Saints be praised.

Posted January 5, 2014 by left coast sports babe
Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
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1 and 5 on the road in the playoffs never felt so good. #GeauxSaints! #coolBrees

New Orleans would like to thank the SF 49ers again for beating the Arizona Cardinals and sending the Saints to Philadelphia.

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Only a playoff game in Green Bay tomorrow could get announcers to refer to 20 degree weather in Philadelphia as “balmy.”

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Darren Sproles does pretty well for a guy who makes Tim Lincecum look like a real Giant. #Geauxsaints
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Watching the Saints play well against a red-hot Eagles outdoors in Philadelphia, maybe Kyle Orton with that last interception last weekend just saved Cowboys fans an expensive and painful game today.
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Think I speak for a lot of women, especially moms, in America when I say “Awesome comeback Andrew #Luck,” now can you go shave?

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But watching that Immaculate Recovery – the fumble Andrew Luck recovered for a TD, have to wonder, did God get tired of waiting for some team to sign Tebow, and decide to become a Colts fan?

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Three interceptions and four touchdowns. Andrew Luck basically had the NFL equivalent of Bob Brenly’s September 14, 1986 game at Candlestick.

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So when the Colts won, did the 1993 Houston Oilers pop champagne?’

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Kirk Cousins said that RGIII will have input into choosing the next Washingon Redskins coach. Sounds like good news. For the rest of the the NFC East.

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Amazon.com founder Jeff Bezos was evacuated from the Galapagos Islands by an Ecuadorian navy helicopter due to kidney stones. Wonder if this was covered with Amazon Prime?

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Go figure. the NFL has assigned Jeff Triplette to be the referee for the Chargers-Bengals playoff game. This after a year where Triplette messed up the downs in the Dec. 1 Giants-Redskins game, and incorrectly called a touchdown for Cincinnati – upon review – against the Colts the following week. Maybe the league figures the game won’t be close without a few missed calls?

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Jameis Winston has designs on being another Bo Jackson “if I can convince those guys I can be your quarterback and still go play baseball for the Atlanta Braves or New York Yankees” Uh, leaving the difficulty of two sports aside, does Winston have any idea he might be the QB of say, the Buccaneers, and have his only chance to play baseball for say, the Astros?

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NY Gov. Andrew Cuomo apparently will legalize medical marijuana by executive order. This should be great news for 7-11.

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Steven Seagal says he is considering a run for Arizona governor. Your move, Florida.

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Great joke from my friend Gary Bachman:  “It’s so cold that a woman went into labor while jogging and her ice broke.”

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Move over grumpy cat.

Posted January 4, 2014 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
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The holidays are over, it’s back to work, and how about those NFL seedings?

 

 

Gosh. Nick Saban and Urban Meyer have both lost their BCS bowls. “What a shame” said nobody.

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Although the happiest  Orange Bowl vIewers tonight? Anyone who bet the over.

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All of this talk in the media about what went wrong for Nick Saban and Alabama. Is it just POSSIBLE they played exactly at their level? #SECoverrated

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Major mess of a snow day for the first weekend in January in the New York area. So how many of my fellow bus to hell passengers are hoping we have the same weather the first weekend in February?

 

 

Paul Walker’s death was sad. But at over 100 mph on city streets, can we chalk it up to another DUIT – Driving Under the Influence of Testosterone?

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Houston Texans owner Bob McNair said he is open to trading the team’s #1 pick in the NFL draft. Which is great news – for potential #1 draft picks.

 

 

Heisman Trophy winner Jameis Winston about speculation that FSU coach Jimbo Fisher would leave for Texas saying if if he “goes to Texas, I’m going to ask him can I go with you? Yeah, I’m serious. He’s my coach.” Well, that might add a few millions to the Longhorns’ offer.

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Beanie Babies creator Ty Warner, 69, who pleaded guilty to stashing over $100 million in a Swiss Bank account to evade taxes has asked a judge for probation instead of prison, because he “emerged from an unhappy family and a youth devoid of educational advantages to become, through decades of hard work and extraordinary creativity, a self-made American success story.” So what is this – “adult-onset affluenza?”

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You think you’re absent-minded. The California winner of the Dec. 17 Mega Millions, half of a $648 million jackpot, apparently is a delivery driver who until earlier this week, forgot he had been in San Jose and bought some tickets that day. (At least he could still find them.)

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And re that winner, it’s a safe bet he’s either not married, or didn’t talk to his wife about buying tickets. Because she wouldn’t have forgotten….

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Cowboys owner Jerry Jones favors expanded NFL playoffs. How expanded? Presumably just big enough for Dallas to get in every year.

 

 

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From T.C.   Pope Francis drew a record 6.6 million people to his Vatican events in 2013. This more than double any of his predecessors. “Given numbers like that, there would not be any local TV blackout”, said the NFL.

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What’s in a name?

Posted January 2, 2014 by left coast sports babe
Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
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Kate Winslet will not give her baby son “Bear” her husband’s last name, which is (legally) “RocknRoll. He will be known as Bear Winslet “Of course we’re not going to call (him) RocknRoll. People might judge all they like, but I’m a (bleeping) grown-up.” And she said it with a (bearly?) straight face

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“Gosh it’s so sad seeing Nick Saban lose” said no one in 49 states. (And in Alabama, no one in Auburn.).

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ESPN headline “Jadeveon Clowney ready to make impact in the NFL.”. Considering his being caught twice over 100 mph let’s hope that impact isn’t in a vehicle.

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Can’t imagine how airlines get the reputation for unfriendly pricing. United Airlines has started offering “Premium Wines” by the glass in their United Club at the airport. Like Mark West Pinot Noir at $13. Average retail price for a BOTTLE of the wine as of today – $10, discounted as low as $6.99.

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On Monday, Vikings LB Erin Henderson talked about his DUI arrest Nov. 19 and said “You start to learn a lot about yourself when things can go wrong or bad, if you’re willing to try to learn, if you’re willing to look in the mirror and figure things out. And I think I was able to do that.” On Wednesday, Henderson was arrested again for DUI. Even Lindsay Lohan is thinking that’s a slow learning curve.

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Disappointing to fly back from the Rose Bowl after a Stanford loss. On the other hand, Palo Alto, sunny today with a high of 70. East Lansing, snowy today with a high of 14.

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Maybe just maybe David Shaw kept running up the middle in yesterday’s Rose Bowl because he figured MSU would think Stanford couldn’t possibly be crazy enough to keep doing it and would guess “pass”?

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Over 90,000 attendees at the 2014 Rose Bowl. And only one of them thought Stanford would eventually succeed running up the middle. Unfortunately for Cardinal fans, that one was their coach.

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Mayor Rob Ford has filed papers to run for re-election. Not sure about the citizens of Toronto, but this is excellent news for comedy writers.

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Why there is no satire: A man who won a contest last year to meet the cast of “Breaking Bad” back in September has been arrested on drug charges. (Yeah, you guessed the state. And no, not New Mexico.)

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The next GOP strategy to overturn Obamacare will apparently be to focus on potential security issues with the website. Eric Cantor is saying that Americans shouldn’t have to worry “if they can trust the government to inform them when their personal information — entered into a government mandated website — has been compromised.” Right, on the other hand if banks, stores or social media compromise personal data, well, that’s just a risk of capitalism.

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And in the comedy comes from pain department, Dwight Perry liked one of yesterday’s Rose Bowl jokes.  It’s a great Seattle Times sports humor column.  http://seattletimes.com/html/sidelinechatter/2022586190_chatter03xml.html

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Chaos theory- and a thorny Rose Bowl.

Posted January 2, 2014 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
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Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Handing off to Gaffney didn’t work after the 1st quarter.

“Toto, a band that makes nice straight lines?  I don’t think we’re in Palo Alto anymore.

msu

– And then there’s the LSJUMB.

band

Well maybe this will put an end to all the David Shaw to the NFL rumors.

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Stanford band kept it PG at halftime. But managed to seriously annoy Michigan State fans with a couch burning in East Lansing tribute. (Google it. :))

So will there be extra police security for couches in East Lansing tonight?

Stan Van Gundy referred to the Brooklyn Nets as a “bush league organization” in a radio interview this week.  Thereby prompting demands for an apology. From bush leagues.

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Honda sign at Rose Bowl gate “Don’t forget where you parked. It’s our job to be helpful”. Of course if you get to the gate and already don’t remember where you parked you are hosed.

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Ah Los Angeles. Bellman at hotel tells family they “might want to wait inside” while valet gets their car because “it’s cold out there.”. Temperature? 55 degrees.

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Today in Ann Arbor was the NHL’s “Winter Classic” – an annual outdoor hockey game. And this year  broke attendance records with over 100,000 tickets sold. That’s more people shivering in the cold since the SF Giants’ last sellout at Candlestick.

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Jadeveon Clowney said today he will forgo his senior year and leave South Carolina to enter the NFL draft. Makes sense. Clowney has to find some way to pay for his arrests and speeding tickets.

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Michael Vick said he expects to start at QB in 2014. Hmm. Wonder if there are any openings in the CFL?

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Chilly roses.

Posted January 1, 2014 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
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Tomorrow morning in Pasadena, forecasters are saying it might not quite make it to 60 degrees for the Rose Parade. And in most of the rest of the U.S., folks are thinking ‘Oh, STFU.”

 

In D-1 men’s basketballl, Southern University started with an 44-0 lead, and ending up beating Champion Baptist College 116-12. Down in the SEC, teams immediately started phoning Champion Baptist to see if they have a football team

 

Many NFL teams including the Packers have several thousand tickets available for their weekend playoff games. Wonder if the NFL would dare a playoff blackout?

 

 

Caroline Wozniacki and Rory McIlroy are engaged. Wishing them a happy marriage, but if not it could be a great experiment in genetic engineering.

 

 

So Johnny Manziel can end his college career on a high note. “F*ck yeah. All we needed was two interceptions in the 4th quarter to beat DUKE.?”

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Tim Tebow, signed as an ESPN college analyst, says he is still training five days a week and hopes to return to the NFL.  Seems as likely a chance as…

 

A..most SEC players graduating

B…the Redskins returning to relevance in the NFL

C. hell freezing over.

D. All of the above.

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Why you always want to run a few steps past the finish line. Peyton Manning broke Drew Brees’ single season passing record of 5476 yards Sunday by one yard. Then sat the rest of the game. Now it turns out that one pass may be rules a lateral, leaving him 6 yards short.

( NFL update from their official statistician, the Elias Sports Bureau  “the determination … is that the fairest resolution is for the ruling of the on-site stats crew to stand.”  Translation. “We screwed up, but hey, what’s a record that could have been broken later in the game, as opposed to officiating mistakes causing teams to miss the playoffs.”)

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Now a 2009 video has emerged of Phil Robertson saying you should marry girls “when they are about 15 or 16.” But “you need to check with mom and dad about that of course”. Ah, family values.

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First the security breach on credit cards, now apparently Target is reporting some shoppers are having problems using their gift cards. Beginning to think beyond discounting prices Target is using discounted computer programmers.

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On MSNBC, host Melissa Harris-Perry, who is African-American, is facing criticism and has apologized after she and other panelists joked about Mitt and Ann Romney’s Christmas card. The photo featured the Romney’s over 20 grandchildren including a recently-adopted African-American infant. Where are the “Duck Dynasty” supporters screaming about freedom of speech?

 

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And finally on a bipartisan note to friends and readers and those who are both.  “Happy New Year. May your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.”

 

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Another five bite the dust

Posted December 31, 2013 by left coast sports babe
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Five NFL coaches fired already as of  today. They’re dropping faster than Taylor Swift’s boyfriends.

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Dwayne Wade recently became a father for the third time. But not with the fiancee he proposed to last week. The baby was conceived while he and Gabrielle Union were “on a break.” Kind of explains the 8.5 carat engagement ring. (Wonder if Dwayne got it from Kobe Bryant’s jeweler.)

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Bus to hell time:  Mack Brown’s final game as coach of the Longhorns was Monday’s bowl in San Antonio. And Oregon’s 30-7 win was somehow fitting. Don’t Texans always get slaughtered at the Alamo?

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Temperature in Green Bay Monday, -19. So “who’s got it better than us?”  might refer to whoever sells long thermal underwear to the SF 49ers team and staff.

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Wonder how many people who were traveling or otherwise busy Sunday saw the ESPN headline “Cowboys lose on late pick” and thought “Wow, so Romo was able to play after all?”

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Mike Shanahan was fired Monday morning as coach of the Washington Redskins. An announcement almost as surprising as Brian Boitano coming out as gay.

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The city of NY is suing FedEx Corp for $52 million in fines and taxes, saying the company illegally delivered millions of untaxed cigarettes from an Indian reservation to customers. While we’re on the subject of smokers, should be an interesting year for FedEx shipments from Colorado and Washington….

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On January 1, Colorado will legalize marijuana sales. But pot will still be banned at Denver International Airport. Bummer. That might have been one way to keep travelers mellow with TSA, boarding and luggage issues etc.

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Two suicide bombings yesterday in Volgograd, Russia, only 400 miles from Sochi. And suddenly Vladimir Putin is thinking an Olympics marred only by gay rights protests doesn’t sound too bad.

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A “Price is Right” contestant was thrilled to be the show’s biggest winner ever – winning an Audi R8 black convertible worth $157,300. Do wonder how thrilled she’ll be when she gets the tax bill…..

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Applebee’s Times Square branch is offering a $375 per person New Year’s Eve dinner and party. Which includes food and drink but not a view of the ball drop. $375 for Applebee’s? That’s about as good a value as 50 yard-line tickets for the Washington Redskins.

Miley Cyrus will perform on ABC’s “Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve.”  Wonder how many Americans New Year’s resolutions will include not watching her.

Following on the Target news, now it looks like hackers have swiped credit card information from NY and SF sandwich chain ‘wichcraft. This latest breach occurred between Aug. and Oct. of this year. What’s scarier though… how many of these breaches do we not know about? (yet)

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A recent Pew poll found that only 43% of Republicans believe in evolution, down from 54% in 2009. And 48% believe that “all living things have existed in their present form since the beginning of time.” Would love to be a fly on the wall when these folks take their kids to commie pinko places like the Museum of Natural History….

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or as my friend Jerry Perisho says   “One-third of Americans reject evolution. What a bunch of Neanderthals!”

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Romo, romo, where art thou, romo?

Posted December 30, 2013 by left coast sports babe
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Thanks to Jeff Klein for the picture.

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And thanks to Kyle Orton for the great fourth quarter Tony Romo imitation.

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If consistency is a virtue than the #Cowboys are a truly Godlike team. #eliminatedagain   (Three .500 seasons in a row.)

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Cowboys should have put in Jon Kitna?

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But worst of all for Cowboys fans?  They face the additional heartbreak of not being able to blame it on Tony Romo.

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Congrats to the Chargers. But if it takes a missed 41 yard FG , (and a missed defensive penalty on the attempt) , and then an OT FG to win against a KC Chiefs team that rested 7 starters including their QB…. well, thinking their SD fans might not have to worry about tickets for week 2 of the playoffs.

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Drew Brees, 381 passing yards. Peyton Manning. 266 passing yards. Each with 4 TD passes in the first half. Brees added a rushing TD in the second. Unlikely they both make it to Metlife, but if so and the game isn’t played in a blizzard, might be the highest Super Bowl total score in history.

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Peyton Manning broke Drew Brees’ NFL record for most passing yards in a single season (5,476) today in Oakland. Should the record have an asterisk since it was against the Raiders?

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Rex Ryan and Geno Smith will apparently both be back with the NY Jets next year. Not sure if this will be good news for Jets fans, but it should be for comedy writers.

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Detroit finished off their late season collapse on a consistent note, with their 4th loss of the month (and 6th in their last 7 games.) This December these Lions couldn’t have even beat the Christians.

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The Redskins are expected to fire Mike Shanahan after today’s game. Thereby creating a job opening with the approximate same chance of success as mediating peace in the Middle East.

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So have to wonder, if “Paula’s Best Dishes” and “Paula’s Home Cooking” had the ratings “Duck Dynasty” has, would Paula Deen still have her TV gig?

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A man who was mugged in Central Park this weekend that the mugger took money, but looked disgustedly at his flip phone, and gave it back to him. Yet another reason to carry, if not a flip phone, a Blackberry.

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Kanye West apparently told fans at his Toronto concert this weekend that he plans to keep his opinions to himself for a while. “Might be another, like, six months. At least. You’re just gonna have to run back the interviews and s–t if you wanna hear some realness.” Promise?

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Not faster than a speeding patrol car?

Posted December 29, 2013 by left coast sports babe
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Yasiel Puig was arrested this morning on a reckless driving charge for driving 110 mph on Alligator Alley (I-75) in Florida. (Puig had similar charges dismissed earlier this year by doing community service.) Women are thinking “110 mph. Wow. he’s going to get hurt or kill someone.” Men are thinking “110 mph. Wow. Wonder what he drives?”

 

One good thing for the Dodgers to come out of Puig’s arrest today in Florida. At least they know that with Los Angeles traffic there’s no way to get up to 110 mph anywhere near Dodger Stadium.

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Not faster than a speeding cheetah either…. an animal Darwin award:   A wild deer, presumably from nearby Rock Creek Park, apparently jumped into the cheetah enclosure at the National Zoo in Washington, D.C. A spokeswoman called the result “a normal and expected reaction.” (And presumably a savings in this week’s meat bill.) The zoo added that there were no witnesses, other than the cheetahs.

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Notre Dame RB George Atkinson was suspended from the Pinstripe Bowl, and tweeted “For those of you who are wondering I was suspended from today’s game for texting friends and family during team meal.” The tweet was then deleted. Wonder how long he’ll be suspended for posting it….

(although for much of the game against Rutgers, which ended up 29-16 but was close in the first half, most of the Fighting Irish looked as if they wished they had been suspended.)

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Wonder if Atkinson thought about the excuse of texting a dying girlfriend?

 

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Marijuana will be legal in Colorado in three days. Talk about High Holy Days…

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A couple from Andalusia, AL just named their newborn daughter Krimson Tyde. Going to be ugly if she grows up and goes to Auburn.

(My friend Michael D. suggests, why not just call her Menstrual Flo and get it over with?)

 

The Cleveland Cavaliers suspended Andrew Bynum for “conduct detrimental to the team.” And fans of the 6-23 Milwaukee Bucks are thinking “Can you do that to the whole team?”

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Police arrested a Charleston, SC woman for domestic abuse after she allegedly injured her husband by hitting and stabbing him with a ceramic squirrel. Apparently she was angry that he came home Christmas Eve without the beer she had sent him to buy. Wonder if the couple had moved to Charleston from Florida?

 

Southwest Airlines announced they are pulling out of Key West, Branson and Jackson on June 6, 2014. Translation, other airlines are raising their fares to those cities June 7, 2014.

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And the winner might be?

Posted December 28, 2013 by left coast sports babe
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Alas, too late in the year to qualify for the 2013 Darwin voting. In Bali, a security guard volunteered to catch a 15 ft-Python on the grounds of the Hyatt, which is closed for renovation. He got the snake by the head ahd tail and put it around his shoulders. Whereupon the python promptly strangled him.

 

Shin-Soo Choo at today’s press conference in Arlington was asked why he was drawn to Texas. He said he “was looking for a winning team — that is the most important thing for him and his career.” Right. Choo must have been dazzled by all those World Series trophies..

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Tony Romo  had season-ending back surgery Friday. So looks like his season will be 1 game shorter than that of his Cowboys teammates.

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With Tony Romo out, and math teacher Jon Kitna suited up on the sidelines, this means we are one hard hit on Kyle Orton away from a possible Disney movie….

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In Argentina on Christmas Day, about 70 people were injured, non-fatally, when they were attacked at a beach by a swam of piranhas. Has the made-for-tv movie started filming yet? #Piranhanado?

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When Jadeveon Clowney was stopped for going 84 mph in a 55 zone, he was 6 miles from the stadium – where his South Carolina team was leaving for the airport “in three minutes.” Assuming this guy survives to sign with an NFL team, maybe his contract can include a car and driver and a clock?

 

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A California man pleaded guilty today to a federal terrorism charge after using Facebook to connect with Al Qaeda. How dumb are crooks? Not sure how long it might have taken NSA to catch him but FB probablly took about five minutes to show the guy ads for weapons, bombs, flights out of the country..

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Some complicated permutations with the NFL playoffs depending on the Sunday’s results. But to be fair, some of those potential upsets are as likely as the Sacramento Kings beating the Miami Heat….

 

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So the NFL just said that Peyton Manning’s 50th TD pass against the Houston Texans, which tied Tom Brady’s mark for most TD’s in a season, shouldn’t have counted because it was really an incomplete pass. And this matters because Brady has never received the benefit of the doubt from the officials….

 

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About 10 days ago Target said 40 million customers MAY have had their credit and debit cards impacted. Originally this was between Black Friday and December 6. Then December 15. Then they were definitely impacted. But it wasn’t PINS. Now it’s PINs but they were encrypted, so it shouldn’t be a problem….. So heck, let’s scream again about government intrusion and praise the private sector.

 

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So let me get this straight. “Duck Dynasty,” is a reality show about a large conservative redneck family in Louisiana, who are serious about prayer and guns. Not probably a favorite amongst liberals in the first place. Then the patriarch is suspended over un-PC statements which I’d guess a large percent of their audience had no problem with. Much outrage from fans resulted. And now Robertson is back, and no doubt ratings will skyrocket. Can’t imagine how any one might think this was a publicity stunt.

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So now that Phil Robertson is back on “Duck Dynasty”, who’s going to be the next reality TV star to try to jump start their ratings by saying something offensive? Should we start a pool?

 

 

From Bill Littlejohn:   The NFL says they are prepared to move the Super Bowl to another day if snow threatens the game. The Pope reportedly sent the league a tweet “Don’t even think about Easter.”

 

(another day for the Super Bowl?  Ladies and Gentlemen, I think we have a new prop bet.)

The NFL is prepared to move the Super Bowl to another day if snow threatens the game. The Pope sent a tweet that read, ‘Don’t even think about Easter’. – See more at: http://hqprincegeorge.com/home/hart_attack/news/v/Local/318968/Hartley-Miller-s-Hart-Attack-December-27-2013-Edition-451#sthash.c456aNZL.dpuf

The NFL is prepared to move the Super Bowl to another day if snow threatens the game. The Pope sent a tweet that read, ‘Don’t even think about Easter’. – See more at: http://hqprincegeorge.com/home/hart_attack/news/v/Local/318968/Hartley-Miller-s-Hart-Attack-December-27-2013-Edition-451#sthash.c456aNZL.dpuf

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Seasoned greetings.

Posted December 26, 2013 by left coast sports babe
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Conservative GOP Rep. Steve King of Iowa tweeted from Oslo that he was enjoying a Christmas meal that included reindeer. And Republicans claim that liberals are the ones with the War on Christmas?

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Three men were were killed and two others injured in a Christmas Eve shooting in a N.J. strip club. Have to wonder if the two injured men wished they were dead rather than having to explain to their wives what they were doing in a strip club on Christmas Eve.

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Got to be a major bummer for some of those people whose gifts didn’t arrive on time from UPS, especially when those gifts were intended for children. But maybe a couple lessons for future. 1. Shop early. Not like Christmas sneaked up on anyone as far as the date. 2. Shop local!

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Jon Kitna, 41, and now a math teacher, says he will donate the $53,000 he gets for Sunday’s game to his high school now that he has officially signed with the Cowboys after passing his physical. Pretty impressive. Many current and former NFL players couldn’t even pass math.

 

Delta Airlines said they will honor some ridiculously low fares they posted by mistake on their website, fares that were in the $50 range cross country. Off course anyone traveling on such a fare will have nominal charges of $300 per checked bag, $200 for a seat assignment or carry-on bag, $500 for any changes etc…..

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McDonald’s has taken down a “employee resourse” website which, amongst other things, noted that “while convenient and economical for a busy lifestyle, fast foods are typically high in calories, fat, saturated fat, sugar, and salt and may put people at risk for becoming overweight.” The question isn’t why McDs took the site down, but whose bright idea it was to put it up in the first place?

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Michigan State has suspended LB Max Bullough, a senior, and one of the Spartans’ top players on defense, for violating team rules, so he will miss the Rose Bowl. This would never have happened if Ohio State was going to Pasadena. Urban Meyer would have made his player’s suspension start January 2.

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Little Caesar’s Bowl today at Ford Field features Bowling Green vs Pittsburgh. Two of the only schools who would consider a trip to Detroit with an indoor stadium as an actual reward.

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San Diego Chargers rookie WR Keenan Allen, the team’s top receiver, said he was originally so frustrated that he thought about quitting football at the beginning of the season. As opposed to players on the Redskins and Lions, who quit during the season.

 

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All boxed up?

Posted December 26, 2013 by left coast sports babe
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Today is Boxing Day in the United Kingdom. And wonder how many folks in the U.S. are thinking “Boxing? Is that because they don’t have guns for “‘Shooting Day?”

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And in California, home of the “10 cents for even a lousy paper bag” law,  people hear ” Boxing Day” and think “Are they charging for a cardboard box next?”

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The story from Dallas is that Tony Romo is in “no condition to practice.’. And Cowboys fans are thinking “that never stopped him from playing.”

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But If it is better to give than receive then this year the Detroit Lions are the best team in the NFL

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So while stores don’t open until December 26 in the morning, many retailers started online sales Christmas night.  So unlike Thanksgiving where folks could abandon their relatives to head to the mall, this December 25 they could simply ignore them with a tablet or smartphone.

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A UPS backlog means that many Americans didn’t get the Christmas gift deliveries they had been promised. .  And now the story is out that FedEx also had problems. Sort of gives you a new appreciation for reindeer.

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On Christmas Eve, Justin Bieber tweeted, “My beloved beliebers I’m officially retiring.” And millions of Americans went “Thank you Santa.”

 

Evelyn Lozada, who was on “Basketball Wives” as the fiancee of Antoine Walker, and who was married to Ochocinco for 2 months, has now announced she is engaged to Carl Crawford, who is the father of her unborn baby. Clearly this is all the fault of society disintegrating because of gay marriage.

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Dear Gawd. Edward “Enough about me, let’s talk about me” Snowden, appeared in a new videotaped interview bemoaning that “a child born today will never have a private moment.” Uh, maybe unless that child does something now revolutionary like paying cash, or simply  living a moment off line and away from camera phones?

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Pope Francis today, asking everyone, including people of other religions and “even non-believers” to desire peace. Although looking at much of the strife in the world today with various religious factions, the “non-believers’ are not the problem.

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Not a creature was stirring

Posted December 25, 2013 by left coast sports babe
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Well, actually it would be a good time for a stirring mouse.

 

T’is the season.  (Cats in the picture are Ashton, aka sh*t for brains – and Xena – aka warrior princess – aka voodoo cat.)

 

Now back to snark.

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“He knows when you are sleeping, he knows when you’re awake….” So will Edward Snowden’s next attempt for asylum be an offer to some country to divulge the secrets of Santa?

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T’is the season for creative Darwin awards. This was another near miss. At the Denver Zoo during the Holiday Lights event, an allegedly drunk woman was rescued from the elephant enclosure after she somehow wandered in and was zapped by an electric fence. The lions are no doubt disappointed she didn’t wander into THEIR enclosure.

 

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Apparently Tony Romo received an epidural after Sunday’s game. Not sure if this will have the Cowboys QB ready to play next week, but maybe it will give him a waiver next year to use some of Manny Ramirez’s female fertility drugs?

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Eliot Spitzer and his wife Silda today announced they are ending their 16 year marriage. Based on their business backgrounds and relationship for the past few years this final dissolution must have been decided on based on something deep and important, like 2013 tax returns.

 

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From my funny friend Alex Kaseberg:  For all those who remember the great Johnny Carson.  And even for those who don’t:

 

” Carnac the Magnifigant, envelope to head: “Ho, ho, ho.”  (Rips envelope and pulls out question: “How do you say hello to the Kardashian sisters.”)

 

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Aaron Rodgers is still uncertain if he can play in Green Bay’s game Sunday against the Bears. Maybe this is God’s karmic payback for that “Discount Double Check” commercial?

 

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Mike D’Antoni says if Lakers fans ” are discouraged, then, you know, find another team to root for. ” But gosh, where would fans in the Los Angeles area go to find another decent NBA team?”

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Wonder how many people who are screaming about not having enough advance warning to sign up for Obamacare were also rushing around desperately Tuesday trying to finish their Christmas shopping.

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Dallas owner and GM Jerry Jones said that Jason Garrett’s is NOT coaching for his job Sunday and that Garrett’s future is ‘bright with the Cowboys.” If true, maybe only because Jones won’t admit he made a mistake hiring the coach in the first place. (And this might be first time this year “bright” and “Cowboys” get used in the same sentence.)

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During the SF 49ers’ last night at Candlestick Park there were 81 ejections and 30 arrests. Sounds like an average Giants-Dodgers game at the ‘Stick.

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For whom the Stick tolls

Posted December 24, 2013 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

Mike Tirico’s ESPN sign off after MNF tonight “What a great night to say farewell to Candlestick Park, perhaps the last game played at this great stadium.” At this great stadium? Uh, did someone check the brownies in the SF press box?

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Boise State QB Joe Southwick, dismissed from the team and sent home before the Hawaii Bowl, took a polygraph test to prove he was unfairly accused of peeing off a hotel balcony. He says he only watched others do it. (Of course, considering the probable amount of alcohol involved, is it possible Southwick just doesn’t remember?)

(and just imagine how thrilled folks were who spent a lot of money on a Hawaii vacation must have been to stay in that same hotel.)

Uh oh. Steve Martin sent out a racially offensive joke on Twitter.com Although he has apologized. Should we boycott SNL reruns? I don’t think they sell his merchandise at Cracker Barrel….

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Here’s a bipartisan simple idea for solving the whole offensive comment issue. If an ENTERTAINER says something that really offends you – don’t watch their show. And if you are really unhappy, don’t patronize their advertisers. But doesn’t living in a free country mean that people are free to be idiots?

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Former Dallas WR Michael Irvin said yesterday “I don’t know if anybody has less talent than the Dallas Cowboys, now.” And both the Houston Texans and Washington Redskins responded, “Who are we, chopped liver?”

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Lions head coach Jim Schwartz was unhappy hearing boos from the Detroit fans towards the end of yesterday’s game. Well, he probably won’t be hearing them next year.

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Junior Jerian Grant, Notre Dame’s leading men’s basketball scorer, had to leave the school and the team for the rest of the season “due to an academic manner that [he] did not handle properly.” At Kentucky they are asking “What is an “academic matter?”

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Kate Winslet named her newborn son “Bear.” Well, either she wants him to grow up and coach at Alabama, or the actress believes in full employment for child psychologists.

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According to ESPN Dallas Cowboys QB Tony Romo will miss the rest of the season with a back injury. Bummer. This is the equivalent of Santa giving a lump of coal to comedy writers.

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If they’re going to have challenges and instant replay in the NFL, why not allow a challenge as to whether or not a penalty should have been called. Seen way too many games this year turn on either a bad call or a bad non-call. #Missingreplacementrefs

Comments: 2 Comments

The Winter of our Discontent?

Posted December 23, 2013 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

Pope Francis apparently warned Vatican administrators that they need to focus on service instead of bureaucratic squabbling. Can the Pope come over here and give that message to Congress?

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If football was like hockey, a three-period game, the #DetroitLions would be printing playoff tickets.

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Who’d a thunk this one. The NFC North is actually making the NFC East look decent.

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So did that many people who were offended by Phll Robertson’s comments ever watch #DuckDynasty in the first place?

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ESPN reports that their is “concern internally” that entire Dallas Cowboys coaching staff may be fired after the season. After yet another year dealing with Jerry Jones, is it concern or hope?

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Both the #NYJets and #NYGiants win on the same day. Hoping we don’t see any more signs of a coming apocalypse.

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Rex Ryan reportedly told his team Saturday night that he was getting fired. Sunday the Jets beat the Browns 24-13. Not sure if the players were trying to bolster their coach or if they were celebrating.

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Can understand how some Native Americans feel insulted by a team with a “Redskins” nickname, but the way this season is going have to assume a lot of ranchers are equally insulted by “Cowboys.”

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The New Orleans Saints on Sunday once again proved that the number one oxymoron in football is the “prevent defense.”

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Republicans are now trying to argue against Obamacare by saying it will saddle young people with the medical expenses of older, sicker Americans. Uh, as if they aren’t already paying with Medicare?

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Justine Sacco, the former IAC PR executive who was fired over an insensitive and stupid tweet about AIDS wrote a long careful apology and sent it to a South African paper. Shame she didn’t think about the original Twitter message one-tenth as long as she did about the apology.

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Texas A&M suspended freshman linebacker Darian Claiborne following his arrest on two drug possession charges. And Aggie fans are thinking “at least Johnny Manziel wasn’t with him.”

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From my friend Abbe Nelson “What is that saying??? Does a bear shit in the woods, or does a Bear play like shit in Philadelphia?”

Comments: 1 Comment

Early Christmas blessings.

Posted December 22, 2013 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

Thinking the BCS should be sending San Jose State’s team a major Christmas present. Had the Spartans not beaten Fresno State, the Bulldogs instead of being humiliated in Las Vegas by USC, would have been blown out in a major BCS bowl.

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So in “Miracle on 34th Street”, much is made over the question of whether a beloved but allegedly fictional character is real. Sort of like if they made a move about a Chicago Cub wearing a World Series ring.

 

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Washington State did such an incredible job of snatching defeat out of the jaws of victory. Are we sure Tony Romo isn’t somehow involved?

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Who’d have expected this a handful of years ago? That USC beating Stanford in football would have been an upset? And that the Trojans’ reward for that win would have been a berth in today’s Royal Purple Las Vegas Bowl?

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Meanwhile USC fans chanted “over-rated” at Fresno State as the Trojans demolished the Bulldogs. And really, the only chance Fresno State probably would have had in the game is if Lane Kiffin were still coaching at USC.

 

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Some people seem to have a problem with the idea that “freedom of religion” doesn’t mean just “freedom to follow MY religion.” And the same folks also don’t seem to get that “free speech” doesn’t just mean “freedom to say something I agree with.”

 

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That infamous PR executive who tweeted “Going to Africa. Hope I don’t get AIDS. Just kidding. I’m white!” has been fired. Guessing unless she changes her name, she won’t have to explain to any other potential future employer “So why did you leave your last position?”

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Lindsey Vonn, who thought she injured her right knee today in a fall during the World Cup Downhill, says she didn’t do any new damage and she still plans to compete in the Sochi Olympics. Who does Lindsey think she is? RGIII?

 

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Guess Scott Boras miscalculated. Shin Soo Choo ended up signing with the Texas Rangers for 7 years, and only $130 million, after he reportedly earlier turned down 7 years and $140 million with the Yankees. Poor Choo, how will he feed his family?

 

Uh oh, now what do some in the GOP do? In a People magazine interview, when the President was asked “Who would you rather spend the day with: Kim and Kanye or the Duck Dynasty Family?’ Obama said the Duck Dynasty family, that “they seem like a pretty fun bunch” and he has watched the show on Air Force One.

 

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Target’s commercials – “Expect more, pay less.”  Well, they may have the “pay less” down. But 40 million people expected more security.

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Couldn’t they have used a car phone?

Posted December 21, 2013 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

Uh, oh. North Korea is getting technologically advanced. They have threatened South Korea to “strike mercilessly without notice.” The threat was sent by fax.

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Another longer threat was sent by mail. But in South Korea they can’t view it to respond until they find someone who has a Betamax player.

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To all those in the GOP screaming about free speech with Mr. Duck Dynasty, I somehow missed your defense of Alec Baldwin

(And heck, Baldwin even goes after photographers, which might count as “lame-stream media.)

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Mississippi State was fined $25,000 by the SEC for violating the league’s “artificial noisemaker” policy. The fine stems from a fan tradition of showing up at games with cowbells, which can only be used at “approved times.” So alas I guess it’s true, you CAN have too much cowbell.

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Since he’s doing so well as Governor of California, a group is trying to get Jerry Brown to run for President again. Does it occur to them that the reason Jerry is doing such a good job is that he no longer cares about running for President?

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Domino’s has apparently come up with a vegan pizza with soy cheese in Israel. And they may someday introduce it here in the U.S. For all those health food types who have been longing to order from Domino’s – both of them.

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Carlos Beltran says now he has always wanted to be a Yankee, and “it means a lot to me.” Yeah, $45 million to be exact.

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Five days after Mack Brown resigned, many Texas football players said they never saw it coming. Which is shocking in and of itself. Not surprised when athletes don’t pay attention to their studies, but when they don’t pay attention to ESPN….

 

TARGET is offering a 10% discount Saturday and Sunday to apologize to shoppers for exposing 40 million credit cards to hackers. Here’s an idea, how about a 5% discount, and spend the other 5% on upgrading their credit card security?

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A federal judge struck down Utah’s same-sex marriage ban Friday. Thereby incensing many in the state who believe that marriage should remain a sacred bond between a man, and a woman, and a woman, and maybe yet another woman.

 

Tonight’s pre-Olympic exhibition game featured a brawl between the U.S and Canada women’s hockey teams. A brawl resulting in 10 fighting majors and other penalties. Hmm, if this keeps up could result in serious women’s hockey ratings.

 

 

Economic Darwin award for the day:  A woman who is head of PR for IAC, (parent company of Vimeo, Tinder and OkCupid) tweeted before she got on a flight tonight “Headed to Africa. Hope I don’t get AIDS. Just kidding, I’m white.” Her company’s response? “This is an outrageous, offensive comment that does not reflect the views and values of IAC. Unfortunately, the employee in question is unreachable on an international flight, but this is a very serious matter and we are taking appropriate action.” Anyone looking for a job opening in PR?

Comments: 3 Comments

Only one more shopping day

Posted December 20, 2013 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

Until the first NCAA football FBS bowl game of the year.

 

And if you know the name of the game, and who’s playing, and you’re not an alum of either team…. you probably have two much time on your hands.

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The NFL said today it “strongly opposes” the FCC trying to end their 40-year sports blackout rule. Right. Because the average team only made $44 million in operating profit last year. (Source – Forbes) The owners have to feed their families.

 

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Kobe Bryant, who just returned from a torn Achilles, has fractured his knee and will miss at least six weeks. So wonder how much Jack Nicholson is offering for courtside seats to the Clippers?

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Olympic figure skating champion Brian Boitano came out as gay today. “I’m shocked” said absolutely nobody.

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Whatever you think of President Obama, sending Russia a U.S delegation w/ ,  &  does perhaps rank as the most elegant one, or rather three-finger salute of his presidency.

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Pope Francis now has stated that he supports breastfeeding and he is okay with women doing it in public. Can we start a pool on when Rush Limbaugh’s head will explode?

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Airbus, which would like airlines who buy their planes to put fewer seats in them, did a recent study of passengers. 54% said “an increase of comfort in economy class was critical or absolutely critical.” Perhaps those 54% should have a more reasonable dream – like winning the lottery.

 

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As a British phone hacking scandal broadens, now it’s been revealed that Prince William referred to Kate as “babykins.” The Palace is not amused, but hey, on the other hand, an heir to the throne saying sweet nothings to his own wife…..

 

 

John Boehner is calling out “conservative groups”, Peter King said Rand Paul owes “that patriot,” NID Director James Clapper, an apology for saying he should resign for “lying” to a Senate committee about govt surveillance, and Glenn Beck called Chris Christie a “fat nightmare.”   Remember when not belonging to any organized party meant being a Democrat?

Somewhere Will Rogers is smiling.

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So the government apparently has had access to some of our phone calls. On the other hand, in the private sector, Target apparently allowed access to 40 million Americans’ credit cards.

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Fortunately there appear to be no fatalities after the roof collapsed at London’s Apollo Theatre tonight during a performance of “The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time. although as many as 80 people may have been injured. But think of all the men who reluctantly went along with their wives who had said “Honey, just come with me to one show, how much could it hurt?”

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“Duck Dynasty” is on hiatus, after their star was suspended for anti-gay comments. So what are viewers to do who find “Honey Boo-Boo” too intellectual?

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Well of course she did. Sarah Palin has defended Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson: “Free speech is an endangered species. Those ‘intolerants’ hatin’ and taking on the Duck Dynasty patriarch for voicing his personal opinion are taking on all of us.” Right. Free speech is important… unless it’s from anyone taking on Sarah herself.

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So this is what Phil Robertson actually said when asked what is sinful. “Start with homosexual behavior and just morph from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men.” Uh, START with homosexual behavior? Why didn’t he start with “sleeping around?” Except that that would alienate too many of his fellow conservatives, including the junior senator from his home state of Louisiana.

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Rainbow delegation.

Posted December 19, 2013 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

President Obama has chosen Billie Jean King as a leader of the U.S. delegation to the Olympic games in Sochi. The decision has to be tough for some conservatives who normally oppose gay rights. Because it’s also giving the finger to Putin.

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Keith Richards turned 70 Wednesday. “I’ll take – ‘Celebrities we never expected to make it to 40 for $600, Alex.'”

 

A Kansas news anchor who was heard at the end of a live broadcast saying “let’s get the f— out of here” was fired by his station. Well, that’s one way to get the “f— out of there.”

 

One of the problems in this country is that most Americans think they have a better chance of winning the Mega Millions than being killed in an car accident while they check the winning numbers on their phones.

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On the other hand, it’s not just Americans,  A  Taiwanese tourist in Melbourne, Australia walked off a pier and fell into the bay. She told police who rescued her “I was checking my Facebook page on the phone and I’ve fallen in.'” And somewhere Darwin again is updating his status “Missed it by THAT much.”

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The NY Yankees have been fined $28 million in luxury tax. $28 million? That’s barely enough to cover a utility infielder.

 

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A now former Walmart employee was so unhappy he didn’t win “Employee of the Month” that he fired a gunshot at the car of the co-worker who did. Do we really need to ask in what state?

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Washington LB London Fletcher said today he’s “99% sure” he’ll retire from professional football after this season. Which means he could be back in 2014 with the Redskins.

 

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Richard Sherman says it’s a bad idea to host the Super Bowl in a cold weather city. Though he added “Seattle’s stadium has been around since 2002 and we’d be a great host.” Tomorrow’s forecast for Seattle? 2-5 inches of snow….

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New SF Giants left fielder Michael Morse, who seems like a nice guy, was asked about A T & T’s less than hitting- friendly reputation. “If you hit one, you hit one. It doesn’t matter what park you’re at.” And some of his new teammates just giggled.

 

Starbucks expects to break last year’s single day record, and sell more than 2 million gift cards today  – the Thursday before Christmas – at an average cost of about $35 a card. Which is enough to buy the lucky recipients at least four cups of coffee.

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NFL Senior VP of Events Frank Supovitz “I think it would be better if it snowed a little bit during the game. I think it’ll just make it more memorable.” Spoken by a man who never played football, who will have private transportation to MetLife Stadium and who will watch the game from an indoor luxury suite.

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We have a budget deal and the Fed said the economy is so strong it doesn’t need as much stimulus. Plus the Obamacare website is improving. You know what means… time for more GOP hearings on Benghazi.

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Khloe Kardashian has tweeted about her split from Lamar Odom – “this is Torture to My Soul.” Shocking! A Kardashian has a soul?

 

From Jim Barach:  “Doctors in Brazil performed a C-Section on a woman who wasn’t pregnant. That would be like scheduling brain surgery on Donald Trump.”

Or I am thinking, heart surgery on Dick Cheney.

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Pippa Middleton is engaged to be married. No word on a date but might be the first time in history millions of men turn in to see the wedding dress…preferably from the back.pippa

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Lottery fever?

Posted December 18, 2013 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

When they total U.S. retail sales this December will Mega Millions lottery tickets count?

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So were all these people rushing to buy tickets risking affluenza?

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A winning Mega Millions jackpot ticket was purchased today in San Jose. The winner might have almost enough to buy Santa Clara 49ers season tickets.

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Okay I admit it, my coworkers went in for a handful of Mega Millions tickets today, I declined. But when I heard “winning ticket sold in the South Bay,” yes, there was a second of “uh oh….”

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Channel 2 in the SF Bay Area is doing “Breaking News” on the winning “Mega Millions” ticket. So every few minutes they were  showing a live picture… of a locked up gift store in San Jose….

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Edward Snowden has written an “open letter to the people of Brazil” saying he is willing to help the country investigate U.S. surveillance of Brazilian citizens. Translation: Snowden is already tired of living in Russia.

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Eight tech officials, including CEO’s from Apple, Facebook, Yahoo and Google, wrote a letter to Obama and Congress calling for curbs to NSA surveillance. Apparently they want the surveillance left to the corporate sector.

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It may be December, but those Thanksgiving stalwarts the Dallas Cowboys and Detroit Lions apparently decided to do their giving on the field this week.

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–The Harvard bomb threat that closed several buildings on Monday was apparently emailed in by a student to administrators, police and the Harvard Crimson. The young man in question was scheduled to take an exam that day. You’d think if he had time to think of the scheme, he also had time to study.

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Urban Meyer says he’s an “awful loser. I guess I’d rather be known as that than as a good loser.” I have news for the OSU coach. He’s not known as a good winner either.

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Oregon CB Troy Hill has been suspended following his arrest last Friday for “menacing” and “criminal mischief.” Well, the Ducks may not be going to a BCS bowl, but good to see their players are still in NFL prospect form.

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Scientists at Emory University devised an algorithm using Twitter to figure out how various NFL fan bases deal with wins and losses. Turns out the Raiders fans have the biggest swings between happy and sad. Good thing they stuck with football, Cubs fans might have crashed the system.

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Harold Camping, the California preacher who freaked out thousands of people when he predicted the end of the world has died at age 92. So wonder if his predictive power was at least good enough to know he didn’t need to buy Christmas presents.

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Back in Texas, an advisor to Attorney General Greg Abbott tweeted earlier this fall that State Senator Wendy Davis is “too stupid to be governor.” “Too stupid to be governor” of Texas? Didn’t think based on recent history that was possible.

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A Delta flight slid some distance off the runway last night in the snow at Madison Airport. The important question for many this time of year… did the airline at least give passengers a few extra frequent flier miles?

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The Charlotte Bobcats said they will unveil their new “Charlotte Hornets” logo Dec. 21, The team will rename itself for the 2014-15 season. Alas they will have a new name, new uniforms and the same lousy players

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Some 49ers fans plan to taunt Seahawks fan by purchasing a billboard in Seattle with pictures of the five Super Bowl trophies SF has won. Fair enough…but no doubt Seahawks fans will in turn point out that they can see the billboard on their way to home playoff games.

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Justin Bieber said during an L.A. radio interview that “After the new album, uh, I’m actually, uh, I’m retiring man, I’m retiring…” Alas, unlike Megyn Kelly, Bieber probably really WAS joking.

 

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What’s a few zeros…

Posted December 17, 2013 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

The Mega Millions jackpot, already at $586 million, may reach a billion before Tuesday’s drawing because of lottery fever. Right, because there are so many things you can’t buy for half a billion….

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Marissa Mayer is one of several tech executives scheduled to meet with President Obama Tuesday. Because maybe her changes with Yahoo mail have made the Obamacare website look good by comparison?

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Of course, there’s a good chance Obama wanted to meet with Mayer last month, but his invite got caught in Yahoo mail spam.

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Starting today, San Francisco has free wi-fi on Market Street. Yet another excuse for pedestrians to walk right into traffic,,,,

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A water leak filled a skyway bridge and closed one of the Terminals at San Jose Airport this morning. No word on a re-opening time, but wonder who will be the first airline to institute a pump fee.

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At Harvard, fake bomb threats resulted in the evacuation of some buildings and the cancellation of some final exams. And in the SEC, football players preparing for bowl games asked “What are final exams?”

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Dez Bryant said the reason he left the field early in the Cowboys’ loss to the Packers is that he didn’t want to be seen crying on the sideline. And Dallas fans are thinking “How do you think WE felt?”

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Why should New Jersey have a monopoly on Gubernatorial political comedy? Donald Trump now says he might run for Governor of New York next year.

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Peyton Manning was named SI’s “Sportsman of the Year.”   Now, the Broncos just lost their last game and who knows about the playoffs. But maybe this year’s award should be subtitled “Biggest name star least likely to embarrass himself or get arrested.”

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Ravens-Lions on MNF. Good economic stimulus. Because most of the country said “Meh, let’s go shopping.”

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ESPN says that Nick Saban brought Lane Kiffin to Tuscaloosa to help evaluate the Crimson Tide offense. This could be good news. For Oklahoma.

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–Chip Kelly, rumored to be a candidate for the U Texas head-coaching job, said “It’s just speculation, but I’m not involved in any jobs. I’m the coach of the Philadelphia Eagles.” So given past history when Kelly announced he was staying at Oregon it will be about 10 days before he heads to Austin?

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The New Orleans Saints are apparently mulling a change after Garrett Hartley missed another two field goals yesterday. Hey, Morten Andresen is only 53 now!

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A 58 year old SF woman, accused of speeding at over 80 MPH on city streets in her Mercedes-Benz this September, will be charged with felony vehicular manslaughter for crashing into a minivan, and killing a 16-year-old boy. So will there be an adult “affluenza” defense? 
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If it is better to give than receive, then the #DallasCowboys in the second half yesterday were the best team in the #NFL

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Great ending for the Ravens with a 61 yard field goal to win at the end of the 4th quarter. Does this mean Nick Saban is more likely to bolt Alabama for the NFL?

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