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Oh baby, baby

June 25, 2015

Bristol Palin has just announced that she’s pregnant. Again. Did she sign up for a bulk rate on that “born-again-virginity” deal?

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Good news for ‪#‎BristolPalin‬, as an unemployed single-mom-of-two, she’ll still be able to get insurance with ‪#‎Obamacare‬.

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#‎BristolPalin‬, on 2nd out-of-wedlock pregnancy -“trying to keep [my] chin up on this one.” Uh, keeping her chin up is not the problem. More like legs crossed.

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So the Confederate flag is coming down across the country, and the Supreme Court upheld Obamacare. Is this all just a conspiracy to give Rush Limbaugh a coronary?

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Judge Roberts, in his majority opinion upholding Obamacare did nonetheless chide that ACA is “inartful” and “does not reflect the type of care and deliberation that one might expect of such significant legislation.  As my friend Sarah B. said, that’s a more elegant way of saying what he really meant  –  “PROOF READ YOUR SH*T BEFORE YOU SEND IT TO VOTE FOR HEAVENS SAKE!!!

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Senator Obama voted against the confirmation of Justice John Roberts. Just wondering, has the President issued a private apology?

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Chris Christie will announce Tuesday that he is running for President. How long until the Highway Patrol pulls the clown car off the road for being dangerously overweight?

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A Mountain View, California man who lives near Google has an Airbnb listing for a Coleman tent in his backyard. For $46 a night, or $899 a month.  And apparently he’s turning down business.  In related news, local R.E.I. stores are reporting a rush on tent sales.

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R.I.P. Patrick Macnee, 93. He will forever be known, as “”that guy who was on the Avengers with the fabulous Diana Rigg.”

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As if we needed more proof that Duke’ Coach K is one of the smartest college coaches ever. Krzyzewski told ESPN that he follows “a lot of people on Twitter. under an alias. I tell my guys, ‘I’m following you.’ Then if I see something, you text them, you gotta watch…”

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Down in Tallahassee, freshman QB De’Andre Johnson has been suspended indefinitely from the football team for allegedly punching a female FSU student at a bar Wed. night when she cut in front of him while ordering drinks. “Indefinitely” meaning Coach Fisher will wait to see how Johnson does in practice before deciding whether to give him another chance?

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San Antonio Spurs continue the tradition of picking players who most Americans have never heard of, with names they can’t spell, from places they can’t find on the a map. And he’ll probably be a star. ‪#‎NikolaMilutinov‬

(and follow the pick with a guy from Haiti.)

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From Bill Littlejohn  “Report—there are 40 quarterbacks in the NFL that will make more than Russell Wilson this year.Not only that, but 5 QB’s in the SEC, as well.”

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Going down

June 24, 2015

And so in Alabama, Gov. Robert Bentley just simply ordered the Confederate flag taken down from the Capitol. The most stunning thing about this, no fuss, no muss, no drama – he just had it taken down. What a concept! .

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Who says there’s no hope for our country? The Confederate flag is coming down everywhere, and FOX News has declined to renew Sarah Palin’s $1 million-a-year contract as a contributor.

Just in case anyone thought we were having too much of a epidemic of sanity on the Confederate flag issue, I give you Ann Coulter, who is upset with Nikki Haley: “I’m appalled…though on the other hand, she is an immigrant and does not understand America’s history.” (Haley was born in Bamberg, South Carolina.)

Although suppose Coulter might be tangentially onto something. As an alien Ann herself doesn’t really understand humans.

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Apparently since no other candidate has broken out of the pack, Bobby Jindal thinks he has a chance and is going to join the 2016 Presidential race. You know, I can watch a tight cluster of people atop say, the U.S. Open leaderboard, without suddenly thinking I could win at golf.

Regarding that Whole Foods overcharging story, where NYC inspectors found EVERY label was inaccurate as to weight. So the store couldn’t have just raised prices a dollar or so a pound? Seems like their basic pricing policy already was ‪#‎ifyouhavetoaskyoucantaffordit‬

Before tonight, the SF Giants are averaging 2.91 runs a game at AT&T Park and over 5 runs a game during away games. This is as skewed a road to home scoring ratio as we have seen since Bill Clinton first hit the campaign trail.

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So since the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ don’t seem to be able to hit at home these days, maybe they should get a certain former left fielder in for a little batting practice coaching. #25 always seemed to manage it pretty well.

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Though to be fair, the Giants now haves Nori Aoki on the DL due to a fractured fibula after being hit by a pitch, joining Hunter Pence who is on the DL due to a wrist injury resulting from HIS forearm being broken by a pitch in spring training. So is this the league’s plan to dethrone the World Champions,, take them out one player at a time?

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Amtrak apparently stranded passengers on a New York City bound train Tuesday for about five hours without food, air conditioning or working bathrooms. Are they really trying to compete with the airlines?”

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Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler’s wife, Kristin Cavallari, apparently told ELLE Magazine earlier that the family wants to leave Chicago and move to Nashville once her husband retires. And many Bears fans are thinking, “Could this be arranged by Christmas?”

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In a Fox News poll, 18% of respondents said Donald Trump is a serious candidate; 77% said he is “a side show.” Presumably the other 5% were laughing so hard they couldn’t speak.

This ought to be entertaining. The Grateful Dead concerts this weekend at Levi’s Stadium follow NFL rules. Meaning you can bring a small clutch or wallet, but the ONLY bags you can bring in are limited-size clear plastic bags, period. Well, at least most Deadheads have years of experience going to concerts with small plastic bags.

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Blowing in the wind.

June 23, 2015

Now Rand Paul and Donald Trump have joined the call to take Confederate flags down and put them “in a museum” Guess it’s hard to ignore the way the wind’s blowing when it becomes a full-fledged hurricane.

 

 

Gamecocks coach Steve Spurrier, who has indicated his distaste for that “damn Confederate flag” before, today tweeted “The South Carolina football team, players and coaches strongly support Governor Haley’s decision to remove the flag from the capitol.”

Well, so now we’ve finally got a statement from one of the REALLY powerful men in the state.

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Regarding Trump’s decision to speak up against the Confederate flag, did that furry thing that lives on his head whisper in his ear? ‪#‎combingaround‬?

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Virginia Governor Terry McAuliffe says he is also immediately taking steps tio remove the Confederate flag from state specialty license plates. Don’t get me wrong, I think all this getting rid of the flags is a good idea. But it is also all a lot easier than dealing with the gun problem.

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Rush Limbaugh is now proclaiming that removing the Confederate flag is about “destroying the south” Actually Limbaugh should be sending flowers to the politicians in South Carolina as no doubt their actions will increase the number of angry white men who listen to him.

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Rapper Diddy (Sean Combs), whose son plays football at UCLA, was arrested for attacking a coach with a kettlebell weight. Talk about helicopter parents, this guy was trying to be more of a bomber plane parent.

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Gmail has a new feature, “undo send,” which allows users to delay emails 5-30 seconds so they can be canceled and retrieved, Of course, if you’re mad (or drunk) enough to send an email you’ll later regret, hard to imagine calming down (or sobering up) enough in 30 seconds to change your mind.

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Okay, clearly there are more important issues in the world. But regarding these pleas from teams to vote for their potential All-Star players “Vote 35 times right now.”

So how in the world did they come up with 35 as the magic number. Even in Chicago folks are thinking that’s excessive.

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The Minnesota State Fair has released its list of new foods for 2015. Including caramel chocolate-dipped bacon ice cream bars, mac and cheese cupcakes, and a burger dog with hot dogs, hamburger meat, bacon, cheese and peppers on a bun. And no doubt ticket stubs from the fair will be good for a discount at your friendly cardiologist.

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Iowa is granting  permits to acquire or carry guns in public to people who are legally or completely blind. Texas and Florida are thinking “Why didn’t we think of that?”

 

 

New York City is apparently probing Whole Foods Markets over allegedly overcharging customers for the last five years. Uh, isn’t overcharging customers part of Whole Foods’ mission statement?

 

 

Oops, Russell Athletic apparently accidentally produced some maroon and white jerseys with both Mississippi State and Texas A&M logos on them. Were they counting on fans at each school not being able to read?

 

 

 

 

This bus-to-hell moment brought to you by Marc Ragovin: “Dick Van Patten (1928-2015) has passed away. I guess 86 was enough. “

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Missing you.

June 22, 2015

darryl

Former player,  current MLB analyst and all around nice guy Darryl Hamilton is dead, apparently by the hand of his soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend in a murder suicide..  There are no printable words.

 

 

After Charleston, this seemed like it might be the week to move on from gun violence issues to regular snark. And all I can think of now is the online discussions, over the years and after the church shooting, with Darryl Hamilton. One of the best people I’ve been privileged to meet on Facebook . I’d wish as a SF Giants fan for the Dodgers to win the World Series in a minute if it would bring him back. No joke.

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Darryl Hamilton would at least have liked, and been amused to see this,  Lindsey Graham on Monday today  rethought his positions and called for the Confederate flag’s removal from the South Carolina Capitol grounds.  #thetimestheyareeversoslowlychanging

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Mark Sanford, on the Confederate Flag controversy – “That’s opening up Pandora’s box.” Surprised Sanford didn’t have a staffer say the S.C. Rep was unavailable for comment because he was hiking the Appalachian Trail.

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Maybe she wanted to think about it, maybe she wanted to see which way the wind was blowing. But kudos to S.C. Gov Nikki Haley for coming to the right decision.

“It’s time to move the flag from the Capitol grounds. On matters of race, South Carolina has a tough history. We don’t need reminders.”

She added that if the legislature didn’t debate removing the flag this summer, she would call them back for a special session.

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Regarding Pete Rose, the OTL timing is odd, just before the All-Star game in Cincinnati. But for all those who say, it didn’t matter if he only bet on his team to win. So imagine you’re a bookie, and Pete bets on the Reds for Friday, and Sunday, but doesn’t bet on Saturday… He doesn’t have to give a reason..

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#‎Followthemoney‬ Walmart announced Monday that it will remove all Confederate flag merchandise from its stores. One of those few moments I am glad the Charleston terrorist is still alive to see what he has accomplished.

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So baseball/softball are on the short list for being added to the 2020 Olympics in Tokyo. Other sports on the list include karate, squash, roller sports, wushu (martial art), sport climbing, surfing and bowling. No this list was not compiled by the Onion.

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It’s about time?

June 21, 2015

Goldman Sachs has announced that they will tell banking interns to leave the office by midnight and not return before 7 a.m., and to take Saturdays off.  By high-tech startup standards that’s practically turning them into slackers.

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Dr. John Hagee, a San Antonio pastor, said there ‘there is no greater sin in terms of wrongly using God’s name than women who use it during sex. .That is one of the filthiest, most derogatory and sinful uses of the Lord’s name I can think of. If it were up to me, I would put every single woman or girl who does that in jail,’ Leaving aside the fact that he didn’t mention men, just guessing Hagee has no personal experience of a woman crying out anything while having sex with him.

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Finally, a weekend without professional basketball. Makes sense though, the NBA had to finish before Father’s Day. ‪#‎somanychildrensolittletime‬

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Greg Oden is attempting another NBA comeback.  Might be worth the risk for more than a few teams.   And, hey, his health insurance will be covered by Medicare.

 

Have to think that non-golf fans who turned into the ‪#‎USOpen2015‬ & heard comments about “greens” were thinking  “what exactly was “green” about them?”

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Is there any stupider thing in sports for spectators to yell than “Get in the hole?” ‪#‎USOpen2015‬

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Hard to believe, but Jordan Spieth is young enough that actually he could be Tiger Woods’ son.  (He’s 21 to Tiger’s 39.) #theygrowupsofast

 

From T.C.  “Somebody hired a plane that sported a banner “CHEATER” to follow Tiger’s group at the US Open. A fan thought he saw two blond women flying the aircraft. ”

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Judy Shalom Nir-Mozas, the of Israel’s Interior Minister tweeted an “inappropriate joke” Sunday about Barack Obama, then deleted it and apologized. One thing about social media, if you’re an idiot, instead of that knowledge being confined to your family and friends, you can tell the whole world in a matter of minutes.

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Just making it clear. I have and will continue to make posts referring to the “Charleston terrorist.” I am not going to give the SOB any more of the notoriety he clearly sought by using his given name. If we’re going to use names at all it should be the names of the victims.

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Lastly, Happy Father’s Day to my dad, Jerry Hough. He once gave me a lecture because my 2nd grade teacher said I was too quiet and never spoke up in class. Who said kids never learn from their parents?

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Video evidence

June 20, 2015

A video is going viral of a squirrel running around Citizens Bank Park and entering the Phillies dugout, causing  players to scramble.  Well, makes sense.  The squirrel was more frightening than anyone in the Philadelphia lineup.

http://atmlb.com/1K2KtZe

 

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A German man has posted a video after a breakup showing him sawing all their communal property in half with a power saw, including a teddy bear and a pickup truck. Wonder how many calls he’s gotten to option his story for a country song?

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It may be the only time I ever say this.   But, well played, Mitt.

Mitt Romney on Twitter
“Take down the #ConfederateFlag at the SC Capitol. To many, it is a symbol of racial hatred. Remove it now to honor #Charleston victims.”
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The bride whose Waldorf Astoria wedding reception was cancelled after one of her guests accidentally shot off his gun, injuring four people, is now suing the hotel “for millions.” Her attorney told the New York Post: ‘We are planning to sue the Waldorf for the costs of the wedding and the emotional harm suffered by the bride and groom, whose dream wedding was destroyed for no reason whatsoever by Waldorf personnel.”

And some wonder why Shakespeare wrote “The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.”

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And then in contrast to Mitt Romney on the Confederate flag issue, Texas Sen. Ted Cruz said the last thing the people of South Carolina need is “people from outside of the state coming in and dictating how they should resolve it.” Right, but Cruz has no problem telling other states what to do about gay marriage….

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Apparently hundreds of NPR listeners were outraged and threatened to stop donating when the network had Kim Kardashian on the quiz show “Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me..” Amazing. That so many NPR listeners would admit to knowing who Kim Kardashian is.

 

Max Scherzer throws a no-hitter and misses a perfect game with 2 outs in the bottom of the ninth because Jose Tabata leaned into a pitch. Maybe the Nationals need to sign Bob Gibson or Pedro Martinez to a one-game contract tomorrow to give Tabata a little baseball education.

 

Justin Maxwell was only in the ‪#‎Giants‬ ‪#‎Dodgers‬ game because ‪#‎Aoki‬ left after being hit by a pitch in 1st.  And he hit a 2 run home run.  Karma is now wearing a particularly bitchy grin.

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In Texas, a volunteer firefighter was fired after apparently posting on Facebook that the Charleston terrorist “needs to be praised for the good deed he has done” Leaving aside the awfulness of the comment, just how stupid do you have to be to be that racist right now in public?

 

Paul Pierce, 37, apparently is going to play again in the NBA, either returning to the Wizards or signing with the Clippers. Does Pierce think he’s too young to play for the Spurs?

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The Orlando Sentinel is reporting that a local man is recovering from “non-life threatening” injuries after accidentally shooting himself…..during a gun safety class. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

 

 

 

Jason Day, who has been suffering from vertigo, and who collapsed at the end of Friday’s round, shot a 68 Saturday and is in a four-way tie for the lead after the third round of the U.S. Open. Right about now Tiger Woods is thinking, how do you catch vertigo?

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All about me

June 20, 2015

Brian Williams apologized and blamed his ego for his exaggeration of the truth. And then Williams added that Sigmund Freud had told him that he had one of the biggest egos the psychiatrist had ever seen.

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Reports are that  A&P , once the U.S. leading grocery chain, is considering filing for bankruptcy. Said everyone under 40, “What’s A&P?”

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First year Warriors coach Steve Kerr received a text from former teammate Tim Duncan “It’s that easy, huh?” Hmm, maybe we have a new candidate to take over some day from Gregg Popovich?

 

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Skip Bayless on Friday called Tiger Woods a “disgrace” and a “train wreck.” Well, if anyone knows about being a disgrace and a train wreck.

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Orlando’s “Wet and Wild,” one of America’s first water park opened in 1977, will close at the end of 2016. Apparently it’s not cool enough for today’s kids. And besides, it’s hard to go down the slides with smart phones.

 

Well, at least he’s got things in perspective. Steph Curry at today’s Warriors’ celebration after their parade. “6 years ago I could walk around & not be recognized, now we’re world champs & I’m known as Riley’s dad.”

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Just saw a list of Major League Baseball top prospects. Curiously enough I looked up the March 2014 “top prospects by team.” Found a list that for the SF Giants, listed Joe Panik as their 15th best prospect. Matt Duffy was 30th. ‪#‎whatdotheyknow‬?

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From T.C.  “St. Louis Cardinals say they have stopped hacking into the Houston Astros computers as they have found way more interesting stuff snooping into Pablo Sandoval’s phone. ”

(And Panda was benched for a day for being on Instagram during a game.  So does that mean he got to spend the evening in the clubhouse with his phone?)

 

Okay, who says I never say anything nice about Republicans?

“Regardless of our views about the symbolism of the … flags — and people of goodwill can disagree on the subject — the governor believes that most (residents of the state) would agree that the symbols of (the) past should not be displayed in a manner that may divide (us) today,” Governor Jeb Bush of Florida in 2001, ordering the Confederate flag taken down at the capitol.

Your move, South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley.

 

 

 

Don’t need three reasons why Texas Gov. Rick Perry is unfit to be President. This one will do. From an interview today, about South Carolina. (capital letters are mine ) – “Any time there is an ACCIDENT like this, the president is clear. He doesn’t like for Americans to have guns and so he uses every opportunity, this being another one, to basically go parrot that message.”

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Love a parade.

June 18, 2015

Warriors coach Steve Kerr says after the Warriors victory parade Friday, “I just want to sit on my couch and watch the U.S. Open and drink beer.” Well, for the last two rounds maybe Kerr can invite Tiger Woods to join him,

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Apparently in the 24 hours after the Golden State Warriors won the NBA championship, a record amount of gear was sold. Wonder if for an extra charge manufacturers could make the shirts etc look like fans had been wearing them for a while.

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Donald Trump apparently offered actors $50 each to show up and cheer for him as he announced his run for the Presidency.. Aha, NOW I see the Donald’s jobs plan… imagine how many people he will have to hire to show up at his various campaign events.

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For the first time since 1970, McDonald’s is closing more restaurants than they are opening in the U.S. Because in an era of pizza with hot dogs and XXL grilled stuffed burritos, their offerings aren’t fattening enough for Americans anymore?

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An American tourist, 27, is in stable condition with bite wounds at a Cancun hospital. This after the man, while allegedly drunk, ignored England and Spanish warning signs and climbed the barbed-wire fence of a crocodile enclosure at the Iberostar resort…. And once again, Darwin is thinking “missed it by THAT much.” #cantfixstupid

 

Maybe SF Giants fans should be happy at least Sandoval left before we got these “Panda being Panda” stories. He was benched for tonight’s game after “liking” a young woman’s pictures on Instagram last night during the game. Said he was in the bathroom at the time…..

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A little inside baseball for SF Giants fans.

#‎Panda‬ who? ‪#‎McGehee‬ who? ‪#‎Duffy‬ does it again. ‪#‎SFGiants‬

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Astros’ GM Luhnow is denying reports that alleged Cardinals’ hackers got into the Astros database because he hadn’t changed his password(s). But have to wonder how many other people in baseball who have changed teams in the past just changed their passwords.

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And now back to the serious stuff.  Don’t worry.  I’m not going to stay with this much serious stuff  for long. Though it would be nice to dream that maybe THIS time some things might actually change…. No joke.

 

The NY Times is reporting that the alleged Charleston terrorist was arrested and banned from a local mall in Feb. 2015 after he alarmed security guards by asking questions at stores about employees and when they left the mall. Then he was arrested again two months later at the mall, and jailed for 12 days. Clearly a troubled young man. And his dad decided that a good birthday present for him was a gun?!!!

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Well, that didn’t take long. FoxNews.com already has an editorial saying that if churches weren’t gun-free zones, last night’s ” horrible tragedy…probably could have been avoided.”

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And now it also  comes out that last week the alleged Charleston terrorist told friends and neighbors at the park that “he was looking to kill a bunch of people on Wednesday.” And his roommate said the guy has been talking about “something like that for six months.”“He was big into segregation and other stuff.. He said he wanted to start a civil war. He said he was going to do something like that and then kill himself.”

But they  thought he was joking. We’ve been taught to take suicide threats seriously, seems like it’s time to do the same with comments about killing. Even TSA, as much as we joke about them, would have stopped him for those words.

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Tear down that flag

June 17, 2015

Covering something serious first this time.  Was just in Memphis at the Lorraine Motel Civil Rights  Museum, where one of their  exhibition on the 1963 Birmingham Church bombing.  A horrible moment in U.S. history, and one you’d LIKE to think we’d moved beyond.   But apparently not.

 

Tomorrow morning in South Carolina the flags will be at half-staff. At the State House, that means the U.S. flag AND the Confederate flag. Too much to hope I suppose that they never raise that Confederate one again….

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Apparently Charleston police briefly handcuffed a young white man who fit the description of the shooter, but quickly released him, unharmed, when they realized he was not the right person. Wonder what would have happened if a young black man had been suspected of shooting nine white people?

 

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But since if we don’t laugh the terrorists win, including the domestic terrorists.    So, though my heart goes out to the friends and families of the victims,  below are jokes written earlier in the evening.

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The University of Texas has just approved the sale of beer to the general public at Darrell K Royal – Texas Memorial Stadium, capacity over 100,000 for the 2015 football season, And the state has just legalized firearms on college campuses. ‪#‎WhatcouldPOSSIBLYgowrong‬?

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It pains me to say anything nice about a Dodger. But I do love this tweet from Brandon McCarthy. “in keeping with baseball tradition, a Houston exec should walk into the STL offices and hit their best front office guy with a fastball.” ‪#‎hackgate‬

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The FCC is going to fine AT&T $100 million for “severely” slowing down data speeds for customers who bought so-called “unlimited” mobile data plans. $100 million?!! So assume AT&T will raise rates to a total tune about $150 million to cover their costs.

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Lebron James after the Finals – “We ran out of talent.” And current Lakers fans are going “what is talent?”

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As great a run as San Francisco Bay area teams have had, neither the SF Giants nor the Warriors have clinched a championship in front of a home crowd. And now with the 2016 Super Bowl at Levi’s Stadium, pretty sure that tradition will continue.

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Johnny Manziel said hs trademark money sign “will not be back. I will not be making it out there.” Which we can all hope is a sign of maturity. Or a realization he won’t be having much on the field to celebrate.

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Jim Harbaugh has decided to hold 11 satellite football camps in 7 different states for high school players. which he says is about “sharing a love for football.” Adding, “in my America you’re allowed to cross borders.” Some other coaches, especially in the ACC and SEC, say it’s recruiting and are are apoplectic – Nick Saban says it’s a “competitive disadvantage.”

Not sure about that, but any coach who can upset Nick Saban and the SEC is likely to pick up a lot of fans all across the USA.

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Really, KNBR, Really?! The SF Giants’ and GS Warriors’ flagship radio station is running a Father’s Day contest for listeners to share their favorite sports memories with dad. That’s cool.  But what about a Mother’s Day contest for sharing your favorite sports memory with MOM!?

 

So with ‪#‎SFGiants‬ in Seattle they need a ‪#‎DH‬. Can’t ‪#‎Madbum‬ hit and let ‪#‎McGehee‬ be the DH? ‪

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Apparently Rep. Darrell Issa was kicked out of a closed hearing on Benghazi that he hadn’t been invited to in Washington, D.C. What’s most surprising? The chairman who escorted him out was a fellow Republican. ‪#‎toocrazyevenforawitchhunt‬?

 

My friend Tom forwards this “wish I’d thought of that”  line from his friend Cliff Miller.  “Suggested Trump campaign slogan: We shall overcomb!”

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Oh brother.

June 16, 2015

Jeb Bush is trying to distance himself from those who worry he will simply repeat his brother’s presidency. And somewhere Dick Cheney is cackling “People actually BELIEVE W. was President….”

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Bob Uecker, 81, was hit by a ball during pregame batting practice and suffered a mild concussion. Maybe he should have been standing more than “just a bit outside” of the batting cage.

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Guessing a few people will be fired in St. Louis over their hacking of the Astros. But as to punishment for the Cardinals? Rob Manfred may call Selig for advice on setting up one of those “Blue Ribbon Committees.” (The one on the A’s potentially moving is only into its sixth year.)

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Really bad timing for the St. Louis Cardinals to get caught.. This year investigators will believe the Astros actually had information worth stealing.

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As of today, eight Kansas City Royals are in to start this year’s All-Star game. Along with former Royal Nori Aoki. New commissioner Rob Manfred wants to wait until voting is over, but said MLB is “responsive and open to change if in fact it appears we get a result that is not consistent with the goals of the system that is currently in place.”

All-Star voting might be flawed? I’m shocked, shocked….

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Donald Trump has officially entered the 2016 Presidential race. And Jon Stewart is thinking about calling Brett Favre – “How do you do that ‘un-retiring’ thing?”

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Donald Trump’s Presidential campaign has just begun, but how long until someone demands a birth certificate for that furry thing that lives on his head. Pretty sure it wasn’t born in the U.S.

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United Airlines says they are moving their “P.S’ – Premium Service – hub from JFK to Newark for transcontinental flights. So for all those frequent fliers who have been complaining about delays and traffic to-from JFK and wondering if it could be any worse? The answer is yes.

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In California, Scott Wilk, a Republican assemblyman who was opposing the state budget on Facebook accidentally voted FOR it, and then posted on Twitter. “My wife is right — I can’t multitask!” Kind of makes you feel real warm and fuzzy about the rest of Wilk’s legislative actions. Not to mention his driving.

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A man from Mims, a small town about an hour from Orlando, was drinking at a BBQ with friends when he decided to check if there was still a round in the chamber of his gun – by putting the weapon to his head and pulling the trigger. There was.

Services are pending. Back on your game, Florida,

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2-out 2-run double today for Casey McGehee. Maybe that’s ‪#‎SFGiants‬‘ solution, only let ‪#‎McGehee‬ bat when there’s no chance for a double play.

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GOP House members are trying to zero out federal funding for the Title X family planning program, which provides birth control and other reproductive health services to individuals, mostly young women, earning less than $25,000 a year. Right. Because if we all agree one goal is to reduce unwanted pregnancies and thus potential abortions, no doubt denying poor women birth control will stop them having sex….. ‪#‎facepalm‬

 

So Neil Young told Donald Trump to stop using his song “Rocking in the Free World” as a campaign theme. Maybe Young should offer to rewrite another song in a way that would be perfect for the Donald: How about “Ego and the Damage Done?”

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A former Baltimore Ravens cheerleader today pleaded guilty to having sex with a 15-year-old boy. The boy’s name has been not been released because he was a minor, protecting his privacy but no doubt also denying him bragging rights with his friends.

 

Congrats to the ‪#‎GoldenStateWarriors‬ Now, will they vote the ‪#‎Clippers‬, who knocked off the ‪#‎Spurs‬, a playoff share? ‪#‎NBAFinals‬

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Got to give ‪#‎LebronJames‬ for playing with basically a six man bench. Even Snow White had seven dwarves. ‪#‎NBAFinals‬

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Hawk-ey nigt.

June 15, 2015

The Stanley Cup was late in arriving after the Blackhawks win tonight due to “weather issues.”. Rather appropriate for a team that plays in Chicago’s United Center.

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But yeah, nothing says it’s time for the NHL’s Stanley Cup Final like summer thunderstorms.

 

 

You know you’re in San Francisco when…the best part of a really bad ‪#‎SFGiants‬ game is the gay marriage proposal. ‪#‎hesaidyes‬

 

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As the last sections of ‪#Candlestickpark‬ come down, the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ are in the midst of one of their worst home losing streaks. Coincidence?

 

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One of Aaron Hernandez’s lawyers says he has evidence that one of the jurors was “untruthful” during jury selection. Translation, Hernandez isn’t out of money yet.

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It’s June 15. And if it seems like you can’t remember the NBA regular season…..well, that might be because it ended TWO MONTHS AGO today. ‪#‎stillnosignoflandhowlongisit‬

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Considering how competitive Lebron James is making the NBA finals almost all by himself, it does make the Spurs’ 2014 performance all the more amazing since they beat James when he actually had a team, and two other stars, playing with him.

 

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Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled not to see an AL All-Star team full of Yankees and Red Sox Players. But seven Royals starting? And fans can vote a maximum of 35 times per email address. Great to have World Series home advantage decided in part by a process with all the integrity of American Idol.

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Pope Francis apparently will be issuing an encyclical on the environment saying that climate change is the Earth’s way of protesting “irresponsible use and abuse of the goods that God placed in her.” Waiting for some religious conservatives to respond “Yeah, well what does HE know?”

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Jeb Bush’s campaign logo is going to read simply “Jeb!” Amazing, politicians come to power mostly because of their last names, and then do everything they can to hope we forget it.

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So how long until Jeb Bush starts campaigning on avoiding a return to what he says are the failed policies of the Clinton era?

 

So regarding that Waldorf-Astoria wedding, apparently after the shooting hotel security cancelled the “million dollar” reception because the gun had not been found, and because two of their employees had been injured. And the bride was livid. Okay, so maybe the NYPD can save money by not charging this idiot with a crime: Just put him -unarmed – and the bride in a locked room for about an hour.

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San Diego has fired manager Bud Black. Maybe a new manager will make a difference. Or maybe the Padres are just a newer Southern California version of the Cubs.

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Gap is going to close 25% of their stores, 175 in total, which will leave the company with operate about 500 specialty locations and 300 outlet stores. Uh, not that I really know retail, but maybe if you have 60% as many “outlets” as you have regular retail, you just MIGHT be diluting and damaging your brand

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The pain, the pain.

June 15, 2015

Chris Christie called Hillary Clinton out of touch , asking “How would she know what real Americans are really concerned about? I don’t know. Is it … when she’s out giving paid speeches?” Exactly. Real Americans like Christie know what it is to struggle to stay within a $95,000 a year allowance for food and drink on top of their salaries.

 

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Okay, without any spoilers in this post, isn’t “Shocking ‪#‎GameofThronesFinale‬” redundant?

 

 

Yesterday was the 12th annual “World Naked Bike Ride” in San Francisco. No doubt followed today by the 12th annual “Wash all rental bikes” day in San Francisco.

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Hillary Clnton said that the 2008 presidential campaign showed a woman can be president. Is that the right reminder for her to be using? Because the 2008 campaign also showed that picking someone for the ticket just because she was a woman can help the other side win an election.

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Beginning to think this man does not want to leave New Jersey. Chris Christie today, when asked about Iraq, “we’ve got to put together a ‘coalition of the willing’, which has been used before … ” Yes, and that worked out so well. ‪#‎GeorgeWBush‬ ‪#‎DontforgetPoland‬

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Boston Red Sox manager John Farrell to fans. “I wouldn’t write this team off.”. So is Farrell telling us he can’t write?

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Four people are recovering after a man accidentally fired a gun during a wedding celebration at the Waldorf Astoria in New York City. The bullet grazed a woman’s head and injured 3 others with debris. Your move, Florida

 

The NY D.A. says the case against the man whose gun went off at a Waldorf Astoria wedding has been deferred, while they decide whether or not to charge him. His lawyer says “There was no recklessness in this case.” Because, hey, doesn’t everyone need to be armed at weddings in five-star hotels?

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Maybe the guy just had a think for “Red Wedding?”

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The joys of outsourcing. United Airlines uses low-paid contract workers instead of employees  in many airports.  One flight delay from one of those airports, Louisville, leads to several incompetent steps. End result, not getting on two wide-open alternative flights home, in part because “checked bags must travel with passengers.” And then arriving at 200a to find that the person, probably making about $12 an hour,  who insisted on keeping us with luggage did the new tags WRONG, so bags went on THREE different flights without us and arrived 18 hours later….

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Some may have been surprised that the big Walmart fight that went viral was between two women. Well, it WAS in the shampoo aisle. A place most men do not venture.

(and some men are asking “there’s a shampoo aisle?”)

 

 

From T.C.  “MMA, UFC & WWE are all currently bidding for rights to use Walmart shampoo aisles as future venues for Pay for View events.”

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Dino-soaring.

June 13, 2015

” Jurassic World’ apparently had the third-largest movie opening day of all time. When movie-goers were asked afterwards what they thought of the plot, almost all of them responded – “Plot?”

 

 

 

The College World Series started today. What a shame that the Philadelphia Phillies just missed qualifying.

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Bristol Palin has posted a harsh criticism of Miley Cyrus’s post about intolerance. Thereby assuring that millions of people might actually READ Cyrus’s post about intolerance.

(my friend Alex wonders who read the post to Bristol.)

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Country singer Randy Howard, 65, was killed this weekend in a gunfight with bounty hunter. What a shame, had Howard lived the incident would have been great material for a country song.

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At Boise Airport, passengers on an Allegiant Air flight smelled fuel and saw vapor that they thought was smoke so they popped the emergency doors and evacuated. (It was a small fuel leak and the plane was in no danger.) But doesn’t it make you feel all warm and fuzzy that passengers have the ability to open emergency doors?

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Bachelorette Kaitlyn Bristowe “may” have “accidentally” posted a Snapchat of herself and a man in bed, therefore revealing the winner of the show about six weeks ahead of schedule. Give the woman credit, with her name, talent for publicity and headlines, Kaitlyn could be an honorary Kardashian.

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Pablo Sandoval left today’s Red Sox loss to the Blue Jays with tightness in his quad. His status is listed as “day-to-day-and-keep-that-man-out-of-the-North-End.”

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Still seems a bit odd when you hear about ‪#‎NBA‬ team going to a small lineup and they’re still all over about 6’6″. ‪#‎NBAFinals‬ ‪#‎Warriors‬ ‪#‎Cavs‬

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In Texas, some residents are upset because a History network series “Texas Rising” isn’t completely historically accurate. Wonder how many of these people also want schools to teach creationism.

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The U.S. Justice Department is investigating possible bribes and corruption in Nike’s 1996 deal to sponsor soccer in Brazil. Right. Not like Nike would ever dare do anything wrong at home in the good old U S of A.

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Monica Lewis, the voice of Chiquita Banana, has died at 93. And if you don’t have that stupid jingle running through your head now you’re not a baby boomer….

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Taco Bell will be opening a new location in SF that will serve beer and wine. Makes some sense, enough beer and/or wine, and customers won’t notice the food.

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From Bill Littlejohn, after a skunk’s nest being found in the Cardinals dugout at Dodger Stadium: “Did St. Louis manager Mike Matheny say he needed a spray hitter?”

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How sweet it is?

June 12, 2015

 

A new “soda” law in San Francisco will require this warning label “WARNING: Drinking beverages with added sugar(s) contributes to obesity. diabetes and tooth decay.” And apparently Starbucks’ Frappucino’s are sugary enough for the label. So what’s next? Requiring the warnings on the sugar packets you put into your coffee?

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In Texas, the two little girls whose lemonade stand was shut down for not having a permit are reopening after discovering a loophole: They can give the lemonade away free and just ask for donations. I think we may have found two future leaders of the state.

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Actual sign out front of an Arkansas liquor store. “School’s out. Welcome parents!”

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University of Missouri fraternities are planning to ban hard liquor starting in the fall. So is this policy change sponsored by Anheuser Busch?

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Apparently ABC cameras caught LeBron James accidentally exposing himself while he adjusted his shorts just before Game 4 of the NBA Finals. Hmm, so it’s not enough to be a basketball star, James is angling to be part of a future Super Bowl halftime show?

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96 years ago on Friday Congress passed the 19th amendment giving women the right to vote. Wonder given some of the rhetoric from conservative men in the U.S. If you could get that amendment ratified today?

 

The Indianapolis Colts have been taking some heat for the new “2014 AFC Finalist” banner they just hung at Lucas Oil Stadium. Even though the team lost 45-7 to the Patriots. Waiting for someone from the Colts to respond “Our pride is undeflated.”

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An Ohio man is planning to challenge the St. Louis Zoo’s no weapons policy by carrying a gun into the zoo Saturday. Can someone please hide a few of those “trespassers will be eaten” signs?

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The President of an NAACP chapter in Spokane has been outed by her parents as Caucasian. So will this start a debate about people’s right to be “trans-race?”

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I wish this were the Onion. It’s now come out that Marco Rubio was one of five current members of Congress who voted for a 2001 Florida bill, signed by Jeb Bush, that required any single mother trying to put their babies up for adoption to post details about their recent sex partners. (The idea being to support the rights of potential biological fathers.) ‪#‎Prolifemyass‬

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D’oh

June 10, 2015

Rumor has it that Homer and Marge Simpson will “legally separate” in this season’s premier of the long running cartoon show. Wow. The damage that legalizing gay marriage does to traditional marriage knows no bounds.

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The South’s Royal palace. Home of “the King.”. (No, it’s not Lebron.)

 

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graceland

 

Elvis Presley was 25 when he met and started hanging out with his future wife. She was 14. ‪#‎differenttimes‬

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So the way the Cleveland Cavaliers are dropping like flies how long until Lebron James puts an ad on Craigslist for potential game 6 or 7 teammates?

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Elon Musk says that Tesla will have self-driving cars within 3 years. Wonder if the more you pay for the model the more the car will act like it’s being driven by an a**hole?

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Torii Hunter, who was thrown out of the Twins-Royals game for arguing a called third, apparently threw his batting gloves, elbow pad, shin guard AND jersey on the field after his ejection.   And here some tantrum fans worried instant replay would do away with such exhibitions.

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R.I.P Vincent Musetto, 74.   Who?   Musetto was a retired NY Post editor. Who might have written  the best headline of all time – “Headless body in topless bar.”

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Four tourists, including a brother and sister from Canada, have been arrested for stripping naked on a Malaysian mountain. Locals they say they angered the tribal spirits and caused a recent deadly earthquake, Wow. How often do you hear “Ah those ugly Canadians!”?”

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Pat Robertson, when asked why God would allow a baby to die in the hospital responded. “As far as God’s concerned, he knows the answer from the beginning. And he sees the little baby, and that little baby could grow up to be Adolf Hitler… . He could grow up to be some serial killer. Or he could grow up to die of a hideous disease. God sees all that. And for that life to be terminated when he’s still a baby, he’s going to be with God forever in heaven. And that isn’t a bad thing.”

How come people like Robertson never use that line of reasoning with abortions?

 

 

No Panda, no Morse. No power free agent signing. Did someone forget to tell the SF Giants that they were supposed to play small ball?

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Hits and no hits

June 9, 2015

By the numbers.  Hits for  SF Giants pitcher  Chris Heston Tuesday night – 2.

Batters hit by Chris Heston – 3

Hits by the Mets against Chris Heston -0.

That’s some of the weirdest math you’ll see short of a politician claiming he or she can balance a budget.

 

The ‪#‎SFGiants‬ did at least do their very best to make Northern California sports fans forget about basketball for Tuesday night.

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Nothing on game 3 yet, but the NBA admitted they missed some calls late in game 2 of the finals, three fouls by the Warriors and a travel by Lebron James. Shocking. The NBA still has a travelling rule?

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Not sure who’s going to the bullpen or the minors if and when Peavy and or Cain come back this year for ‪#‎SFGiants‬. But Chris Heston just made a pretty good case for it not being him.

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U.S airlines are thinking of reducing carry-on bag sizes from a maximum 22 inches by 14 inches by 9 inches, to 21.5 inches tall by 13.5 inches wide by 7.5 inches. Which should produce many millions in more revenue. If not from checked bag fees than from commission from luggage makers when Americans need to buy new bags.

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One thought about this Texas pool party video. At this point, is there a police officer alive, and for that matter a partying teenager, who shouldn’t know by now that EVERYTHING is likely to be on SOMEONE’s camera phone video?

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As of July 9, Carnival Cruise Lines will ban passengers from bringing any bottled drinks on ship. Carnival says the ban is to limit the smuggling of alcoholic beverages on board for “multiple issues.” As in the multiple times a day they want to sell you booze aboard ship.

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Bob Baffert said of American Pharoah, the horse won’t race next year, but he can have sex with 200 mares in a short period of time….he’ll have a great life” Right, especially since unlike most top athletes, Pharoah won’t have to keep dealing with his baby mamas and child support.

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A federal court has upheld new very restrictive Texas laws that will force half the state’s abortion clinics to close. Well, it’s a good thing that Texas has some of the most generous welfare laws in the country so all those women who can’t get abortions will be able to get financial help with their unplanned-for children….. Oops, never mind.

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Franklin Graham, son of Billy, and head of the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association wants his followers to boycott Wells Fargo over an ad with a gay couple in it, saying the bank is “promoting a Godless lifestyle. ” And “Let’s just stop doing business with those who promote sin and stand against Almighty God’s laws and His standards. ” Uh, if we’re talking banks in general, what about that stuff on usury?

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Mike Huckabee is still defending the Duggar family, saying that the “media has exploited them.” Uh, Governor, if it weren’t for the media, TLC, magazines etc, none of us would have heard of the family in the first place, and Josh might have spent some time in juvenile hall.

 

Finally, from Henry Schulman in the SF Chronicle, for those who don’t live in the SF Bay Area:  “Chris Heston threw the 110th and final pitch of the best game of his life, slammed his right hand into his glove, exhaled a huge puff of air and started to walk the wrong way.

No, Mr. Heston, when you throw a no-hitter, you do not step toward the dugout. You immediately face the plate to get your Buster Hug. That is well-established now on a team that has become synonymous with this difficult and revered baseball achievement.”

(and yes, Heston finally figured it out.)

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Let him out.

June 8, 2015


Many of my friends and readers will be too young. But some of us will remember an old bad phone prank.

 

princealbert

 

With the votes counted as of today, seven Kansas City Royals on track to start this year’s All-Star Game. Guessing most Americans couldn’t NAME seven Kansas City Royals.

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A semi-truck carrying 2,200 piglets tipped over on an Southern Ohio highway, and while no injuries were reported, local police and fire crews are trying to corral the baby pigs running around the county. And wonder how many people are trying to option thescreenplay? ‪#‎MFpigletsonMFhighway‬?

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The New England Patriots have released LB Brandon Spikes today after his damaged and abandoned Mercedes was found about 3:30a Sunday morning in Foxborough. How long until driving your own car becomes as forbidden in the NFL as taking steroids?

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A new study indicates that schizophrenia is more prevalent in people who grew up with cats at home, and some scientists think this could be explained by a parasite called “toxoplasma gondi” that can be found in cat litter boxes. Or it could be explained by being raised by crazy cat ladies.

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At MetLife stadium, NJ State Police arrested a number of people and had to use tear gas after a riot broke out when they closed the gates early to a Summer Jam 2015 concert, keeping both un-ticketed and ticketed fans outside. It was a lot more action than the stadium normally sees with the Jets

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All these GOP candidates juggling potential Presidential campaign announcement dates and trying to make sure they stand out and look good. it’s almost like a bunch of girls trying to pick that singular prom dress.

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Wawrinka vs. Djokovic for the men’s French Open final was not exactly most fans’ dream. “You’re telling us,” said hundreds of copy editors.

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Triple Crown winning jockey Victor Espinoza threw out the first pitch at Yankee Stadium yesterday and got it all the way to the plate. If he were a lefty the Yanks might have signed him.

(my friend Bruce reminds me that that the Dodgers also need short relief.)

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A parole board is recommending Oscar Pistorius be released from prison in August, 10 months after he started serving a 6 year term for killing his girlfriend. 10 months?! With parole boards like this who needs Los Angeles juries?

 

 

 

From my (Jewish) friend Alex Kaseberg,    “Jerry Seinfeld told ESPN radio he thought political correctness could destroy comedy. But what does that crazy Jew know?”

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Ain’t seen nothing yet?

June 7, 2015

Apparently many politicians in Morocco are upset after Jennifer Lopez’s televised concert from Rabat, because of her skimpy clothing and “suggestive poses” on stage. And an education group is suing the singer for “‘disturbing public order and tarnishing women’s honor and respect.” Uh, did anyone in the country ever watch J Lo before they invited her to perform?

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New 49ers’ DT Darnell Dockett, indicating he is not worried about all the SF retirements and coaching changes, tweeted “Don’t ask me about who’s retired and what’s going on with football this and that…. We will still WIN! Just watch! ‪#‎savage‬ ‪#‎adversity‬” The 49ers will still win!? Yeah, probably at least one or two games.

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Some think we now need netting all the way around the baseball diamonds to prevent incidents like that woman being badly hurt by a broken bat at Fenway Park. But fans are injured in traffic and pedestrian accidents going to and from games all the time. And while we’re at it, what about the health risks from some of those insane ballpark foods? ‪

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Two convicted killers escaped from a maximum security prison in upstate New York that hadn’t been breached in 150 years. So what will come first, their capture, or the made-for-TV movie?

 

Lindsey Graham just said “If Caitlyn Jenner wants to be a Republican, she is welcome in my party.” Some statements really don’t need a punchline.

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#‎HopeSolo‬ is not exactly giving women athletes the kind of equality with male athletes they had hoped to achieve….

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SF Giants have finally been tabbed for June 21 for their first nationally televised Sunday Night Baseball game of the year on ESPN. Well, based on last year’s performance, not like the network figured fans across the U.S. would have any interest in seeing the team… ‪#‎whatEastCoastbias‬?

 

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Texas just legalized carrying firearms on public university campus. As if drunken frat parties weren’t exciting enough already.

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You sort of wonder, watching Lebron James playing the Warriors pretty even so far all by himself, how did the San Antonio Spurs ever beat the Heat last year?

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Thirty seven years…..

June 6, 2015

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Not sure what’s harder to believe, 37 years since the last Triple Crown.  Or how old I’ll be if it’s 37 years until the next one.

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Millions of course for this win for the owner, trainer and jockey. For American Pharoah… .all the mares he wants.  A lot of men are thinking, not a bad deal.

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As if spelling in the US wasn’t bad enough, millions of children will grow up never learning how to spell Pharaoh. ‪#‎AmericanPharoah‬

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Wonder how many superstitious horse owners will now deliberately try to misspell their horse’s names.

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Two women who work as costumed characters in Times Square were arrested Thursday, after “Minnie Mouse” got into a brawl with “Hello Kitty.” And how many children in the area are headed for a lifetime of therapy?

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Wow. A Fantasy Football Convention scheduled for Las Vegas was cancelled after the NFL objected, saying it violated the league’s rules about players being associated with gambling. There’s gambling around the NFL?? I’m shocked, shocked.

(Actually I’m more shocked the NFL could say this with a straight face.)

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The Westboro Baptist Church picketed Beau Biden’s funeral. Can we just tell all ISIS sympathizers that the WBC likes to draw Mohammad too? ‪#‎bipartisanbustohell‬.

A man was arrested today for allegedly throwing coffee at Westboro Baptist Church members who were picketing Beau Biden’s funeral. What!? Wasn’t the coffee hot enough?

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Apparently there was a rule in Louisville started in the late 18th century for town meetings – all business must be concluded before drinking could begin. Hmm, might be a good rule to apply to the U.S. Congress.

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The Duggars are now blaming the “media frenzy” as being “a thousand times worse” than their brother Josh’s abuse. Now, I feel sorry for the girls, and have no doubt this isn’t any fun for them now at all….but isn’t their family’s whole livelihood dependent on the media in the first place? ‪#‎LivebytheRealityShowDiebytheRealityShow‬

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A Delta Air Lines flight from Green Bay to Minneapolis made an emergency landing back in Green Bay after an engine was damaged by an apparent bird strike during takeoff. Delta says there were no injuries. The bird would disagree.

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Moving on.

June 5, 2015

Anthony Davis, 25, retired today, the fourth SF 49er to quit football this offseason. And 49ers season ticket holders are thinking – you can do that?

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One of the Republicans supporting President Obama’s efforts to normalize relations with Cuba is South Carolina Rep. Mark Sanford, who has filed a bill to remove all travel restrictions to the island for Americans. Hmm…. because maybe Sanford thinks some day he might to need to hike there?

 

Brittney Griner filed for an annulment after only being married for 28 days to fellow WNBA star Glory Johnson. As if anyone had any doubt that gay celebrity marriages weren’t really that different from straight ones.

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God Bless Texas. As Hillary Clinton pointed out, a student ID is not sufficient proof of identity to vote…. but a gun permit qualifies.

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Meanwhile, U.S. officials are saying that Chinese hackers have hacked into the computer networks of the U.S. government personnel office and may have personal information on over 4 million people. Maybe Hillary Clinton’s use of private email server was a lot smarter than we gave her credit for.

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Rick Perry in his Presidential race announcement “We must do right, and risk the consequences.” Anyone but me hear “do right” in connection with Rick Perry and think of “Dudley?”

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And we thought he had crazy talk about Cuba: Here’s Marco Rubio on Fox News, talking about Iraq, and insisting he doesn’t advocate “nation-building.” “It’s not nation-building. We are assisting them in building their nation.”

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Yahoo says it is shutting down Yahoo maps. Shocking. Yahoo still had maps?

 

This might be my favorite story of the week. With all the millions we are spending on trying to track ISIS, the US was able to destroy one of their buildings after Florida airmen noticed one of the terrorists had posted a selfie from a recognizable location. Even those 72 virgins will be telling this guy he’s an idiot.

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Hunter Pence was out for tonight’s SF Giants game with tendinitis in his wrist. Let’s hope he didn’t hurt it trying to figure out how to put on a suit for the White House. ‪#‎IblameObama‬

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But really, anyone but me kind of hope the Secret Service doesn’t notice this picture of Hunter Pence before the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ play in Washington, D.C. on July 4th weekend? ‪#‎stillcrazyafteralltheseyears‬

hunter

With all the hype over Caitlyn Jenner, who looks like a beautiful movie star, have to wonder, what would be the reaction if the star she looked like was say, the late Phyllis Diller?

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Jessa Duggar, now married, defended her brother’s alleged sexual abuse as “mild, inappropriate touching.” Uh, if you were allowed only side-hugs and no kisses until marriage, how the heck would you know what “mild. inappropriate touching” was?

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