Posted tagged ‘omalley jokes’

After Iowa

February 1, 2016

So the 2016 caucuses in Iowa are over.  No doubt someone will be setting up a potential campaign office for 2020 tomorrow.

 

#‎IowaCaucus‬ numbers: ‪#‎Huckabee‬ – 3,305 ‪#‎Christie‬ – 3,247. So NJ Gov. got 57 fewer votes less than guy who suspended his campaign tonight.

Record number of GOP caucus goers in Iowa. The turnout, at 150,000, is about the same as a good three-day ‪#‎SFGiants‬ ‪#‎LADodgers‬ series.

#‎MarcoRubio‬ gives a great victory speech – thanking 39,000 Iowans for his third place finish. ‪#‎IowaCaucus‬

Marco Rubio does an awfully good job of attacking Hillary Clinton for not keeping her personal and work emails separate for someone who has been almost indicted for, at best, not keeping his personal and work credit cards separate.

Some say the young Senator Marco Rubio is a GOP Barack Obama.  One major difference – one of Obama’s parents was actually a U.S. citizen.

Breaking news from 2012 – Mike ‪#‎Huckabee‬ has just suspended his Presidential campaign.

Martin O’Malley says he will suspend his Presidential campaign. And millions of American in unison respond “who?

#‎MartinOMalley‬ just suspended campaign. Wonder if he’s found moving company to return him from midwest to ‪#‎Baltimore‬ in middle of night?

Ah Donald. In Council Bluffs, Iowa, Trump went to church, mistook the communion plate for the collection plate and tried to put in an donation. Well, when this election is over he can relax and start not going to services except for weddings again.

Adele said through a spokesman that she has NOT given Donald Trump permission to play her “Rolling in the Deep” and “Skyfall,” So how long until Trump adds the British onto his anti-immigrant list?

President Obama has announced $1 billion in funding over the next two years in an effort to cure cancer. Waiting for the GOP rebuttal.

Now Jerry Falwell, Jr, has endorsed Trump. Forget the clown car, it’s looking like SRO on the clown private jet.

Apparently a couple of the Denver Broncos’ team buses were involved in a minor traffic accident – “a small wreck” according to one of the players.  No injuries reported. So the biggest wreck in this postseason still remains Carlson Palmer.

Jim Harbaugh just wrote that he returned to Michigan because he loves the school and Ann Arbor. Well, that and he was thoroughly out of love with the 49ers and Jed York/Trent Baalke.

Another day, another fire story. Maybe if we really want to stop ISIL we should just start shipping them hoverboards.

American Airlines is the latest to trumpet that free snacks are coming back to domestic flights. Really amazing, not that many years ago airlines gave us free meals, now they expect gratitude for free snacks. Kind of the travel equivalent of Stockholm Syndrome.

The Cleveland Cavaliers’ recent strong play was apparently sparked by a players-only meeting. Not sure what was discussed but maybe “Hey guys, we just got a 30-11 coach fired, if we don’t step it up fans will think it just might be OUR fault.”

Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson, told a crowd at a Ted Cruz rally that same-sex marriage is “evil” and “wicked.” Right, instead men should do as he says and did and “marry girls when they’re 15 or 16.” (Phil’ wife Kay was 16.)

Lowering the bar.

December 19, 2015

Florida announced that QB Will Grier. suspended until late in the 2016 season for PEDs, will transfer. Coach Jim McElwain said “this has been very difficult on him and obviously he is looking for a fresh start.” Obviously. Or at least more lax drug testing.

Martin Shkreli has tweeted out “I am confident I will prevail. The allegations against me are baseless and without merit.” Uh, has it occurred to Shkreli that the only people who don’t think he’s a complete scumbag are the same people who are plenty rich enough to get out of jury duty?

The first college bowl game – the Air Force Reserve Celebration Bowl – was today was between Alcorn State and North Carolina A&T – Be honest. Who even knew those two schools had football teams?

Our symbol is not the barbed wire fence, it is the Statue of Liberty. ‪#‎DemDebate‬ ‪#‎OMalley‬ ‪#‎Stillwontwinbutnicelysaid‬

#‎MartinOMalley‬ “Can I offer another generation’s perspective?” Not like millennials are watching, but if they were “you guys are all old.”

Love Bernie Sanders but every time you see him talk you expect to hear him yell “You punks get off my lawn.” ‪#‎DemDebate‬

So Matt Cassell managed to throw an interception and get called for intentional grounding on the same play. ‪#‎NYJvsDAL‬ Somewhere Mark Sanchez is giggling. ‪#‎almostabuttfumble‬

#‎MartinOMalley‬ “Can I offer another generation’s perspective?” Not like millennials are watching, but if they were “you guys are all old.”

 

Obama met with families of those people killed in San Bernadino yesterday, and a local GOP supervisor criticizing him for it. saying the President should have met with the wounded too. The supervisor also accused Obama of “politicizing” the tragedy. And he said it with a straight face. ‪#‎cantwin‬

 

Tonight the ‪#‎DallasCowboys‬ were officially eliminated from the playoffs. No punchline, I just like writing it.