Author Archive
September 16, 2016
And regarding Trump’s claim that he would be the “healthiest” President ever…. who but me would love Obama to challenge him to a game of pickup basketball?
Psychologists say that intermittent reinforcement is the best way to keep rats and people blindly doing what they were doing. Hence, the #SFGiants with their 2016 roller-coaster are keeping and creating fans for life,
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In North Carolina, GOP spokeswoman Kami Mueller decried the NCAA’s decision to move championship games from the state. “Under the NCAA’s logic, colleges should make cheerleaders and football players share bathrooms, showers and hotel rooms.”
And a lot of football players are going “I’m in.”
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The University of Arizona football team has dismissed RB Orlando Bradford after he was arrested and charged with 7 felony counts following an alleged domestic violence incident. Bradford was the team’s #2 running back last season. Too soon to start a pool on which ACC or SEC team will decide he deserves a second chance?
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The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission today recalled Samsung Galaxy Note 7 smartphones. Will they claim the decision was made with flaming speed?
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Wells Fargo is blaming their whole fraudulent account scheme on “staff.”. I think I like “pushed into a lifeboat” better.
A man in New York City who was unhappy about his car being “booted” was shot today after he allegedly attacked an off-duty cop with a meat cleaver, #Ifonlyhewasarmed
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MLB suspended Padres GM A.J. Preller for 30 days after ESPN reported the team was keeping two separate files of medical information on their players: one for industry consumption and the other for the Padres’ internal use.
Hmm, maybe for those 30 days Preller will be offered a position with a presidential campaign.
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Rev. Faith Green Timmons, of the Bethel United Methodist Church, interrupting the Donald today in the midst of an attack on Hillary Clinton. “Mr. Trump, I invited you here to thank us for what we’ve done in Flint, not give a political speech,”
Hmm, Rev. Timmons has more cojones than Matt Lauer.
Donald Trump has promised he would return the economy to the days of 4% growth. Hmm, the last time we had 4% growth, a Clinton was in the White House.
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The CDC announced today that kissing chickens is bad for your health. Hope that didn’t upset too many people’s weekend plans.
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WTF moment of the day. Trump asked if he now believes President Obama was born in the US ““I’ll answer that question at the right time. I just don’t want to answer it yet.”
Because he doesn’t want to lose the votes of his birther supporters?
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Ivanka Trump accused an interviewer of “too much negativity” and cut the interview short after she was reminded of a comment of her father’s in 2004, that pregnancy is “a wonderful thing for the woman, it’s a wonderful thing for the husband, it’s certainly an inconvenience for a business.”
Sounds like the skin on the apple is as thin as the bark on the tree she fell not very far from.
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From Bill Littlejohn “A report is that Ronaldo has more social media followers than anyone in the world but Taylor Swift. “Social media followers?” Heck, Taylor Swift has more ex-boyfriends than Ronaldo has social media followers……
Categories: Uncategorized
Comments: 1 Comment
September 14, 2016
Steph Curry was asked as part of a longer interview who he was supporting for President. He simply answered “Hillary” and moved on. And some people are actually complaining that athletes shouldn’t get involved in politics? #Onewordistoomany? #WTF?
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Another #Padres pitcher coming in with an ERA of around 6. And of course the #SFGiants scored one run. At some point the team should charge a fee for giving all these pitchers the best outing of their careers.
If by chance the #SFGiants stagger into the playoffs, no one will accuse them of peaking too soon in September.
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Hillary Clinton had to cancel San Francisco fundraisers early this week over her pneumonia. Shame. She could have used that “basket of deplorables” line to great effect about the SF Giants bullpen.
(or in some cases, like today, their hitters.)
Major league baseball has announced their 2017 schedule, with both the Twins and Red Sox opening at home April 3. Too soon to bet on which game is most likely to be snowed out?
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Several Washington State players have been arrested this year, and coach Mike Leach, formerly at Texas Tech, is blaming the police and media for unfairly focusing on football players. Toto, we’re not in Texas any more….
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In New York, an assemblyman who fatally shot himself last week won his primary today. So voters not paying attention? Or voters deciding that a dead man could do less damage than the live alternative?
In Austria, an 18-year-old girl is suing her parents because she said the Facebook pictures they posted of her as a child have made her life miserable. Ah, for the good old days when your parents could only embarrass you with scrapbooks.
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Proving it’s not just U.S. airports and airlines who are fond of euphemisms – a travel agent bulletin says the runway at Aberdeen Airport in Scotland is currently out of service, due to a technical issue.”
The issue, they discovered an actual hole in the runway.
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Mike Pence this week refused to call David Duke “deplorable.” Just one question for Governor Pence, who WOULD he call deplorable?
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Last year, Donald Trump was listed as 6’2″ and 198 pounds. Today he told Dr. Oz he was 6’3″ and 236 pounds. Time for a congressional investigation?
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So @realDonaldTrump says he “feels as good as when I was 30.” If any 70 year-old really believes that, he’s too delusional to be President.
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Hillary Clinton today released detailed medical information. The report said she has “mild, non-contagious bacterial” pneumonia. It also has details about blood cholesterol levels, allergies, her annual mammogram, etc.
Wonder how long before Donald Trump announces again he is the very healthiest but he won’t release his records because we just wouldn’t understand.
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Donald Trump has said “I will end forever the use of the H-1B as a cheap labor program, and institute an absolute requirement to hire American workers for every visa and immigration program. No exceptions.”
Today, Melania Trump tweeted a letter from her lawyer defending her immigration status. The lawyer said Melania told him she “remained in the United States on five one-year H-1B visas before obtaining a green card,”
#Youcantmakethisstuffup
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, GOP jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, texas jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Clinton jokes, curry jokes, election jokes, facebook jokes, Janice Hough, SFGiants jokes, Trump jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
September 13, 2016
Vin Scully said today he won’t broadcast the postseason so that his last game will be the Dodgers-Giants in SF Oct. 2. So maybe he has less faith in how LA will do in the playoffs than even Giants fans.
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So it’s only one game, but wonder if #LosAngeles is thinking of suing #StLouis under the “Lemon Law.” #Rams #49ers
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Trent Dilfer said before MNF that Colin Kaepernick had caused “friction” that had “torn at the fabric of the team” by becoming the “center of attention.”
Uh, looking at the 49ers-Rams final score guessing a lot of NFL teams will be trying to figure out how to tear fabric this week in practice
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So while we are into conspiracy theories, what about the possibility of a #TrumpBodyDouble. Would explain that inhuman shade of orange and some of the wild statements- especially if the body double was a giant Furby.
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Just when you think you’ve heard every airline excuse under the sun, and the moon, now I have a client on a delayed United flight in Denver because “they dented the plane with a baggage loader.”
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After reports of phantom donations, House Democrats now seeking a Justice Department investigation of Trump Foundation, #sauceforthegoose
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Donald Trump, attacking Hillary Clinton for her “basket of deplorables” line: “You can’t lead this nation if you have such a low opinion of its citizens.” Can a statement have an asterisk?
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A 21 year-old California man in Hawaii decided to make an illegal, nearly 200 ft jump off Kauai’s Wailua Falls. He was knocked unconscious, had to be rescued by other tourists, and called it ‘spiritual’, I call it ‘Almost a Darwin.” #misseditbythatmuch
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The U.S. Census Bureau said median income in the US rose over 5% to $56,516, the first increase since 2007. #IblameObama
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Edward Snowden says now he thinks President Obama should pardon him, saying his actions “may seem unlawful in letters on a page but when we look at them morally, when we look at them ethically, and when we look at the results, it seems obvious that these were necessary things.”
And then does Snowden expect Obama will bring him home from Russia on a flying pig?
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The Presidential election is distracting us from interesting state contests, but Lousiana’s Senate race deserves more attention. Not only is David Duke running, but a new book out “Murder on the Bayou” has allegations against one candidate, Rep. Charles Boustany, that prompted this verbatim statement from fellow candidate GOP Treasurer John Kennedy:
“I want to be very clear that my campaign played absolutely no role in creating this story alleging Congressman Boustany’s sexual relationships with prostitutes that were later murdered, his staff’s alleged involvement in running the bar and hotel where this illicit behavior took place, or publishing the book,”
#nottheOnion #Youcantmakethisstuffup
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Darwin jokes, Janice Hough, Rams jokes, Snowden jokes, Trump jokes, Vin Scully jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
September 12, 2016
If this keeps up Los Angeles is going to ask St. Louis if they would would take the Rams back.
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And the 49ers wonder why they can’t get fans to games, besides having a lousy team. ESPN’s Darren Rovell -“Two and half hours before Rams at 49ers, cheapest get-in ticket on StubHub is $35. Cheapest team parking spot? $69!”
Oakland 16, KC 3 on Monday. Wait, didn’t the Raiders play yesterday?
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After Saturday’s loss to CMU, Okla State coach Mike Gundy says he only wants to play nonconference home games with Big 12 officiating crews. Because his own conference refs NEVER make mistakes…? Or because they understand the importance of avoiding upsets of top teams who bring the conference money for bowl games.
Hope no #Samsung executive ever prayed for their #GalaxyNote7 to be the hottest phone in the world?
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Carrie Tolstedt, the woman who oversaw the Wells Fargo community banking unit where the fake account scam happened left the bank in July. She got a $124.6 million golden parachute.
“I am shocked” said nobody.
An Indiana fertility doctor has been charged with obstruction of justice. Prosecutors said the 1970s and 80s, he allegedly impregnated perhaps 50 women, who thought they were using medical school donors, with his own sperm. So will his defense be he wanted to be the next father of our country?
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Donald Trump says he will release his medical records “soon.” Like he released his tax returns “soon” after he promised them this January?
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Trump today said “this last week I took a physical I’ll be releasing – when the numbers come in, hopefully they’re gonna be good, I think they’re gonna be good.” Well of course, the bestest greatest numbers, they’re going to be huge.
No joke. Conspiracy theorists are now opining that Hillary Clinton is seriously ill or worse and has been replaced by a body-double. #BeammeupScottietheresnointelligentlifeonthisplanet
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As Trump and Clinton battle hard for the swing state of Virginia, thinking after tonight’s MNF game either of them would get a major boost if they promised on their first day in office to ban Dan Snyder from owning an NFL team.
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Think I’ve got it: Professional athletes regularly have illnesses and injuries. When they pretend they are fine and play through them for big games it’s proof of what heroic men they are. When a woman presidential candidate pretends she’s fine and shows up at an important event when she has pneumonia, it’s more proof of her duplicitous nature.
ESP from TC?
“Kaepernick will be the backup for tonight’s game. His role is to enter the game if it’s a blowout, take snaps and go down on one knee.”
Pay no attention to the man behind or in front of the curtain?
From Marc Ragovin “So Donald Trump is going to discuss his medical records this week with Dr. Oz. Trump and Oz is a very appropriate coupling.”
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: election jokes, Hillary jokes, Janice Hough, Trump jokes, wells fargo jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
September 11, 2016
ESPN’s fantasy football app was down today. The horror. Many viewers were left with only being able to care about whoever actually won the game.
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Nothing is certain but death, taxes, and the #Browns losing on #NFL opening week
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So as we honored all those who perished on September 11, and all of the first responders, etc, with ceremonies in MLB, perhaps we could make the date more significant going forward by having it be the ONLY time in the year teams play “God Bless America” during the 7th inning?
After watching #SFGiants revival in Arizona, looks like there’s at least one SF Bay Area team with chance of winning Monday night.
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Just maybe #SFGiants have decided to eliminate #Casilla discussions by not taking 1 run leads to the 9th? #HunterPence
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So Oklahoma State fell out of the top 25 after losing to Central Michigan even though officials admitted the game should have been over before the winning play. On the other hand, OSU shouldn’t have been that close to CMU at the end of the 4th quarter.
(ditto Clemson w/ Troy and Georgia with Nicholls.)
Kim Jong-Un has banned sarcasm. Yeah, right.
So @HillaryClinton has pneumonia. Waiting for @realDonaldTrump to say when he is President he will build a wall to keep out pneumonia.
Just imagine what would have happened if @HillaryClinton had followed her doctor’s advice & stayed home from 9/11 memorial service. #cantwin
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Meanwhile, Martin Shkreli showed up outside Chelsea’s Clinton’s apartment and actually heckled Hillary as she left after going there after the service. Very little bipartisan agreement in this country, but can we agree that Shkreli is a poor excuse for a human being?
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All of us are just guessing, really. But interesting how the same people who are positive Hillary is hiding something in her medical records are convinced there’s nothing to see in Trump’s tax returns.
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In Tampa, a man tried on a bulletproof vest last night while his cousin fired a shot to see if it worked. It didn’t. One Darwin, one manslaughter charge. #ifonlytheywerearmed No wait… back on your game, Florida.
My writing is mostly about sports and politics, and I don’t like playing the woman card. But give me a break, folks. Of course Hillary went to the 9/11 memorial today when she was sick. She’s a woman and a mom. Women go to important things when we are sick. We take care of our kids, significant others, we go to work if work needs to be done. Whereas men, at the risk of being “grossly generalistic….” Okay, rant’s over.
Categories: baseball jokes, GOP jokes, Hillary jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: ESPN jokes, fantasy football jokes, hilary health jokes, Janice Hough, SF Giants jokes, Shkreli jokes, Trump jokes
Comments: 4 Comments
September 10, 2016
Many SF Giants were shocked to see an unaccustomed sight in the dugout tonight during the team’s 11-3 win over the Arizona Diamondbacks – smiles.
Did #Northwestern decide to stop playing Division 1 #FBS football last offseason and just not tell anyone?
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Millions of Americans dislike both #Trump & #Clinton & think choosing the lesser evil is tough – what about when #Yankees play #Dodgers?
ESPN commenting on how old US Open women’s champion @AngeliqueKerber is…. she is 28 years old.
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Not sure who will with the Willie Mac award for this year’s most inspirational SF Giant. But the award for the Giant most likely to drive fans to scream, cry and/or drink has to go either to Santiago Casilla or the manager who keeps putting him out there.
Two games for USC, two players ejected in 1st half each game: LT Chuma Edoga today for pushing an official, LB Jabari Ruffin last week for stomping on an opponent’s groin.
So maybe coaches Sarkasian & Kiffin weren’t solely responsibly for all that Trojan embarrassment after all?
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Many of Hillary Clinton’s fundraisers are closed to the press, last night’s LGBT event WAS open to some media. And she said this – “To just be grossly generalistic, you could put half of Trump’s supporters into what I call the basket of deplorables. Right? The racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, Islamaphobic — you name it,”
So was it a gaffe by a very cautious politician? Or a deliberate hand grenade tossed to set off an carefully-timed explosion?
Hillary has backed off the “half” of Trump’s supporters on the “basket of deplorables” line, but not the concept. As the old joke goes “We’ve already established that, now we’re haggling price.
Guessing @realDonaldTrump is furious at @HillaryClinton over #BasketofDeplorables – insulting millions of Americans is HIS job.
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Donald Trump yesterday “With Iran, when they circle our beautiful destroyers with their little boats and they make gestures at our people that they shouldn’t be allowed to make, they will be shot out of the water.” How Presidential of him.
Mike Pence “I think it’s inarguable that Vladimir Putin has been a stronger leader in his country than Barack Obama has been in this country. And that’s going to change the day that Donald Trump becomes president.”
So Trump’s first act is going to be to disband Congress?
Categories: political jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: baskets of deplorables jokes, battle at bristol jokes, ESPN jokes, football jokes, Janice Hough, pence jokes, SF Giants jokes, Trump jokes
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September 10, 2016
Worst thing for Diamondbacks fans who showed up to see their team lose to SF Giants in 12 innings… many of them had bought tickets because of the postgame fireworks show.
Best thing about using #Twitter as a sports bar is when a #SFGiants game really drives you to drink there’s no need to drive home.
Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. #Bochy #SFGiants #Casilla #WTF?
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Does #Casilla have naked pictures of #Bochy somewhere? Asking for a friend. #SFGiants.
How the SF Giants can make playoffs: Samardzija played football at Notre Dame. Next time Casilla heads to mound, the Shark tackles him.
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Just wondering, If Peyton Manning were still playing, think officials might have called it a little differently if he took same helmet to helmet hits as Cam Newton in last night’s NFL opener?
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#CharlestonSouthern suspends 14 players for using some scholarship $$ in bookstore for stuff other than books. SEC players “What are books?”
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Jerry Jones has a fancy new helicopter with Cowboys logo on it, mostly to use to get him to and from games without traffic. But Jones told a Dallas News reporter “You can shoot out of it. You can shoot pigs out of it. You can do a lot of things in this helicopter.”
Ah yes, just another example about why the Cowboys franchise is so “beloved” outside of Dallas.
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The University of Alabama gave offensive coordinator Lane Kiffin a raise to $1.4 million. The President of the University makes under $700,000 a year. Talk about offensive.
Got to wonder, of the 5,300 Wells Fargo employees who were fired for illegally creating extra accounts for customers, how many of them were bank executives who pushed or oversaw the sales program? #sarcasm
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Donald Trump said in an call-in interview with Larry King that’s it’s “probably unlikely” that Russia is trying to influence the U.S. election. The interview was for RT America, part of Russia Today, which is Russian state TV. (Trump said he didn’t know that at the time.)
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Some slam Hillary for being a conservative Goldwater girl in 1964. 1964?! Heck, by the 1990s, even Goldwater himself had become liberal on many issues.
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John Kerry just announced the U.S. and Russia have reached a agreement on Syria, and a cease-fire is to begin Monday. #IblameObama
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In claiming to have always opposed the Iraq War, Donald Trump is using the “if you tell a lie enough times people will believe it” strategy.
You know, like “til death do us part.”
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Politico posting a memo from Andy Lack, chairman of NBC News and MSNBC about last night’s forum: “”Matt(Lauer) did a tremendous job — driving one of the most serious discussions to date on these topics.”
“Lack” as in “lack of a clue?” #WTF?
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Trump railing against Hillary at a rally “She’s being so protected. She could walk into this arena right now and shoot somebody with 20,000 people watching, right smack in the middle of the heart and she wouldn’t be prosecuted, OK?”
Is the Donald volunteering to test that theory?
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From Alex Kaseberg: “Tim Tebow signed with the New York Mets. The Mets are excited. They’ve never had a player throw an interception before.”
Categories: Uncategorized
Comments: 1 Comment
September 8, 2016
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The New York Mets actually have signed Tim Tebow to a minor league contract. Is it for his baseball ability? Or are they hoping to get God on their side for a potential playoff run?
What’s all the #CARvsDEN stress, unlike in college football the first game doesn’t really matter as to making the playoffs.
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CEO Jed York, said today that the SF 49ers will give $1 million to two local groups to “help bridge the gap and create better collaboration between law enforcement and local communities.”
So who knew, maybe Colin Kaepernick could actually lead the team after all?
Ray Lewis, going after Colin Kaepenick on his protest. “I think Colin just needs to step back.” Although some might say if Ray had just stepped back in 2000, maybe Jacinth Baker and Richard Lollar might be alive today.
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So maybe Matt Lauer’s real goal is to become the first anchor on the Trump News Network?
If #MattLauer asks #TimTebow about #Aleppo it could break the internet.
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Somewhere #SarahPalin is really upset she got interviewed by #KatieCouric instead of #MattLauer #LaueringTheBar
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Embarrassing interview for Libertarian Presidential candidate Gary Johnson. But what are the odds that Donald Trump knows what Aleppo is either?
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So does #GaryJohnson‘s interview last night make him wish he had chosen #AdmiralStockdale as a running mate? #Aleppo
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A CNN report says an NBC executive “speaking anonymously” said the “Commander-in-chief” forum was a “disaster.” Wow. Usually disasters at NBC are with their prime-time fall lineup.
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Trump supporters are calling for a boycott of Starbucks after CEO Howard Schultz endorsed Hillary and slammed the Donald’s “vitriolic display of bigotry and hate and divisiveness.”
Well, it’s a free country, but weren’t many Trump supporters already boycotting Starbucks over things like LGBT rights? – or as my friend Erin says, the Christmas cups?
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Wells Fargo fired approx 5,300 employees for allegedly opening up additional accounts without their customers’ permission. Uh, over 5,000 people isn’t rogue employees, that’s company practice.
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Trump said last night that he was “pretty good with the body language,” in his supposedly top-secret intelligence briefing and “what I did learn is that our leadership, Barack Obama, did not follow what our experts, and our — truly, when they call it intelligence, it’s there for a reason — what our experts said to do,”
Uh, and we’re worried about Hillary’s email server compromising secrets and national security? #WTF?
Trump last night praised Vladimir Putin and talked of the Russan President’s “82 percent approval rating.” Well, by that token the Donald should be a really big fan of Kim Jong Un -whose approval rating is about 100%. Of living North Koreans polled.
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, GOP jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: aleppo jokes, gary johnson jokes, Janice Hough, kaerpernick jokes, matt lauer jokes, NFL jokes, Palin jokes
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September 8, 2016
Good news for San Francisco Bay Area sports fan. Soon with the 49ers season starting they’ll only expect to see one ugly loss a week.
When Posey got a two-out double after first two SF Giants made outs on the first pitch in 9th, Kruk said that we didn’t have to worry about Casilla because he was “now back in his regular rhythm.”
Uh, that’s what Giants fans were afraid of.
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Announced today #MattDuffy to have season-ending surgery with #Rays. Tonight’s #Casilla-started 9th sure felt season-ending for #SFGiants
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Atlanta Braves manager John Coppolella said there was “no risk” in signing Tim Tebow::”It’s similar to when Michael Jordan or others have wanted to play. It’s positive to draw this kind of interest to the game and make it a story because it’s good for baseball.”
He didn’t add “and how long has it been since ANYONE showed any interest in the Braves?
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Colin Kaepernick today said he would donate all the money he gets from his now-top selling NFL jersey “back into the communities.”
Is it just me or has the 49ers backup QB appeared to have grown up in a hurry after that first protest?
Roger Goodell on Kaerpernick: “we believe very strongly in patriotism in the NFL.. I think it’s important to have respect for our country, for our flag, for the people who make our country better; for law enforcement..,”
“For law enforcement.” That’s why so many players work so hard at keeping so many police officers busy?
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Art Briles, after being fired as football coach of Baylor over several sexual assault scandals involving players. “Hey, I made some mistakes. I was wrong. I’m sorry. I’m gonna learn. I’m gonna do better.”
Better at disciplining his players or better at keeping them from getting caught?
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Ryan Lochte, who already lost his four endorsement contracts, has now been suspended by USA swimming for 10 months. Talk about a high-priced pay toilet.
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Tiger Woods says he will return to competitive golf in October at the Safeway Open in Napa. Makes sense, then Tiger can go wine-tasting on his weekend off.
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So why did #Apple get rid of their iPhone jack? Might be 3 words – “cordless $159 earphones. #AppleEvent
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President Obama apparently met informally with Philippine President Duterte today, despite Duterte’s earlier disrespectful insults. Well, guess Obama has had plenty of practice with this sort of thing with Congress.
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A 17-year old Louisiana girl vented on social media “‘Just left albertsons. The woman behind the cake counter just refused to make me a birthday cake because I wanted “Trump 2016″ on it…” The store said it wasn’t about politics but for fear of being sued for copyright infringement with the logo.
Inclined to believe Albertson’s, Louisiana is not exactly a blue state. But allowing for the possibility of the decorator think that Trump is not a good Christian and she didn’t want to make the cake, where are the defenders of religious freedom on this one?
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Donald Trump on Phyllis Schlafly “She was a patriot, a champion for women…” Some statements can’t possibly be topped with a punchline.
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Donald Trump tonight “Under the leadership of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton the generals have been reduced to rubble, reduced to a point where it is embarrassing for our country.”
But earlier today the Donald said that on day one of his Presidency, ““We are going to convey my top generals and give them a simple instruction They will have 30 days to submit to the Oval Office a plan for soundly and quickly defeating ISIS. We have no choice.”
These quotes are verbatim – so just wondering, how does Trump plan to FIND top generals out of the rubble?
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, GOP jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: casilla jokes, debate jokes, duffy jokes, Giants jokes, Janice Hough, Kaepernick jokes, Trump jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
September 6, 2016
On Wednesday. San Francisco’s temperature will reach above 70 degrees for 1st time in 7 weeks. So the city’s been as cold as #SFGIants offense.
Hard on SF Giants fans to watch Casilla coming in tonight. On the other hand, a nice surprise to enter the 9th with a lead.
Open note to Bruce Bochy. If the SF Giants make postseason, good hitters on playoff teams don’t miss a Casilla hanging curve ball.
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Bad enough when #SFGiants aren’t hitting their weight. But when as a team they aren’t hitting MY weight….
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ESPN says #SF49ers hold 2016 distinction of being worst team in #NFL. And #ClevelandBrowns are thinking “Who are we, chopped liver?
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Reportedly #GeorgeZimmerman is broke & homeless. If he changed his plea to guilty maybe #Florida could take care of the homeless problem. Maybe for 15 years to life?
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#TaylorSwift & #TomHiddleston have announced their “amicable” break up. So congrats to all those who had Sept 6 in the pool.
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Got to wonder about targeted advertising when I get an ad saying “American Pride,” with underneath “Sign up” from the Trump campaign. On the other hand, just imagine what new material for comedy writing I could get.
CNN headline “Troy Aikman’s not fond of Skip Bayless,” Uh, wouldn’t it be more newsworthy if they found someone who WAS fond of Skip Bayless?
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#Texas is actually ranked for 1st time in the Charlie Strong era. So are #Longhorns that good, or are #NotreDame #FightingIrish that bad?
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Greta Van Susteren announced she is leaving Fox News on the same day the network announced a $20 million settlement and apology for Gretchen Carlson. Some rumors that Greta is leaving over a financial disagreement. Which would make sense, that $20 million probably means fewer raises for everyone else.
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So yeah, I get it, the media has to occupy their time. But all these changing “national poll results” they like to hype… with the electoral college national votes don’t mean a rat’s ass. Just ask President Al Gore.
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The Harvard Republican Club has refused to endorse Trump, the first time they have not backed the GOP nominee since 1888. This time, however, John McCain didn’t beg them to change their mind.
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Ben Carson said “it would be a good idea” if Donald Trump apologized for being a part of the birther conspiracy. “Let’s get all of the, you know, the hate and rancor out of the way so that we can actually discuss the issues.”
Uh, except that in large part, “hate and rancor” ARE Trump’s issues.
Categories: Uncategorized
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September 5, 2016
Headline “Johnny Manziel” is taking classes again at Texas A&M.” Really?! ” What is this “again” they speak of.?”
Many things you don’t do in Denver. For starters, never diss John Elway. And never walk two hitters to start an inning at #CoorsField #SFGiants #Rockies
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Matt Moore only had one bad inning. Although by that token the Cubs have had only one bad century.
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The #SFGiants ARE going to reach double digits in hits in a game again this season, aren’t they? #Wecandream
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I know #LaborDay is a holiday, but don’t think that meant #SFGiants starting pitcher should join hitters in taking the day off.
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#ColinKaepernick‘s jersey now the top seller on team. So either there’s no such thing as bad publicity, or NOBODY cares about the #49ers.
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Okay, now there’s some controversy because Malia Obama was seen at Budweiser Made in America Festival in a ‘Smoking Kills’ T-shirt. Because she was seen smoking at Lollopalooza last month. Uh, folks, pretty sure Malia wasn’t smoking tobacco
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#Texas upsets #NotreDame in two overtimes. This would have never happened in South Bend – refs would not have allowed it.
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Too soon to start a pool on which NFL team will now decide former 49ers TE Bruce Miller deserves a third chance?
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Waiting for the bumper sticker. “Vote Trump because you hope he’ll change.”
Phyllis Schafly, 92, has died For the younger generation, she was almost as beloved by moderate and liberal women as Ann Coulter.
So I think I’ve got this straight. If Hillary doesn’t release every single one of her emails and documents it is because she is an evil person with something to hide. But if Trump doesn’t release his tax returns or records of his divorces or business dealings it’s because we just wouldn’t understand. #Sarcasm
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Rudy Giuliani today on CNN, Trump “would find it very, very difficult to throw out a family that has been here for 15 years and they have three children, two of whom are citizens. That is not the kind of America he wants.”
Difficult, maybe, but the Donald could do it because he would have the biggest, the bestest people helping him….
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Some seem to think that anyone voting for Hillary Clinton is excusing all her issues and faults. Nope. Hillary is a flawed candidate, and her flaws have been in the public eye for a long time.
But to paraphrase the late great Jean Marshall Crawford “She’s not perfect, but he’s nuts.”
And okay I realize that a majority of my friends and readers currently plan to vote for Hlllary, some cheerfully, some holding their noses. Some waiting to see if there is an “October Surprise.” Others will protest vote Libertarian, Green or write-in. But as to those voting Trump, a serious question to ask – is there anything he could do or say to change your minds?
Or could he indeed shoot someone in the middle of Fifth Avenue because you dislike Hillary so much?
Categories: baseball jokes, Hillary jokes, holiday jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Coors field jokes, Giants jokes, Johnny Manziel jokes, labor day jokes, Trump jokes
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September 4, 2016
It’s not just the blown saves. It’s the kind of blown saves. The blown “balk-off” save after that great comeback against the Padres, the 3 run home-run blown save with two outs after a 6 run lead was down to two, today when the #SFGiants were actually going to win a game against the Cubs, the best team so far in the NL, despite having only 2 hits….
On the bright side, #Casilla probably means increased employment for San Francisco area psychologists and bartenders.
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#JoeNathan, after perfect 12th, defended #SFGiants closer ; Casilla has “electric stuff..sky’s the limit for him.” Yeah, but sky is falling
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Former USC coach Steve Sarkisian, apparently may join the Alabama coaching staff, where he’d work alongside Lane Kiffin. Would this make give the Crimson Tide the only sideline with nuclear capability?
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LSU coach Les Miles says he will review Josh Boutte’s late hit on Wisconsin’s D’Cota Dixon after Dixon’s game-clinching interception. Wonder if Miles might even suspend Boutte for the first half of next week’s game against Jacksonville State?
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Coldplay’s Chris Martin yesterday in San Francisco referred to it being “the city of brotherly love,” Philadelphia was the band’s next stop. Good thing he didn’t say something about Frisco or the Golden Gate in Philly, fans might not have let him out alive.
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When Navy’s QB was injured they took a guy out of the stands, dressed him in uniform and put him in. Then Malcolm Perry led the team to a win. You can do that? said the Dallas Cowboys.
If politics makes strange bed fellows, sports makes stranger ones: As in people suddenly becoming Texas fans. #HookEmHorns. #NDvsTex
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But hey, Notre Dame opening their season on … a Sunday? And then losing in the second overtime. Well, well maybe even God sometimes has has enough of Touchdown Jesus.
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Hillary Clinton, after Donald Trump attacked Arizona GOP senator Jeff Flake “”There’s going to be no one left in Washington for Trump to work with who he hasn’t insulted.”
And the Donald is thinking “She thinks I have to work with anyone?”
From my funny friend Alex Kaseberg.
A shirtless Rhode Island man opened fire on his neighbor’s home using corncobs and a potato gun. Authorities are entertaining the concept that alcohol may have been involved.
(So I have to wonder – instead of being armed, can we say this guy was eared?)
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September 3, 2016
Seahawks DE Cliff Avril reached out to Tony Romo after hitting him and fracturing his back. Romo apparently texted back “You take care of the NFC West, we will see yall in the playoff.”
So will Seattle send Dallas tickets?
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SFGiants bullpen manages to hold a 1 run lead for 3 innings against Cubs. So where do we submit this to the Pope as a miracle?
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And today,Madbum walked & Cubs pitched to Nunez in front of him – resulting in a run-scoring single, rather than issuing an intentional walk. The fear of #Pitcherswhorake #SFGiants
Meanwhile, the SF Giants call up Joe Nathan. Going to party like it’s 1999!
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On a week that the University of Wisconsin was named the #1 US college party school, the Badgers upset #5 LSU. On Labor Day weekend. So have they canceled Tuesday classes yet?
As Stanford fan not fond of the SEC, I begin to understand what it must be like for my friends who hate both #Hillary & #Trump #USCvsBAMA
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And a fat lot of good it took me on the high road: But ok, since I tell people they have to chose even between “the lesser of two evils.” Gulp. #GoTrojans #FightOn #USCvsBAMA
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The #Broncos released #MarkSanchez, who’s expected to sign w/ #Cowboys. Great news for comedy writers who wonder they will do post-election.
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Chip Kelly announced today that Blaine Gabbert would be the 49ers starting QB. Wonder if the second in command on the Titanic disrespected “God Save the King.”
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So #Stanford didn’t look great in opening game. But they didn’t lose. Yes I am talking about you fill-in-the-blank team #nerdnation
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A man given nitrous oxide at a dentist in Ohio is recovering after he accidentally shot himself in the hand with his own gun. He thought he heard his cellphone ringing. #ifonlyhewasarmed. No, wait…never mind
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A 5.6 magnitude earthquake in Oklahoma this morning, also rattling
Kansas, Arkansas, Missouri, Texas, Nebraska, and Iowa. Maybe God is sending a message to red states?
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From T.C. “People in the Bay Area were outraged that Red Sox infielder Dustin Pedroia was not standing during the National Anthem at the Oakland A’s game. PeeDee said “But I am standing!”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: giants joke, Janice Hough, Romo jokes, Wisconsin jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
September 2, 2016
Really ESPN? Headline reads “Ex-Stanford swimmer out of jail after 3 months” What about “Convicted rapist Brock Turner out of jail after 3 months?” Can’t imagine how some young men get the idea it’s all about how they perform as athletes.
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#BrockTurner is out of jail. Hope Mexican government tells him not to try coming down for vacation, Mexico doesn’t want our “worst.”
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John McEnroe doing commentary for the U.S. Open and looking a little old. Guess it won’t be long until he’s screaming “You punks cannot be serious about being on my lawn.”
As the #49ers circus gets into full gear approaching the season opener you can hear the giggles all the way from Ann Arbor. #MGoBlue
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Give #ColinKaepernick credit. Until this week, who outside of the San Francisco Bay Area was paying any attention to the 2016 49ers?
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If this keeps up not only will #SFGiants not be in playoffs, they will not be able to legitimately claim they are selling “game used” bats.
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Stanford winning semi-comfortably in the second half against Kansas State. But have they checked in with #SFGiants? Hard to win when you decide to get a lead and stop scoring.
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From “a chicken in every pot” to “a taco truck on every corner.”. God Bless America. @realDonaldTrump @HillaryClinton
Reuters reports that Donald Trump has not paid “at least 10 top staffers, consultants and advisers. Some like Paul Manafort are no longer working for him. Maybe the Donald thinks it was enough that they worked on the biggest, the best, the very bestest campaign in history
Vladimir Putin on the DNC hacking “I don’t know anything about it, and on a state level Russia has never done this, But “the important thing is the content that was given to the public.”
Just guessing those words spoken by someone who has pretty good assurances they aren’t on the hackers list?
and yeah, alumni pride and all that. But not bad. #Nerdnation
Categories: Uncategorized
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September 1, 2016
Facebook just changed their relationship status with SpaceX to “it’s complicated.”
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At Cape Canaveral, a SpaceX rocket exploded on the launch pad this morning. SpaceX described the explosion as an “anomaly.” Fortunately there were no injuries. And airline spokespersons immediately filed “anomaly” away for future use.
Pamela Anderson, 49, has become an anti-porn crusader. Maybe because no one wants to see her sex tapes anymore?
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As Colin Kaepernick doubles down on his anthem protest, angering many other NFL players, here’s an interesting side note: Right now the 49ers only have to pay him guaranteed salary for 2016. But if Kaepernick suffers a career-ending injury, he also gets $14.5 million guaranteed in 2017 and $5.2 million in 2018.
So if Kap plays this year, he’s one good hit away from a long paid vacation.
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Would have been ironic tonight if angry fans went after #Kaepernick in San Diego & he needed a police escort to get out of stadium safely. #SFvsSD
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Angry Mexican news anchor about Trump’s visit “The humiliation is now complete.” Which is the same sentiment felt by many rational members of the GOP.
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NY Jets WR Brandon Marshall said he believes the Chicago Bears traded him after the 2014 season because of his in-season television work on Showtime’s “Inside the NFL” Well, that and Marshall’s receiving stats falling off almost 50% from the 2013 season.
All this talk about scary clowns in #SouthCarolina. Weren’t the presidential primaries months ago?
Appalachian State had a chance to beat Tennessee in regulation, but neglected to call their 3rd and last time out when they might have been in field goal range. Sounds like they spend as much time in math class as members of top NCAA programs.
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Governor RIck Scott has issued a hurricane warning for Florida, saying that Hermine could be “life-threatening.” Surprised he didn’t add a warning to President Obama to stay out of the state’s business.
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Donald Trump believes that American-born children of illegals should be deported. So what does that mean IF it turns out Melania skirted immigration law with her visa?
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United Airlines says that 12 passengers were injured by “severe and unexpected turbulence” on an overnight flight to London while most were asleep. So what part of “keep your seatbelt fastened while you sleep” do most people not understand? #cantfixstupid #butyoucaninjurestupid
“Business Insider’ reports that Marco Gutierrez, who founded “Latinos for Trump’ said there could be “taco trucks on every corner” if the Donald isn’t elected.
Taco trucks? Hmm…Gutierrez might have just given a lot of Americans reasons to vote for Hillary.
From my friend Tony Alan Banks, who just may have solved one of the mysteries of the universe: I’m 100% convinced that every time a sock goes missing in the dryer it comes back as an extra tupperware lid.”
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, GOP jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: airline jokes, appalachian state, clown jokes, Florida jokes, Janice Hough, Kaepernick jokes, Trump jokes, United jokes
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August 31, 2016
Twitter just gave me the “Who to follow” suggestion of @NBCOlympics Makes sense, the suggestion is as delayed as everything else about this summer’s games.
#Rockies can’t hold 6 run lead after 8 innings against #Dodgers. On brighter note #SFGiants next week at Coors should never feel out of a game.
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Congrats to #TyBlach, the newest pitcher promoted to #SFGiants, leads PCL w/ 14 wins. May or may not have major league stuff. But now neither do Cain & Peavy
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A’s traded #CocoCrisp to #Indians. Proving again most appropriate @Athletics bobblehead would have blank uniform & come with erasable pen.
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Some talk that Colin Kaepernick is being attacked for his sitting down during the National Anthem because he is black, or at least bi-racial. Though have to think if Russell Wilson did it we’d be having a very different discussion.
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Bleacher Report reporting that Colin Kaepernick has become persona non grata in the NFL.. One executive “In my career, I have never seen a guy so hated by front office guys as Kaepernick.”
Right, because he disrespected the flag. Murder, domestic violence, sexual assault, animal cruelty, those are all forgivable. #WTF?
On the other hand, just guessing #MuhammadAli and #JackieRobinson would not wear socks featuring caps wearing police caps. #ColinKaepernick #WTF?
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Congratulations to Rockies rookie Stephen Cardullo, who today on his 29th birthday got his 1st major league home run against the Dodgers in game 1, and a grand slam in game 2.
But maybe SFGiants pitchers might want to get some tape on him before heading to Coors next week.
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Loved Dallas Braden on KNBR this morning, talking about Tebow trying to play MLB. He was talking about strength and size really not mattering in baseball – said Jose Altuve is a likely MVP and “he couldn’t get on rides at Disneyland.”
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All of this outrage that donors to the Clinton Foundation might have done it to get access to the Clintons. As opposed to big campaign donors who give money to candidates out of the goodness of their hearts?
Yet another August 31 political fundraising email starting “I’m sorry to bother you twice on the same day…” Uh, no you aren’t, or you wouldn’t do it. #Justsayno
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Donald Trump was off to Mexico before a speech tonight on immigration. And Hillary Clinton today is tweeting about the mental health crisis in America. Coincidence?
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So while @realDonaldTrump was in Mexico did he try to teach them to make taco bowls as good as the ones in Trump Tower?
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Why does everyone care so much about what Donald Trump said tonight about immigration. No doubt he will probably will deny saying it tomorrow.
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Trump on his meeting with Mexico’s President Nieto “We did discuss the wall. We didn’t discuss payment of the wall.” Well, with all those corporate bankruptcies this is probably the way the Donald is used to doing business.
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Donald Trump “It’s our right as a sovereign nation to choose immigrants that we think are the likeliest to thrive and flourish and love us.” Spoken by a man who has chosen immigrants for two of his three wives.
Today Trump said “we discussed the wall, we did not discuss who would pay for the wall.” Then Nieto said “I made it clear that Mexico will not pay for the wall” Then Trump gave a speech saying Mexico would pay for the wall.
Maybe this is all preparation for the Donald’s next reality show “Dancing with the Truth.”
So is there a world leader @realDonaldTrump hasn’t insulted or accused of lying, besides #Putin?
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, GOP jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: A's jokes, colinkaepernick jokes, flag jokes, fundraising jokes, Janice Hough, Kaepernick jokes, Rockies jokes, wall jokes
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August 30, 2016
Increasing social media support for #ColinKaepernick. Wonder how many are #LARams fans wanting to make sure he starts season opener. #SFvsLA
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Okay, on some level isn’t the most shocking thing about the controversy that #ColinKaepernick is actually relevant again? #SF49ers
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#ColinKaepernick controversy was about him sitting during national anthem: The way he’s looked in preseason he was going to be sitting after it.
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Happiest people about this Kaepernick controversy have to be TV advertisers who have bought space for upcoming games right before the National Anthem.
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Tony Stewart now has called Colin Kaepernick an “idiot.” Right, because Kap shouldn’t have sat down to protest, he should have run someone over with his car?
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You know you’re having a bad week when you replaced #TonyRomo on your #FantasyFootball team with #TeddyBridgewater
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Senator #MarcoRubio, who is running for re-election, has refused to commit to serving a full six-year term. “Atta boy!” said #SarahPalin
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Sarah Palin gashed her forehead while running when she fell on a rock. No word on the condition of the rock.
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Bruce Bochy indicates that Joe Nathan might be a September call-up for SFGiants. Bonus is any medical costs would be covered by Medicare.
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Tim Tebow has been offered a baseball contract to play winter ball in Venezuela. No interest yet from any major league team. But maybe Tebow hasn’t heard from the Braves yet?
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Chris Brown has surrendered to police after an 11-hour standoff at his Southern California home. 11-hours? That’s probably longer than it will take Brown to write a song about it.
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#ChrisBrown in 2013 “I finally learned that hitting a woman is wrong.” #ChrisBrown in 2016 “Pulling a gun on her, on the other hand….
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An inmate at a Northern California jail for petty theft, was scheduled to be released today, but he tried to escape over a fence yesterday, was caught, and now faces additional charges. #Crooksarestupid
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Another candidate for the “crooks are stupid” award of the week: A woman was arrested after she bailed her friend out of jail. With a stolen credit card. Back on your game, Florida.
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ISIS second-in-command and spokesman Abu Muhammad al-Adnani has been killed. #IblameObama
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As Trump criticizes Hillary Clinton over the Anthony Weiner mess, have to wonder, how happy is the Donald now that they didn’t have cellphones with cameras when he himself was in his younger days?
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Donald Trump is heading to Mexico for meeting with President Nieto Wednesday. Quick, can we get that wall built while he’s gone?
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From Marc Ragovin “Iowa Senator Jodi Ernst recently said that both Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton should stop their nasty personal attacks and civilly and rationally address the important issues facing America. She then excused herself to film a commercial in which she castrates President Obama.”
Categories: baseball jokes, football jokes, GOP jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Colin Kaepernick jokes, Janice Hough, Kaepernick jokes, kap jokes, Palin jokes, Rubio jokes, Trump jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
August 29, 2016
Bummer, Gene Wilder, 83, has passed away. Although between him and Gilda Radnerthere should be some un-PC side-splitting shows in heaven coming up.
Hope it didn’t kill Wilder to face the possibility of an Oompa Loompa being elected president.
Interesting to hear commentators talk about how Colin Kaepernick’s protest might keep the suddenly desperate Dallas Cowboys from trading for him. Right, this is the same team that had no problem signing Greg Hardy. #priorities.
If #SF49ers want a less controversial backup QB than #ColinKaepernick, #MichaelVick is available. Or hey, so is #TimTebow.
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Sigh. Wasn’t that long ago that SF Giants thought Barry Bonds’ recliner was the biggest problem team could have with one of their players sitting.
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Absolutely respect #ColinKaepernick‘s views & desire to speak up. But think his execution has been as good his handling of #49ers offense.
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Figure @realDonaldTrump will soon go after #ColinKaepernick soon. Less for #49ers QB’s protest than for fact he’s stealing Trump’s headlines
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At the U.S. Open, tennis player CoCo Vandeweghe, who lost in 3 sets, refused to shake the official’s hand: “I’m frickin’ pissed. It sucks.”
Vandeweghe isn’t leaving the tournament yet: “I have doubles Doubles and mixed, that’s where I’m heading next.”
And after today I’m sure she’ll have no problems with officials going forward…..
#RickPerry is going to be on #DWTS?! Did someone warn him he will have to count steps?
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Ohio State suspended highly-recruited WR Torrance Gibson for the season “due to a violation of the school’s student code of conduct.” Urban Meyer says “I disagree” and adds that it was not a football or athletic dept decision.
Guess it’s time to open the pool on when Gibson will apply to transfer to an SEC school.
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Former Stanford student and convicted rapist Brock Turner will be released from prison Friday after 3 months. No word on where he will go.
Hmm, India might be a good fit, this from their tourism minister, while promoting a welcome kit to be handed out on arrival “There’s a card in there listing the do’s and don’ts. Basic things like, ‘Don’t go out at night alone.’ ‘Don’t wear skirts.'”
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The Princeton Review named University of Wisconsin-Madison the #1 party school in the USA. Well, no doubt that calls for an all-campus party tonight.
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Last Saturday night, the 911 system in Washington D.C. was down for two hours, when a contractor working on a water leak accidentally turned the master switch off. Proving again, sometimes terrorism is no match for good old fashioned stupidity.
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#AnthonyWeiner and #HumaAbedin are separating. Five words: What took her so long?
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Sure hope the people who have been attacking Hillary Clinton for not leaving Bill are nothing but supportive of Huma Abedin’s split from Anthony Weiner. #wecandream
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Donald Trump this morning “Huma is making a very wise decision. I know Anthony Weiner well, and she will be far better off without him.”
But then added “Hillary Clinton was careless and negligent in allowing Weiner to have such close proximity to highly classified information. Who knows what he learned and who he told? It’s just another example of Hillary Clinton’s bad judgment. It is possible that our country and its security have been greatly compromised by this.”
So for those who wondered how long the Donald could stay on the high road, the answer, about 15 seconds.
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So Donald Trump attacks Hillary Clinton over national security because of Huma Abedin & Anthony Weiner: Clearly a rant from a man who has no idea women can keep secrets from their husbands.
Categories: football jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, Cowboys jokes, gene wilder jokes, Janice Hough, Kaepernick jokes, Trump jokes, US open jokes, Weiner jokes
Comments: 6 Comments
August 28, 2016
Now 49ers fans are apparently burning Colin Kaepernick jerseys. Okay, but is this really for his not standing for the anthem, or for his play since signing that big contract?
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CNN.com headline “Star QB won’t stand for anthem.” And thinking “did someone else follow Kaepernick’s lead?” #49ers
Some are saying that Colin Kaepernick’s anthem protest could be a distraction from the 49ers play on the field this year. After a few games SF fans may be thinking “Promise?”
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Wonder what it would take for #TomBrady to do or say before #Patriots fans would burn his jersey?
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Maybe this was Kap’s way of making sure he wouldn’t be traded to Dallas.
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And what’s next for Chip Kelly? Trying to get the team to sign a less controversial backup QB? Like Michael Vick? And there’s always Tebow.
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Four home runs and four triples Sunday? Who are these players in #SFGiants uniforms?
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Somebody wasn’t in their happy place. Umpire Mike Everitt ejected four Detroit Tigers Saturday night during their game against the Angels. Wonder what happens if an ump ejects enough people that a team runs out of players.
Imagine what kind of a year the #Yankees might have had if they kicked #ARod to the curb earlier?
After today’s 13-3 game, maybe someone from #SFGiants organization needs to lie down in front of #Braves plane and keep them from leaving town.
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At least one terminal at LAX was evacuated after reports of a shooter tonight, which turned out to be a false alarm. If only other travelers at the airport were armed.
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The latest from #LAX is that panic & evacuation tonight was caused by someone in a Zorro costume with a plastic sword. #Fearitselfiswinning.
In New Mexico, a police officer wearing a lapel camera apparently accidentally filled himself stealing confiscated marijuana from his own office. Is there such a thing as a career Darwin?
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Two United Airlines pilots yesterday were arrested at Glasgow airport for allegedly being too drunk to fly their schedule flight to Newark. Will their defense be you need to be drunk to want to fly from Scotland to New Jersey?
Trump spokeswoman Katrina Pierson “He hasn’t changed his position on immigration. He’s changed the words that he is saying,”
And what are words anyway, except, for example, the U.S. Constitution.
Monday @realDonaldTrump has $25,000 fundraiser at undisclosed SF Peninsula location. Undisclosed because no one wants to be seen attending?
Categories: football jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, airline jokes, Chip Kelly jokes, Colin Kaepernick jokes, Janice Hough, Kaepernick jokes, kap jokes, lax jokes, Trump jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
August 27, 2016
49ers QB Colin Kaepernick said he remained seated on the bench during the national anthem yesterday because “I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color.”
Well, if Kaepernick likes sitting, this year he’s going to get to do a lot of it.
Admire when someone takes a stand at their own personal risk. But when Colin Kaepernick says ““If they take football away, my endorsements from me, I know that I stood up for what is right.”
I’m all for free speech. But the way Kap is playing – what endorsements?
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Announcers at the Little League World Series talk about a Panamian flamethrower who pitches 81 MPH. And somewhere Barry Zito is just sobbing.
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#TonyRomo has a broken bone in his back. So it will be at least until midseason before he can return to disappoint #Cowboys fans.
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Two Western Michigan football players were arrested for allegedly robbing a female student with a knife and semi-automatic gun. Coach P.J. Fleck suspended them both indefinitely “I’m extremely disappointed and want to assure the community that this kind of conduct is unacceptable and does not represent the values of this team or this university.”
Uh, does armed robbery represent the values of any team or university?
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The Chicago White Sox are changing their field name from U.S. Cellular Field to Guaranteed Rate Field. Let’s see, cellphone companies and mortgage lenders. So they’re trying to get people less focused on booing the team than booing the sponsor?
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In Tallahassee, FSU strength & conditioning coach Vic Viloria was arrested for alleged DUI after he was found “passed out” in the driver’s seat of his truck at a traffic light. Viloria clearly wasn’t thinking, that sort of thing isn’t tolerated in Tallahassee, unless you actually play for the Seminoles.
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Ann Coulter, in her book “In Trump We Trust” said “Until the bleeding has stopped, there’s nothing Trump can do that won’t be forgiven. Except change his immigration policies.”
Ann forgot to add “How many times.”
Kudos to Southwest pilots for landing the plane safely when an engine disintegrated during a flight from New Orleans to Orlando. But then apparently some passengers took selfies while donning the oxygen masks. #BeammeupScottytheresnointelligentlifeonthisplanet.
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Donald Trump tweet from yesterday ““Dwayne Wade’s cousin was just shot and killed walking her baby in Chicago. Just what I have been saying. African-Americans will VOTE TRUMP!”
Leaving the misspelling aside, can’t understand how some might get the idea that with the Donald it’s all about him. #sarcasm
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From T.C. “US Cellular Field, the home of the Chicago White Sox have just sold the naming rights to “Guaranteed Rate” for the next 7 years. This is not to be confused with Wrigley Field which has been known as the home of “Guaranteed Losers” since 1908.”
Categories: baseball jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, Janice Hough, Kaepernick jokes, LLWS jokes, Romo jokes
Comments: 6 Comments
Left Coast Sports Babe 