Posted tagged ‘grammy jokes’

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Sing it.

February 16, 2016

Not sure what makes me feel older at Grammys, the “in memoriams” or all these major acts I have never heard of.

 

You know it’s bad when the ‪#‎SuperBowl‬ halftime show had better audio than the ‪#‎GRAMMYs‬

 

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#‎Hamilton‬ wins Grammy for best musical theater album. Good for them. but this could really make tickets hard to get.

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#‎TaylorSwift‬‘s “Out of the Woods” was received so well at tonight’s ‪#‎GRAMMYs‬ she’ll need to find a new boyfriend to break up with to top it.

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For all those who say that Peyton Manning is getting a pass from the media over his past sexual assault allegation because he is white, I give you the adulation also now given at the end of his career to Kobe Bryant.

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Dylan McCaffrey, a QB and the younger brother of Christian, has committed to Michigan. Good for Jim Harbaugh. But an important note – Stanford didn’t make him an offer.

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Sign of the apocalypse? USA today is projecting the ‪#‎Cubs‬ to win 101 games.#

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Anyone but me want to see ‪#‎DonaldTrump‬ & ‪#‎KanyeWest‬ try to get together and see if their egos will fit in the same room?

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Hoping those folks who claimed to be offended by Beyonce at ‪#‎SuperBowl‬ are listening to ‪#‎GRAMMYs‬ tonight with picture off. #seriouslyskimpyclothing

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Kanye West says he’s $53 million in debt. If true “I feel so sorry for him,” said nobody.

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So if Kanye West’s really $53 million in debt will he declare bankruptcy? If so, maybe that will be the first step for Kanye to show he’s serious about running for President.

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Who says Californians don’t have weather problems in February? Why, after leaving my car in a shopping center parking lot today for an hour I had to turn the fan on driving home to cool it down….

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So Antonin Scalia was reportedly found with a pillow over his head, but looking “peaceful” and his family waived an autopsy. ‪#‎BlameObama‬ conspiracy theories in 3-2-1…..

 

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Jeb Bush is taking some grief for having his brother campaign for him in South Carolina. But after watching recent GOP debates, have to figure a lot of Americans are thinking W. doesn’t look so bad by comparison. ‪#‎maybedumbbutnotbatshitcrazy‬

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Got to love targeted advertising. Clicked on a story about major Comcast outages across the country, and then almost immediately got a Yahoo ad to switch to Comcast.

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Even Anthony Weiner is beginning to think that ‪#‎EliotSpitzer‬ has serious issues with women.

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Marco Rubio’s latest ad referenced Reagan’s 1984 “Morning in America” ad. Except the footage was from…. Vancouver! Is Rubio trying to be Ted Cruz’s running mate?

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Apparently the Democrats don’t want to debate on Fox News. I don’t know. Seems like a fine opportunity for both Hillary and Bernie to show they’re tough enough to stand up to Megyn Kelly.

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Categories: debate jokes, GOP jokes, Uncategorized
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Do you hear what I hear?

February 9, 2015

The Grammys were tonight. For many of us a chance to really feel old. As not in “I don’t like that music” but “who is that anyway”?

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Confused though.   Were the ‪#‎GRAMMYs‬ honoring ‪#‎SamSmith‬ tonight, or ‪#‎TomPetty‬?

 

Apparently climbers in the Andes say have found the wreck of a LAN Chile plane that disappeared in April, 1961 with 34 people on board. Stay tuned for the CNN special on what this may mean about the disappearance of MH 370.

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The NBA has fined Clippers point guard Chris Paul $25,000 for his comments about referee Lauren Holtkamp. Sounds like one commissioner at least remembers that his sport has female fans.

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Random sidelight to this Chris Paul comments controversy, it’s worth nothing that having a female assistant coach, Becky Hammon, doesn’t seem to have hurt the Spurs too much this year. ‪#‎girlpower‬

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The Powerball jackpot is up to $450 million. And alas in America more people probably think they’re going to win it than think they have a chance of getting sick without being vaccinated.

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It just gets worse for Brian Williams, today, the embattled NBC anchor was alleged to have referred to the NY Knicks as a professional basketball team

 

Brian Williams has backed out of a scheduled appearance on David Letterman Thursday. Okay,  friends and readers, shall we start a “Top Ten Reasons Why?”

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Dean Smith, 83, has passed away. He wasn’t the father of the shot clock. But he created the need for one. ‪

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At Dean Smith’s funeral, will programs be passed slowly around the church for an hour before the ceremony starts?

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Left-handed pitcher, Sarah Hudek, who throws in the mid 80s, just signed a letter of intent for a scholarship at Louisiana’s Bossier Parish Community College. Good luck to the young woman, and hey, she’s already 20 mph or so ahead of Barry Zito.

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Bill Cosby had scheduled shows in Boston tonight. After the rape allegations became public, the theater originally offered upset ticket holders who called their money back, but later announced no further refunds would be given. Now with the latest storm, the shows have been cancelled. Game, set and match to Mother Nature.

 

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NASA has released a video of the far side of the moon. Is it set to a Pink Floyd soundtrack?

 

As if we needed proof, again, that being a star athlete has nothing to do with intelligence, common sense, or even at times decency…. Chipper Jones apologized for tweeting Friday “So the FBI comes out and confirms that Sandy Hook was a hoax! Where’s the outrage? What else are we being lied to about? Waco? JFK? Pfff…”

Jones apologized yesterday, said he was “irresponsible,” but had “heard something from someone which I thought to be credible and tweeted w/out researching.” Notes to Chipper. 1. Use the internet. 2. Use your head. 3. Drop that “someone” as a source. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

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“Unimaginable?”

February 13, 2012

One statement released about Whitney Houston’s death said it was “Unimaginable.” “Sad”, yes, “a terrible waste”, yes, “horrible for her daughter”, yes. But “unimaginable?” Not exactly. Maybe not even completely “unexpected.” (Are you paying attention, Lindsay Lohan?)

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Though questions remain about Whitney Houston’s death, the sad truth is that the person she probably needed a bodyguard from was herself.

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Bus to hell time. So wonder what Whitney Houston was drinking at the time of her death? Bathtub gin?

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Wonder if all those big post Grammy parties and champagne that friends of Rihanna suggested to Chris Brown that he go home and take a nice long bath?

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Okay, I get celebrity watching, even extending to funerals. But all these non-media folks lined up with phones and camera phones outside the Beverly Hills Hotel jostling to get a shot of the coroner’s van with Whitney Houston’s body?

Not exactly a picture you’d print for your mantel.

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A little irony, Jennifer Hudson was eliminated on American Idol during Barry Manilow week. But the week before, she wowed everyone on movie soundtrack week with “I have nothing,” from “The Bodyguard.

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How quickly things change. The Sunday newspaper talked about the big story at the Grammys tonight being the singing comeback of Adele.

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Why the Academy Awards always has it over the Grammys. The Oscar telecast is LIVE. Come on folks – those of us on the West Coast can handle a show starting on television late Saturday afternoon. We just managed the Super Bowl.

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Warriors vs. Rockets Sunday night. Otherwise known as the “We scr*wed up on Jeremy Lin” matchup.
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Republican infighting reaches new heights with even Ron Paul going after Romney and accusing him of cheating in the Maine caucuses. (Santorum and Gingrich were already in full attack mode.) It appears to be bitter, personal and unending. Who does the GOP think they are? Democrats?

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Got to love TSA. Today at the airport my carry on bag seemed a bit wide to one agent. Said I couldn’t bring it through security. Asked if I had a sweater or jacket inside? Had a sweater. Told me to take it out and carry it. Now we were good. Felt so much safer…. Sigh.

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Did someone forget to tell Phil Mickelson that Tiger Woods was supposed to be today’s golf story?

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The Yankees are reported in talks with the Pirates to move A.J. Burnett. The trade would no doubt require NY to eat some of his $35 million salary for the next two years. This passes for baseball equality these days, the rich get a little less rich, and the poor get stuck with players like Burnett.

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Beach Boys 50 year reunion. Yeah, they’ve still got it, even if those “Good Vibrations’ might now be from their overheated hearing aids.

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Not to say Beach Boys aren’t as active as they used to be. But hear one song on their reunion tour will be “Channel Surfing USA.”

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Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
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