Archive for September 2015

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Winners, eh?

September 30, 2015

Congrats to the Toronto ‪Blue Jays for winning AL East. Stand by for ‪#‎Trump‬ to complain about immigrants taking more from Americans.

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Hurricane Joaquin could strengthen and hit the U.S. East Coast this weekend. If so, who will be the first GOP governor who rails against the federal government to ask Obama for aid.

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The story out of Washington is the Nationals are absolutely done with Jonathan Papelbon after this season. Too soon to start a pool what what team is crazy enough to take him?
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New MLB commissioner Rob Manfred wants to speed up games even more, with rule changes like limiting pitching changes and trips to the mound, or requiring each pitcher to face multiple batters. Well, he could leave the game alone and just cut out a minute of commercials between innings.
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But okay, limiting trips to the mound.  Should we start letting pitchers communicate with coaches and teammates by text?
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Think if ‪MLB‬ knew there might be 2 ‪NY‬ teams & 2 ‪LA‬ teams in playoffs maybe games would be on network TV?   ‪#‎dodgers‬ ‪#‎mets‬ ‪#‎angels‬ ‪#‎yankees

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Again, who says I never post anything nice about the Dodgers? This was a classy quote from Adrian Gonzalez “I want first off to tip my cap to the Giants,” he said. “They had a ton of injuries. I know they won’t make that excuse for themselves, but they battled, they played hard all year and they’re a great team.”

And Clayton Kershaw had a great game last night.

Okay, being nice is over. Go Mets.

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#‎Dodgers‬ now have won the West 3 times in the last 5 years to the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ 2 titles. ‪#‎Giants‬ fans can deal with it. ‪#‎Wegotrings‬

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The Angels, fighting for a playoff spot, gave a “tip of the hat” in their media game notes to Barry Zito, for making what would probably be his last major league start tonight. They were really hoping to give Zito an ovation if he lasts as long as he did in his penultimate start against the Giants- – 2 innings.

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Jud McMillin, a “family values” Indiana lawmaker resigned over explicit sex videos that were reportedly found on his phone. McMillin is a married father-of-four, who now says he “wants to spend more time with his family.” Thinking at this point there’s a good chance that his family may not want to spend more time with him.

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More from McMillin. He had sent a text message last week. “My phone was stolen in Canada and out of my control for about 24 hours. I have just been able to reactivate it under my control. Please disregard any messages you received recently. I am truly sorry for anything offensive you may have received.”

I think I like “pushed into a lifeboat” better.

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The NY Times Square Task Force has decided to let topless painted women stay, but also to more than double the police force in the area from 46 to 107. So a win-win, more tourist dollars AND job creation?

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Jeb Bush just said that he didn’t think the Washington Redskins should change their name. Well, if anyone is likely to be clueless on how many Americans might find a name offensive, it’s a Bush.

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Who says there’s no such thing as an honest politician. Potential House Speaker Kevin McCarthy: “Everybody thought Hillary Clinton was unbeatable, right? But we put together a Benghazi special committee. A select committee. What are her numbers today? Her numbers are dropping. Why? Because she’s untrustable. But no one would have known that any of that had happened had we not fought to make that happen.”
Isn’t it nice to know we’ve spent years and $4.5 million of taxpayer money for the House to do their job of being GOP political consultants?

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Swimming time?

September 29, 2015

The Dodgers complained that when they clinched in Arizona the Diamondbacks got upset when players jumped in the pool to celebrate. But the Giants are classier than that. Heard SF told LA if they clinched at AT&T Park, the entire Dodgers team was invited to jump into McCovey Cove.

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Well, to be fair, this has been largely a AAA lineup lately for the ‪#‎SFGiants‬. And tonight looked like regressing to the mean.

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Think what angered ‪#‎Madbum‬ most, those last two home runs given up meant he didn’t get another AB against ‪#‎Kershaw‬ ‪#‎SFGiants‬

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Last week, Donald Trump said he was boycotting Fox News. Tonight, he’s appearing on the O’Reilly Factor. Guess even the Donald knows there’s no such thing as bad (free) publicity.

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A body was found wrapped in a plastic sheet on an Oakland street today. People say they have not determined a cause of death. Pretty sure we can rule out suicide. ‪#‎bustohell‬

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Four MLB games tonight delayed or postponed due to rain. Well, cheer up baseball fans, due to the late start of the season to humor ESPN, maybe for this year’s World Series we could have games delayed by snow.

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WTF? Jeb Bush says his tax plan will save middle-class Americans $2,000 a year, and “if a family were to invest the $2,000 they would save annually over a 20-year period and at compounded interest rate of 8%, they would accumulate a nest egg of $108,000 to help better prepare them for a comfortable retirement.”

8% compounded interest rate? Maybe Jeb hasn’t actually stopped smoking marijuana. ‪#‎andhessupposedtobethesmartone‬

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More Jeb Bush, writing in USA today on his proposed $2,000 tax cut for the middle class: “Two thousand dollars is four mortgage payments for the median American household.” ‪#‎Yeshesaidit‬

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QB Michael Vick, on starting Thursday in place of injured Ben Rothlisberger “This is a great opportunity for me because I don’t know if I’m going to have this opportunity ever again. ” Well, at least Vick didn’t say he felt like he was on a short leash.

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Twitter is apparently working on a way for users to compose Tweets of longer than 140 characters. Joe Biden reportedly has just activated his account.

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Carly Fiorina is already attacking the “liberal media” for accusing her of lying about Planned Parenthood and talking about an image that did not exist – “They’re trying to have a conversation about a TECHNICALITY (caps mine) about a video tape.”
Sarah Palin must be so proud. (Although she’s thinking, Carly, it’s “lamestream media.” )

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A data scientist says he has found proof that Ashley Madison created 40,000 fake women’s profiles to get users into joining and paying for its website. And thousands of guys are now trying to convince their wives they faked men’s profiles too.

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SMU’s men’s basketball team has been declared ineligible for the 2016 postseason and coach Larry Brown has been suspended 9 games for “multiple violations.” What’s Brown trying to prove at this point, that he can compete with John Calipari? .

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Utah Rep Jason Chaffetz today went after Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards about her $500,000 salary. Funny, never heard him complain about the $174,000 salary plus travel and other expenses that members of Congress get, or that $21 million (plus $19 million in stock) golden parachute Carly Fiorina got from HP.

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The horror.

September 28, 2015

Facebook was down for about an hour Monday. The horror. Millions of Americans were forced actually to work.

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Washington suspended Jonathan Papelbon 4 games for choking teammate Bryce Harper, and Papelbon accepted MLB’s 3 game suspension for throwing at Manny Machado, so the closer’s season is over. Of course, so was the Nationals’ the day they traded for him.

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Who knew that Papelbon-Harper would turn out to be far more riveting than Mayweather-Pacquiao?

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People Magazine is reporting Kris Jenner saying about Caitlyn Jenner “I wish I’d never met this man.” Funny, that’s what millions of Americans are saying about meeting Kris’s entire family.

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The Washington Nationals pulled Papelbon’s jersey from their stadium shop today. Guessing kids in Africa may have a choice between them and more than a few overstocked Sandoval Red Sox jerseys.

(although the Sandoval jerseys have the added advantage of doubling as tents.)

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It’s not even October 1. Anyone but me already tired of ‪#‎Pumpkin‬?

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Hillary Clinton, asked today if she’s”a Pumpkin Spice Latte kind of gal.” “Ha! The true answer is I used to be until I saw how many calories are in them”
Waiting for the GOP to condemn her for an elitist act like reading.

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With all this talk about the ‪#‎Bloodmoon‬ it’s amazing Donald ‪#‎Trump‬ didn’t use the occasion once again to trash talk ‪#‎megynkelly‬

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Former Australian rugby league player Jarryd Hayne had a 37 yd punt return for SF yesterday in their 47-7 loss against Arizona. Shocking. The 49ers actually got the Cardinals to punt?

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Last weekend George Zimmerman retweeted a graphic photo of Trayvon Martin’s corpse sent to him by an admirer who called Zimmerman “a one man army.” Can’t we figure out a way for George to get in an argument with dentist Walter Palmer?

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An Arizona woman says she found a 26-pound bundle of marijuana that had fallen from a drug smuggler’s plane into her dog house. And a whole lot of people serving time now are going “Why didn’t I think of that?”

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Two Ohio alleged bank robbers were arrested after they posted selfies with money on Facebook. Your move, Florida. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

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Another Arizona woman tried to fake an armed robbery by calling 911 to say she had been attacked and stabbed in her restaurant parking lot. She just didn’t notice the police car parked within sight. They arrested her and found the money in her car. ‪#‎morecompetitionforFlorida‬ ‪#‎Cantfixstupid‬

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The Missouri Attorney General said his office has concluded an investigation and “the evidence reviewed supports Planned Parenthood’s representation that fetal tissue is handled in accordance with Missouri law.”
Waiting for the first GOP candidate to say “well what does an attorney general know about law?”

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Choked up?

September 27, 2015

Hundreds of thousands people apparently showed up today in Philadelphia to see the Pope. It being Philly, you have to wonder how many who showed up to see Francis actually booed him.

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Of course, the Pope is not a stupid man. He picked a time of year to visit Philadelphia when there was zero chance of snowballs.

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So ‪#‎Papelbon‬ is looking like he’s through with the ‪#‎Nationals‬. Is the closer trying to earn a tryout with the ‪#‎Redskins‬ defense?

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Although I suppose it could be said that by putting his hands on Harper’s neck,  Papelbon was just trying to do to Bryce what the Nats have done on the field since he arrived.

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Colts‬ fans hoped their team would “Suck for Luck.” Time for ‪#‎49ers‬ fans to hope team will “Slack off for Goff? ‪

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Every time I hear Hillary Clinton talk about the email issues, just wonder why she didn’t come out and say “Look, you really think I understood any of this stuff at first? When it comes to computers my basic reaction has been ‘Does it turn on, can I log in?”
Thinking she’d have gotten a lot more sympathy from those of us whose kids roll their eyes at our ineptitude with technology. And from the younger generation who laughs at their parents.
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Barry Zito, 37, and Tim Hudson, 40, were both given ovations in their short starts yesterday. “Well deserved for two nice young men” said Jamie Moyer.
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Mark Zuckerberg at the UN said that expanding internet access to global communities could help ‘lift them out of poverty.” Possibly, although here in the U.S. internet access can keep people too busy playing games to find a job.
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Congress is going to be a different place without John Boehner in November. For starters, the Kleenex consumption in the House will go way down ‪#‎nomoretears‬
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A poll of Republicans at the Voting Values Summit said they preferred a Ted Cruz-Ben Carson ticket in 2016. Funny enough, a lot of Democrats would be happy if the GOP ran that ticket too.

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So with the latest college football rankings, the highest ranked 1 loss team (at #13) is Alabama. “I’m shocked,” said nobody

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Ben Carson now says that many immigrants sneaking across the Mexico border “are hardened criminals’’ not from Latin America but from Iraq, Somalia and Russia. USA Today, however, reports that DHS said in 2013, nearly 93% caught at the border came from Mexico, Guatemala, Honduras or El Salvador.

Maybe I’m wrong, but I always thought you needed math to get into med school.

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#‎SFGiants‬ now have about a .01% chance of making the post season this year. So approximately the same chance as the ‪#‎SF49ers‬

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Ted Cruz today made a rousing speech to a conservative group promising to end the “persecution of religious liberty.” Uh, Senator Cruz, to paraphrase Inigo Montoya “I do not think this phrase means what you think it means.”

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From T.C.   “Martin Shkreli, the CEO of a pharmaceutical firm raised the price of a prescription drug from $13.50 to $750. In related news, Whole Foods said they may be interested in hiring him.”

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Oldies but goodies.

September 26, 2015

Today ‪#‎SFGiants‬ pitcher Tim Hudson threw his first pitch at 87 mph. Barry Zito was clocked at 85. And the Warriors’ Klay Thompson threw out the ceremonial first pitch at 89 mph ‪#‎speedisnteverything‬

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As disappointing as the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ season may be with all their injuries, interesting to note that if they were in the AL, they’d be basically tied for the 2nd Wild Card spot.

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So is it too soon to open two pools on when Jim Harbaugh will take Michigan to their first major bowl game? And then when he will end up leaving after alienating most everyone at the school?

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John Boehner’s resignation is effective October 30. Which means with only two months left it will be close if he can make that first million as a lobbyist in 2015.

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Bad news for ‪#‎Saints‬ – Drew Brees will miss Sunday’s game. Good news for ‪#‎Bears‬ – so will Jay Cutler.

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So at the same time ESPN is reporting on Pete Rose and his banishment from baseball for gambling, in talking about this weekend’s NFL games they are also posting players’ “DraftKings” prices. #$$$$$$

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Eric Cantor wrote an op-ed in the NY Times calling for GOP restraint. Is it a sign of the apocalypse that Eric Cantor is the voice of reason?

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You know you’re not really in touch with pop culture when you read something like “Kaley Cuoco and Ryan Sweeting are getting divorced,” and you think “who and who?”

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Now Donald Trump has going after Marco Rubio, calling him a “clown.” Trump does realize if he actually wins this nomination he has to pick SOMEONE as a running mate?

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There were amazingly no injuries when a man accidentally started a fire at a gas station while trying to kill a spider, with a lighter. This was in Center Line, Michigan. Catch up, Florida.

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A Florida woman was arrested today and facing felony charges after posting pictures this July showing her riding on a sea turtle. If she’d only just gotten drunk and shot someone instead….

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If he can make it there, he’ll make it anywhere?

September 25, 2015

The Pope celebrated Mass at Madison Square Garden. And possibly broke the record for the most people praying in that august arena, previously set by the Knicks.

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So what kind of a world do we live in when John Boehner is too moderate to lead Congress?

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Not questioning John Boehner’s decision to resign. But wouldn’t you think as a good Catholic the Speaker would have picked a day to do it where he didn’t take headlines from the Pope?

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A man was arrested after he stole a lottery ticket dispenser at 1a and later that morning tried to cash one of the tickets at the SAME STORE. — Do I even need to stay this was Florida?

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Jeb Bush yesterday talking about African-Americans to a Republican group. “Our message is one of hope and aspiration. It isn’t one of division and ‘Get in line and we’ll take care of you with free stuff.” So Jeb said it because that message worked so well for Mitt Romney .

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Jeb Bush says Pope Francis shouldn’t be talking about fighting climate change he “is not a scientist, he’s a religious leader.” Fine, so can we await Jeb’s statement that he and other candidates shouldn’t talk about climate change and other scientific issues because they are political leaders?

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So in the NY Giants finally won their first game of the season Thursday night. Who says no good ever comes from dealings with Washington?

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October will be “Breast Cancer Awareness” month. Wouldn’t it be nice if the only cancerous boob we worried about getting rid of was Ted Cruz?

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Already seeing some conservative media criticism over Michelle Obama’s wearing a $2,300 dress to meet the Pope, who has spoken against materialism. Right. And had she shown up in a $23 Target dress it would have been criticized as showing a lack of respect. ‪#‎cantwin‬

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17 second stare down between umpire Joe West & ‪#‎MadBum‬ during Thursday night’s Padres-Giants game.   Don’t blame West. After all 31,000 paid their way in to see him call balls & strikes.

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Paul Pierce, about to start his 18th season in the NBA, says he will probably retire if the Clippers win the championship. So wonder where Pierce hopes to play in 2016-17?

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Pete Rose met with Rob Manfred yesterday and the MLB commissioner reportedly told baseball’s all-time hits leader he will make a decision on reinstatement by the end of the year. Hope Rose didn’t ask “Can you give me odds on that?”

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A baby boy was born at Petco Field during the third inning of Thursday night’s Padres-Giants game. This would never have happened in Los Angeles, in the third inning Dodgers fans are still in the car on the way to the stadium.

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Donald Trump said at the Value Voters Summit “I brought my Bible. You know, it’s the First Presbyterian Church, Jamaica (Queens) and this was written by my mother, with my name, with my address, with everything.”
He didn’t add, “and maybe someday I’ll read beyond the inscription.”

Former Astros star Lance Berkman in a radio ad against the “Houston Equal Rights Ordinance,” which provides protection for LGBTs. “I played professional baseball for 15 years, but family is more important. My wife and I have four daughters. Proposition 1, the bathroom ordinance, would allow troubled men to enter women’s public bathrooms, showers and locker rooms….”
Right, as opposed to fine upstanding heterosexual men like Ben Rothlisberger?

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Kim Davis announced she is becoming a Republican. “I’ve always been a Democrat, but the party left me.” And Democrats are thinking “Not only left but shut the door and changed the locks. Amen.”

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Flowing robes.

September 24, 2015

Pope-mania has really taken hold in the U.S. Nice to see the country so excited about an older person in a skirt who isn’t Caitlyn Jenner.

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Pope Francis’s visit and the resulting security has meant many businesses just closing for a few days. Waiting for the first GOP candidate to complain about another immigrant hurting American jobs.

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The original CSI is finally coming to an end Sunday with a 2 hour finale, after 15 years. Guess they didn’t wanted to change the title to “CSI – Assisted Living.”

After Elton John was pranked earlier this month he now got a REAL call from the Russian President. Have to wonder if the singer’s initial response this time was. “Are you Putin me on?”

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The NBA has promised that for next year’s Finals, they will mandate at least two days between games any time teams have to change cities. So expect the 2016 champion to be crowned about the 4th of July.

They’re expecting gridlock in Manhattan because of the Pope’s visit. Or as New Yorkers call it, Friday.

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Supreme Court judges Scalia, Alito and Thomas skipped the Pope’s address to Congress. Well, it’s not like they are Catholic or anything. Oops, never mind….

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Tom Brady’s jersey is the number one seller in the NFL this year. That’s really going to inflate his ego.

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For the first time in a decade, the number of children in foster care in the U.S has risen, and is now over 415,000. You’d think maybe just a few of these “pro-life” types would spend time and money on trying to help them….

Republicans are so sure they will hold Congress and win the White House in 2016, wouldn’t you think that they’d maybe ease up on this minority-shutting-down-the-government concept, so as not to give Democrats ideas?

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In Texas, with the case where two football players attacked a referee, the University Interscholastic League, which is in charge of high school sports, says they are not making any decisions about punishments at least until they can hold another hearing next month.

Sounds like they learned their concept of swift justice from the NFL.

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Bill Littlejohn.  “An extra point kicked by Midland Lee High School (TX) bounced off of a referee’s head and went through the uprights.  So was the ref any relation to Jose Canseco?”

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Artificial intelligence.

September 23, 2015

Martin Shkreli, who announced plans to raise the price of an AIDS drug from $13,50 to $750 a pill, is CEO of Turing Technologies.  Not sure how he named the company, but oddly enough, the “Turing test” is a test of a machine’s ability to exhibit intelligent behavior equivalent to, or indistinguishable from, that of a human.

Shkreli failed.

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The CEO of Volkswagen has resigned. Guessing soon he’ll have the rare opportunity to be making license plates for his own cars.

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A DC man has started a Change.org petition “Dear Pope Francis. Our Metro system is having some troubles. All of DC would be grateful if you could find the time to bless it during your upcoming stay. Maybe a Papal Blessing is just what it needs.”

Hmm, any chance he could also have the Pope bless Congress?

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The Blue Jays won tonight to push their AL East lead over the Yankees to 3.5 game. So how long until some GOP candidate blames a potential Toronto win on Obama’s failure to maintain American supremacy?

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Anne Hathaway says now that it was hard to be taken seriously as an actress after “The Princess Diaries.” Just thinking she’s not going to get too much sympathy from her co-star Julie Andrews.

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Donald Trump says Fox News has been treating him “very unfairly”, and he’s done appearing on Fox News shows for the “foreseeable future.” Well, to be fair, the Donald is really a better fit for Comedy Central.

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Mike Huckabee said today that President Obama is just “pretending to be a Christian. I’m thinking at this point that Huckabee is just pretending to be a plausible human being.

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Now it’s ‪#‎Adrianza‬ who joins ‪#‎Belt‬ and ‪#‎Aoki‬ on the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ concussion list. Who expected ‪#‎Giants‬ to have more concussions than ‪#‎49ers‬?

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Well, at this point if the ‪#‎SFGIants‬ ended up in the post season they probably couldn’t field a healthy 25 man roster.

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The SF Chronicle is reporting that the SF Board of Supervisors is about to pass an ordinance that would make “strict enforcement of stop signs for cyclists the lowest priority for the SFPD”
And many cyclists in San Francisco are thinking “What stop signs?”

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QB Colin Kaepernick, praising new SF coach Tomsula, says that this year is “a comfort zone for me. It’s a situation where I’m not being asked to do things outside of my character.”
Because Jim is a nice guy, or because the 49ers have designs on drafting high enough to get Jared Goff?

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A terminal in Amsterdam’s Schiphol airport was evacuated over what turned out to be an iPhone in a gun shaped case. Not sure what the owner of the phone will be charged with, but assume included will be felony criminal stupidity.

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R.I.P Yogi Berra. Nobody goes to heaven anymore, it’s too crowded.

Another sad thing for some about the death of ‪#‎YogiBerra‬. We can probably retire the phrase “Beloved ‪#‎Yankee‬.”

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When all else fails, RTDT – read the damn thing.

September 22, 2015

Mike Huckabee’s latest complaint – “there are people who vote and they have no idea what our Constitution says.”
With all due respect, Mr. Huckabee, there are people who run for office and they have no idea what our Constitution says.” ‪#‎nottheOnion‬ ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

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Got to love it, ESPN figures the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ have 0.1% probability of making the post season this year. “So you are saying there’s a chance?”

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The #NYJets are 2-0. If their hot start continues with Ryan Fitzpatrick at QB do they vote former Jet IK Enemkpali a playoff share? (for those who might have forgotten, or who didn’t care, Enemkpali, now with the Bills, is the guy who broke his then quarterback/ teammate, Geno Smith’s jaw with a punch.)
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An Auburn football fan called into an Alabama sports talk show and said she won’t let her husband into the bedroom until the Tigers win.. Men whose wives and girlfriends root for the Philadelphia Eagles hope those women don’t see this.

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The NY Post is reporting on a woman who not only fasts on Yom Kippur, she also makes her two dogs fast too. It works out fine, except that every year they need to buy another cat.

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Some say Marco Rubio might benefit from Scott Walker’s exiting the 2016 Presidential race. Is that because for those paying only casual attention the two look sort of alike?

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Turing Pharmaceuticals CEO Martin Shkreli, who said he was raising the price for AIDS drug Daraprim from $13.50 a pill to $750, now says public backlash will mean he will lower the price. What, to $749?

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The Lammily line of dolls now offers a ‘Period Party’ Accessory Pac,” which includes pads, underwear and a period calendar.. The idea is to help girls understand that menstruation is a normal part of of growing up.
Can only imagine what a similar line of dolls for boys might include.

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The CEO of Japanese company Rakuten has changed his executive offsite retreat to climbing Mount Tanigawa every year, a Japanese mountain that has claimed over 800 lives since it was first explored in the 1930s, about 600 more than Everest.
Well, that’s one way to avoid soaring pension costs.

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Carly Fiorina, facing many accusations of completely making up her worst allegations about the Planned Parenthood video, said she was told “that the tapes don’t exist, that the images aren’t real. Well yes, ladies and gentlemen, they are real and I will issue my charge again.”
You would think that someone who bases a large part of her campaign on the purported dishonesty of Hillary Clinton would consider doing the simple thing – and just release these “real” tapes.

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Kim Davis says she is ready to return to jail over her beliefs. Forget jail, when is the next Rowan County election? So we can replace Davis with someone who actually wants to do her job. ‪#‎your15minutesareup‬

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Liberal rant time. Some in the GOP are accusing those of us who don’t want the country run by biblical rules of being anti-religion. Nope, it’s actually quite simple: Doesn’t matter what religion you are, just don’t foist your beliefs on the entire country.

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Sinister thoughts

September 21, 2015

In an Oklahoma school, a pre-K student was allegedly forced to write with his right hand and sent home with a note about the “evil” of being left-handed. Waiting for Mike Huckabee or someone to make this about Christianity and religious freedom.

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Mike Huckabee and some other conservatives ARE upset that, among the 15,000 people Obama has invited to an event for Pope Francis, are a handful of LGBT Catholics and even pro-choice Catholics.

You know who isn’t upset about their inclusion? The Pope.

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A tourist died and another broke his leg when they fell down a staircase taking selfies at the Taj Mahal. If Darwin were alive he might have to revise his book to add a whole chapter on selfie-sticks.

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If we could just create a combination gun and selfie-stick, we could cull the herd a lot faster.

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Scott Walker is dropping out of the Presidential race. So bad news, Wisconsin, for the next few years you’re stuck with him.

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When the Seahawks beat the Packers in the 2015 NFC Championship, Russell WIlson credited God. And Aaron Rodgers said he didn’t think God “cares a whole lot about the outcome.” But after last night’s Packers win, Rodgers said ” I think God was a Packers fan tonight, so he was taking care of us.”
You never know.. Hey, maybe Jesus had money on Green Bay.

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Scott Walker said Monday he was “called” to drop out of the race. And God said “Wasn’t me, I was watching the Packers-Seahawks.”

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A Georgia peanut executive was sentenced to 28 years in prison today for knowingly shipping salmonella-tainted peanut butter, which resulted in hundreds of people getting sick, and at least nine deaths. Wouldn’t it be more appropriate just to sentence him to eating his own peanut butter.

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SNL‬ has picked  Taran Killi‪am to play ‪Donald Trump. But who’s going to play that furry thing that lives on Trump’s head?

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After a Vikings fan was beaten after the first game at Levi’s, two Santa Clara City Council members have suggested that the city ban alcohol from the stadium. And 49ers fans are screaming, “Ban booze? Did you see the team against the Steelers, how else are we going to get through the rest of the season?”

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Both Ted Cruz AND Hillary Clinton rebuked Ben Carson’s comment on a Muslim president by invoking the Constitution

So Clinton and Cruz agree. Now which of them will be the first to have a campaign event with flying pigs?

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And here, for Dr. Ben Carson, since civics was clearly not required for your medical school education. The U.S. Constitution, Article VI: “The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the Members of the several State Legislatures, and all executive and judicial Officers, both of the United States and of the several States, shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States.”

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Bus to Hell time:  Monday, Sept 21 is World Alzheimer’s Day. Awful disease, but at least you can use the same greeting card every year.

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The NFL keeps talking about wanting to reduce injuries. Here’s a simple way to cut them down drastically: Any player who receives a penalty for a play that injures another has to sit until that injured player returns. Up to and including missing the rest of the season.

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We some of the people?

September 20, 2015

Ben Carson said he doesn’t think a Muslim should ever be President, because the religion isn’t “consistent with the constitution.” Well, actually, Dr. Carson, expecting Americans to follow ANY religion isn’t consistent with the constitution.

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Okay, who had both ‪#‎Stanford‬ & the ‪#‎Raiders‬ winning this weekend in football? Now all of you liars put your hands down.

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Right about now ‪#‎JohnHarbaugh‬ has to be thinking of calling brother ‪#‎jimharbaugh‬ & asking how to join the college coaching ranks. ‪#‎BALvsOak‬

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Marco Rubio on Obama “He’s born in the United States. He’s a Christian. He’s the president of the United States for the next year and a half and we’re going to move on.” Uh oh, if Rubio doesn’t watch out he’s going to lose that all important crazy vote.

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Hillary Clinton is now saying she’s a “real person,”  who can “talk about anything and everything – from the Kardashians to wonky climate change policy.”

Were those the best choices.  While the overlap between the two groups is small, a lot of Americans don’t believe in at least one of those examples.

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So after beating ‪#‎NIU‬ by 7, ‪#‎OhioState‬ strengthens their hold on #1 in ‪#‎APTop25‬. Shouldn’t the Huskies thus be at least in top 20?

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An Alabama wide receiver tweeted “For the second straight year, we will be in the college football playoff and Ole Miss won’t. Bama isn’t going anywhere.” Uh, AFTER Ole Miss won. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬ ‪#‎cantdomatheither‬

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The NY Post reports that New York City custodians took home an average pay of $109,467 in the 2013-14 school year. That’s almost enough to afford a studio apartment in Manhattan.

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Scary that this year it looks like the ‪#‎NYJets‬ might be the less dysfunctional NFL team in New York? ‪#‎NYGiants‬

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Now some conservatives are claiming that Ahmed Mohamed really didn’t build a block and it was all a fraud to get attention, or worse, a “dry run” for a Muslim kid bringing a bomb to school. Sigh.
The boy would have been fine if he had just acted like a real Texan and built a gun

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Chris Christie, a Catholic, today on Pope Francis saying the U.S. and Cuba should restore relations: “I just think the pope is wrong. The fact is that his infallibility is on religious matters, not on political ones.”

Uh, wait, for the GOP aren’t religion and politics supposed to be the same thing?

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Any given Saturday?

September 19, 2015

Stanford’s road to the Royal Purple Las Vegas Bowl might have hit a  speed bump tonight.

‪#‎Fearthetree‬ ‪#‎Nerdnation‬ ‪#‎GoStanford‬. “Saw this coming” said NOBODY. ‪#‎STANvsUSC‬

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Headline you didn’t expect to see- “Ohio State holds off Northern Illinois, 20-13.” Sounds like the Buckeyes’ players took this game about as seriously as they take their classes.

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Notre Dame won today but safety Drue Tranquill injured his right knee chest-bumping a teammate after breaking up a pass in the first half. So Touchdown Jesus may be backing the Fighting Irish, but Mean Bitch Karma still doesn’t like showboating.

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Author Jackie Collins has passed away at 77. And millions of women are thinking, “How sad.” Millions of men are going “Who?”

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Marshawn Lynch filmed an entire Pepsi ad without speaking. Out of habit Roger Goodell fined him.

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In New York City, authorities have closed a child-care center after staff members were accused of accidentally leaving a 2-year-old-boy at a playground. Apparently they just miscounted the children. Yeah, who really needs math anyway?

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Donald Trump just released a policy paper saying he wants to end bans on certain gun types, and that he supports nationwide concealed carry permits. Fine. Can the Donald start by allowing concealed carry at all his campaign events?

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A 91-year-old Florida man, Max Horton, was arrested for allegedly shooting at his neighbors’ landscapers because they got lawn clippings on his caregivers car. In 2013, he was accused of threatening Florida Hospital staffers, telling them he had a gun in his car and they’d be sorry if he went to get it. And this time police said, while being taken to jail, Horton also allegedly threatened to get “payback” on his neighbors.
Thinking this is not what our forefathers meant by a well-regulated militia

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Guess Sarah Palin couldn’t let her daughter have all the headlines, so she too is ranting over Ahmed Mohamed, saying the boy is an “obstinate-answering student” (say what?) , and that his device “obviously could be seen by conscientious teachers as a dangerous wired-up bomb-looking contraption.” Adding “Right, if that’s a clock, I’m the Queen of England.”
So in addition to everything else Sarah has delusions of royalty?

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Trump says “I am not morally obligated” to correct a man who claimed Obama was a Muslim. Uh, Trump was correct after the first 11 letters.

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A shocking upset in the rugby World Cup, as Japan upset South Africa. Shocking the Japanese especially. “We have a rugby team?

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A new iiPhone app will tell users how much time they have wasted playing games and checking social media. So will the app also have the ability to check how much time you waste checking it?

 –

My friend Owen Byrd shares this tweet from @JaymayAllDay – ‪#‎wishIhadsaidthis‬ : “If Carly Fiorina really wants to destroy Planned Parenthood, she should become its CEO.”

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Low scores

September 19, 2015

The EPA has accused Volkswagen of installing a “defeat device” in 482,000 cars sold in the U.S to trick regulators and evade federal emission regulations.

So, the question, is Volkswagen just the nastiest, most dishonest car maker? Or have other companies just installed better software and not gotten caught?

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In Costa Rica last weekend, authorities say a mob of tourists, many with selfie sticks, crowded a beach and prevented sea turtles from laying their eggs along the Pacific Coast. Where is a good tsunami when you REALLY need one?

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Tiger Woods just announced he had another back surgery and won’t return until 2016. “This is unfortunate, but these things happen. I’ve been injured before and played again. It won’t be any different this time.”
So that means plenty more optimism and hype, then a lot more missed cuts?

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Donald Trump has cancelled a South Carolina appearance because. according to an email from his campaign – “Mr. Trump has a significant business transaction that was expected to close Thursday.”

I can see it now, that 3am phone call – “Sorry, President Trump is asleep because he has something important to do in the morning.”

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A study of the brains of 91 deceased NFL players showed 87 of them tested positive for CTE brain disease. Maybe we haven’t come as far as we thought from Christians vs. Lions.

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John Kasich, at a lunch for a group trying to attract more Hispanic voters:
“I look at our friends in the Latino community as people that ought to be voting Republican. … They are great, caring, hardworking folks. And a lot of them do jobs that, that they’re willing to do. That’s why in the hotel you leave a little tip, you know?”
Beginning to see why the Ohio governor keeps his mouth largely shut during the debates…..

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Here we go again: Bristol Palin wrote about the President inviting teen clock maker Ahmed Mohamed to the White House. “This is the kind of stuff Obama needs to STAY out of. This encourages more racial strife that is already going on with the “Black Lives Matter” crowd and encourages victimhood.”

Right, as opposed to when GOP candidates issue invitations and heap praise on, say Kim Davis.

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Numbers game?

September 17, 2015

We don’t need no stinkin’ DH.  #SFGiants

powers

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Leaving aside the illegality of it, does Jeb Bush’s response of “Maggie Thatcher” for a woman to be on the $10 bill mean he can’t think of ONE worthy American woman? ‪#‎andhessupposedtobethesmartone

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Jeb Bush tonight admitted to smoking marijuana 40 years ago, “other people might have done it but may not want to say it in front of 25 million people. My mom’s not happy that I just did.” Wow. Jeb smoked pot. And somewhere Barbara is thinking of his brother and just giggling.

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Over 22 million people tuned into CNN’s debate last night. Well, if all it takes is an outspoken entertainer as part of the show to get people’s attention, can we include Jon Stewart or Bill Maher in the Democratic debate?

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My friend Michael Powers noted this quote from Marco Rubio during the GOP debate: “These problems cannot be solved by intellect.”

Well, then that’s not an issue for most anyone who was on that stage.

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Apparently Kobe Bryant’s torn rotator cuff has healed enough so that he has been cleared to participate in basketball activities. Well, and it’s not like he’ll need to use the shoulder to pass or anything.

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American Airlines had a “technical issue” today that halted flights for about an hour at DFW, Miami, and O’Hare., their three main hubs.
How come it’s a “technical issue” when they have a problem, and at least a $200 change fee when YOU have a problem?

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Bengals kicker Mike Nugent is upset about the NFL making the PAT attempt longer.: “I don’t like the rule because — I could be wrong — but I don’t know of any rules that have been changed to make guys fail more.”

Well, two things. 1. Making “guys fail more” IS exactly the point. 2. Any rules, well, let’s start with lowering the MLB mound in 1969. And then there’s moving the kickoff, and the goalposts, and, well, I am sure my friends and readers have a long list.

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Anthony Weiner has lost his job he started in July at that fancy PR firm. So congrats to all those who had Sept 16 in the pool.
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Ann Coulter is facing more than the usual bipartisan criticism after she tweeted during the GOP debate “How many f–ing Jews do these people think there are in the United States?” Maybe she forgot that one of those Jews is Sheldon Adelson?

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Defensive lineman Jonathan Taylor has been dismissed from both Alabama and Georgia for a total of three arrests, two for domestic violence, Now Taylor has enrolled at Southeastern Louisiana and joined the football team. Well, a guy’s got to do something before he joins the NFL.

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The Coolidge, AZ, City Council voted Monday to allow prayers before council meetings, including a stipulation that they be Christian. Where are the GOP defenders of freedom of religion on this one?

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Pitcher Mat ‪#‎Latos‬ made much of hating ‪#‎SF‬. Can’t wait to hear what he says about LA, now that the ‪#‎Dodgers‬ have DFA’ed him.

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Unreality TV

September 16, 2015
Tonight was the second GOP debate. Otherwise known as “Dancing with the Questions.”
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Joe Biden says that Donald Trump has a “sick” message, and is “appealing to the baser side of human nature, working on this notion of xenophobia in a way that hasn’t occurred in a long time.”
Wonder how many Trump supporters are thinking “What’s xenophobia? Trump’s just against all these damn foreigners.”
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Lots of candidate talk about Ronald Reagan. Not much talk about Reagan’s tax hikes, increased budget deficit, and signing an immigration act in 1986 that which granted amnesty to almost 3 million undocumented immigrants. Am sure it’s just coincidence. ‪#‎GOPdebate

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All these candidates who want to defund ‪#‎PlannedParenthood‬ and talk about family planning alternatives. Would one of them like to name one such alternative. And their plan to fund welfare for children born from unplanned pregnancies?
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All this discussion of “judicial tyranny” with the Supreme Court on the subject of gay marriage. Where were all these clowns when the Supreme Court declared George W. Bush President?
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Donald Trump on tonight’s debate: ‘I think I could tone it down a little”: Right, he could, but he didn’t..

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Donald Trump during the debate – I was for a flat tax before I was against it. I was for the rich paying more before I was against it. This is so confusing.
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Carly Fiorina goes back to the marijuana gateway drug line. Cue ‪#‎DemonSheep‬.  Cue ‪#‎ReeferMadness  ‬ ‪#‎GOPDebate‬

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Jeb Bush – ‬ “My brother kept us safe.” Well, except for that little 9/11 thing. ‪#‎GOPDebate‬

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Lindsey Graham says it doesn’t make sense to deport millions of undocumented immigrants, but they should learn to speak English. Well sure, but so should millions of people born in the U.S.

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I’d take these GOP candidates calling for war with Iran more seriously if they’d call for a draft to get people to fight it, and a way to pay for it.

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The NFL has granted permission for New England clubhouse attendants John Jastremski and Jim McNally, who were suspended over Deflategate, to return, and the Patriots will reinstate them.
So yeah, guess those footballs were so in awe of Brady’s brilliance that they just deflated themselves.

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More debate.  A real question “If you’re elected President, how would the world look different after you lead office?”  Waiting for the honest answer from someone: “Well, Hell would host an awesome Winter Olympics.” ‪#‎GOPdebate‬

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Rutgers football coach Kyle Flood has been suspended three games and fined $50,000 for allegedly emailing a lecturer inquiring about a grade for one of his potentially failing players. What Flood is really being suspended and fined for? A). being too stupid to have one of his staff do the the dirty work, and B) putting it in an email..

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A post-debate thought. Talking about the general election Chris Christie said he would prosecute “Mrs. Clinton in those debates.” That is, if Christie is not defending himself in a courtroom over the backroom deals that led to the resignation of the CEO of United Airlines.

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#‎Peavy‬ gets his first home run of the year. 9th for ‪#‎SFGiants‬ pitchers in 2015. One behind Pablo Sandoval. ‪#‎byebyebaby‬

#‎ChrisHeston‬ and ‪#‎MattCain‬ do not have home runs for the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ this year yet. Time to get them some ABs.

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Amazing story about the Muslim student who was accused of building a bomb when he had only built a clock. Have to wonder these days how many students can even read a clock?

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In a few cities, 7-11 is offering delivery service of a “Date Night Pack”, which includes ice cream, candy, Red Bull and condoms. Thinking if your idea of a Date Night is 7-11, you’re not likely to need the pack.

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Actor Stephen Rannazzisi, who said he escaped from the World Trade Center on 9-11 and then quit his desk job to become a comedian, now says he made the story up. Stand by for his interview with Brian Williams.

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The ‪#‎SFGiants‬ are on a mission to singlehandedly destroy the DH. Now Madison Bumgarner was the first pitcher ever to reach base against Aroldis Chapman. But the Reds’ closer had gotten to an 0-2 count vs. 57 hitters this year. He struck out 41 of them, and none of them walked. Until Madbum.

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Shut up and eat your soup?

September 16, 2015

Marshawn Lynch’s mom has posted on Facebook that she thinks the Seahawks offensive coordination is “the worst play caller ever, ” and should be fired. Maybe beginning to see why Lynch keeps his mouth shut.

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In a game where the entire #SFGiants bullpen seemed to be trying to outdo each other with a sucking contest, the Giants did come back, twice, from being 3 runs down.  #Rallyskeeter.  Almost a win. But they can’t say “We’re going to need a bigger cat.”

rallyskeeter

So a PAC supporting Jeb Bush has released a video touting Bush’s optimism about America, which features a sun rising in a field, with the message  “choose a brighter path.”  Nice. Except the field is in Cornwall, England.  The video is titled  “Bright.” #andjebissupposedtobethebrightone.

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The FDA has banned sales of four cigarette brands from R.J. Reynolds for not meeting safety review requirements. Shocking. Cigarettes HAVE safety requirements?:

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North Korea is now threatening the US with nuclear attack, saying they are ready to use weapons “at any time.” So assume there’s a Playstation involved?

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A just released video from last night video shows three SF 49ers fans beating a Minnesota Vikings fan outside Levi’s. So much for those who thought the Candlestick crowd wouldn’t make it down to the new stadium.

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Carly Fiorina cut 30,000 jobs when she was at HP. Current CEO Meg Whitman has cut 55,000 and now may cut another 30,000 more. Is Meg trying to make her fellow Republican look good by comparison?

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The University of Texas has fired their athletic director. The real reason can be explained in four words: the football team sucks.

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Gary Busey has endorsed Donald Trump for President. Thinking the Donald probably already had 98% of the people who are crazy enough to care about Busey’s endorsement.

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Marco Rubio started at Tarkio College in Missouri on a football scholarship, then went to Santa Fe Community College, then finally ended up at the University of Florida for his bachelor’s degree. Yesterday he said in Iowa, “Look, I don’t have anything against Florida State. I think there has to be a school where people who can’t get into Florida can go to college.”

Is Rubio trying to prove he’s enough of an overgrown frat boy to be Trump’s running mate?

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Bobby Jindal’s latest – ” Donald Trump is a madman who must be stopped,” Almost makes you wish Jindal was at the grown ups table for the prime-time debate tomorrow, just to see him and the Donald face off.,

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A new Korean study found that antibacterial soaps are no more effective than plain soap at killing germs, as the active ingredient only makes a difference after 9 hours.
Let’s hope OCD folks don’t see this and make 9 hours a goal.

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Mistakes were made…..

September 15, 2015

The Falcons beat the Eagles in the NFL first weekend of MNF. Over-under on how long it will take Philadelphia fans to scream for Tebow?

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Wow. In Maryland, as part of a dare, a 13-year-old middle-school boy allegedly grabbed a 14-year-old girl’s shirt and kissed her last week. He has been charged as a juvenile with second-degree assault. ‪#‎ifonlyshewasarmed‬

If “Spin the Bottle” is outlawed, will only outlaws play “Spin the Bottle?”

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Kim Davis is back at work in Kentucky, not issuing gay marriage licenses, but allowing her deputy clerk to issue them. She said “I don’t want to have this conflict. I don’t want to be in the spotlight….”

Uh, if true, Ms. Davis, you could have had a clerk issue them for you weeks ago.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger will apparently take over for Donald Trump with “Celebrity Apprentice.” Well, at least if ratings plummet again we know THIS host won’t run for President.

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Now Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban is thinking about running for President,saying in an email to CNBC “If I ran as a Dem, I know I could beat Hillary Clinton. And if it was me vs. Trump, I would crush him. No doubt about it.”

If this keeps up, the 2016 race could put the Onion out of business. ‪#‎whythereisnosatire‬

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So are the ‪#‎SF49ers‬ better than expected? Or does it just mean that mean bitch Karma was thinking the ‪#‎Vikings‬ shouldn’t have resigned Adrian Peterson?

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Sunday night against the Cowboys, apparently Eli Manning forgot how many time outs were left and told his team not to score. So the NY Giants QB could count his way up to $84 million on his contract but not up to three on the field?

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Miss Alabama, Meg McGuffin, was asked Sunday night about Donald Trump: “I think (he) is an entertainer. And I think he says what’s on a lot of people’s minds but I think that the Republican party should be absolutely terrified of all the attention that he is taking from incredible candidates like Jeb Bush and Chris Christie who could absolutely do the job of president of the United States. And if I were a Republican, I would absolutely be terrified of that. Thank you.”

Well, she didn’t win the pageant but maybe some candidate should hire Ms. McGuffin as a consultant.

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American Airlines is now apologizing for sending a plane to Hawaii that wasn’t certified to fly over water. But will they charge themselves a change fee?

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Dude, where’s my plane.

September 13, 2015

American Airlines admitted they accidentally put the wrong planet on a Los Angeles – Honolulu flight.  It was a similar Airbus to the correct aircraft, but the model that flew Aug 31 was not certified to fly over the Pacific. Oops.  The mistake was noticed mid-air, the plane continued to Hawaii, but flew back empty of passengers.

Would have been more understandable maybe if the plane mix-up happened out of a state with legalized marijuana?

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In Denver, a popular park and trail,, which is currently home to many foraging bears and their cubs, has been closed for two weeks because of too many people trying to take selfies with the animals.

Really?! Can’t we just open it again with the goal of culling the herd?  #cantfixstupid

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A 29 year old man is in jail for possession of cocaine with intent to sell after he mistakenly started a weeks-long texting conversation with a police captain about drugs instead of his dealer. Do I even have to say this was Florida?

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Drug experts say the number of meth labs in the Midwest is decreasing, but the void is being filled with an influx of cheap Mexican imports, according to experts. Waiting for GOP candidates to trump this as yet another example of immigrants taking high-paying American jobs.

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Floyd Mayweather says after last night’s fight that he is retired. Maybe because after the last two lackluster fights, it’s unlikely that he’ll be offered millions rea$on$ to change his mind.

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Vanessa Williams returned to Miss America as head judge Sunday night. Williams had won in 1984, then resigned after nude pictures of her were published in Penthouse. And these days people are thinking “naked photos in a magazine, how quaint.”

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A small Alabama town is considering banning saggy pants, miniskirts and short shorts in public. Is that really necessary? A possible ban on spandex at Disney World…. now we’re talking.

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#‎Trump‬ continues personal insults to every other GOP candidate. Has he realized if he gets the nomination he does need a running mate?

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Two of the Rams, Chargers and Raiders may end up in Los Angeles. Today Oakland played as if their defense against such a move was being a team no other city wants.

Raiders Coach Jack Del Rio  “At some point you’ve just got to start playing good football.”   And Redskins fans are just giggling.

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#‎SFGiants‬ probably won’t make the playoffs. But betting they’re now glad they didn’t give away the store for Johnny ‪#‎Cueto‬.

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Even though the number of police who have been shot is actually down 26% this year, Scott Walker is blaming President Obama: “I think his absence of leadership… not speaking out about this rhetoric out there…” has contributed to police being killed.
Just wondering, why don’t Walker, and others, blame an absence of leadership from say, gun rights activists and conservatives, in contributing to hate crimes against minorities?

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Qualified?

September 12, 2015

Apparently Nobel Peace Prize winner Malala Yousafzai has to take SATs before she applies to U.S. colleges. Well, duh, not like Malala is something important like a football or basketball player.

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Donald Trump is unhappy about Ben Carson questioning his “fear of the Lord,” and said “you don’t hit a person on faith.” Uh, okay, would the Donald like to tell that to his supporters? A recent PPP poll found 66% of respondents who support Trump believe that Obama is Muslim.

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It’s been since 1993 since a Canadian team won the NHL Stanley Cup. And since a Canadian team won the World Series. Who’d a thunk that the most likely drought to be over soon would be in baseball? ‪#‎BlueJays‬

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There were chants of USA! USA! USA! during game one of the Yankee-Blue Jays doubleheader at Yankee Stadium. Maybe Toronto’s sweep was karma’s way of saying “Stay classy, New York.”

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Sadly fitting. Nationals reliever Drew Storen ended his season by breaking his thumb slamming his locker in frustration after a loss Wednesday. Washington season-ticket holders have to wish they had the same option.

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Wait a minute. Jacksonville State isn’t even in Florida but in Alabama? This geography stuff is so confusing. ‪#‎JaxState‬ ‪#‎Auburn‬

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Apparently Aldon Smith turned down more money from other teams to stay in the SF Bay Area with the Raiders. Because Smith is already on a first name basis with most of the local police?

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Do they award Darwin awards to businesses? If so, Zales Jewelers just locked up the award for the year. With a 9/11 sale. No joke. And they even instead of “Remember, Rebuild, Renew” used “Renew, Reset, Restyle” on their brochures. ‪ #‎youreallycannotmakethisstuffup‬

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Now departed United Airlines CEO Jeff Smisek has a golden parachute of that could top $20 million, including $5 million in cash. Along with free first class travel for life on United. Too late to start a petition to United to demand he fly coach?

Can we at least hope all flight attendants recognize him and give Smisek the fine service he so richly deserves?

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A Catholic woman wanted Office Depot to print 500 copies of an anti-abortion flier that talked about the “evil that has been exposed in Planned Parenthood and in the entire abortion industry.” They refused and invited her to use the self-serve copy machines.
Now she’s claiming religious discrimination. Once again, it’s only discrimination when they disagree with YOUR religion

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Stanford-UCF started at 730p Pacific Time. 1030pm Eastern. Forget the fact that the Golden Knights were probably tired, we’re talking University of Central FLORIDA. Figure most of the UCF alums were in bed by kick off.

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Apparently Jason Pierre-Paul’s injury in a fireworks accident is worse than originally thought. The NY Giants’ DE lost not only his right index finger, but also fractured his thumb, needed skin grafts and is missing part of another finger. And he may be out for the entire season, or more. So not only ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬, you can’t always surgically repair it either.

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Guess he didn’t get a rose?

September 11, 2015

Texas Governor Rick Perry has dropped out of the 2016 Presidential Race. Thereby shocking millions of Americans who didn’t realize he was still in it.

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Steelers coach Mike Tomlin was upset about only being able to hear the Patriots radio broadcast over the team’s headsets. The NFL said New England was not to blame. Lather, rinse, repeat. ‪#‎thePatriotscandonowrong‬

Pittsburgh thought about filing a formal complaint then backed down.  Perhaps because they figured it would just get a couple New England clubhouse attendants fired, or perhaps because they figured the NFL would just fine them for annoying the Patriots.

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A Virginia woman was arrested for having sex with her unconscious boyfriend in a parking lot in broad daylight. She claims it was a combination of alcohol and being “in the mood.” And considering he was unconscious, maybe some seriously good Viagra?

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U.C. Berkeley, in their estimated costs to students, says the cost for rent off-campus is $7184 for the academic year. Of course what they don’t say is that the figure means living about 100 miles off campus.

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MLB suspended Joey Votto, 32, two games for his major tantrum Wednesday when the Reds first baseman was denied a time out. He’s appealing the suspension. But. hey, a tantrum?  Maybe Votto should just think of it as a time out.

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Now Gregor ‪#‎Blanco‬ has been diagnosed with a concussion. The 2015 ‪#‎SFGiants‬ at this point don’t need a trainer, they need a witch doctor.

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Meanwhile,Jake ‪#‎Peavy‬ and the Sacramento ‪#‎RiverCats‬ had a really good night against the ‪#‎Padres‬ ‪#‎SFGiants‬

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The Phillies have dismissed GM Ruben Amaro Jr.: Five words: What took them so long?

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Donald Trump now says his insults, this time directed at Carly Fiorina, were made “as an entertainer, because I did the ‘Apprentice.'” So maybe Trump thinks this whole campaign is his new show – “Political Apprentice”?

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Regarding all this controversy on Trump’s purported jab at Carly Fiorina’s looks, guess Carly and her supporters have forgotten her off-mike comment in 2010 about her rival Barbara Boxer – “God what is that hair?’ So yesterday!’

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So amongst the various over-under bets on opening week of the ‪#‎NFL‬ season can you make an over-under on player arrests? ‪#‎NFLKickoff‬

So Aldon Smith, one of the the best pass rushers in the NFL, who’s been arrested 5 times in 3 years, was signed today by the Oakland Raiders. Is anyone surprised?

If Ray Rice hadn’t lost a few steps as an RB he’d surely have offers. Heck, of O.J. Simpson were still a Pro-Bowler HE’D have offers.

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Serious bus to hell time, but hey, if we stop laughing the bad guys win.    And this one could alas be true::

On this awful anniversary of September 11, have to wonder how many more deaths there would have been had it happened now…. as hundreds of people running away from the collapsing towers would have stopped to take selfies.

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