Archive for October 2015

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California dreaming.

October 30, 2015

So now the GOP says they won’t have any more debates on NBC. Does this mean Trump might even be sending Megyn Kelly flowers?

California Governor Jerry Brown says that Ted Cruz is “absolutely unfit” to run for the presidency due to his position on climate change. Wow. How did Jerry single out one reason.

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Charles Barkley has “guaranteed” that the Knicks make the playoffs this year. Really?! Is he talking about the NBA playoffs or the NCAA men’s tournament.?

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Jeb Bush says his campaign is “not on life support.” True dat. Life support requires a pulse.

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The University of Louisville apologized yesterday after a picture was released of university president James Ramsey and others dressed up in Mexican ponchos and sombreros at a Halloween party. Well, at least they didn’t dress up as basketball players and prostitutes.

An email released today showed that Hillary Clinton, 68, had to ask for help to type an emoticon on her Blackberry. Said most 60 somethings “What’s an emoticon?” Said most people under 30, “What’s a Blackberry??

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So now the GOP says they won’t have any more debates on NBC. Does this mean Trump might even be sending Megyn Kelly flowers?

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Still controversy over whether NBC should have invited Donald Trump to host SNL this weekend. Thinking at this point what those protests are most doing is getting people to wonder what the fuss is about and thinking about tuning into SNL.

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All of these GOP candidates want Americans to believe they can stand up to our enemies like Al Qaeda and ISIS. When they can’t even stand up to CNBC?

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Chevron cutting up to 7,000 jobs, because their profits have fallen to only $2 billion. Some statements would be funnier if they didn’t need a punchline.

So should the real headline tonight be ‪#‎NYMets‬ again postpone NY sports fans having to come to terms with the ‪#‎Knicks‬?

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Actually the after triple overtime for Oregon-ASU in a game that started at 1030pm Thursday Eastern time, following the 14 inning World Series game 1 Tuesday. Thinking a lot of East Coast sports fans are really thanks to the Mets for making Friday’s game a bit of a late blow out. And for that extra hour of sleep this weekend.
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From Bill Littlejohn : ” Charles Haley has been brought in to talk to Greg Hardy.Isn’t that like bringing in Freddy Kruger to talk some sense into Jason?”

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Big cats.

October 29, 2015

Thursday was National Cat Day. And cats are thinking, uh, EVERY day is National Cat D

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In South Africa this week, a lion attacked a party of five men hunting illegally, killing one man and two dogs. Apparently mean bitch Karma also wanted to celebrate National Cat Day.

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Ironic that on ‪#‎NationalCatDay‬ the GOP has elected a new Cat Herder ‪#‎PaulRyan‬

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There are arguments over who won yesterday’s GOP debate. But it seems to me the real winners are obvious- anyone who chose to watch the World Series instead.

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Really? There are are headlines about Farrah Abraham, who apparently has a sex tape and was on “Teen Mom,” now sharing her third boob job on the internet. It’s enough to make you long for the intellectualism of the Kardashians..

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Kareem Abdul-Jabbar on the 2015-16 Lakers: “I think they’ll surprise people and I’ll expect them to make the playoffs at least.” Quick, can someone check Kareem for concussions?

In New York City, a new law says people applying for jobs will no longer be required to disclose a criminal history, What, were they having problems finding enough applicants to staff Wall Street?

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Walmart is rolling out their first big holiday sale this weekend. So what’s next, Black Halloween?

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Don Mattingly is new ‪#‎Marlins‬ manager . But really, shouldn’t job title be “Interim manager?” With Marlins they’rel ALL interim managers.

The NFL had a town meeting Thursday on potentially moving the Raiders to Los Angeles. Right about now SF Bay Area fans are thinking – could you take the 49ers instead?

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The NBA is partnering with Kia to put a Kia Motors Crop. logo on player jerseys for the next two All-Star games. Right, because when you think of a car that would be driven by very wealthy very tall men you think of Kia.

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Not a fan of the new Speaker of the House and fully expect he will make me angry in short order. But on the other hand, all these fundraising emails with the headline “Stop Paul Ryan”, can we at least wait until he tries to do something before we “stop” him? ‪#‎bipartisandreaming‬

Not that the  ‪#‎Bush‬ brothers don’t love each other. But isn’t there a chance that somewhere W. is sitting back smirking “Now who’s the dumb one?

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Chef Anthony Bourdain said today, that “every restaurant in America would shut down” if Donald Trump won the Presidency,” because restaurants rely so much on immigrant labor. Yet another fool who thinks that if Trump somehow won he would actually honor his campaign rhetoric. ‪#‎Trumphotelsandconstructionprojectsneedimmigrantlabortoo‬

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An Uber driver in St. Petersburg, FL, was arrested after he apparently traded a prostitute a ride for oral sex. Talk about surge pricing.

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CNBC had a bad night with the GOP debate, no question. But with all these GOP candidates calling for substantive questions and dealing with major serious issues, which of them wants to be the first to say “Enough on Benghazi and arguing over what Planned Parenthood did with fetal tissue”?

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Good news, bad news.

October 29, 2015

The good news, Fox didn’t lose power for game 2 of the World Series. Bad news, baseball fans had to listen to Joe Buck for the whole game.

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Tough question Wednesday night for many Americans – what was more likely to drive them to drink  – listening to the GOP debate, or Joe Buck and company in the Fox World Series booth?

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So A-Rod was in the Fox broadcast booth. Is Fox trying anything that will make Joe Buck sound good by comparison? ‪#‎WorldSeries‬

(my friend Renee says “A-Rod has a voice for newsprint.”)

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The NFL has fined Steelers’ C William Gay $5,787 for wearing purple cleats in honor of his mother and other victims of domestic violence. Even though the league has had the pink theme for breast cancer all October.
So this is because the NFL really has nothing to do with domestic violence?
‪#‎sarcasm‬ ‪#‎heavysarcasm‬

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Donald Trump said in a Sioux City speech “If I lose Iowa, I will never speak to you people again” ‪#‎promise‬?

Yesterday Kylie Jenner was voted one of Time Magazine’s 30 “Most Influential Teens.” ‪#‎beammeupScottytheresnointelligentlifeonthisplanet‬

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The NY Jets signed punter Steve Weatherford last week when their regular punterr, Ryan Quigley, was sidelined due to an infection. Now that Quigley is better the Jets cut Weatherford after 4 days. Four days. That’s not a football contract it’s a Hollywood marriage.

A NORAD blump that surveys the East Coast got loose in Maryland was flying free over Pennsylvania. It has now been secured. Wonder which major airline will now institute a “blimp avoidance” fee?

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Bills WR Sammy Watkins, angry with fans complaining about him being injured, took to Instagram to call them “losers,” and add “so continue working y’all little jobs for the rest of your lives….. go have a blessed day.”
Of course, “losers” with “little jobs” in Buffalo could save a lot of money staying home from Bills games.
‪#‎Cantfixstupid‬

If you are reading this and didn’t know Wednesday was National Chocolate Day, you’ve just missed it. So double or nothing?

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Chris Christie, saying he’s the best choice against Hillary Clinton: “You put me on the stage with her next September and she won’t get within 10 miles of the White House.” So does Christie have a friend with control of D.C. area bridges?

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The four lowest-polling GOP Presidential candidates were on earlier  Wednesday in the pre-debate “happy hour” debate. So called because you need to be getting drunk to watch it?

Bobby Jindal tonight at the kid’s table debate said that the U.S. is “going the way of Europe.” Thinking after 6 years of Jindal a lot of folks in Louisiana think Europe sounds pretty good.

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This could go on all day and night….

October 27, 2015

Thanks to ESPN’s insisting that the MLB season start on a Sunday night, and in 2015, April 5, the World Series just got started tonight. Finally.  Millions of Americans have been eagerly awaiting the November Classic.

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The World Series was actually delayed tonight over Fox’s unexplained technical difficulties. Maybe even God has had enough of Joe Buck.

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But really, Fox having broadcast outage at ‪the #‎WorldSeries‬?   Well, maybe if the network had actually practiced by regularly showing baseball this season?

During the postgame show Joe Buck talked about  ‪#‎WorldSeries‬ game 2 “tomorrow in Kansas City.”  Uh, Joe, after 14 innings, more like tonight.

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First time I’ve seen even a little bat flip on a sacrifice fly. ‪#‎Hosmer‬ ‪#‎WorldSeries‬ ‪#‎Royals‬

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But give Hosmer credit, that sacrifice fly must have felt really good after he picked a really bad time to channel Bill Buckner.

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So do the ‪#‎Mets‬ have a special voodoo doll they bury near first base during the ‪#‎WorldSeries‬?

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Harold Reynolds, doing his best to match Joe Buck on the stupid scale. “this is about as evenly matched a World Series as I’ve heard people talk about in years.” Uh, except for last year that came down to one-run in game 7?

The NY Daily News reported Tuesday night that Derek Jeter is engaged. Apparently the Yankees really really don’t like being out of the October spotlight.

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When  ‪#‎WorldSeries‬ game one started Bartolo Colon had barely started shaving.

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An injured deer walked into a Rochester, NY, emergency room. Assume the staff fawned over him.

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REI says it will close all stores on Black Friday and pay their employees to be outside that day. Hope not too many of those employees decide “outside’ means waiting outside other stores

Taco Bell has introduced new croissant breakfast tacos. Yet another consequence of states legalizing marijuana?

-The Texans have released QB Ryan Mallett after he was late for meetings Saturday and missed the team’s charter flight to Miami. I can hear the cries from Houston now “Tebow, Tebow, Tebow.!!!”

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Oracle announced they will build a public charter “Design Tech” high school on its Redwood City, California campus. The idea presumably being to hire some of these kids before they do something silly like go to college.

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Walgreen’s is acquiring Rite Aid. Another step on the path to one national drug store change and one airline.

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Charles Koch is bemoaning a lack of substance and civility in the 2016 Presidential race “It’s mainly about personalities, and ‘your mother sucked rotten eggs.” Yeah, well, Dr. Frankenstein also ended up not being thrilled with his monster.

Donald Trump’s response to his drop in the polls. “I don’t get it.”   Hey, when he’s right, he’s right.

John Kasich talking about his GOP competition on the eve of the next debate. “I’ve about had it with these people. I want you to know I’m fed up. I’m sick and tired of listening to this nonsense and I’m going to have to call it like it is in this race.”
With all due respect, so until now he’s not been “calling it like it is” why?

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Is it too soon to start a pool on the next arrest date for Greg Hardy? ‪#‎Cowboys‬ ‪#‎NFL‬

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Alex Kaseberg, co-piloting me on the bus-to-hell tonight.  “After sustaining a serious 4th-of-July fireworks hand injury, Jason Pierre-Paul agreed to terms with New York Giants. Jason was so happy, he gave the Giants a high-three.”

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In the lurch

October 26, 2015

Dirk Nowitzki went as Lurch for a Halloween Party last weekend. Not to be outdone, now Lurch is planning to go as Dirk Nowitzki.

lurch

The NFL today officially filed their appeal of Tom Brady’s successful appeal of his Deflategate suspension. If this keeps up the case should finally be adjudicated just in time for Brady’s first Old Timers’ game.

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Forget the ‪SuperBowl‬. How much worse does it get for Ravens‬ before John ‪Harbaugh‬ starts looking to try to compete with brother Jim in college bowls?

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Dallas coach Jason Garrett said today that Greg Hardy needs to do better at “channeling” his emotions, but the the DE won’t be disciplined after his altercations with an assistant coach and teammates.
It’s all part of the Cowboys’ strict “12 strikes and you’re out” policy

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An Indiana woman is recovering from being shot in the foot after she put her shotgun on the ground without the safety catch while hunting. Her dog stepped on the gun and it went off. The dog’s name is Trigger. Your move, Florida.

(so have to wonder, is Trigger’s middle name “happy?”)

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Whole Foods has recalled chicken and pasta salad over possible listeria. Well, 99% of Americans are safe – they can’t afford to shop at Whole Foods.

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New Jersey drivers apparently pay the highest tolls in the U.S., 20 cents out of every dollar collected. Mostly presumably to get out of New Jersey.

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The WHO has said processed meats like bacon and sausages are grade 1 carcinogens, the same category as asbestos, alcohol, arsenic and tobacco.

Hmm, I see a new GOP way to fix social security’s money woes – have all Americans eat more hot dogs.

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So much for all those who think Donald Trump has never faced real adversity – “It’s not been easy for me. I started off in Brooklyn, my father gave me a small loan of $1 million. ”

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Mike Tyson is now saying that Trump “should be president of the United States.” Makes sense, the Donald can be the official candidate of those who’ve been hit on the head too many times.

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Fox News’ Jeanine Pirro, slamming Hillary Clinton, “I watched as the hearing devolved from a search for the truth to theater, political theater.” Uh, doesn’t political theater describe the whole GOP Benghazi witch hunt in the first place?

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Governor Greg Abbott wants to make “sanctuary cities” illegal in Texas. Can someone really make Abbott’s head explode and propose a Texas law that would require checking someone’s immigration status when they try to buy a gun?

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T.C. on national tv switching away from the Saints game Sunday.  “Houston fans switched to another game too – golf”

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from Marc Ragovin  “Too bad its not a Mets/Blue Jays World Series. I was really looking forward to Cespedes and Batista meeting at mid-field for the ceremonial bat flip.”

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Be afraid, be very afraid.

October 25, 2015

A Clear Food report found that 10% of vegetarian hot dogs contained meat. Hmm, that might be a higher percentage than regular hot dogs.

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As we move into Halloween week give NBC the early lead for the scariest statement of the week. During a Sunday Night Football commercial they just referred to “Republican front runner Donald Trump.”

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A new AP poll says that Republican voters view Donald Trump as their most electable candidate in 2016. ‪#‎beammeupScottietheresnointelligentlifeonthisplanet‬

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The new president of Guatemala is former TV comedian Jimmy Morales, who has no experience in government, but won tonight in a landslide. ‪#‎PagingJonStewart‬

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The LA Times reports that a survey found 39% of L.A. millennials ‘chronically stressed’ about money. Presumably the other 61% are living with their parents.

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Jimmy Fallon, who badly injured his left hand in a fall at home earlier this year, apparently fell at a Harvard award event yesterday and injured his OTHER hand. Was he chewing gum at the time?

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UCF football coach George O’Leary, whose Golden Knights are 0-8, is retiring effective immediately. Making him luckier than UCF season ticket holders.

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As if I didn’t have enough reasons to hate FOX – First time in California we had the Saints on TV for a Sunday day game in the SF Bay Area, they have a 27-0 lead, and they just came on and said “unless you’re a fantasy owner or a Saints fan that doesn’t live in New Orleans you’re not interested in this game anymore so we are switching to another game”-  Humbug.

(and the Saints almost blew the game. Paging Heidi.)

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Chris Christie was kicked out of an Amtrak “quiet car” this morning. I am sure that has nothing to with what will be a number of unexpected New Jersey rail bridge closures tomorrow.

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Houston Texans QB Ryan Mallett, who said he bought an alarm clock after he said he overslept a training camp practice, missed the team plane to Miami and had to fly commercial for today’s game against the Dolphins. Apparently there is a difference between buying a clock and using a clock.

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The Dallas Cowboys have lost four in a row. No punchline, I just liked writing that.

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Greg Hardy, convicted of domestic violence before his ex-girlfriend didn’t show up for the appeal, apparently he shoved and yelled at teammates on the field in today’s Dallas loss.
Owner Jerry Jones’s response: “He’s, of course, one of the real leaders on this team and he earns it and he earns it with respect from all of his teammates and that’s the kind of thing that inspires a football team.”
Yeah, that’s the kind of attitude that has the Cowboys so beloved outside Texas.

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Former Majority Leader Tom DeLay said that if President Barack Obama issues an executive order to require background checks on some gun sales , the House should consider impeachment proceedings.
Is Delay nuts? Of course the House should not impeach Obama over such an action – now, another Congressional committee to investigate Hillary over her potential involvement, sure, why not?

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Joe Biden said tonight he didn’t run for President simply because at this point he “couldn’t win.” Uh, that hasn’t stopped most of the GOP field.

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Ben Carson said today he is against abortion in all cases, and cited “the many stories of people who have led very useful lives who were the result of rape or incest.” Of course, this is the same Dr. Carson who is against welfare because he thinks it says ‘You can’t take care of yourself and I’m going to give you food stamps, a housing subsidy and free health care….”
So, basically Carson is telling poor girls and women who are victims of rape and incest that they are f*cked twice over.

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Storm watch

October 24, 2015

So despite all the predictions of its strength, Hurricane Patricia basically proved to be over-hyped and comparatively weak. Maybe they should rename it Hurricane Jeb.

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Florida State was upset tonight by Georgia Tech  When a game winning potential field goal was blocked and run back. . The Seminoles haven’t been this embarrassed in recent memory without the police being involved.

(my comedy writing friend T.C. coined the perfect term last week after the MSU-Michigan game – a “kick six.”)

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A man was arrested today on Treasure Island in San Francisco after a chase that started when he stole a police car. Did he figure they’d never track him in one of those…. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

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Miami and Clemson players ALMOST got into a pre-game brawl today. Too bad, the brawl might have been more competitive than the game.

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Parts of Texas received up to 30 inches of rain Saturday. Not sure who’s crying more, Texans or Californians.

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So how much worse does the flooding have to get in Texas before Ted Cruz calls again for federal aid?

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As Jeb’s campaign basically seems to be circling the train, maybe it’s time to rewrite conventional wisdom on the Bushes – George H.W. actually looks to be the “smart one.”

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Nate Silver says the NBA may reduce pre-season games starting in 2017. The current number is 8. My guess is that most players and fans think 0 would be a good number.

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Seven high school football players have now died on the field this year. Waiting for someone to say they should be armed.

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Mitt Romney to the Boston Globe this week. “Without Romneycare, I don’t think we would have Obamacare.” You know Obamacare is working when Mitt is back to taking credit.

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Matt Drudge is now commenting on Hillary Clinton’s occasional coughs during the 11-hour Benghazi hearings, saying that and her slow speaking, “obviously induced by meds.” were signs of serious health issues. Well, hell then, let’s have a Congressional committee created to see if Hillary is being honest about her health.

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R.I.P. Maureen O’Hara, 95, She was the last living star of  “Miracle On 34th Street,” the original black-and-white 1947 one. Best Christmas movie ever. See it this year if you haven’t. Not the colorized version.

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Storms and other hot air

October 23, 2015

The Pacifc Coast of Mexico braced today for Patricia, possibly the “worst hurricane ever.,” which was expected still to be a major storm by the time it hits Texas.   Waiting for Donald Trump to say if he were in charge he’d put up a wall to stop it.

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The only way CNN could have been more excited about Hurricane ‪#‎Patricia‬ was if there were a cruise ship potentially stuck in it.

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First Jim Webb, now it’s bye bye Lincoln Chafee. Say what you want about Democrats, but at least they know when to give up on hopeless Presidential campaigns. Yes, I’m talking about you “fill-in-the-blank.”

U.S. authorities this week found a U.S.-Mexico border tunnel stretching the length of 8 football fields long, from Tijuana to San Diego, with lighting, electricity and a rail system. Sounds like these are the kind of folks Trump might want to build that wall.

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Spurs basketball coach Gregg Popovich is going to be the new coach of Team USA. Will be quite a change for Pop to coach a team of American players.

Got to love it, on Friday night, Fox Sports ticker had “Breaking News – Royals defeat Rays 4-3 to advance to second straight World Series.” During post game ‪#‎ALCS‬ coverage.

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Scott Servais will apparently be named the Mariners new manager this year. So once again folks, if you want your kids to grow up to be managers, give them a catcher’s mitt.

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Westboro Baptist Church was picketing the Blue Jays -Royals ALCS game tonight to “preach to the depraved Canadians.” Where were some players with good strong bat flips when you REALLY needed them?

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New Jersey police are looking for the rightful owner of 50 pounds of pot that was mailed to someone who didn’t even live at the address. When that person comes forward he/she will receive free room and board from the state for a while. Along with a ‪#‎canttixstupid‬ award.

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The number of confirmed Shigella infections has risen to 141 in an outbreak traced to a San Jose, CA restaurant. So waiting for N.C. senator Thom Tillis to reiterate his Feb. 2015 comments of how obligatory hand-washing rules are an example of government overreach.

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McDonald’s is testing out new sweet potato fries in Texas. Makes sense. Most Americans really do feel sweet-deprived.

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Maine voters fhis fall have “Question 1”, a citizen initiative to strengthen the state’s Clean Election Act . It requires more donor transparency, and would allow candidates that are being heavily outspent by their opponents to re-qualify for additional public financing by collecting more small-dollar contributions.
Governor Paul LePage says “that’s like giving my wife my checkbook. I’m telling you, it’s giving your wife your checkbook.”
Wow., that’s misogynistic enough you wonder if LePage is hoping to be a GOP running mate.

President Obama today compared Republicans to ‪#‎GrumpyCat‬. Prompting calls for an apology…. from Grumpy Cat.

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While most agree Hillary Clinton is smart, some of the buzzwords used against her are “Machiavellian,” “ambitious,””ruthless,” “duplicitous,” etc.
Just thinking, what if the Dems ran a woman who was just considered smart, sweet, kind and understanding? Then the GOP would say she was naive and by no means tough enough to lead in a tough world of cunning male leader

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Breaking bread?

October 22, 2015

In Israel, a cafe owner is offering 50% off to Jewish and Arab customers who eat at the same table. If this catches on maybe some brave restaurant owner in the U.S could do the same for Democrats and Republicans.

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No playoff baseball on TV tonight. So all Americans got to see what it’s like to be a fan without cable.

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Matt Harvey made $614,000 from the NY Mets this year while Jacob deGrom made $556.000. Together they almost equal the 2015 Mets’ salary of Bobby Bonilla – $1,193,000.

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Don Mattingly will not be back next year as manager of the Los Angeles Dodgers. “I am shocked” said nobody.

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It was a pretty painful loss for Michigan last week, but the ‪#‎SF49ers‬ did all they could tonight to put a smile back on Jim Harbaugh’s face.

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Just thinking when ‪#‎NFL‬ scheduled the ‪#‎SF49ers‬ and ‪#‎Seahawks‬ for ‪#‎TNF‬ they didn’t expect it would be a battle to get out of ‪#‎NFCWest‬ cellar

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So apparently Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian have both signed a document asking that their divorce case be dismissed. Uh, just thinking, since Odom’s in a condition where he probably couldn’t legally even consent to sex, how could he make any decisions on his marriage?

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The state of Oregon is suing GNC saying they knowing spiked supposedly all-natural dietary supplements with synthetic drugs. And hundreds of athletes who’ve been caught for various PED’s are saying “See?”

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Your “wanna get away” moment:  The Intercontinental Hotel Group printed cards for its elite frequent stay guests, with a special toll free number on the back.  But they mistakenly printed 1-800 instead of their toll-free prefix 1-844.  So callers to the number ended up with “America’s hottest” phone sex line.   Oops.

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You know, between investigating Benghazi and Hillary’s emails, not to mention trying to repeal Obamacare and defund Planned Parenthood, it shouldn’t be surprising that the GOP-ledCongress can’t get anything done – they don’t have time for anything else.

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As the Republicans continue to go after Hillary for the deaths in Benghazi have to wonder, would they be giving her a bit more of a break if after the attack she had gotten Obama to invade Grenada?

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Benghazi committee chair Trey Gowdy when asked what new information they got from today’s 11 hour questioning of Hillary Clinton “In terms her testimony, I don’t know if she testified that differently today than she’s previously testified.”
Well, that’s certainly enough reason to convene another special committee.

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Donald Trump retweeted a tweet saying “Ben Carson is now leading in the polls in Iowa Too much Monsanto in the corn creates issues in the brain?” And of course Iowans were furious.
Now Trump tweeted “the young intern who accidentally did a Retweet apologizes.” Would that be the Donald’s excuse as President if he insults one of our allies?

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A study published in Current Biology found the louder the howler monkey, the smaller his testicles.
Does this really need a punchline?

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Finally, this bus-to-hell item from T.C.    “Louisville University has been accused of using strippers and hookers in their recruiting process for their basketball team. Not to be outdone, up until last week, UNLV was toying with the idea of signing Lamar Odom as their basketball ambassador.”

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Back to the past

October 21, 2015

Guess ‪#‎BackToTheFuture‬ was as accurate a predictor as all those prophecies of the Rapture. ‪#‎NLCS‬ ‪#‎Mets‬ ‪#‎Cubs‬

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So did original “Back to the Future” come out during Bartolo Colon’s rookie year? Not quite, but at 12 he was old enough to see it. ‪#‎Mets‬

Well, at least this one’s not on Steve Bartman ‪#‎Cubs‬ ‪#‎Mets‬ ‪#‎NLCS‬

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Joe Biden says he is not running for President, saying there is not enough time to mount an effective campaign. And about a dozen GOP candidates are saying “What’s an effective campaign?”

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Maybe the ‪#‎Cubs‬ had to lose. With ‪#‎JoeBiden‬ dropping out of Presidential race, God didn’t want to give comedy writers a 2nd blow in one day

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The Mets’ Daniel Murphy is looking at a big payday next season. But as far as endorsement contracts, just thinking Murphy might be regretting those anti-gay comments he made in March.

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Chris Christie wants to stop flights from NJ to Cuba. Is he afraid too many New Jerseyans will defect.

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United sent out an email today saying they had completed Wi-Fi installations on
791 aircraft, representing 92% of our domestic fleet 91% of our international fleet. And on about half of those planes, the Wi-Fi actually works.

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Texas Monthly wrote this week about a phrase they use in Norway to describe a situation as “totally crazy” – “Helt Texas.” (The literal translation, “quite Texas.”)
Apparently not many Norwegians have been to Florida?

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Former Michigan coach Brady Hoke said he would have have punted on fourth down with 10 seconds left last week against Michigan State. Uh, Brady Hoke wouldn’t have had the lead with 10 seconds left against Michigan State.

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The NHL Columbus Blue Jackets have fired coach Todd Richards after an 0-7 start. Surprised reactions across the country. “Columbus has a hockey team?” and “the NHL has started already?”

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The rumors aren’t going away that Marshawn Lynch was drag racing Seahawks teammate Fred Jackson when he crashed. If true will Lynch’s defense be that he was just in a hurry to get somewhere so he wouldn’t be fined?

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Now that Paul Ryan is making time with his family a requirement for his being Speaker maybe he can use his clout to get the “Family Medical and Insurance Leave” act out of purgatory in the House Ways and Means Committee where it has been languishing this year. Wonder if he knows the chair of the committee? ‪#‎sarcasm‬

(Ryan IS the chair of the committee.)

Am trying to imagine what the GOP would do if Hillary Clinton said one non-negotiable thing if she becomes President would be making some time every week for her granddaughter.

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Bristol Palin has apparently come to a child support agreement with her first baby daddy Levi Johnston. Which is probably a good thing, as guessing Bristol won’t be getting that $250,000 plus a year any more as a spokeswoman for abstinence.

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Good for you.

October 20, 2015

A new study indicates that instead of fighting cancer, antioxidants in food might actually help the cancer cells grow faster. So once again, maybe the rule is, eat what you want and wait for the studies to change in your favor.

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So just wonder why ANYONE is pitching to Daniel Murphy about now? ‪#‎MetsvsCubs‬

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Jim Webb will drop out of the Presidential race today. Thereby shocking millions of Americans who didn’t yet realize he was in it.

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Meanwhile, over on the GOP side, Lindsey Graham, George Pataki, Rick Santorum. Bobby Jindal and former Jim Gilmore (who?)- are all polling at zero. So considering the margin of error is about 3% they could all be in negative numbers.

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Khloe Kardashian spoke out about Lamar Odom’s hospitalization today, saying the past week has been “incredibly difficult.” “I feel so sorry for her,” said nobody.

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There are rumors that Pete Carroll may leave Seattle and become coach-gm for an NFL team moving to Los Angeles. So Pete misses coaching a Southern California professional team like USC?

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Now Starbucks has a new “Beast Mode frappuccino,” in honor of Marshawn Lynch. So do you have have to order it without saying a word?

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Yesterday a Liberal Prime Minister was elected in Canada. Today the Blue Jays lost 14-2. Waiting for Canadian Conservatives to take a page from their U.S. counterparts and blame Trudeau.

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The French luxury brand Chanel has bought Napa’s St. Supery Estate Vineyards and Winery . The current owner, who started St. Supery in the late 80s, said Channel will “continue (his) vision.” That and slap a label with C’s on it and charge triple the the price.

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Apparently Stanford tailback Christian McCaffrey is now in the Heisman Trophy conversation after gaining 369 all-purpose yards, tops in the FBS this season, against UCLA. If this keeps up McCaffrey may get a trip to New York to watch LSU’s Leonard Fournette accept the award.

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While Oscar Munoz recovers from a heart attack, United Airlines, which has been trying to improve their image, has named Brett Hart, the airline’s executive V.P and general counsel, as acting CEO. Two of Hart’s responsibilities have been United’s “contact centers” and “food services.” Oh, well, he should be just wonderful then…..

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Political consultant Mike Murphy, who leads a pro-Jeb Bush super PAC, dismissed Donald Trump by saying “I don’t think you can be a front-runner if you’re totally unelectable.” So is that what happened to Jeb?

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About a week after RB Derrick Coleman was arrested for DUI, Seattle RB crashed his car today near the team facility. amidst allegations of drag-racing.The Seahawks may have blown the 2015 Super Bowl by going to the air, but these days doesn’t seem like they are that good on the ground either.

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Paul Ryan says he would be willing to serve as Speaker of the House if Republicans will unite. And then presumably the GOP will change their symbol from an elephant to a flying pig?

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Beside demanding unity, Paul Ryan wants to make sure that leading the House GOP will still allow him to spend time for his wife and three children: “I cannot and will not give up my family time.” And of course if Ryan becomes speaker one of his top priorities will be a Family Leave Act…. ‪#‎yeahright‬ ‪#‎familyvalueswhenitsmyfamily‬

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Texas officials announced this week that they will end Medicaid funding for Planned Parenthood clinics, using the excuse that there are allegations that the women’s health organization is profiting from the sale of “aborted baby parts.” Well, at least they will use all the saved money to increase funding for poor mothers and children. Oh, wait, never mind.

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Just wonder how many GOP heads would explode in ‪#‎Texas‬ if pregnant women started bringing guns into hospitals and demanding abortions?

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Dynasty, eh?

October 19, 2015

This is Canada’s new “first family.”  Think suddenly Bill Clinton has extra enthusiam for that potential “First Lady hanging out with wives” role?

Xavier Trudeau covers his eyes as Liberal leader Justin Trudeau watches the results with his wife Sophie Gregoire at a hotel in downtown Montreal on Monday, Oct. 19, 2015. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Paul Chiasson

And just think, in 2017 any treaties between Canada and the U.S. could be negotiated by a Trudeau and either a Bush or a Clinton. Sure glad we broke away from England so we could get rid of that whole idea of being led by royal families.

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For Canada fans of politics and sports; New PM Justin Trudeau is exactly one year and 4 days older than Blue Jays reliever LaTroy Hawkins.

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Canada voted today to elect a new Parliament and Prime Minister. Apparently a CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation) host complained that the two-and-a-half-month campaign was “historically long:” Can’t top John Oliver on this one – “Thinking 78 days is a long campaign is absolutely adorable.”

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Meanwhile, Joe Biden apparently will make a decision this week on entering the Presidential race. If he decides to run, Biden’s campaign kickoff speech will be scheduled for Thursday, Friday and Saturday.

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Apparently tickets for “Star Wars: The Force Awakens”, opening December 18, are now available online. Assume most of the early sales are single tickets.

So when did ‪#‎RogersCentre‬ in Toronto turn into ‪#‎CoorsField‬? ‪#‎ALDS‬ ‪#‎KCvsToronto‬

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Eagles fans are upset because someone put a NY Giants jersey on the Rocky statue . Broncos fans are just shrugging, they’ve been winning all year with a statue at quarterback.

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Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski , arguing against those who think the college basketball schedule should change later into the year “We do represent NCAA institutions, and the thing that happens in late spring is called exams.”
And players at Kentucky are going “What are exams?”

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A Southwest flight from Los Angeles to San Francisco had to turn around and make an emergency landing back at LAX after a woman passenger apparently claimed a man tried to choke her for reclining her seat. Shocking. Mostly that it didn’t happen on United or Spirit.

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No details yet about the passenger who allegedly choked a woman on a Southwest flight for reclining her seat. But we know it wasn’t a member of the SF Giants – they don’t choke in October.

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Still not quite sure what was going on with that Colts fake punt yesterday. Maybe Indianapolis figured the Patriots defenders would all just fall down laughing?

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You know your NFL division sucks when you are tied for the lead with a record that might not even make the playoffs in the NBA ‪#‎NFCLeast‬

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In Tombstone, Arizona, an actor is recovering after accidentally shooting himself in the groin while reenacting a gunfight near the OK Corral last weekend.  Your move, Florida.

USA Today is reporting that in 2016, some Republicans are hoping for a higher evangelical born-again Christian turnout, as estimates are there were was many as 17 million “missing” evangelical voters in 2012.
Maybe they weren’t missing, maybe they just expected God would provide them with a President?

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An Iowa man, arrested for stealing a taxi in Des Moines, said he took it because he didn’t want to walk home. I think I see a new potential ad campaign “Uber – there’s an easier way.”

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Hot and cold

October 18, 2015

So the temperature in New York is under 40 degrees at game time tonight. Maybe they were right when they said hell would freeze over before the Cubs got close to another World Series again.

If this keeps up even LGBT New Yorkers will be hugging Daniel Murphy ‪#‎NLDS‬ ‪#‎Cubs‬ ‪#‎Mets‬

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The Detroit Lions won their first game today. So presumably the 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers and 2008 Detroit Lions Teams broke open a case of generic beer.

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Apparently fire alarms were pulled around 530a on the two floors of the Seattle hotel where the Carolina Panthers were staying. So sounds like the 13th man might be a hotel employee?

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Not that it worked to help the Hawks though. Seattle may well not get back to the postseason with their fourth loss and late-blown lead of the season. But they are looking like the undisputed “winner” to fill in the blank of an old joke.
“Whats the difference between the ‘blank’ and a dollar? You can get four quarters out of a dollar.”

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Hard to believe watching their game that the ‪#‎Ravens‬ & ‪#‎49ers‬ were in the Super Bowl against each other only three years ago.

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The Steelers’ Cam Heyward was fined $5,787 for wearing eye black to honor his late father Craig “Ironhead” Heyward last week, but he chose to wear it again. No doubt the league will fine him again, this sort of thing distracts from all their official approved uniforms available for sale on NFL.com

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In Australia, a man went one year without sex to raise money for charity. Hmm, this could make Silicon Valley the philanthropy capital of the world.

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The Orlando Sentinel is reporting on a “marijuana epidemic” in college football. Uh, one, if it’s an epidemic, it’s been going on for decades. And two, “epidemic” generally means those who have symptoms want to be cured.

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Michigan’s AD is calling for fans to lay off the punter who fumbled at the end of the game yesterday resulting in a last second MSU game. Makes sense, one, he’s a kid, two, he’s not the one who called plays that in 4 downs couldn’t run 1 minute and 47 seconds off the clock. (Spartans had and used only 1 time out.)

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In Chicago, a 6-year-old boy fatally shot his 3-year-old brother playing “cops and robbers.” The father told police he bought the gun to protect his family. So I guess he should have armed the toddler too?

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From my funny friend Alex Kaseberg.   “Donald Trump claims he would have stopped 9/11. Apparently he would have hired the terrorists and then they would have had to declare bankruptcy.

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M going to be Blue

October 17, 2015

For as rough as that game ending was in Ann Arbor,  a game-winning touchdown after a blocked punt with 10 seconds to go, Jim Harbaugh still has to be waking up tomorrow thinking “At least I’m not still coaching the 49ers.”

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Jim Harbaugh probably got a sympathy tweet from Nick Saban ‪#‎MSUvsMICH‬ ‪#‎AuburnvsAlabama‬

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 And here Harbaugh thought his kicking nightmares were over when he left Stanford and Jordan Williamson.
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San Francisco rents are so high that one female software engineer has written about the fact that she now lives in a VW Bus. What will be even scarier is when she decides to rent half the bus out on AirBNB.

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So some KC Royals fans are starting a petition to have Joe Buck removed from the ALCS because they say he is biased against their team. SF Giants fans are laughing. They know Buck is biased against any team that isn’t the Cardinals.

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While the ALCS is moving to Toronto for game three, there won’t be a game on Sunday. So we won’t have the dilemma – would MLB still insist on “God Bless America?”

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Jeb Bush and Donald Trump called each other “pathetic” yesterday. It was a rare time they were both right.

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The Oklahoma Sooners flight to Manhattan, KS for their football game against KSU today was delayed over 8 hours. Now I know travel agents have a different perspective, but really? The DRIVE is only about 4 1/2 hours

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As expected, Zack Greinke has opted out of his contract with the Dodgers.(he ONLY has 3 years and $71 million left, and wants a longer deal.)
Not sure about 5 years to any 32 year old pitcher. But SF has a record as a good home for head cases.

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Mike, a combat dog that became a service animal for an Army veteran was shot and killed by a bicyclist in Wyoming who said the dog threatened him. Waiting for the NRA to say “If only the dog had been armed.”

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Memphis defeated Ole Miss today to move to 6-0. Wow. Memphis has a college football team?

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USC played Notre Dame‬ Saturday .    Bringing up the age-old question for many American football fans – “Can both teams lose?”

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Lindsay Lohan is now saying in “In #2020 I may run for president.” And somewhere Jon Stewart is thinking “The universe REALLY doesn’t want me to retire.”

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US Airways flight 1939 took off Friday night from San Francisco to Philadelphia, the last US Airways flight ever before their merger with American Airlines. Poignant night for many fliers – one less airline to blame.

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TBS host Casey Stern was caught dropping an f-bomb on air after the Mets’ game 1 NLCS win over the Cubs today. Can only imagine what some of the Michigan broadcasters said away from the microphone after the end of the MSU game.

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Apparently Rand Paul, Mike Huckabee, Bobby Jindal, George Pataki, Lindsey Graham and Rick Santorum are all spending more money than they are getting in donations so could end up dropping out of the 2016 Presidential race soon.
With the possible exception of Paul, and maybe Huckabee, who’s donating to ANY of them?

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Taking a ribbing?

October 16, 2015

Bevo XIV, a longhorn steer who was the University of Texas mascot, has died from bovine leukemia. But he still might be a part of a memorial BBQ in his honor.

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In Houston, amazingly no one was killed and six workers have been rescued after scaffolding collapsed at an apartment construction site downtown. It was the worst collapse the city has seen except for the Astros bullpen.

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An American Airlines flight was delayed in Dallas by a swam of over a 1,000 bees. On a brighter note, that’s the first time in recent memory the airline has generated serious buzz

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United’s new CEO has been soliciting feedback on the carrier from customers. Now he is apparently in the hospital after suffering a heart attack. Hope this isn’t from the shock of seeing what people think of the airline.

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Fox News terrorism pundit Wayne Simmons was arrested yesterday after a grand jury indicted him on charges of falsely claiming to have been a 27-year CIA operative. Shame grand juries can’t indict for falsely claiming to be a credible presidential candidate.

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So the state of Nevada has at least temporarily outlawed FanDuel and DraftKing, saying that their games are gambling and need a license. So now the only way to gamble in Nevada outside of a casino remains the stock market.

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A little side note on that ‪#‎Owusu‬ catch. Yes,there was a defensive pass interference flag. ‪#‎Stanford‬ declined the penalty.

The German football federation says allegations in Der Speigel that it used over 10 million Swiss francs to bribe FIFA members to get the 2006 World Cup are “completely baseless.” Do they mean the idea of bribes or the amount of money?

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Even a mean, blind, deaf and dumb squirrel finds a nut once in a while: Westboro Baptist Church says that they will protest Kim Davis on Monday for her “adultery,” claiming that the county clerk is a “proud, self-righteous hypocrite.”

While he wasn’t arrested Browns’ QB Johnny Manziel was apparently pulled over earlier this week in Cleveland when witnesses saw him arguing with his girlfriend in a car. And Manziel admitted to drinking. So congrats to all those who had October 16 in the pool.

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Joe Biden’s camp is indicating that the V.P. is close to deciding if he will enter the 2016 Presidential race. Even Brett Favre is saying “Dude, make up your effing mind.”

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From T.C. ” Toronto Blue Jays fans pelted the field with objects after a controversial call went against them in game 5 of the ALDS. . Signs will be posted for their next game that patrons will be immediately ejected if they throw any beer cans, soda pop containers or Maple Leaf jerseys onto the field.”

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Catch of the year?

October 16, 2015

Yeah, so Francis Owusu made an incredible touchdown catch for Stanford. But he may never again be able to order pizza in Indiana.

francis-owusu-catch

Although if you haven’t seen the video  – https://vine.co/v/eE0xe6eY2pu   Francis Owuso and Stanford also managed with an after midnight eastern time play  to pull off #1 in ESPN’s top plays, beating out time zones AND East coast bias. ‪

How cool is it for SF Bay Area sports fans?   #BeatLA twice in one night.

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So if ‪#‎Utley‬ retires in the offseason do they suspend him for his first two old-timers games? ‪

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Donald Trump is threatening to skip the next debate. The horror. The remaining candidates might actually have to talk about issues.
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Khloe Kardashian is calling the owner of the brothel where Lamar Odom collapsed a “publicity pimp.” This in between numerous calling out of kettles for being black.
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Your heartwarming story for the day. Kim Kardashian is so upset at her ex-brother-in-law Lamar Odom’s condition that she has CANCELED HER BABY SHOWER FOR THIS WEEKEND. ‪#‎familyvalues‬
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Oscar Pistorius will be released to house arrest next week, about 2 1/2 years after he fatally shot his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day 2013. Amazing. If he were an NFL star Pistorius would have received at least a 6 game suspension.
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Eagles coach Chip Kelly said today he is not a candidate for the head coaching jobs at USC and Texas. Well, makes sense, he’s got a perfectly good job coaching an amateur team now.
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Donald Trump’s son Eric talking about his dad’s presidential campaign, says his dad “does not lose.” Of course not, Trump will use the Vietnam method: Declare victory and pull out.
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As of August 1, 2016, college students in Texas will be allowed to have guns in their dorm rooms. Guess it makes some sense, if you make it almost impossible to have an abortion in the state, got to find ways to cull the herd somehow.
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Not a fan of showboating, and the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ don’t play that way. But interesting tweet about Bautista’s home run and bat flip: “@MikeAndMike in the playoffs and a late inning go ahead HR, there is nothing wrong with what @JoeyBats19 did. Regular season it’s a nae nae.”
The tweeter, Joe Carter.
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The Seattle Seahawks suspended FB Derrick Coleman indefinitely pending charges of vehicular assault and hit and run. According to ESPN, Coleman has played on 20% of the team’s offensive snaps this year and has also played on special teams. Of course, I am sure the team would have also suspended him as quickly if he were a star. ‪#‎sarcasm‬

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Bluer than blue

October 14, 2015

Every single team left in the 2015 MLB postseason wears the same color.   So can we now title the playoffs “Bluer than Blue”

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Well, in Texas it’s about time for sports fans to go back to complaining about their NFL teams.

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Watching the Astros bullpen in games 4 and 5 reminds you of why the Giants’ Bruce Bochy wasn’t taking that ball from Madbum’s hand in 2014.

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After today’s near riot at Rogers Centre in Toronto  have to figure a lot of people aren’t asking any more why Canada has such strict gun laws. ‪#‎Toronto‬‪  #‎Bluejays‬‪  #‎ALDS‬

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ALDS game 5 may be rebroadcast as an episode of the Twi-light Zone. ‪

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In Toronto today for half an inning there was the thought that the run that would decide the deciding game of a best of 5 series would have scored on a deflected ball that the catcher was trying to throw back to the pitcher.  When the batter MIGHT have interfered, and the umpire MIGHT have called time out.  And the Blue Jays decided to play the game under protest which could have been a fascinating appeal process…… In the Commissioner’s office Rob Manfred must have just popped champagne after that Bautista home run.
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Moscow and St Petersburg are considering a 1 day a week ban on alcohol sales as an effort to combat problems resulting from heavy drinking in Russia. Yeah, this works so well in places with blue laws like Texas.

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Uh oh, Mike Huckabee’s off his meds again: “I trust Bernie Sanders like I trust a North Korean chef with my labrador.” Has anyone reminded Huckabee that Jesus was a socialist?
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Stay classy USC, Apparently former coach Steve Sarkisian learned he had been fired when he read an e-mail and text messages from friends expressing sympathy.
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University of Florida DB Deiondre Porter has been suspended indefinitely after being arrested on four felony counts. He allegedly held a gun to his pregnant girlfriend’s head and shot in her direction. This is perhaps not what Gators fans intended when they talked about missing the halcyon days of Urban Meyer.
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There are things that make us proud to be human and living in the USA. This headline is not one of them: “Khloe Kardashian Reportedly Rushes to Lamar Odom’s Bedside With Family Members and a Camera Crew.”
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Yoko Ono is talking again about John Lennon, saying that he had a “desire” to sleep with men, but told her t “I just never found somebody that was that attractive. Both John and I were into attractiveness, you know, beauty.” Yeah, Yoko said it, with a straight face.
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The Washington Post is reporting that 43 people have been shot in the USA this year alone by toddlers age three and younger. Well, maybe if it weren’t easier to fire a gun than to remove a child-proof cap….
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A Subway customer says he found a dead mouse in a sandwich at a restaurant on the Oregon coast. And this is still less embarrassing to the chain than Jared.
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Donald Trump last night about the Dem debate “Sorry, there is no STAR on the stage tonight!” Well, since Bernie Sanders would like to increase his fundraising, just guessing Bernie would take Trump on in a one-on-one televised debate, any time. Now that Americans would definitely watch.
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Donald Trump now wants taxpayer-funded Secret Service for his protection during the campaign. Uh, really, as incompetent as Trump claims to think the government is, wouldn’t you think he’d feel safer with his own private body guards?
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From T.C.  On Playboy’s getting rid of nude pictures  “That’s it, I’m cancelling my Playboy subscription and am planning to renew with National Geographic. grrrrrrr”

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No morning sunshine?

October 13, 2015

A new study found that people who like their coffee black are more likely to be sadistic and psychopathic. Well, at least until they get their coffee.

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For the second consecutive week, an error by MNF officials could have changed the outcome of the game, (although the Steelers won despite the “loss” of 18 seconds on the clock.) Maybe we should start checking the officiating crew for DraftKings accounts?

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Playboy has announced they will stop publishing nude pictures. Shocking. Playboy is still publishing?

USC Athletic Director Pat Haden said that now former coach Steve Sarkasian was fired because he “did not meet USC’s standards.” Well, that I believe. Trojans, at 1-2, are 5th out of 6 teams in the Pac 12 South.

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Twitter is laying off 8% of their engineers. So presume the pink slips were done in under 140 characters ‪#‎yourefired‬

The ‪#‎Cubs‬‘ Anthony Rizzo hit a go-ahead home run on an 0-2 pitch. ‪#‎SFGiants‬ fans are having bad 2015 regular season flashbacks.

You think you might be having a bad week at work. Probably not as bad as Kevin Siegrist. (Cardinals relief pitcher. two losses in two days. Including the Cubs clincher today.)

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Ted Cruz is apparently moving up in the GOP polls. Just what kind of a world do we live in when Cruz isn’t close to looking like the most bat-shit crazy one?

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Donald ‪#‎Trump‬ is hosting ‪#‎SNL‬ on Nov. 7. Well, good for the Donald. He could use the exposure.

Some UberX drivers are supposedly planning not to work this weekend as a protest against the company’s low rates and lack of a tip option. Well, if this catches on it should be good for some serious surge pricing.

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So Lamar Odom is apparently “fighting for his life,” after being found unconscious at a Nevada brothel. Sad. Although perhaps the saddest people are the Kardashians since he’s no longer a “cast member” of their show.

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A new poll in California shows the President’s approval rating at 60%, the highest of his second term. ‪#‎IblameObama‬

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Democrats were wondering how to get viewers interested in their first debate tonight. Maybe Bernie Sanders should have threatened to take out Hillary Clinton with a hard slide?

“The excitement can still be felt in the debate hall.” And CNN said it with a straight face. ‪#‎DemDebate‬

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How could the ‪#‎Demdebate‬ possibly compete with stuff like this? Newt Gingrich said if called upon he would consider becoming Speaker of the House again, telling Sean Hannity “This is why George Washington came out of retirement – because there are moments you can’t avoid.” ‪#‎yeshesaidit‬ ‪#‎nottheOnion‬

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If anyone thinks that these days women are treated with any sort of equality in politics, then they clearly missed the earth-shattering commentary that Clinton aide Huma Abedin wore ALMOST THE SAME British dress that Kate Middleton has been seen in last year. ‪#‎nottheOnion‬  (The U.K Daily Mail,

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Hits by pitch?

October 12, 2015

Scoring 13 runs against the team that took out your starting shortstop really IS the best revenge.

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Some of these MLB  Postseason‬ games are beginning to resemble those Little League games where teams all run out of pitching. ‪

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So since MLB would not hear his appeal today, Chase Utley could have played tonight. Which might have brought a whole new audience to NLDS game 3, including those who felt gypped on Mayweather-Pacquiao.

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Ouch, a 6-2 lead with 2 innings to go in a series clinching game. The 2015 ‪#‎Astros‬ are getting sympathy messages from 2002 ‪#‎SFGiants‬ ‪#‎ALDS‬

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Donald Trump thinks Tuesday’s Democratic debate won’t be very well-rated because he isn’t in it, and “and people are gonna get bored and turn it off.”
Well, he is probably right. Because most Americans aren’t really ready to pay attention to the Presidential election. But we always love watching a good train wreck.

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Gennifer Flowers is back, saying she has things in a safety deposit box to ensure her “safety, and that Bill’s infidelity “should come back up with the circumstances, with Hillary running. It should come back to the forefront again.”
Translation, someone might actually pay me money to talk again.

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A day after USC ordered their coach to take a leave of absence,and AD Pat Haden says “it was very clear to me that he is not healthy,” the Trojans have fired Steve Sarkasian. That stampeding sound you hear is from a whole lot of rushing Los Angeles employment lawyers.

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My friend Alex Kaseberg’s take on Sarkisian’s original leave of absence for “ an undisclosed condition.  ” I can disclose the condition: losing.”

In all seriousness, if USC had started 5-0 does anyone doubt that Sarkisian would not only still have a job, he’d be able to have a flask attached to his headset?

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Texas Gov. Greg Abbott sent out a tweet today “congratulations to the @astros for advancing to the ALCS. Looking for an all-Texas ‪#‎ALCS‬. Looking at you @Rangers.” And somewhere W. and Rick Perry are thinking “And we’re supposed to be the stupid ones?”

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An Alaska Airlines flight had to make an emergency landing today when a credit card reader on board caught fire. So how many snack boxes and drinks were they selling to get it that overheated?

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Minnesota dentist Walter Palmer Minnesota will apparently not be charged for the shooting of Cecil the lion in Zimbabwe. Know Palmer paid $50,000 for the original hunting permit, wonder how much he paid for the verdict.

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These days it’s harder to figure out what channel the playoff games are on than to explain the infield fly rule. ‪#‎MLBPostseason‬ ‪#‎ALDS‬ ‪#‎NLDS‬

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Florida QB Will Grier has thrown for 10 TDs and 1,204 yards for the Gators. Today he was suspended for PED’s. Well, on the bright side, at least Grier may have proven he’s NFL ready.
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In San Antonio, Texas, a husband fatally shot his wife last weekend in their house. He claims he mistook her in the middle of the night for an intruder. ‪#‎ifonlyshewasarmed‬

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Apparently Pepsi is launching a new cellphone. Presume the phone won’t lose power, it will just go flat?

Some Democrats are looking forward to the first debate because “Democrats will finally be in the headlines.” Right, just below the headline of whatever insane thing Trump or Carson or Fiorina says tomorrow.

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South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier said he is retiring effectively immediately. Now before the season Spurrier said “We were 11-2 and ranked fourth in the country this time a year ago, and nobody said a damn word. Now a year later I’m suddenly too old..” Amazing how much a 2-4 start will make a man feel his age.

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Slip, sliding away

October 11, 2015

Give Chase Utley‬ credit, during the middle of football season he got a whole lot of U.S. sports fans talking about baseball ‪

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Chase Utley suspended for two games. Might be safer than if Don Mattingly had dared to put him at Citifield in New York anyway  ‪

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How much more perfect could it be if the NLDS series hero turns out to be Wilmer Flores? ‪

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Not surprisingly, Mets fans tend to think Utley’s slide was dirty, Dodgers fans tend to think it was just good hard baseball.  So assume if Mets player injures Dodgers 2nd baseman Howie Kendrick with an Utley-like slide in game 3, LA will have no problem with it?

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The ‪#‎Saints‬ may be interested in signing Chase Utley for defense. ‪#‎bettertackling‬

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Houston ‪#‎Astros‬ were the lowest seeded team into the 2015 ‪#‎MLBPlayoffs‬. Lowest team in 2014? ‪#‎SFGiants‬

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USC has apparently told coach Steve Sarkisian to take a leave of absence. Sort of like much of the Trojans football team has been doing all season?

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Oregon’s football team has THREE losses? For some players it’s the first time they’ve had to count that high.

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But okay, the Ducks might not even be the most disappointing football team in the Northwest  #SeattleSeahawks.

Apparently an increasing number of Canadians want to build a wall to keep Americans out. Maybe this is Trump’s grand plan. Not to win the presidency but to get the building contract.

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Governor Jerry Brown signed a bill saying California schools will no longer be allowed to use “Redskins” as a mascot or team name. Professional teams aren’t mentioned, but, at least this won’t be an issue during the 2016 Super Bowl in Santa Clara.

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A man was shot and seriously injured tonight in Arlington, TX, in a parking lot shared by the Rangers and Cowboys. A suspect is in custody with no further details. But just guessing he’s not one of those wacky Blue Jays fans.

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Trump clearly is tired of Ben Carson getting all the headlines, saying today 200,000 Syrian migrants coming into the US “‘could make the Trojan horse look like peanuts if these people turned out to be a lot of ISIS”

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President Obama said that John Boehner’s departure could worsen Congressional gridlock. You mean it’s possible to go slower than a dead stop?

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