Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ category
November 3, 2016
World Series Game 7 was moved up 8 minutes from a 5:08pm to a 5:00pm start, ostensibly to try to get it over before the rain came. Had it started at the scheduled time, that rain delay, instead of giving the Cubs a chance to regroup, would have happened before the bottom of the 9th, possibly meaning Chapman could not have pitched, certainly giving him more time to stew about the blown save.
Hmm, Hillary Clinton is a Cubs fan, where’s the Congressional investigation?
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So if #SFGiants really want to win #WorldSeries again in 2017, maybe they don’t need to sign a closer, just another ex -Oakland A or two..
Time to start a pool on how much Roger Goodell fines Richard Sherman for this one? “The league isn’t fun anymore….they say we’re trying to influence kids, and that’s their biggest thing. That’s their biggest ploy is you don’t want to be a bad influence to kids. You don’t want to be a bad role model. And I can agree with that. But in the same breath, you can’t say Budweiser is the official sponsor of the NFL, and we’re trying to influence kids. ”
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And on the league talking about player safety “That’s for public perception. They don’t care about player safety. But they do care about paying the quarterback $20 million and him missing a season. They do care about that.” #whenShermanisrightheisright
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Lots of outrage on the internet because Neiman Marcus is selling precooked, ready-to-heat-and-serve collard greens for $66. Even Whole Foods is stunned. They would have charged $99.
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A Mississippi lawyer is suing Popeyes after he says he choked on a piece of fried chicken. His claim is that because the restaurant didn’t give him a knife, he had to eat the chicken with his hands instead of cutting it into bite-size pieces.
Uh, how about suing his parents, who didn’t teach him how to chew?
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#MelaniaTrump gave a speech today about cyber bullying. This is like #BillClinton giving a speech on marital fidelity.
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#MelaniaTrump today “Our culture has gotten too mean.” Sounds like she pays as much attention to what her husband says as #MikePence does.
Ted Cruz, who famously said at the RNC convention “Vote your conscience,” is now stumping for Donald Trump. But it’s not as Ted is contradicting himself on conscience – he doesn’t have one.
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Interesting election side note: Both Hillary Clinton nor Donald Trump have detractors, and neither are beloved in their own parties, But while many big names in the GOP have publicly turned on Trump, no major Democrat that I can think of has turned on Hillary. And as a life-long Democrat, I can tell you, it’s NOT because we’re the organized party.
From an anonymous friend about bipartisan pre-election “inner peace..
“A doctor on TV said that in order to have inner peace in our lives during this political season, we should always finish things that we start. Since we all could use more calm in our lives, I looked around my house to find things I’d started & hadn’t finished.
I finished a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminun scriptins, an a box a choclutz. Yu hav no idr how fablus I feel rite now.
Sned this to all ur frenz who need inner piss. An telum u luvum.”
From Bill Littlejohn: “In the wake of the Cubs’ World Series title, scholars say that at least 45% of the prophecies of Nastrodamus will have to be researched and re-interpreted”
Categories: football jokes, GOP jokes, Hillary jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: election jokes, Goodell jokes, Janice Hough, melania jokes, Oakland As jokes, SF Giants jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
November 2, 2016
So expecting the @Cubs to repeat in 2124?
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After tonight I am really going to miss baseball. But I am NOT going to miss Joe Buck.
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Clearly the worst position in sports to be in is to have a 3-1 series lead? #Cubs #Indians #Warriors #Cavs
Well that was fun, so what time is game 8? #WorldSeries
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So many ex-A’s making a difference in #WorldSeries maybe @Athletics should get a playoff share.
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#DavidRoss becomes only man in @MLB history to hit home runs off both #AndrewMiller & #MarkGrace #WorldSeries
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Try explaining this game to someone who’s never paid attention to baseball before? #WorldSeries @Cubs @Indians
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And even to serious baseball fans, what is this sport being played by pitchers who can’t go 6 innings?
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Time to just cancel school in #Chicago & #Cleveland tomorrow already? #WorldSeries #Game7 @Cubs @Indians
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We interrupt warm fuzzy World Series feelings to remind everyone about the Cubs’ owners, the Ricketts famiiy. They launched “Future45,” a conservative PAC who want the 45th President to be a Republican. They spent big against Bernie, and are now spending many millions in pro-Trump attack ads against Hillary Clinton.
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Today is #NationalStressAwarenessDay How could have I forgotten that?
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#AnthonyWeiner mess is disgusting enough to make Democrats long for good old days when our most problematic douchebag was #JohnEdwards.
Awful morning news to hear two policemen ambushed and fatally shot in Iowa. Waiting for Trump to angrily tweet about the news for his campaign. Oh, wait, American-born white male suspect with a Confederate flag Never mind.
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#PaulRyan campaigns across the country for #GOP like he’s playing Password, and #Trump is the secret word he can’t say.
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Trump tweet today about how he is “going to repeal and replace ObamaCare. We will have MUCH less expensive and MUCH better healthcare.”
Of course Trump won’t tell us how he’s going to do this. Like everything else it’s a secret….
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So some GOP congressmen are now worried about a potential impeachment crisis with Hillary Clinton over emails. Haven’t they been planning already to come up with some impeachment reason on Nov 9? When they could find time between votes repealing Obama.
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In North Texas, someone blocked an official polling place sign with a Trump sign, and glued razor blades into the bottom of the placard. A poll worker sustained minor cuts while removing it. #Stayclassy
Categories: baseball jokes, Hillary jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 3-1 jokes, A's jokes, Cubs jokes, election jokes, Janice Hough, Trump jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 6 Comments
November 1, 2016
While we attack political pandering in the US, give White Sox fan Barack Obama major props for not pretending to root for the Cubs in the World Series
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Mets closer Jeurys Familia was arrested yesterday for alleged domestic violence. Shocking NY fans who thought all Familia hit in October was other teams’ bats.
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Add #Familia to the list, along with #Chapman, of closers #SFGiants want nothing to do with.
New ad #JeurysFamilia: “I’m a baseball fan. I’m a Mets fan. I’m NOT A FAN of domestic violence.” Not a fan because he is a DV player? Sigh
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Eagles WR Josh Huff was arrested this morning. He was allegedly speeding while in possession of a gun AND marijuana. So is that the NFL arrest trifecta?
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Sean Payton yesterday “We’re the only league that has officials that have primary other jobs, which is really madness. We can pay these guys. They should be full-time NFL officials, and they should be working throughout the week, communicating”
Can’t wait to see how much Roger Goodell penalizes the Saints for this one.
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Washington LT Trent WIlliams the latest NFL player suspended four -games for violating the league’s substance-abuse policy. But he can still work out and go to team meetings, so should be back and fresh in plenty of time for any potential postseason. Other than the lack of pay anyone but me thinking these wrist-slaps are almost a mid-season vacation?
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The SF 49ers are allowing the most points per game, and are averaging the fewest yards in NFL. Talk about a well-balanced team.
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As the FBI absurdity continues have to think that private meeting Bill Clinton had with Loretta Lynch on the tarmac is making Hillary angrier even than she was about Monica.
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Anti @HillaryClinton ad during the #WorldSeries Sponsored by NRA. Another reason to say #ImWithHer
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If Wikileaks & FBI about to leak every email sent in last 10 years to national media, I’m sure most Americans would have nothing to hide.
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Monday the FBI just happened to release documents about Bill Clinton’s pardon of Marc Rich (remember him?) in 2001. Then they issued a tweet about the files today. Anyone still think the bureau is impartial?
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Shall we start a pool on what documents @FBI will release tomorrow? #VinceFoster, #Whitewater, @HillaryClinton’s report cards? #WTF?
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Regarding John Kasich’s choice to write in John McCain instead of either Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump, wonder if he plans to run for President again in 2020. When no doubt the Ohio Governor would tell Americans he is ready to make the really tough choices facing this country.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, familia jokes, fbi jokes, Janice Hough, Mets jokes, Wikileaks jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
November 1, 2016
Or as they call it in the U.S. – “National half-price candy day.”
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You think you have a hard week at work, imagine all the teachers who have to deal with kids crashing off a sugar high that started Monday night.
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Election has really ruined #Halloween horror movies this year. No way to make fiction scarier than reality.
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Interesting to see some people rooting against the Cleveland Indians because of their Chief Wahoo mascot. But many of those people have no problem with the Chicago Cubs despite their star closer being suspended 30 games for domestic violence. #Priorities
Tim Tebow, who is hitting 147 in the Arizona Fall League, apparently slightly injured his right knee trying to steal second base. Shocking many sports fans that he ever got to first base.
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New England LB Jamie Collins will have his 4-year rookie contract expire at season’s end, and he was asking for big money. Today the Patriots traded Collins to the Browns. Talk about deflating.
Good news for #Bears fans, their team won on #MNF. Bad news for #Bears fans, now for a while they might be stuck with #JayCutler
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In China, a 20-year-old man climbed into a giant panda enclosure to impress two women he was with. While the panda grabbed the guy, and head-butted him, the idiot escaped with only “his pants torn to shreds.” One of those moments you really wish pandas were carnivores.
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A new poll found that while 46% of Americans view Hillary Clinton favorably and 47% unfavorably. those who prefer Fox News split 13% favorably, 84% unfavorably. In related news, the poll found that water is wet.
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Trump campaign manager Kellyanne Conway said today “we don’t plan on making the Comey investigation the main centerpiece of our messaging.” Sounds like Conway pays about as much to what the Donald actually says as Mike Pence does.
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John #Kasich says he wrote in #JohnMcCain‘s name on Presidential ballot. How long until #Trump announces plan to build a wall around Ohio?
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And finally, while we’re on the subject of emails, there’s this letter from Harry Reid to James Comey: “In my communication with you and other top officials in the national security community, it has become clear that you possess explosive information about close ties and coordination between Donald Trump, his top advisers, and the Russian government – a foreign interest openly hostile to the United States, which Trump praises at every opportunity.
‘The public has a right to know this information. I wrote to you months ago calling for this information to be released to the public. There is no danger to American interests from releasing it. ”
This all would be a lot more fun if it weren’t real.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Clinton jokes, Day of the Dead jokes, email jokes, Halloween jokes, Janice Hough, Trump jokes
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October 30, 2016
Santa Clara has accused the 49ers of breaching their contract with the city and is threatening to take over management of Levi’s Stadium. What, did the Niners promise to field a professional team?
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Meanwhile New Orleans hodlds on for 25-20 win. But on Halloween eve, @Saints fans saw again that nothing is scarier than their last minute defense.
(For those who didn’t see, Russell Wilson had less than 2 minutes with no time outs, and what would have been a game winning TD pass as time expired was incomplete only because it was BARELY out of bounds.)
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And in London, the Redskins and Bengals play to a 27-27 tie. Frustrated English fans have to wonder…. “Where are the penalty kicks?”
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No matter whether you’re an Indians or Cubs fan, the good news tonight – the baseball season lasts two more days.
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You know it might not be your year, or your decade, when you’re the Indianapolis Colts, and your leading rushing in today’s loss to the Chiefs was Andrew Luck with 9 carries for 60 yards.
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The Washington Post reports Huma Abedin didn’t have lawyers search the computer she shared with Anthony Weiner, because she didn’t think any of her emails would be on it. But really, leaving politics aside with Huma, apparently there were a lot of things she didn’t know involving her estranged husband.
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Reports are that the FBI reportedly interviewed Angelina Jolie for hours over Brad Pitt allegedly assaulting their teenage son.on their private jet. Can’t wait to see how the GOP spins this against Hillary Clinton. Surely there are emails.
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Trump’s campaign manager Kellyanne Conway says of the man who shouted “Jew-S-A!” at a Trump, his “conduct was deplorable. And had I been there, I would have asked security to remove him.”
Of course had he slammed Muslims, or Mexicans, or “nasty women,” have to wonder if he’d be asked on stage.
Now Donald Trump says “”Wow, Twitter, Google and Facebook are burying the FBI criminal investigation of Clinton. Very dishonest media!”
Right, because there is NO mention of Hillary’s emails on social media. #sarcasm
Maybe Trump might feel differently if he actually READ instead of just posting tweets?
#FBI to process 650,000 emails on #AnthonyWeiner & #HumaAbedin‘s laptop, 650,000?! Will they finish before #Clinton re-election campaign?
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GOP Halloween attack ad? “We’ve tried to bury Hillary Clinton so many times, she’s still alive, she must be a zombie.”
Categories: Uncategorized
Comments: 4 Comments
October 29, 2016
There have only been 5 teams in MLB history to have come back from 3-1 World Series deficits. All of them more recent World Series wins than the Chicago Cubs.
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So how long until they sell t-shirts at #WrigleyField “Wait until next century”? #Cubs #WorldSeries
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Corey Kluber, the latest member to the “Pitchers Who Rake” club. Well, kinda sorta. (infield hit) Somewhere #Madbum is smiling.
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Maybe Jose Fernandez toxicology report, showing he was legally drunk, and with cocaine in his system, will be cautionary tale for young men who think they’re invincible? For about five minutes. But we can dream.
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NC Governor Pat McCory, in a tough re-election fight against Democrat Roy Cooper, is tired of questions about House Bill 2, the anti-LBGT law he signed. In an ad decrying political correctness McCory asks “Are we really talking about this?”
Maybe the question should be “Did you really sign this?”
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Donald Trump today over Comey’s email announcement “This is the lowest point in the history of our country.” Uh, Donald, with your campaign it wasn’t even the lowest point this week.
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When FBI said there would be no charges over #Clinton emails, #GOP claimed Comey was a secret Democrat. After Friday’s letter the GOP is pretending Comey’s not Republican
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Who knows what James #Comey‘s 2017 plans are, but now pretty sure they didn’t include staying #FBI director in a #Clinton administration.
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Saturday was
#NationalCatDay. And cats are sniffing “EVERY day is national cat day.”
Half a show and an evening performance of the New York Metropolitan Opera was cancelled today after a suspicious powder was sprinkled into the orchestra pit. Apparently the powder may have been human ashes. Hope some guy didn’t tell his wife he’d have to be dead before he’d go to another opera.
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An Iowa woman has been arrested for voting twice in the general election. Police said Terri Rote cast an early ballot at the election office and another at a satellite location. In a radio interview, Rote said she first voted for Trump, then worried the ballot would be changed to a Clinton vote. “”I wasn’t planning on doing it twice – it was spur-of-the-moment.The polls are rigged.”
“The polls are rigged? So will the Donald tell supporters to vote as often as possible to combat them? #youcantmakethisstuffup
Categories: Uncategorized
Comments: 1 Comment
October 28, 2016
Jon Stewart, when he quit “The Daily Show” in 2015. “I’d covered an election four times, and it didn’t appear that there was going to be anything wildly different about this one.”
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Another reason baseball is the BEST sport. In a 1-0 game you can’t just play keep-away & try to run out clock. #WorldSeries #Indians #Cubs
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The World Series reminds us again that #As really are a farm system for the rest of MLB. #Crisp #Zobrist #Lester #Russell #Davis #Otero
While the SF Giants are not in the World Series, Giants fans had to like to hear ESPN’s play-by-play announcer Dan Shulman on Indians pitcher Tomlin “”he can handle bat though he’s no Bumgarner.”
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The U.K. Telegraph finally posted an interview with Bob Dylan saying he “absolutely” wants to attend the Nobel Prize Ceremony “if it’s at all possible.”
Actually, Dylan probably gave the interview on the day he won the award, it’s just taken them this long to translate it.
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A recent Chapman University poll showed that 32% of Americans are afraid of climate change, while 42% are afraid of clowns. #BeamMeUpScottieThereIsNoIntelligentLifeOnThisPlanet
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In a debate with Tammy Duckworth, who is a Purple Heart winner from the Iraq War and double amputee, Sen. Mark Kirk made a jab at her mother’s being from Thailand. Among those who have criticized him, KellyAnne Conway. Thereby answering a question “How low do you have to go to be called out by the Trump campaign?”.
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Today is #NationalChocolateDay. And women are going “Isn’t EVERY day ‘National Chocolate Day?'”
Pac 12 Commissioner Larry Scott, answering a reporter’s question about a TV contract that has Cal playing back-to-back weeknight games during a tough academic period. “That hasn’t been a parameter, academic schedules per se, so it hasn’t come up… Well of course not, the idea of big conference television contracts started with the SEC. #whatacademicschedules?
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An American Airlines flight at O’Hare caught fire when a tire apparently blew on takeoff. Expect flight delays. And for United Airlines to immediately institute a tire maintenance fee.
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“New” Clinton emails may be from #AnthonyWeiner. Will #FBI agents reading them get hardship pay for needing to take so many showers?
No doubt Hillary Clinton is furious over the alleged Anthony Weiner messages being used to reopen her FBI email investigation. On the other hand, she has to be very thankful sexting wasn’t an option during Bill’s time in the White House.
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Rumor today that if Hillary Clinton wins she would like to name Biden as Secretary of State. Wonder if this means Joe, who would be 81, wants to run for President in 2024?
From T.C. “Tickets for this weekend’s games at Wrigley will average $5,000 ea. Of course, this includes Steve Bartman’s ticket. The Cubs gave him $10,000 to go watch the game at a bar in Miami.”
Categories: baseball jokes, Hillary jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: airline jokes, chocolate jokes, football jokes, Janice Hough, mark kirk jokes, Trump jokes, Weiner jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
October 27, 2016
If the Raiders head to Las Vegas, Oakland still might not be without a team. At this point Santa Clara/SF might ask them to “take our 49ers, please.”
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The NFL wonders why ratings are down. Lots of complicated hypotheses – but then there are simple answers – like tonight’s nationally televised game – Jaguars vs. Titans. #nobodycares
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Twitter is shutting down #Vine. Advantage of being slow to adopt new technologies, wait long enough & some of it disappears before you get around to it.
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#Twitter announced they are laying off 9% of their workers. Does this mean we’ll soon be down to 127 characters?
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Mike #Pence campaign plane skidded off runway at #LaGuardia. No details but pretty sure it didn’t veer to the left.#Trump
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Earlier today Mike Pence was asked if there was a “red line” Trump could cross that might cause him to leave the GOP ticket. His answer “We’re in this campaign and we’re in it to win,” Translation, “no.”
(Maybe Pence should have told his pilot about red lines on the runway?)
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A Texas A&M freshman was arrested after she allegedly opened her blouse to take a Snapchat picture to send to her boyfriend. While allegedly drunk. And driving. Until she crashed her car… into a police car. No injuries. But another Darwin award #misseditbythatmuch
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More than $5 million worth of cocaine washed ashore in a tube in Ireland. Talk about a high tide.
The GOP is already promising blocked Supreme Court nominees and Congressional investigations if Hillary Clinton wins on Nov. 8. Or as President Obama calls it, business as usual.
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Ted Cruz’s latest “there is long historical precedent for a Supreme Court with fewer justices.” For such a self-described constitutionalist, Ted sure seems to have skipped the “advise and consent” part.
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Former Congressman Joe Walsh tweeted out “On November 8th, I’m voting for Trump. On November 9th, if Trump loses, I’m grabbing my musket. You in?”
Ah yes, that GOP bridge to the 18th century.
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At Ohio rally today, @realDonaldTrump “we should just cancel the election and just give it to Trump.” Would be funnier if he were joking.
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Some reports on the Mike Pence plane semi-crash landing at La Guardia are that the plane was moving too fast in the rain, and overshot the runway. But hey so, it was only ordinary travelers who were delayed and taxpayer dollars will no doubt pay for the cleanup and investigation. #MakeAmericaGreatforBillionairesagain
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At Rapid City’s airport, a SkyWest Airlnes pilot was arrested for alleged DUI before he was scheduled to fly a plane. Will his defense be that he really aspired to work for Delta?
Donald Trump said today NBC’s releasing the Billy Bush tape “was “certainly illegal, no question about it.,” and indicated he might sue.
But of course all the Wikileaks emails involving Hillary Clinton are pure freedom of speech….
Kansas Rep. Joe Seiwert, commenting about singer Denasia Lawrence kneeling down before a basketball game “I’m so sick of these anti-American blacks, f–k Black Live Matter. Go back to where you claim home”
Thinking a whole lot of Native Americans are thinking, “Back at ya.”
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Sometimes you wonder why any sane person would ever go into politics. Here’s partial Wikileak quote from Huma Abedin on Hillary planning to speak about a Super Pac issue with Jeb Bush. “She’s going to stick to notes a little closer this am, still not perfect in her head”
Okay, I’ve only done a little speaking, but seems reasonable, when you don’t have something down cold, and you don’t want to make mistakes, you use notes. And conservative sites are saying “not perfect in her head” means she has an illness affecting her brain.
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, darwin joke, Janice Hough, pence jokes, pence plane jokes, Supreme Court jokes, Twitter jokes, vine jokes
Comments: Be the first to comment
October 26, 2016
4 hours & 4 minutes for 5-1 Chicago win. Good thing Cubs have plenty of fans because these first two World Series games would not convert many to MLB
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Blowout baseball games are really only fun to watch if you’re a fan of the team doing the blowing-out. Another reason Fox might consider showing more regular season games to create national rather than regional interest….
Just one game and one win, but tonight did Lakers get a taste of what it might have been like to have Kobe Bryant retire sooner?
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Yoenis Cespedes has opted out of his #Mets contract and plans to test free agent market. Because 4 teams in 6 years wasn’t enough?
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Looking at all these bundled-up players in 40 degree temperatures during the World Series makes me nostalgic for Candlestick Park.
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A police report on the crash that took the life of Marlins pitcher Jose Fernandez found “a strong odor of alcohol” and evidence that whoever was driving the boat was speeding and driving with “recklessness” that was “exacerbated by the consumption of alcohol.”
Sad, really sad. But “I am shocked, said nobody.”
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American is going to be the next major U.S. airline to start selling “Basic” economy fares – no changes, standby, seat assignments, etc. So how low can they go – the option to fly as cargo?.
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Newt Gingrich tweeted today “‘For the record Megyn Kelly is wrong, I don’t have anger management issues. I do have media bias issues!” Wonder if he was shouting while he wrote it.
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Story out of Australia is that two beautiful young women who were contestants on the “The Bachelor” did indeed find love. With each other. Hmm, if this becomes a thing might increase U.S. men’s viewership.
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All of this “repeal and replace” about Obamacare that the GOP is spouting. Of course what they don’t spout is that they want to replace it with nothing.
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Trump says he’s going to spend over $100 million on his campaign before election day. Has someone told him he can’t take this loss off his taxes?
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Trump today “I will never, ever take the African-American community for granted — unlike Hillary.”‘
Okay but while the Donald castigates Hillary for what she didn’t do in the Senate, why, with all his decades-old business empire can Trump not name a thing he has done as far as minority hiring and other outreach?
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Donald Trump said last week that “I will reverse Obama’s executive orders & concessions towards Cuba.” Meaning besides travel that Cuban rum & cigars will become illegal again. Forget sexual assault, racism, healthcare etc, this might be the “trump” card for Hillary to woo white men.
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From Alex Kaseberg “A youth football team was kicked out of its league in Rhode Island when they snuck a grown man into their lineup. Man, Johnny Manziel cannot catch a break.”
Folks I suppose became suspicious when the team beat the Browns.
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From Paul Lander. Indeed, the gift that keeps on giving: “Happy 69th Birthday, @HillaryClinton. Don’t forget to send the Republican Party a thank you for the gift of nominating Trump.”
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Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: airline jokes, Bachelor jokes, Candlestick jokes, Cubs jokes, Gringrich jokes, Janice Hough, Lakers jokes, Mets jokes, Trump jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
October 25, 2016
So maybe Golden State Warriors don’t want pressure of an undefeated season? Or maybe Greg Popovich is a very very good coach
And maybe Spurs assistant coach Becky Hammon, who was head coach of the Spurs D-league in 2014 when Jonathan Simmons took MVP honors 2014, is also a pretty good coach.
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Big night in sports. #WorldSeries began for MLB. And the NBA started the 82-game second phase of their preseason.
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World Series started tonight. Maybe if MLB actually showed some regular season games and put the playoffs on network television, millions of Americans might be able to name at least one Cleveland Indian.
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#CarlosSantana starting at DH for @Indians. Casual fans thinking shouldn’t he play anthem instead & isn’t he kind of old. #WorldSeries
So for a while tonight it was looking like it was not just Bruce Bochy who might have pulled a star starter in playoffs too early.
But reliever Andrew Miller, with a 3 run lead, got the tying run to the plate in the 7th and 8th innings… and got out of it both times. What a concept. #SFGiants #Sigh
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The NY Giants have released kicker Josh Brown, saying that “Our beliefs, our judgments and our decisions were misguided.”
Translation, we never believed those documents would be made public.
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In select markets, #Arby’s announced they will begin testing venison sandwiches in select markets. Oh, deer.
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Tuesday was #NationalPassiveAggressive day. Fine, whatever.
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Barack Obama on Jimmy Kimmel last night “What I don’t do is at 3 a.m. I don’t tweet about people who insulted me. I try to sleep so that in the morning I’m actually ready for a crisis.”
Waiting for the Donald tonight at 3 a.m. to insult the President’s stamina.
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Glenn Beck just said he thinks Donald Trump is a sociopath. Well, the pot SHOULD be a kettle expert.
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A new White House executive action will require airlines to refund baggage fees for delayed baggage. Seems reasonable. Wonder how much airlines will raise fees to cover it.
A British Airways flight from San Francisco to London made an emergency landing in Vancouver after the entire crew, including the pilot, became ill. Did they all have the fish? #Ahospitalwhatisit? #surelyyoucantbeserious
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Justin Timberlake posted a selfie of himself doing early voting wth a covered up ballot, urging people to vote. But pictures in polling places are illegal in Tennessee. The horror. Trump claiming election fraud in 3.2.1…..
After Megyn Kelly told Newt Gingrich people have a right to hear reporting on women accusing Trump of being a “sexual predator, ” Gingrich actually shouted “You are fascinated with sex and you don’t care about public policy!”
Well, that should help with the women’s vote.
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Trump told Reuters today as President he would not put any Democrats in his cabinet. Which could be tough. Not sure the Donald could find enough Republicans he hasn’t mortally offended.
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Colin Powell today announced ““I am voting for Hillary Clinton.” Waiting for attack tweets from #DonaldTrump against Powell in 3.2.1….
My boat would have been huge, the best, that shark would have been sushi. Only losers get eaten. #TrumpaHorrorMovie
He had very small hands. I ate them with fava beans & the bestest Chianti. #TrumpAHorrorMovie.
From Mark Ricklis “Have you seen the new Trump website? Grope-on.”
Categories: airline jokes, baseball jokes, GOP jokes, Hillary jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: andrew miller jokes, arby's jokes, indians jokes, Janice Hough, josh brown jokes, Popovich jokes, Spurs jokes, Warriors jokes, World Series joke
Comments: 1 Comment
October 24, 2016
There is a petition being circulated to replace Joe Buck with Bob Uecker for the World Series. They had me at “replace Joe Buck.”
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In the December 2014 Foster Farms Bowl matching Stanford and Maryland at Levi’s Stadium, so few fans were interested that organizers closed off the upper bowl of the stadium and moved everyone down to the lower levels.
So for future home games, how much worse do the 49ers have to get before the team decides to do the same thing?
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#NFL wonders why TV ratings are down & then Seahawks and Cardinals play to a 6-6 tie in overtime on Sunday Night Football.
General Mills said today they will produce limited-edition Girl Scout cookie cereal, in both Thin Mint and Caramel Crunch flavors. Isn’t it easier to just eat cookies for breakfast?
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Saddest thing about this election? Molly Ivins is not still on earth to cover it.
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Monday – October 24- was the last day to register to vote in California. So presume everyone who has not voted has forfeited bitching rights until next election!
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Elizabeth Warren to Trump “nasty women have really had it with guys like you. And on November 8. we nasty women are going to march our nasty feet to cast our nasty votes to get you out of our lives forever.”
Sometimes even the best SNL skit is no match for reality. #YouGoGirl
Despite Donald Trump’s anti-Muslim comments, a recent Zogby poll showed 12% of Arab-American Muslims said they’d vote for him. Guessing 99% of that 12% are men?
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This sort of thing would be funnier if it weren’t true: Trump, denying his latest accuser “And she’s a porn star. You know, this one that came out recently, ‘he grabbed me and he grabbed me on the arm.’ Oh, I’m sure she’s never been grabbed before.”
Can just imagine the Donald’s response on the subject of marital rape…
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Last week President Obama said that while people worry about being “left behind” with globalization “To try to pull-up a drawbridge on trade would only hurt us and hurt our workers.”
To which Chris Christie no doubt responded “Uh, you don’t need a drawbridge.”
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Trump’s daughter-in-law Lara, asked about any “October Surprises” today, responded “There’s still a couple of days left in October. So, we’ll see, we’ve got some stuff up our sleeve.”
Yeah, sounds like she’s become a Trump alright.
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Trump campaign manager KellyAnne Conway claimed that her boss would love more debates “the country benefits from those type of forum and we’d be willing to do another one if somehow they can squeeze it in.”
So is Conway really working for the Donald? Or for Alec Baldwin?
–Donald Trump today, trying to feed the hand he’s been biting “Go out and vote and that includes helping me reelect Republicans all over the place. He then added: “I hope they help me too! It’d be nice if they help us too, right?”
Someone really should tell the Donald that there is this thing called the internet that keeps track of every insult you say.
Marc Ragovin “After watching the Giants/Rams game, I am surprised the Brits haven’t severed relations with the US.”
Categories: debate jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, girl scout cookie jokes, Janice Hough, Joe Buck jokes, NFL jokes, Trump jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
October 24, 2016
After escaping with a 6-6 tie against Arizona, Seattle takes their nonexistent 2016 offense on the road to face the New Orleans defense. Which might prove an answer to the age old question: What happens when a resistible force meets 11 movable objects?
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ESPN reports the Vikings got Sam Bradford from the Eagles for their 2017 1st round draft-pick plus a conditional 4th rounder in 2018. If however, Minnesota, makes the NFC championship game, the 4th round pick becomes a 3rd, BUT Philly would then have to send the Vikings 7th round pick.
This might be more complicated math than most football players ever took in college.
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These London games mean on the West Coast you can wake up and already know your team has lost for the week. “And your point is?” say 49ers fans
#JameisWinston gets a 15 yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty for arguing a spot on 3rd down Overly #crabby? #TBvsSF
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So who was leaving Levi’s Stadium at a faster rate? Injured 49ers players, or disgusted 49ers fans? #TBvsSF
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So can we officially go back to calling them the “Fourth and niners?”
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GOP chair Reince Priebus on Trump “He is not willing to not concede if he loses and there’s no fraud.” Orwell would be proud. #doublespeak
Sheldon Adelson’s Las Vegas Review-Journal has become the first major newspaper to endorse Donald Trump. “He promises to be a source of disruption and discomfort to the privileged, back-scratching political elites for whom the nation’s strength and solvency have become subservient to power’s pursuit and preservation.”
Got to love a man who can rail against the “privileged back scratching elites” after he buys a newspaper.
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While I don’t love trending Twitter hashtags, #TrumpBookReport was too good to pass up:
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Helen of Troy, overrated, wouldn’t have been my first choice. But I hear King Menealus had very small hands. #trumpbookreport
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Six days to create the world? Really? I could have done it in five, and done much better for Adam than Eve. Nasty woman. #trumpbookreport
Overrated nasty woman, if I led France it would have been best victory ever. I don’t like people who get burnt at stake. #TrumpBookReport
Categories: football jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, ESPN jokes, Janice Hough, Levis stadium jokes, Saints jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
October 22, 2016
Since the Indians won in 5 games there’s was no baseball Friday night. Sad premonition of winter.
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Although with a possible Chicago-Cleveland World Series, maybe we will have the first WS game called for snow?
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NY Giants coach Ben McAdoo, on kicker Josh Brown, accused of repeated domestic violence against his ex-wife. “We’re not going to turn our back on Josh.” Hmm, based on the allegations seems like it’s women who should be careful not to turn their backs on him.
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Notre Dame AD Jack Swarbrick says despite the Fighting Irish’s disappointing start, Brian Kelly “will lead this team out of the tunnel opening day next year.”
Of course, Swarbrick didn’t say if it would be as coach or highly-paid waterboy.
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AT&T is apparently going to buy Time-Warner. Yeah, that breakup of the phone company in 1982 because they were too big and dominant has worked well.
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Twitter, Amazon, Spotify and other sites were down today at times due to a major cyber attack. The horror. Millions of Americans in their offices were actually forced to work.
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At first, the Trump and his campaign were a joke. But then when it looked like he had a real chance, many thought he would get serious. Then when he won the nomination, many thought he would get disciplined. Then when he began losing to Hillary Clinton, many thought he would get focused. And some STILL think that actually winning the Presidency would turn him into a statesman….
#Heiswhowethoughthewas
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So was that #DDoS attack that took down #Twitter from Russia? As in maybe even #Putin thinking “STFU Donald, you’re kllling our chances?
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For all those who are debate junkies (or just gluttons for punishment), and are worried about going through withdrawal – David Duke has just qualified in Louisiana to share the stage in the final Senate candidate debate.
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The trial in the Trump University lawsuit begins Nov. 29. And Donald Trump’s lawyers want what he has said during the campaign to be excluded, saying the admission of such evidence would risk “irremediable prejudice” and a “waste of time.”
Just wondering, where do they think they will find an unbiased jury pool?
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So now that we’ve run out of other important stuff to argue about in this election, we have Eric Trump, who apparently got a free water glass at In-and-Out Burger, and used it to steal lemonade. His father must be so proud of those baby steps.
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Richard Branson said Donald Trump told him years ago that five people had not helped out with a bankruptcy and he was “going to spend the rest of his life destroying these five people.” Hmm, so is Donald really running for President or “Count of Monte Cristo?”
That moment when you realize that no joke you could possibly write will probably trump reality – as you hear that the Donald will be giving a major policy speech Saturday at Gettysburg.
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From Marc Ragovin “Curt Schilling said that Indians pitcher Trevor Bauer cost his team by “dicking around with a drone.” In response, Schiilling’s former ESPN Baseball Tonight partner Dan Schulman said, “Oh yeah, well I spent two years droning around with a dick”
(joke, not a real quote :))
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: david duke jokes, gettysburg jokes, hacking jokes, indians jokes, Janice Hough, World Series jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
October 21, 2016
SF Giants bullpen has to be watching last two #NLCS #Dodgers #Cubs games & smiling “Not so easy, is it?”
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Good thing for #Dodgers fans that #PedroBaez works so slowly most of them left to beat traffic and didn’t see top of 8th. #NLCS
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#NLCSGame5, at #DodgerStadium in the 5th inning…there are several empty seats behind home plate? #WTF?
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So by Trump logic, since the Chicago Cubs are media darlings, maybe the SF Giants should not accept their close NLDS games 1 and 4 losses, and show up at the World Series anyway?
Adrian Gonzalez before game 5 was still upset about that “out” call at the plate last night in the #NLCS. Tweeting today it was “Us against the world.” And yeah, it was a huge difference maker. Had the call be overturned the Dodgers would only have lost 10-3.
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Although, as Bill Littlejohn says, “Many shots of the NLCS show Larry King sitting in the background—as if the Cubs needed something else to remind them how long it’s been.”
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NY Giants placekicker Josh Brown got only a one-game suspension, despite increasing evidence, including a journal given to police, that he abused his now ex-wife. Well, it’s not like he did anything really awful, like missing a game-winning kick.
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The NCAA charged coach Rick Pitino has been charged with “failure to monitor” over the escort scandal at Louisville, but the university itself was not charged with any violations. Why? Presumably because, “well, it’$ Loui$ille ba$ketball.”
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Apparently the new policy allowing Cuban cigars and rum to be brought back to the U.S. legally includes cigars and rum purchased on other Caribbean islands. Wonder if the rule grandfathers in such items already in the U.S. #askingforafriend.
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Antonio Cromartie’s wife says that the Colts released her husband because he took a knee during the national anthem. Got news for her, if Cromartie was playing like Josh Norman and Richard Sherman, he could go down on both knees before every game.
Trump’s national political director, Jim Murphy, said today “I have not resigned but for personal reasons have had to take a step back from the campaign.”
Translation, Trump threatened to sue me if I actually quit?
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In Kansas, GOP House Speaker Pro Tem Peggy Mast was bashing Planned Parenthood, and posted a video on FB today with the comment “Great quote from Hitler in the video. Please listen to it closely. His words are profound! Let’s start using discernment.” #Wearegoingtoneedabiggerbasket
Shocking. Donald Trump’s best punchline of the night at Al Smith dinner still comes at woman’s expense, in this case his wife: “The media is very biased.
Michelle Obama made a speech and everyone loves it, it’s fantastic.
My wife, Melania, gives the exact same speech. And people get on her case. And I don’t get it. I don’t know why. And it wasn’t her fault.’
#andhewonderswhytheresagendergap
Categories: Uncategorized
Comments: 1 Comment
October 19, 2016
So a close call at the plate in the Dodgers Cubs game got millions of Americans outraged before debatenight even gets started.
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Meanwhile the debate ended up being about as close as the NLCS Game 4 final score.
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The @Indians might just be the best baseball team America has never heard of. @ALCS
All these people claiming Trump is acting like a child clearly didn’t discipline their children enough.
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Admittedly Hillary Clinton had a huge advantage tonight. As a woman she’s had years of experience keeping a straight face listening to men say crazy shit.
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A major U.S. Presidential candidate just said that he “will look at it at the time” regarding accepting the result of election. It’s about time to set up wind turbines atop the graves of our Founding Fathers.
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Okay, so who’s going to be the first to make & sell #nastywoman t-shirts?
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“Why should you vote for me for President?” Because I will accept election results & am not bat-shit crazy. Hillary Clinton .
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Does Trump realize that with all the Senators he has offended they might not want to confirm his Supreme Court nominees either?
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Trump as sure that Hillary got women to step forward to accuse him as he is sure Russia has had nothing to do with hacking.
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All across America millions of people sitting back, pouring large drinks & saying “Did he REALLY say that about election?”
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Somewhere @AlecBaldwin is getting carpal tunnel syndrome as he frantically tries to keep up taking notes for this week’s #SNL #debatenight
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Wouldn’t we all pay big $$$ to see #Wikileaks leak what #Trump‘s staff says about him behind HIS back?
“Donald thinks that belittling women makes him bigger.” Line of the night #YouGoGirl #YouGoMadamePresident
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So can we call #DonaldTrump the first true Creamsicle Presidential Candidate? Orange on the outside, really white on the inside.
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Ohio Gov. John Kasich today: “To say that elections are rigged and all these votes are stolen, that’s like saying we never landed on the moon. That’s how silly it is.” Wait for Trump tomorrow to tweet that the moon landing was a hoax.
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Condi Rice was asked in an email by CNN’s KFILE if she has a response to Donald Trump in a 2006 speech when he said “Condoleezza Rice, she’s a lovely woman, but I think she’s a bitch”
Her response: “Exactly. Can’t wait until November 9!”
Not often I say this about Rice, but #YouGoGirl.
In a recent poll, 60 percent of Americans supported the legalization of pot. And 20 percent more probably responded “Dude, what was that question again?”
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Kenyan-born #MalikObama got a front-row seat to debate. So @realDonaldTrump just using another immigrant to take something from Americans.
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NFL ratings are down over 11% this year. Owners are scrambling to explain it with things like the Presidential election being a distraction. And it’s possible the concussion issue is turning people off. Or maybe America has figured out there are just a lot of lousy teams.
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Dez Bryant says he cut two fingers on his hand slicing carrots for soup. Amazing. Who knew Dez Bryant cooked?
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, GOP jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Clinton jokes, Condoleezza Rice jokes, debate jokes, debate night jokes, nasty woman jokes, Trump jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
October 18, 2016
Cubs looking tonight like this may not be their century either.
At Dodger Stadium tonight Cubs fans were chanting “We don’t quit.” I think they meant to replace the “Qu” with an “H.”
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#Cubs hitters looked so lost wonder if to get in sync they’ll offer to pay #SFGiants bullpen to fly in & pitch batting practice?
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Way to grow the Major League Baseball. The ALCS with Cleveland vs. Toronto is on during the day when many are at work. And the NLCS with the Cubs vs LA is on FS1, a channel many people, and most hotels, don’t get.
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Saddest thing about #NLDS is that 1 inning from #SF bullpen might have kept us from a great #Dodgers #Giants series for pennant. @MLB
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About time to put pictures of the #Cubs‘ bats on milk cartons. #NLCS
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If Donald Trump was a baseball coach he’d have been thrown out of the game by now.
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How statesmanlike of him: John McCain “”I promise you that we will be united against any Supreme Court nominee that Hillary Clinton, if she were president, would put up.”
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Scary Trump tweet of the morning. “41% of American voters believe the election could be “stolen” from DonaldTrump due to widespread voter fraud. – Politico”
What’s scariest is that Trump’s antics have convinced enough people that the tweet is accurate.
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So Donald Trump is bringing President Obama’s half-brother Malik to tomorrow’s debate. Malik, 58, while still a U.S.citizen, is a Muslim who lives mostly in Kenya, has been accused of domestic violence, and has at least 3 current wives, the last who he married in 2011 when she was a teenager. Just the kind of man the Donald thinks we need more of in this country….
Bill Clinton’s accusers, Barack Obama’s half-brother…. who’s next for @realDonaldTrump to bring to debates. Anyone seen Tipper Gore lately?
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Curt Schilling, upset at comparisons to his bloody sock game “Please don’t tweet at me about Bauer.He cost himself a start, likely more, AND his teammates, and fans, dicking around with a drone. #stupid”
Of course there’s no comparison. Nor is there any comparison to costing the state of Rhode Island $50 million by “dicking around” with a video game company. #38Studios #stupid
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For all those comedy writers worried about going through withdrawal for material after November 8; Curt Schilling announced today on Twitter he is going to run for the Senate in 2018 against Elizabeth Warren. #passthepopcorn
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If #CurtSchilling runs for Senate in Massachusetts, how long until #ElizabethWarren tells him to put a bloody sock in it?
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Now Wikileaks’ Julian Assange is claiming that John Kerry cut off his internet at the Ecuadorian Embassy in London. And Kerry is thinking, if we had that power don’t you think we would have done it a long time ago?
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Actually it turns out Ecuador temporarily restricted Julian Assange’s internet access at their embassy. Might have been easier just to switch him to Windows 2000
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So tired of “urgent” fundraising emails ” Like this one “don’t abandon Hillary, please when she needs us most” (before the last debate.)
Right about now what Hillary really needs is for Donald just to keep talking.
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Marc Ragovin “Melania says Donald should be excused for his crass remarks about women because he was egged on by Billy Bush. Hey, if you can get outwitted by Billy Bush, you iz too dumb to be president.”
Categories: baseball jokes, GOP jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: ALCS jokes, Cubs jokes, Dodgers jokes, FS1 jokes, Janice Hough, malik obama jokes, NLCS jokes, schilling jokes, trump joke
Comments: 9 Comments
October 17, 2016
The Nobel Prize committee says that five days after they awarded the Prize for literature to Bob Dylan, they have not yet heard from their newest laureate. Or maybe Dylan has responded and they had no idea what who he was or what he was saying?
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The #Big12 today decided not to expand & will stay at 10 members. Why should conference confuse players with a tough concept like math?
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Some references today to #ColinKaepernick being a “distraction” for @49ers. Because without him they would only have lost by 20 points?
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Trevor Bauer, who cut himself repairing one of his drones, was not allowed to wear even as much as a Band-Aid on his finger tonight while pitching. The stitches broke, resulting in Bauer having to leave, dripping blood, in the first inning. Cleveland used a total of 7 pitchers, and kept the Blue Jays to 2 runs.
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And that, #SFGiants fans, ladies and gentlemen, is a bullpen. #Indians #ALCS
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Wonder many MLB teams are rushing to add “no drones during the season” into their contract language..
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The Los Angeles Dodgers apparently stayed at the Trump hotel in Chicago for their regular season series against the Cubs in May. But Adrian Gonalez, who is of Mexican descent, refused, saying “I had my reasons.”
Darn, another Dodger I can’t root against.
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Anyone but me really tired of pumpkin flavored everything?
Fox News’ Shep Smith has come out as gay. Shocking millions of Americans who thought he was already out.
At a Donald Trump rally in Wisconsin tonight the crowd started chanting “Paul Ryan sucks!” So is this how the Donald would propose to start his State of the Union speech?
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Melania Trump said that Donald really didn’t mean the things he said to Billy Bush, but that Bush had “egged him on.” Well it’s a good thing that Putin, or Congress, would never egg Trump on while in office.
As an anonymous friend said ““My husband can’t throw footballs and grab pussies at the same time!”
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Donald Trump said #SNL should be cancelled & was “unfunny.” Uh, if unfunny on occasion was reason enough, SNL would have been cancelled years ago.
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Women who have come forward about #Trump‘s groping them can take comfort, he didn’t mean it, he was just trying to impress #BillyBush.
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, sports jokes, texas jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: ALCS jokes, bauer jokes, blue jays jokes, Dodgers jokes, dylan jokes, indians jokes, Janice Hough, Trump jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
October 16, 2016
Today Drew Brees threw for 465 YDS & 4 TD, and the @Saints barely won. Rumor has it there is part of an NFL game you can play called “defense.”
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Latest college football rankings, #Pac12 has exactly 2 teams in the top 25. Traditional powers Washington and.. Utah?
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#LARams have got to be lying awake at night wondering how they ever lost to this #49ers team. #SFvsBUF
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#RudyGuiliani today said he “would have to be a moron to say” that the election “is going to be fair.” And his point is?
Lots of verbal attacks on #ColinKaerpernick in Buffalo today. Silly Bills fans. Did they realize that Kap & the 49ers might have provided the best home game entertainment they’ll see all year?. Next visitors – the Patriots.
Hard to be an #SFGiants fan watching Puig against Chapman. No way to root for them both to fail.
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Altamonte Springs, my high-school home town: A woman was arrested this week after posting video online of her son driving her car – the boy is 7 years old. Back on your game, Florida.
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Never thought I’d say anything positive about Sarah Palin. But at least she had a sense of humor. Trump tweet of the day “Watched Saturday Night Live hit job on me.Time to retire the boring and unfunny show. Alec Baldwin portrayal stinks. Media rigging election!”
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Whatever happens in election suppose both @HillaryClinton & @realDonaldTrump can both take credit for helping to resurrect #SNL
Trump is insisting that he has lost “large numbers of women voters based on made up events THAT NEVER HAPPENED.” But those “wonderful” and “courageous” women speaking out about Bill Clinton – their stories are 100% true….
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Apparently someone threw a bottle of flammable liquid through the window of a GOP office in North Carolina. And Trump tweeted “Animals representing Hillary Clinton and Dems in North Carolina just firebombed our office in Orange County because we are winning.”
Now, Hillary decried the act, but I guess I’m missing something – if Trump’s followers are violent it’s a righteous rage, but if it’s his opponents they are animals?
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This is actually really scary, according to a poll from the Associated Press-NORC Center for Public Affairs Research. “Only about one-third of Republicans said they have a great deal or quite a bit of confidence that votes on Election Day will be counted fairly.”
But has it occurred to Trump that if Hillary really could rig an election, she’d have done it starting with the 2008 Democratic primaries?
As Trump talks about the election ” absolutely being rigged,” including at many polling placs, have to ask…. has the Donald actually BEEN to a polling place? Last time before I gave up and decided to vote by mail, the average poll workers were “mature” to say the least, and having a hard time just matching voters to their lists. Not exactly the folks you’d enlist in a complicated conspiracy.
This morning on “Meet the Press” Mike Pence ” We will absolutely accept the result of the election.” So with all the people Trump has attacked on Twitter, how long until he adds his running mate to the list?
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From my friend TC, sent to him by Berney: 
Categories: football jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, Florida jokes, Janice Hough, Kaepernick jokes, NFL jokes, SNL jokes, Trump jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
October 15, 2016
If Stanford could have just kept their defense on the field the whole time they might have beaten Notre Dame more decisively.
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Admittedly I’m an #NL fan, but #AL fans claim they love the DH because it results in so much more offense. Uh, #ALCS, #Notexactly
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Watching the Dodgers and Cubs in NLCS. Nice I suppose to see that the SF Giants don’t have a monopoly on bullpen meltdowns.
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Kylie Jenner to Complex.com, “I’ve been famous for what feels like my whole life. I just want to know what it feels like not to be.”
Uh, for starters #deleteyouraccount?
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Samsung Galaxy Note 7 phones, recalled over a month ago, have now basically been banned from all aircraft. But okay, if you’re smart enough to handle a smartphone how are you stupid enough still to have a Galaxy Note 7?
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Donald Trump has called for drug tests before the next debate, saying that he believes Hillary must be on PEDs to get her “pumped up.” Well, actually, most Americans would love to know what the Donald might be on.
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All Trump casinos are now closed. Which means you can’t even go to one to place a bet on the final number of women who will come forward to accuse the Donald of sexual assault.
#BillyBush is donating $10 million NBC severance package to women’s charities. Good to know SOMEONE has evolved since that #Trump interview.
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If elections and media were really as rigged as @realDonaldTrump says, does he think he’d have gotten anywhere near nomination?
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Trump’s tweet “Nothing ever happened with any of these women. Totally made up nonsense to steal the election. Nobody has more respect for women than me!”
And then will the Donald invite Bill Clinton’s accusers back to the next debate
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Wow. Wikikeaks transcripts from Hillary Clintons’s speeches to Goldman Sachs indicate she didn’t directly blame Wall Street for the 2008 financial meltdown. In related news did the leaks also say water is wet?
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Okay, this just released leaked Goldman Sachs from Hillary Clinton should get 100% bipartisan applause: “Look, I am of the mind that we cannot have endless campaigns “It is bad for the candidates. It’s bad for the country. I mean, part of the reason why it’s difficult to govern is because an election ends and then the next day people start jockeying.
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Even if ALL Bill Clinton’s accusers were telling the truth and all Trump’s accusers were lying, which I don’t believe, Donald Trump has said and done enough to show he should never be allowed closer to the White House than his new D.C. hotel. Period.
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Categories: Uncategorized
Comments: 1 Comment
October 14, 2016
Still beating, in Cleveland?
Cleveland Cavaliers are champions.. Indians looking good. But God telling Browns fans – “Sorry, above my pay grade.”
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For SF Giants fans going through withdrawal, Blue Jays had a RISP in each of 1st 4 innings, without scoring. #seenthisscriptbefore
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Cleveland pitcher Trevor Bauer had his Game 2 ALCS start pushed back to Game 3 because he cut his pinkie finger repairing a propeller on one of his drones.
SF Giants fans are thinking “Has he been hanging out with Jeremy Affeldt?”
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New potential slogan for #Blackberry: Our phones may be outdated but at least they don’t blow up?
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Curt Schilling, defending Donald Trump’s comment about the 10-year-old girl – “If intimating a young lady will grow up to be stunningly beautiful = child molestation you’re liberal and voting for a scumbag.”
Uh, Curt, that’s not what Trump said. He said “Can you believe I’m going to be dating her in 10 years.” Put a bloody sock in it.
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United Airlines computer glitches last night cancelled some flights and delayed others for hours. Who needs hackers when you have aging technology and incompetence?
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Go figure: A roundtrip ticket San Francisco to Denver on United is 219.20. Extra legroom seats add $159.00. How long until people start just booking a second seat?
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#Obama has lifted restrictions on bringing #Cuban cigars & rum back into US. Who says there’s no bipartisan agreement anymore?
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Fox’s Lou Dobbs has apologized after claiming Jessica Leeds, one of the women accusing Trump of groping her, had the same phone number as the Clinton Foundation, and then tweeting her phone number and address to his almost 800,00 followers.
If MSNBC had tweeted the address and phone number of a Trump supporter, the GOP would be calling for a Congressional investigation.
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Now Donald Trump has insulted a Kardashian, Khloe, calling her a “fat piglet.” Pass the popcorn & make it a large.
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Ben Carson, still defending Trump, said today on Morning Joke, that before nations topple, they “take their eye off the ball, start engaging in things that really don’t matter that much — not that sexual language and abuse is not important, but when you’re talking about the train going off the cliff you really need to deal with that first.”
Well, unless of course you’re talking about the husband of the Democrat nominee, then those things are critical.
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Got it, so all Trump’s accusers are liars, all Bill Clinton’s accusers are saints. Especially as Bill was caught bragging on tape… Wait. never mind
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Trump today on Hillary Clinton “The other day I’m standing at my podium and she walks in front of me, right? She walks in front of me and when she walked in front of me. Believe me, I wasn’t impressed.”
So let’s see, Hillary is qualified to be leader of the free world, but not attractive enough for him to hit on?
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With the tone of this election President Obama @POTUS is likely to be the most popular President EVER on day before January’s inaugural.
Who knew that @realDonaldTrump was probably looking at #BillCosby and thinking “amateur.”
Categories: Uncategorized
Comments: 3 Comments
Left Coast Sports Babe 