Fun and games.

Posted November 18, 2013 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford says now he didn’t lie when he was asked “Do you smoke crack?” Because he isn’t a “crack addict” But he says wasn’t asked ‘Have you EVER smoked crack? Then he said he would have replied ‘Yeah, I have.” And Bill “depends what the definition of ‘is’ is” Clinton is thinking. “Sir, I bow to you.”

Not saying the Kansas City Chiefs might have been the least intimidating 9-0 team in history. But when they lost to the Broncos yesterday, the 1972 Miami Dolphins just yawned.

Brett Favre said at this point he would be “real leery” of letting his child play football. An interesting sidelight question, after all the hits Favre has taken, does he remember how many children he has?

The NFC LEast line of the day is that that the 6-5 Eagles “all but eliminated” the 3-7 Redskins. And yes, in the NFC LEast, 3-7 is still alive to win the division.

There’s growing consensus that the Washington Redskins should change their name. But the way the team is playing, any new mascot will be an insult to whatever person, place or thing they select.

With all the talk of bullying in the NFL, what are the odds that a man generously listed at 5’6″ with a speech impediment could survive in the league? Because that describes Darren Sproles.

 

NY Jets coach Rex Ryan now admits that before his team’s thrashing  at the hands of the Buffalo Bills, they spent part of Saturday together at a “Dave and Busters” eating and playing games. Well, look at the bright side. The Jets may have lost 37-14. But they got enough tickets for some really cool prizes.

Well, Stanford may not have played as well as USC Saturday night. But at least we know how to storm a field without hurting ourselves….

In today’s papal address, Pope Francis held up a box that looked like a packet of pills, saying that prayer was good medicine for the human heart. Then volunteers distributed 1000’s of the packets, which contained rosaries. Wonder how many Catholic women saw what looked like birth control pills in his hand and thought their prayers had been answered…

 

Tim Hudson has signed with the SF Giants. Maybe he figures that considering the sendoff Zito got after his years here the Giants fans have set the bar nice and low.

Treed off.

Posted November 17, 2013 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

Stanford deserved to lose that game. But just how bad a coach was Lane Kiffin…?

 

Maybe  Stanford needed #SFBatkid

 

 

On brighter note for Stanford.   Sign at USC before the football game. “I Wipe With Trees. And Cardinal fans are thinking. “Really? At Stanford we’re smart enough to use paper.”

 

The CIAA Division II football championship game between Virginia State and Winston Salem State was cancelled after five Virginia State players allegedly beat up the Winston Salem QB in the bathroom during a luncheon for both teams. Guess they were trying a little too hard to prove they were really the equivalent of Division I players?

Seattle voters have elected a socialist to city council. “How did you beat us to it?” said Berkeley..

 

A belated thought for #SFBatkid. Not an leukemia expert , so can only hope his remission is permanent. Not just for his own sake, but because the USA could use an adult with Batkid’s ability to bring our country together.

Toronto Mayor’s brother Doug Ford defended his brother but did say Rob “has faults.” Of course he could say the same thing about the Washington Redskins, the Miami Dolphins locker room, and the Chicago Cubs for the last century..

Clippers forward Matt Barnes said Friday he will continue using the N word he used on Twitter. He claims “I think when you put an ‘er’ at the end, that could make people cringe, but if you put an ‘a,’ that’s like saying ‘bro.’ That is how we talk.” Not sure how his teammates feel but Barnes is putting in a strong big for the least favorite athlete of American parents.

 

Apparently former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich is getting a new hearing over his 2011 corruption conviction. And in Toronto, lawyers and friends of Rob Ford are saying “Can we make this new hearing as long and drawn-out and media friendly as possible?

 

The Orlando Magic’s Glen Davis apparently got into an argument with a desk clerk at an Orlando Travelodge and threw  keyboard from a hotel computer.  A Travelodge?  This salary cap is more painful for players than we thought.

 

 

From T.C.  ” NBA Orlando Magic’s Glen “Big Baby” Davis has apologized for hurling a hotel computer at check in across the lobby. What, were there no chairs around? asked Bobby Knight.

Gotham City

Posted November 15, 2013 by left coast sports babe
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This blog is usually 95% snark..   At least but read the bottom item  for a change of pace.   Seriously.

Now Toronto mayor Rob Ford and his brother are getting their own television show. (No joke.) For all those who find “Keeping up with the Kardashians” just a bit too intellectual.

Just wondering how many NFL teams could cope with having a “nice” “soft” Stanford grad for a QB like Andrew Luck.

A story now reported by ESPN says that MLB officials impeded the Biogenesis investigation by the Florida Department of Health by illegally purchasing stolen documents, which they were warned not to do. As the saga continues, maybe it turns out MLB and A-Rod are perfect for each other?

 

A-Rod’s interview with MLB over his suspension has been canceled for tomorrow. Because the Yankees slugger reportedly has the flu. And who would ever expect A-Rod to make up an excuse?

(as Jim Barach said  “Wouldn’t you know. That’s the one shot he didn’t get.”)

A lawyer for a 16-year-old San Francisco boy arrested for allegedly setting 18-year-old Luke/Sasha Fleischman on fire for wearing a skirt, said the boy should not be prosecuted as an adult for a “prank.” Wonder if “prank” will be the term for what happens when the kid ends up juvenile hall or jail.

Former NFL star Darrell Green says the Washington Redskins don’t have leadership. Sounds like the team is a perfect metaphor for the city.

USC is reportedly ready to offer a new football coach $6 million a year. With a 5 year contract that should actually work out to about $10 million a year.

Just when you are completely ready to write off the world… here comes #SFBatkid Well played, San Francisco, well played. http://blog.sfgate.com/stew/2013/11/15/follow-batkids-adventure/

Maybe next Batkid can help out of the citizens of Toronto.  They could use him about now.

Random thoughts

Posted November 14, 2013 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

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A thought about all these stores opening Thanksgiving night. Let’s see…take millions of Americans, add family stress, plus alcohol, and put them on the road to the mall. What could POSSIBLY go wrong?

 

Random baseball  thought, none of the 2014 CY Young nor MVP winners played in the World Series. Coincidence? Or is there something about having a superstar on the team that makes others feel less urgency about performing?

Chris Brown checked out of rehab, about two weeks after he checked in following his latest arrest in Washington, D.C. Too soon to start a pool on the next “incident?”

In a recent poll, Congress was viewed less favorably than hemorrhoids or toenail fungus. Well, makes sense. There are cures for hemorrhoids and toenail fungus.

MLB owners today approved funding to expand instant replay in 2014. You know what this means – beer prices are going up.

Apparently the $10 million annual jeweled “Fantasy Bra” created by Victoria’s Secret isn’t very comfortable. Uh, thinking anyone buying such a bra for a present wouldn’t expect it to stay on very long.

A blind man was kicked off a US Airways flight because his service dog wouldn’t sit still for takeoff. The flight was then cancelled when so many other passengers protested. Wonder how many of them were protesting that airlines don’t do that with parents and children.

Just when you think the Toronto mayor story can’t get any weirder. Today Rob Ford, denying an affair with a former staffer. “It says I wanted to eat her (fill in the blank) and I have never said that in my life to her. I would never do that. I’m happily married and I’ve got more than enough to eat at home.” Is Ford angling for a post with the Clinton Global Initiative.

On thing about Toronto Mayor Rob Ford,  perhaps he puts to rest the image of Canadian politics being boring to rest once and for all.  (for those who don’t remember Pierre Trudeau.)

 

Not sure how long this Rob Ford saga will continue. But if there’s a silver lining for anyone, at least the 2013-14 Maple Leafs are just about guaranteed not to be the biggest target of jokes in Toronto.

A woman on a Southwest plane that made a rapid descent and then made a safe emergency landing at Raleigh-Durham airport, claims the pilot told passengers “We’re in trouble; we’re going down.'” No word on any possible compensation. But wonder if another carrier might have added a “thrill-ride” surcharge.

Miami Dolphins guard Richie Incognito has now filed a grievance against the team over his suspension. This might be the biggest mess ever in Florida football not involving Urban Meyer..

Once again proving that Twitter is a great way to prove you’re an idiot in only 140 characters: The Clippers’ Matt Barnes, DURING last night’s game, after he was ejected , tweeted, “I love my teammates like family, but I’m DONE standing up for these n—as! All this s— does is cost me money. …” The tweet was later deleted.

 

Just a hunch that a year from now the GOP will be back to Benghazi as an anti-Obama theme. Because as much of a mess as the Obamacare rollout has been in some ways, is it that different than a lot of big high-tech rollouts? Or say, airline mergers? The biggest mistake made may have been the assumption this was going to be smooth from the get go.

 

Bill Littlejohn:  USC coach Ed Orgeron’s handwritten thank-you letters to each member of the Trojan marching band defied school tradition–every word in each note was spelled correctly”

More than some assembly required.

Posted November 14, 2013 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

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Police in Sweden were called to a potential “domestic incident”, when a neighbor heard “banging and screaming.” It turned out to simply be a couple trying to assemble IKEA furniture. Although I have to wonder….how many domestic incidents have started over trying to assemble IKEA furniture.

In San Francisco a Muni train left the station without an operator after the driver got out to check a door and forgot to set the emergency break. Well, it could have been worse.. could have happened to an airline pilot.

The 9-0 Kansas City Chiefs said WR Dwayne Bowe, who was arrested for marijuana possession this week will start Sunday night against the Broncos. (Bowe is 2nd on the team in catches.) It’s all about that Golden Rule. Bring in the Gold, you don’t need to follow the Rules.

Anyone else find it just a bit ironic that the party complaining about how all Obamacare policies must cover maternity, is the party that also usually makes a big show of being pro-life?

The University of Florida president and AD have both expressed confidence in embattled coach Will Muschamp, despite the Gators 4-5 record. Well, they have about 15 million reasons, as Mushamp has five years left on his contract at an average salary of $2,928,791.

The Secret Service is under investigation again for sexual misconduct, this time stemming from an alleged incident where a supervisor met a woman in the Hay-Adams hotel, and accidentally left a bullet in her D.C. hotel room. Former President Bill Clinton no doubt has already volunteered to investigate.

Contradicting a statement he made after the 2012 election, John Boehner now says the House will not take up immigration reform this year, saying it’s “too complicated to rush.” So is the Speaker angling for a post-politics job of serving on one of Bud Selig’s “blue ribbon committees?”

Mariah Carey on her American Idol experience with an unnamed co-judge. “It was like going to work every day in hell with Satan.” And somewhere Simon Cowell is thinking “Who am I, chopped liver?”

Ben Roethlisberger, on Detroit Lions DTs Nadmukong Suh and Nick Fairley “You’ve got to be careful. You’ll end up dead if you’re not careful.” Suh’s response “I’m not a killer.. I guess I can take that somewhat as a compliment.” Wonder if he thought of adding “And I’m not a rapist either.”

Lululemon founder Chip Wilson is apologizing for offending customers by saying their brand’s yoga pants just don’t work for “some women’s bodies.” Although no doubt Wilson is being secretly cheered by people who have been at restaurants, stores, etc where some of lululemon’s customers have proved his point.

Toronto mayor Rob Ford’s latest admission, that he did purchase illegal drugs. Well, it could be worse, at least Ford didn’t get in a drunken stupor and text pictures of his junk.

The Toronto City Council voted 37-5 to ask Mayor Rob Ford to take a leave of absence. Wow. Those 5 must really love to watch train wrecks.The Toronto City Council voted 37-5 to ask Mayor Rob Ford to take a leave of absence. Wow. Those 5 must really love to watch train wrecks.

From Alex Kaseberg:  Toronto mayor, Rob Ford, admits to buying illegal drugs. Of course we Americans are shocked. A politician who paid for something out of their own pocket? Never happens here.

What’s too painful to remember…

Posted November 13, 2013 by left coast sports babe
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#2 Michigan State knocked off #1 Kentucky, 78-74 in men’s college basketball tonight. For those Wildcat freshmen, this could be the  most painful memory of the whole six months they spend in college.

There’s a SF Bay Area controversy over an idiot radio talk show host named Damon Bruce who said that women don’t belong in sports. He’s back at work after a one-day suspension. Wonder how long he’d have been out if he went after an ethnic group instead of an entire gender?

A Kansas woman apparently is trying to trade her wedding ring for tickets to the Chiefs home game against the Broncos Dec 1. Wonder if she’ll offer her husband for playoff tickets?

A man arrested earlier this month for a DUI in Michigan blamed the fact that he had drunk so much on the Wolverines’ loss the day before. If that excuse had worked police would never be able to get a DUI conviction during baseball season in Chicago.

Cowboys owner Jerry Jones has been on Dallas talk radio complaining about the play calling and defensive coverage in Sunday night’s loss to the Saints. And yeah, maybe if Jason Garrett had coached a different game, Dallas might have only lost by 3-4 touchdowns.

Although wholesale coffee prices have fallen by almost a third in the past year, Starbucks and other coffee shops haven’t reduced prices. Well, guess that was about as likely as airlines reducing fuel surcharges when gas prices drop..

Crooks are stupid item of the day: Four burglary suspects in Northern California were arrested after police saw a photo on Instagram of $120 worth of food they had purchased at Carl’s Jr with a stolen credit card.

Sarah Palin is branching out, now she says of the new pope “He’s had some statements that to me sound kind of liberal, has taken me aback, has kind of surprised…” What’s next, Sarah can see the Vatican from her house?

One of the frequently heard complaints about the ACA, is people, especially men, saying things like they don’t want to pay for insurance that covers things like maternity. Although by that token, why should women pay for insurance that covers things like ED and prostate care?

 

A friend wonders why Facebook suggests that because she “likes” Wendy Davis, she would also “like” Rick Perry. Maybe FB assumes that she too is a comedy writer…

 

Bill Clinton today on Obamacare and cancelled plans “I personally believe, even if it takes a change in the law, the president should honor the commitment the federal government made to those people and let them keep what they’ve got.” Brave words from a ex-President who himself did such a great job with healthcare reform.

During the trial of Costa Concordia captain Francesco Schettino, A crew member testified that the captain did not “fall” into the lifeboat as he said, but rather “jumped into the lifeboat.” “I’m shocked,” said absolutely no one.

The DOJ has finally decided to allow the American Airlines – US Airways merger. Well, it’s another chance to see if two wrongs CAN make a right.

American Airlines and US Airways have finally gotten approval for their merger. Now, time to start a pool on when they will announce an aircraft repainting fee?

The Braves are leaving for a new suburban stadium in 2017, and today Atlanta’s mayor said that the city will then demolish Turner Field. The stadium, built for the Olympics, is less than 20 years old. Are we sure there isn’t a way to give it to the Oakland As?

 

From Marc Ragovin:  “The Atlanta Braves have announced that they will be moving to a new stadium in a few years. Team officials say the new site will be much more convenient for fans not to go to come playoff time.”

Not quite vetted.

Posted November 12, 2013 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

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Today was Veteran’s Day.  When we honor those who have served our country by going to the mall to buy stuff made in countries we have fought against.

President Obama honored a 107 year old WWII veteran at a D.C. Veteran’s Day ceremony. Guess John McCain was unavailable?

Downton Abbey has been renewed for a fifth season. Glad they have the $$$, or rather pounds. But since the fourth season started in Sept. in England and won’t start in the U.S. until Jan 5. 11 days after the season four finale, American fans are thinking, how much more to get us on the same schedule?

Amazon is teaming up with the U.S. Postal Service to deliver packages on Sundays. Procrastinators of the world, rejoice!

Proof, again, that God does have a twisted sense of humor: A white supremacist trying to establish an all-white enclave in North Dakota found out during the taping of the “Trisha Show” that he is 14% “sub-Saharan African.”

Who’d a thunk a couple weeks ago looking at this Dolphins vs. Buccaneers game that Tampa Bay’s coach might be the one least considered to have totally lost is locker room.

And when the previously winless Buccaneers actually beat the Miami Dolphins tonight, did the 0-14 1976 Tampa Bay Bucs crack open a case of generic beer?

Maybe it’s because I am a woman but somehow I’ve never thought female athletes were any less tough because they don’t threaten to kill each other in the locker room.

Getting awfully tired of Facebook prompting “Where did you grow up.” This implies all of us on Facebook ARE grown up.
The student body president of Oregon’s Northwest Christian University just came out – as an atheist. And sadly there are people who probably thought “well, at least he’s not gay.”
McDonald’s is coming out with a new white chocolate mocha drink for the holiday season. Just the thing for those who’d rather drink the calories they get from a Big Mac.The Lakers announced that Steve Nash, 39, will miss at least two weeks with “nerve irritation.” ‘Nerve irritation?” What, as in “you punks are irritating my nerves, get off my court?”

From T.C.   on the Red Sox’s top offseason targets: “Free agents Jacoby Ellsbury, Mike Napoli, Stephen Drew and the two guitarists from ZZ Top.”

Saints be praised.

Posted November 11, 2013 by left coast sports babe
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New Orleans Saints 49,  Dallas Cowboys 17.   The only time they usually see scores like that in Louisiana is when LSU schedules one of their out-of-conference cupcakes.

How bad did the Saints make the Cowboys defense look? In the Kiffin family for a change, Lane was feeling sorry for his dad.

Looks like it’s a good thing for the NFC Least that the NFL’s requirements for winning your division aren’t as strict as the NCAA’s rules for being bowl-eligible.

SF 49ers, who play New Orleans on the 17th,  are just hoping the Saints offense tired themselves out by going up and down the field so often.

So who wins the “most embarrassing day in the division” award? The Colts for getting spanked by the Rams or the Titans for losing to the Jaguars?

Now backup Green Bay quarterback Seneca Wallace is injured. Think that Brett Favre’s wife has hidden his cellphone?

Singer Miley Cyrus smoked a joint on stage and twerked with a dwarf during the MTV EMAs today. Guess she’s not happy with only offending music fans on one continent.

It just gets better…. Apparently GM Jeff Ireland spoke at a Dolphins meeting this week and singled out head coach Joe Philbin for creating a team of high character. Would hate to see what a team of low character was….

But not that long ago I’m sure the folks at MNF looked at tomorrow’s Dolphins Bucs matchup and thought – “how are we ever going to come up with a story line for this turkey of a game?”

Two people were shot and injured, one reportedly an innocent bystander, after a shooting at New York City’s Bryant Park ice rink. If only all the skaters had been armed.

Hillary Clinton made a speech in SF stressing bipartisan unity. Translation, going to be fun to see her and Chris Christie each trying to claim ownership of the centrist platform in 2016, after they both try to run in opposite directions in the primary.

Fired up?

Posted November 9, 2013 by left coast sports babe
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Pat Knight says he hopes his father Bob, who still holds a grudge against Indiana University for firing him, will eventually return for a basketball game. Maybe the Hoosiers could someday invite Bob to throw out the first chair?

With tentative calming in the Middle East, prices at the pump are tumbling. Americans haven’t seen the cost of gas fall this fast since Taco Bell introduced 49 cent tacos.

 

 

Green Bay Packers chairman Ted Thompson says that the situation with Brett Favre was “just one of those car wrecks.”. Uh, sir, the situation with Brett Favre was a punchline, the situation in the Dolphins locker room is a car wreck.

 

from Jim Barach:  “Miami Dolphins lineman Richie Incognito was accused of harassing a woman at a golf tournament in 2012. To which Dolphins front office executives are saying she should have just punched him out.”

 

Cal lost to USC 62-28.  This is getting bad enough that poor Bear alums are going to end up honorary Cubs fans.

 

Stanford had the ball for almost 45 minutes against Oregon. But time of possession isn’t quite everything. In an ACC game today the times were 28:58 and 31:02 respectively. The team that didn’t quite have the ball for half the game? Florida State. The Seminoles beat Wake Forest 59 to 3.

Ted Cruz on the Tonight Show. “I’m a big believer in health care reform I think we ought to reform health care so it’s personal, it’s portable, it’s affordable. We ought to empower patients rather than government bureaucrats getting between you and your doctor.” Nice words, where was Cruz when the GOP controlled government and COULD have put in their own reform? (Oh, that’s right, on his wife’s Goldman Sachs plan. Never mind.)

Eastern Michigan fired their football coach apparently for “inappropriate language.”. Wonder if part of the inappropriate language was “one and eight.”

A man was arrested at LAX last night, after he took a handgun from his luggage Friday night in baggage claim at Terminal 3, the site of last week’s shooting. The gun was unloaded, and was legal as he had declared it upon check-in. He was charged with brandishing a weapon in public area, and presumably terminal stupidity.

At Seattle-Tacoma Airport, a man ran through a TSA checkpoint, then a door onto the tarmac. He then raced up a stairway and punched through a door window at the end of a jetway to get onto an American Airlines plane. He was arrested without further incident on the plane. Guess airline security fees are going up.

(Jon Nedry wonders “Did he check his bag or carry on? In addition to criminal charges, there may also be checked bag charges.”)

In Fairfax County, Virginia, election officials have acknowledged they somehow haven’t counted 3,000 or so absentee ballots. The registrar is looking into it. Maybe they ended up in Chicago?

And the winner might be…?

Posted November 8, 2013 by left coast sports babe
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Not sure if there are any winners in this Dolphins mess. Except maybe ESPN… which suddenly is looking at higher ratings for their upcoming Tampa Bay-Miami MNF game. Americans love train wrecks.

 –

Apparently Condoleezza Rice turned down a search committee that was looking for new Penn State president. Guess she feels there really are more uncomfortable jobs than having to explain away a war over non-existent WMDS.

 In an anonymous survey of NFL players, 20.8% said they would rather have Richie Incognito as a teammate, and 47.2% said they’d rather have Jonathan Martin. Makes sense. Whatever they think of the situation, Martin would be easier on their wallets.

Just wondering, if any of the Patriots thought Aaron Hernandez was dangerous, would reporting it have been a violation of the locker room code?

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s lawyer said Friday his client is “considering rehab.” So congrats to all those who had November 8 in the pool.

A new shark species was reportedly found off the Carolina coast. This has to be a John Edwards joke.

Stocks jumped Friday on a much better than expected jobs report. (204,000 new jobs when economists had predicted 120,000) I blame Obama.

CBS News is now apologizing for a “60 Minutes” story on Benghazi which has been heavily quoted by Republicans. They said they were “misled” by a source who claimed he was there during the attack, but who now admits to lying. Guessing this will not make the headlines on Fox News.

A boy who weighed in at 14 pounds when he was born at a hospital in Utah appears to be the biggest baby born in the United States so far this year. An inventory of things around his bed in the nursery included a stuffed animal, a rattle, a pacifer, and a letter of introduction from Les Miles. – See more at: http://hqprincegeorge.com/home/hart_attack/news/v/Local/292719/Hartley-Miller-s-Hart-Attack-November-8-2013-Edition-444#sthash.zcSaHpbW.dpuf

And the photo below was taken by my friend David Lombardi.    #Nerdnation at its finest.  Three of Stanford’s star football players in full postgame nerd regalia, right down to the glasses with plastic tape.  Very well played, gentlemen.

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Now the GOP has Super PACS gearing up to fight the Tea Party. Didn’t we see a variation of this plot in a novel long ago written by Mary Shelley?

From Bill Littlejohn ” A boy who weighed in at 14 pounds when he was born at a hospital in Utah appears to be the biggest baby born in the United States so far this year.An inventory of things around his bed in the nursery included a stuffed animal, a rattle, a pacifer, and a letter of introduction from Les Miles”

Jimmy Kimmel suggested that parents play a joke on their kids pretending that they had eaten all the kids’ candy. Hope the 15 seconds of fame with the resulting clips on tv is worth the years of future therapy bills.

Nerd party

Posted November 8, 2013 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

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Big nerd party.  In Palo Alto.  And please note, the band is NOT on the field.  Guess they learned with the 1982 Big Game with John Elway.

You do get the sense more than a few Stanford players got really tired of being referred to as “nice” and “soft” this week. #fearthetree

Well, many expected the Stanford Oregon game would be a shutout at halftime. They were right.

And before tonight, for anyone who was buying the b.s. narrative that Stanford football players are overly nice and soft, I have two words for you – “Richard Sherman.”

The SF 49ers expect Aldon Smith to play Sunday against the Panthers, less than two weeks out of rehab and after both a DUI and being arrested on felony weapons charges earlier this year. I’m sure the fact that he is a star has NOTHING to do with it….

The FDA is trying now eventually to remove all artificial trans fats – like shortening and margarine, out of the food supply, because they are too dangerous to people’s health. Vindication for all of us who never gave up butter!

Steve Patterson, the new University of Texas AD, says he doesn’t expect major changes. And alums are thinking, well, we were kind of hoping the football team starts actually winning….

Charming. Dolphins GM Jeff Ireland, the one who asked Dez Bryant if his mom was a prostitute, apparently that suggested that Jonathan Martin “punch” Incognito. And the New Orleans Saints are thinking “Hey at least we went after people who weren’t on our own team?”

NY Yankees manager Joe Girardi says that Alex Rodriguez’s hearing is “complicating” things for the team this offseason. With all due respect, hasn’t A-Rod complicated things for the team since the day he arrived?

The NY Times reports that CIA is paying AT&T more than $10 million per year for “limited access” to the company’s of phone records. Actually AT&T only was probably officially charging them $50,000 – the rest is overage charges.

John Boehner will not bring ENDA to the House floor, because he “believes this legislation will increase frivolous litigation and cost American jobs.” Well, and if anyone is an expert on frivolity and costing American jobs, it’s the man who had Government workers stay home for 2 weeks over not voting on a spending bill..

A California man went skydiving for the first time on his 100th birthday. Guess he wanted to wait until his great-grandchildren were old enough to cosign his liability waiver?

From Gary Bachman  “The Chicago Cubs hired Padres bench coach Rick Renteria as their new manager. Renteria hopes this experience will someday enable him to land a job as a major league manager.”

A new video has emerged showing Toronto Mayor Rob Ford in an apparent drunken rage threatening to “murder” someone and “poke his eyes out.”  This man doesn’t want to be mayor, he wants to join the Miami Dolphins.

Roger Goodell had to be wishing for anything to change the NFL headlines this week with the Dolphins mess. So now we have Tony Dorsett along with other former stars announcing they have been diagnosed with CTE.

Stupor califragilisticexpialidocious

Posted November 7, 2013 by left coast sports babe
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Toronto mayor Rob Ford’s numbers are up since he admitted to smoking crack “in a drunken stupor.” And somewhere Anthony Weiner is thinking “why didn’t I just say I sexted ‘in a drunken stupor’?”

 

Chase Harrison, who just turned 18, was elected to the school board in Millburn, NJ. Good for him. And he’s probably too young to do anything in a drunken stupor.

Blockbuster says they will close its 300 remaining U.S. stores by Jan 2014. Americas were shocked – Blockbuster still has stores?

All this talk about the Virginia governor’s race and what it means for Obama, the Tea Party, etc….. Going with the most obvious answer, isn’t it just possible that voters, especially women, simply disliked Terry McAuliffe a little bit less than his opponent?

Newly-elected Virginia Governor Terry McAuliffe has appointed a former Republican State Senator to his transition team. Makes sense. McAuliffe owes the GOP a big “thank you.” Had they not nominated Cuccinelli, Terry probably would never have been elected.

Amazing to hear the accusations that Jonathan Martin is “soft.” Especially since for his college career the man’s job was to protect the blindside of his QB – who might have been just a bit of a target – the QB was Andrew Luck.

Nice story for the evening. On Friday, Jonathan Moscone, 49, son of former SF Mayor George Moscone, will marry Darryl Carbonaro, 46. Somewhere both Moscone and Harvey Milk are smiling.

 

Tim McGraw joined 7 other country music stars on stage at the CMA’s to honor Taylor Swift, saying at one point she’d opened for all of them. It was an impressively large number… although far less than the number of ex-boyfriends she’s written songs about.

(Gib Worley asks “Didn’t she open for them too?”)

Starbucks says the company will hire 10,000 veterans and military spouse over the next five years. Figuring if people can handle Iraq and Afghanistan, they can handle some of these prima donnas who have such exacting requirements for their precious coffees?

A new line of Candy Crush actually candies is expanding and soon will be available in stores across America. I can see it now, “I’m not fat, I’m just at level 232.”

Why are all these men claiming that Jonathan Martin is partly to blame for being bullied? It’s about as unimaginable as claiming that a woman who is sexually harassed at work must be doing something to cause it….. Oops, never mind.

Just wondering, if Jonathan Martin had gotten angry enough to beat up Richie Incognito and put him on the Dolphins’ injury list, would many consider that a better response? #NationalThugLeague

Former Rutgers basketball coach Mike Rice, who says he’s changed, but “Now I have to sit back and take it, listen to people say I was abusing my players? I was an idiot, but I never abused anybody.” Uh, if he thinks that Rice is still an idiot, and he hasn’t changed much.

Big winners and losers?

Posted November 6, 2013 by left coast sports babe
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 Chris Christie in his victory speech says it’s about showing up. And that “you don’t just show up six months before an election, you show up four years before an election”. Which might be a pre-emptive explanation why he might spend much of the next four years in Iowa, New Hampshire, South Carolina etc.

Chris Christie won, but the Houston Astrodome lost and will be demolished. It would be tacky to make a joke about a mixed night for supersized entities.

Will anyone EVER top this political excuse? Toronto mayor Rob Ford is now admitting he smoked crack “probably a year ago” but it was because he was in a “drunken stupor” at the time.

Toronto mayor Rob Ford’s approval ratings actually went up after it came out that he smoked crack cocaine. So how many members of Congress sent their staffers out on the street for a little…shopping?

ESPN headline about how poor Ohio State might go undefeated but still might not make it to the BCS title game. Uh, here’s a hint for the Buckeyes. Next time don’t make your out-of-conference games against Buffalo, San Diego State, Cal and Florida A & M.

Berkeley police said a fight between two Cal football players in the locker room resulted in one being taken to a hospital. Bears fans were shocked, they didn’t think a member of this year’s team could actually hit anyone.

Wannabe Darwin award of the week, as in lucky he wasn’t shot: A 21 year old Central Connecticut State University student accidentally caused a three hour lockdown at the school when he walked through campus dressed as. Snake Eyes costume from G.I. Joe for Halloween. Complete with tactical vest, camouflage pants, mask, plastic sword and handgun….

How quickly things can change. Before last weekend, Miami Dolphins’ fans thought the worst thing happening with their team was a four game losing streak.

in a recent YouGov poll, only 15% of Americans said they had ever excused themselves “from a social event or a conversation to go to another room to check email.” The other 85% presumably just used their phones during the middle of the event or conversation.

Joy Johnson, 86, the oldest woman to run the NY Marathon, died the next day. And coach potatoes around the world are saying “See, exercise is dangerous to your health.”

 

NY Giants safety Antrel Rolle on the Dolphins’ bullying scandal: “Was Richie Incognito wrong? Absolutely But I think the other guy is just as much to blame as Richie, because he allowed it to happen.” Well of course, Martin should have brought a gun to the locker room, in fact, let’s arm all NFL players…..

 

Now, who knows how this will all come down, but if the NFL decided to suspend the Saints’ Sean Payton over bounties, going to be really interesting to see what they do with Dolphins’ Joe Philbin and his locker room.

 

Jeff Ireland, GM of the Miami Dolphins, probably had no direct involvement with the current scandal. But Ireland is the man who in 2010 asked Dez Bryant, born to a 15 year old who did time for drug dealing, if his mother was a prostitute. What a classy team….

And then there’s the short form reaction to the whole Dolphins mess: men are pigs.

Can you hear me now?

Posted November 4, 2013 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

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In a recent survey, only 9.1% of men said they have ever paid for or received payment for sex, down from 17% in the 1990s. Which means either men have found alternatives to prostitution, or they think the NSA might be monitoring their phone calls.

U.S. Rep Mike Michaud of Maine, who is running for Governor, announced Monday he’s gay. The coolest thing, it wasn’t even much of a national headline. #progress

So why do stores have Christmas merchandise up as soon as Halloween is over? Presumably because people don’t buy much Thanksgiving merchandise.

Just maybe a sign that we have too many lawyers? A sign on Starbucks’ Banana Pecan Walnut Cake: “These products may contain nuts and other allergens.”

John Boehner says he opposes ENDA, which would prohibit discrimination against gay and lesbian employees in the workplace, saying it possibly could put a financial burden on businesses. Which means the bill may never see the House floor. Maybe supporters could get the speaker to put it to a vote if they added a provision prohibiting discrimination against orange people.

Despite Nick Foles’ 7 TD performance against the Oakland Raiders, Eagles coach Chip Kelly will not name him the team’s #1 QB. Guess Kelly wants to see how Foles performs against a professional defense?

Baja Fresh says they are celebrating “Men’s Health Month” with a coupon for free guacamole and chips with any order in November. Right, because nothing says “Men’s Health” like eating an entire order of guacamole and chips with your tacos or burritos.

I admired Charlie Crist when he was a Republican, now he’s running for for Governor as a Democrat, with the slogan “Together, we can get Florida back to common sense.” And they say politicians don’t dream really big anymore.

In California, the Tea Party’s Tim Donnelly will announce his run for Governor tomorrow. And Jerry Brown is thinking “Christmas is coming early.”

(Donnelly btw, originally founded the Minutemen Party in California, and was caught last year at TSA with a gun in his carry-on.  For which he did not have a permit…)

A Michigan woman who dressed up as a Boston Marathon bombing victim on Halloween, posted the picture online and wore it TO WORK, has apparently lost her job. Presumably not just for her tastelessness but her stupidity.

Another day, another QB injury, this time Aaron Rodgers…. And yes, Tim Tebow, apparently you ARE chopped liver.

So we may not ever know exactly what happened, but now the Miami Dolphins have suspended guard Richie Incognito late Sunday over “misconduct”related to the treatment of teammate Jonathan Martin. Great, as if concussions aren’t enough, another reason not to want your kids to play football.

Glad the Miami Dolphins finally took a belated stand against what appears to have been over-the-top behavior by Incognito. Scary thing, is that just as with the Saints and the bounty program, do we really think that football just had one bad actor?

Keep thinking about this Richie Incognito case. If he was that abusive to a 300 lb teammate, how did he treat, for example, the women in his life?

And while bullying isn’t really funny, couldn’t resist this from my Chicago-born friend Alex Kaseberg:  “Apparently bullying is not unusual in pro sports. Just in the World Series, the Boston Red Sox taunted the St.  Louis Cardinals from the dugout by saying they played like a bunch of Chicago Cubs.”

The mighty, fallen and almost fallen.

Posted November 4, 2013 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

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After today’s Nick Foles performance, Michael Vick has to be very glad the NFL doesn’t treat QB’s who no longer are top dog, the way he used to treat his pit bulls who were no longer top dog….

Cowboys, at home, barely escape a 1-6 Vikings team. Going to go out on a limb here and say the 2014 Super Bowl winner is not going to come from the NFC East.

Good thing the NFL doesn’t use strength of schedule in playoff seeding. Because a come-from-behind win at home against a winless team probably wouldn’t have earned the Seattle Seahawks any computer ranking points.

You do think editors could have safely gone to bed last night having already posted the headline “Kenyans win NYC Marathon.”

A 7 year-old Virginia boy wore a KKK costume for Halloween. His mom actually made the costume for him, said he understood the risk of wearing it, and that it’s a “family tradition.” What’s scarier, that these people breed, or that they can vote?

Former Speaker of the House Jim Wright, 90, was denied a voter ID card because he only had a TCU faculty ID and an expired driver’s license. Sounds like the new Texas law is doing exactly what it’s supposed to be doing, making it harder for Democrats to vote.

As Sarah Palin continues to make headlines, it’s enough to make you long for the days of comparative oblivion of failed running mates like Lloyd Bentsen and even by comparison Joe Lieberman and John Edwards.

Embattled Toronto mayor Rob Ford, seen on video apparently smoking crack, now is apologizing for being “hammered” in public. And Bill Clinton is thinking, “I got harassed for my definition of what ‘is’ is?”

So the alleged LAX shooter, a young man who was apparently anti-government, is getting the best free government medical care now, and will have healthcare in prison for the rest of his life….

 

Charlie Crist, the former Republican Governor of Florida, will on Monday formally announce his candidacy to run again for the job. As a Democrat. Some criticize him leaving the GOP. But thinking, Crist, a moderate, has to feel the GOP left him.

From Gary Bachman  “Justin Bieber was allegedly seen sneaking out of a brothel in Brazil. With all the money Bieber makes, why would he feel the need to sell his body.”

 

Mitt Romney is now saying “They don’t come better than Chris Christie.”  Well, except Paul Ryan and all the others I put in front of Christie on my short list for a running mate.

Mitt Romney left Ted Cruz off his list of electable Republicans in 2016. Well, if anyone knows about unelectable….

 

Okay, creative readers,  this should be fun. Apparently Mitt Romney and his campaign internally referred to Chris Christie as “pufferfish.” Any guesses as to what nickname Christie might have for Romney?

Let it be, whatever it was…

Posted November 2, 2013 by left coast sports babe
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Paul McCartney, 71, says he and Yoko Ono, 80, have ended their feud. Which is either a sign of gracious maturity, or that they can’t remember why they disliked each other in the first place.

Phrase I’d nominate for oblivion: “Keeping bowl hopes alive.” Right, because everyone plays football in hopes of that magical 6-6 season.

Washington, D.C. is thinking of decriminalizing marijuana. Sounds good but there’s the danger of members of Congress smoking. Which might at least make them mellower but also lethargic and unable to accomplish anything… Oops, never mind.

Ted Cruz says his father was just “making a joke” when he said President Obama should go “back to Chicago, back to Kenya” at an event last year. Maybe. Or maybe Cruz is afraid of birthers telling him he should “go back to Texas, back to Canada.”

Despite videos surfacing that purport to show him smoking crack, Toronto mayor Rob Ford said again that he will not resign. At least until he figures out the steps to run next for mayor of Washington, D.C.

Alabama had a bye week this Saturday. Which means the Crimson Tide has about as much a chance of losing as they do against their usual out-of-conference cupcakes.

Apparently all 13 suspects arrested for credit card fraud at Barney’s stores this year were minorities: 10 black men, two black women, and an Asian woman. But one question, so how many white people may have committed credit card fraud, and weren’t arrested?

While Cal made it within a touchdown in their 33-28 loss today to Arizona, the Bears, with only a win against Portland State, look poised to run the table to be 0 for the conference. On the other hand, Cal does look to be in the lead for the “Pac 12 team most likely to be offered $1 million to play Alabama.”

The FCC is working on a proposal to require all NFL games to be shown in their teams’ home markets, even when the games don’t sell out. And football fans in Tampa and Jacksonville are crying – “Haven’t we suffered enough?”

No woman no crime?

Posted November 2, 2013 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

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Another day, another high-profile shooting. For all the words that have been made PC recently, there seems to be little need to change “gunman” to “gunperson.”

 

 

We know very little about the LAX shooting. But a few things we know for sure. Many will call for more stringent gun laws. And the NRA will say that whatever the gun laws were, they would not have made a difference in this case. (And someone will no doubt claim this is a reason why air travelers should be armed…)

 

Allegedly the LAX suspect was carrying a note saying he wanted to “kill TSA and pigs.” So what will one likely result of his shooting be? More TSA and security hired at LAX.

LAX Gunman is reportedly Paul Anthony Ciancia, 23. And a number of liberals are probably thinking “Whew, he’s not Muslim.” And some conservatives are probably thinking “Darn, he’s not Muslm.”

 

And now back to the silly stuff…    Because even on bad days  there is always silly stuff.

A man is suing the KC Royals because of injuries to his eye plus pain and suffering when he was struck by a 4 ounce foil-wrapped hot dog thrown into the stands by the team’s mascot. Time for some no-texting while watching baseball laws?

 

Lots of hype for next week’s Thursday night NFL – “Adrian Peterson vs. RGIII.” Alas for the NFL Network, the two will be accompanied by their respective sucky football teams.

Honey Boo Boo’s family apparently dressed up as the Kardashian family for Halloween. Does this even need a punchline?

 

Michael Jordan, who now owns the Charlotte Bobcats, said “I don’t believe” in having the team deliberately tank in order to rebuild by getting a top draft pick. Besides, since the Bobcats have been 62-168 the last 3 years, losing doesn’t seem to be working anyway.

 

Jacksonville Jaguars WR Justin Blackmon has been suspended indefinitely for violating the NFL’s substance abuse policy. This could really put a damper on the 0-8 team’s season.

 

The NY Yankees have signed Derek Jeter to a one-year, $12 million contract. Which is less expensive than it sounds, as the Captain’s health insurance will be covered by Medicare.

A British Labour politician, unhappy with bipartisan good wishes from his colleagues on the occasion of Prince William’s christening, complained that “valuable Parliamentary time” had been taken up to “congratulate two very wealthy aristocrats for procreating”. The English were shocked – Parliament HAS valuable time?

 

Delta and JetBlue are the first airlines to allow e-readers from gate to gate following the FAA’s ruling yesterday. Of course, some passengers had already discovered a way to read without interruption on a plane – printed books.

 

The San Antonio Spurs beat the Los Angeles Lakers Friday night 91-85 in their first meeting of the season. Otherwise known as the AARP Classic.

 

Iowa LB Marcus Collins was dismissed from the team after a DUI arrest. While he was driving on a suspended or cancelled license, AND while he was already suspended from football for “undisclosed reasons.” Not sure what Collins is majoring in but guessing it’s not rocket science.

 

 

Police have uncovered a 1,760-foot drug smuggling ‘super tunnel’ from Tijuana to San Diego, which has power, vents and its own rail system. The tunnel was so elaborately well-crafted, maybe the states should plea-bargain with its architects to work on California’s proposed high speed rail?

Morning after of the nearly dead.

Posted October 31, 2013 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

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Scariest thing for many of us on Halloween. No more MLB baseball games this season. But only 104 days until pitchers and catchers report.

In Mexico, November 1 is known as “Day of the Dead.”    In the U.S., it’s “National Half-Price Candy Day.”

All the talk about Halloween being such an unhealthy holiday because of kids going out to get and eat bags full of candy.  So what’s the most popular pre-Trick-or-treating meal in the U.S?’    Pizza

Google says they are “outraged” by alleged NSA snooping. They say if anyone is snooping on their customers it should be Google themselves.

Some people say we have children as an excuse to buy toys at Christmas/Hanukkah. Looking at pictures today I’d say there’s an equally good chance some people have children just to come up with adorable Halloween costumes.

Hallmark has changed an “ugly sweater” Christmas ornament they were selling from saying “Don we now our gay apparel,” to “Don we now our fun apparel.” Reportedly due to consumer backlash. But was it homophobic backlash, or backlash from gays who said they would never be caught dead in an ugly sweater?

Image

Dell Computers is admitting that some of its new laptops smell like a cat litter box. Are they sure it’s the machine and not the latest version of Windows.

An NFL game ended Thursday night in overtime on a safety? That’s almost as unbelievable as a baseball game ending on an obstruction call.

Kim Kardashian told Jay Leno her selfie in a skimpy swimsuit was her “big, like, middle finger to the world.” I thought the Kardashians themselves were a big middle finger to the world.,

So the new FAA regulations say passengers will be able to use their cellphones on planes with the doors closed, but not for phone calls nor text or email. And of course all passengers will obey that directive….

A number of media outlets are trying to make something out of the fact that Pamela Anderson cut her long blonde hair into a pixie cut. Perhaps they are oblivious to the fact that most men don’t pay attention to Pamela for her hair….?

Now there’s medical marijuana for pets. So what’s the next product, cat and dog food flavored like Doritos?

From T.C.  “Last night, the Red Sox won the World Series at home in Boston for the first time since 1918 vs the Cubs. Baseball fans were shocked, the Cubs were in a World Series?”

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From Bill Littlejohn   “O.J. Simpson can still vote in Florida while thousands of others can’t—-they’re hoping that some day he can find 2000’s ‘real voters'”

It’s over.

Posted October 30, 2013 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized

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Okay, congratulations to the Boston Red Sox. But I think I speak for mothers everywhere when I say “Can you shave now?

Everyone’s happy in Boston tonight. Well, except scalpers who had game seven tickets.

Will Tim McCarver’s next act be telling Americans how much more he knows about retirement than any of us?

Although the Red Sox were World Series champions in 2004 and 2007, fans in Boston are talking about what a historic occasion this is because the team hasn’t won the Series clincher AT HOME since 1918. And Cubs fans are thinking “Just STFU.”

Thinking if the Angels’ Mike Scioscia had pitched to Barry Bonds like the Cardinals’ Mike Matheny pitched to David Ortiz, the SF Giants would have a third trophy with little flags at A T & Park.

The World Series beat MNF in the ratings. Which could be a sign that Americans really do consider baseball the national pastime. Or that most of us don’t give a damn about the Seahawks and Rams.

Bob Barker is returning to the “Price is Right” for his 90th birthday. It will be like he never left. Especially for Bob himself, who probably won’t remember leaving.

The Miami Dolphins had to fix their cheerleader web site yesterday because it was sending mobile users to a pornography site. Presumably they noticed the problem when traffic to the cheerleader site went up 1000%?

London archaeologists just unearthed a Roman eagle statue that they believe dates from the 1st or 2nd century. Apparently the sculpture hasn’t been seen since it was featured on an early episode of “Larry King Live.”

A Wisconsin man was arrested after coming home drunk from a Halloween Party and dangling a child upside down from an overpass. Presume he was dressed up as Michael Jackson?

Kanye West, referring to Kim’s near-nude swimsuit selfie, “Michelle Obama cannot Instagram a pic like what my girl Instagrammed the other day.” “What an a**hole,” said most politicians on both sides of the aisle. “Uh, I’m willing to  chair the investigation of  this picture,” said Bill Clinton.

The last funeral home in Palo Alto, California is closing tomorrow and the property has been bought by Yahoo’s Marissa Mayer. Insert Yahoo Mail joke here:

A Fargo, N.D. woman named “Cheryl,” told a local radio station that when “fat” kids come by, instead of candy on Halloween she’ll hand out letters saying “Your child is, in my opinion, moderately obese and should not be consuming sugar and treats.” Why do I feel confident “Cheryl” is single?

Apparently in Denver authorities dealing with legalized marijuana are grappling with some who are okay with the law, but object to the smell. So they are trying to regulate smoking in open areas. Maybe when Denver figures it out they can pass the same laws about perfume.

Indifference

Posted October 29, 2013 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

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Tuesday is National Cat Day. And most cats are thinking, isn’t EVERY day National Cat Day?

 

Tuesday was also the NBA’s opening night. Which means we’re only 6-7 months from when the games start getting meaningful.

For all those baseball fans who realize sadly that Wednesday could be the last MLB  game of the year, there’s a silver lining: It’s also the last time we have to listen to Tim McCarver.

San Diego State played their third annual Halloween baseball game Sunday, with everyone on the field in costume. Big deal, say Cubs fans. For 100 years we’ve been watching guys dress up like professional baseball players.

Ah that Lane Kiffin legacy. According to CBS Sports, USC is projected for a bowl this year. Except that it’s Dec. 21, the New Mexico Bowl, against San Jose State….

(Says my friend Gib Worley, Kiffin did less with a pack of Trojans than Sean Kemp.)

Detroit Lions WR Nate Burleson, who broke his arm in a car accident caused by trying to save a pizza from sliding off the passenger seat, says he’s received a year’s free pizza from DiGiorno. Uh, except if Burleson has this much trouble driving with a pizza, do the Lions really want him messing with an oven?

 

Jeb Bush made a speech last night where he decried “crony capitalism.” And we thought Abbott and Costello had a hard time keeping straight fares during “Who’s on first.”

 

The Cardinals’ plane was stuck for hours  on the tarmac in St. Louis.    Has Will Middlebrooks been charged with obstruction?

 

Golden Gloves announced for baseball tonight. Not a single winner on the West Coast. So apparently MLB voters have as hard a time staying up to watch those 1030p East Coast games (or highlights) as the folks from ESPN.

Following his latest arrest, Chris Brown has entered rehab. Must mean he’s serious. About avoiding prison.

Johnny Manziel, asked who he’d most like to party with, first came up with… Charlie Sheen. Let’s see, time to open the pools. Date Manziel signs his first NFL contract? Date of his next arrest? Pick both and make it a daily double.

 

Just as an aside to this whole NSA tapped cellphone mess, somewhere is George W. Bush thinking “oh, so that’s why Cheney told me Angela Merkel liked having her shoulders rubbed?”

Currently dismissed Notre Dame QB Everett Golson in an SI interview. “I had poor judgment on a test It wasn’t due to poor grades or anything like that.” Asked “Did you cheat on a test?” “Yeah, something like that.” “SOMETHING” like that? Since Golson is planning to reapply in 2014 and play again, maybe he should figure that the rules might be a little more specific..

The federal administrator in charge of the Obamacare site apologized today and said “HealthCare.gov can and will be fixed.” And wonder how many in the GOP said “Hmm, time to hire some (more?) hackers..”