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Missed calls?

July 18, 2016

 

MLB’s Joe Torre sent a memo to managers and GMs telling them to stop arguing balls and strikes “This highly inappropriate conduct is detrimental to the game and must stop immediately.”
Uh, Joe, what about the “highly inappropriate conduct” of so many missed calls?

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Alphonse Taylor, Alabama’s starting right guard and a pre-season All-SEC pick was arrested for alleged DUI Sunday am. Well, no doubt Nick Saban will suspend him for at least a quarter of the season-opener, which is against…. USC.
Never mind, I am sure Saban will take care of matters internally.

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Two Florida teens were playing “Pokemon Go” in a car outside a house at 130am when the homeowner, hearing a noise, fired several shots at them. The kids were uninjured but found several bullet holes in the car in the morning. So what’s next for players, Pokeguns? ‪#‎ifonlytheywerearmed‬

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So when Scotland leaves after Brexit will it no longer be the British Open? ‪#‎TheOpen‬

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Although, seriously on a lighter note has there ever been a more riveting sports competition between two men over 40?  #Hoorayforoldfarts

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More sad news this morning, this time out of ‪#‎BatonRouge‬ . Seriously this ‪#‎goodguywithagun‬ idea is not working in the US.

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Trump today – “How many law enforcement and people have to die because of a lack of leadership in our country? We demand law and order.”
So if the Donald gets elected he’s just going to demand people stop shooting each other? If only there wasn’t that pesky 2nd amendment.

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The president of the Cleveland Police Patrolmen’s Association wants Gov. Kasich to temporarily suspend “open carry” for the sake of security during the RNC convention.
So where is Trump’s reply telling the police how much safer they will be with all those “good guys with guns?”

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Actor Antonio Sabàto Jr.will apparently now speak at the ‪#‎RNCConvention‬ for Trump. Even ‪#‎DWTS‬ is going, “who?”

 

So Mike Pence in a joint “60 Minutes” appearance with Donald Trump spent much of his time trying to explain the Donald’s positions in a more measured way. So will Pence be known as “The Trump Whisperer?”

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Not so friendly skies?

July 16, 2016

Michael Folk, a United pilot who serves in West Virginia House of Delegates tweeted: “@HillaryClinton You should be tried for treason, murder, and crimes against the US Constitution… then hung on the Mall in Washington, DC”
And here United thought their worst PR nightmare this week was a $2.25 million fine for creating a new flight just  for the head of the Newark airport agency.

 

Donald Trump unveiled a new “Trump Pence” logo where the T and P that looked they were “hugging” were removed. Was Trump afraid the logo wouldn’t be allowed in religious businesses in Indiana?

 

And in case anyone despaired of American ingenuity, well, there was the now deleted Trump-Pence logo, and then the “safer” version put out by Planned Parenthood:

pp.jpg

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Why Sarah Palin isn’t speaking at GOP convention next week. According to Trump “She was asked. It’s a little bit difficult because of where she is. We love Sarah. Little bit difficult because of, you know, it’s a long ways away.”
So Palin can see Russia from her house, but she can’t see her way to Cleveland?

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So many skipping ‪#‎RioOlympics‬. What a shame fans can’t watch world’s best golfers compete in international location ‪#‎sarcasm‬ ‪#‎BritishOpen‬

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Heard ‪#‎BritishOpen‬ commentator Saturday morning  describe ‪#‎PhilMickelson‬ in tough spot after tee-shot, “He’s going to have to hit the ball lefthanded

You can tell after ‪#‎AllStarGame‬ ‪#‎MLB‬ has reached serious part of TV season: Saturday game of the week & ESPN games both ‪#‎RedSox‬ ‪#‎Yankees‬

 

Here’s the thing with the ‪#‎RedSox‬ ‪#‎Yankees‬ TV saturation: Sure, they are big market teams with followings. But then it gets to the postseason and there are all these teams doing well that no one has seen, and then MLB wonders why ratings aren’t higher.

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Trump says running mate Mike Pence was his “first choice from the start.” And then the Donald wants us to believe Hillary is the dishonest candidate.

 

Trump introduced Mike Pence. touting the Indiana Gov’s supposed economic successes in Indiana. “This is the primary reason I wanted Mike — other than that he looks very good….”
So Pence is a consolation prize since Trump couldn’t pick his daughter?

 

Back to baseball detour:  Let’s put this in perspective. Santiago Casilla has blown 5 for an 80% save rate. There are only 8 closers who are having worse seasons by percentage, and only 7 by OBA. Time for a change? ‪#‎SFGIants‬.

 

The Cleveland Indians sacrificed a chicken to help catcher Yan Gomes out of a season long slump. It was, however, a chicken they bought at Target. So cancel the ‪#‎PETA‬ protests.

 

It’s been a rough year for Turkey, and the tourism industry is also now really suffering. Not sure what the country can do to entice visitors back – maybe they can quickly create a lot of Pokestops and gyms?

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And maybe they could give free smart phones with PokemonGo to those on watch-lists. Can just see all these completely distracted would-be jihadists “Allahu Akbar…I just got to level 12….”

 

 

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Under pressure?

July 15, 2016

 

ESPN reports that the Yankees, at 44-44, are 38 losses away from their first under .500 season since 1992.
(No punchline, just with all the crap going on in the world I felt like sharing it.  And after tonight, 37.)

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Roger Goodell “I think all of us have evolved a little bit on the gambling. To me, where I cross the line is anything that can impact that integrity of the game.” “Integrity of the game?!” And Goodell said it with a straight face.

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Our long national nightmare is over: Tom Brady has announced he will “no longer proceed with the legal process,” and serve his four-game Deflategate suspension.

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‎GOP‬ ‪#‎TrumpPence‬ ticket has ‪#‎TP‬ logo. If some creative ‪#‎Dem‬ isn’t selling bathroom tissue by Monday, will be very disappointed in America

New slogan for @HillaryClinton – “Clinton 2016, because TP will just take America down the toilet.”

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Will ‪#‎MikePence‬ support right of Indiana businesses not to display that tightly interwoven TP logo on religious freedom grounds? ‪#‎TrumpPence‬

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With Mick Jagger having another child at the age of 72, how long before some company comes up with a combo pack of father-baby diapers?

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There has been an attempted military coup going on in Turkey and apparently at the moment “it is unclear who is in charge.”
Well, the same can often be said of Washington, D.C.

 

This is not a good weekend for Europe. But have to wonder, just how upset is Donald Trump that events have overtaken his VP selection for headline news?

 

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Looking at the Emmy nominations makes me feel old- I remember when network shows actually got nominated.

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So now we have this new summer “Black Friday” and all these announced sales? For what reason, because somehow Americans don’t have enough stuff? ‪#‎sarcasm‬

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Newt Gingrich, in a last ditch attempt to overtake Mike Pence on the crazy train to be Trump’s running mate: We should “test every person here who is of a Muslim background, and if they believe in Sharia, they should be deported,”
Of course, those who are anti-minority, anti-gay and/or anti-women for “Western” reasons, well, not only should they not be deported but heaven forbid we stop them being armed.

 

 

Jeb Bush, in an op-ed today in the Washington Post said some in the GOP were “making us seem anti-immigrant, anti-woman, anti-science, anti-gay, anti-worker and anti-common-sense.”
SEEM????!

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Allons enfants de la patrie

July 15, 2016

Got busy and was late to post a ‪#‎BastilleDay‬ message. And then it was no longer a “Happy Bastille Day.” On the other hand, if terrorists take the joy from celebratory holidays then the bad guys have truly won. So, here’s an early wish – “Happy 2017 Bastille Day.”

 

It’s getting really tiring to say, if we stop laughing, the bad guys win. But here, on Bastille Day,  “Quand tu regarderas le ciel, la nuit, puisque j’habiterai dans l’une d’elles, puisque je rirai dans l’une d’elles, alors ce sera pour toi comme si riaient toutes les etoiles. Tu auras, toi, des etoiles qui savent rire.”  From Le Petit Prince, for Nice.

En Anglaise,  “The Little Prince,”  “In one of those stars I shall be living. In one of them I shall be laughing. And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing, when you look at the sky at night.”

Too many laughing stars tonight.

 

Forget wars & bombings, if we really want to stop ISIL introduce them to ‪#‎PokemonGo‬ They’ll be too distracted to plan any real damage.

 

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Of course sports is insignificant compared to the killings in Nice. But it sure would be nice to have the distraction Thursday night  of a baseball game.

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Some mixed stories about the robot at Stanford Shopping Center that allegedly ran over the foot of a small child. Including that the child may have gotten a bit away from his parents and approached the robot on his own.
Now, it’s too soon to know the exact details, and presumably there is surveillance video, but robots, dogs, fountains…. shouldn’t parents at the mall also be responsible enough to keep a close eye on their young children?

 

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Tim Tebow posted tonight saying his appearance at the GOP National Convention is “just a rumor.” Maybe because WWJD means even Jesus would say “Are you nuts?”

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List of speakers is out for the GOP convention. Even Dancing with the Stars ‪#‎DWTS‬ is thinking “Couldn’t they get any real celebrities?”

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Bill O’Reilly “I stand by Roger Ailes 100 percent,” saying he’s the “best boss” he’s ever had. Uh, yeah, well while I have never been an Ailes fan, pretty sure Roger never hit on O’Reilly.

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The Log Cabin Republicans have complained that the GOP passed most anti-LGBT platform in history. Well, they should be just thrilled about Trump’s pick of Indiana Gov. Mike Pence, who originally signed into law one of the more anti-LGBT bills in recent history.

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Upscale cruise line Seabourn is collaborating with Molton Brown tor “Signature Scents” to remind “guests of the experience of their Seabourn cruise long after they’ve returned home – “Immersive Samphire & Eucalyptus, and “Inspiring Basil & Vetiver.”

Now that’s Seabourn. I shudder to think if Carnival Cruise Lines follows suit

 

 

Mick Jagger, 72, is reportedly expecting his eighth child, with current Melanie Hamrick, 29. Of course this time, late night feedings will be no problem. Jack Flash will be jumping up to pee.

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A solution to voter apathy?

July 13, 2016

So imagine what turnout could be in November if we put ‪#‎Pokestops‬ in voting booths. #‪#‎PokemonGO‬

 

At Stanford Shopping Center in California, a roving security robot allegedly ran over a toddler’s foot and knocked the child down. Was the robot texting at the time?

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So the MLB All-Star Game is over, and now we again realize that after a voting process many people didn’t take very seriously, the result actually counts. Sort of like the GOP primary.

 

Tim Duncan, in talking about his retirement from the NBA, said he could “probably still play, but “It wasn’t fun at times. And I always said when that point comes when it’s not fun anymore then I’m done.”
And many of the 76ers, Knicks and Kobe’s ex-teammates,  for starters,  said “You mean it’s supposed to be fun?”

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NBA commissioner Adam Silver just said that Kevin Durant going to the Warriors is “not ideal from a league standpoint.” Well, I’m sure that makes the Lakers feel so much better about their 2011 vetoed trade for Chris Paul.

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In Nashville, a man had his face covered with toilet paper while he robbed a store. Witnesses said he appeared a little flushed.

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The College Football Playoff is considering moving the semifinals from Dec. 31. “”We’re thinking about if New Year’s Eve is the way to go.”
Uh let’s see, last year’s Orange and Cotton Bowl semi-finals on Dec. 31 had 38.5 & 36.5 % drops in ratings from the year before. What was their first clue?

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Interesting to see how many Republicans are upset by GInsburg’s anti-Trump comments and want her to recuse herself in cases going forward. Of course, these are the same people who wanted Scalia to recuse himself when his son was working for the firm George W. hired for Bush vs. Gore. ‪#‎sarcasm‬

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Forget what she thinks of Trump, now that the 2nd US Circuit Court has denied Tom Brady’s appeal, we really need to know what Supreme Court justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg thinks of the Patriots.

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Indiana Gov. Mike Pence is on Trump’s VP short list. Before anyone gets the sense that the Donald is considering getting off the crazy train, remember that in 2012 then congressman Pence likened the Supreme Court’s ruling upholding the Democratic health care law to 9-11.

 

As Trump decides on  his running mate, has anyone told Donald unlike marriage, he can’t just trade his choice in later on a younger model?

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Trump apparently will announce his VP pick Friday. “It’s a little bit like ‘The Apprentice,” said Newt Gingrich, “You find out sooner or later who the last one standing is.”
Forget “The Apprentice,” isn’t it more like ‘Last Comic Standing.”?

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The GOP is reportedly $6 million short of the $64 million fundraising goal they had for the convention next week in Cleveland. Can’t Trump get Mexico to pay for it?

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Another reason Tim Duncan might have waited until this week to retire – it was too late for him to have to been “honored” at the ESPYs.

 

 

But the best of the ESPYs, if that’s not an oxymoron, was a great speech, seriously, from Craig Sager, diagnosed with terminal leukemia, “I’ve run with the bulls in Pamplona. I’ve raced with Mario Andretti in Indianapolis. I have climbed the Great Wall of China. I have jumped out of aeroplanes over Kansas. I have wrestled gators in Florida. I have sailed the ocean with Ted Turner. I swam with the oceans in the Caribbean. And I have interviewed Gregg Popovich, mid-game, Spurs down seven..
If I have learned anything through all of this, it is that each and every day is a canvas waiting to be painted, an opportunity for love, for fun, for living, for learning.”

Categories: baseball jokes, basketball jokes, football jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Supreme court jokes, Uncategorized
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Midsummer almost-classic?

July 12, 2016

Tonight was David Ortiz’s last All-Star game as Big Papi is retiring. The Red Sox slugger could become even more beloved if he takes Joe Buck with him.

 

NL loses ‪#‎AllStarGame‬ again, along with home field advantage for ‪#‎WorldSeries‬, after stranding 10. Clearly ‪#‎Madbum‬ should have pinch hit.

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Just thinking ‪#‎JohnnyCueto‬ may be regretting how well he bonded with his ‪#‎KCRoyals‬ teammates last year. ‪#‎AllStarGame‬

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Marlins pitcher Jose Fernandez said  tonight he’d groove fastballs to David Ortiz in All-Star Game because “I want to see him hit a home run.”
Well, not like the game means anything… other than home field advantage in the World Series. ‪#‎SMH‬

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Tim Duncan skipped his own retirement news conference today. But no doubt Kobe Bryant will soon call a press conference to discuss how it felt for him to play with Duncan.

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So now the Holocaust Museum in Washington D.C. has had to ask PokemonGO players to stop playing the game – in their museum. Maybe some of these idiots should be playing it instead in traffic.

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Another Tesla autopilot crash this weekend, this time nonfatal. The driver apparently reported that he did not have his hands on the wheel, and he did not hear warnings. But the car’s warnings are in English and he speaks Mandarin.
Beginning to think these cars should come with copies of the latest Darwin awards.

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The Black Panther Party says they are going to protest at the GOP convention, and “if it is an open state to carry we will exercise our Second Amendment rights because there are other groups threatening to be there that are threatening to do harm to us.”
Can’t wait for the NRA’s defense of gun rights on this one.

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#‎BernieSanders‬ today “I have come here today not to talk about the past…” Who wrote his speech, Mark McGwire?

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A man identified only as “John Doe 150” said when he was 14 he told Joe Paterno about abuse by Jerry Sandusky and that the Penn State coach responded “‘I don’t want to hear about any of that kind of stuff, I have a football season to worry about?'”
Would be less awful if that hasn’t been the response of big-time college football and the NFL to most off-field issues..

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Fox News has suspended Newt Gingrich’s contract. “Due to the intense media speculation about Gingrich’s potential selection as Donald Trump’s V.P candidate, we felt it best to half his contributor role on the network to avoid all conflicts of interest that may arise.”

But until now, Newt has been “fair and balanced?” ‪#‎SMH‬

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In Florida a woman was taken to the hospital for evaluation after she drove into a house and told police she was praying with her eyes closed. This is not I think what Carrie Underwood meant with ‪#‎Jesustakethewheel‬.

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#‎BernieSanders‬ didn’t exactly look thrilled to be on stage today with ‪#‎HillaryClinton‬ Maybe he and ‪#‎ChrisChristie‬ can form a support group.

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Donald Trump, upset about Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s negative comments about him, says she should leave the bench “as soon as possible.” Uh, if the Donald thinks Elizabeth Warren is aggravating wait until he starts really jousting with Notorious RBG. ‪#‎passthepopcorn‬

 

 

Donald Trump on RBG “I think it’s highly inappropriate that a United States Supreme Court judge gets involved in a political campaign, frankly.” Right, they should wait until after the vote and then determine the result.

 

 

 

During a memorial for the slain Dallas police offices, which was also attended by George W. and Laura Bush, President Obama stated at one point ‘We flood communities with so many guns that it is easier for a teenager to buy a Glock than to get his hands on a computer.’

Obama was criticized by many conservative for being political. But none of them said he was wrong.

(maybe the President should have said, any teenager with a gun who wants a computer could easily steal one?)

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Not with a bang nor a whimper

July 11, 2016

No farewell tour for Tim Duncan,  unless you say it was the same quiet tour he was on for almost two decades.

Of course unlike Kobe, Duncan figured his last season would extend beyond the regular season.

 

#‎TimDuncan‬ will be in Hall of Fame for many reasons. But this stat will probably never be matched again. He played 19 years, for ONE coach.

 

Draymond Green was arrested on assault charges in Michigan after what a police source called “basically an altercation between two guys.” And at this point, the Warriors and NBA have to be thinking “Well, at least it wasn’t a woman.”

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Congrats to ‪#‎JohnnyCueto‬ for being named NL All-Star game starting pitcher. Not a bad consolation prize for ‪#‎SFGiants‬ not getting Zack Greinke

 

You could have actually bet on the Home Run Derby winner tonight in Las Vegas. And if you seriously bet, and care, you just MIGHT have a gambling problem.

(But if you bet on Celebrity Softball you DEFINITELY have a problem.)

 

 

Ok, probably didn’t want to see him risk injury with 50 plus swings. But would have been fun to see a ‪#‎MadBum‬ cameo in ‪#‎HomeRunDerby‬

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San Diego Padres All-Star Wil Myers today told the media “East Coast Mexican food is better than West Coast Mexican food.” Has someone checked Myers for concussions?

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So many top ‪#‎NL‬ pitchers won’t be playing in this year’s All-Star game you’d almost think it was an Olympic event.

(or as my friend Steve L. says “or the GOP convention.)

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Jordan Spieth is the latest golfer to withdraw from the Olympics. If this keeps up maybe Tiger Woods should consider going to Rio – he could win by attrition.

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United flight from San Francisco to Frankfurt delayed almost two hours due to “catering difficulties.” Wouldn’t it have been faster to call Domino’s?

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Starbucks is giving all US store employees and managers at least a 5% raise this year, plus improved stock benefits. And soon no doubt a generous low-interest loan payment plan for their regular customers.

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#‎PokemonGO‬, the hottest new app in years, but it has security risks. As in players are likely to walk into trees. other people, & traffic.

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Donald Trump today called himself the “law and order candidate.” As in “I make my own laws and don’t follow orders.”

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GOP now pushing for a perjury probe against Hillary Clinton over her emails. Because of course they wanted the same probe with the Bush administration over those alleged WMDs. Oh, wait, never mind.

 

Got a free sample of Eye Repair Cream today, a solid white cream that claims to “reduce the look of dark circles and puffiness.” On the back – “For external use only.” ‪#‎beammeupScottietheresnointelligentlifeonthisplanet‬

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As ‪#‎BernieSanders‬ prepares to endorse ‪#‎HillaryClinton‬ anyone but me half expect him to say at the last minute “Just kidding”?

 

With joke writing, you never know in advance about getting material, except this week – when Donald Trump will announce his running mate

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Midseason form

July 10, 2016

Sophomore Georgia DE Jonathan Ledbetter was arrested for the 2nd time this year over alcohol, this time for a DUI, in March it was for a fake ID and underage possession.
Shame Ledbetter couldn’t have declared for this year’s draft, he sure seems NFL ready.

 

 

Donald Trump’s son says his dad is looking for a VP who is “immensely capable, immensely competent, garners respect … ” And Republicans are going…hmm, can we get someone like that at the top of the ticket?

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Texas Gov. Greg Abbott reportedly sustained “extensive second- and third-degree burns” on both legs below the knees and both feet.”” and may miss the GOP convention. Sounds painful, bul less so than showing up and pretending to support Trump.

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In Vacaville, California, an alleged drunk driver crashed into a house, then the homeowner went after the driver with a baseball bat. Both men were arrested. ‪#‎ifonlytheywerearmed‬.

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Rudy Giuliani said today that black children have “a 99% chance” of killing each other — so they shouldn’t worry so much about police brutality. Dear gawd. So can he go back to just talking about 9-11?

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Clayton Kershaw threw a light bullpen session today, but the Dodgers say he is not ready to return yet. San Francisco fans wish Kershaw the best, maybe he can pace himself, take care of his back, come back after the next series with the Giants?

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Meanwhile beginning to think @bcraw35 will be added to NL ‪#‎AllStar‬ team as soon as every other infielder is injured. ‪#‎SFGiants‬

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Retired general Michael Flynn, who’s been listed as a possible running mate for Donald Trump, today said about abortion – women “are the ones that have to make the decision” because they are the ones who have to “decide to bring up that child or not.”
Well, that’s one way to recuse yourself from consideration.

 

A group of South Carolina secessionists flew the Confederate flag for several hours at the statehouse today, saying the flag’s take down was the “greatest treason” in the state’s history. Uh…. right. ‪#‎sarcasm‬

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From TC  “Many top rated basketball players and golfers have decided not to participate in this year’s Olympics due to the Zika virus threat. “You know there are drugs available for that” said the Russian track and field team.

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A VERY few good men.

July 10, 2016

Caitlyn Jenner is going to Cleveland for the convention: “I want to support courageous Republicans who advocate for LGBT freedom.” Well, this should be a quick trip.

 

Yeah, all ‪#‎SFGiants‬ fans figured going into the All-Star game they’d be getting big game winning hits from Green, Williamson and Tejada

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Javier Lopez fell out of the dugout today on his way to warm up. The SF Giants lefty was unhurt and retired the only batter he faced. Had it been Affeldt last year, Jeremy would have landed on the DL for three weeks.

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Golf has been absent from the Olympics for 112 years. Today, Dustin Johnson became the latest top golfer say he won’t play due to Zika worries. So would it hurt that much to make the absence 116 years? ‪#‎Tokyo2020‬

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#‎NottheOnion‬ Tubby Reddy, CEO of the South African Sports Confederation and Olympic Committee says of the 2020 Tokyo Games, if Oscar Pistorus “is out on parole, as it seems he will be before then, and qualifies for selection, then I don’t see how there can be a problem.”
An actual killer returning to sports? Isn’t that the NFL’s province?

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The NRA finally came out with a statement about the Dallas killings, expressing “deep anguish” and offering “deepest condolences” etc, but saying nothing about guns
What, no railing about gun-free zones? Or the usual ‪#‎ifonlytheywerearmed‬? Oh, wait….never mind.

Okay, anyone else feel ‪#‎UFC200‬ is the sports equivalent of ‪#‎GameofThrones‬ – one of those “important” things I care and know nothing about.

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In Aragon, a bullfighter has been gored to death during a tournament, which is supposedly the first fatality for the sport since 1987. Well, except for the bulls.

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6 more women are accusing ‪#‎RogerAiles‬ of sexual harassment. So it’s going to be another of those He said, she she she she said situations.

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So are they going to retitle the show ‪#‎FoxandFriendswithBenefits‬?

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Fox News anchor Greta Van Susteren is defending Roger Ailes, saying she’s even been alone with him and “nothing happened.” So maybe Greta’s just not his type?

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Mike Huckabee, criticizing President Obama “I think this is a time when real leaders bring people together, he doesn’t split them apart. He doesn’t need to inject the divisive arguments like gun control at a time of great grief for the nation. And he ought to do for us what Ronald Reagan did after the Challenger disaster.”

Because a sniper ambushing police is the same kind of tragedy as the shuttle blowing up. And I guess Huckabee forgot Reagan was for banning assault weapons. ‪#‎SMH‬

 

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s there really a reason to keep showing the picture of the Dallas police killer? ‪#‎enoughalready‬ ‪#‎justshowpicturesofthemenhekilled‬.

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Now much is being made of how the Dallas police killer sexually harassed at least one woman while he was in the military. Hmm. sexual harassment allegations as way to make it harder for men from getting guns….I could handle that. Not sure the NRA would agree.

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Over armed?

July 8, 2016

When we are still literally cleaning up the site of the last US mass shooting, in Orlando, and now there is another horrible one in Dallas, think it’s pretty safe to say this country has a gun problem.

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Sadly,  anyone but me in the “old enough/young enough” demographic to have (barely) remembered another terrible shooting day in Dallas?   And to have figured that would have been the only actual killing day the city was known for?

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On a lighter note, who knew Canada had professional tennis players? ‪#‎MilosRaonic‬ ‪#‎RogerFederer‬ ‪#‎Wimbledon‬

 

A Delta Air Lines flight carrying 130 passengers landed at the wrong airport in South Dakota last night. Shocking. There is more than one airport in South Dakota?

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Mets manager Terry Collins has replaced Madison Bumgarner, who is starting Sunday with Bartolo Colon on the All-Star team.
So did Collins pick Colon for his arm or his bat?

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Brandon Crawford may not be an All-Star. But he just showed Dbacks why you don’t throw at Buster Posey. Twice. ‪#‎SFGiants‬ ‪#‎byebyebaby‬

(for non-baseball fans, Crawford hit a home run, after the “incident.”)

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The A’s Coco Crisp was suspended one game for tossing his bat in the direction of the home plate umpire last night, and he’s not appealing: “You never want to make contact with the umpire..It came too close. I deserved it.” Responsibility, what a concept.

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A fan climbing on the bleachers at Wrigley Field during a rain delay was taken to the hospital last night when he fell and landed on the warning track. His condition and name are unknown. But I might hazard a guess as to whether alcohol was involved. ‪#‎Darwin‬

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Taj Hotels are advertising free wifi on up to four devices. Scary thing is that there are travelers who probably think that isn’t enough.

follow up joke from my funny friend Alex Kaseberg. “Taj Hotels are advertising free wifi on up to four devices. Scary thing is that there are travelers who probably think that isn’t enough.”

 

 

So whatever “side” you’re on, not exactly fair to claim that killers of other races, political persuasion or religion are inflamed by angry rhetoric, but killers of your own demographic are mentally ill.

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Corey Stewart, Donald Trump’s Virginia campaign chairman, and a GOP gubernatorial candidate “Liberal politicians who label police as racists — specifically Hillary Clinton and Virginia Lt. Governor Ralph Northam — are to blame for essentially encouraging the murder of these police officers tonight.”
But of course Trump’s rhetoric doesn’t encourage anyone to do bad things. ‪#‎sarcasm‬

 

Apparently the single winning ticket for the $450 million Mega Millions jackpot tonight was sold in Indiana. No word on the lucky guy or gal, who presumably will be using the winnings to move out of Indiana.

 

–

Newt Gingrich tonight to CNN: “It took me a long time, and a number of people talking to me through the years to get a sense of this, if you are a normal white American, the truth is you don’t understand being black in America.”
So is this Newt’s way of taking himself out of Trump’s potential VP consideration?

–

Donald Trump said today our nation has become too divided.” Waiting for tomorrow’s speech when he returns to attacking the media, liberals, immigrants, Muslims, etc. and insulting anyone else who doesn’t agree with him.

–

As scary as Donald Trump is, some of the comments on his FB page are much worse: Many blame ALL of the killings on President Obama., some even saying Dallas was orchestrated by the CIA or the administration or liberals to stir up unrest and/or impose martial law.
John McCain had a great moment in his campaign where he corrected a woman who went over the edge on Obama. Guessing we can wait a long while before the Donald might do that with some of his followers.

 

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Enough already

July 7, 2016

Most people are good, most police are good.  Guns make it too easy for the assholes.

 

dallas

(picture taken earlier tonight during the protest.)

 

It really is awful news out of ‪#‎Dallas‬. Not even sure what questions to ask. But more and bigger guns are NOT the answer.

 

 

So every time we see a terrorist attack anywhere around the world many want to make America a lot less of a free country. And yet, when we have shootings, even mass shootings, here at home, those same people wouldn’t dream of making it even a little harder to get guns.

–

Not that the jokes are more important, but laughter does beat crying….So back to the attempts at humor:

 

#‎KevinDurant‬ on meeting ‪#‎Warriors‬ “It was organic. It was authentic.” Is ‪#‎KD‬ talking basketball or becoming a spokesman for ‪#‎WholeFoods‬?

–

Lots of emails from the SF Giants about voting often for Brandon Belt for the All-Star Team, and no doubt other teams are doing the same for their players. So here we have a game that “counts” for home field advantage during the World Series, and the teams are partly filled by good old-fashioned ballot box stuffing. God Bless America.

–

Johnny Cueto leads ‪#‎MLB‬ in complete games. ‪#‎Cueto‬ has had an up-close view of the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ bullpen this season. ‪#‎coincidence‬?

–

Matt Harvey, 4-10 with a 4.86 ERA, is considering season-ending surgery. Of course, the way he’s been pitching, his season as a Mets starter could be ending soon anyway.

–

Cardinals placed Matt Carpenter on 15-day disabled list with a right oblique strain. Starting to feel old, I remember before players had obliques.

–

Amazing, the same House that couldn’t find time for votes on gun control can find time for hearings on Hillary Clinton’s emails. I sure hope this doesn’t distract them from their important business of trying to repeal Obamacare again.

–

Bernie Sanders is reportedly going to endorse Hillary Clinton next Tuesday. Waiting for some of his supporters to claim the endorsement was rigged.

–

Tom Brady has just declined Donald Trump’s invitation to speak at the GOP convention. Did someone inform the Patriots QB that Democrats and moderates buy his jerseys too?

–

Bill O’Reilly showed old pictures yesterday of Barack Obama at a Muslim wedding, as some sort of proof of the President’s real identity. So when will O’Reilly start in with these GOP candidates who insist, despite their voting records, that they are not homophobic because they have attended a gay wedding?

–

Hillary Clinton is a long way from perfect. But just guessing, if she had used a government server for her email Republicans would now be after her claiming she had illegally sent personal or campaign emails with the account, or something. Because when it comes to the GOP and Hillary, as Roseanne Rosannadanna said “It’s always something.”

 

Hardest thing about writing ‪#‎DonaldTrump‬ posts, having to double check all his statements to make sure they’re ‪#‎NottheOnion‬

–

Ted Cruz announced he has accepted Donald Trump’s invitation to speak at the GOP convention. Guess the Donald figured he didn’t have time to start a reality show to find speakers?

–

Britain’s Conservative Party chose Theresa May and Andrea Leadsom as the final two candidates in the race to succeed David Cameron, meaning the next Prime Minister WILL be a woman.
So shall we start a pool in how long it takes Trump to insult one or both of them?

 

‪#‎Trump‬ leaning towards ‪#‎Gingrich‬ as his V.P. choice? So six wives worked for Henry VIII, the Donald thinks it will work for his ticket?

 

 

 

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Leaving on a private jet plane?

July 6, 2016

Oklahoma City Mayor Mick Cornett, on Durant’s departure “We’re stunned…. We’ve been spurned by someone we cared deeply about.” “Tell us about it,” said every basketball fan in Seattle.

–

What’s more surprising at this point? That the SF Giants at 54-33 have the best record in MLB? Or that they have done it while blowing 17 saves.

–

Charles Barkley is now saying that Kevin Durant is jumping on the Golden State “gravy train” to win a ring. Hmm, so did the Warriors turn down Sir Charles’ offer to ride their bench to get himself a title?

–

This upcoming Summer Olympics has an official bug spray company. (OFF) Which kind of tells you all you need to know about Rio now.

–

Ashley Madison has now admitted that some women on its site were actually virtual computer programs. Who’d a thunk it – a website designed for cheaters, was operated by cheaters.

–

Bernie Sanders in a meeting with House Democrats today allegedly said “the goal is not to win elections.” Even Dennis Kucinich is thinking this guy may not quite be in touch with reality.

–

Ben Carson tweeted “Social media provides a great platform for discourse, but we must be careful with the messages we send out.” Yep, someone’s definitely not on Trump’s VP list….

–

Tennessee Sen. Bob Corker took himself off Trump’s VP short list today. This is like “the Bachelor-Bachelorette”, but with many of the contestants just saying no to the rose.

–

Former Fox News host Gretchen Carlson is suing Roger Ailes for sexual harassment. So how long until they make fun of her on Fox and Friends

–

In the UK they have spent 7 years and millions of pounds on the “Chilcot” report, probing the reasons that Britain joined the US in the Iraq war. The 2.6 million word report found that Tony Blair used “exaggerated” evidence to convince the British public that Saddam Hussein had WMDs, evidence that was “presented with a certainty that was not justified.”
But of course none of this is an important as Hillary’s emails.

 

Hour long delay for thousands of passengers on trains in and out of San Francisco due to moron in car trying to beat train across tracks.  He lost. But only damaged car. Alas, no Darwin.

–

Bob Corker, who still supports Trump but withdrew from V.P consideration “His best running mate, by the way, would be Ivanka.”
So is it required for a Trump supporter to be creepy?

–

You really cannot make this “stuff” up. Paul Ryan says Hillary Clinton was “reckless” in handling classified materials, so she should be denied access to classified materials during the general election.
Right, as opposed to the completely un-reckless GOP nominee?

–

From Bill Littlejohn “With the signing of Kevin Durant, the Warriors have more expectations than anything outside of a fertility clinic..”

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She’s got mail.

July 5, 2016

The FBI says they will not press charges against Hillary Clinton. Director James Comey says there was no “clear evidence” of intentional misconduct.  So this will change exactly zero minds on Hillary’s guilt or innocence.

 –

FBI director James Comey did say Hillary Clinton was “extremely careless” but if GOP is going to condemn a lack of judgment with her emails‬ what about those Iraq WMDs?
–
Until today, Republicans admired FBI director James Comey, like they used to admire judge Merrick Garland.
–
FBI director James Comey said “‘no reasonable prosecutor” would bring a case against Clinton for emails. I am sure this will convince the GOP as they’ve reasonably only voted 60 times to repeal Obamacare.
–

 

Paul Ryan tonight said the GOP will hold hearings on the FBI’s decision not to prosecute Hillary Clinton over the emails. Why don’t they run them along with another Benghazi hearing? Would save time.

 

–

Just wondering how many Americans screaming about Hillary ‪#‎Clinton‬‘s email server have any idea what an email server actually is.

–

Now a drug- resistant bacteria has been found in the water off some of Rio’s most popular beaches. Well security at the Olympics may not be as big a problem as previously feared: if this keeps up even ISIL will be scared to go near the place.

–

If Donald Trump wanted to tweet about real ‪#‎RiggedSystem‬, he should have ignored Hillary’s emails & talked about ‪#‎AllStarGame‬ voting.

–

More wins than any team in National League & only one position player in the ‪#‎AllStarGame‬. But ‪#‎SFGiants‬ players need the rest anyway.  (If the bullpen hadn’t blown 6 of 9 last saves they’d have more wins than any team in baseball.)

 

#‎SFGiants‬ now take over the major league lead from the ‪#‎Reds‬ in blown saves. ‪#‎notthetitleyouwant‬

–

ESPN is devoting an hour to the MLB “Esurance All-Star Selection Show” tonight. An hour?! So where’s that hacker who leaked the March Madness brackets when we need him or her?

–

‪#‎SFGiants‬ need to trade for ‪#‎NolanArenado‬ someday if for no other reason than to keep him from batting against them.

–

Best news for ‪#‎SFGiants‬ with ‪#‎KevinDurant‬ to ‪#‎Warriors‬; even in even year, they’re not the SF Bay Area team most burdened w/ high expectations.

–

The Alabama AD self-reported five violations for the 2015-16 academic year against their football team. The school said they were all “secondary violations,” which don’t lead to probation. Well of course, isn’t anything the Crimson Tide football teams do at most a secondary violation.

–

To err is human, to really screw things up requires a computer. This is the response I got today on confirming a hotel night….in midtown Manhattan:
ROOM VIEW – OCEAN VIEW

–

Apparently some parents were upset to find out that Hooters had sponsored a 3-day Cub Scout camp, and sent a few of their waitresses to volunteer. Even more upset, some fathers whose own Cub Scout volunteer days may now be over.

–

Meanwhile, while some Americans freak out over terrorism, more than 60 people were shot in Chicago over the 4th of July weekend; four died.

–

Clinton campaign statement on the FBI decision not to charge her over emails: “We are glad this matter is now resolved.”
Glad for no charges I can see, but “resolved?” Right, like Obama’s birth certificate, or Obamacare for that matter, ever was resolved with many in the GOP… ‪#‎shecandream‬

–

 

Donald Trump today on Saddam Hussein: “He was a bad guy — really bad guy. But you know what? He did well? He killed terrorists.”
Yeah, along with only maybe 250,000-500,000 Iraqis. ‪#‎ThisIShimtryingtobePresidential‬

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USA, USA, USA!

July 4, 2016

Joey Chestnut won the Nathan’s contest with a record of 70 hot dogs today. Who says we need to “Make America Great” again? We still rule in our national sport – eating.

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Kevin Durant’s statement says he is “moving out of my comfort zone to a new city and community which offers the greatest potential for my contribution and personal growth.” Because, gosh, without me the franchise hasn’t won a title in 13 months.

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If ‪#‎Warriors‬ fans are the happiest in the NBA, old Seattle Sonics fans are close behind. ‪#‎Durant‬

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Convenient for Kevin Durant that he announced his decision to leave the Thunder on July 4. Instead of just burning his jerseys folks in Oklahoma City can just tie them to fireworks and blow them up.

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Stephen A. Smith was so upset about ‪#‎KevinDurant‬ signing with the ‪#‎Warriors‬ you almost wonder if he had $$$ on the ‪#‎Cavs‬ to repeat?

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So is the over-under for projected ‪#‎Warriors‬ wins in 2016-7 now somewhere around 77? ‪#‎Durant‬

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Ryan Braun was called out for batting out of order today after Milwaukee manager Craig Counsell submitted an incorrect lineup card. And things for the Brewers this year have otherwise gone so well. ‪#‎sarcasm‬ ‪#‎howhardisittocounttonine‬?

 

 

Pau Gasol, 36, is signing with ‪#‎SanAntonio‬ Part of the ‪#‎Spurs‬ youth movement?

 

Worst thing about 2 1/2 hour rain delay in Cleveland & game starting at 930pm? It  was postgame ‪#‎FourthofJuly‬ fireworks.

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Seems just a little weird to get Happy ‪#‎FourthofJuly‬ message from hotel in London. Maybe watching our election they’re glad to be rid of us.

–

Nigel Farage, who as head of UKIP fought hard for Brexit, and who has been accused of racism and xenophobia, especially with anti-EU ads, announced today he would step down: “I’ve done my bit” to get Britain out of the European Union.
Another who doesn’t want to follow the rule – “You break it, you buy it.”

–

CNN headline “Trump and Clinton to announce VP picks soon.”. Well, considering both conventions are in a few weeks, that seems like a good bet.

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Donald Trump tweeted: “The only people who are not interested in being the V.P. pick are the people who have not been asked!” Wouldn’t it have been more accurate to say “I’ve only asked the only people who were interested?” (Both of them?)

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Trump said yesterday that speaking slots for the upcoming GOP convention in Cleveland are “totally filled,” and there’s a “long” waiting list of more speakers. Hmm, did the Donald go through a list of Bachelor/Bachelorette/Apprentice and other reality TV show applicants?

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Go fourth

July 3, 2016

This 4th of July weekend many Americans will worry about terrorists blowing us up, and then risk blowing themselves up with fireworks.

–

On the other hand, in the hands of professionals….

fourth

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‪#‎KevinDurant‬ says that he will make a free-agent decision by Monday. Then what will ESPN and the rest of sports media talk about?

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Am beginning to wonder if all the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ bullpen has “a little curl, right in the middle of their foreheads…..”

 

Has a team ever both won their division and had the most blown saves in MLB the same year? Asking for a friend. ‪#‎SFGiants‬

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In 1993 ‪#‎SFGiants‬ didn’t make playoffs in part because ‪#‎Rockies‬ lost EVERY game they played against the Atlanta ‪#‎Braves‬. This weekend Colorado was looking just as “good” against ‪#‎Dodgers‬

 

The Arizona Dbacks put Zack Greinke on the 15-day DL with an oblique strain. That Johnny Cueto SF Giants consolation prize is looking better and better.

 –

Tom Hiddleston (who?) and Taylor Swift put on plenty of PDA’s for the cameras this weekend. Too to start two pools? First, when they will break up, and two, when she will write a song about it.

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Face the Nation focused part of their show on Thomas Jefferson and FDR. Just imagining given their complicated personal lives how either president would have done in a social media age.

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Mitt Romney says he will not vote for either Presidential nominee. And this is a man who wanted us to elect him to make the tough choices?

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Some in the GOP saying that the fact the FBI spent over 3 hours with Hillary is a sign there must be something to the email investigation. And of course had it been a five minute interview they would have said it was a sign that there must have a fix in on the investigation.

–

For all the protestations of innocence from the Trump campaign over the six-sided star on the Hillary attack ad, have to wonder, would the Donald excuse the Clinton campaign if it had used that same star with neo-Nazi overtones to attack him?

 

 

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But where are the roses?

July 2, 2016

Anyone but me thinking all this courting and drama around NBA free agents, with very little of importance actually happening, is not that different from watching “The Bachelor/Bachelorette – without all the televised make-out sessions?

 

So many mediocre players are making so much money with ‪#‎NBAFreeAgency‬ Kobe Bryant may un-retire.

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Kevin Durant was apparently “blown away” by the Clippers. “Blown away, huh?” To “a place where there isn’t any trouble?” ‪#‎Somewhereovertherainbow‬ ‪#‎paynoattentiontothatmanbehindthe curtain?

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At Wimbledon, American Sam Querrey stunned top-seeded Novak Djokovic. American sports fans are stunned too – there are still U.S. men playing professional tennis?

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A new study indicates marijuana may e useful in the treatment of Alzheimers. Which could be great news, except for that little short-term memory issue – “Dude, where’s my walker?”

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Sports experts always say that the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ can’t trade for big name players because they don’t have top prospects in their farm system. But the minor leaguers they keep pulling out of their hat are a major reason the team has won over 50 games.

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Thieves near Milwaukee stole a semi-trailer full of cheese valued at $46,000. Well, clearly the cheese was not headed to Whole Foods, where $46,000 worth would have fit in an Austin Mini.

 

 

22 car wreck at the ‪#‎CokeZero400‬: Good news, no injuries, better news, NASCAR makes the ESPN highlights show.

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Donald Trump said that the RNC has “asked him to speak all three nights (of the convention). I turned it down.” He says “I don’t want people to think I’m grandstanding.” Nope, more like people thinking the RNC couldn’t get anyone else.

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Not sure what ‪#‎RNC‬ will do for convention speakers. Even Clint’s chair says ‪#‎Trump‬ doesn’t have a leg to stand on.

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On a serious note, RIP Elie Wiesel. There are a lot of books you get assigned to read in high school and college that are forgettable. “Night” is not one of them.

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Holi-daze?

July 1, 2016

For all my Canadian friends, Happy (now belated)  Canada Day. For my American friends, might be important to remember July 1 matters up north, in case you were thinking of moving if Trump wins in November.

 

–

Bill Clinton met briefly but privately with Attorney General Loretta Lynch this week in Phoenix. And of course some allege that they might have talked about the email investigation.
So the former President was alone with a woman and the rumors aren’t about sex? How the mighty have fallen.

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#‎Lakers‬ signed ‪#‎TimofeyMozgov‬ to a $64 million contract. Even the ‪#‎Dodgers‬ think that’s overspending for mediocre talent.

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OJ Mayo has been suspended from the NBA for 2 years for violating the league’s drug testing program. This is the same Mayo who played one year at USC, was ruled to have accepted improper benefits, got the school’s wins vacated and then entered the draft. Not that I am a Trojans fan but have to admire mean bitch Karma in delayed mode.

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‪#‎Iceland‬ has become so popular with their ‪#‎EURO2016‬ run, if this keeps up some Americans will even learn to find it on a map.

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One more thought for the day on Madison Bumgarner hitting. Now, he may not be the best hitter on the team by a longshot. But how many other pitchers do fans time their concession-bathroom-whatever breaks around making sure you don’t miss an at-bat? ‪#‎SFGiants‬ ‪#‎PitcherswhoRake‬

–

 

And sure, all SF Giants fans knew the team would start off July with a win thanks to Grant Green, Jarrett Parker, and Conor Gillaspie.

–

Reports now indicate that Kevin Durant is “90% likely” to stay with the Thunder. So all of this media free-agent hype may be about as accurate as the supermarket tabloids regularly promising celebrity divorces.

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At Machu Picchu, a man entered a restricted area, and asked someone to take his picture leaping in the air. He then leapt, fell of a cliff, and died. Not often you get a Darwin Award and an Incan sacrifice at the same time.

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So has a team from ‪#‎Cleveland‬ lost since game 4 of the ‪#‎NBAfinals‬? ‪#‎Indians‬ ‪#‎Cavs‬

(my friend Richard Rothschild tells me, well, actually since before game 6.)

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On Delta’s website today, fares from San Francisco to Detroit were apparently showing up for over $13,000 roundtrip, in coach. Well, that’s absurd. Who would ever think it would cost that much for a domestic airfare. Now by the time you add fees….maybe.

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Trump spoke today in Denver following Sarah Palin. So he did that because after Palin there’s a CHANCE the Donald looks sane by comparison?

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A Miami strip club bartender wanted to spend some time with a man who wasn’t her husband, so she told hubby she had been kidnapped. He called the cops, she got arrested. Uh, she couldn’t have found ONE friend to say it was a girls’ weekend? ‪#‎Cantfixstupid‬ ‪#‎Butyoucanarreststupid‬

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Now Al Qaeda and ISIS are both claiming credit for a hostage situation in Bangladesh. I do suppose it’s too much to hope that they might get mad enough to start shooting and bombing each other.

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Donald Trump, on the Supreme Court’s 5-3 Texas abortion clinic ruling: “Now if we had—Scalia was living, or if Scalia was replaced by me, you wouldn’t have had that, OK? It would’ve been the opposite.”
Because 5-4 is the opposite of 5-3? The Donald is not only not qualified to be President, he’s not qualified to teach 2nd grade math.

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Missed the sign?

June 30, 2016

After leading the Brexit movement, Boris Johnson has now said he doesn’t want to be Prime Minister. Whatever happened to “You break it, you buy it.”

–

The Dodgers have put Clayton Kershaw on the DL with a herniated  disc. SF Giants are wishing Kershaw well, and thinking “Don’t risk your career and health, take the rest of the summer off.”

 

Madison Bumgarner was the first pitcher since 1976 to be scheduled to bat for himself in an AL park.  And he doubled to lead off the 3rd in a six-run inning.  Clearly this was all the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ needed to wake them up after a horrible evening.. ‪#‎PitchersWhoRake‬ ‪#‎PitchersWhoInspire‬

 

‪#‎SFGiants‬ played much better defense tonight. Presumably they didn’t want to screw up & have to answer to ‪#‎Madbum‬ ‪#‎Pitcherswhocanhandleabat‬

 

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Johnny Manziel has apparently been suspended four games for violating the NFL’s substance abuse policy. Well, gosh, hope that doesn’t make some team decide it would be risky to sign him.

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Disney World has apparently pulled Louis the alligator, from their Princess and the Frog movie, from the new Friendship Faire Castle Show, and Peter Pan’s Tick-Tock the Croc, from the Festival of Fantasy Parade.
Good thing that poor little boy didn’t get run over in the Anaheim parking lot, or Disney might have had to close Cars Land.

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Rolando McClain, the Dallas Cowboys LB who was suspended for the 1st four games of the 2015 NFL season for violating the league’s substance abuse policy, has now been suspended the first 10 games of this season for violating the same policy.
At some point it’s not a suspension for drugs, it’s a suspension for stupidity.

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The FDA is now saying not to eat raw cookie dough, because uncooked flour can be hazardous to your health. Hmm, sounds like an opportunity for millions of Americans to start describing themselves as courageous risk takers.

–

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Utah senator Mike Lee says he won’t support Donald Trump because Trump attacked ‘my best friend’ – Ted Cruz. Shocking. Cruz has a best friend?

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Gwyneth Paltrow was apparently shocked to hear that Star Magazine declared her “the most hated celebrity.” “What did I do?” Well, cluelessness is a good start….-

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A new USA Today poll shows Americans by 4-1 margin agree that the Brexit vote to leave the EU “was a sign of anger and dissatisfaction that can be seen in other countries, including the United States.”
Wonder how many Americans have any idea what the EU is?

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Mike Ditka has declined Donald Trump’s invitation to speak at the Republican National Convention. Guess he hasn’t been hit on the head THAT many times.

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One of the Istanbul airport attackers was apparently Russian. So much for that Trump-Putin bromance.

 

Donald Trump today, speaking as a plane buzzed overhead “That could be a Mexican plane up there. They’re getting ready to attack.” Isn’t it nice that that Donald is trying to be more Presidential?

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Rolling, rolling, rolling.

June 29, 2016

Following on the NBA championship of the Cavs, the Indians have won 12 games in a row. For those who think Cleveland’s just piling on, don’t worry, the Browns’ pre-season starts soon.

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The NCAA has a new rule that all bowl-eligible teams with 6-6 records must be chosen for a bowl before any teams with a 5-7 record are offered the games.
With all due respect, isn’t a bowl game for a .500 team the football equivalent of a participation trophy?

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The NFL Players Association doesn’t want the active players named in the Al-Jazeera PED report interviewed by the league, but Peyton Manning apparently will cooperate. So long as the interview is sponsored by Papa John’s and Budweiser.

–

 

Michael Phelps tonight won the 200-meter butterfly and became the first U.S. male swimmer to qualify for five Olympics. Whereupon he celebrated by yelling “You punks get out of my pool.”

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2015 Seahawks backup QB Tarvaris Jackson was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon after a woman in Florida accused him of threatening her with a gun last week. Now, newly signed backup QB Trevone Boykin has been charged with assault causing bodily injury after an Dec 31 incident with a police officer at a bar before the Alamo Bowl.
Who’s next for Seattle? Johnny Manziel is available.

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Johnny Manziel says he is going sober on July 1. For the troubled QB’s sake, I hope he’s right. But hard not to quote Inigo Montoya: “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means”

–

–

The Miss Teen USA pageant says they are dropping the swimsuit portion of their competition, replacing it with an athletic wear competition. For all men who only tuned in for the swimsuits, three words “tight yoga pants.

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The California “Adult Use of Marijuana Act” is officially on this November’s ballot. Well, it’s high time.

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‪#‎HeterosexualPrideDay‬. Really? Just go to a lot of frat houses, where every day is ‪#‎HetrerosexualPrideDay‬.

 

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Regarding that story of Christy Sheats, the Texas mom and gun-rights advocate who fatally shot her daughters, reports are now that police had been called out 14 times since 2012 to their home, calls involving Christy’s having a “mental crisis.”
And she was still allowed to have guns? ‪#‎wellplayedNRA‬ ‪#‎sarcasm‬

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Surprisingly little media attention to Istanbul only a day after the attacks. Must not have been any Americans killed. Sigh.

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I miss President Obama already: “Now somebody else who has never shown any regard for workers, who has never fought on behalf of social justice issues, they don’t suddenly become a populist because they say something controversial in order to win votes. That’s not the measure of populism. That’s nativism or xenophobia or worse. Or it’s just cynicism.”

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A new Quinnipiac University poll says Donald Trump has the support of 1% of black voters. That many?

 

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The final whistle.

June 29, 2016

RIP Pat Summitt. If they didn’t have a women’s basketball team in heaven, they do now. And practice starts tomorrow at 9am, sharp.

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Mark Zuckerberg is angering locals in Kauai by building a six foot wall around the $100 million property he bought on the North Shore, thereby destroying the view for everyone else.
Hmm, not sure what can be done. But maybe people taking helicopter rides on the island should fly over, take pictures and post them on Facebook?

 

Kellogg’s is opening a cereal only cafe in New York City. For millennials who don’t know how to make it at home?

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Adam Wainwright almost hit a bird yesterday with a pitch. Although since the St. Louis pitcher isn’t hitting 90 on the radar gun these days, had he hit it, the bird might have escaped with minor injures.

 

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Getting so many urgent “Vote” emails from ‪#‎SFGiants‬ for ‪#‎MLBAllStargame‬ almost wonder if they’ve hired Bernie Sanders?

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Bad news for the Yankees, as Carlos Beltran left the game appearing to have injured his hamstring. At least the SFGiants hadn’t traded away another top prospect to get him for a second time.

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Tony Hawk, at the age of 48, has landed a stunt called a “900” -r a two-and-a-half aerial spin — 17 years after he first accomplished it. Of course, then there was the little matter of getting up afterward.

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The U.S. Supreme Court denied an appeal by a family-owned pharmacy that didn’t want to provide emergency contraceptives to women because of their “Christian beliefs.”
You know, I would take these “religious freedom” people more seriously if they demanded to see marriage licenses from men wanting ED drugs.

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RB Zurlon Tipton, 26, who played for the Indianapolis Colts the past two years, has died. Tipton was apparently trying to take a duffel bag out of his car when a gun inside the bag went off and shot him in the stomach. ‪#‎ifonlyhewasarmed‬.

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So while Bernie is still mulling over a possible endorsement, Elizabeth Warren hit the campaign trail big time with Hillary Clinton. Proving once again, when it comes to politics, women know how to quit whining and get to work.

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Donald Trump attacked Hillary Clinton on globalization and vowed if elected he would use only U.S. steel and aluminum on road, bridge, and construction projects and employ only American workers.
Uh, why wait, the Donald could call tomorrow for all his Trump-branded products only to be manufactured in the U.S by American workers….

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Thought immediately after the latest attack “We don’t know much yet about the awful attack at ‪#‎Istanbul‬‘s ‪#‎Ataturk‬ airport. But that won’t stop ‪#‎DonaldTrump‬ from blaming Obama.”

And sure enough… So Donald Trump of course ranted on Twitter after Istanbul saying “When will the world realize what is going on?” and “We must do everything possible to keep this horrible terrorism outside the United States.”
Uh, except that with all of our US recent mass shootings, the killer, or in San Bernardino one of the two, was born in the United States.

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