Posted tagged ‘South Carolina jokes’

Blowing in the wind.

June 23, 2015

Now Rand Paul and Donald Trump have joined the call to take Confederate flags down and put them “in a museum” Guess it’s hard to ignore the way the wind’s blowing when it becomes a full-fledged hurricane.

 

 

Gamecocks coach Steve Spurrier, who has indicated his distaste for that “damn Confederate flag” before, today tweeted “The South Carolina football team, players and coaches strongly support Governor Haley’s decision to remove the flag from the capitol.”

Well, so now we’ve finally got a statement from one of the REALLY powerful men in the state.

Regarding Trump’s decision to speak up against the Confederate flag, did that furry thing that lives on his head whisper in his ear? ‪#‎combingaround‬?

Virginia Governor Terry McAuliffe says he is also immediately taking steps tio remove the Confederate flag from state specialty license plates. Don’t get me wrong, I think all this getting rid of the flags is a good idea. But it is also all a lot easier than dealing with the gun problem.

Rush Limbaugh is now proclaiming that removing the Confederate flag is about “destroying the south” Actually Limbaugh should be sending flowers to the politicians in South Carolina as no doubt their actions will increase the number of angry white men who listen to him.

Rapper Diddy (Sean Combs), whose son plays football at UCLA, was arrested for attacking a coach with a kettlebell weight. Talk about helicopter parents, this guy was trying to be more of a bomber plane parent.

Gmail has a new feature, “undo send,” which allows users to delay emails 5-30 seconds so they can be canceled and retrieved, Of course, if you’re mad (or drunk) enough to send an email you’ll later regret, hard to imagine calming down (or sobering up) enough in 30 seconds to change your mind.

 

Okay, clearly there are more important issues in the world. But regarding these pleas from teams to vote for their potential All-Star players “Vote 35 times right now.”

So how in the world did they come up with 35 as the magic number. Even in Chicago folks are thinking that’s excessive.

 

The Minnesota State Fair has released its list of new foods for 2015. Including caramel chocolate-dipped bacon ice cream bars, mac and cheese cupcakes, and a burger dog with hot dogs, hamburger meat, bacon, cheese and peppers on a bun. And no doubt ticket stubs from the fair will be good for a discount at your friendly cardiologist.

 

Iowa is granting  permits to acquire or carry guns in public to people who are legally or completely blind. Texas and Florida are thinking “Why didn’t we think of that?”

 

 

New York City is apparently probing Whole Foods Markets over allegedly overcharging customers for the last five years. Uh, isn’t overcharging customers part of Whole Foods’ mission statement?

 

 

Oops, Russell Athletic apparently accidentally produced some maroon and white jerseys with both Mississippi State and Texas A&M logos on them. Were they counting on fans at each school not being able to read?

 

 

 

 

This bus-to-hell moment brought to you by Marc Ragovin: “Dick Van Patten (1928-2015) has passed away. I guess 86 was enough. “

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What’s in a name?

January 21, 2012

The Cleveland Indians pitcher formerly known as Fausto Carmona apologized for lying about his name and his age. After Leo Nunez of the Marlins was caught doing the same thing. If they are ever traded for each other it could be the first trade solely involving two players to be named later.

Brilliant analysis from New England Patriots QB Tom Brady on his website, “The team that’s going to win this weekend is the team that plays the best.”

How weird is this NBA season? Tonight the Lakers lost to the Magic, and the Clippers lost to the T’Wolves. And the Clippers’ loss was more surprising.

Although he hasn’t read it and says he won’t read it, Tiger Woods is already ripping former coach Hank Haney’s upcoming book about him: “I think people understand that this book is about money.” And Tiger’s point is?

Tiger Woods claims he has not read the upcoming book by his former coach Hank Haney, but he is already criticizing it.

Sort of like those GOP candidates who say they haven’t seen their Super PAC commercials but can describe them word for word.

So in conservative South Carolina, Mitt Romney may lose to a serial adulterer who told one of his wives he wanted an open marriage. To paraphrase Sally Field, Mitt should be thinking – “You don’t like me, you REALLY don’t like me.”

Newt Gingrich says he was just misunderstood. He still does mean that marriage is between one man and one woman. He just meant to qualify that with “in bed, at the same time.”

All this controversy about Gingrich wanting an open marriage. Newt already HAD an open marriage, he just wanted Marianne’s permission.

The St. Louis Rams have announced they will play a regular season game in London in each of the next three NFL seasons. And from “across the pond” come the cries “Hey mates, haven’t we suffered enough?”

Only 30 days until pitchers and catchers report. So, okay Cubs fans, time to order those “Countdown to elimination clocks.”

Newt Gingrich said of our President – “He’s likeable. I would never beat Obama in a personality contest.” Yes, but the scary thing for the GOP…Gingrich does beat Mitt Romney in a personality contest.

The blond hostess who was seen drinking with the Costa captain the night the ship sank is denying rumors they were romantically involved. She told an Italian paper he always was showing pictures of his daughter and that “A man who wants a lover does not behave like that.”

Uh, not saying the two were or they weren’t involved. But Bill Clinton doted on Chelsea.

From Michael Hayne: “If Mitt Romney wants to get rid of Newt Gingrich, he just needs to become seriously ill and Newt will leave.”

And from Marc Ragovin, a last word on Tim Tebow.

Here’s a way to describe “passes completed/attempts” in a typical Tebow game: Tim 3:16