Posted tagged ‘Beach boys jokes’

“Unimaginable?”

February 13, 2012

One statement released about Whitney Houston’s death said it was “Unimaginable.” “Sad”, yes, “a terrible waste”, yes, “horrible for her daughter”, yes. But “unimaginable?” Not exactly. Maybe not even completely “unexpected.” (Are you paying attention, Lindsay Lohan?)

Though questions remain about Whitney Houston’s death, the sad truth is that the person she probably needed a bodyguard from was herself.


Bus to hell time. So wonder what Whitney Houston was drinking at the time of her death? Bathtub gin?

Wonder if all those big post Grammy parties and champagne that friends of Rihanna suggested to Chris Brown that he go home and take a nice long bath?

Okay, I get celebrity watching, even extending to funerals. But all these non-media folks lined up with phones and camera phones outside the Beverly Hills Hotel jostling to get a shot of the coroner’s van with Whitney Houston’s body?

Not exactly a picture you’d print for your mantel.

A little irony, Jennifer Hudson was eliminated on American Idol during Barry Manilow week. But the week before, she wowed everyone on movie soundtrack week with “I have nothing,” from “The Bodyguard.

How quickly things change. The Sunday newspaper talked about the big story at the Grammys tonight being the singing comeback of Adele.

Why the Academy Awards always has it over the Grammys. The Oscar telecast is LIVE. Come on folks – those of us on the West Coast can handle a show starting on television late Saturday afternoon. We just managed the Super Bowl.

Warriors vs. Rockets Sunday night. Otherwise known as the “We scr*wed up on Jeremy Lin” matchup.

Republican infighting reaches new heights with even Ron Paul going after Romney and accusing him of cheating in the Maine caucuses. (Santorum and Gingrich were already in full attack mode.) It appears to be bitter, personal and unending. Who does the GOP think they are? Democrats?

Got to love TSA. Today at the airport my carry on bag seemed a bit wide to one agent. Said I couldn’t bring it through security. Asked if I had a sweater or jacket inside? Had a sweater. Told me to take it out and carry it. Now we were good. Felt so much safer…. Sigh.


Did someone forget to tell Phil Mickelson that Tiger Woods was supposed to be today’s golf story?

The Yankees are reported in talks with the Pirates to move A.J. Burnett. The trade would no doubt require NY to eat some of his $35 million salary for the next two years. This passes for baseball equality these days, the rich get a little less rich, and the poor get stuck with players like Burnett.

Beach Boys 50 year reunion. Yeah, they’ve still got it, even if those “Good Vibrations’ might now be from their overheated hearing aids.

Not to say Beach Boys aren’t as active as they used to be. But hear one song on their reunion tour will be “Channel Surfing USA.”

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Reunions and separations.

December 17, 2011

Brian Wilson is reuniting with the Beach Boys for a 50th anniversary tour. No doubt a featured hit will be “Help Me Rhonda, I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up.”

(Or “Fun, Fun, Fun until my kids and the DMV take my T-bird away.”)

Upon reflection on Vanessa Bryant’s filing for divorce,, two questions emerge. 1. Did Kobe get room service anywhere lately? 2. Did Vanessa just find out about Callista Gingrich’s $500,000 line of credit at Tiffany’s?

Kobe and Vanessa are apparently sharing custody of their children. Wonder who gets custody of the jewelry.

Barry Bonds has been sentenced to 30 days house arrest, and 2 years probation. Well, makes sense, if they throw everyone who hasn’t been truthful about PEDs behind bars we’d need to build a lot more prisons.

Hamleys, London’s most famous toy store, has this Christmas eliminated its pink “girls” and blue “boys” floors, and has said they will no longer group toys by gender. Why do I think that if they were in the U.S. at least one GOP presidential candidate would accuse them of violating the Constitution.

Just wondering, did former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney bet anyone $10,000 on the Patriots-Broncos game?

Ron Paul said on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno that, while he is 76, his “ideas are young.” Well, not as young as Mitt Romney’s, since he’s only had his current ideas for a four or five years max.

And Ron Paul, while he has some odd ideas, is certainly different from most of the other GOP candidates. For starters, his sentences have nouns, subjects, verbs….

The Canadian Transportation Agency has said that Canadian Airlines (Air Canada and WestJet) must either ban cats on flights with allergic passengers, or else provide cat-free buffer zones and effective ventilation. Could they do the same for folks who wear too much perfume, don’t bathe, or spend the flight talking loudly nonstop?

Mitt Romney, who once worked for a health-care consulting company, told an audience today that until he got into government, he didn’t understand the difference between Medicaid and Medicare. Is Mitt trying now to appeal to Rick Perry voters?

Top four ESPN.com headlines Friday were about the Penn State trial, Bonds’ sentencing, the Bears cutting Hurd after his drug dealing arrest, and the NFL upholding Harrison’s suspension. I’ll tell you, even as a pro-choice woman who isn’t very religious, listening to Tebow’s thanking his “Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” is sounding pretty good by comparison.

Britney Spears, 30, is now engaged to be married for the third time. Wonder if that means when she gets tired of singing, Spears is planning a career in national GOP politics.

Newt Gingrich STILL maintains that the $1.6 million he got from Freddie Mac was simply for giving advice as a historian. We could only wish. If that were the going rate, history professors on college campuses would be richer than football coaches.

It must be the holiday season. The House passed an emergency $1 trillion budget bill by a bipartisan 296-121 vote. These days I wouldn’t have thought you could get a 296-121 vote to pass a resolution saying “Merry Christmas.”


Let’s hope Mike McQueary finally told the truth today about that shower incident back in 2002. But one question I’d like to ask Mike – “You saw that, you told people, and yet Sandusky remained around campus and you know nothing happened. Didn’t you ever feel that maybe you should have gone to the police?