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Royal flush

November 2, 2015

Harold Reynolds tonight in the World Series compared ‪Matt Harvey‬, who pitched a great game, to ‪MadBum‬. Uh, not exactly.

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For who compare Terry Collins’ decision to let Harvey‬ finish to 2014 Game 7 remember, Bochy probably couldn’t have wrestled ‪Madbum‬ off mound.

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Not sure but in this ‪#‎WorldSeries‬ maybe God decided to gently tell Daniel Murphy that He/She doesn’t disagree with the “gay lifestyle.”

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Had to love Fox analysis before World Series Game Five “This is a must win for the NY Mets.” Ya think?

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Bad news for baseball fans – no more games until 2016. Good news for baseball fans, no more Joe Buck until 2016

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In retrospect, so how good were the Houston Astros? ‪#‎closesttobeatingtheRoyals‬

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Tony Bennett singing before the World Series. Did MLB sign him up earlier in 2015 because they figured the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ would be back in it?

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All the hype over the Rodgers-Manning matchup with Packers-Broncos today, and Brees and Eli Manning put them both to shame.

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It’s easier to laugh when you win.  After the Saints win, coach Sean Payton joked “Brees had 7 TDs but we told him the game ball was going to the kicker”
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Entering the 4th quarter, Drew Brees had 6 TD and 6 incompletions.
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All ‪#‎Saints‬ & ‪#‎Stanford‬ football fans have absolutely no need to visit doctor anytime soon for cardiac stress tests. ‪#‎Whodat‬‪#‎Nerdnation‬
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Had that Washington State field goal at the end of the game not gone wide right, a whole new generation of fans at Stanford would have grown up debating the tuck rule.
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While the Saints‬ and Giants‬ were breaking records in New Orleans, fans in SF Bay Area had to watch the 49ers Rams game.
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#‎GregHardy‬ left today’s game with an apparent knee injury. “I feel so sorry for him” said nobody.

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An allegedly drunk woman is recovering with serious hand injuries after being bitten by a tiger on Halloween night – she said she had sneaked into the zoo to pet the tiger. Nope, not Florida. Omaha. Looks like Nebraska is making a strong play in this week’s ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬ competition.

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The NFL International series now has three games a year in London, so Brits get to see six franchises. And every year seems like one of them is actually a real professional team. ‪#‎nottheLions‬

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A white female South Carolina sheriff captain has been criticized for dressing up as Bob Marley for Halloween, with a t-shirt featuring a marijuana leaf, and wearing blackface. She has apologized, says she had no idea it might be offensive, and has not been disciplined.
Okay, maybe she isn’t racist, but can you suspend someone for criminal stupidity?

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Paul Ryan, who made family time a condition of running for House Speaker, said today he will not support legislation guaranteeing paid family leave. “I don’t think people asked me to be speaker so I can take more money from hard-working taxpayers, so I can create some new federal entitlement.”
In other words, I got mine, the rest of you suckers are on your own.

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Nothing is Urban Meyer’s fault

November 1, 2015

Ohio State starting QB J.T. Barrett, 20, was arrested for alleged DUI after police saw him trying to evade a checkpoint. Urban Meyer has suspended him for the Buckeyes’ game against Minnesota, Nov 7, but Barrett will be back for games against Michigan State and Michigan. Well, of course he will. ‪#‎UrbanMeyer‬

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Great timing at least on the arrest of OSU’s starting QB, he will be back from his one game suspension in time for the mid-November release of coach Urban Meyer’s new book “Above the Line: Lessons in Leadership and Life.”

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Kentucky coach John Calipari drew the order for today’s Breeder’s Cup Classic horse race. Makes sense, Calipari is a good fit with talented young athletes who don’t go to class.

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So it wasn’t the  Triple Crown, but ‪#‎AmericanPharoah‬ put on another damned impressive performance. Spend 2 minutes if you can and watch the replay ‪#‎BreedersCup‬

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Tim Tebow went as a SWAT officer for Halloween. Good thing it’s just a costume, with Tebow’s reputation for accuracy this is one guy you probably don’t ever want to see in a job needing a gun.

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So the RNC is so upset at CNBC parent NBC they have suspended future debates. But Donald Trump, who complained as much as anyone, doesn’t seem angry enough to give up the SNL hosting. ‪#‎nosuchthingasbadpublicity‬?

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It wasn’t that long ago that if someone told you Duke was favored over Miami you would think it had to be basketball

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So how did Miami score that game-winning touchdown against Duke without the help of the Stanford band?

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Better to be lucky than good? Or lucky and good? ‪#‎Stanford‬ ‪#‎wideright‬

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Royals fans at Kaufmann Stadium were surprisingly nice last year about the SF Giants and friendly to their fans. Just guessing that assuming the World Series goes back to Kansas City, the Mets’ Noah Syndergaard made sure that won’t happen again.

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After a costly E-4 tonight for Daniel Murphy, beginning to think that Westboro Baptist Church endorsement might not have been the best karma for the Mets second baseman.

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So the 49ers are having a disappointing season, their QB is regressing, and fans are having a hard time selling unused tickets. What does the team do… waive one of the few popular players – former Australian Rugby League star Jarryd Hayne.
Winning with class or losing with an ass? ‪#‎JedYork‬

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In California, four cities haven’t cut their water use enough during the drought and will be fined $61,000 apiece – the Coachella Valley Water District, Indio, Redlands, and Beverly Hills. Okay, $61,000 for the city of Beverly Hills?! On Rodeo Drive that’s almost enough to buy a purse.

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On Halloween, what could possibly be scarier than the fact that Ben Carson and Donald Trump are leading the GOP polls?

Chris Christie, angry with a NY Times editorial that suggested he drop out of the Presidential race and go back to doing his job in NJ, where he has lost touch. “They are worried I will beat their candidate, Hillary Clinton.”
Uh, Governor Christie, it actually might be proof you’re out of touch if you think the Times has been pro-Hillary Clinton

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Good news, bad news.

October 29, 2015

The good news, Fox didn’t lose power for game 2 of the World Series. Bad news, baseball fans had to listen to Joe Buck for the whole game.

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Tough question Wednesday night for many Americans – what was more likely to drive them to drink  – listening to the GOP debate, or Joe Buck and company in the Fox World Series booth?

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So A-Rod was in the Fox broadcast booth. Is Fox trying anything that will make Joe Buck sound good by comparison? ‪#‎WorldSeries‬

(my friend Renee says “A-Rod has a voice for newsprint.”)

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The NFL has fined Steelers’ C William Gay $5,787 for wearing purple cleats in honor of his mother and other victims of domestic violence. Even though the league has had the pink theme for breast cancer all October.
So this is because the NFL really has nothing to do with domestic violence?
‪#‎sarcasm‬ ‪#‎heavysarcasm‬

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Donald Trump said in a Sioux City speech “If I lose Iowa, I will never speak to you people again” ‪#‎promise‬?

Yesterday Kylie Jenner was voted one of Time Magazine’s 30 “Most Influential Teens.” ‪#‎beammeupScottytheresnointelligentlifeonthisplanet‬

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The NY Jets signed punter Steve Weatherford last week when their regular punterr, Ryan Quigley, was sidelined due to an infection. Now that Quigley is better the Jets cut Weatherford after 4 days. Four days. That’s not a football contract it’s a Hollywood marriage.

A NORAD blump that surveys the East Coast got loose in Maryland was flying free over Pennsylvania. It has now been secured. Wonder which major airline will now institute a “blimp avoidance” fee?

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Bills WR Sammy Watkins, angry with fans complaining about him being injured, took to Instagram to call them “losers,” and add “so continue working y’all little jobs for the rest of your lives….. go have a blessed day.”
Of course, “losers” with “little jobs” in Buffalo could save a lot of money staying home from Bills games.
‪#‎Cantfixstupid‬

If you are reading this and didn’t know Wednesday was National Chocolate Day, you’ve just missed it. So double or nothing?

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Chris Christie, saying he’s the best choice against Hillary Clinton: “You put me on the stage with her next September and she won’t get within 10 miles of the White House.” So does Christie have a friend with control of D.C. area bridges?

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The four lowest-polling GOP Presidential candidates were on earlier  Wednesday in the pre-debate “happy hour” debate. So called because you need to be getting drunk to watch it?

Bobby Jindal tonight at the kid’s table debate said that the U.S. is “going the way of Europe.” Thinking after 6 years of Jindal a lot of folks in Louisiana think Europe sounds pretty good.

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This could go on all day and night….

October 27, 2015

Thanks to ESPN’s insisting that the MLB season start on a Sunday night, and in 2015, April 5, the World Series just got started tonight. Finally.  Millions of Americans have been eagerly awaiting the November Classic.

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The World Series was actually delayed tonight over Fox’s unexplained technical difficulties. Maybe even God has had enough of Joe Buck.

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But really, Fox having broadcast outage at ‪the #‎WorldSeries‬?   Well, maybe if the network had actually practiced by regularly showing baseball this season?

During the postgame show Joe Buck talked about  ‪#‎WorldSeries‬ game 2 “tomorrow in Kansas City.”  Uh, Joe, after 14 innings, more like tonight.

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First time I’ve seen even a little bat flip on a sacrifice fly. ‪#‎Hosmer‬ ‪#‎WorldSeries‬ ‪#‎Royals‬

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But give Hosmer credit, that sacrifice fly must have felt really good after he picked a really bad time to channel Bill Buckner.

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So do the ‪#‎Mets‬ have a special voodoo doll they bury near first base during the ‪#‎WorldSeries‬?

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Harold Reynolds, doing his best to match Joe Buck on the stupid scale. “this is about as evenly matched a World Series as I’ve heard people talk about in years.” Uh, except for last year that came down to one-run in game 7?

The NY Daily News reported Tuesday night that Derek Jeter is engaged. Apparently the Yankees really really don’t like being out of the October spotlight.

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When  ‪#‎WorldSeries‬ game one started Bartolo Colon had barely started shaving.

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An injured deer walked into a Rochester, NY, emergency room. Assume the staff fawned over him.

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REI says it will close all stores on Black Friday and pay their employees to be outside that day. Hope not too many of those employees decide “outside’ means waiting outside other stores

Taco Bell has introduced new croissant breakfast tacos. Yet another consequence of states legalizing marijuana?

-The Texans have released QB Ryan Mallett after he was late for meetings Saturday and missed the team’s charter flight to Miami. I can hear the cries from Houston now “Tebow, Tebow, Tebow.!!!”

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Oracle announced they will build a public charter “Design Tech” high school on its Redwood City, California campus. The idea presumably being to hire some of these kids before they do something silly like go to college.

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Walgreen’s is acquiring Rite Aid. Another step on the path to one national drug store change and one airline.

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Charles Koch is bemoaning a lack of substance and civility in the 2016 Presidential race “It’s mainly about personalities, and ‘your mother sucked rotten eggs.” Yeah, well, Dr. Frankenstein also ended up not being thrilled with his monster.

Donald Trump’s response to his drop in the polls. “I don’t get it.”   Hey, when he’s right, he’s right.

John Kasich talking about his GOP competition on the eve of the next debate. “I’ve about had it with these people. I want you to know I’m fed up. I’m sick and tired of listening to this nonsense and I’m going to have to call it like it is in this race.”
With all due respect, so until now he’s not been “calling it like it is” why?

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Is it too soon to start a pool on the next arrest date for Greg Hardy? ‪#‎Cowboys‬ ‪#‎NFL‬

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Alex Kaseberg, co-piloting me on the bus-to-hell tonight.  “After sustaining a serious 4th-of-July fireworks hand injury, Jason Pierre-Paul agreed to terms with New York Giants. Jason was so happy, he gave the Giants a high-three.”

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In the lurch

October 26, 2015

Dirk Nowitzki went as Lurch for a Halloween Party last weekend. Not to be outdone, now Lurch is planning to go as Dirk Nowitzki.

lurch

The NFL today officially filed their appeal of Tom Brady’s successful appeal of his Deflategate suspension. If this keeps up the case should finally be adjudicated just in time for Brady’s first Old Timers’ game.

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Forget the ‪SuperBowl‬. How much worse does it get for Ravens‬ before John ‪Harbaugh‬ starts looking to try to compete with brother Jim in college bowls?

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Dallas coach Jason Garrett said today that Greg Hardy needs to do better at “channeling” his emotions, but the the DE won’t be disciplined after his altercations with an assistant coach and teammates.
It’s all part of the Cowboys’ strict “12 strikes and you’re out” policy

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An Indiana woman is recovering from being shot in the foot after she put her shotgun on the ground without the safety catch while hunting. Her dog stepped on the gun and it went off. The dog’s name is Trigger. Your move, Florida.

(so have to wonder, is Trigger’s middle name “happy?”)

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Whole Foods has recalled chicken and pasta salad over possible listeria. Well, 99% of Americans are safe – they can’t afford to shop at Whole Foods.

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New Jersey drivers apparently pay the highest tolls in the U.S., 20 cents out of every dollar collected. Mostly presumably to get out of New Jersey.

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The WHO has said processed meats like bacon and sausages are grade 1 carcinogens, the same category as asbestos, alcohol, arsenic and tobacco.

Hmm, I see a new GOP way to fix social security’s money woes – have all Americans eat more hot dogs.

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So much for all those who think Donald Trump has never faced real adversity – “It’s not been easy for me. I started off in Brooklyn, my father gave me a small loan of $1 million. ”

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Mike Tyson is now saying that Trump “should be president of the United States.” Makes sense, the Donald can be the official candidate of those who’ve been hit on the head too many times.

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Fox News’ Jeanine Pirro, slamming Hillary Clinton, “I watched as the hearing devolved from a search for the truth to theater, political theater.” Uh, doesn’t political theater describe the whole GOP Benghazi witch hunt in the first place?

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Governor Greg Abbott wants to make “sanctuary cities” illegal in Texas. Can someone really make Abbott’s head explode and propose a Texas law that would require checking someone’s immigration status when they try to buy a gun?

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T.C. on national tv switching away from the Saints game Sunday.  “Houston fans switched to another game too – golf”

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from Marc Ragovin  “Too bad its not a Mets/Blue Jays World Series. I was really looking forward to Cespedes and Batista meeting at mid-field for the ceremonial bat flip.”

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Be afraid, be very afraid.

October 25, 2015

A Clear Food report found that 10% of vegetarian hot dogs contained meat. Hmm, that might be a higher percentage than regular hot dogs.

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As we move into Halloween week give NBC the early lead for the scariest statement of the week. During a Sunday Night Football commercial they just referred to “Republican front runner Donald Trump.”

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A new AP poll says that Republican voters view Donald Trump as their most electable candidate in 2016. ‪#‎beammeupScottietheresnointelligentlifeonthisplanet‬

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The new president of Guatemala is former TV comedian Jimmy Morales, who has no experience in government, but won tonight in a landslide. ‪#‎PagingJonStewart‬

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The LA Times reports that a survey found 39% of L.A. millennials ‘chronically stressed’ about money. Presumably the other 61% are living with their parents.

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Jimmy Fallon, who badly injured his left hand in a fall at home earlier this year, apparently fell at a Harvard award event yesterday and injured his OTHER hand. Was he chewing gum at the time?

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UCF football coach George O’Leary, whose Golden Knights are 0-8, is retiring effective immediately. Making him luckier than UCF season ticket holders.

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As if I didn’t have enough reasons to hate FOX – First time in California we had the Saints on TV for a Sunday day game in the SF Bay Area, they have a 27-0 lead, and they just came on and said “unless you’re a fantasy owner or a Saints fan that doesn’t live in New Orleans you’re not interested in this game anymore so we are switching to another game”-  Humbug.

(and the Saints almost blew the game. Paging Heidi.)

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Chris Christie was kicked out of an Amtrak “quiet car” this morning. I am sure that has nothing to with what will be a number of unexpected New Jersey rail bridge closures tomorrow.

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Houston Texans QB Ryan Mallett, who said he bought an alarm clock after he said he overslept a training camp practice, missed the team plane to Miami and had to fly commercial for today’s game against the Dolphins. Apparently there is a difference between buying a clock and using a clock.

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The Dallas Cowboys have lost four in a row. No punchline, I just liked writing that.

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Greg Hardy, convicted of domestic violence before his ex-girlfriend didn’t show up for the appeal, apparently he shoved and yelled at teammates on the field in today’s Dallas loss.
Owner Jerry Jones’s response: “He’s, of course, one of the real leaders on this team and he earns it and he earns it with respect from all of his teammates and that’s the kind of thing that inspires a football team.”
Yeah, that’s the kind of attitude that has the Cowboys so beloved outside Texas.

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Former Majority Leader Tom DeLay said that if President Barack Obama issues an executive order to require background checks on some gun sales , the House should consider impeachment proceedings.
Is Delay nuts? Of course the House should not impeach Obama over such an action – now, another Congressional committee to investigate Hillary over her potential involvement, sure, why not?

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Joe Biden said tonight he didn’t run for President simply because at this point he “couldn’t win.” Uh, that hasn’t stopped most of the GOP field.

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Ben Carson said today he is against abortion in all cases, and cited “the many stories of people who have led very useful lives who were the result of rape or incest.” Of course, this is the same Dr. Carson who is against welfare because he thinks it says ‘You can’t take care of yourself and I’m going to give you food stamps, a housing subsidy and free health care….”
So, basically Carson is telling poor girls and women who are victims of rape and incest that they are f*cked twice over.

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Storm watch

October 24, 2015

So despite all the predictions of its strength, Hurricane Patricia basically proved to be over-hyped and comparatively weak. Maybe they should rename it Hurricane Jeb.

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Florida State was upset tonight by Georgia Tech  When a game winning potential field goal was blocked and run back. . The Seminoles haven’t been this embarrassed in recent memory without the police being involved.

(my comedy writing friend T.C. coined the perfect term last week after the MSU-Michigan game – a “kick six.”)

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A man was arrested today on Treasure Island in San Francisco after a chase that started when he stole a police car. Did he figure they’d never track him in one of those…. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

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Miami and Clemson players ALMOST got into a pre-game brawl today. Too bad, the brawl might have been more competitive than the game.

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Parts of Texas received up to 30 inches of rain Saturday. Not sure who’s crying more, Texans or Californians.

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So how much worse does the flooding have to get in Texas before Ted Cruz calls again for federal aid?

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As Jeb’s campaign basically seems to be circling the train, maybe it’s time to rewrite conventional wisdom on the Bushes – George H.W. actually looks to be the “smart one.”

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Nate Silver says the NBA may reduce pre-season games starting in 2017. The current number is 8. My guess is that most players and fans think 0 would be a good number.

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Seven high school football players have now died on the field this year. Waiting for someone to say they should be armed.

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Mitt Romney to the Boston Globe this week. “Without Romneycare, I don’t think we would have Obamacare.” You know Obamacare is working when Mitt is back to taking credit.

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Matt Drudge is now commenting on Hillary Clinton’s occasional coughs during the 11-hour Benghazi hearings, saying that and her slow speaking, “obviously induced by meds.” were signs of serious health issues. Well, hell then, let’s have a Congressional committee created to see if Hillary is being honest about her health.

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R.I.P. Maureen O’Hara, 95, She was the last living star of  “Miracle On 34th Street,” the original black-and-white 1947 one. Best Christmas movie ever. See it this year if you haven’t. Not the colorized version.

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Storms and other hot air

October 23, 2015

The Pacifc Coast of Mexico braced today for Patricia, possibly the “worst hurricane ever.,” which was expected still to be a major storm by the time it hits Texas.   Waiting for Donald Trump to say if he were in charge he’d put up a wall to stop it.

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The only way CNN could have been more excited about Hurricane ‪#‎Patricia‬ was if there were a cruise ship potentially stuck in it.

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First Jim Webb, now it’s bye bye Lincoln Chafee. Say what you want about Democrats, but at least they know when to give up on hopeless Presidential campaigns. Yes, I’m talking about you “fill-in-the-blank.”

U.S. authorities this week found a U.S.-Mexico border tunnel stretching the length of 8 football fields long, from Tijuana to San Diego, with lighting, electricity and a rail system. Sounds like these are the kind of folks Trump might want to build that wall.

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Spurs basketball coach Gregg Popovich is going to be the new coach of Team USA. Will be quite a change for Pop to coach a team of American players.

Got to love it, on Friday night, Fox Sports ticker had “Breaking News – Royals defeat Rays 4-3 to advance to second straight World Series.” During post game ‪#‎ALCS‬ coverage.

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Scott Servais will apparently be named the Mariners new manager this year. So once again folks, if you want your kids to grow up to be managers, give them a catcher’s mitt.

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Westboro Baptist Church was picketing the Blue Jays -Royals ALCS game tonight to “preach to the depraved Canadians.” Where were some players with good strong bat flips when you REALLY needed them?

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New Jersey police are looking for the rightful owner of 50 pounds of pot that was mailed to someone who didn’t even live at the address. When that person comes forward he/she will receive free room and board from the state for a while. Along with a ‪#‎canttixstupid‬ award.

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The number of confirmed Shigella infections has risen to 141 in an outbreak traced to a San Jose, CA restaurant. So waiting for N.C. senator Thom Tillis to reiterate his Feb. 2015 comments of how obligatory hand-washing rules are an example of government overreach.

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McDonald’s is testing out new sweet potato fries in Texas. Makes sense. Most Americans really do feel sweet-deprived.

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Maine voters fhis fall have “Question 1”, a citizen initiative to strengthen the state’s Clean Election Act . It requires more donor transparency, and would allow candidates that are being heavily outspent by their opponents to re-qualify for additional public financing by collecting more small-dollar contributions.
Governor Paul LePage says “that’s like giving my wife my checkbook. I’m telling you, it’s giving your wife your checkbook.”
Wow., that’s misogynistic enough you wonder if LePage is hoping to be a GOP running mate.

President Obama today compared Republicans to ‪#‎GrumpyCat‬. Prompting calls for an apology…. from Grumpy Cat.

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While most agree Hillary Clinton is smart, some of the buzzwords used against her are “Machiavellian,” “ambitious,””ruthless,” “duplicitous,” etc.
Just thinking, what if the Dems ran a woman who was just considered smart, sweet, kind and understanding? Then the GOP would say she was naive and by no means tough enough to lead in a tough world of cunning male leader

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Back to the past

October 21, 2015

Guess ‪#‎BackToTheFuture‬ was as accurate a predictor as all those prophecies of the Rapture. ‪#‎NLCS‬ ‪#‎Mets‬ ‪#‎Cubs‬

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So did original “Back to the Future” come out during Bartolo Colon’s rookie year? Not quite, but at 12 he was old enough to see it. ‪#‎Mets‬

Well, at least this one’s not on Steve Bartman ‪#‎Cubs‬ ‪#‎Mets‬ ‪#‎NLCS‬

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Joe Biden says he is not running for President, saying there is not enough time to mount an effective campaign. And about a dozen GOP candidates are saying “What’s an effective campaign?”

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Maybe the ‪#‎Cubs‬ had to lose. With ‪#‎JoeBiden‬ dropping out of Presidential race, God didn’t want to give comedy writers a 2nd blow in one day

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The Mets’ Daniel Murphy is looking at a big payday next season. But as far as endorsement contracts, just thinking Murphy might be regretting those anti-gay comments he made in March.

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Chris Christie wants to stop flights from NJ to Cuba. Is he afraid too many New Jerseyans will defect.

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United sent out an email today saying they had completed Wi-Fi installations on
791 aircraft, representing 92% of our domestic fleet 91% of our international fleet. And on about half of those planes, the Wi-Fi actually works.

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Texas Monthly wrote this week about a phrase they use in Norway to describe a situation as “totally crazy” – “Helt Texas.” (The literal translation, “quite Texas.”)
Apparently not many Norwegians have been to Florida?

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Former Michigan coach Brady Hoke said he would have have punted on fourth down with 10 seconds left last week against Michigan State. Uh, Brady Hoke wouldn’t have had the lead with 10 seconds left against Michigan State.

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The NHL Columbus Blue Jackets have fired coach Todd Richards after an 0-7 start. Surprised reactions across the country. “Columbus has a hockey team?” and “the NHL has started already?”

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The rumors aren’t going away that Marshawn Lynch was drag racing Seahawks teammate Fred Jackson when he crashed. If true will Lynch’s defense be that he was just in a hurry to get somewhere so he wouldn’t be fined?

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Now that Paul Ryan is making time with his family a requirement for his being Speaker maybe he can use his clout to get the “Family Medical and Insurance Leave” act out of purgatory in the House Ways and Means Committee where it has been languishing this year. Wonder if he knows the chair of the committee? ‪#‎sarcasm‬

(Ryan IS the chair of the committee.)

Am trying to imagine what the GOP would do if Hillary Clinton said one non-negotiable thing if she becomes President would be making some time every week for her granddaughter.

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Bristol Palin has apparently come to a child support agreement with her first baby daddy Levi Johnston. Which is probably a good thing, as guessing Bristol won’t be getting that $250,000 plus a year any more as a spokeswoman for abstinence.

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Dynasty, eh?

October 19, 2015

This is Canada’s new “first family.”  Think suddenly Bill Clinton has extra enthusiam for that potential “First Lady hanging out with wives” role?

Xavier Trudeau covers his eyes as Liberal leader Justin Trudeau watches the results with his wife Sophie Gregoire at a hotel in downtown Montreal on Monday, Oct. 19, 2015. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Paul Chiasson

And just think, in 2017 any treaties between Canada and the U.S. could be negotiated by a Trudeau and either a Bush or a Clinton. Sure glad we broke away from England so we could get rid of that whole idea of being led by royal families.

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For Canada fans of politics and sports; New PM Justin Trudeau is exactly one year and 4 days older than Blue Jays reliever LaTroy Hawkins.

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Canada voted today to elect a new Parliament and Prime Minister. Apparently a CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation) host complained that the two-and-a-half-month campaign was “historically long:” Can’t top John Oliver on this one – “Thinking 78 days is a long campaign is absolutely adorable.”

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Meanwhile, Joe Biden apparently will make a decision this week on entering the Presidential race. If he decides to run, Biden’s campaign kickoff speech will be scheduled for Thursday, Friday and Saturday.

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Apparently tickets for “Star Wars: The Force Awakens”, opening December 18, are now available online. Assume most of the early sales are single tickets.

So when did ‪#‎RogersCentre‬ in Toronto turn into ‪#‎CoorsField‬? ‪#‎ALDS‬ ‪#‎KCvsToronto‬

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Eagles fans are upset because someone put a NY Giants jersey on the Rocky statue . Broncos fans are just shrugging, they’ve been winning all year with a statue at quarterback.

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Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski , arguing against those who think the college basketball schedule should change later into the year “We do represent NCAA institutions, and the thing that happens in late spring is called exams.”
And players at Kentucky are going “What are exams?”

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A Southwest flight from Los Angeles to San Francisco had to turn around and make an emergency landing back at LAX after a woman passenger apparently claimed a man tried to choke her for reclining her seat. Shocking. Mostly that it didn’t happen on United or Spirit.

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No details yet about the passenger who allegedly choked a woman on a Southwest flight for reclining her seat. But we know it wasn’t a member of the SF Giants – they don’t choke in October.

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Still not quite sure what was going on with that Colts fake punt yesterday. Maybe Indianapolis figured the Patriots defenders would all just fall down laughing?

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You know your NFL division sucks when you are tied for the lead with a record that might not even make the playoffs in the NBA ‪#‎NFCLeast‬

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In Tombstone, Arizona, an actor is recovering after accidentally shooting himself in the groin while reenacting a gunfight near the OK Corral last weekend.  Your move, Florida.

USA Today is reporting that in 2016, some Republicans are hoping for a higher evangelical born-again Christian turnout, as estimates are there were was many as 17 million “missing” evangelical voters in 2012.
Maybe they weren’t missing, maybe they just expected God would provide them with a President?

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An Iowa man, arrested for stealing a taxi in Des Moines, said he took it because he didn’t want to walk home. I think I see a new potential ad campaign “Uber – there’s an easier way.”

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M going to be Blue

October 17, 2015

For as rough as that game ending was in Ann Arbor,  a game-winning touchdown after a blocked punt with 10 seconds to go, Jim Harbaugh still has to be waking up tomorrow thinking “At least I’m not still coaching the 49ers.”

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Jim Harbaugh probably got a sympathy tweet from Nick Saban ‪#‎MSUvsMICH‬ ‪#‎AuburnvsAlabama‬

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 And here Harbaugh thought his kicking nightmares were over when he left Stanford and Jordan Williamson.
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San Francisco rents are so high that one female software engineer has written about the fact that she now lives in a VW Bus. What will be even scarier is when she decides to rent half the bus out on AirBNB.

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So some KC Royals fans are starting a petition to have Joe Buck removed from the ALCS because they say he is biased against their team. SF Giants fans are laughing. They know Buck is biased against any team that isn’t the Cardinals.

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While the ALCS is moving to Toronto for game three, there won’t be a game on Sunday. So we won’t have the dilemma – would MLB still insist on “God Bless America?”

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Jeb Bush and Donald Trump called each other “pathetic” yesterday. It was a rare time they were both right.

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The Oklahoma Sooners flight to Manhattan, KS for their football game against KSU today was delayed over 8 hours. Now I know travel agents have a different perspective, but really? The DRIVE is only about 4 1/2 hours

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As expected, Zack Greinke has opted out of his contract with the Dodgers.(he ONLY has 3 years and $71 million left, and wants a longer deal.)
Not sure about 5 years to any 32 year old pitcher. But SF has a record as a good home for head cases.

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Mike, a combat dog that became a service animal for an Army veteran was shot and killed by a bicyclist in Wyoming who said the dog threatened him. Waiting for the NRA to say “If only the dog had been armed.”

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Memphis defeated Ole Miss today to move to 6-0. Wow. Memphis has a college football team?

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USC played Notre Dame‬ Saturday .    Bringing up the age-old question for many American football fans – “Can both teams lose?”

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Lindsay Lohan is now saying in “In #2020 I may run for president.” And somewhere Jon Stewart is thinking “The universe REALLY doesn’t want me to retire.”

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US Airways flight 1939 took off Friday night from San Francisco to Philadelphia, the last US Airways flight ever before their merger with American Airlines. Poignant night for many fliers – one less airline to blame.

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TBS host Casey Stern was caught dropping an f-bomb on air after the Mets’ game 1 NLCS win over the Cubs today. Can only imagine what some of the Michigan broadcasters said away from the microphone after the end of the MSU game.

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Apparently Rand Paul, Mike Huckabee, Bobby Jindal, George Pataki, Lindsey Graham and Rick Santorum are all spending more money than they are getting in donations so could end up dropping out of the 2016 Presidential race soon.
With the possible exception of Paul, and maybe Huckabee, who’s donating to ANY of them?

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Catch of the year?

October 16, 2015

Yeah, so Francis Owusu made an incredible touchdown catch for Stanford. But he may never again be able to order pizza in Indiana.

francis-owusu-catch

Although if you haven’t seen the video  – https://vine.co/v/eE0xe6eY2pu   Francis Owuso and Stanford also managed with an after midnight eastern time play  to pull off #1 in ESPN’s top plays, beating out time zones AND East coast bias. ‪

How cool is it for SF Bay Area sports fans?   #BeatLA twice in one night.

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So if ‪#‎Utley‬ retires in the offseason do they suspend him for his first two old-timers games? ‪

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Donald Trump is threatening to skip the next debate. The horror. The remaining candidates might actually have to talk about issues.
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Khloe Kardashian is calling the owner of the brothel where Lamar Odom collapsed a “publicity pimp.” This in between numerous calling out of kettles for being black.
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Your heartwarming story for the day. Kim Kardashian is so upset at her ex-brother-in-law Lamar Odom’s condition that she has CANCELED HER BABY SHOWER FOR THIS WEEKEND. ‪#‎familyvalues‬
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Oscar Pistorius will be released to house arrest next week, about 2 1/2 years after he fatally shot his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day 2013. Amazing. If he were an NFL star Pistorius would have received at least a 6 game suspension.
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Eagles coach Chip Kelly said today he is not a candidate for the head coaching jobs at USC and Texas. Well, makes sense, he’s got a perfectly good job coaching an amateur team now.
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Donald Trump’s son Eric talking about his dad’s presidential campaign, says his dad “does not lose.” Of course not, Trump will use the Vietnam method: Declare victory and pull out.
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As of August 1, 2016, college students in Texas will be allowed to have guns in their dorm rooms. Guess it makes some sense, if you make it almost impossible to have an abortion in the state, got to find ways to cull the herd somehow.
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Not a fan of showboating, and the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ don’t play that way. But interesting tweet about Bautista’s home run and bat flip: “@MikeAndMike in the playoffs and a late inning go ahead HR, there is nothing wrong with what @JoeyBats19 did. Regular season it’s a nae nae.”
The tweeter, Joe Carter.
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The Seattle Seahawks suspended FB Derrick Coleman indefinitely pending charges of vehicular assault and hit and run. According to ESPN, Coleman has played on 20% of the team’s offensive snaps this year and has also played on special teams. Of course, I am sure the team would have also suspended him as quickly if he were a star. ‪#‎sarcasm‬

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Bluer than blue

October 14, 2015

Every single team left in the 2015 MLB postseason wears the same color.   So can we now title the playoffs “Bluer than Blue”

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Well, in Texas it’s about time for sports fans to go back to complaining about their NFL teams.

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Watching the Astros bullpen in games 4 and 5 reminds you of why the Giants’ Bruce Bochy wasn’t taking that ball from Madbum’s hand in 2014.

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After today’s near riot at Rogers Centre in Toronto  have to figure a lot of people aren’t asking any more why Canada has such strict gun laws. ‪#‎Toronto‬‪  #‎Bluejays‬‪  #‎ALDS‬

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ALDS game 5 may be rebroadcast as an episode of the Twi-light Zone. ‪

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In Toronto today for half an inning there was the thought that the run that would decide the deciding game of a best of 5 series would have scored on a deflected ball that the catcher was trying to throw back to the pitcher.  When the batter MIGHT have interfered, and the umpire MIGHT have called time out.  And the Blue Jays decided to play the game under protest which could have been a fascinating appeal process…… In the Commissioner’s office Rob Manfred must have just popped champagne after that Bautista home run.
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Moscow and St Petersburg are considering a 1 day a week ban on alcohol sales as an effort to combat problems resulting from heavy drinking in Russia. Yeah, this works so well in places with blue laws like Texas.

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Uh oh, Mike Huckabee’s off his meds again: “I trust Bernie Sanders like I trust a North Korean chef with my labrador.” Has anyone reminded Huckabee that Jesus was a socialist?
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Stay classy USC, Apparently former coach Steve Sarkisian learned he had been fired when he read an e-mail and text messages from friends expressing sympathy.
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University of Florida DB Deiondre Porter has been suspended indefinitely after being arrested on four felony counts. He allegedly held a gun to his pregnant girlfriend’s head and shot in her direction. This is perhaps not what Gators fans intended when they talked about missing the halcyon days of Urban Meyer.
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There are things that make us proud to be human and living in the USA. This headline is not one of them: “Khloe Kardashian Reportedly Rushes to Lamar Odom’s Bedside With Family Members and a Camera Crew.”
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Yoko Ono is talking again about John Lennon, saying that he had a “desire” to sleep with men, but told her t “I just never found somebody that was that attractive. Both John and I were into attractiveness, you know, beauty.” Yeah, Yoko said it, with a straight face.
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The Washington Post is reporting that 43 people have been shot in the USA this year alone by toddlers age three and younger. Well, maybe if it weren’t easier to fire a gun than to remove a child-proof cap….
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A Subway customer says he found a dead mouse in a sandwich at a restaurant on the Oregon coast. And this is still less embarrassing to the chain than Jared.
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Donald Trump last night about the Dem debate “Sorry, there is no STAR on the stage tonight!” Well, since Bernie Sanders would like to increase his fundraising, just guessing Bernie would take Trump on in a one-on-one televised debate, any time. Now that Americans would definitely watch.
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Donald Trump now wants taxpayer-funded Secret Service for his protection during the campaign. Uh, really, as incompetent as Trump claims to think the government is, wouldn’t you think he’d feel safer with his own private body guards?
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From T.C.  On Playboy’s getting rid of nude pictures  “That’s it, I’m cancelling my Playboy subscription and am planning to renew with National Geographic. grrrrrrr”

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No morning sunshine?

October 13, 2015

A new study found that people who like their coffee black are more likely to be sadistic and psychopathic. Well, at least until they get their coffee.

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For the second consecutive week, an error by MNF officials could have changed the outcome of the game, (although the Steelers won despite the “loss” of 18 seconds on the clock.) Maybe we should start checking the officiating crew for DraftKings accounts?

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Playboy has announced they will stop publishing nude pictures. Shocking. Playboy is still publishing?

USC Athletic Director Pat Haden said that now former coach Steve Sarkasian was fired because he “did not meet USC’s standards.” Well, that I believe. Trojans, at 1-2, are 5th out of 6 teams in the Pac 12 South.

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Twitter is laying off 8% of their engineers. So presume the pink slips were done in under 140 characters ‪#‎yourefired‬

The ‪#‎Cubs‬‘ Anthony Rizzo hit a go-ahead home run on an 0-2 pitch. ‪#‎SFGiants‬ fans are having bad 2015 regular season flashbacks.

You think you might be having a bad week at work. Probably not as bad as Kevin Siegrist. (Cardinals relief pitcher. two losses in two days. Including the Cubs clincher today.)

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Ted Cruz is apparently moving up in the GOP polls. Just what kind of a world do we live in when Cruz isn’t close to looking like the most bat-shit crazy one?

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Donald ‪#‎Trump‬ is hosting ‪#‎SNL‬ on Nov. 7. Well, good for the Donald. He could use the exposure.

Some UberX drivers are supposedly planning not to work this weekend as a protest against the company’s low rates and lack of a tip option. Well, if this catches on it should be good for some serious surge pricing.

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So Lamar Odom is apparently “fighting for his life,” after being found unconscious at a Nevada brothel. Sad. Although perhaps the saddest people are the Kardashians since he’s no longer a “cast member” of their show.

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A new poll in California shows the President’s approval rating at 60%, the highest of his second term. ‪#‎IblameObama‬

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Democrats were wondering how to get viewers interested in their first debate tonight. Maybe Bernie Sanders should have threatened to take out Hillary Clinton with a hard slide?

“The excitement can still be felt in the debate hall.” And CNN said it with a straight face. ‪#‎DemDebate‬

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How could the ‪#‎Demdebate‬ possibly compete with stuff like this? Newt Gingrich said if called upon he would consider becoming Speaker of the House again, telling Sean Hannity “This is why George Washington came out of retirement – because there are moments you can’t avoid.” ‪#‎yeshesaidit‬ ‪#‎nottheOnion‬

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If anyone thinks that these days women are treated with any sort of equality in politics, then they clearly missed the earth-shattering commentary that Clinton aide Huma Abedin wore ALMOST THE SAME British dress that Kate Middleton has been seen in last year. ‪#‎nottheOnion‬  (The U.K Daily Mail,

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Hits by pitch?

October 12, 2015

Scoring 13 runs against the team that took out your starting shortstop really IS the best revenge.

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Some of these MLB  Postseason‬ games are beginning to resemble those Little League games where teams all run out of pitching. ‪

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So since MLB would not hear his appeal today, Chase Utley could have played tonight. Which might have brought a whole new audience to NLDS game 3, including those who felt gypped on Mayweather-Pacquiao.

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Ouch, a 6-2 lead with 2 innings to go in a series clinching game. The 2015 ‪#‎Astros‬ are getting sympathy messages from 2002 ‪#‎SFGiants‬ ‪#‎ALDS‬

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Donald Trump thinks Tuesday’s Democratic debate won’t be very well-rated because he isn’t in it, and “and people are gonna get bored and turn it off.”
Well, he is probably right. Because most Americans aren’t really ready to pay attention to the Presidential election. But we always love watching a good train wreck.

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Gennifer Flowers is back, saying she has things in a safety deposit box to ensure her “safety, and that Bill’s infidelity “should come back up with the circumstances, with Hillary running. It should come back to the forefront again.”
Translation, someone might actually pay me money to talk again.

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A day after USC ordered their coach to take a leave of absence,and AD Pat Haden says “it was very clear to me that he is not healthy,” the Trojans have fired Steve Sarkasian. That stampeding sound you hear is from a whole lot of rushing Los Angeles employment lawyers.

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My friend Alex Kaseberg’s take on Sarkisian’s original leave of absence for “ an undisclosed condition.  ” I can disclose the condition: losing.”

In all seriousness, if USC had started 5-0 does anyone doubt that Sarkisian would not only still have a job, he’d be able to have a flask attached to his headset?

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Texas Gov. Greg Abbott sent out a tweet today “congratulations to the @astros for advancing to the ALCS. Looking for an all-Texas ‪#‎ALCS‬. Looking at you @Rangers.” And somewhere W. and Rick Perry are thinking “And we’re supposed to be the stupid ones?”

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An Alaska Airlines flight had to make an emergency landing today when a credit card reader on board caught fire. So how many snack boxes and drinks were they selling to get it that overheated?

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Minnesota dentist Walter Palmer Minnesota will apparently not be charged for the shooting of Cecil the lion in Zimbabwe. Know Palmer paid $50,000 for the original hunting permit, wonder how much he paid for the verdict.

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These days it’s harder to figure out what channel the playoff games are on than to explain the infield fly rule. ‪#‎MLBPostseason‬ ‪#‎ALDS‬ ‪#‎NLDS‬

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Florida QB Will Grier has thrown for 10 TDs and 1,204 yards for the Gators. Today he was suspended for PED’s. Well, on the bright side, at least Grier may have proven he’s NFL ready.
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In San Antonio, Texas, a husband fatally shot his wife last weekend in their house. He claims he mistook her in the middle of the night for an intruder. ‪#‎ifonlyshewasarmed‬

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Apparently Pepsi is launching a new cellphone. Presume the phone won’t lose power, it will just go flat?

Some Democrats are looking forward to the first debate because “Democrats will finally be in the headlines.” Right, just below the headline of whatever insane thing Trump or Carson or Fiorina says tomorrow.

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South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier said he is retiring effectively immediately. Now before the season Spurrier said “We were 11-2 and ranked fourth in the country this time a year ago, and nobody said a damn word. Now a year later I’m suddenly too old..” Amazing how much a 2-4 start will make a man feel his age.

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Slip, sliding away

October 11, 2015

Give Chase Utley‬ credit, during the middle of football season he got a whole lot of U.S. sports fans talking about baseball ‪

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Chase Utley suspended for two games. Might be safer than if Don Mattingly had dared to put him at Citifield in New York anyway  ‪

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How much more perfect could it be if the NLDS series hero turns out to be Wilmer Flores? ‪

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Not surprisingly, Mets fans tend to think Utley’s slide was dirty, Dodgers fans tend to think it was just good hard baseball.  So assume if Mets player injures Dodgers 2nd baseman Howie Kendrick with an Utley-like slide in game 3, LA will have no problem with it?

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The ‪#‎Saints‬ may be interested in signing Chase Utley for defense. ‪#‎bettertackling‬

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Houston ‪#‎Astros‬ were the lowest seeded team into the 2015 ‪#‎MLBPlayoffs‬. Lowest team in 2014? ‪#‎SFGiants‬

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USC has apparently told coach Steve Sarkisian to take a leave of absence. Sort of like much of the Trojans football team has been doing all season?

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Oregon’s football team has THREE losses? For some players it’s the first time they’ve had to count that high.

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But okay, the Ducks might not even be the most disappointing football team in the Northwest  #SeattleSeahawks.

Apparently an increasing number of Canadians want to build a wall to keep Americans out. Maybe this is Trump’s grand plan. Not to win the presidency but to get the building contract.

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Governor Jerry Brown signed a bill saying California schools will no longer be allowed to use “Redskins” as a mascot or team name. Professional teams aren’t mentioned, but, at least this won’t be an issue during the 2016 Super Bowl in Santa Clara.

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A man was shot and seriously injured tonight in Arlington, TX, in a parking lot shared by the Rangers and Cowboys. A suspect is in custody with no further details. But just guessing he’s not one of those wacky Blue Jays fans.

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Trump clearly is tired of Ben Carson getting all the headlines, saying today 200,000 Syrian migrants coming into the US “‘could make the Trojan horse look like peanuts if these people turned out to be a lot of ISIS”

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President Obama said that John Boehner’s departure could worsen Congressional gridlock. You mean it’s possible to go slower than a dead stop?

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Down and out?

October 11, 2015

So @MLB may let Chase Utley get away with that slide but @NFL may be fining him. ‪#‎Mets‬ ‪#‎Dodgers‬

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Kelby Tomlinson was enough to make me glad ‪#‎SFGiants‬ didn’t sign Utley. Maybe now ‪#‎49ers‬ wish they had pursued him.

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As if SF Giants fans didn’t have enough reason to hate Dodgers, Chase Utley in 2015 does to Tejada what Matt Holliday did to Scutaro in 2012. Time for karma to get in mean bitch mode.

Pedro Martinez said last week that the Mets need to keep Matt Harvey, due to his elbow issues, under five innings “no matter what the situation.” Hmm, thinking it could be real interesting if Utley comes up against Harvey in the fifth on Monday.

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Just saying, Zack Greinke, neither of those home runs you gave up would have been out at AT&T Park. If you’re thinking of a change of scenery ‪#‎SFGiants‬

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St Louis pitcher Jaime Garcia left after the 2nd inning with a stomach virus. Bet he wasn’t half as sick as Cardinals fans watching their team give up FIVE unearned runs in that inning.

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As if anyone had doubts, Michigan’s Jim Harbaugh may not be an easy person to deal with, but,he is a damn good football coach ‪ (but hey, the 49ers don’t miss him at all, right?)

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This is a rare “awww” story from the world of college football. After devastating floods, the University of South Carolina moved their game against LSU from Columbia to Baton Rouge, where LSU will give SC the revenue from tickets and concessions. And since the Gamecocks’ band can’t come, the Tigers’ marching band decided to learn South Carolina’s alma mater and fight song and played both at the game.

Aww part two, LSU Heisman hopeful Leonard Fournette said after the game that he would auction off his jersey for South Carolina flood relief. (his family lived on a bridge for several days after Katrina)
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The RNC is criticizing Obama’s latest visit to California saying “the latest swing through the Golden State proves once again that President Obama only cares about causing traffic jams for fundraising for the failed Democrat agenda.” Right, the President should be like Chris Christie and only cause traffic jams for political revenge.
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Cal Ripken Jr. acknowledged he might be interested in managing the Washington Nationals. Because he always dreamed as a little boy of growing up and joining the circus?

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In New Jersey, a burglar who accidentally butt-dialed 911 and ended up telling police his plans has pleaded guilty. He was given a plea deal of a minimum of 5 years, with presumably then being paroled to Florida?

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Cal QB Jared Goff has been projected as a 1st round, maybe top ten draft pick. Maybe Saturday night he was trying a bit too hard to show he could be the next Colin Kaepernick..  (five interceptions.)

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Two people (at least) have apparently been fatally shot this past week with a gun stolen from an unlocked car in San Francisco. The woman who was shot and killed in July on an SF pier allegedly by an illegal immigrant was also killed with a gun left in a car. Not keeping a dangerous dog safely secured is a crime. Can we at least talk about laws requiring gun owners to take care of their weapons?

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Not quite all wet.

October 9, 2015

General Motors is telling owners of some SUVs not to use their windshield wipers because an electrical short could cause the motor to catch fire. ‘Scary” said most Americans. “What are windshield wipers?” said Californians?”

It’s only the first week of the postseason, and I am so over playoff beards. ‪#‎MLBPostseason‬

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Shocked at how many empty seats there were in 5th inning at ‪#‎Dodgers‬ Stadium. Were fans late for the 3rd or early for the 7th?

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Bob Costas today during extra innings of the Rangers Blue Jays game “I’m hearing the rumor that Albert Belle may be going all Kirk Gibson on us.”– (Belle retired in 2000, so he meant injured Texas slugger Adrian Beltre)
To be fair, maybe seeing LaTroy Hawkins on the mound was giving Costas flashbacks.

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Not true that ‪#‎LaTroyHawkins‬ was in majors the last time ‪#‎BlueJays‬ were in playoffs. (1993). But he was pitching for ‪#‎Twins‬ single A team.

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Add Johnny ‪#‎Cueto‬ to the list of pitchers ‪#‎SFGiants‬ are now glad they didn’t give away the farm to get at the trade deadline ‪#‎HOUvsKC‬

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MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred said yesterday it’s “not appropriate” to enforce pace-of-play rules as strictly during the playoffs. Well, of course, longer games mean more commercials. ‪#‎followthemoney‬

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Ted Cruz just said that Trump won’t be the GOP nominee, and that he will pick up most of the Donald’s voters. So Cruz vs. Trump. Get some popcorn and pull up a chair, this could be fun.

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Donald Trump today says Bowe Bergdahl should have been executed. Hey, can someone ask Trump about draft dodgers?

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Texas Governor Greg Abbott signed a “campus carry” bill in June. “In general, what we’ve seen in the states that have campus carry, there haven’t been any problems on those campuses. I think that the way the Legislature worked this out [that] we will see that campus carry in the state of Texas will also pose no more problems.”

Three shootings on Texas campuses since then. Maybe he meant problems with overcrowding?

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Many gun rights advocates say the Oregon shootings would not have happened if students were armed. Last night there was a fight between two groups of students near a fraternity dorm at Northern Arizona University.. An 18 year old freshman pulled out a gun, 1 student is dead, 3 injured. ‪#‎howmanymore‬ ‪#‎ifonlytheywereALLarmed‬

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Not that I expect any privacy on the internet. But sometimes these targeted ad algorithms need work. As in I just have gotten a few ads for “California’s largest hunting and fishing stores” with all kinds of guns on sale. ‪#‎notthatkindofagal‬

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The California Coastal Commission has banned SeaWorld from breeding killer whales in captivity. So what’s next,”Abstinence Only” sex education for orcas?

Chris Christie says of President Obama that he “should do all of us a favor [and] start building his library now and leave office early.” And a lot of New Jersey residents are thinking ‘Can you show him the way?”

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A UCLA walk-on punter was arrested on suspicion of rape today, the 2nd Bruins player to be arrested this year, (the first was arrested for allegedly stealing a cellphone, although prosecutors decided not to press charges.)

Maybe UCLA is trying just a little too hard to prove they can compete with SEC and ACC teams?

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John Kasich at a New Hampshire event asked those in the audience if it would both them if their future benefit were a little lower for the good of the country. When one person said it would be a problem Kasich replied “Well, you’d get over it, and you’re going to have to get over it.”
As my friend Michael Schibly says, “Keep them talking.”

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Home cooked?

October 8, 2015

What home field advantage? ‪#‎MLBPostseason‬

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A pro-White Sox bar in Chicago is offering free beer after every St. Louis Cardinals home run against the Cubs. Okay, I see a potential promotion for San Francisco area bars for the Mets-Dodgers series.

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Best wishes to Vin Scully. Los Angeles just announced that their 88-year-old announcer will miss the postseason after undergoing a “recommended medical procedure.” And SFGiants fans hope Dodgers have plenty of time starting next week to visit Vin in the hospital.

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Some complain baseball doesn’t have a national TV audience anymore. One reason that most Americans aren’t familiar with any but their local teams and a handful of big name teams. So now in the playoffs, MLB has a chance to introduce us to the Blue Jays and Rangers. And they put ALDS games 1 and 2 on weekday at 330p and 1245p EST…..

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Strangely fun to see orange in the postseason, even if it’s not Giants Orange. ‪#‎SFGiants‬.

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The Cowboys’ Greg Hardy, about his impending return from a suspension for domestic violence “”I hope I come out guns blazing,”
(Hardy was actually convicted of the 2014 assault but had his case dismissed on appeal when Nicole Holder didn’t show up He had thrown her on a pile of guns, bragged they were loaded and threatened to kill her with one of them.) ‪#‎stayclassy‬

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And maybe all you need to know about Roger Goodell and today’s NFL is that Goodell is pushing hard to make sure Tom Brady gets that full four-game suspension that matches Hardy’s.  (And I don’t even like the Patriots or Saint Brady)  #Priorities.

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A video is going viral of the Pirates’ Sean Rodriguez attacking a water cooler during yesterday’s Wild Card game. Pity Pittsburgh batters didn’t hit Arrieta as hard as Rodriguez hit the cooler.

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A frat at Indiana University has been suspended over a possible sexual assault, after they posted a video of the incident on Twitter. Not that we always didn’t have ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬, but social media has certainly expanded stupid’s reach.

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Chris Burns, an assistant coach at Bryant University, is making headlines as the first Division 1 basketball coach to come out of the closet. Uh, that was Sheri Murrell at Portland State. But good for him, each announcement makes the next one a little less of a story. And maybe someday being gay in sports won’t be a story at all. ‪#‎wecandream‬

Kevin McCarthy has just withdrawn from the House Speaker’s race. Proving again that old adage “Better to keep silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt.”

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Injured Junior Bruins’ LB Myles Jack says he is dropping out UCLA and entering the 2016 NFL draft because he wants “compensation for what I have done.” Well, clearly Jack should have gone to USC.

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An 22 year old man called 911 to report that he was “too high on weed” and “could not feel his hands.” Police found him laying on the floor surrounded by “a plethora of Doritos, Pepperidge Farm Goldfish and Chips Ahoy cookies.”

This story is from Ohio. Your move, Florida.

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Volkswagen’s CEO, testifying before Congress, said it may take years to fix all the rigged cars. And it will take even longer to fix the company’s reputation.

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USC coach Steve Sarkisian said late August he was going to rehab. The way Trojans have played the last two games at home you’d think Sarkisian wants most USC fans to need to join him.

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Proving that it’s possible to do brain surgery without a working brain: Today’s gem from Ben Carson ” I have had a gun held on me when I was in a Popeyes [in Baltimore]. … A guy comes in, puts the gun in my ribs, and I just said, “I believe that you want the guy behind the counter.” … He said, “Oh, okay.” ‪#‎realAmericanhero‬ ‪#‎yeshesaidit‬

If this keeps up no telling what Trump will have to do to grab the headlines back. Later today on CNN Ben Carson said the holocaust would have been less likely had Jews been armed…. ‪#‎nottheOnion‬

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From Bill Littlejohn:  “Four Russian missiles fired at targets in Syria instead landed in a remote part of Iran.So, you see, Colin Kaepernick, you are not alone.”

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Walking the plank?

October 7, 2015

The 2015 98-win ‪#‎Pirates‬ are gone after 1 post-season game. The 1993 103-win ‪#‎Giants‬ would have liked 1 post-season game. ‪#‎Wildcard

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‪For the second year in a row, the #‎Pirates‬ are out in post-season. But Pittsburgh is well on their way to becoming official MLB team of college basketball.  ‪#‎oneanddone‬

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A new study found that Donald Trump supporters have the worst grammar on Facebook. And angry Trump fans are saying “Not true, my grammar is/was a great person, so is my grampa.”

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Colin Kaepernick – “I don’t play for job security.” Good thing, as the 49ers QB isn’t playing like he’s going to have any.

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A rainy June in Illinois wiped out a lot of this year’s U.S. pumpkin crop which may mean a canned pumpkin shortage by Thanksgiving. Stand by for Starbucks’ new “Zucchini Spice Latte.”

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Sepp Blatter will reportedly be suspended for 90 days by FIFA’s ethics committee. Shocking. FIFA HAS an ethics committee?

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The NFL is talking about playing some future games in Mexico. Talk about a way to undercut Trump’s allegations that criminals only come north across the border.

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ESPN is reporting that NY Knicks coach Derek Fisher and Grizzlies forward Matt Barnes “were involved in an physical altercation” last weekend at the home of Barnes’ ex-wife. Who says the Knicks won’t make headlines this year?

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The mother of the Oregon shooter is now saying when she was pregnant that she read “Trump’s Art of The Deal” to him as an unborn baby. Talk about a way to have a child start out thinking the world is an awful place.

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Chuck E Cheese is going to expand their alcohol selection in order to appeal more to parents. Wonder how many drinks it will take before their food actually tastes like pizza?

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Kevin McCarthy, backtracking on his comments implying that the Benghazi investigations in the House were a political weapon against Hillary Clinton: “I could have been more clear in my description of what was going forward.”
Uh, Rep. McCarthy. I think the problem was that you WERE crystal clear, and honest.

GOP House members today created a special committee on Wednesday to investigate Planned Parenthood. Could someone please ask Kevin McCarthy what the goals of the committee are?

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Rupert Murdoch tweeted today in support of Ben Carson. “What about a real black President who can properly address the racial divide? And much else.” Assume Murdoch also considers Clarence Thomas a “real black” Supreme Court judge

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Ben Carson doubling down on his Oregon shooting comments: “I was chuckling at the silly reporters, at not being able to understand such a simple concept. If you know someone is going to kill you, and they’re going to systematically kill you one by one, why would you sit there and wait for them to do it?”
Can’t wait to hear someone ask him a question about rape.

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Finally,  if you are reading this, guess the Rapture hasn’t happened yet. ‪#‎Doomsday‬

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