn’t want to be seen crying on the sideline. And Dallas fans are thinking “How do you think WE felt?”

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Why should New Jersey have a monopoly on Gubernatorial political comedy? Donald Trump now says he might run for Governor of New York next year.

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Peyton Manning was named SI’s “Sportsman of the Year.”   Now, the Broncos just lost their last game and who knows about the playoffs. But maybe this year’s award should be subtitled “Biggest name star least likely to embarrass himself or get arrested.”

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Ravens-Lions on MNF. Good economic stimulus. Because most of the country said “Meh, let’s go shopping.”

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ESPN says that Nick Saban brought Lane Kiffin to Tuscaloosa to help evaluate the Crimson Tide offense. This could be good news. For Oklahoma.

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–Chip Kelly, rumored to be a candidate for the U Texas head-coaching job, said “It’s just speculation, but I’m not involved in any jobs. I’m the coach of the Philadelphia Eagles.” So given past history when Kelly announced he was staying at Oregon it will be about 10 days before he heads to Austin?

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The New Orleans Saints are apparently mulling a change after Garrett Hartley missed another two field goals yesterday. Hey, Morten Andresen is only 53 now!

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A 58 year old SF woman, accused of speeding at over 80 MPH on city streets in her Mercedes-Benz this September, will be charged with felony vehicular manslaughter for crashing into a minivan, and killing a 16-year-old boy. So will there be an adult “affluenza” defense? 
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If it is better to give than receive, then the #DallasCowboys in the second half yesterday were the best team in the #NFL

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Great ending for the Ravens with a 61 yard field goal to win at the end of the 4th quarter. Does this mean Nick Saban is more likely to bolt Alabama for the NFL?

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It’s the most munchie-fun time of the year?

December 16, 2013

Pennsylvania police arrested a Florida man after a traffic stop after they found 20 pounds of marijuana in boxes wrapped as Christmas presents. Well, who’s to say the boxes weren’t Christmas presents?

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Fox NFL announcers before 49ers-Buccaneers game Sunday in a gray Tampa. “There’s no sunshine in the Sunshine State. Temperatures are 70 degrees and falling.” And no doubt East Coast viewers are all thinking “just STFU.”

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In-N-Out Burgers has indicated they do not want to expand to the East Coast. This is bad news for both East Coast residents and any of their under-employed cardiologists.

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Former MLB player Ryan Freel, who reportedly had 9-10 concussions while he played, and who committed suicide last year, reportedly suffered from CTE. No doubt Bud Selig will address this with all the dedication he showed on the steroid issue.

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Joan Fontaine, 96, died today. Perhaps she went to Manderley again?

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The Dallas Cowboys blew a 23 point lead today. To paraphrase a Horace Walpole quote – “A tragedy to those in North Texas, a comedy to those who live everywhere else.”

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Monte Kiffin is making his son Lane look good.

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As TC says “Good news Cowboy fans, “Everytime Romo throws a pick, an angel gets their wings”.

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Apparently the Saints decided to take a bye week. Or at least a bye three quarters. #gladitsnottheplayoffs

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The Miami Dolphins upset the New England Patriots 24-20. So the question of the day “WWGB?” Who will Gisele blame?

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Not the Onion. Larry Pratt, president of Gun Owners of America, said the problem in America is overly restrictive. “Every one of our mass murders in our country has occurred in places where guns were prohibited. The legislation that is on the books is lethal. It is killing people. All of these gun free zones are murder magnets. We’ve simply got to get rid of them.” Hey, guns on airplanes, in schools, in theaters, what could possibly go wrong….?

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John Kerry said Kim Jong Un is “reckless” and “insecure.” What was his first clue?

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Journey guitarist Neal Schon and former “Real Housewives of D.C.” star Michaele Holt Salahi wed in a Pay-Per-View ceremony in San Francisco Sunday. Proving it was possible to show something less relevant than the Redskins-Falcons game.

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Redskins coach Mike Shanahan isn’t planning to resign and according to ESPN sources “actually would like to return to Washington next season as long as he can run the organization the way he wants.” I think we have a better chance for world peace.

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Apparently all four GOP candidates for lieutenant governor in Texas think that public schools should teach creationism. Not sure about creationism but these folks are not doing much for the theory of “intelligent design.”

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So much fuss over a picture. But for different reasons we can I think be thankful that “selfies” weren’t a phenomenon when either W. or Bill Clinton was President.

(and btw, since some friends have asked, the explanation from the photographer of the Obama and friends picture…. http://thelede.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/12/11/selfie-of-obama-was-misinterpreted-photographer-says/?_r=0)

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Santa Clause?

December 15, 2013

 

All of this controversy over a “white” label. Hey, it only involves a fictional character who many grownups don’t believe in anyway. But enough about Megyn Kelly

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If “affluenza” and parents who don’t set limits is a reason to avoid prison, shouldn’t “poorenza” and not having parents around to set limits qualify as the same excuse?

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Snow and sleet at Army-Navy game. Otherwise known this year as “Super Bowl Practice.”

 

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Only missed the Mega Millions jackpot by six numbers last night. And I didn’t even play..

 

 

Rumor has it Khloe Kardashian might be dating Matt Kemp. “What a shame that the Dodgers might have to deal with all that distraction” said absolutely no one in San Francisco.

 

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Nick Saban got a $7 million a year contract extension. Imagine how much he could have gotten if the Alabama coach hadn’t gotten stupid with fighting for that second on the clock to attempt a 60 yard field goal.

 

Internal ESPN memo (no joke) “Recently, there have been numerous incidents in which the word “sucks” has been used on our air. This word is simply not appropriate for ESPN.” Well, except where Dallas is concerned.

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Figures. Yesterday new Texas AD said of football coach Mack Brown “Hopefully we’ll get together, be able to work for many years to come.” Today Brown officially resigned. To be fair, Patterson didn’t say what he hoped they worked together on..

 

Wonder how many of those trumpeting the “War on Christmas” are the same ones oohing and aahing over all those ads suggesting luxury cars as gifts?

 

 

FSU QB Jameis Winston has as expected won the Heisman. Only a freshman, Winston has demonstrated his NFL readiness with a police investigation BEFORE he turned pro.

 

 

 

Pope Francisco told an Italian newspaper that he is not a Marxist. “But I have met many Marxists in my life who are good people, so I don’t feel offended.” He might have added “most of the people attacking me would also call Jesus a Marxist.”

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I’m dreaming of a white Santa?

December 13, 2013

Megyn Kelly missed her own show last night after ‘white’ Santa and Jesus comments. Thinking maybe somebody got put on the cosmic “naughty’ list.

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Regarding Megyn Kelly’s “Santa is white” line, hard to top Jon Stewart’s analysis: “And who are you actually talking to?” Children who are sophisticated enough to be watching a news channel at 10 o’clock at night, yet innocent enough to still believe Santa Claus is real — yet racist enough to be freaked out if he isn’t white?”

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Even if “affluenza” is a description, it’s no excuse for spoiled entitled behavior by the rich. But the diagnosis also might be a good way to describe when wealthy people have a complete aversion to any sort of tax hike.

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Just wondering, will be covered under Obamacare?

 

 

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Ted Cruz is apparently running for President in 2016. This is great news, for comedy writers.

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So in North Korea would the Army Navy game be a version of the Hunger Games?

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MLB will ban home-plate collisions when runners are trying to score. And the Chicago Cubs are thinking “what are they talking about?”

 

Move over “God is Testing Me” RGIII, there’s a new winner in the perspective bowl: Kanye West – “I’m just giving of my body on the stage and putting my life at risk, literally. And if I slipped … You never know. And I think about it. I think about my family and I’m like ‘Wow, this is like being a police officer or something, in war or something.’”

 

Robinson Cano said he left NY because “I didn’t feel respect. I didn’t get respect from them and I didn’t see any effort.” The Yankees offer, $175 million over seven years. How do I get disrespected like that?

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Strange to have some bipartisan accord this Christmas in Washington. But for fans of train wrecks, at least there’s still the Redskins.-

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According to FlightStats, more than 9% of arrivals from January through November of this year for American, JetBlue and United were more than 45 minutes late. Shocking. Over 90% of flights were allegedly LESS than 45 minutes late.

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Apparently only the shooter himself is dead in a Colorado High School shooting this morning, following upon several stabbings in the parking lot after the Broncos game last night. But what’s going on? Is Colorado making a last minute push to beat out Florida, Arizona or Texas for “Crazy State of the Year??

 

 

Notre Dame has readmitted Everett Golson, and he will be able to play next year. The QB was suspended from the school this fall for “poor academic judgment” (i.e. cheating on a test.) No doubt the Fighting Irish took Golson’s admission of guilt and contrition into account, that and the team’s four loss season.

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From Bill Littlejohn:  “A U.S. Congress bipartisan agreement  on the budget has been reached,preventing a shutdown of everything signifigant in Washington, D.C. except Robert Griffin III”

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Signs, signs, everywhere a sign…

December 13, 2013

Next time a world leader dies, can the memorial organizers at least get a signer who stayed at a Holiday Inn Express once?

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The fake signer at Mandela’s memorial now is blaming his incoherent gestures on schizophrenia and hallucinations. And the captain of the Costa Concordia said “Why didn’t I think of that?”l

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Miley Cyrus has announced she will perform in Times Square on New Year’s Eve just before the ball drops. And across the country millions of Americans are thinking “Can’t they just drop it ON her? Please?”

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Speaker John Boehner today went after conservative groups opposed to the budget deal, saying they were “using our (House) members and using the American people for their own goals.” How dare they? Boehner himself is supposed to be in charge of using members and the American people for HIS own goals.

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George W. Bush sent a really nice note to Alabama kicker Cade Foster, who went 0-3 in the Iron Bowl against Auburn, telling him “Life has its setbacks. I know! However, you will be a stronger human with time. I wish you all the best.” (And glad he didn’t say “Cade, you’re doing a heckuva job.”)

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A man was arrested last weekend for leaving a four-month old baby in a strip club parking lot for three hours. Do we have to ask the state? Yep. Florida.

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AJ McCarron says Nick Saban is staying at Alabama because Saban told him so. Well that settles it then, because we all know a college coach would NEVER lie to his players about something like that…

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A woman on trial for allegedly killing her new husband by pushing him over a cliff in Montana’s Glacier National Park a week after their marriage has agreed to plead guilty to second-degree murder. Is she blaming it on the 7 day itch?

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Paul Ryan is telling detractors like Florida Marco Rubio who are condemning his and Patty Murray’s budget deal to “read the bill.” “Read?” “Read?!” Maybe Ryan really is a closet liberal.

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So did the cold weather this week in California affect tonight’s NFL game? Just possible the San Diego Chargers felt completely at home with the freezing temperatures in Denver against the Broncos.

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Oprah Winfrey said she never wanted children because she has been so busy with her career “my kids would hate me.” Shame Kris Jenner never had that thought.

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North Korea leader Kim Jong Un’s has executed his uncle. And we thought the Cheney household holiday dinners were potentially tense over Lynn Cheney’s being against her sister’s right to marry.

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Ah, Southern California family values. An Orange County plastic surgery who has performed multiple operations – nose jobs, boob jobs, etc – on his 25 and 18 year old daughters, told a reporter “I don’t think I influenced my daughters personally to have surgery, because we discourage it. But they have grown up in an environment of beauty. Our cars are always immaculate, our house is immaculate and all our friends are beautiful.”

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Susan Sarandon said during an interview that during most awards shows she’s attended, except the Oscars, she’s showed up stoned. Wonder if this will start a rush on medical marijuana prescriptions before the SAG and Golden Globes shows.

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Just for the heck of it.  Saw a premiere of “The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug” tonight. As a woman who doesn’t care much about special effects and battle scenes am the wrong person to review it. (Though at least I’m not afraid of spiders.)  Especially since the movie bears little relation to the book. But three words: “Needed more She-Elf.”

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Are you there, God? It’s me RG.

December 11, 2013

The “sense of perspective” award for the day goes to #RGIII, who said of his benching: “It’s a tough time, and God’s testing me.”

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The Giants are reportedly considering a long term contract with Pablo Sandoval based on him losing weight. Maybe it will become a thing in SF – their top sluggers not ending their careers at the same size they started out.

 

Inspired by my friend Jeff Klein. So what will Fox News and Rush Limbaugh make of it when President Obama shakes hands with that “Marxist” “Person of the Year” Pope Francis?

 

Florida prosecutors just announce they will not file domestic violence charges against George Zimmerman after his girlfriend submitted an affidavit from Samantha Scheibe saying she did not want “my boyfriend” charged. Is it too soon to start a pool on the date of George’s next arrest?

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Pope Francis is Time’s “Person of the Year.” What’s more surprising? That he’s made the Papacy relevant? Or that Time is still around?

 

 

Interesting sidebar to the whole Obama-Castro handshake brouhaha. In 2012, the UN voted on a resolution to end the Cuban Embargo. The vote was 188 in favour to 3 against (United States, Israel, Palau) with 2 abstentions (Marshall Islands, the Federated States of Micronesia).

 

No more Sriracha can be shipped until next month because the California Dept. of Public Health is now enforcing stricter guidelines that require a 30-day hold on the product. Uh, as if any bacteria could survive a bath in the hot sauce….

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The lawyer for #JameisWinston‘s accuser is apparently going to hold a press conference Friday. Guessing not a #Heisman pep rally?

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NCAA President Mark Emmert said schools are still against the idea of “pay-for-play” for athletes: “There’s certainly no interest in turning college sports into the professional or semi-professional.” And Emmert said it with a straight face.

 

And follow up from last night.  As of tonight, Texas football coach Mack Brown is still leaving. But stay tuned.

 

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If it’s really about being the most valuable to your team, this year’s #NFL MVP alas should probably be Aaron Rodgers.

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At Fenway Park they have constructed a 20-ft high sledding and tubing ramp called “Monster Sled”, with five separate paths. Sounds like fun. But actually wouldn’t this make more sense at Wrigley? Because who better than the Cubs for
cold play with steep dropoffs

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From Bill Littlejohn:  At the end of one play on Sunday, Cardinal DT Darnell Dockett deliberately stomped on the hand of Rams OT Chris Williams   .Later, Darnell  reportedly told a sportswriter, ‘So, Suh me'”

 

And the “aww” story of the day. In the U.S. passengers might just have asked for their plane to be on time:  http://www.sfgate.com/technology/businessinsider/article/An-Airline-And-Santa-Claus-Gave-These-Passengers-5054800.php

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Decisions, decisions.

December 11, 2013

The stories out of Austin keep changing by the hour. Texas football coach Mack Brown was retiring, then he wasn’t, then he is, then he’s staying, then he’s leaving…. Even Brett Favre is impressed.

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Although the male cheerleader didn’t actually trip the player, Oklahoma State announced they will discipline the student who extended a foot as one of the Oklahoma Sooners celebrated his end-of-game touchdown. Wonder if the young man has been offered a job with the Pittsburgh Steelers?

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Paul Ryan and Patty Murray said they have reached a bipartisan budget deal, which would prevent another government shutdown. Well, this weather in DC may be inconveniencing many but seems like there are benefits to Hell freezing over.

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A missing group of 2 adults and 4 children who went off to “play in the snow” have been found alive and in “good condition” in Nevada after being lost for two days. It’s good news, but maybe next time they get this idea the family should head to a ski resort? Or a mall with a snow making machine?

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Aaron Hernandez, writing to a pen “friend” from prison. “I really enjoy my days. It’s not that bad, honestly.” Seriously? Maybe Hernandez figures it’s better than say, having been traded to the Redskins.

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Uruguay’s Congress just voted to become the first country to legalize selling and growing marijuana. Can you say a new high for the Uruguay tourist industry.

 

Apparently over 200,000 people have signed up with a Dutch company potentially to be the first settlers to colonize Mars. Though to be fair, have to wonder how many of those signups were done by folks who secretly volunteered relatives or in-laws?

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Dear Gawd. Now George Zimmerman’s girlfriend is recanting her 911 call and gun story. Saying that she both wants to drop charges and get back together with him. If the police allow this can they add a condition that the two never leave the state of Florida? Crazy might be contagious.

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Cowboys owner Jerry Jones said today he still has confidence in defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin. Right, like Pat Haden said this Sept. of Monte’s son ” I’m behind Lane Kiffin 100 percent. I have great confidence in him….”

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At Nelson Mandela’s memorial President Barack Obama shook hands with Cuban President Raul Castro. Mandela would be proud. And maybe it’s an early Christmas present – Obama has given Fox News material for a week.

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So it begins. Sen. John McCain likened Obama’s handshake with Raul Castro to shaking hands with Adolf Hitler. Saying “Why would you shake hands with someone who’s keeping Americans in prison.” Uh, so exactly with how many countries would McCain advocate cutting off our relations?

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But really, all this commotion about Cuba. Americans can travel to Vietnam, Russia, China and even Iran. Not to mention a number of ridiculously repressive regimes around the world. Maybe it’s time to stop worrying about electoral votes in Florida? Besides, two words that might make even conservatives smile about a thawing in relations – Cuban cigars.

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A cold day in h*ll, or in New Jersey?

December 9, 2013

This just keeps getting better. To avoid congestion and due to limited parking, even fans with tickets that cost thousands will not be able to hire taxis or limos for the Super Bowl. There will be fewer than 13,000 parking places, but other than that the 80.000 ticket holders will have to use a “Fan Express” bus, or N.J. Transit. No drop-offs by private vehicles will be allowed.

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Bad weather across the U.S. has closed businesses and forced the cancellation of many flights. The worst thing in D.C., however, was that it didn’t cancel yesterday’s Redskins game.

 

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A 24 year old Georgia woman said that she and a guy she was casually dating are now a serious couple after he accidentally shot her in the leg last month with a hunting rifle, and he has even moved in to take care of her. How sweet. If they end up planning a wedding will the lovebirds invite Dick Cheney?

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South Carolina DE end Jadeveon Clowney was pulled over yesterday in a Chrysler 300 near Columbia and ticketed for going 110 mph in a 70 mph zone. The fine may be dwarfed by the endorsement Clowney he gets from Chrysler – — you can go 110mph in one of their cars?

 

Christmas cheer for the 49 states that aren’t Texas. On the ninth day of December my true love gave to me…. 11 #Cowboys sucking….

 

Eleanor Parker, who played the baroness in the “The Sound of Music” movie has died at 91. Let’s hope that NBC live special didn’t kill her.

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Candlestick Park is offering fans a chance to buy a pair of their plastic seats (for $749!) before the stadium is torn down after this season. Of course to get the full experience, will they sell the seats with cushions made of ice packs?

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The SF 49ers won’t be on MNF next year because of parking issues in Santa Clara at their new Levi’s stadium, which is surrounded by local businesses so won’t have parking on weekdays. Bodes well for the Cal-Oregon game scheduled for 2014 at the stadium…on October 24, a Friday night?!

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Oh the horror. Some local papers (and the coach) bemoaning how San Jose State was a bubble team that was shut out of a bowl. The Spartans are a fun team with a very good QB (David Fales). But they were 6-6.

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Washington coach Mike Shanahan says he might sit RGIII for the team’s 3 remaining games. Except that without their star QB the Redskins might unwatchable…. Oops. Never mind.

 

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Britney Spears told an interviewer she would “I would really like to have another baby, a girl,” because then “I’m not going to feel as alone in the world anymore.” Right.   Britney and her sister Jamie were so every mom’s dream in their late teens and early 20s.

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Richard Sherman thinks the SF 49ers only won yesterday because of “questionable calls” by the officials. “We expected to blow them out, but they got the benefit of a few calls tonight throughout the game and that helps you, especially on third down.” Well, this ought to do wonders for the Seahawks’ reputation for being less than good sports.

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Former San Diego Mayor Bob Filner was sentenced today to three month’s home confinement and three years probation. The judge also specified the Filner “may not seek or hold elective office during the term of his probation.” So otherwise voters might be stupid enough to elect him again?

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Snow place like home field?

December 9, 2013

NFL powers that be have to be wincing at all these awful games played in wintry weather today. Good thing it never snows in New Jersey in February.

 

Urban Meyer and his Ohio State Buckeyes have to be really disappointed that they aren’t heading to Pasadena. That Alamo Bowl swag just doesn’t sell for as high a price as the Rose Bowl stuff does.

 

After some of these calls recently, thinking maybe they fired the replacement refs because they were too good.

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For those asking, how can that be pass interference on the #Browns? Easy, they violated 11th commandment. Thou shalt not stop St. Brady.

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A near miracle in Pittsburgh. Had the Stanford band only been around to keep Antonio Brown in bounds.

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Washington coach Mike Shanahan apparently quit at the end of the 2012 season. As opposed to his team who apparently quit soon after the beginning of this one.

The Redskins are becoming the NFL equivalent of one of those Big 10 or SEC scheduled cupcakes.

(Dinur Blum comments that Tennessee Chattanooga resents the comparison to the Redskins.)

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Drew Brees has just gone over 50,000 yards with the #Saints. And in San Diego some Chargers fans are just sobbing.

(for non-NFL fans, the Chargers had Brees, but let him go in 2005 in favor of Philip Rivers.   And for that matter the Miami Dolphins passed on Drew too, thinking he wouldn’t come back from shoulder surgery.)

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On a positive note…. assuming this little thing called New Jersey weather cooperates, a Super Bowl featuring Peyton Manning and Drew Brees would be really fun to watch. Two of the best and classiest QBs in football.

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The 35 bowl matchups are out. But it’s just not the same without the Poulan Weed-Eater Independence Bowl.

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USC will play Fresno State in the Royal Purple Las Vegas Bowl.  SC Offensive coordinator Clay Helton will coach,  since  interim coach Ed Orgeron quit after Steve Sarkisian was chosen to coach next year.

So if USC wins, Helton might go down in Trojan history as the program’s only undefeated coach.

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A man trying to fly from Lafayette, Louisiana to California with a layover in Houston fell asleep on the first United Express flight, and woke up on a locked, empty plane after the flight crew had disembarked. Maybe he didn’t pay his “deboarding announcement” fee?

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It was cold enough that the were expecting snow in Las Vegas this weekend. Maybe proving the rightness of those in the GOP who said Hell would freeze over before the Obamacare website started working.

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Brett Favre’s been offensive coordinator for Oak Grove High School in Mississippi this year. And last night his team won the state title. So suppose we only have to wait about six months for Brett to decide if he’s coming back to coach next year.

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Sad, but sounds like he’s in contention for a Darwin: 23 year-old college student in San Antonio Texas was fatally shot by a campus cop after he was pulled over for erratic driving and an altercation ensued. A witness said his last words were a sarcastic “Oh, you’re gonna shoot me?’ (Open note. Do not say those words in Texas, Florida, etc….)

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A Rose-y Feeling.

December 8, 2013

My son points out:  “Only one current group of seniors in the country will never know what it’s like to not play in a BCS bowl…and every one is going to graduate…from Stanford.”

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Question of the night:  How the heck did this #Stanford team manage to lose to Utah?

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A gay teacher Catholic high school teacher near Philadelphia was fired Friday when he applied for a license to marry his male partner in New Jersey. Now had the guy been married 30 years and dumped his wife for a girl his daughter’s age, they’d have thrown him an engagement party.

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December 7, 1941, “A Day that will live in infamy.” Wonder how Americans in the 40s would have felt had NSA been able to spy on phone calls in Japan?

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David Ortiz says the Yankees lost “the face” of their ballclub when Cano signed with the Mariners. Leaving aside the insult to Jeter I would think the “face” of the Yankees would be more likely to be a George Washington or Ben Franklin, or someone else whose face is on money.

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Yankees fans are apparently burning Robinson Cano jerseys after he signed with Seattle. Whereas presumably they think Jacoby Ellsbury and Carlos Beltran just made smart decisions to feed their families.

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So Auburn ends up in the National Championship?    After today’s game with Missouri a better fit for either team might have been the Arena Football League.

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So Nick Saban said today Auburn should play for National Championship because they beat Alabama. Uh, okay, but how about LSU, who beat Auburn. And then Ole Miss, who beat LSU, and Mississippi State who beat Ole Miss. Poor Bowling Green, they knocked off undefeated NIU and lost to Mississippi State by 1 or they’d be in the equation.

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And a moment for brief comparison of conference strength:  Auburn beat Washington State 31-24. That same WSU Cougars team against the Pac 12? Lost 55-21 to ASU, 62-38 to Oregon, 52-24 to Oregon State, and 55-17 to Stanford. Just saying….

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The NFL has to be “thrilled” about their upcoming Super Bowl. 29 degree weather in New Jersey. On the other hand, the weather isn’t that much better today in say, Texas.

As someone who hates the SEC, I hate them even more that they made me root for Ohio State and Urban Meyer on principle.

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–Ah yes, football is different in the South. At a press conference a reporter asked the lawyer for the woman who accused FSU QB Jameis Winston of rape if her family was affiliated with the University of Alabama.

Bus to hell time:   Guess as an anti-SEC fan it would be tacky to post “Rah rah rapist.”

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Perfect fit?

December 7, 2013

Notre Dame, 8-4, has accepted an offer to play in the Pinstripe Bowl. So Yankee Stadium will end up hosting a big name, big money team with a national reputation that has underachieved this year. Local fans should feel right at home.

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Urban Meyer says he has decided not to start Marcus Hall after he was ejected from the Michigan game and flipped off the crowd. And the OSU coach said he was “very, very disappointed” in Hall’s actions. So over-under on how many plays the offensive lineman will miss?

 

 

Sorry Northern Illinois. But you really shouldn’t be in a BCS bowl when you lose big to a school whose initials aren’t even recognizable on the ESPN feed.   (BGSU  — Bowling Green State University.)

 

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In the midst of all of the doom and gloom stories on the news, finally some good news for millions of Americans: “Family Guy”s Brian the dog is reportedly coming back from the dead.

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The U.S got Ghana, Portugal and Germany in their World Cup group draw. Which means that Americans who only pay attention to soccer every few years will probably be able to get back to ignoring the sport sooner..

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Will any country who doesn’t think they are in a World Cup “Group of Death” please stand up.

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The Texas have fired coach Gary Kubiak after an 11-game losing streak. Well, based on Houston’s level of play in 2013 maybe Kubiak can get a short-term minor bowl gig with one of these college teams whose coaches have moved on?

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Michael Mina is going to open a bar-restaurant at the new SF 49ers stadium. Makes sense. Because when you’ve paid $1000 for a pair of tickets, that $30 glass of Cabernet is going to seem like a bargain.

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Journey’s Neal Schon will marry DC ‘Real Housewife’ and White House party-crasher Michaele Salahi Dec. 15 in San Francisco on Pay-Per-View. His fifth marriage, her second. Sounds perfect for all those who find “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” just a bit too intellectual.

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Robinson Cano to the Mariners $240 million. With the added bonus of no playoff pressure.

(My friend Marty Burtwell thinks he’ll be stranded on base so often he should change his name to Robinson Crusoe.)

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Apparently there were no fatalities but 15 people were injured when an elderly woman drove her car into a Long Island, NY Trader Joe’s this afternoon. Hoping everyone recovers quickly, and if she hit any wine that it was only “Two-Buck Chuck.”

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A friend wanted to know why I didn’t make any Carlos Beltran Yankees age jokes tonight. Simple. Compared to Derek Jeter Carlos is a mere child.

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Convicted wife-killer Martin MacNeill unsuccessfully tried to commit suicide in his Utah cell. It’s a real shame that some of these a**holes who are into murder-suicide don’t reverse the order of their attempts.

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Whatever you thought of “the Sound of Music Live”, got to give Carrie Underwood props for guts, and making more headlines than most entertainers make without getting arrested.

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Got a bit confused with the Sound of Music too. I don’t remember Captain von Trapp marrying Heidi.

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This is getting to be like a limbo dance – how low can they go? Rick Santorum: “Nelson Mandela stood up against a great injustice.” And then he compared Mandela’s struggle to the GOP fight against “great injustice going on right now in this country, with an ever-increasing size of government that is taking over and controlling people’s lives. And Obamacare is front and center in that.”

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End of an era.

December 5, 2013

Well played, Moonbeam. California Gov. Jerry Brown instructed the state Capitol’s flags be flown at half-staff today in honor of Nelson Mandela.

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Nelson Mandela has passed away. Sad as it’s the end of an era, but hope the poor man is finally at peace after what sounded like a nightmare year or so of medical intervention.–

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Seahawks DL Michael Bennett couldn’t get a reservation at a top Seattle restaurant, until he pretended to be Russell Wilson. Of course he’s not the first, Geno Smith has been impersonating an NFL QB for most of the season.

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ESPN cancelled a a scheduled appearance by Will Ferrell as Ron Burgundy to host “SportsCenter” tonight. Since they were worried about “potential implications of any news from the State Attorney’s press conference in Florida” regarding Jameis Winston. Shame. Might have been some really awesome ratings.
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Derrick Rose says he thinks he might be back for the playoffs. Is he planning on the Bulls trading him to another team first?

 

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So now the football field at Cal’s Memorial Stadium will be known as “Kabam Field” Kabam is a fantasy gaming company. Does this even need a punchline?
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Stanford fans thought a more appropriate choice might have been “Oscar Mayer Weenie Field” –

 

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A CNN.com article indicates that smoking pot may give men “man boobs.” Of course, it could be the amount of Doritos and doughnuts consumed after smoking pot that result in the man boobs.

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Color authority Pantone just announced its 2014 Color of the Year “Radiant Orchid – what they call a “captivating, magical, enigmatic purple.” The subgroup of Americans who care about that statement no doubt includes millions of women and about two straight men.

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Brian Wilson has apparently re-signed with Los Angeles. Of course, as Giants fans know, if the Dodgers really want to get their money’s worth out of Wilson, they’ll extend beer sales through the innings of his appearances.

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Speaker John Boehner says some male House members need to be “a little more sensitive” when they campaign against female candidates. I guess it never occurred to him that they need to make any changes in dealing with women who aren’t candidates?

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Now that Bashir is gone from MSNBC for being tasteless about Sarah Palin, can we get rid of the equally tasteless idiot who said this on air? “The pope is ripping America, the pope ripping capitalism, the pope ripping trickle-down economics. And Obama’s having an orgasm.”
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From Bill Littlejohn  “President Obama says he wants to host.”  ‘SportsCenter’ when he retires.This just in–the ESPN website just crashed”
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From T.C.  An Alabama woman shot and killed another fan after the team lost to archrival Auburn for “not being a big enough fan”. She should have shot at the guy that ran the missed field goal back for a TD on the final play of the game.

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The gangs that couldn’t shoot, period.

December 4, 2013

The San Antonio Spurs and Minnesota Timberwolves were to play a game in Mexico City Wednesday night,  but the arena was evacuated before tipoff because of smoke inside the arena. This would never happen if the Knicks and Nets were playing. Neither team is hot enough to generate smoke.

 

 

The Knicks and Nets are playing Thursday night. Do NBA rules require that someone really has to win?

 

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Carmelo Anthony says the NY Knicks are the “laughingstock of the league” right now. And the Milwaukee Bucks are thinking “Who are we, chopped liver?”

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The Raptors blew a 27 point third-quarter lead last night in losing to the Golden State Warriors. It was the most embarrassing thing to happen to Toronto recently not involving Rob Ford.

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Krispy Kreme shares fell 20% yesterday after disappointing earnings. Maybe analysts got a little too over-optimistic with those new marijuana legalization laws.

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Steelers coach Mike Tomlin has been fined $100,000 for his sideline interference with Jacoby Jones. Hmm, sounds like Tomlin could have saved $50,000 by just spilling a drink on him.

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Kim Kardashian and Kanye West may have their wedding at the Palace of Versailles.    Thinking of what happened to the couple who last used the place…   And just guessing the Kim and Kanye weren’t big history students?

(maybe they’ll be married in the Petit Trianon. With lots of cake?)

 

 

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Scientists are working on developing an artificial heart without a pulse. Big deal. Dick Cheney has lived 72 years having a pulse without a heart.

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Willie Meggs, the State Attorney handling the sexual assault investigation of Florida State QB Jameis Winston said he will announce the investigation results tomorrow at 2 pm. Meggs added that the investigation was “not based on a football schedule or anyone else’s calendar.” And he said it with a straight face.

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San Francisco area news stations are making much of the fact that the weather is expected to be near freezing tonight. And on the East Coast they are thinking “Just STFU.”

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From Alex Kaseberg:  “Dennis Rodman has launched his own line of vodka. Which is pretty much like a fire launching its own line of gasoline.”

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Economic Stimulus?

December 4, 2013

About $500 million spent on free agents this offseason in MLB and the Yankees have spent about half of it. 28 teams are aghast. And the Dodgers are thinking “We can top this.”

 

 

Cyber Monday, Giving Tuesday, What’s next “Back To Work Wednesday?”

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Two security guards at Houston’s Reliant Stadium were fired for having their pictures taken with Tom Brady. Maybe the team should have cut the guys a break, it’s not like any reasonable person would want a picture taken with one of this year’s Texans

 

The best news for t-shirt vendors near Fenway Park tonight. They can print over all the “Johnny Damon traitor/Judas” shirts and substitute “Jacoby Ellsbury.

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Jacoby Ellsbury has signed a 7 year, $153 million contract with the Yankees. This is apparently part of the new NY strategy – “Austerity as long as we are not competing with the Red Sox.”

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A new study shows U.S. students well below average compared to the rest of the world in math, particularly in their ability to apply mathematics to real world situations. No kidding. As at FedEx field Sunday where we saw issues with counting to 10 and even 4.

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Brett Favre is the offensive coordinator for Oak Grove High School in Hattiesburg, MS, and his team is playing in the state championship Friday. The real question, how does Favre make play-calling decisions in time to avoid delay of game penalties?

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Arizona coach Bruce Arians sent 15 plays to the NFL to highlighting “obvious” officiating errors during the Cardinals 24-21 loss to the Eagles. Wonder if the officials sent back a list of 15 or more “obvious” coaching errors.

 

 

The Washington, D.C. tree was formally lit Tuesday night. The way things are going in our nation’s capitol, wonder if President Obama had to threaten a nuclear option to prevent John Boehrner from subjecting the tree to a filibuster.

 

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While he declined to attend, Peyton Manning took the time to sign and return a wedding invitation sent to him by a “lifelong fan.” Nice to see an NFL player making news for signing something other than a citation or bail contract.

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The California GOP is taking some heat for a fake Obamacare website. (coveringhealthcareca.com as opposed to the real coveredca.com) Wonder how long it will take an confused out-of-state Republican to trash the site as not working correctly.

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Delta Airlines bumped 50 passengers at Gainesville Airport when they used their plane to accommodate the University of Florida men’s basketball team, whose charter had a mechanical problem. That’s the basketball team. Had it been the UF football team this year, Delta probably would have put them on a Greyhound bus.

 

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Paul Walker seemed like a really cool guy who did a lot of good with his stardom. And he died way too young. But as far as it being a tragedy? Mechanical or not, racing or not, that car was going really really fast. The real tragedy would have been if they spun out of control and hit another car or innocent bystanders crossing the street… IMHO

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Ka ching or not ka ching

December 2, 2013

Would everyone please finish their Cyber Monday shopping? I would like my computer to return to its normal non-glacial speed.

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Cyber Monday sales were up 17.5% from last year.  And no doubt office productivity was down at least the same amount.

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Carmelo Anthony says the NY Knicks are “playing to lose.” Uh, except that would assume the Knicks are capable of accomplishing one of their objectives.

Oxymoron headline of the day? “The highly anticipated Kardashian Christmas card is here.”

(Although as Gib Worley says “Remember the comedy writers!”)

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It is amazing, all these people screaming about NSA surveillance and U.S. drones, seem to have no problem with targeted online sales in their in-boxes based on things they wrote in emails. Or the thought of Amazon dropping their packages to them some day….

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Not the Onion: In Birmingham at a party for Alabama fans, one woman apparently shot and killed another for not being a “real fan” Because the dead woman wasn’t upset enough about Auburn’s last second win and was allegedly joking that it wasn’t as bad as if the NBA’s Miami Heat had lost a game. Your move, Florida.

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The Republican National Committee sent out a tweet yesterday. “Today we remember Rosa Parks’ bold stand and her role in ending racism.” Well, that ought to end any criticism of the GOP’s being out-of-touch with minorities. (And btw, she didn’t stand, she SAT.)

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Have all New York area television stations put out internal memos to be EXTREMELY careful before reading alleged names of the engineers of that doomed Metro North team on the air?

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The NFL admitted their officials made a mistake with the downs at the end of the 24-17 NY Washington game. Since the error probably only delayed the Redskins’ elimination by a week, maybe the league should really apologize to the gamblers who took Washington and 1.5 points.

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The Passenger Security Fee for airline tickets within the U.S. is currently capped at $5 roundtrip. But Congress is likely to raise it to a maximum of $5 each way. Which doubles the fee for anyone making a connection. An airline spokesman said it’s “not clear how much of the increase would be passed on to fliers.” Not “clear”? To quote “A Few Good Men” I would say it’s “crystal.”

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Stanford has to be happy to see that USC has hired Washington’s Steve Sarkisian as their coach. Cardinal fans weren’t too pleased with the Ed Orgeron era. (Seriously, good luck to now former interim coach Orgeron, who resigned today. Hope he kicks Trojan a** with his next team.)

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Maybe the New Orleans Saints are just trying to lull the Seattle Seahawks into a false sense of playoff security?

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Pittsburgh safety Ryan Clark said Mike Tomlin never intended to interfere with the Ravens’ Jacoby Jones. Surprised Clark didn’t add he accidentally pushed his coach into the lifeboat, oops, I mean over the sideline.

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From T.C.   “Alabama has a football player named Ha Ha Clinton Dix. Wonder if his mother is a friend of Hillary’s, or Monica’s?”

Alabama has a football player named Ha Ha Clinton Dix. Wonder if his mother is a friend of Hillary’s, or Monica’s?
– See more at: http://hqprincegeorge.com/home/hart_attack/news/v/Local/305028/Hartley-Miller-s-Hart-Attack-November-29-2013-Edition-447#sthash.dGlHRwBM.dpuf

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