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Fear and loathing

January 26, 2016

Donald Trump is now saying he will “definitely” skip Thursday’s GOP debate on Fox. So this man thinks he can stand up to America’s enemies, and he can’t even stand up to Megyn Kelly?

 

Donald Trump & Sarah Palin have done so much for Megyn Kelly & Tina Fey’s careers/earning potential they could almost ask for royalties?

 

 

Unclear on the concept – Trump says he doesn’t want to debate because Megyn Kelly is a “lightweight.” Uh, to use a sports analogy, no NBA team is upset this year to see the Lakers or 76ers next on their schedule.

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Arizona sheriff Joe Arpaio has endorsed Donald Trump for President. Well, of course he did. Assume the self-styled “America’s Toughest Sheriff” has designs on being Attorney General?

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And now John Rocker is endorsing Trump. Wow. Anyone heard from Archie Bunker lately?

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Missouri QB Maty Mauk has been suspended from the football program for the third time since September. The first was a violation of team rules, the second after a dispute in a bar, and this time after a video surfaced of him allegedly smoking cocaine. Even Johnny Manziel is thinking “Dude, get it together.”

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Tom Delay is claiming the FBI is “ready to indict” Hillary Clinton. Well, I guess Delay does consider himself an expert on indictments.

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Los Angeles Clippers forward Blake Griffin reportedly fractured his hand during an argument with a member of the team’s equipment staff.  So was the injury during the fight itself, or when the guy moved towards Griffin and Blake flopped?

 

Peyton Manning reportedly told Bill Belichick after the AFC Championship that this *(Super Bowl) might be my last rodeo.” And Belichick no doubt was thinking “We expected THIS game to be your last rodeo.”

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In a week the first 2016 Presidential caucuses will be over. And then we can go back to not caring about Iowa for four years.

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Reports of hearing gunshots at Naval Medical Center San Diego apparently were a false alarm. But now everyone at the Center will be banned from playing “Call of Duty” without the sound muted.

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The SF 49ers hired as their new defensive coordinator the Browns’ Jim O’Neill. So no one told them Cleveland’s only good defensive performance last year was against San Francisco?

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New York Jets lineman Sheldon Richardson was placed on 2 years probation after pleading guilty to reduced charges stemming from a July police chase in St. Louis. He allegedly drove up to 143 mph, resisted arrest, and was found to have a loaded handgun under the floor mat. Police also detected a “strong marijuana” odor in the car.
Richardson served a four-game suspension this year for violating the NFL’s substance abuse policy. but his lawyer doesn’t expect additional discipline.
Once again, it’s part of the league’s strict “12 strikes and you’re out” policy.

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Today’s Darwin nominee: Michigan police say a man who killed in a single car rollover accident in Detroit wasn’t wearing pants and was watching porn while driving. Women are going “How appalling stupid can you be?” Men are going “You can do that?”

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Breaking news that Oregon protest leader Ammon Bundy and others have been arrested; 1 person is reportedly dead. ‪#‎Ifonlytheywerearmed‬…. no, wait, never mind.

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In Kentucky, a federal judge has ruled that the state cannot deny millions of $$ in a tourism tax incentive to a religious group building a Noah’s Ark attraction, citing First Amendment grounds. Alrighty then, who’s ready to join me in supporting a Wiccan theme park? Or “Atheist World?” Or heck, why not “Mecca Land?”

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Messing with Texas.

January 26, 2016

Against Golden State tonight, San Antonio turned the ball over so often you have to wonder if Carlson Palmer was involved.

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Apparently Johnny Manziel spent Sunday afternoon watching the Patriots and Broncos while drinking and partying at a Dallas bar. Well, makes sense. Guessing this will be one more in a long line of NFL playoff games that Manziel will be watching at a bar.

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Lebron James, talking about Tyronn Lue’s “vision” of implementing an up-coming offense. “I don’t know. We don’t know. This is what Coach wants to do… this isn’t a LeBron thing.” Translation, if it doesn’t work, Lue’s tenure could be nasty, brutal and short.

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Tom Brady, after yesterday’s loss, says he has “no excuses.” No worries, no doubt Giselle has plenty of them.

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Khloe Kardashian said of Lamar Odom that, “he’s doing great, but his memory’s not so good.” Maybe he’s doing great because he forgot he was married to a Kardashian?

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Donald Rumsfeld said that George H.W. Bush’s criticisms of him are not “very helpful” to Jeb’s run for the presidency. With all due respect, the person who is the least helpful to Jeb’s run for the presidency is Jeb.

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In Orlando, two former tech employees have filed a lawsuit, claiming Disney colluded with consulting companies in using H-1B visas to hire people from India to replace them. Not sure what will happen, but between legal fees and a possible settlement, sounds like ticket prices are going up.

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#‎RickPerry‬ has endorsed ‪#‎TedCruz‬. Wonder how many reasons the Texas Governor gave for the endorsement?

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Glenn Beck today called Donald Trump a “very dangerous man” after Trump’s remarks about shooting someone last week. Just how insane do you have to be for Beck to call you dangerous? ‪#‎guessweknowtheanswertothatquestion‬

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A Texas grand jury looking into allegations against Planned Parenthood has issued indictments  – against the anti-abortion activists who made the videos.  Waiting for some GOP candidate to say, “Well, of course that’s what happens in a commie-pinko blue state…. Oops, never mind.

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So now that the Texas grand jury has cleared Planned Parenthood but indicted the people who made those misleading videos can we name Carly Fiorina as an unindicted co-conspirator?

 

Donald Trump says he could shoot someone dead on Fifth Avenue and not lose any votes.  And somewhere Charlie Crist is thinking “But just try putting your arm around President Obama.”

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Chris Christie, in response to a questioner who asked him why he was in New Hampshire campaigning instead of back in New Jersey dealing with storm damage and flooding “What do you want me to do, bring a mop?”
If he does get the nomination, Christie could do the near impossible – make Hillary Clinton look warm and fuzzy.

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This bus-to-hell moment brought to you by Alex Kaseberg  “Alaska was hit with a 7.2 earthquake. It was so bad it knocked Bristol Palin off the dude she just met.”

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Clipped wings?

January 24, 2016

Right about now if Carson Palmer threw a tantrum it would be intercepted.

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Maybe we should have expected this Panthers-Cardinals result – cat owners do know what cats do to birds.

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Meanwhile,  Manning vs. Brady turned out to be a battle for the aged.

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Interesting that for as little difference as the decision to make the PAT a 33 yard kick may have made the season, that decision might have kept the Patriots out of the Super Bowl.

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The snow has stopped, and headlines in New York papers today say things like “We survived.” And in places like Denver, Chicago and Minneapolis they are just giggling.

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In Kansas, State Senator Mitch Holmes instituted a dress code for women testifying before committees – no short skirts or plunging necklines, as he says they look provocative and are a distraction Hmm, now for men, what about comb-overs, bad toupees. and pants belted under bellies, which look ridiculous and are a distraction.

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Donald Trump wants Megyn Kelly off the next debate, Fox has responded “Megyn Kelly has no conflict of interest. Donald Trump is just trying to build up the audience for Thursday’s debate, for which we thank him.”
How often do I say this, “Fox News is right.”

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Bizarre fact on Monday’s  ‪#‎SpursvsWarriors‬ game; GS coach Steve Kerr retired after playing for San Antonio in 2003, 3 of his teammates & coach still on team.

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Rick Santorum says if he doesn’t do well in Iowa he may end up ending his 2016 Presidential campaign. Shocking. Santorum is still running in 2016?

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Jeb Bush today praised Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder for “stepping up” and accepting responsibility for the Flint water crisis. Amazed he didn’t say “Rickie, you’re doing a helluva job.”

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A Brooklyn man, playing around with a gun he thought was unloaded, put it to his friend’s head and pulled the trigger. He thought wrong. And has been arrested for homicide. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬ ‪#‎yourmoveFlorida‬

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To all who love to dismiss the idea of gun control working when there is a shooting in Canada or a city or state with tough laws. So since there are still deaths resulting from drunk drivers does that mean we should give up on DUI laws? Heck, for that matter why have laws against murder. It doesn’t stop all of them.

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There’s no place like snow?

January 24, 2016

It’s an ill wind that blows nobody any good.  http://nypost.com/2016/01/23/this-panda-is-having-a-better-snow-day-than-you/

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A piece of wreckage that may belong to MH370 has been found in Thailand. CNN is crushed, they couldn’t have this happen on a weekend where they don’t have Snowageddon to cover?

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Not sure whose fault this storm is. But wonder if in Philadelphia some crazy fan said “God, please don’t let the 76ers lose again Saturday night”?

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In New York, Broadway shows were told to close Saturday. And no doubt hardy locals were thinking “No, no, it’s our one chance to get reasonably priced standby or Stubhub tickets to Hamilton.”

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And with all the train, transit, restaurant, theater etc. closing in New York over snow, no doubt folks in Chicago,  Green Bay and Minneapolis were united in thinking “WIMPS!”

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Temperatures in Orlando, Florida have fallen into the 40s and may go as low as 33 tonight. “I feel so sorry for them” said no one on the East Coast.

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George Zimmerman’s divorce has been finalized. So guess what ladies, he’s single.

 

Apparently at least 80% of the money in Las Vegas has been waged on the Patriots tomorrow, even as 3 point favorites. So if Peyton and the Broncos pull it out, the top champagne toast for Vegas bookies will be “Omaha!”

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Barbara Bush has made a campaign ad for Jeb’s run for President, “Rather than talking about how popular they are or how great they are, he’s doing it because he sees huge need and it’s not being filled by anybody.”
Wonder how long it will take another GOP candidate showing Barbara saying we’ve had enough Bushes in the White House?

 

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Now Michael Bloomberg is talking about jumping into the Presidential race as a third party candidate. If nothing else he’ll give Trump a run on who has the biggest ego in New York City.

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Donald Trump said today at a rally in Iowa “I could stand in the middle of 5th Ave, shoot somebody & I wouldn’t lose any voters, it is incredible.”
I am not sure what’s scarier, that Trump said, it, or that it’s probably true.

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In Renton, Washington, an allegedly drunk young man dropped his gun in a movie theater showing “13 Hours.” It discharged and critically injured a woman ‪#‎ifonlytheotherpatronshadbeenarmed‬

 

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So after today, the SAT test is changing and will no longer require the vocabulary section with often obscure words. Those of us who got into college partly because of how much we read find this rather lugubrious.

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The King’s speech?

January 23, 2016

The Cleveland Cavaliers, 30-11, have fired coach David Blatt. Wait a minute, the Cavs had a coach besides Lebron?

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The Cleveland Cavaliers say LeBron James was not consulted in the firing of David Blatt. Right. Lebron was, however, reportedly heard to say “Will no one rid me of this troublesome coach?

 

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A 21-year-old University of Virginia student who was on a 5-day tour out of China has been arrested in North Korea, for allegedly committing a ‘hostile act under orders from Washington.”
Thinking, if you are American who goes voluntarily to North Korea, and your name isn’t Rodman, you deserve what you get. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

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Jeffery H. Cohen, 70, of Pittsburgh died last week. In his obituary: Jeffrey would ask that in lieu of flowers, please do not vote for Donald Trump.”
Well, the primary is April 26, don’t suppose that for him Cohen’s family could file a VERY absentee ballot?

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Willie Robertson of “Duck Dynasty” has endorsed Donald Trump. But his dad Phil has endorsed Ted Cruz. Well, it could do wonders for ratings if father and son decide to settle this with a duel.

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Bar owners near Wrigley Field are worried about the Cubs’ new outdoor plaza area, specifically that the team might try to undersell them on beer. This would never happen near Yankee Stadium – the Yankees will never sell beer lower than ANYBODY.

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It’s the 43rd anniversary of ‪#‎RoevWade‬ and the Wisconsin state senate just voted to take away $8 million in federal funds for Planned Parenthood. So wonder how many unwanted pregnancies and thus potential abortions THAT will result in….

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Why there is no satire: The New York City Department of Parks had planned a snow festival in the city this weekend. It has been canceled – due to snow.

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So now that Jonas is turning out to be the real deal, there are two numbers for storm watchers to speculate about: How many Inches of snow? And how many weekend Darwin award winners?

 

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Bus to hell guest sport from TC  “Singer Don MacLean was arrested this week for domestic assault. His lawyer is blaming it on too much whiskey and rye.”

 

 

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We don’t need no stinking bats

January 21, 2016

Increasingly looking like the designated hitter will be a done deal in the 2017 season in the NL. Well, there’s talk of the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ renegotiating Bumgarner’s contract – wonder if besides a nice raise ‪#‎Madbum‬ will insist that HE can DH?

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So one of the reason MLB may be moving to a universal DH is the threat of injury to their star pitchers who don’t handle a bat well. Well, if that’s the rationale, why not add DRs – designated runners for stars who don’t move that well? ‪#‎wherewillitend‬? ‪#‎notrealbaseball‬

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Increasingly difficult for a comedy writer today to ‪#‎Trump‬ reality. Satire is ‪#‎Palin‬ by comparison.

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Former UConn and Portland Trail Blazers basketball player Cliff Robinson is opening a recreational marijuana dispensary in Oregon, saying there’s a “mis-perception that athletes and cannabis are incompatible.” Okay, “illegal”? Maybe. “Incompatible? – Not to anyone who’s been paying attention.’

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Herman Cain says he gets callers all the time who say “I am black, I’m female and I’m going from Democrat to Trump.” If true, maybe someone needs to send Cain a link to an Urban Dictionary – the page referring to “catfish.”

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Louisana consistently ranks as the state with the worst health in the nation. Now with new Governor John Bel Edwards accepting the ACA, the state health dept expects almost 450,000 patients to be added to Medicaid, including 300,000 previously uninsured. ‪#‎IblameObama‬

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In New Jersey, the assembly passed a bill last June with almost unanimous bipartisan support to prevent anyone convicted of gang activity, making terror threats or carjacking from buying or owning a gun in the state. This week, Chris Christie vetoed it.
And the formerly pro-gun control Governor expects us to believe he can stand up to our enemies? He can’t even stand up to the NRA.

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The Oscars boycott list grows, now Will Smith says he will not attend and Mark Ruffalo is thinking about it. If this keeps up they might actually get the show finished this year in under four hours.

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Wow. Bizjournals.com reports this from United Airlines’ Vice Chairman Jim Compton “We’ve come to recognize that completion factor — getting people from point A to B — is the most important metric.”
What was their first clue?

 

Eric Garcetti, L.A.’s mayor, said in talking about the Rams, that he would love to see the Chargers stay in San Diego, and the Raiders stay in Oakland. Translation, either Garcetti cares more about traffic than football, or he just might have ambitions for statewide office.

 

 

TSA said they found 2,653 guns last year at US airports, up 20% over last year, and more than 82% were loaded. Scary. What might be scarier is the possible number they didn’t find.

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Rule breakers

January 21, 2016

WR Josh Gordon, who was indefinitely suspended from the NFL for substance abuse violations involving marijuana and alcohol, has asked Roger Goodell for reinstatement. Of course had Gordon just beat people up to deal with his stress, he’d probably be on an active roster right now.

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Chip Kelly’s introductory press conference with Jed York and Trent Baalke was all warm and fuzzy this morning. Why did it feel a bit like watching the fourth wedding of some Hollywood star? ‪#‎unrealisticdreams‬?

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Donald Trump, asked about Sarah Palin as a possible running mate “”I don’t think she’d want to do it.” Translation – “I’m crazy but not that bat-shit crazy..

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Who knows whether this next possible “storm of the century” will live up to hype or just be another cause of unnecessary panic in the D.C. area. At least the Washington Redskins have done their part by not giving residents a playoff game and traffic to worry about.

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So in Pakistan, the Taliban claimed responsibility for an attack that killed 24 at a university. Awful, but I’m confused, are the Taliban now bad guys we are supporting, or  bad guys we are fighting?

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University of Florida CB Jalen Tabor was upset with football players not getting any pay other than a scholarship, food and some other benefits. So he tweeted “The SEC Made $527.4 Million in Total Revenue and Players Ain’t Get A Penny. Modern Form of Slavery.”
Now, all my friends know how much I “love” the SEC. But last I heard, no one trained hard and went through a very competitive voluntary recruiting process to become a slave.

 

So does the collapse in the price of oil mean that the GOP will no longer feel as compelled to invade every country that has it?

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A report says that at Mount St. Mary’s, a small Catholic university, president Simon Newson said this at a faculty meeting about struggling students and retention rates:   Faculty “think of students as cuddly bunnies,” but they “just have to drown the bunnies…put a Glock to their heads.”

Proving once again, that a PhD and a lofty title is no guarantee against ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

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In New Orleans, a woman kept her gun under a pillow and it accidentally discharged last night, killing her 3-year-old grandson while the two were sleeping. ‪#‎ifonlytheboywasarmed‬

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Wonder what the conspiracy theorists who think ‪#‎Trump‬ is in the race to help ‪#‎Hillary‬ make of the ‪#‎Palin‬ endorsement?

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Walmart says that all of their over a million workers will receive “at least” a 2% raise. Wow. So with that 20 cents or so extra an hour maybe they’ll be able to buy some of the store’s products.

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The Dow was down as much as 565 points today but ended up down only 264 points. So I think I’ve got this figured out, the drop was all Obama’s fault but any bounce had nothing to do with him.

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ESPN’S OTL reports that the NFL sent three top health and safety officers to challenge the NIH on their proposed study on football and brain disease, even though the league has denied involvement. “I am shocked” said nobody.

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The Virginia legislature just killed a bill that would have decriminalized adultery. Since they are just across the river from DC is this VA’s way of discouraging members of Congress from living in the state?

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From my funny friend Alex Kaseberg,  “Caitlyn Jenner is writing her memoir about her transition to transgender. It will probably be a case of “He said/She said.”

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Birdbrains?

January 20, 2016

#‎SarahPalin‬ has endorsed ‪#‎DonaldTrump‬. Well, narcissists of a feather…..

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Or maybe Palin just likes Trump’s style, between his bankruptcies and divorces, Donald has does a fair share of quitting himself.

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Not that I am a fan of the Patriots nor their QB, but Broncos DE Antonio Smith says Brady’s a crybaby because “I’ve never seen any quarterback look to the referee right after he gets sacked.more” So instead of Brady whining to the ref, Smith is whining to the media? ‪#‎potmeetkettle‬

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So forecasters are predicting a major storm MIGHT dump over a foot of snow on the East Coast. Or it might not . “Depending on where this tracks, we could see a ton of snow or we could see nothing,” said National Weather Service Kevin Kacan.
But why let possibilities get in the way of a good media panic-fest?

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Airline brilliance in action: Have a client on an American flight, at airport hours early, wide-open earlier flight, and they say $75 to get on it. Whereas the flight he is on, with a decent seat, is more full, and has no aisles left, so they could at least resell the seat assignment. And these carriers wonder why people hate them.

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Sarah Palin’s 26-year-old divorced son Track was arrested last night for allegedly punching and kicking his girlfriend, while apparently waving a gun around. ‪#‎familyvalues‬ ‪#‎ifonlySHEwerearmed‬

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Donald Trump seems unconcerned about his referring to a line from the bible as “Two Corinthians” rather than “Second Corinthians.” Although it does seem with Trumps followers that he could say Jesus married Mary Magdalene and they’d shrug it off too.

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More on the Donald’s and his Corinthians (“Two”vs. “Second”). You would think that someone who has been married as often as Trump would remember how it goes. Because “First Corinthians” is quoted at so many weddings “Love is patient, love is kind…

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The President of the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences says she is “heartbroken and frustrated” about this year’s nominees, and they will “dramatic steps to alter the makeup of our membership.” So it just occurred to them that 94% Caucasian and 77% male with an average age of 62 isn’t great for diversity?

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Okay, now ‪#‎affluenza‬ teen Ethan Couch’s lawyer is claiming his client may have been taken “involuntarily to Mexico.” Right, as if that young man would pay attention to any adult, including his mother.

 

 

The password management company SplashData has come up with a list of the most popular passwords. Numbers 1-6 are, in order, 123456, password, 12345678, qwerty, 12345, and 123456789.

Thinking if you have any of those, you’re eligible for the hacking equivalent of a Darwin award.

 

An Italian surgeon is seeking donations to perform the world’s first ever human head transplant. No shortage of opportunities no doubt for head volunteers – based on some recent polls seems certain a lot of Americans aren’t using theirs.

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Although, whatever you think of this election it will be a very nice change when the front-runners are actually decided by actual VOTES, as opposed to polls. For what it’s worth, in both England and Canada’s recent elections pollsters were badly wrong. And for that matter, they didn’t do that well on last fall’s U.S. elections either.

 

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MLK Day.

January 18, 2016

Happy MLK Day. Martin Luther King, Jr., was a great man. No question. But if he lived in the internet age no doubt he would have been vilified for his personal life. Now, I love a good gossip as much as anyone. But I wonder, by our unrelenting 24-7 obsession now with looking for frailties, are we discouraging many men, and women, who might be potentially great leaders?

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Panthers coach Ron Rivera has banned hoverboards inside the Carolina Panthers’ facility and suggested his players not ride them to and from work. Now, I get it the week before a game where the winner goes to the Super Bowl. But right, because heaven forbid anyone who plays football should do anything where they can get injured.

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The Rams are talking $100 deposits on season tickets for 2016. And the first person to put down money was Magic Johnson. Wonder if he figures by the start of the season the Dodgers won’t have any games worth watching?

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Guessing the Golden State Warriors were a bit upset about that loss to the Pistons?

132-98.  Normally when Cleveland is this embarrassed, the Browns are involved. ‪#‎Cavs‬ ‪#‎GSvsCLE‬

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In Tennessee, police arrested a teacher after finding three of her students in the trunk of her car. Most people are going “How horrible.” And parents of multiple toddlers are thinking “You can do that?”

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New low-cost Spanish airline Air Europa Express is CHARGING applicants 60 euros to apply for a job. Two thoughts: 1, how awful. 2. Don’t tell U.S. airlines.

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Novak Djokovic, ranked #1 in the world in men’s tennis, says now “I turned down £110k to throw a match.” Scary. But what might be scarier is the number of players below him who are not saying anything.

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To win back customers, Chipotle is planning some free burrito giveaways, that will vary by location. Wonder how many of them might be tied into things like “Bring your mother-in-law to lunch day”?

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British Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn told a UK paper that he never got around to naming his cat, and just calls it “Gato.” (cat in Spanish.) Is he lazy, or does Corbyn just have a Audrey Hepburn in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s fetish?

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Donald Trump today told Fox News that a 2012 tweet, which he has frequently basically repeated, that the “concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make US manufacturing non-competitive” was just a joke.
Did it just occur to the Donald that Asian-Americans vote?

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Penthouse magazine says they are ending its print publication, going exclusively digital. Well, guess no one ever did pick them up at the store saying “I’m just buying it for the articles.”

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Watched Gigi again today. Still one of my favorite movies of all time. But it couldn’t be remade. Gaston would have to register as a sex offender.

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Damn, now Glenn Frey. Such a big part of the soundtrack of my youth. And one of my first album was the Eagles’ Greatest Hits. Too many young men in their 60s are dying. ‪#‎Alreadygone‬

 

So Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder is saying that the Flint water disaster is NOT his “Katrina.” Well, yeah, the hurricane started out as a natural disaster. In Flint, that state deliberately switched their water source in 2014 from Lake Huron to the Flint River to save money, then changed it back only after the corrosive water permanently damaged the lead pipes. So yeah, this isn’t Snyder’s Katrina, it’s much worse.

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from Marc Ragovin  “Just when you thought NFL refs couldn’t be more incompetent, they gave us the most screwed up coin toss since Dick York appeared in the Twilight Zone.

(yeah, its an old reference, but the episode is classic.”   (google it, children. :0))

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Is it February 2 yet?

January 17, 2016

Arizona vs Carolina next week to advance to the Super Bowl. Guessing the odds on having gotten those NFL teams picked correctly at the beginning of the year were only slightly less than winning the Powerball.

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And even less likely,  when it gets to Super Bowl Sunday, who’d a thunk the Cardinals-Panthers winner might actually be favored?

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After Carolina took a 31-0 lead at halftime, had to think the only people still watching the Panthers-Seahawks game in the 2nd half were probably ‪#‎TCU‬ fans. ‪#‎AlamoBowl‬

 

Watching today’s second AFC Divisional game have to think happiest NFL fans right now are in New England. ‪#‎Howdidtheseteamsgetthisfar‬?

 

#‎Peyton‬ vs. ‪#‎Brady‬ for the AFC championship. Does this make January 24, 2016’s honorary Groundhog Day?

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So on top of two amazing passes, the NFL playoff game between the Packers and Cardinals rode partly on a disputed coin toss, where some think the coin might have slightly favored heads? Anyone seen the Patriots’ ball boys?

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Wonder how many people turned off ‪#‎GBvsAZ‬ late figuring “Well, it’s over, the ‪#‎Cardinals‬ are going to win.” And they were right.

 

The more I hear about “The Revenant” the more I am convinced of of two things: One, give Leonardo the Oscar already. Two, I am never, ever going to see this movie.

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Apparently a flight attendant on a Ryanair flight delayed from eight hours from Glasgow told passengers they were not taking off due to ice on the wings and said “‘we don’t want to die.” This being Ryanair amazed they didn’t charge extra for the honesty.

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Monday the British Parliament is actually debating whether or not to ban Donald Trump from visiting the country. Sometimes you wonder why we Americans fought so hard for independence.

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A UK study says that 17 percent of British people over 50 say they drink 4 times a week. From a US perspective, ‪#‎Amateurs‬

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US and Iraq authorities are reportedly searching for 3 U.S citizens who were apparently kidnapped in Baghdad, With all due respect, what were these Americans doing in Baghdad in the first place? ‪#‎deathwish‬

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Last fall, a video went viral of Taco Bell executive Benjamin Golden, 32, beating his Uber driver in a drunken rage. Now Golden, upon sober reflection, is suing for $5 million, saying the recording was illegal, that the driver shouldn’t have picked up someone who was so drunk, and that since the video had so many viewers, now he, Golden has “emotional distress and anxiety” and has lost his job.
Which brings up a tough question: For douchebag of the year, who’s now the frontrunner? Benjamin or his lawyer?

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Parity?

January 16, 2016

Anyone but me just tired of the usual suspects in the ‪#‎NFLPlayoffs‬?   This is turning into “Same Time Next Year.”

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Just wondering, while ‪#‎TedCruz‬ is at it, when is he going to start denigrating Ivy League Princeton and Harvard values?

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Iran released 4 Americans prisoners on Friday, including Washington Post journalist Jason Rezaian. ‪#‎IblameObama‬

 

At a Friday rally for Carly Fiorina, a 10-year-old girl told the candidate “Donald Trump’s a moron.’ and Fiorina repeated it. Alas, even Carly’s good ideas aren’t original.

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Rand Paul, who opposed the Iran nuclear deal in Congress, told the UK Guardian that the U.S. prisoner release was ““a hopeful sign about the agreement” and “a sign that we need to continue to try to see if negotiations will work”. Proving once again that whatever his other pros and cons, Rand Paul is occasionally shows signs of being  way too reasonable to be the GOP Presidential nominee.

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Walmart says they will close 154 stores in the U.S., along with ending their Walmart Express format in urban areas. “I feel so sorry for them” said no small-business owners (and those who are ex-small business owners because of Walmart.)

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Now Ted Cruz is saying he’s sorry to New Yorkers, sort of. “I apologize to pro-life, pro-marriage, pro-Second Amendment New Yorkers who Cuomo brazenly told have no place in the state of New York…” Now, what about all those pro-choice, pro-marriage equality, pro-gun control Texans Cruz himself is saying have no place in Texas?

 

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Donald Trump is gloating in a tweet “I told you so” because a Texas lawyer has filed the first lawsuit challenging Ted Cruz’s eligibility to be President. But once again I ask, where is the birth certificate for that furry thing that lives on Trump’s head?

 

A British primary (elementary) school has banned children from bringing birthday cakes to class, because of possible allergies. Said the head (principal) it was “too much to expect teachers to read ingredient lists…. In our modern society in which we are held accountable, we cannot take the risk.”
Kind of makes you wonder sometimes how we all survived to adulthood.

 

 

 

Kobe Bryant says now he won’t pursue a spot on the next U.S. Olympic team. Well, of course not, coach Gregg Popovich might expect him actually to pass the ball. ‪#‎butthereisalwaystheSeniorOlympics‬

 

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The Tennessee Titans have hired interim head coach Mike Mularkey as their permanent head coach. Translation, they couldn’t find anyone better to take the job.

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And okay, if Lebron James  keeps this up, after returning to Cleveland and doing a nice job in Trainwreck, I might have to start liking him.

LeBron calls Tim Duncan the ‘greatest PF ever’ in heartfelt message

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Doing the math

January 15, 2016

The SF 49ers have given Chip Kelly a 4-year, $24 million contract. So that likely works out to about $12 million a year.

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Rams coach Jeff Fisher, on the team’s move to Los Angeles, acknowledged  the “great fan base” they are leaving, and said he hopes they will continue because “once you’re a Rams fan, you’re always a Rams fan.”
Right, like those whose spouses leave for what they perceive is a better offer still remain loyal to their ex’s.  #SMH

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Due to a dispute where the outgoing Yosemite concessionaire claims they own the names and want $51 million for them, the park’s hotels names are at least temporarily changing- for starters, the Ahwahnee Hotel is becoming the “Majestic Yosemite Hotel?”
Forget banks and airlines, now this is corporate greed that really may get Americans out with their pitchforks.

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A Tennessee woman who with her husband won $528 million on Powerball, took the day off to appear the “Today” show, but told her boss she’d be at work Monday. She did, not, however, mention Tuesday..

 

So do we blame the stock market drop on Obama. Or the fact that the market realized that one of the people on last night’s stage has a chance of being President?

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A woman who claimed to have spent all her money on Powerball tickets set up a GoFundMe page for donations from the public. Maybe she’d have gotten more sympathy these days if she said she put all her money in the stock market.

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Ted Cruz criticized Donald Trump for “New York Values.” Now, heaven knows I am not fond of Trump. But going directly after “New York Values?” Could there be a town to pick a fight with where more people in America still buy “ink by the barrel?”

 

Scary situation with many people killed and some potential hostages in Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso. Of course most Americans would be a lot more concerned if they had ever heard of Ouagadougou or Burkino Faso.

 

 

From my funny Canadian friend  T.C.  on Congress abolishing a bill that would reveal the source of meats sold in the U.S.  “Shortly afterwards, Taco Bell executives were seen high-fiving.”

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Musical clipboards.

January 14, 2016

So the 49ers have hired Chip Kelly as their next coach. Well, with Oregon Kelly does have experience dealing successfully with an amateur operation

 

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ESPN is reporting that Tom Coughlin is withdrawing his name from consideration to coach the Eagles. Because, at 70, thinking he has 2-3 years left, Coughlin wants to win right away. Guess that explains why the former Giants coach won’t be coming to San Francisco either.

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So there were, in the end, three Powerball jackpot winners. Which means each ticket will only get $528 million. Oh, the horror.

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So now that ‪#‎Powerball‬ jackpot has been won, will average Americans concerned about retirement go back to worrying about Social Security?

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Rough week. ‪#‎DavidBowie‬ and ‪#‎AlanRickman‬. I remember a time when I thought 69 was old.

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Okay, not a Harry Potter fan, so while I liked Alan Rickman in “Bottle Shock” mostly remember being furious at his character for cheating on the amazing Emma Thompson in “Love Actually.” Perhaps Kenneth Branagh might do well not to miss any checkups.

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Meanwhile, A new study at Stanford shows that being too focused on cleaning may be hazardous to our health. Yeah, I’m gonna live forever!

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Oscar nominations are out. And here we go again with ‪#‎onlywhiteactingmatters‬

 

Leaving the race issue aside, also pretty clear with Oscar nominations especially for Best Picture, that ‪#‎onlymaleleadsmatter‬ ‪#‎OscarNoms‬

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Jeb Bush has released a new campaign ad in which he calls Donald Trump “a jerk.” Uh, has anyone told Jeb that most of Trump’s supporters KNOW he’s a jerk. For some, that’s why they’re voting for him.

 

 

 

Bus to hell time: René Angélil, Celene Dion’s mentor-manager-husband, has passed away at the age of 73. Wonder what song she’ll sing at his funeral?

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Timing is everything?

January 13, 2016

The NFL is moving back to Los Angeles. So will LA Rams football fans who are also Dodgers ‪fans arrive in 2nd quarter & leave in 3rd?

 

United Airlines has sent an email to frequent fliers, excitedly touting their new free snack in domestic economy class. Either a half ounce package of savory mix or a stroopwafel  (dutch caramel) cookie.  Is the airline trying to induce “Stockholm Syndrome?”

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Hue Jackson has apparently decided to become the head coach at Cleveland. Just how bad has the 49ers franchise become that the Browns look like a better option?

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So the going rate for a new NFL stadium seems to be about a billion dollars. Does this mean tonight’s Powerball winner can if they want have the Raiders?

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Missouri has vacated their men’s college basketball wins from the 2013-14 and will not be eligible for this year’s postseason due to “major violations.” Meanwhile, Frank Haith, who coached during most of the violations, is happily coaching at an unsanctioned (for now) Tulsa. Ain’t NCAA justice grand?

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The search for MH370 in the Indian Ocean has turned up an 19th century shipwreck. And CNN is asking hopefully “Was it a cruise ship?”

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Iran has freed 10 U.S.sailors they detained for straying into their waters. Many in the GOP are furious. The sailors weren’t even held long enough for them to blame Obama.

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Former NFL RB Lawrence Phillips was found dead in his California prison cell early Wednesday, a suspected suicide. Not my better angels here but – “What a shame,” said nobody.

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Chris Christie has not only become anti-choice, he now denies ever making Planned Parenthood donations. Except this is the 1994 quote, from his pro-choice days. “I support Planned Parenthood privately with my personal contribution and that should be the goal of any such agency, to find private donations.”
Uh, Christie can’t just say “I have become pro-life and as such I realized I can’t support them anymore?” ‪#‎cantfixstupid

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The angry reaction from some Republicans on Nikki Haley’s speech doesn’t illustrate the difference between the conservative and moderate wings of the GOP: it illustrates the difference between the conservative and bat-shit crazy wings of the GOP.

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Bus to hell time – One of the men occupying that Oregon Wildlife refuge is unhappy that some responding to their call for supplies have been sending dildos. So what’s the problem, the occupiers also want K-Y jelly?

 

-reader Bill asks  “Just wondering? Do you think we could find Jimmy Hoffa if Rolling Stone could set up an interview with Sean Penn?”

(i wonder, maybe Penn could have helped us save a lot of money finding Bin Laden)

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State of disunion?

January 13, 2016

More politics than sports today.  But unless you were in Oakland, St. Louis, San Diego or Los Angeles, not exactly a big sports day.  Anyone who really doesn’t like our President can stop reading today’s post now 🙂  (or make a snarky comment, I am all for free speech.)

 

Seems odd to see Paul Ryan at the State of the Union, with John Boehner gone it means that on the podium Obama is now the only person of color

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#‎Obama‬ talked a lot about civility, and hope & being good citizens. Waiting for Trump to say he doesn’t want America to become soft.

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Amazing how many people who knock Obamacare are politicians and pundits and other professionals who’ve never had to worry about health insurance in their lives.

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Know not all my friends will agree, but today I was reminded of why I supported Senator Barack Obama a decade ago in the first place. ‪#‎SOTU‬

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I hope all Republicans who don’t like the idea of President Obama’s empty chair at the State of the Union to represent the victims of gun violence were equally upset at Clint Eastwood’s chair talk at the last GOP convention.

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The Family Research Council has invited Kim Davis to attend tonight’s State of the Union. Amazing. Now, I know they’re a conservative group, but no doubt they had at most a couple of tickets – and the person they most want to honor is someone who simply refused to do her job?

 –
The Powerball jackpot is looking to be over $1.5 billion. Wow. In a few years that will be about enough to cover the Dodgers payroll.
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New Vegas odds for the 2016-17 College Football Championship: Alabama 6/1, Clemson 7/1, Oklahoma 7/1, Ohio State 10/1,Baylor 12/1, Florida State 15/1, LSU 15/1, Michigan 15/1, Notre Dame 15/1, Tennessee 15/1
No university west of the Central time zone. I am shocked, said nobody paying attention. ‪#‎whatlatenightgames‬ ‪#‎wehavelatenightgames‬?”

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NFL owners voted today between Los Angeles stadium proposals and on which teams will occupy that new stadium. Discussions were reportedly heated. Oh, this billionaire on billionaire violence.

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The ‪#‎Rams‬ are coming back to ‪#‎LosAngeles‬. Until they decide new stadium isn’t good enough & and they can get more $$$ to go somewhere else

 

All this chatter in Northern California about Oakland “winning” with the Raiders. Uh, not exactly. It’s like your significant other decided to leave you for someone else, but then their future partner decided that he or she got a better offer.

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So was this ‪#‎NikkiHaley‬‘s speech to run as vice president? ‪#‎SOTU‬

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I would believe the GOP a lot more on their interest in healthcare reform if any of them had done a damn thing about it when they controlled Congress and the Presidency. Ditto helping the middle class, etc.

 

Apparently Kim Davis sat “stony-faced” during the SOTU when Obama said that “America has secured the freedom in every state to marry the person we love.” Well, yeah, because the four-times married Davis believes the President’s actions somehow have hurt heterosexual people’s freedom to have as many weddings as they need to get it right?

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Countdown.

January 12, 2016

Best thing about the College Football Playoff.  Now that the game is over,  we know it’s not much more than a month until ‪#‎MLB‬ spring training starts.

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Tonight was really as it turned out,  the Southern U.S. Football Championship.   A week and a half after the big bowls. So did anyone outside the South who doesn’t have money on the game really care?

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The real winners of last night’s Golden Globes hosted by Ricky Gervais? Amy Poehler and Tina Fey, who can now REALLY name their own price.

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Amazing how many stayed in TCF Bank Stadium to bitter end of ‪#‎Vikings‬ game. Though most fans may have been frozen to seats. ‪#‎SEAvsMIN‬

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Johnny Manziel now seems to have disappeared and not even the Browns know where he is. Even Lindsay Lohan is beginning to think this guy needs help.

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Monday on the New York City subway is ‪#‎NoPantsDay‬. Which means Tuesday on the subway is ‪#‎BringHandiWipesDay‬

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ESPN reported that several Denver Broncos players said today that while they are angry at Steelers’ center Cody Wallace for what they perceive as a dirty hit last month, they wouldn’t hurt the team with an ill-timed penalty.

Uh, who goes into any game saying they plan to lose the game over an ill-timed penalty?

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Adam Jones, still upset over the end of the Steelers-Bengals game and his personal foul penalty, claims that Antonio Brown flopped, and today said “He deserved a Grammy Award for that. I know if you just got knocked out you ain’t going to be able to wink and tell me you’re OK.”
A Grammy? Sounds like Pacman’s awareness of pop culture is at about the same level as his self control.

 

The SF 49ers have been granted permission to speak to former NY Giants coach Tom Coughlin, 70. Makes sense. Coughlin can sign a 4 year contract, and then working under Jed York and Trent Baalke, retire when he gets fired at 71.

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When sitting on hold for a long time to make a reservation, always wish just once that instead of saying, “Due to the high demand…”, companies would just be honest: “Due to the fact we don’t want to pay enough people to answer the phones….

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Donald Trump is bragging how he got the Manchester Union Leader removed as a sponsor of the next GOP debate. So apparently while he and other candidates are focusing on the 2nd amendment, it’s okay to trample on the first?

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Laissez les bonne temps roulez – Bobby Jindal is no longer governor of Louisiana.
Now what? At least since his campaign collapsing early Jindal has a good chance to be hired as a media pundit explaining why several other candidates have no chance.

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A Conn. rookie police officer has resigned and been charged with 1st degree larceny after saying he needed time off with pay for U.S.Army Reserves duty in December, when he was actually going to Hawaii with his girlfriend.

So he’s a cop, and a young man, and in this social media age he still figured there was no chance he’d get caught…. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬ Your move, Florida.

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And seriously, R.I.P. David Bowie. How many musicians manage to be relevant across the generations?   Give the man credit. Not only did he change music in many ways, Bowie also, in a 24-7 internet celebrity-focused age, managed to fight a long battle with terminal cancer without the tabloids and various other media picking up on or publicizing it.  Godspeed, Major Tom.

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A little knowledge

January 10, 2016

Amazing. The same people who suddenly become experts on “triple axels” after watching two days of figure skating in the Olympics now are experts on where the laces should be on a field goal kick.

 

Donald Trump’s latest: NFL referees throw flags to impress their wives watching at home. ‘It (football) has become soft, and our country has become soft.'”
Remember those Furbys – were electronic pets that came up with all kinds of randomly correlated nonsense? Beginning to seem like one of them is running for President.

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After this weekend, four NFL teams likely never to watch “Wizard of Oz” again – “There’s no place like home, my ass.” ‪#‎WildCardWeekend‬

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The temperature was well below zero for Sunday’s  ‪#‎SEAvsMIN‬ game. Might have been almost as cold as White House family dinners after Hillary found out Monica was telling the truth.

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So who will be the first ‪#‎GOP‬ candidate to blame today’s Washington game on Obama? ‪#‎GBvsWAS‬

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The 49ers reportedly may hire Bengals offensive coordinator Hue Jackson as their new coach. Well, after yesterday’s Cincinnati meltdown, SF probably looks like less of a train wreck by comparison.

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Watching the political craziness now thinking that had only the Stanford band decided to mock the Iowa caucuses instead of farmers, they’d be getting near universal applause.

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Carly Fiorina missed yesterday’s GOP forum supposedly due to “travel issues.” Hmm. Maybe Carly missed a flight while trying hard to figure out which Wild Card NFL team came from the state with the earliest primary, so she could say even though she lives in California she was rooting for them?

 

Awful miss for Blair Walsh on what would have been his fourth field goal of the night, which would have probably won the game for the Vikings. But okay, four field goal attempts?! If Minnesota’s offense gets the ball into the end zone ONCE that kick is unnecessary. ‪#‎plentyofblametogoaround‬

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Donald Trump today said he takes being compared to P.T.Barnum as a compliment. And indeed, the Donald isn’t aiming to “fool all of the people all of the time”, just over 50% or a plurality in the election.

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Donald Trump is ramping up his birther attacks now on Ted Cruz. Once again, the Donald should be careful, seems pretty unlikely that furry thing that lives on his head was born in the U.S.

 

The President of Volkswagen said “We are not a criminal brand.” A criminal brand, no, a band of criminals, maybe.

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Bus to hell time.   So a personal foul made the difference in setting up the Steelers’ game winning field goal.  Any other women find it ironic that alleged rapist wins a playoff game because another man was penalized for a stupid brutal act? ‪#‎PITvsCIN‬

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Bungled

January 9, 2016

Nothing is certain but death, taxes, and the  Bengals finding a way to lose in the playoffs. ‪

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Silver lining dept: Suppose at least the Reds, who were up 2-0 and needed just one win in three home games to beat the SF Giants in the 2012 NLDS, are off the hook for the most crushing loss in modern Cincinnati sports history

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Both teams had serious issues holding onto the football in rain. Where are the ‪#‎Patriots‬ ball boys when you need them? ‪#‎PITvsCIN‬

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Happiest football fans not in Pittsburgh tonight have to be fans of the Denver Broncos. ‪#‎twosuckyteams‬ ‪#‎PITvsCIN‬

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Two weeks ago, the Denver Broncos were down 14-0 at half time to the Cincinnati Bengals and almost out of the playoffs. Now, watching the Pittsburgh-Cincinnati game, and with Big Ben possibly out, got to wonder -maybe God really does want Peyton to retire with one more ring.

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Roger Goodell apparently said in a report to all NFL teams that stadium solutions in San Diego, Oakland & St. Louis were “unsatisfactory” and “inadequate,” and that he would not block any of the teams’ relocating. Did anyone doubt that would be his deci$$$$$ion?

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Watching former Cleveland QB Brian Hoyer’s  day for the Texans today makes you realize why the Browns took a chance on Johnny Manziel.

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Thinking today ‪#‎AlexSmith‬ is just feeling brokenhearted about being booted to the ‪#‎Chiefs‬ from the ‪#‎49ers‬ in favor of ‪#‎ColinKaepernick‬.

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Steve Deberg, Joe Montana, Steve Bono, Elvis Grbac, Alex Smith…. so how long does it take until Colin Kaepernick resurrects his career in Kansas City? ‪#‎49ers‬ ‪#‎Chiefs‬

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So people said the Stanford Band’s halftime Rose Bowl performance was offensive but no one has a problem with children watching football seeing multiple erectile dysfunction commercials?

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So some discussion on whether or not we should extradite “El Chapo” to the U.S. Seems reasonable enough to me if we can make a deal that Mexico keeps Ethan Couch?

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Affluenza” mom Tonya Couch’s lawyers “We would like to thank Sheriff Dee Anderson for taking time out of his busy day serving as this county’s chief law enforcement officer to personally escort a 5’1”, 110 pound handcuffed and leg shackled female who was guarded by at least 2 armed deputies yesterday.”
Ah, sarcasm directed at the sheriff, and complaining about the jail accommodations. This is going to go well. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

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In Germany, police were able to reunite an American woman with her $2.7 million violin after she accidentally left it on a train. Think I’m not going to feel so bad the next time I forget my sunglasses.

 

Apparently there will be a lot more security at the College Football championship game Monday than there will be at the Super Bowl. Don’t suppose there’s any correlation with the fact that the BCS game will be in Arizona, which has some of the most lenient gun laws in the country….

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In Germany, police were able to reunite an American woman with her $2.7 million violin after she accidentally left it on a train. Think I’m not going to feel so bad the next time I forget my sunglasses.

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Ted Cruz suggested on Friday that Hillary Clinton be given a “spanking” by voters. Is Cruz trying to appeal to that off-neglected kinky vote?

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At a GOP forum today in South Carolina the candidates basically all agreed that government could not end poverty and they were against a culture of dependency. So of course in the spirit of helping people get ahead then they are all in favorite of education, child care programs, free mental health care and birth control, right?

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Brilliant line from reader Frank W. on a guess for what date  El Chapo might escape yet again from prison.  “Dibs on Feb. 2 in the pool.”

(yeah, took me a few seconds.)

 

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Born lucky?

January 9, 2016

“Star Wars: The Force Awakens” has now made Harrison Ford the highest-grossing actor in US box office history. Of course, the way this franchise is going, #2 might be the guy who plays Chewbacca.

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Florida congressman Alan Grayson says he will sue over Canadian-born Ted Cruz’s eligibility to be President if Cruz wins the GOP presidential nomination. And somewhere in D.C.Barack Obama is just giggling.

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Justin Bieber was kicked out of the archaeological site, Tulum, after he reportedly showed up with beer cans, tried to climb off-limits ruins, and took a selfie with his underpants down. Following upon the antics of Ethan Couch, Mexico’s going to start thinking seriously about that border fence. ‪#‎affluenza‬

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The “Affluenza” teen’s mom Tonya Couch has according to a Texas sheriff, “expressed a slight displeasure about her accommodations” in jail. “I feel so sorry for her,” said absolutely, positively, nobody.

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Texas Governor Greg Abbott now wants to amend the U.S. Constitution so that states can ignore the Federal government. Fine, does that also mean the Feds are off the hook for those states’ disaster relief?

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Prolia, a drug to fight osteoporosis in post-menopausal women, does television commercials with the usual laundry-list of fine print warnings. Including this one – “do not take Prolia if you are pregnant or trying to become pregnant.” ‪#‎whythereisnosatire‬

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The stock market just had its worst week ever to start a year. But the jobs report said the U.S. added 2.65 million jobs in 2015, its 2nd best year since 1999. So I think I’ve figured it out: The former is all Obama’s fault, the latter had nothing to do with him

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A man who ate nothing but Chipotle for 186 days says he has cut back to occasional meals there now. Who knew, these days McDonald’s seems like the healthy option?

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Chris Christie, who in 1995 campaigned for NJ State Senate as a supporter of an assault weapons ban. Now he says he’s “changed his mind.”
You know, I’d believe these folks a little more if they ever changed their minds in a way that didn’t put them more in line with their party’s base.

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DeSean Jackson on the Eagles’ firing coach Chip Kelly: “I’m a firm believer that bad karma comes back on you.” And so will Ms. Karma make sure Kelly ends up with the 49ers next?

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As of Jan 1, licensed gun owners in Texas can now openly carry guns into state mental hospitals. Your move, Florida. ‪#‎whatcouldpossiblygowrong‬

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#ElChapo‬ has been caught again in Mexico. Too soon to start a pool on the date of his next jail break?

 

But really, so they are putting El Chapo back into the exact last jail he escaped from? Even in Florida they are saying “Are you nuts?”

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Maine Governor Paul LePage, ranting about Maine’s drug problem and blaming traffickers: “These are guys with the name D-Money, Smoothie, Shifty … they come from Connecticut and NY, they come up here, they sell their heroin, they go back home ..half the time they impregnate a young, white girl before they leave, which is a real sad thing because then we have another issue we have to deal with down the road.”

Wow., that’s offensive enough you have to wonder if LePage has dreams of being Trump’s running mate.

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A cold day…

January 7, 2016

 

The Minnesota Vikings are warning their fans that temperatures are expected to hit a high of 1 degree on Sunday. And Green Bay fans are thinking “1 degree? We could wear shorts.”

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Lots of expert predictions on this weekend’s NFL playoff games. And we should listen to all those experts because they all predicted the hosts for these games would be Houston, Cincinnati, Minnesota and Washington?!

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So now Johnny Manziel has been cited for driving with expired license plates. Even JaMarcus Russelll is saying “Dude, get it together.”.

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The Tampa Bay Buccaneers fired Lovie Smith, who was their third coach in five years. Somewhere even George Steinbrenner is thinking, “Jeez, show a little patience.”

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Missed the ‪#‎Powerball‬ numbers last night by six. And I didn’t even play.

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The next Powerball lottery jackpot will approach $700 million, resulting in turn millions of new players.  Because $400 million just doesn’t buy what it used to?

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House Speaker Paul Ryan on what the GOP needs to do to win: “We have to show people what our principles are and how we apply those principles to the problems of the day to offer people real solutions”
And most of the Presidential candidates are going “Principles?”

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One big problem faced by the the ‪#‎SF49ers‬ in their coaching search – any coach who is smart enough for the job, is probably also smart enough not to take it. ‪#‎trainwreck‬

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Since their spring semester has started, Clemson asked for and got an NCAA waiver from a rule today which prevents “in-session” schools from practicing or holding team meetings for more than four hours per day or 20 hours per week. The school said players will miss class “only with professor approval.” And of course if any professor denies approval it would only be a coincidence if that professor is denied tenure.

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A man handed a Bradenton hospital employee a wrapped burrito he said was for a patient. The employee checked and found that inside the burrito was a syringe of heroin. Back on your game, Florida. ‪#‎andyouthoughtguacamolewasaddicting‬?

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A man handed a Bradenton hospital employee a wrapped burrito he said was for a patient. The employee checked and found that inside the burrito was a syringe of heroin. Back on your game, Florida. ‪#‎andyouthoughtguacamolewasaddicting‬

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House Speaker Paul Ryan said that Obama’s executive actions on guns were “a distraction” and that the President should be focused on fighting terrorism. But hey now, that 62nd repeal attempt for Obamacare, THAT was important.

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Interesting that ‪#‎JohnMcCain‬ stated strongly that ‪#‎BarackObama‬ was an American but he’s not so sure about ‪#‎TedCruz‬

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Hillary Clinton, asked this week about extra-terrestrials, said “I think we may have been visited already” by aliens. “We don’t know for sure.” Heck, for all we know, one or two of them may be running for President.

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From my funny friend Jerry Perisho “Ken Griffey, Jr. was voted into the Baseball Hall of Fame. On his way to the podium, he pulled a hamstring and was placed on the disabled list.”

 

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