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Sing it.

February 16, 2016

Not sure what makes me feel older at Grammys, the “in memoriams” or all these major acts I have never heard of.

 

You know it’s bad when the ‪#‎SuperBowl‬ halftime show had better audio than the ‪#‎GRAMMYs‬

 

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#‎Hamilton‬ wins Grammy for best musical theater album. Good for them. but this could really make tickets hard to get.

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#‎TaylorSwift‬‘s “Out of the Woods” was received so well at tonight’s ‪#‎GRAMMYs‬ she’ll need to find a new boyfriend to break up with to top it.

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For all those who say that Peyton Manning is getting a pass from the media over his past sexual assault allegation because he is white, I give you the adulation also now given at the end of his career to Kobe Bryant.

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Dylan McCaffrey, a QB and the younger brother of Christian, has committed to Michigan. Good for Jim Harbaugh. But an important note – Stanford didn’t make him an offer.

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Sign of the apocalypse? USA today is projecting the ‪#‎Cubs‬ to win 101 games.#

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Anyone but me want to see ‪#‎DonaldTrump‬ & ‪#‎KanyeWest‬ try to get together and see if their egos will fit in the same room?

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Hoping those folks who claimed to be offended by Beyonce at ‪#‎SuperBowl‬ are listening to ‪#‎GRAMMYs‬ tonight with picture off. #seriouslyskimpyclothing

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Kanye West says he’s $53 million in debt. If true “I feel so sorry for him,” said nobody.

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So if Kanye West’s really $53 million in debt will he declare bankruptcy? If so, maybe that will be the first step for Kanye to show he’s serious about running for President.

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Who says Californians don’t have weather problems in February? Why, after leaving my car in a shopping center parking lot today for an hour I had to turn the fan on driving home to cool it down….

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So Antonin Scalia was reportedly found with a pillow over his head, but looking “peaceful” and his family waived an autopsy. ‪#‎BlameObama‬ conspiracy theories in 3-2-1…..

 

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Jeb Bush is taking some grief for having his brother campaign for him in South Carolina. But after watching recent GOP debates, have to figure a lot of Americans are thinking W. doesn’t look so bad by comparison. ‪#‎maybedumbbutnotbatshitcrazy‬

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Got to love targeted advertising. Clicked on a story about major Comcast outages across the country, and then almost immediately got a Yahoo ad to switch to Comcast.

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Even Anthony Weiner is beginning to think that ‪#‎EliotSpitzer‬ has serious issues with women.

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Marco Rubio’s latest ad referenced Reagan’s 1984 “Morning in America” ad. Except the footage was from…. Vancouver! Is Rubio trying to be Ted Cruz’s running mate?

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Apparently the Democrats don’t want to debate on Fox News. I don’t know. Seems like a fine opportunity for both Hillary and Bernie to show they’re tough enough to stand up to Megyn Kelly.

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Categories: debate jokes, GOP jokes, Uncategorized
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All about love

February 15, 2016

The best Valentine’s Day present for many of us is the realization that pitchers and catchers report this week. ‪#‎SpringTraining‬ ‪#‎MLB‬

 

Watching the NBA All Star game had to wonder   –  Does Kobe Bryant have a fatal disease or something?

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NBA All Star Game is over. So ‪#‎NBA‬ fans who enjoy games with no defense will just have to go back to watching the ‪#‎Lakers‬

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There actually was a spread on the NBA  All Star Game. And if you know what it is, you just MIGHT have a gambling problem.

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Since the slam-dunk and 3-point shooting contests are so popular with viewers, maybe here’s a solution to the Pro Bowl: forget the game, and just get the top players together for some skills contests. And maybe the No Fun League for one day could let players come up with their “best touchdown celebration.”

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Denver Broncos safety Shiloh Keo was busted for DUI in Idaho, making him the third NFL player to be arrested this year. Once again, the league is proving they can keep making headlines in the offseason.

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A T & T winner Vaughn Taylor made the field Monday in  Pebble Beach as an alternate. Put that in a movie & critics would say it wasn’t realistic.

And Taylor certainly “needed” it more than Mickelson.  But Lefty at 45 remains one of the most entertaining (and beloved) golfers of our time.

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New SF Giants outfielder Denard Span told an interviewer in 2013 that he was afraid of birds and fish. “You know, I’m okay with someone throwing a fastball at my head But a bird flies at my head, I’m more terrified.”. Which could present interesting challenges for Bruce Bochy in the late innings at AT&T park. ‪#‎gullpower‬

 

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As Ted Cruz continues to insist he will filibuster anyone Obama nominates to the Supreme Court, has it occurred to him that our cerebral and thoughtful President, himself a former law school professor, might pick someone Cruz would like a lot better than, not even a possible President Sanders or Clinton, but a President Trump?

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If these GOP candidates really want to prove how much they love the 2nd amendment, why don’t they agree all to be armed for the next debate? ‪#‎mustseeTV‬

 

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A 45 minute lockdown at Arkansas State University was lifted after ‘gunmen’ on campus turned out to be student actors filming a video. Once again Darwin is thinking “Missed it by THAT much.” ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

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Neal makes an potentially fun  point,

Ted Cruz’s campaign is dealing with some fallout because they accidentally used a porn actress in on of their commercials. …

“Too bad she didn’t get a selfie with the candidate.”

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RIP from RBG

February 14, 2016

In the midst of all the craziness, this comment from Ruth Bader Ginsberg on Antonin Scalia is worth repeating. “I disagreed with most of what he said, but I loved the way he said it.”

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So at ‪#‎Scalia‬‘s funeral will Clarence Thomas honor his late colleague by not saying a few words?

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#‎TedCruz‬ says the next President should nominate ‪#‎Scalia‬‘s replacement. So congrats to all those who had “about 10 minutes” in the pool.
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Wind chill in liberal Massachusetts tonight down to at least 35 below. Maybe some in the GOP shouldn’t have said it would be a cold day in hell when Obama would get to nominate another Supreme Court justice.

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Padmanabhan Srikanth “Sri” Srinivasan – google him. Confirmed 97-0 on the US Court of Appeals. Obama could make things very difficult both for the GOP and reporters/copy editors.

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So all these GOP yahoos demanding we wait until the election and to let the next President pick the next Supreme Court justice, does this mean that if a Republican is elected, they think he should not be able to fill any potential SCOTUS opening in the 2nd half of his term?

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We interrupt politics for a bulletin from Pebble Beach. Phil Mickleson is leading the AT&T Pro-Am by 2 strokes after 3 rounds. Even Jamie Moyer is thinking “That dude is old.”

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Jenrry Mejia has been banned permanently from MLB for his 3rd PED suspension. Clearly Mejia should have focused on trying to play NFL football, where he’d be back again after a few games.

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More of the “stuff” you can’t make up: In New York, Central Park’s ice festival was canceled today, due to extreme cold.
(And in Minnesota they’re just giggling.)

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Kentucky men’s basketball coach John Calipari was ejected two minutes and 26 seconds into today’s game against South Carolina. 146 seconds?!! That’s only about as long as his players spend in class.

 

As a retirement gift, Michael Jordan gave Kobe Bryant a full set of all 30 sneakers released so far in the Air Jordan line. A very nice gift. Although at this point Kobe almost has enough money to have been able to buy them himself.

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For that matter, will those in the GOP who say a president should not be able to nominate a Supreme Court judge in the last year of his term, also say that a president cannot negotiate important deals and treaties etc in that last year. Leaderofthefreeworldforthefirsthalfofhisorherterm‬?

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Mitch McConnell -“The American people should have a voice in the selection of their next Supreme Court Justice. Therefore, this vacancy should not be filled until we have a new President.” Uh, didn’t the American people exercise their voice by electing President Obama? Twice.

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Ted Cruz’s campaign is dealing with some fallout because they accidentally used a porn actress in on of their commercials. Such an ad would never be released by Hillary Clinton’s campaign – Bill would recognize the actress first.

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Watching these debates makes many Americans wish that Jed Bartlett was president. Heck, watching these debates makes many Americans wish Frank Underwood was president.

 

Comparing tonight’s GOP debate to a kindergarten playground is an insult to kindergarteners.

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Somewhere Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders had to be watching this ‪#‎GOPDebate‬ and just giggling.

 

 

 

 

So will those in the GOP who say a president should not be able to nominate a Supreme Court judge in the last year of his term, also say that a president cannot negotiate important deals and treaties etc in the last year of his term? ‪#‎Leaderofthefreeworldforthefirsthalfofhisorherterm‬?

Categories: debate jokes, GOP jokes, Uncategorized
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The price of everything.

February 12, 2016

Mets reliever Jenrry Mejia has been permanently suspended by MLB after his third PED suspension, the all since April 2015. Being caught three times in a year? That’s not a suspension for PEDs, that’s a suspension for stupidity.

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Jim Harbaugh and his staff racked up $136,000.in private jet costs during a two week recruiting window this January. And if Michigan beats Ohio State, school officials and alums will consider that a bargain.

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Louisiana is facing a $940 million deficit, New Gov. John Bel Edwards has said without tax increases, there will be massive layoffs and canceled classes at state campuses. Meaning that students attending those universities “will receive a grade of incomplete, many students will not be able to graduate and student athletes across the state at those schools will be ineligible to play next semester. That means you can say farewell to college football next fall.”
Okay, not sure his future political aspirations, but THIS is a man who knows how to play hardball.

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Bryce Harper, asked about a potential $400 million contract, responded “don’t sell me short.” So does that mean Harper is expecting to be a Yankee or Dodger some day?

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Regarding the Mavericks surfing championship.  I’m all for choice but how many sports make moms wish their kids did some safer sport like football?

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The Parents of former Jackie Robinson West baseball players have sued Little League and ESPN, saying they knew some children might be ineligible but “chose to ignore and/or deliberately conceal these facts in order to garner higher ratings, publicity, and money.”
So even though the team was caught cheating with residency, but still got a White House and MLB World Series trip out of the deal, this suit says they were wronged. And we wonder why Americans hate lawyers.

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Kanye West now says about his tirade against Taylor Swift that “bitch” is a term of endearment. Right, I’m sure he calls Kim that all the time….

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Just to prove the U.S. doesn’t have a monopoly on political circuses, I bring you this story from Japan, where the first MP who tried to take paternity leave has resigned. After a magazine broke the story that during his wife’s pregnancy, he had an affair with a bikini model….

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A Florida woman was charged with child neglect after her dad found her naked, drunk (.305 blood alcohol level, not a typo) and unconscious while she was babysitting a young child. ‪#‎ifonlyshewasarmed‬

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In San Francisco, a place called Equator Coffee was selling cups of coffee made from Finca Sophia beans for $15. And they sold out. And we wonder why other countries hate us?

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Former Virginia Gov. Jim Gilmore dropped out of the 2016 Presidential race. Shocking millions of Americans who had no idea he was running.

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So Marco Rubio, who has spoken only eight times on the Senate floor since January, 2015, still spends $60,000 a year for a speechwriter. Isn’t this like Donald Trump employing a fact-checker?

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The Pope today in Cuba had a meeting with the head of the Russian Orthodox church, their first conversation in almost 1,000 years. So maybe there’s hope for Democrats and Republicans.

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Barry Manilow, 72, has had to cancel concerts after he was told not to speak or sing for a while after throat surgery. “What a shame” said millions of women and gay men and about three of their spouse

 

 

 

From Marc Ragovin  “So W will be campaigning for Jeb in South Carolina. I hope for Jeb’s sake he shows more brotherly love than Eli Manning.”

Categories: baseball jokes, GOP jokes, Uncategorized
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Signs of the times?

February 11, 2016

The NBA is discussing a proposal during the All-Star break that would let teams sell ONE corporate logo on their uniforms for the 2017-18 season. Meaning by about the 2020-21 season the uniforms should all look like NASCAR’s.

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So Jeremy Affeldt is joining the CSN broadcast crew.  Can’t wait until the first time the former SF Giants pitcher second guesses Bruce Bochy’s pitching change decisions. ‪

SF Giants fans who remember Affeldt’s creative stints on the DL hope that the network offers good medical insurance.

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Some discussion on where RGIII may end up next year. Well, the Redskins QB may have been disappointing but RGIII should be thankful to Johnny Manziel for making him look like a good bet by comparison.

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Jason Castro today became the first MLB player to lose in arbitration this year.. He had asked for $5.2 million, but the arbitrator sided with the Astros, and gave him only $5 million.
You know baseball salaries are in another world when the immediate reaction is, “only $200,000, why couldn’t they settle?”

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Scientists say they have detected gravitational waves, which were a major component of Einstein’s theory of relativity. Waiting for the GOP rebuttal.

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Ben Carson – “I’m getting a lot of pressure to make sure I stay in the race.” No doubt, primarily from comedy writers who lost both Fiorina and Christie in the same day.

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Anyone but me think it’s a bit strange that the guy who is saying “Make America Great Again” is a multi-billionaire who consistently has had America be pretty great for him.

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Donald Trump attacked the NY Daily News after it put him on their cover as a clown, saying it was a failing paper. So now the NYDN has a new hashtag, ‪#‎Trumpfails‬, and started a “brief history of Trump’s many failures.” Get some popcorn folks, this could be fun.

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Patriots owner Robert Kraft to a TV reporter “I happened to see Archie (Manning)…. He has two sons who have won two Super Bowls (each) But with all due respect, we have one son who has won four.” Ah, it’s this sort of thing that makes the Patriots so beloved outside New England. ‪#‎stayclassy‬

 

 

The Raiders announced they have signed a lease to stay in Oakland for the 2016 season. Translation, nobody else wants them.

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Kanye West, in lyrics about Taylor Swift – ” I made that that B—H famous.” Hard to believe it’s possible but Kanye might almost make the Kardashians look classy by comparison.

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Marco Rubio says he broke a tooth chewing on a frozen Twix Bar. And somewhere W. is thinking “And they gave me grief on a pretzel?”

 

 

After a summit in Munich, John Kerry has announced a deal for a ceasefire in Syria “within a week.” ‪#‎IblameObama‬

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You call this a debate? Where is the name-calling, where is the crazy talk, where are the clowns? ‪#‎DemDebate‬

 

The U.S election system really has gotten corrupt. Why, we can’t even vote on the American Idol semi-finalists anymore. Viewers won’t be able to vote until the last six weeks. ‪#‎isnothingsacred‬?

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From T.C.  “Nike is celebrating its Jordan Brand’s 30th anniversary this weekend. The latest models will sell for $200. This compared to only $100 when they were first introduced. The company  blames the price increase on raises that have brought their Chinese children factory workers up to 35 cents per hour “

Categories: baseball jokes, cellphone jokes, debate jokes, Uncategorized
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Slip sliding away.

February 10, 2016

 

The SF Giants this year will unveil a statue of Gaylord Perry. It will be the first statue ever where any pigeons who try to land will end up sliding off.

 

Former 49ers WR Josh Morgan, currently a free agent, reportedly sustained “non-life threatening injuries” when he accidentally shot himself last month. He has been charged with misdemeanor reckless use of a firearm. Is Morgan trying to prove he still belongs in the NFL?

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“I’m a pretty good winner. I’m a terrible loser. And I rub it in pretty good when I win. But as soon as I lose… I don’t know. It’s like I wish I had a punching bag nearby sometimes.”

More Cam Newton. Nope, Tom Brady on 60 minutes in 2005.

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The story is out that Johnny Manziel showed up either really drunk or hungover at a team meeting and Cleveland covered it up by saying their QB had a concussion. Looking like the Browns aren’t just in need of football coaching, they need an Al-Anon meeting. ‪#‎enablers‬

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The California Coastal Commission is trying to require that the Mavericks surfing competition invite women. The question, can they find qualified women with a death wish?

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Burger King is going to start selling hot dogs later this month. For all those who thought their menu was just too healthy.

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The CDC has just confirmed a link between the Zika virus and microcephaly in Brazilian babies who died. Which could be bad news for tropical vacation destinations. Though maybe it won’t deter Republicans who don’t believe in science anyway.

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Apparently Amazon wrote a zombie apocalypse clause into its open-source software terms of service. Did someone there presage Trump’s New Hampshire victory?

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#‎ChrisChristie‬ is heading home. And many in New Jersey are thinking “Isn’t there any way we can close a bridge into the state or something?

Meanwhile the other GOP candidates in the race, except Marco Rubio, are thinking “Isn’t there a way they can get Christie into one last debate?”

And this weekend temperatures in NJ are expected to fall to near zero. Maybe Christie shouldn’t have said “Hell will freeze over before I quit this campaign.”

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#‎CarlyFiorina‬ has officially dropped out of the Presidential race. So is she officially now her own last HP layoff?

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Ben Carson says he will not drop out of the GOP Presidential primary race. Apparently he doesn’t want to disappoint both his supporters.

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All day long, Facebook  has been giving me this message “Add your phone number to help secure your account and more.” Yeah, it’s that “and more” I’m worried about. ‪#‎nothanks‬

 

 

Kansas senator Roy Blunt got three student deferments during the Vietnam war. Which is fine, except he’s been saying he got lucky with a number “in the low 300s, and was never called.” His staff said that “poor memories” may have contributed to the “confusion.”
Where’s the outrage from other Senate hawks? Oh, I forgot, IOKIYR

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Some are calling already for an NTSB investigation into why Royal Caribbean sailed their “Anthem of the Seas” into a massive storm. Guessing most travelers are happy about the idea – or at least they will be until their cruise line cancels THEIR future trip based on possible weather.

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Wonder if the Anthem of the Seas captain will claim someone pushed him into the storm?

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After the NY Daily News cover showed Donald Trump as a clown and called his supporters “Brain dead zombies,” the Donald today called them a “totally failing paper” that is “going to be closing soon, I’m pretty sure.,” and attacked the Daily News on Twitter. Well, if nothing else, this controversy should sell a LOT of papers.

 

 

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Not taken for granite.

February 9, 2016

New Hampshire results are in. So now be know even more about what voters in small white states think.

But first some non-primary jokes:

 

Quicken Loans Super Bowl ad had the idea that people could get a mortgage on their phones, and asked: “If it could be that easy, wouldn’t more people buy homes?” Guessing they won’t run the ad in theaters before “The Big Short?”

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If we needed any more proof that Jim Harbaugh is turning Michigan back into a powerhouse, the SEC has asked the NCAA to stop the Wolverines practicing in Florida over Spring Break, saying Harbaugh is taking his players “free time away.” Right, because the SEC is SO concerned about student-athletes’ well being….

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Meteorologists are now saying Royal Caribbean should not have sailed their Anthem of the Seas ship into hurricane force winds as the storm was “well-forecast.” So guessing ambulance-chasing lawyers and class-action lawsuits in three, two, one…..

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Disney’s “Frozen” is coming to Broadway in 2018. And so millions more American parents of daughters who weren’t old enough for the 2013 movie will discover the soundtrack and start wishing they really could “Let it Go.”

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Rick Snyder was asked to speak before Congress on the Flint water crisis and declined, saying he has a budget meeting. Imagine how the GOP would react if Jennifer Granholm was still Governor of Michigan and declined such an invitation. Of course, if Granholm was still Governor we probably wouldn’t have the Flint water crisis.

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At a Trump rally, the Donald repeated a woman’s insult about Ted Cruz “She said he’s a pussy.” Prompting calls for an immediate apology, from cats.

 

Chris Christie didn’t do that well in New Hampshire. But thinking all GOP candidates not named Rubio owe him a thank-you gift. Maybe bridge mix?

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John Kasich tonight said “the light overcame the darkness of negative campaigning.” Translation, “if I start really gaining traction I’ll have my Super PAC do the negative campaigning for me.”

 

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John Kasich said of his campaign moving on from New Hampshire to South Carolina from “We’re going to be changing some snowshoes for some flip-flops and we’re going to go from fried clams to jambalaya.”
Jeez, Governor, it’s jambalaya is Louisiana, in South Carolina it’s “perloo.” Get your pandering straight.

 

 

Chris Christie said he’s going to “take a deep breath” and go home. Apparently he’s out of money. But the thought of the Governor quitting and going back to his state might bring a flood of donations. From New Jerseyans.

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So if today marks the end of the campaign, suppose it’s somehow apt that the happened on

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Last Democrat to win ‪#‎NewHampshire‬ primary and the Presidency in the same year? ‪#‎JimmyCarter‬

 

A subdued Marco Rubio “We did not do well on Saturday and so listen to this: That will never happen again.” Does that mean Rubio is dropping out of future debates?

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Donald Trump’s son Eric says that waterboarding is “quite frankly is no different than what happens on college campuses and frat houses every day.”
So just how many of the GOP candidates were frat boys anyway?

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The Daily Show’s Jessica Williams, responding to Rudy Giuliani’s whine that the Super Bowl halftime show should have “wholesome” entertainment “You’re right…The fans deserve wholesome entertainment: Like watching 300-pound men give each other concussions while a crowd cheers like extras in the movie Gladiator. So what is wrong with Beyoncé, everyone? Were you not entertained?”
Three word hashtag ‪#‎YouGoGirl‬

Categories: debate jokes, political jokes. election jokes, Uncategorized
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Entering a football free zone.

February 9, 2016

 

Donald Trump is saying now he would not have run for President if he owned an NFL team. Quick, can some one sell him one?

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So which was more disappointing yesterday for serious fans? The ‪#‎SuperBowl‬ game or the #SuperBowl commercials?

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Rudy Giuliani on Beyonce’s Super Bowl Show, which featured a tribute to “Black Lives Matter,” “I thought it was really outrageous that she used it as a platform to attack police officers who are the people who protect her and protect us.” Shocking – Giulani spoke an entire sentence without mentioning 9-11?!

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If everyone hadn’t gotten their knickers in such a knot, most of America wouldn’t have even realized there WAS a political message in Beyonce’s Super Bowl halftime show.

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Broncos safety T.J. Ward on the Panthers after the Super Bowl “They want to be famous. We want to be champions. They want to be rappers and backup dancers. We want to play football.”
Apparently no one told Ward about the concept of being a sore winner

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Last night showed Cam Newton has a lot to learn. For starters Marshawn Lynch could have taught him “I’m just here so I don’t get fined.”

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A bright note for fans of many other teams – Panthers and Broncos showed yesterday you don’t really need a quarterback to win a Super Bowl.  (Yes, Bears fans, there’s hope even with Jay Cutler.

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The best thing about after hearing the words “I’m presenting the Super Bowl trophy to….” is that soon we will be hearing the words “Pitchers and catchers report.”

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The Cal band played at halftime of yesterday’s Super Bowl. Which was exciting for Bears band members- especially since they aren’t likely to get the chance to play at halftime of a Rose Bowl

 

Jack in the Box says they will give away 1 million free hamburgers. To paraphrase Johnny Carson 40 or so years ago, wow, that’s almost 100 pounds of meat.

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Former NY Mayor Michael Bloomberg says he IS considering running for President in 2016. Because the car doesn’t have enough clowns already?

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The U.S Treasury department said 4,279 people renounced U.S. citizenship in 2015, a new record. Which will be a very small percentage of the total if Donald Trump somehow gets elected

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A Broncos fan, Justin Kerrigan, told an NBC reporter he had paid $21,000 for Super Bowl tickets but said “Don’t tell my wife.” Well, it’s a good thing no one watches NBC.

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Tomorrow is the New Hampshire primary, the first actual primary, not caucus, of the 2016 Presidential election. For the rest of us, we’re only 2 weeks away from the first voting on American Idol.

 

 

 

A Royal Caribbean cruise ship has turned around and is heading back to New Jersey after being caught in damaging hurricane force winds on its way to the Bahamas. CNN is torn between covering the ship’s return and the New Hampshire primary.

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Scene right out of “Airplane” at Houston Intercontinental Airport. Someone opens a door they shouldn’t and a siren and announcement comes on “A fire alarm has been activated, please evacuate the building. Use the stairs. Do not use the elevator”. With continual siren. This announcement competes with the United agent saying “This happens all the time, please remain seated, we have not confirmed an actual fire alarm.”. Half expected them to start arguing about the red zone and the white zone.

 

 

From Alex Kaseberg  “Last year, Tom Brady gave his Super Bowl MVP truck to the player who won the game for them, safety Malcolm Butler. So is Von Miller giving his truck to Cam Newton?”

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On the road to LI

February 7, 2016

 

So the last pass in the long career of ‪#‎PeytonManning‬ is complete for the 2 point conversion ‪#‎SuperBowl‬

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It was not, however, Peyton’s greatest game.  Somewhere ‪#‎Tebow‬ has to be thinking. “I could have been the winning QB in this ‪#‎SuperBowl‬.” ‪#‎defensewinschampionships‬

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Peyton didn’t say definitely after the game that he was retiring. But guessing Americans will have to watch “The People vs. OJ Simpson if they want to see more of a slow white Bronco.

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Super Bowl concessions prices for small drinks today: $12-15 for beer, and $15-25 wine. And Yankees fans are going “why so cheap?”

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So with all the hype on the commercials and the halftime show seemed like the only time for TV viewers to take a bathroom break without missing anything was when the Broncos are on offense.

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Meanwhile, anyone with the prop bet of ‪#‎Talib‬ being the ‪#‎SuperBowl‬ most-penalized player had to be chilling champagne in the first quarter.

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Several players on both teams had problems with the Levi’s Stadium  field today,  and the groundskeepers were seen replacing divots. Apparently “normally, the NFL trucks in grass from Alabama, but the league decided it was too far a haul to California.”

Well, of course, this is what happens when a non-profit puts together an event on a shoe-string budget.

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Cam Newton abruptly just quit the Super Bowl postgame conference. So Cam didn’t get a ring -maybe that performance got him a congratulatory phone call from Sarah Palin?

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Trump, “We’re the highest taxed country in the world.” With all due respect, Donald, the U.S. isn’t even the highest taxed country in North America.

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Donald Trump Saturday night “I would bring back waterboarding. And I would bring back a hell of a lot worse.” What, like making suspects listen to his speeches?

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From my funny friend Alex Kaseberg  “This Super Bowl 50 dropped the Roman Numerals. The only place you’re going to still see Roman Numerals is on Peyton Manning’s birth certificate.”

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Marco Rubio is getting slammed for repeating the nearly identical anti-Obama four times in last night’s debate. And Rick Perry said “Hey, give the guy points for counting to four.”

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Countdown

February 7, 2016

So Sunday night the pre-Super Bowl hype will be over. The pre-NFL draft hype starts Monday.

 

As of Saturday, Super Bowl ticket prices have fallen under $2,700. That’s cheaper than a Jeb Bush vote in Iowa.

 

So which has become a worse version of Groundhog Day – the never-ending Super Bowl pre game show, or yet another GOP debate?

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All these experts making Super Bowl predictions. And of course all of them predicted a Panthers Broncos matchup.

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Gregg Popovich gave a nice tribute to Kobe Bryant before game. After ‪#‎Lakers‬ came within 4 of ending ‪#‎spurs‬ streak he might take it back

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Playboy debuted their first non-nude issue. So now men really can say they read it for the articles.

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Affluenza teen Ethan Couch has been transferred to an adult jail. “I feel so sorry for him” said nobody.

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A shooting at a strip club in Tampa has left 1 dead and 7 injured. And wonder how many more injured when the police investigation resulted in wives finding out their husbands were there.

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A friend somehow by mistake got on a Ted Cruz mailing list; his fundraising letter rails against moderates like Mitt Romney and John McCain, and says “it has been my honor to fight on your behalf against the DC liberals (of both parties.)…”
Showing again why Senator Cruz is so “beloved” in the Senate.

 

Justin Bieber was seen tonight in San Francisco skateboarding around town. That’s it. Time to build that wall. But on the Canadian border.

 

Donald Trump Saturday night “I would bring back waterboarding. And I would bring back a hell of a lot worse.” What, like making suspects listen to his speeches?

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Donald Trump, complaining today on Jeb Bush using Barbara on the campaign trail. Adding Bush “had to bring in mommy to take a slap at me. Not nice!” On the other hand, Trump attacking Jeb and his campaign – isn’t it also not nice to pick on those on life support?

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Martin Shrreli says “The only thing I regret about my Congressional testimony is forgetting to bring my Nintendo DS’: Is this guy trying to be a big enough douchebag that he gets considered for a possible Ted Cruz cabinet?

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#‎LetCarlyDebate‬ is seriously trending on social media. Wonder how many of the posts are by Carly supporters and how many are by comedians.

 

 

 

From TC  on the 58% percent increase in NFL concussions in 2015 compared to 2014: “Due mostly to Seahawks fans after February’s Super Bowl slapping themselves on their foreheads.”

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All about growth?

February 5, 2016

A new UCLA study says that 54 million Americans whose BMI says they are overweight or obese are actually healthy. Well, that calls for a cookie.

 

Roger Goodell, defending football despite seven high school players dying this season said “There’s risk in life. There’s risk in sitting on the couch.” Wow, so must be a tough crowd around the potato chip bowl at Goodell’s house.

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Louisville has self-imposed a one year postseason ban on their men’s basketball team over their recruiting scandal involving prostitutes and strippers. Coach Rick Pitino called the news “a complete shock.” What, he was expecting 2-4 years?

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An Iowa state senator has introduced a bill that would prohibit three state universities from cooperating with Stanford University until Stanford publicly apologizes for the band’s “unsporting behavior” during halftime of the Rose Bowl. Wow. And we thought in Iowa that Trump was a sore loser.

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The latest winter storm apparently grounded Donald Trump’s airplane and caused him to miss a postpone a New Hampshire rally. So maybe Mother Nature is a fan of Megyn Kelly?

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Brett Favre said he “would never bet against Peyton Manning”‘ in a Super Bowl. Well, until Brett changes his mind tomorrow.

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If it’s just about Megyn Kelly and nothing sexist, maybe as an alternative Trump would agree to participate in a debate moderated by Rachel Maddow?

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No Bill Clinton at last night’s debate. Well, it is Super Bowl week. Wonder if he volunteered personally to oversee the San Francisco prostitution task force?

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Some complained that the scheduled 90 minute Democratic debate went a little over two hours. Well, at least Biden decided not to run. If he had they might still be going.

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So now it appears that staffers for Condoleezza Rice and Colin Powell sent classified information from non-work accounts. Ah, but those who might make something of it have forgotten the cardinal rule IOKIYR.

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So Bernie and Hillary argued tonight on which of them is the most “progressive.” Does that mean the GOP candidates are arguing over who is the most “regressive?”

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U.S. unemployment has fallen to 4.9%, the lowest in 8 years. ‪#‎IblameObama‬

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Barbara Bush said she’s “sick of Trump.” As are many Americans. But apparently we’re sick of Bushes too.

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Going, going, gone?

February 4, 2016

Archie Manning says he has talked to Peyton and he is not sure if his son will retire or not after the Super Bowl. “The first time is the hardest,” responded Brett Favre.

 

Reports are now that Johnny Manziel struck his ex-girlfriend “several times” at a Dallas hotel last weekend. So Manziel clearly still has dreams of being signed by the Cowboys?

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The Raiders are apparently going to play an NFL game in Mexico in 2016. At the thought of the “Black Hole” coming to watch, Mexico immediately began taking bids on wall construction.

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Martin Shkreli apparently decided to stop answering questions and just smile and smirk today as he testified in front of a Congressional committee about price gouging with a life-saving drug. Got to figure members of Congress actually enjoyed having him there – Shikreli is one of the few people who make them look good by comparison.

 

McDonald’s is now giving away books in their Happy Meals. And millions of American children looked up from their phones and said “What are books?”

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Whatever happens in the 2016 election today’s Warriors’ White House visit marks the end of an era – a President who actually knows what he’s talking about with basketball.

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Maurice White, founder of Earth, Wind and Fire, has died at the age of 74. Maybe April is the cruelest month, but January and February 2016 have not been kind to aging rockers.

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The Des Moines Register is calling for a complete audit of the Iowa Democratic Caucuses as Hillary’s win was so close. Forget those coin tosses, the Clinton campaign clearly should have spread the rumor Sanders was going home.

 

Megyn Kelly will be anchoring the next Fox News GOP debate on March 3. You know it’s a strange election season when Fox has the high road.

 

 

Despite several GOP requests to include her, Carly Fiorina will be left out of the next debate. I can understand why the other candidates might want her on stage – Carly makes the rest of them seem nicer by compariso

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Now a desperate Jeb Bush is pulling out all the stops, with a campaign ad featuring…. his brother George W? Proving once again that Jeb has no business running for President.

 

#‎DemDebate‬ Hillary Clinton wants to streamline programs that are “duplicative and redundant.” Well, of course she does does.

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Meanwhile,  Jimmy Carter, at 91, our best and perhaps still sharpest ex-President. When asked in England if he had to pick”Trump or Cruz. – “I think I would choose Trump, which may surprise some of you,The reason is, Trump has proven already he’s completely malleable.I don’t think he has any fixed (positions) he’d go the White House and fight for. On the other hand, Ted Cruz is not malleable. He has far right-wing policies he’d pursue if he became president.”

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Dropping like flies

February 4, 2016

The Broncos’ Peyton Manning admitted being told he will probably need hip replacement surgery in future. Fortunately, he should have access to the best paleontologists.

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Jeb Bush’s Super Pac spent $14,900,000 in Iowa and he got 5,238 votes. That’s $2844 per vote. With that kind of overspending maybe Jeb should forget being President and aim for being GM of the LA Dodgers.

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Ah, Super Bowl media week. So Cam Newton was asked if he was “the Lebron James of the NFL?” He basically replied, “Why can’t Lebron be the Cam Newton of the NBA?”

Surprised actually that Cam didn’t respond “What, you think I’m only the second best player now in the NFL?”

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A story has emerged now that in 1998, John Elway turned down a deal, that amongst other things, would have let him buy 10% of the Denver Broncos for $15 million. And here Stanford fans think Elway’s biggest mistake was in clock management at the end of Big Game 1982.

( For non-Stanford fans, Elway called a time out with 8 seconds left before what he expected would be a game-winning field goal. Had he taken it down to less, the FG would have run out the clock. And Stanford would never have had to kick to Cal, and their own band…)

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The lawyer for Deborah Jeane Palfrey, the D.C. Madam, who hung herself in 2008 after being convicted for racketeering and prostitution charges, wants to release her black book naming over 800 clients. And he claims it could elect the Presidential election.
Well, gosh, and things have been so dull up to this point….

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Rand Paul today became the latest to drop out of the 2016 Presidential race, saying. “It’s been an incredible honor to run a principled campaign for the White House.” “Principled campaign?” Proving again he had no chance from the start. ‪#‎wedontneednostinkingprinciples‬

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Rick Santorum is the latest to drop out of the GOP Presidential race. Shocking millions of Americans who thought he quit running after 2012.

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Trump has now tweeted that “Based on the fraud committed by Senator Ted Cruz during the Iowa caucus either a new election should take place or Cruz results nullified.”
So all those who were worried that Trump’s gracious and reasonable speech Monday night signaled the circus might be winding down – uh, not exactly.

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Although the email has emerged sent by Ted Cruz’s deputy campaign director “The press is reporting that Dr. Ben Carson is taking time off from the campaign trail after Iowa and making a big announcement next week. Please inform any Carson caucus goers of this news and urge them to caucus for Cruz.”
It’s this sort of classy behavior that has earned Ted the title “Most Hated Man in the Senate.”

 

Someone in Southern California who won a $63 million Lottery Jackpot last August will lose it all if they don’t claim the money by Feb 4. Heck, and most of feel badly when we misplace a bill or a check

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Almost winning?

February 2, 2016

Can’t wait for the Steve Harvey interview with Donald Trump on his Iowa Caucus win last night.

 

The House today failed to override President Obama’s veto of a bill to repeal Obamacare. So maybe Paul Ryan actually has a sense of humor in scheduling the vote on Groundhog Day?

 

Almost all signs of the SF 49ers have been removed from Levi’s Stadium for Super Bowl weekend. Except for the red seats.  But that won’t be a problem. Unlike for most of the late season 49ers games, on Sunday those seats will actually have fans sitting in them.

 

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Colin Kaepernick apparently wants out with the SF 49ers to play for the Jets. This is like an elephant trying to abandon Barnum & Bailey’s for Ringling Brothers

 

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The Broncos have sent rookie safety Ryan Murphy home after he was detained and questioned as part of a prostitution sting today. Really? You’re part of a a Super Bowl team and you can’t even find sex for free? ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬ ‪#‎rookiemistake‬

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The Cleveland Browns will apparently release Johnny Manziel in March. So much for his prediction of “wrecking this league.” Looks like what Manziel was really good at was wrecking his career.

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The CDC now says that any woman of childbearing age not using birth control should abstain from alcohol. Uh, isn’t drinking how many babies get conceived in the first place?

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Hillary Clinton apparently won six Iowa precincts by coin toss. So maybe that answers one question “Whatever happened to those Patriots ballboys?”

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Groundhog Day happening at about the same time as the Iowa caucuses is very confusing. So did that furry thing that lives on Trump’s head see his shadow or not?

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Just when we were about to utter the magic words “Who cares any more about Iowa?” comes the news that Bernie Sanders is not ready to concede. So maybe all those reporters better not check out of their rooms yet.

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Marissa Mayer says Yahoo will lay off 15% of its global workforce and close five offices. And this plan “will enable us to accelerate Yahoo’s transformation.” So sounds like Ms. Mayer is well on her way to following Carly Fiorina into politics.

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So the Sacramento Kings nixed a Chinese New Year t-shirt giveaway because it referenced “Year of the Monkey” and had a purple money on it. DeMarcus Cousins and others apparently thought it was “racially insensitive” on the first day of Black History Month.
Now, I’m generally liberal and proud of it but where does this stop? Cops vetoing “Year of the Pig? Lawyers vetoing “Year of the Snake?” Or some white voters complaining about “Year of the Sheep?

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Last night CNN covered Cruz, Trump, Rubio, Clinton and Sanders speeches. Fox News only covered the GOP candidates. So fair and balanced only means between “right” and “far right?”

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After Iowa

February 1, 2016

So the 2016 caucuses in Iowa are over.  No doubt someone will be setting up a potential campaign office for 2020 tomorrow.

 

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#‎IowaCaucus‬ numbers: ‪#‎Huckabee‬ – 3,305 ‪#‎Christie‬ – 3,247. So NJ Gov. got 57 fewer votes less than guy who suspended his campaign tonight.

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Record number of GOP caucus goers in Iowa. The turnout, at 150,000, is about the same as a good three-day ‪#‎SFGiants‬ ‪#‎LADodgers‬ series.

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#‎MarcoRubio‬ gives a great victory speech – thanking 39,000 Iowans for his third place finish. ‪#‎IowaCaucus‬

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Marco Rubio does an awfully good job of attacking Hillary Clinton for not keeping her personal and work emails separate for someone who has been almost indicted for, at best, not keeping his personal and work credit cards separate.

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Some say the young Senator Marco Rubio is a GOP Barack Obama.  One major difference – one of Obama’s parents was actually a U.S. citizen.

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Breaking news from 2012 – Mike ‪#‎Huckabee‬ has just suspended his Presidential campaign.

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Martin O’Malley says he will suspend his Presidential campaign. And millions of American in unison respond “who?

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#‎MartinOMalley‬ just suspended campaign. Wonder if he’s found moving company to return him from midwest to ‪#‎Baltimore‬ in middle of night?

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Ah Donald. In Council Bluffs, Iowa, Trump went to church, mistook the communion plate for the collection plate and tried to put in an donation. Well, when this election is over he can relax and start not going to services except for weddings again.

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Adele said through a spokesman that she has NOT given Donald Trump permission to play her “Rolling in the Deep” and “Skyfall,” So how long until Trump adds the British onto his anti-immigrant list?

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President Obama has announced $1 billion in funding over the next two years in an effort to cure cancer. Waiting for the GOP rebuttal.

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Now Jerry Falwell, Jr, has endorsed Trump. Forget the clown car, it’s looking like SRO on the clown private jet.

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Apparently a couple of the Denver Broncos’ team buses were involved in a minor traffic accident – “a small wreck” according to one of the players.  No injuries reported. So the biggest wreck in this postseason still remains Carlson Palmer.

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Jim Harbaugh just wrote that he returned to Michigan because he loves the school and Ann Arbor. Well, that and he was thoroughly out of love with the 49ers and Jed York/Trent Baalke.

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Another day, another fire story. Maybe if we really want to stop ISIL we should just start shipping them hoverboards.

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American Airlines is the latest to trumpet that free snacks are coming back to domestic flights. Really amazing, not that many years ago airlines gave us free meals, now they expect gratitude for free snacks. Kind of the travel equivalent of Stockholm Syndrome.

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The Cleveland Cavaliers’ recent strong play was apparently sparked by a players-only meeting. Not sure what was discussed but maybe “Hey guys, we just got a 30-11 coach fired, if we don’t step it up fans will think it just might be OUR fault.”

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Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson, told a crowd at a Ted Cruz rally that same-sex marriage is “evil” and “wicked.” Right, instead men should do as he says and did and “marry girls when they’re 15 or 16.” (Phil’ wife Kay was 16.)

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Greased

February 1, 2016

So guess ‪#‎EvePlumb‬ got through all of ‪#‎GreaseLive‬ without even one round of “Marcia, Marcia, Marcia….”

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And who knew Fox’s “Grease Live” would be the most entertaining live event of the day.   Okay, maybe with the NHL All-Star game and NFL Pro Bowl they didn’t have much competition.   But it was fun.

 

So a) how lousy was the Pro Bowl as a game and/or b) how dangerous is football, that what seems like half the NFL turned down a free trip to Hawaii to avoid it?

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So considering the number of dropouts, declines and “injured” players, should the MVP for the ‪#‎ProBowl‬ get a participation trophy?

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Good news tonight, Feb 1, we’ll finally have actual results in Iowa. Better news, we’ll be only 16 days from pitchers & catchers reporting

 

Apparently rumors of El Chapo escaping again are just a hoax. So you’re still alive if you have February in the pool.

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The NY Times noted this quote from an email sent to Mich. Gov. Rick Snyder that a state nurse told one young mother to not worry when her son’s blood showed an elevated lead level. “It is just a few IQ points. … It is not the end of the world,”
So was the tainted water part of a plot to create more GOP voters?

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White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest said Hillary Clinton won’t be Indicted “based on what we know.” I’m sure it’s just a coincidence that phrase sounds similar to Clinton in 2008 saying Barack Obama wasn’t a Muslim “as far as I know.”

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Regarding the Clinton email situation it’s good to see how all the people who are up in arms over the potential security risks and want indictments are the same ones who wanted to indict Cheney and others in the Bush administration over Valerie Plame…. Oops, never mind.

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Marco Rubio said that Bernie Sanders “is a good candidate for President of Sweden.”. What’s next, him saying Ted Cruz should be President of Canada?

(Sweden is a constitutional monarchy -with a Prime Minister, like Canada.)

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For all the fuss about the Iowa caucuses, an interesting side note is that you must be registered with a party to caucus, and there are many independents. So not only is Iowa a relatively small state, the turnout is approximately 15 percent of its registered voters.

 

Many of the GOP candidates in Iowa have gone to Crossroads Sports in Des Moines for shooting and target practice. If publicity is the goal, wouldn’t it have been more interesting for them to schedule duels?

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Todd Weiler, a GOP state senator in Utah, has introduced legislation to declare porn a “public health hazard” and an epidemic. Weiler is comparing naysayers to climate change deniers – “These are scientific facts, just like global warming,”
What a shocking story.. A GOP legislator believes in global warming?

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Apparently the NFL was trying to sell suites for the Super Bowl for $500,000 to $1 million, but the remaining suites have fallen in price to about $150,000. Wow. and that’s with all the corporations who buy the suites recouping some of their costs by writing them off as deductions. ‪#‎ourtaxdollarsatwork‬

 

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Ted Cruz, campaigning against Michelle Obama’s healthy eating efforts:
“Let me say something to the school-aged kids here. “If Heidi Cruz becomes the next first lady, French fries are coming back to the cafeteria.’
Because U.S. kids don’t get enough junk food? ‪#‎MakeAmericafatagain‬

 

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Ted Cruz’s campaign in Iowa is sending out mailers saying “ACTION ALERT: VOTER VIOLATION,” “PUBLIC RECORD” and “FURTHER ACTION NEEDED.” With this text “You are receiving this election notice because of low expected voter turnout in your area. Your individual voting history as well as your neighbors’ are public record. Their scores are published below, and many of them will see your score as well. CAUCUS ON MONDAY TO IMPROVE YOUR SCORE and please encourage your neighbors to caucus as well. A follow-up notice may be issued following Monday’s caucuses.”

So Cruz is trying to prove he’s really American because Canadians wouldn’t be that scummy?

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Not watered down.

January 30, 2016

 

The situation in Flint has made some nervous about New Orleans’ drinking water because the city still has some lead pipes from the early 1900s still in use. Solution for locals? Beer, wine, and whiskey neat.

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A Delta Air Lines flight from Los Angeles to Minneapolis had to make an unscheduled landing in Salt Lake City because two flight female flight attendants got into a on board fistfight over “work issues” No word on if the airline also charged passengers a “catfight” fee.

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Wonder what the polls will say on Monday about ‪#‎Iowa‬. Wait, we’re going to have actual VOTES?!!  Or caucus votes at least.  What a concept.

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Iowa caucuses and “The Bachelor” both will be on TV Monday night. Difference at this point is that “The Bachelor” has more plausible human beings.

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Police were called over an “incident” potentially involving Johnny Manziel and his ex-girlfriend early Saturday morning.  So congrats to all those who had January 30 in the last pool.

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In Benicia, California, an FBI badge, credentials and three handguns were stolen from a secured FBI vehicle parked overnight in a neighborhood, What could possibly go wrong?. ‪#‎goodguywithagunbecomesstupidguywithoutguns‬

 

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“The Revenant” didn’t get Best Picture at the SAG awards. So those who enjoy watching a winner emerge from white-on-white violence will just have to wait until the Iowa caucuses.

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Cliven Bundy says now that LaVoy Finicum was “assassinated” during the wildlife refuge occupation. “These men in local, state, and U.S. government feared the truths that LaVoy Finicum was standing for….”
Well, that ought to really help Cliven’s son Ammon’s chances for bail.

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Donald Trump is referring repeatedly to Ted Cruz as an “anchor baby.” But is Trump himself a host for the foreign–born furry thing that lives on his head?

 

 

 

From T.C. “If you bet on this weekend’s Pro Bowl, you are a degenerate. If you bet on both the Pro Bowl and the NHL All Star game, you need counseling.”

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No place like home?

January 29, 2016

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Chargers chairman Dean Spanos says that the team will stay put in 2016. And while they have “an option and an agreement with the Los Angeles Rams to go to Inglewood in the next year, my focus is on San Diego.” Translation, “my new girlfriend isn’t ready for me to move in with her yet, so for now I’m staying home with you, honey.”

 

 

Clippers coach Doc Rivers on Blake Griffin’s breaking his hand in a fight with a team equipment manager “You have to forgive people at some point. I believe that. We built Richard Nixon a library,”
Waiting for someone to say ‘I knew Richard Nixon, Richard Nixon was a friend of mine, Blake, sir, is no Richard Nixon.”

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Notre Dame football Brian Kelly has just signed a six-year contract extension. Which I am sure if he does well and the NFL comes calling he will take as seriously as the four-year contract he signed at Cincinnati in 2009.

(note to the uninitiated, Kelly then left Cincy for Notre Dame in December, 2009.)

 

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Coach Jim Harbaugh, responding to criticism over three two recent high school seniors having their offers rescinded by Michigan: “It’s a meritocracy with everything we do in our program. It’s going to continue to be that.”
Showing again both why Harbaugh was so successful at Stanford and why no one tried that hard to convince him not to leave.

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Carly Fiorina said last night “Listen, if my husband did what Bill Clinton did, I would have left him long ago.” Instead Carly just left her first husband to marry her second husband….. ‪#‎familyvalues

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So Trump said at his anti-debate rally he was there because he had been treated badly and was standing up for his rights. Great, so that means if elected and he gets upset at other world leaders Trump will just go off and have his own summit?

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Okay, really? Now there’s a lot of attention being paid to Megyn Kelly’s fake eyelashes at last night’s debate? Of course, to be fair, maybe her lashes were sourced from a relative of that furry thing that lives on Trump’s head.

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Hillary Clinton said she turned her ‪#‎Snapchat‬ account over to Bill for the day. And we thought her email issue was a mistake with technology?

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Chris Christie, asked about Bridgegate last night, pointed to several investigations that cleared him of wrong doing. And no doubt if elected he promises to launch another investigation on Benghazi?

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Meanwhile up in Canada, PM Justin Trudeau related how his wife told him “Okay, it’s great that you’re engaged and modeling to your daughter that you want her empowered, but you need to take as much effort to talk to your sons [who are 2 and 8] about how he treats women and grow up to be a feminist, just like Dad.”
Hmm, as a break from all these 2016 U.S. candidates can we borrow Canada’s First Family?

 

Birth defects resulting from the Zika virus have become scary enough that in England couples are being told not to become pregnant for a month after returning from an infected country. Will the U.S. be next with warnings? Of course those who don’t believe in science can ignore them.

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A 35 year-old married lawyer has been banned from all five Broward county jails after she was caught allegedly having sex with her client, an alleged murderer, in an interview room at the main jail this week. Back on your game, Florida.

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You had one job

January 28, 2016

We might have a winner for the year in the #Youhadonejob, and it goes to the guy in charge of painting the end zones for Super Bowl 50 at Levi’s Stadium – they painted TWO with the Broncos logo.  And forgot about the Panthers. #Nottheonion

 

 

The Dallas Cowboys will not resign Greg Hardy. Apparently because Hardy was frequently late for meeting, and wasn’t in peak physical condition because he partied too much. So domestic violence is okay as long as you show up on time and in shape?

 

 

Missouri dismissed QB Maty Mauk from the football team for “violating team rules” after a video surfaced of him apparently snorting cocaine. Mauk had a 17-5 record as a starter. Too soon to start a pool on which coach will give him a second chance?

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In New York City , police arrested two men with $14 million in heroin in the bed of a big pickup truck after the men were spotted driving around looking for parking. Truly insane. Not the attempted smuggling, but who thinks with a pickup truck they can find actual parking on NYC streets?

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Affluenza teen Ethan Couch was flown from Puerto Vallarta to Dallas today. Wonder if he complained about the trip not being first class?

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Some controversy over Joseph Fiennes being cast to play Michael Jackson in an upcoming BBC TV movie. Is that because Fiennes is white or because he’s male?

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John McCain says of the current election “I’ve never seen anything like this.” And presumably this even includes the Lincoln-Douglas debates

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Best news for ‪#‎ChrisChristie‬ during tonight’s GOP debate. Not just more air time without Trump, less competition for post debate doughnuts.

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Rick Santorum and Mike Huckabee decided to attend Donald Trump’s rally after the children’s table debate tonight. Because apparently at this point they dislike Trump less than they love ANY publicity.

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Today Trump said that it was Fox News’ sarcastic comments about his withdrawal that sealed his decision to stay away from the debates. Attention US friends and enemies – so apparently it’s not just “sticks and stones” that hurt the Donald…

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Now rumors that the Oakland Raiders are looking into a move to…. Las Vegas. Not that the NFL would allow it as of course the league wants nothing to do with gambling…

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Much media discussion of the Challenger disaster today. And it was awful. But for those of us who were kids in the 1960s, it’s actually another sad anniversary – Apollo 1, January 27, 1967 – Gus Grissom, Edward White, and Roger Chaffee. Remembering them as well.

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Damn. R.I.P. Paul Kantner, 74. I remember when you were a youngster if you thought first of the band being known as Jefferson Starship. “Nothing ever breaks up the heart, Only tears give you away….” (from Miracles.)

 

My younger friends may not believe this with the various explicit rap and other lyrics these days but when ‪#‎JeffersonStarships‬‘ “Miracles” came out, many radio stations played a version where they censored the lyrics- the offending line ‘I get a taste of the real world, when I go down on you, girl.”

Seems so quaint today.

 

Pat Riley: LeBron ‘never, ever’ requested Erik Spoelstra firing when he was at Miami. Well, of course not, when you’re a superstar you get your posse to handle making that kind of request for you.

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On the rebound?

January 27, 2016

All 7 New England Patriots selected to the Pro Bowl will miss the game due to “injuries.” Right, they’re sick about losing to Peyton Manning and the Broncos.

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Meanwhile, the Spurs did not appear TOO traumatized by their loss to the Warriors.  (San Antonio 130, Houston 99, and it wasn’t that close.)

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Congrats to Gregg Popovich for being named the NBA Western Conference All-Star game coach. Just to show there are no hard feelings over Monday’s loss Pop has promised to make sure Steph Curry and Draymond Green both get to play at least 46 minutes.

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Cam Newton: “I’m an African-American quarterback that may scare a lot of people because they haven’t seen nothing that they can compare me to.” Even Joe Namath is thinking, “Kid, just a LITTLE humility, please.”

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A Twitter rumor has the New England Patriots talking to Stanford quarterback Kevin Hogan.  Say it ain’t so. Did Hogan tell them Stanford has an Honor Code that says no cheating?

 

Today is the ‪#‎ProBowl‬ draft?! And if you knew that and cared, you might REALLY have too much time on your hands.

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Affluenza teen Ethan Couch has waived his fight against extradition and will be returning to Texas. Translation, Mexican detention centers probably aren’t the Four Seasons.

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So when ‪#‎AbeVigoda‬ showed up at the pearly gates wonder if St. Peter originally waived him off with “Go home, you’re not fooling me.”

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An American Airlines flight from London to Los Angeles had to turn around and return to Heathrow today due to some medical emergency involving passengers and crew. Let’s hope they didn’t have the fish.

 

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Got to love New Orleans priorities. A major 6 alarm fire in an empty building near the French Quarter has thankfully so far not resulted in any injuries. And the local headline “Canal Street fire could affect Mardi Gras parade route

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There’s a thing going around  Facebook, if you were kidnapped, what TV shows’ characters would you want to come rescue you? Forget all these cop shows – give me Downton Abbey: NOBODY messes with the Dowager Duchess and Lady Mary.

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Donald Trump’s campaign manager – “What we know is Megyn Kelly is totally obsessed with Mr. Trump.” Uh, who is totally obsessed with who?

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So no one can figure out how to stop Donald Trump. Here’s an idea. Tell him if he is elected President all major networks will jointly appoint Megyn Kelly as their White House Correspondent.

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Ben Carson says about the election, “I see the threat being the fact that people sometimes are not well educated.”They don’t have a clue what you’re talking about, and yet these are people who vote.”
Right, and this is the same good doctor who says being gay is a choice and that the Jews could have prevented the Holocaust if they had guns.

 

U.S. public health officials are warning that we need to be prepared for the almost certain spread of the Zika virus. Waiting for anti-government types to demand that the feds do more to keep us safe.

 

 

Was at the bank today in Los Altos where the older woman in front of me apologized to the teller and stood back a bit from the counter, saying she had just come back from the Caribbean, had been bitten by some mosquitoes, and was afraid she might be contagious with the Zika virus. Sigh. Here we go again. ‪#‎nothingtofearbutfearitself‬ ‪#‎feariswinning‬

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