Author Archive

Rolling over

January 11, 2017

Cavaliers put up as much a fight against Trailblazers tonight as media did today against President-Elect in Trump Press Conference.

So apparently the Chargers are planning to move to Los Angeles. Sad for San Diego. But LA’s best chance for serious post-season football will still be the USC Trojans.

 

 

#LAChargers haven’t even started playing yet and already on their way to giving #Cowboys run for their money as America’s most hated team.

Just before last year’s Fiesta Bowl, Ezekiel Elliott was cited for three misdemeanor traffic charges in Ohio including driving with a suspended license after his car hit another vehicle, resulting in minor injuries to one passenger. This after several speeding tickets. And today no one was injured after he apparently ran into another car near Dallas.
Thinking just maybe the Cowboys might want to invest in a car and driver?

Former SF Giants closer Santiago Casilla is apparently nearing a deal with the Oakland As. Good for him. At least he won’t have to deal with any postseason pressure.

Taco Bell this month is rolling out their fried chicken taco nationwide – the taco shell is made out of fried chicken, then it’s filled with lettuce, tomatoes, cheddar cheese and avocado ranch sauce.
So for all those fearing the end of the world, here’s one more option to decrease your chances of being around to see it.

Donald Trump on Twitter  today “Russia has never tried to use leverage over me. I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH RUSSIA – NO DEALS, NO LOANS, NO NOTHING!”

He’s going to break his keyboard hitting the “CapsLock” so hard:

Hell is freezing over: “Though we at Fox News cannot confirm CNN’s report, it is our observation that its correspondents followed journalistic standards Neither they, nor any other journalists, should be subjected to belittling and delegitimizing by the president-elect of the United States.”
Standing up for journalists in general? Or are the folks at Fox just worried that they will be the next as seen to be too liberal for Trump?

Unreal. From the sooner to be Tweeter-in-Chief : “Intelligence agencies should never have allowed this fake news to “leak” into the public. One last shot at me.Are we living in Nazi Germany?
Right, because the worst thing about living Nazi Germany was being accused of cavorting with prostitutes. Not to mention that he is complaining about a story involving showers.
Even the bus to hell breaks down on this one.

Would be truly Machiavellian to come up and leak an over-the-top faked story that could be easily disproved, and use that as an excuse to discredit ALL the rest of the bad stories, many of which are actually true. But can’t imagine that a President and his team would stoop so low…… #goldenshowers #sarcasm

A BBC correspondent now says there are “multiple intelligence sources” alleging Russia has potentially embarrassing or compromising material on Trump.
Standby for tweets comparing the “over-rated” BBC to Buzzfeed in 3.2.1…..

 

That moment when you realize #MarcoRubio is now the conscience of the GOP?!!

He’s comedy gold every day, but I’d rather be struggling to write pantsuits jokes. #TrumpPressConference

Which witch?

January 11, 2017

We’re hunting a witch? Well, don’t you follow the yellow, or should I say golden, brick road?

To all those folks who complained about having to explain blow jobs to children with Bill Clinton – how do you feel about “golden showers?”

 

 

So @realDonaldTrump, after helping lead birther movement, now tweets about a witch hunt. Not happy is he when other side has the pitchforks.

 

And after that #ObamaFarewell a whole lot of folks in both parties wonder if it’s too late to repeal the 22nd amendment.

Russians, hackers, questionable business deals, cronyism… Somewhere Richard Nixon is just shaking his head.

CNN reporting that “Director of National Intelligence James Clapper, FBI Director James Comey, CIA Director John Brennan, and NSA Director Admiral Mike Rogers” presented classified documents last month to both both Obama and Trump, including
“allegations that Russian operatives claim to have compromising personal and financial information about Mr. Trump.”
Standby for a fierce response from the President-Elect. Against U.S. Intelligence.

#DeshaunWatson has declared for NFL draft. Hope memories of his great night winning National Championship sustain him during time with the Browns.

While on vacation in the Caribbean, country singer Brett Eldredge posted an online picture of a live snake he found in a toilet. A picture, come on…..as a country singer shouldn’t he write a song about it?

Another celebrity quote, from Nov 11, 2016, about Trump’s mocking the disabled reporter.

“That’s what a 7th grade, 8th grade bully does. And he was elected president of the United States. We would have scolded our kids. We would have had discussions until we were blue in the face trying to get them to understand these things. He is in charge of our country. That’s disgusting.”

Guess Trump didn’t see it. Would have loved to see his tweet saying how much Gregg Popovich is overrated.

 

Manny Ramirez, 44, has agreed to play for the Kochi Fighting Dogs of Japan’s independent Shikoku Island League. Let’s hope Manny being Manny doesn’t affect U.S. – Japan relations.

#MeghanMcCain tweeted “Meryl Streep’s speech is why Trump won.” If she’s such an expert maybe she should have warned dad about Sarah Palin.

Tom Cotton attacked Cory Booker for Booker’s plans to testify against Senate colleague Jeff Sessions as Trump’s attorney general pick. calling it a “disgraceful breach of custom.”.
Where was Cotton’s outrage last year on the Senate refusing even to consider Supreme Court pick, Merrick Garland, or was that somehow a “graceful breach of custom?”

Inside baseball bus to hell time: So do today’s Trump rumors mean that Moises Alou might be getting a call to serve in this administration? Callous, I know.

 

And then there was #1

January 9, 2017

Only bad thing about Clemson’s amazing win is that somewhere Lane Kiffin is smirking.

At the end, only thing that could have saved #Alabama & #NickSaban was the #Stanford band. #NationalChampionship

The National Championship was close to 4 hours long with over  4 minutes left in 4th. Even Yankees and Red Sox were saying “guys, speed it up already.”

Steelers assistant coach Joey Porter was arrested last night outside a Pittsburgh bar after allegedly assaulting the doorman. Porter is charged with aggravated assault, simple assault, resisting arrest, public drunkenness and disorderly conduct.
Wow.. Imagine what might have happened if Pittsburgh actually lost.

On a brighter note for the #Raiders, their 13 point loss to the #Texans was the closest game of Wild Card weekend. @espn

 

Tom Brady about the upcoming game with the Texans “There is nothing easy about this game for our offense.” He had the grace not to add “our defense, however, is salivating.”

Early this morning @realDonaldTrump called #MerylStreep “over-rated.” So congratulations to all those who had “about 8 hours” in the pool.

So if any country wants to launch attack on USA during Trump’s presidency, guess they just need the distraction of a celebrity insulting him.

Marissa Mayer apparently will resign from Yahoo when the sale to Verizon is finalized. Will Mayer then run for office in California touting her business experience?

John Kerry issued a formal State Department apology today for “decades of discrimination against LGBT employees and job applicants.”
Waiting for the House GOP rebuttal.

Donald Trump has fired Charlie Brotman, 88, the Inaugural parade announcer for every President back to Eisenhower in 1957, and replaced him with a 58-year-old volunteer.
Anyone known one of those male cats who gets introduced to a new home and has to urinate in EVERY single corner to mark his territory?

Trump hurting a lot of feelings w/ his inaugural parade. He fires 88-year-old announcer, then tells Chris Christie he can’t be a float.

Trump’s now to officially name son-in-law Jared Kushner as a senior White House advisor per @NBCNews “#IfthePresidentdoesititisnotillegal

An Emirates Air flight from from Muscat, Oman to Dubai was cancelled yesterday after baggage handlers found a loose snake on board. Wonder how they decided the snake was loose – if it was female maybe it wasn’t wearing a hijab?.

Trump met today with the chair of Alibaba. The Chinese company was placed back last month on a list of counterfeit marketplaces by the United States Trade Representative over selling fake and pirated goods. But maybe Trump isn’t worried, figuring no one would want to make knock-off Trump branded merchandise.

 

Monica Crowley, Trump’s choice for director of communications for the National Security Council, was recently accused of many instances of plagiarism in her 2012 book, and in a 1999 Wall Street Journal article. Now Politico says they have found several more instances of plagiarism in her dissertation.
Maybe Crowley doesn’t want to the NSC job, but rather to be Melania’s speechwriter.

Kellyanne Conway complained today about Democrats calling for an independent bipartisan commission to investigate election allegations about Russa. “It’s curious and a little bit humorous that Democrats would talk about anything bipartisan … given how they have vowed to obstruct everything we do.”
Just wondering, where was Kellyanne’s outrage when Mitch McConnell in January 2009 vowed to make Obama a one-term president?

The convicted Charleston mass murderer (yes, I am deliberately not using his name), asked the judge in his death penalty trial not to allow the prosecution to use words like “evil.”
Uh, actually while the word is overused, seems like this is one of those times “evil” is completely appropriate.

Not so smooth sailing?

January 8, 2017

 

On the brighter side for #NYGiants they now have all the time in the world to plan more boat parties.

Four blowout wild-card football games this weekend remind us why baseball is the best sport. No matter how lopsided the score there is always a chance for a comeback.

The Miami Dolphins looked as overmatched against Ben Roethlisberger today as a co-ed in a bar. #Bustohell

Fired coach #SonnyDykes was 19-30 in four years at Cal.  19-30,   Sounds like a possible coaching upgrade for @49ers.

The 76ers have improved to 10-25, and Joel Embiid is talking about the playoffs -“I think we have a chance. We’ve been hot lately.”
Did they legalize marijuana in Pennsylvania and not tell us?

 

Amazing how many who insisted Obama was helped/influenced by foreign Muslims have no problem w/ Russia being helped/influenced by Russia.

To save time money & risk maybe television networks could pick  one joint pool person to report outside per major storm? “Yes, it’s raining/snowing hard” here.

Mariah Carey today said that on New Year’s eve she “was looking forward to a celebratory moment with the world. It’s a shame that we were put into the hands of a production team with technical issues who chose to capitalize on circumstances beyond our control.”
Four words Mariah, “Give it up already.”

On @FaceTheNation @CoryBooker very good in defending Obamacare but looked quite orange. Maybe makeup artist wanted him to look presidential.

 

Martin Shkreli has been suspended from Twitter for harassing woman journalist. What a shame that policy didn’t apply to candidates during the Presidential election.

Hugh Laurie tonight reminded us how much we miss House. Hugh Grant reminds us of what Prime Minister could say to US President #GoldenGlobes

 

If @CoryBooker is elected President in 2020 I would like to nominate #MerylStreep as Director of Communications or Press Secretary #GoldenGIobe

British PM Theresa May asked what she thought about Trump’ s pussy grabbing comments ‘as a woman’.
Her response “‘I think that’s unacceptable but I think Donald Trump himself has said that and has apologised for it.” And “the relationship the UK has with the US is about something much bigger than the relationship between the two individuals as president and prime minister…. it’s a relationship where we feel in the UK we can say to the US if we disagree with something.”
Right, and our President-Elect is so magnanimous in dealing with those who disagree with him. #passthepopcorn

More of the same.

January 8, 2017

Anyone but me thinking – if you don’t have a team or a bet in a particular game @NFL football has become pretty boring.

 

Today’s AFC wild-card winner moves on to play New England. So what’s the real difference between #Raiders & #Texans? About a week.

 

Wonder how many football fans started watching #OAKvsHOU wild-card game & switched over to watching replays of #RoseBowl. #notexactlypretty

Draymond Green after last night’s Warriors’ loss “I’m kind of thrilled that we lost because you usually make corrections when you lose.” If that’s true, the 76ers should be the most correct team in the NBA.

Happiest people in SF Bay Area after #Warriors late meltdown against #Grizzlies must be advertisers who bought future 4th quarter ads cheap.

 

The Limited just closed all their stores. Shocking! The Limited still had stores?

There’s a certain logic to GOP efforts to both repeal the ACA and slash social security. Without coverage fewer people live to collect decades of benefits.

 

In Benicia, California, police had an easy mid-afternoon arrest when an alleged drunk driver crashed her SUV – into a parked patrol car. Your move, Florida.

Democrats in the Senate led by Cory Booker are introducing a bill against a Muslim registry.  Doesn’t matter your religion or ethnicity. If they can register Muslims, they can register you.

Walter Shaub, director of the Office of Government Ethics, is now complaining that the GOP-controlled Senate has scheduled confirmation hearings too quickly for Trump’s cabinet nominees, and so the OGE is unlikely to complete their ethics reviews in time
.
Now had Congress only moved to gut the OGE at the same time as the Office of Congressional Ethics, guessing Trump wouldn’t have tweeted to complain

A CNN review found that Monica Crowley, who will serve as Trump’s senior director of strategic communications for the National Security Council,   plagiarized over 50 sections of her 2012 book ?What The (Bleep) Just Happened,” from many sources. #wearegoingtoneedabiggerswamp

More information regarding the alleged Ft. Lauderdale killer – According to the Anchorage police chief:: He was arrested & charged with criminal mischief after police received a call about a physical disturbance in Jan. 2016. He was arrested again in Feb after he violated an order to stay away from his girlfriend & their apartment. In March, police received another physical disturbance call, but “were not able to establish probable cause for an arrest” There was another DV call on Oct. 15, “but officers were told by a municipal prosecutor not to arrest him”, On Oct. 21, police received ANOTHER call accusing Santiago of strangulation, but could not establish probable cause for an arrest.

Then in November, he told the FBI the CIA was telling him to fight for ISIS.  THEN they took his gun. But they gave it back in December. The same one he allegedly used this week.

Remind me again about that well regulated militia?

 

 

Beyond muskets

January 7, 2017

Some say after a horrifying day like today at Ft. Lauderdale Airport is the wrong time to talk about the incredible reverence we have for gun rights in this country. But if not now, when?

As some call to add security around airport perimeters, important to remember, alleged gunman didn’t storm airport, he flew in as passenger.

 

Just guessing our founding fathers never imagined a world where it would be legal to check a gun AND ammunition on an airplane.

Meanwhile in North Carolina, an 11-year-old boy was showing his 6-year-old cousin the shotgun he got for Christmas. Police say the gun accidentally went off and the girl was fatally shot. #ifonlyshewasarmed

The average NCAA college football game last year was 3 hours and, 24 minutes. While most people, including colleges and conference commissioners think that’s too long, ESPN reports “the biggest challenge, however, is determining how to shorten the games.”
More specifically trying to get the games under 3 hours and still keep 90 minutes of commercials.

 

Atlanta Hawks GM Wes Wilcox apologized after joking at a season ticket holder meeting “I know you guys may be angry with me, but I’m used to it because I have a black wife and three mixed kids, so I’m used to people being angry and argumentative.”
Proving once again that money and power are no guarantee against #cantfixstupid

And with all the problems of the world today, even the Cleveland Cavaliers are not immune. Lebron James this morning “We got to get a point guard.”
#getouttheviolins

 

Wonder how many #Warriors & #Grizzlies fans turned off Friday night’s game after 3 quarters? To quote Julia Roberts in  Pretty Woman – “Mistake, big mistake.”

So Wikileaks has tweeted – “We are thinking of making an online database with all “verified” twitter accounts & their family/job/financial/housing relationships.”
What could possibly go wrong?

So Mexico will pay the U.S. back for the #GreatWall?” Is this the sort of planning that got all of those Trump companies into bankruptcy?

 

Trump doesn’t have time for intelligence briefings but he does have time to get involved in a state race for the head of the GOP in Ohio. He made personal phone calls and sent letters for a woman who supported him to unseat the current chair, a Kasich supporter who had been successful for the party but was lukewarm at best for Trump.
So good to see the President-Elect acting Presidential and above petty vindictiveness.

But yeah, Trump is so  focusing on the important issues facing our country.
Two tweets from this morning: “Wow, the ratings are in and Arnold Schwarzenegger got “swamped” (or destroyed) by comparison to the ratings machine, DJT. So much for….being a movie star-and that was season 1 compared to season 14. Now compare him to my season 1. But who cares, he supported Kasich & Hillary”
#WTF?

 

 

 

Cow town

January 6, 2017

Cowboys’ DE Randy Gregory has been suspended a year for another violation of the NFL’s substance abuse policy, his third suspension of the season. He will be eligible for the 2017 postseason.
It’s all part of the league’s “12 strikes and you’re out” policy..

Biggest problem w/ Dak Prescott is he makes it hard to hate Dallas Cowboys. Asked if he was staying in town for bye week – “Yes, Good try.”

In Texas, a newly elected prosecutor wore a Dallas Cowboys jersey during his swearing-in ceremony last Sunday.  Well, let’s hope he’s never on the case when one of the team is a defendant.

NFL television viewership dropped 8% this season from last, with the biggest drops Sunday and Monday nights. Roger Goodell said last month that the election was “certainly a factor.” Well, yes, that and maybe the fact that the league has a whole lot of really lousy teams?

 

Mariah Carey accused ABC of sabotaging her New Year’s Eve performances for ratings. But hey, for as much as she complains, how often have Americans been talking about a singer almost a week after the ball drops? #Nosuchthingasbadpublicity?

Love it. Now a govt study indicates that introducing children to foods with peanuts from infancy reduces the chance of an allergy by 81%. And that keeping babies and young children away from peanuts has probably resulted in many more allergies.
Sigh, now can they do another  study on babies and a little dirt?

 

New law in California makes it legal to have (one) free glass of wine or beer while in a barber shop or hair salon. So if you don’t love the way your hair looks, at least you don’t care so much.

Last week, reportedly Trump told Chuck Schumer that he liked him better than the GOP leaders in Congress. Today the President-elect tweeted “The Democrats, lead (sic) by head clown Chuck Schumer, know how bad ObamaCare is….”
Of course, the report could still be true, outside of his family, Trump may not really like anybody.

 

So regarding this swamp, when is the President-Elect going to start selling Trump-branded wading boots. Really HIGH wading boots?

Florida AG Pam Bondi, who dropped her nvestigation into Trump U after Donald Trump gave her campaign $25K, is getting White House post. #Refilltheswamp

Joe Biden to Donald Trump “Grow up, Donald. Grow up. Time to be an adult.”
Three words – “Pass the popcorn.”

Paul Ryan says GOP will strip #PlannedParenthood federal funding. Which of course will result in need for MORE abortions. #Prolifemyass

Serious snow storms forecasted this weekend for Alabama, Georgia & Carolinas. Cue the “Trump to be President” & “hell freezes over” jokes.

Fresh start?

January 4, 2017

Fox Sports reports that Chip Kelly, fired by SF 49ers Sunday, he wants to remain in professional football. So Chip is open to joining a team in the SEC?

 

Odell Beckham Jr. loves to complain about being singled out by officials. Well, I’m sure all those pictures of him and teammates on a party boat with apparent drugs all around,  and some of them apparently smoking joints, won’t prejudice anyone against him in this weekend’s playoffs.

OBJ recently said that “even Steve Wonder could have seen”  the missed calls.  Uh, even Stevie Wonder could have seen that posting pictures of the party was a bad idea.

Duke’s Grayson Allen started tonight after his “indefinite” suspension became one game. Well, if he were a college football star it might have been 1 quarter.

Rob Schneider just tweeted “I will put together a consortium of buyers. Please sell me the 49ers,”
So does Schneider hope to make the 49ers great again, or is he planning to use them for a long-running comedy series?

Macy’s is closing 68 stores and cutting 10,000 jobs. #IblameTrump

 

Police say a man in a town outside Frankfurt opened his front door Monday night and found that someone had built a brick wall in his doorway overnight. The wall had to be torn down for him to get out.
Wonder if the guy spent Sunday drinking Amontillado.

 

Whole Foods has a coupon in local paper for $5 off $20 in produce. That’s probably enough of a discount to get a whole extra apple.

Wonder what will happen when #Assange & #Wikileaks go after Trump administration: “It’s my nature.” #Scorpionandthefrog

Now Pence says “1st order of business is to repeal & replace #Obamacare. Replace w/ what? That great healthcare plan GOP had before Obama?

Now @realDonaldTrump picked Wall Street lawyer for head of SEC. Yet another big new alligator who will need to find room in the swamp.

Haven’t heard GOP saying it’s an outrage that Charles Manson is entitled to healthcare while law-abiding Americans are not. Because they don’t believe the latter?

 

“We have two choices: some guy living in an embassy on the run from the law…who has a history of undermining American democracy and releasing classified information to put our troops at risk, or the 17 intelligence agencies sworn to defend us. I’m going with them.”
Quote from that noted commie-pinko liberal Lindsey Graham.

Clowning around

January 4, 2017

 

Someone changed name of #Browns training facility on Google Maps to “Cleveland Clowns.” Prompting demands for an apology, from real clowns

 

But okay friends and readers, since someone went on Google Maps to put the name “Cleveland Clowns” on the Browns training facility, surely bright minds in California can come up with a equally creative map “fix” for the San Francisco 49ers corporate offices.

In a Thai National Park a French tourist who spotted a crocodile reportedly ignored warning signs and went off the trail to take a selfie with it. She is recovering in a local hospital with a leg bite. Another Darwin “missed it by THAT much.”

Last Sunday, a baggage handler for United Express ended up flying from Charlotte to Washington-Dulles accidentally locked inside the plane’s cargo hold,
Well, guess we know the answer to the question -what’s the next low fare option for United after “basic economy” fares?

Brent Musberger last night on Joe Mixon, who was seen on video hitting a woman and fracturing her face “He’s just one of the best, and let’s hope, given a second chance by Bob Stoops and Oklahoma, let’s hope this young man makes the most of his chance and goes on to have a career in the National Football League,”

Actually makes you long for the days when Brent was just ogling the Alabama QB’s girlfriend..

 

ESPN reports that a 32-year-old Starbucks barista won more than $900,000 in the Westgate Las Vegas SuperContest, the world’s most prestigious football handicapping contest.
Shouldn’t that report say “a FORMER Starbucks barista?”

Starbucks barista won over $900,000 in Westgate Las Vegas football handicapping SuperContest. Now he can at least afford his own coffee.

Last week McDonald’s opened a new location on the ground floor of a building owned by the Vatican, around the corner from St. Peters. Perfect for those who want to cheat on their diets and confess at the same time?

In Roane County, WV, a man who was just elected sheriff in November was arrested on his 3rd day on the job, allegedly for stealing meth from the evidence locker. West Virginia?! Time to catch up, Florida.

Three months after the robbery in Paris, Kim Kardashian West has officially returned to social media with a post on Instagram #Ourlongnationalnightmareisover #sarcasm

Megyn Kelly announced she is leaving Fox News. So congrats to all those who had January 3 in the pool.

House Republicans this morning dropped their plan from last night to gut the Office of Congressional Ethics. Who’s in on the pool with me as to when they reintroduce it?

The National Enquirer headline in checkout aisle touts “proof” that Obama was born in Kenya, and says “Trump already bringing dignity back to the White House.”
Standby for Trump tweeting that the Enquirer should be the US paper of record.

Julian Assange denied again that the Russian government was the source of Wikileaks’ hacked emails from the DNC and John Podesta. And why should we doubt the man who denounced censorship on the Kremlin’s “Russia Today” channel?

 

from Bill Littlejohn: “The Golf Channel honored Tiger Woods on his birthday Friday by airing a 15-hour marathon that chronicled his major championship highlights from the 1997 Masters to the 2008 U.S. Open, plus features on his life. In that case, shouldn’t there have been a couple of episodes from ‘Law and Order SVU’ thrown in?” . . .

Wild roses

January 3, 2017

So just the Rose Bowl we all expected. A USC team that lost to Stanford by 17 against a Penn State team that lost to Michigan by 39.

=

Well phooey, I was expecting the #RoseBowl to go at least into quadruple overtime.

If you’re going to miss two field goal attempts in the Rose Bowl, might as well make the last one. #USC

Happiest people in Vegas starting about half-time were those who bet the #RoseBowl “over”, which is 62. #Wedontneednostinkindefense #PennState #USC

Both USC and Penn State offenses in Rose Bowl looked like men against boys. #bustohell

Give Lane Kiffin credit, anyone can be fired from a losing team, how many people can get fired, or ask to leave early, on an undefeated team one game from the national championship.

A spokeswoman for Dick Clark Productions says allegations that Mariah Carey’s New Year’s Eve performance was intentionally sabotaged are “defamatory, outrageous and frankly absurd.”
She’s right; if they wanted to do any sabotage for ratings would have made more sense for a wardrobe malfunction.

In France, a new law mandates workers’ “right to disconnect.”  The law requires companies with more than 50 employees to establish hours when staff should not send or answer emails
At this point France may need to consider a wall to keep potential Americans immigrants out

Hadn’t heard of her but like her style: British singer Rebecca Ferguson will perform at Trump’s inauguration on one condition- that she can sing “Strange Fruit,”  a 1937 protest song.

Trump playing the skeptic re allegations against Russia, “I know a lot about hacking. And hacking is a very hard thing to prove. So it could be somebody else.”
Did Putin tell him to say that?

The House GOP defied chair Paul Ryan and quickly voted to gut the Office of Congressional Ethics tonight. Among other things the proposal would would bar the panel from reviewing any violation of criminal law by members of Congress, accept anonymous reports of Congressional wrongdoing, and make any public statements or hire any communications staff.
Right, because we shouldn’t disturb all those fragile new alligators in the swamp?

In Texas, a homeowner fatally shot a guest at a New Year’s Eve party. KHOU-TV reported that “the owner claimed that a fight erupted between him and the drunken man when he refused to leave, adding that he had no choice but to shoot.”
Your move, Florida.

T.C’s New Year’s thought  “Happy 2017 Everyone! I see that Donald will be writing his own Inaugural speech… and Mariah Carey will be proof reading it.”

Small mercies

January 2, 2017

On a positive note, #BettyWhite survived 2016!

And 49ers, Browns and Rams fans don’t have to suffer watching their teams anymore until Fall 2017.

A Texas state representative is recovering after being shot in the head by a stray bullet after a New Year’s Eve get-together at a home with friends and family. #GodBlessTexas #Ifonlyhewerearmed

 

The SF 49ers have fired Chip Kelly. Wonder who Jed York will now sign to a 3-year contract to be the team’s next interim coach?

A plane is towing a banner today in Santa Clara: “Levi’s Stadium – The House That Harbaugh Built.” Well, the team sucks but at least 49ers fans are still in good form.

Trent Baalke said his firing was “the right thing to do.” Well, for the first time in years the 49ers GM was correct.

Just as well #Browns lost, #49ers with #1 draft pick would be like dog actually catching a car – they wouldn’t know what to do with it

Wonder if Brett Favre is calling the Raiders, who’ve now lost two QBs to injury in two weeks, to say “I’m available.”

The NY Jets would like to thank both Bills and Mariah Carey for making sure that this weekend they weren’t the most embarrassing thing in New York.

The Bills gave up a touchdown today against the Jets on a NY kickoff, when both returners became confused and backed away from a live ball in the end zone….which they should have done if it were a PUNT. Well, it’s only week 17 so maybe a bit too early for players to really know the rules?

The Washington Redskins today fell out of the playoff picture. I’m confused, do we blame Trump or Obama?

If Dick Clark weren’t already dead, Mariah Carey’s performance last night might have killed him.

Mariah Carey apparently thinks her New Year’s Eve performance was sabotaged so ABC could get better ratings. Wow, that’s paranoid enough against the media that Mariah maybe really should be singing at the Inaugural.

Guess President-Elect Trump got the Jed York “Winning with class” memo? “Happy New Year to all, including to my many enemies and those who have fought me and lost so badly they just don’t know what to do. Love!”

 –

 

Donald Trump’s press secretary isn’t happy with the American public; “instead of trying to mock him or undermine him, it’s time that people started to give him credit for actually getting things done.”
Uh, but okay, Obama’s still President, Trump hasn’t actually gotten anything “done” yet.
But rest assured, the American people are ready on January 21, for better or worse.

And to end on a cheerful note:  Again, happy new year.  May your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions

Happy New Year.

January 1, 2017

Not often as a Californian for nearly 40 yrs, I ever admit any East Coast supremacy. But they did make it to 2017 first.

Mariah Carey didn’t really melt down during New Year’s Eve Times Square show; she just wanted to send 2016 off in an appropriate way.

But really, #2017withMariah.  Was this supposed to make us feel less awful about 2016?

On a bright note for football fans up in Washington at least today’s loss didn’t come down to an inexplicable and heartbreakingly stupid play call by Pete Carroll.

And while Washington was widely anticipated not to be worthy of being in the same playoff game against Alabama lost, they didn’t even come close to the most embarrassing performance of the day.

But of course, nothing is  Urban Meyer’s fault.

49ers are reportedly going to fire both Chip Kelly and Trent Baalke, in theory to clean house. But kind of hard to clean a house that’s still on the same rotten foundation. #JedYork

Saw a complaint that President Obama has played 66 rounds of golf this year. How long until Americans start begging Trump to go play golf?

Just trying to imagine what GOP would be saying if a Democratic President-Elect was defending Russia against our intelligence services?

Really, are there any more surprises w/ @realDonaldTrump & Putin now?. Maybe some wonder what they’ll get each other for #ValentinesDay.

Reports are that Trump is considering corporate lawyer George Conway as solicitor general. While Conway has little of the usual government experience, he is married to Kellyanne Conway.
Is this another of those moments where we put down the novel or turn off the movie as too implausible?

The latest fake news on Obama is that he is anti-semitic. Given all that he’s been accused of amazed he’s been elected – twice.

 

President-elect Donald Trump ““If you have something really important, write it out and have it delivered by courier, the old fashioned way because I’ll tell you what, no computer is safe.”
Well he and his friends ought to know.

 

 

The 49ers voted the most Len Eshmont, for the most “inspirational and courageous” player in 2016, to Colin Kaepernick. Well, it’s not like anyone deserved it for actual play on the field.

Reports are that Trump is considering corporate lawyer George Conway as solicitor general. While Conway has little of the usual government experience, he is married to Kellyanne Conway.
Is this another of those moments where we put down the novel or turn off the movie as too implausible?

Really, are there any more surprises w/ @realDonaldTrump & Putin now?. Maybe some wonder what they’ll get each other for #ValentinesDay.

Treed off?

December 30, 2016

 

Stanford QB Keller Chryst injured his right knee in the 1st quarter of the Sun Bowl. And I am sure Christian McCaffrey both feels both very sorry and very vindicated.

 

And yes, Stanford survived by 2 against North Carolina. But can the Cardinal hire a special coach in future just for the fourth quarter?    #Toomanymeltdowns  #RoseBowl #FiestaBowl …..

Sarah Palin has called on Trump to leave the UN. And she’ll then do her part by keeping an eye on Russia from her house?

Bristol Palin wrote a blog post attacking “A-listers” who have refused to perform at Trump’s inaugural, and saying Hollywood is chock-full of “sissies.”
Is Bristol really just upset Trump hasn’t asked her to perform a dance?

After President Obama expelled 35 diplomats, Russia has vowed to retaliate. Wonder they are threatening – to interfere w/ our elections?

Donald Trump’s tweet on Putin’s decision not to respond with sanctions to Obama’s sanctions “Great move on delay (by V. Putin) – I always knew he was very smart!”
Or at least Putin can count the days until January 21?

In California, prosecutor dropped a DUI charge from last year against a man who tested positive for nothing more than caffeine. Based on experience with my friends and family members, the bigger danger is many people driving WITHOUT caffeine.

In a British plan to cut accidents on the road, new young drivers might be forced to spend 120 hours on the road with supervised practice before getting their licenses.
If they seriously want to cut accidents, how about a plan to have older drivers who are relatively new to smartphones also spend supervised time driving with their phone in the car?

 

A women singer from the Mormon Tabernacle Choir has resigned from the group saying that “Looking from the outside in, it will appear that Choir is endorsing tyranny and racism by singing for this man… and she “could never look myself in the mirror again with self-respect” if she performed at Trump’s inaugural.
Well, yeah, we all know those crazy liberal Mormons.
.

 

Horrible story for any parents. But a Texas couple is suing Apple after their daughter was killed in an accident they say was caused by a driver using the FaceTime app while driving.
Have to wonder, would they sue a gun manufacturer if she was killed by someone accidentally firing a gun?

Love-love-love

December 30, 2016

 

Okay, we all agree 2016 has sucked in a lot of ways. But in a year when “Loving” is a likely “Best Picture” nominee, nice to know the US has made some progress. Congrats to Serena Williams and Alexis Ohanian.

Robert Hulseman, 84, has died. He invented the Red Solo Cup. Not sure what they will be serving at his funeral, but we sure know in what they will be serving it. #cheers

Lin-Manuel Miranda, asked by a British interviewer about bringing Hamilton to London in 2018: “It’s a rap musical about the Founding Fathers of America -are you worried that the British won’t know much about the subject? “Can I tell you a dirty secret? Most Americans don’t know either.”

Carrie Fisher, who never got an Oscar nomination, “I’ve waited my entire life to get an award for something, anything. I now get awards all the time for being mentally ill. It”s better than being bad at being insane, right? How tragic would it be to be runner-up for Bipolar Woman of the Year?”. #oneofakind

Explanation for the younger generation about Debbie Reynolds: Once upon a time she was America’s Sweetheart, blonde, pretty and supposedly in a perfect marriage with another celebrity, Eddie Fisher. Except that he left her for a beautiful thrice-married exotic woman, a woman who would later leave him.
Yep, in short, Jennifer Aniston and Brangelina in the late 1950s. (Although Debbie and Eddie had two children, one of them  Carrie Fisher.)

Apparently @realDonaldTrump is writing his own inaugural speech. Presumably 140 characters at a time?

 

Trump on Russian hacking -“”I think that computers have complicated lives very greatly “The whole age of computer has made it where nobody knows exactly what is going on. And we have speed — we have a lot of other things, but I’m not sure we have the kind of security we need.”
Okay, fine, take out the word “computers” and substitute “guns.”

Are we done yet?

December 28, 2016

Open note to 2016. There’s still time, you could kill off an actual a**hole or two.

Cheery words to look forward to at the end of a tough year – “Pitchers and catchers report…”

 

Some fans are upset that some college football players have chosen to skip 2016 bowl games. Of course, do challenge the average fan at this point if they can REMEMBER any 2016 bowl games.

QBs often give their offensive lines Christmas gifts, and this year is no exception. Eagles rookie Carson Wentz.gave each of his linemen an engraved Beretta shotgun. Maybe to protect themselves from Philly fans? #whatcouldpossiblygowrong?

Men/women quotes of the year from the UK Times, following the break-up of Iggy Azalea and Nick Young:
Azalea on Instagram: “Unfortunately although I love Nick and have tried and tried to rebuild my trust in him, it’s become apparent in the last few weeks I am unable to. I genuinely wish Nick the best. It’s never easy to part ways with the person you planned your entire future with but futures can be rewritten and as of today mine is a blank page.”
Young on Twitter: “Single.”

 

History lesson for those who believe cinematic life began with Star Wars. Yes, Carrie Fisher was Princess Leia. But her father was Eddie Fisher, an incredibly popular pop singer in the early 1950s. Her mother, Debbie Reynolds, a 1950s film star. Both had their own TV shows. But their marriage broke up when Fisher had an affair with Reynolds’ good friend, who he later married, a woman named Elizabeth Taylor….
The breakup was also major news in the days BEFORE social media….. Amazing in some ways Carrie survived as long as she did.

Thousands of people signed a petition demanding a Hunter College professor be fired after his husband heckled Ivanka Trump on a JetBlue flight..
So to show that in this country we shouldn’t bother family members, we want to fire the heckler’s family member?

Trump Tower’s lobby was briefly evacuated this afternoon after reports of a suspicious package being discovered, though the package turned out to be harmless. Was it actual genuine tortillas mistakenly sent to Trump Grill for Taco Bowls?

 

Apparently President-Elect Trump wasn’t very happy with the interview with Obama said he would have won a third term. This tweet “President Obama campaigned hard (and personally) in the very important swing states, and lost.The voters wanted to MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!”
Okay, whatever you think of Trump, can you imagine his tweets if he had actually LOST? (or if we simply didn’t have the electoral college.)

Scary thought: @realDonaldTrump doesn’t drink. So he is sending all these tweets completely sober.

Words to live by

December 27, 2016

tinsel

 

You know 2016 has been a long year when you wake up and are just glad not to see yet another headline about somebody dying.  And DAMN IT CARRIE FISHER.

A Queen we could all bow with if not to… RIP. Tweet by Geraldine (@everywhereist):

And Carrie Fisher embraced her struggles and imperfections. She wasn’t simply Princess Leia – she was Queen of Not Giving a Fuck.

Perhaps for those of us who were children just before Star Wars, Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia was the Emma Peel for a generation. May the force be with her.

Another thing that sucks about 2016. It is bad enough to lose aging icons. It is worse to lose icons who are more or less your age.

The NBA now says that LeBron James’ dunk with 1:43 remaining in the Cavs-Warriors game should have resulted in a technical foul for “deliberately hanging on the rim” after the dunk was completed.
So what’s more surprising, that they admitted it at all, or that the league acknowledges a superstar should ever be called for anything?
What’s next, actual traveling violations?

Some fans chanted “We want Romo,” and “Tony, Tony, Tony,” during the 2nd half of last night’s Cowboys win in Arlington. Presumably the chants were from Lions fans?

In Santa Monica, a synagogue door was smeared with feces and food in an apparent antisemitic attack on the first night of Chanukah So is it a war on Chanukah now too?

Thinking for #Hanukkah really to become a major U.S. holiday we need to come up w/ one standard spelling. #Chanukah

Malls across the U.S. were evacuated due to after-Christmas brawls. Although while police were called there are no reports of serious injury. #Ifonlytheshopperswerearmed

That “special relationship” is going so well. Headline in London Times “Use Brexit to steal UK trade says Trump aide.” The story notes how “Wilbur Ross, the billionaire incoming commerce secretary” has called Brexit a “God-given opportunity.” for the U.K’s rivals, including the US.
Well, at least we have Russia…. Sigh.

An interesting side note from President Obama’s news conference about the election, and one I hope future Democratic nominees might heed. (I HATE HATE HATE the prevent defense.) :
“If you think you’re winning, then you have a tendency, just like in sports, maybe to play it safer.”

John McCain, showing signs of why he used to be every Democrat’s favorite Republican, on the alleged Russian hacking: “If they are able to undermine an election, they’re able to undermine democracy”
Of course to be fair, perhaps there is a bit of sour grapes that the election they didn’t hack was 2008?

Boxed out

December 26, 2016

Happy boxing day. To those who observe. And to those who don’t. Happy after-Christmas sale day.

So at the malls are the Valentine’s Day decorations up yet?

Steve Kerr last night after #Warriors loss to #Cavs – Curry “could make better decisions.” @NBA version of #Firstworldproblems

Defensive tackle Dontari Poe just threw a TD pass last night for the Chiefs.  No it’s not just that you’ve had too much eggnog. #DENvsKC

 

You know 2016 has been a long year when you wake up and are just glad not to see yet another headline about somebody dying.

Oops, Sarah Michelle Gellar tweeted out “Do u really want to hurt me? I guess you do 2016 – #ripboygeorge” Guess these 50 something English white boy rockers all look alike?

The Cavs’ Richard Jefferson got a technical foul yesterday for winking at the Warriors’ Kevin Durant yesterday. Winking?! Even the No Fun League thinks that might be overkill.

President Obama said if “I had run again” he would have beaten Trump. Alas “the devil you know” was not on the ballot.

Merry Christmas, on both sides of the pond….

December 25, 2016

Best wishes to Queen Elizabeth II, who has a bad cold and was unable to make the traditional Christmas morning service near her Sandringham estate, which gives locals a rare glimpse of their Queen. Alas there wasn’t time to call Elton John to substitute.

 

On a brighter note,  while  we’ve lost so many in 2016. But Keith Richards has announced he is just going to live forever.

The latest RIP is #GeorgeMichael. Never was a huge fan but so ready to be done with 2016. #toomanylosses

 

Six NBA games on Christmas. Well, at least it makes it easier for players, who don’t have to decide about spending the holiday with which mother of their children.

And the Spurs won. But in  his usual spirit, wonder how tempted Gregg Popovich was to give half his team the day off? #Bulls #Spurs #SpursXmas

 

Weird Christmas good news. Residents of city of Augsburg, near Munich, were able to return to their homes on Christmas night at 7p after being evacuated at 10a so experts could defuse a bomb.
Sign of the times we live in? Well, not exactly; the bomb was from World War II.

So now we are FINALLY done with the “last chance for Christmas” marketing emails.  The post-Christmas sales start tonight.

In all seriousness for a change, hope all my friends and readers have had a merry Christmas or whatever it is you celebrate. One of the things I most celebrate this year is friendship, and connecting with people of all kinds of different views. If you are reading this,  you probably agree with me on some things, and disagree on others. And you probably think sometimes that I am crazy.  But I value you all and am grateful you take the time to read and interact.

And oh yeah, happy humbug from Xena, aka the Voodoo Cat

Sleigh bells ring

December 24, 2016

Santa’s on his way. Let’s hope next year that a bearded guy from overseas with an announced plan to invade the houses of all Americans with children isn’t put on the no-fly list. #sleightohell

At a Jersey City Mall, apparently a wild brawl broke out between shoppers last night, with Santa and kids waiting to see him nearby. Police were called, although there are no reports on arrests. #Ifonlytheywerearmed

 

All these games with playoff implications today and Northern California gets 49ers vs Rams on TV. It’s enough to make you want to channel surf looking for a meaningless bowl game.

 

Christmas miracle for @49ers could be a number 1 draft pick. #Browns win! Browns win! Browns win!

 

So the @49ers can’t even accept the gift of a #1 draft pick?

Makes a certain amount of sense, neither Chip Kelly nor Colin Kaepernick is likely to be with the SF 49ers next year, so they might as well keep the team from getting the #1 draft pick on their way out.

Presumably Los Angeles is calling St. Louis asking if they want the Rams back.

So how did this @Rams team ever win four games? #SFvsLA

Cleveland #Browns win today. And the 2008 Detroit Lions have cracked open a case of generic beer.

Michael Floyd, who now says he has “learned” from his DUI, is active today for the Patriots. So what has Floyd learned? If you can play Bill Belichick doesn’t care what you do off the field?

#Vikings now thinking they had more fun during 3 hours stuck on plane that skidded off taxiway, than at Lambeau today against #Packers

A joint joke with Bill Littlejohn. “Joining Leonard Fournette and Christian McCaffrey on the sidelines to pass on his team’s bowl is North Carolina’s Elijah Hood.  Good grief, is this the college bowl season or the Pro Bowl?”

Okay, really? The guy who harrassed Ivanka Trump on a plane was wrong. But so now her supporters are slamming his husband’s book on Amazon as revenge. Can folks just grow the f*ck up?

 

Sidney Drell, 90, a long-time advisor to Presidents on nuclear weapons, has died. Let’s hope it wasn’t Trump’s tweets this week that killed him.

 

Donald Trump said today he is dissolving the Trump Foundation. I’m sure the fact that the foundation was under investigation by the NY State Attorney General’s office had nothing to do with it.

Plane misery

December 24, 2016

 

Minnesota Vikings had a fine flight today but then plane landed and slid off the taxiway. Perfect metaphor for the team’s season.

Tiger Woods playing golf today w/h Donald Trump. So even President-Elect couldn’t help Tiger make the cut to play on a weekend?

A Virgin America red-eye flight from San Francisco to Boston almost made a emergency landing when it was discovered one passenger had named their wi-fi hot spot “Samsung Galaxy Note 7_1097”
Someone, who didn’t have an actual Galaxy Note 7, finally fessed up after the captain made announcements, including “This isn’t a joke. We’re going to turn on the lights (it’s 11pm) and search everyone’s bag until we find it.”
Can you be put on the no-fly list for being stupid?

Grinch alert: Starting in January, British Airways will charge for all food and drink on short-haul flights in economy class. Passengers who hope to get around this by bringing their own instant coffee or tea bags will be out of luck, however, as the airline WILL charge for hot water in a cup.
Most people’s reaction “That’s absurd.” U.S. airlines’ reaction: “How do we do that?”.

Uh oh, the Airtrain connector from Newark Airport broke down this afternoon so many people couldn’t make their flights. Did someone connected with the airport piss off Chris Christie?

The Rockettes have reportedly been ordered to perform at Trump’s inaugural, and those who refuse will be fired. Makes a certain amount of sense – showcasing women who are being told what they MUST do with their bodies.

 

Now @realDonaldTrump is furious that his son Eric cannot have donors “pay to play” for his foundation. Does this even need a punchline?

Trump’s latest tweet. “Vladimir Putin said today about Hillary and Dems: “In my opinion, it is humiliating. One must be able to lose with dignity.” So true!”
So being dignified would be for Hillary to have said up front she might not have accepted the results of the election?

 

In Kentucky, Ken Ham, the founder of the Ark Encounter, a life-sized Noah’s Ark replica, lit it up in rainbow lights, and said “Sadly, people ignore what God intended the rainbow to represent,” which was His “covenant with Noah,” and not “freedom, love, pride or the LGBTQ movement,”
Chris Hartman, director of the Kentucky Fairness Campaign, decried the statement, but added “It makes the ark look incredibly gay.” #GodBlessAmerica

Well, damn, reports are that #CarrieFisher suffered a massive heart attack on a flight from London to LAX. May the force be with her.

One more comment on the Ivanka plane issue. Here’s my feeling, if someone is acting in a political capacity at a speech or fundraiser, then civil protest is reasonable. If someone is “off-duty,” then we should just all be nice.
Quite an old story but I once was a waitress at Stanford for a dinner that Casper Weinberger was attending. We were all vetted by Secret Service in advance. At the time I hated everything he was doing. But as a friend and I discussed, we were students but we were also professionals, and we treated him nicely. Funniest thing in retrospect, here there were half a dozen agents at the dinner, plus the vetting, but when I went around with coffee, Weinberger asked “could I have tea, if it’s not too much trouble.” Nice man. Horrible policies. But I did my job, and felt good about it.