Archive for October 2014
October 30, 2014
So what time do the SF Giants play today? Oh, wait…. never mind. #missingbaseballalready
Amazing how people who complain that the World Series was a game between two Wild Cards and thus a devaluation of the regular season seem to have had no problem with, say, the 2007 Super Bowl Champion NY Giants. Or the 2010 Packers. #NFLcandonowrong
Ok, who had the #NewOrleansSaints, starting 2-4, in 1st place in the AFC South after week 8? #WhoDat
Oops. Jets WR Eric Decker tweeted out “”tell me why you love the @nyjets using #jetsdiehardfan and I’ll send a signed prize to my favorite.” And with the team 1-7 he got a predictable result. Though have to figure a sincere response would have been “when OUR team has them on the schedule.”
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Question, who was the umpire at first base for game seven of the World Series? As my son points out, few people know the answer to that question, and thanks to instant replay, he won’t become as infamous as Don Denkinger.
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After Game 5 of the World Series, the Royals’ Jarrod Dyson said “One good thing for us, we don’t have to worry about Bumgarner no more.” Not exactly.
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Babies in San Jose.
From Alex Kaseberg “In San Francisco’s Castro district last night, men were ripping off their clothes, swilling champagne and dancing in the street. When asked how long they would celebrate the Giants win, they said; ‘What Giants win?”
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Now that the World Series is over, ESPN can get back to the news they really care about, like this headline story today: “A-Rod’s suspension ends. Back in play for Yanks.”
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And then all these ESPN headlines about LeBron James returning to Cleveland. Score of the game? Oh, you mean there’s a game?
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RG III will start for Washington this weekend against the Vikings. Good thing the game will be played in Minnesota. The boos from the stands will be less embarrassing than they would be at Fed Ex Field.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: A-Rod jokes, baseball jokes, bumgarner jokes, ESPN jokes, Janice Hough, Lebron jokes, SF Giants jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
October 30, 2014
After the SF Giants win, the folks at Kaufmann stadium turned the fountains to orange. And hey, since the Giants are an even year team, happy to root for the KC Royals in 2015.
If poetry is “emotion recollected in tranquility,” then these World Series post game shows are indeed poetry. #SFGiants
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Doesn’t it seem sometimes like Joe #Panik has always been at 2nd for the #SFGiants? #realbaseballplayer
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But breathing plan for Game 7. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. Ah screw it, so how long can you hold your breath anyway? #SFGiants #Game7 #WorldSeries
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Chicks dig the small ball #sfgiants #WorldSeries
SF Giants have accomplished a double mission. First, winning the World Series. Second, giving all their fans a free cardiac stress test.
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And yet, win or lose, Giamatti was right about baseball. Nonetheless, Go Giants.
“It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone. ”
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Joe Maddon is the new manager of the Chicago Cubs, reportedly for about a 5 year, $25 million contract. Which might work out to over $8 million a year. #tradition #waituntilnextyear
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Jeb Bush has hit the metaphorical campaign trail, assailing Obama for his Ebola response, saying it “fueled fears that may not be justified.”So what the President really should have done to calm Americans was start shutting down the media? Starting with FOX News.
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Harold Reynolds last night during the World Series telecast called Bud Selig “the greatest (MLB) commissioner of all time.” Hard to imagine but someone did it. Proved they could be worse about baseball than Joe Buck,
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Not alas, the Onion. In Arizona, the Senate Judiciary Committee endorsed a bill that would allow employers to ask employees for proof that they are seeking contraceptives for purposes other than sex. (like acne, or hormone issues) and deny them coverage if they don’t comply. Where’s the bill to ban coverage for Viagra?
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Jerry Jones on whether Tony Romo will play next week. “This is a function of pain tolerance. And Cowboys fans during the Romo years are rolling their eyes and thinking “we know all about pain tolerance.”
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Poor Julius Randle. The Lakers rookie, who broke his leg in the season opener, will probably be out for the year. On a brighter note, next year Randle has a good chance of playing with a #1 draft pick.
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Bill Littlejohn, on Florida football coach Will Muschamp saying he’s adopting a bunker mentality: “Which one, Archie or Edith?”
Categories: baseball jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Cowboys jokes, janice houghgarner jokes, Lakers jokes, madison bumgarner jokes, Royals jokes, SF Giants jokes, World Series jokes
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October 28, 2014
This just in. ESPN experts predict winner of Wednesday’s SF Giants KC Royals game will win the World Series.
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SF Giants game 7 strategy? Wear out KC Royals bats in game 6?
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So ESPN wanted Derek Jeter to matter in the postseason. And who knows, the SF Giants, baseball’s most consistent unkillable cockroaches, may well win tomorrow. But home field advantage for this World Series was probably decided by Wainwright deciding to groove that farewell All-Star pitch….
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Only fun San Francisco fans are having tonight with #WorldSeries so far is thinking how dismal the ratings must be for #FOX at this point in Game 6. .#SFGiants
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Saddest story of this MLB postseason is of course Oscar Tavares. But his death apparently inspired two friends, Juan Perez and Yordano Ventura, to have the games of their lives. #WorldSeries
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Bus to hell time. TMZ is reporting that Jose Canseco blew his middle finger off his right hand while cleaning his handgun at home in Las Vegas. Well, not like he used it for fielding or anything.
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Taking time out from the World Series, send good wishes to Gordie Howe. Mr. Hockey, who at 86 is apparently recovering from a “serious stroke.” He was a dominant player in his sport longer than almost anyone. Yes, including Derek Jeter.-
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First NCAA playoff rankings out. 3 #SEC teams out of 4. Shocking to many. They expected 4 #SEC teams. #Collegefootballplayoff
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If NY & NJ really want to beat #Ebola, forget quarantine. Have folks returning from Africa join the #NYJets. None of them can catch anything.
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Dunkin’ Donuts is introducing a croissant-donut. But the chain maintains it is NOT a “Cronut.” Why? Because their lawyers said so.
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Sarah Palin “Those haters out there, they don’t understand that it invigorates me…. the more they’re pouring on the more I’m going to bug the crap out of them by being out there with a voice, with the message, hopefully running for office in the future, too.” Palin “haters” and comedy writers alike heard the last part and are thinking, “Promise?”
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At a Southern Baptist conference titled “The Gospel, Homosexuality and the Future of Marriage,” some speakers talked about being the voice of a moral minority because gay marriage is a “rejection of God’s law.” Wonder why some of these folks don’t also have conferences against heterosexual adultery and divorce?
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The #NBA season started Tuesday night. The Philadelphia #76ers will be eliminated from playoff contention tomorrow.
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Michael Jordan, majority owner of the Charlotte Hornets, says he is “dreaming” of a seventh NBA ring. Yep, “dreaming” is absolutely the correct word.
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Dwight Howard said today “I didn’t leave L.A. because I was afraid of Kobe Bryant.” More like Dwight was afraid of not making the playoffs.
Meanwhile, Lakers rookie Julius Randle, the team’s #1 pick, broke his right tibia during an opening night loss. Meaning alas Randle will likely be as helpful to this year’s team as Steve Nash.
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RG III might be ready to go back in as Washington’s quarterback for their next game as the team has a bye week coming up. And fans are now thinking, take a little more time to heal your ankle. A year or two to be safe.
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Dolly Parton, on her support of gay rights: “But as far as the Christians, if people want to pass judgment, they’re already sinning. The sin of judging is just as bad as any other sin they might say somebody else is committing. I try to love everybody.” As Dolly has also said, “I know I’m not dumb, and I know I’m not blonde.”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: cronut jokes, Ebola jokes, Game 7 jokes, gay marriage jokes, Janice Hough, Jeter jokes, NBA jokes, Royals jokes, SEC jokes, SF Giants jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
October 28, 2014
American Airlines cancelled a Los Angeles to London flight Sunday and passengers were kept onboard for hours when someone on board picked up a wi-fi hot sport named “Al-Quida Free Terror Nettwork.” Police said today that “no crime was committed.” Shouldn’t someone be charged with felony stupidity?
So as we approach game six of the #WorldSeries, it makes so much sense that home field advantage was decided by a midsummer exhibition game where the only Royals and Giants involved were Salvador Perez and Hunter Pence, with one AB each, and Greg Holland who pitched one inning.
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Oops, country singer Aaron Lewis, who as Deadspin noted criticized Christina Aguilera’s version of the Star Spangled Banner (“I don’t understand how people that sing the national anthem can be so f— self-obsessed that they would try to change that f— song.”), forgot the words last night at A T& T Park, singing the second line as “What so proudly we hailed were so gallantly streaming.”
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And apologies to my Dodgers fan friends for this. But it was too funny to resist.
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“Bachelor” Juan Pablo and his girlfriend Nikki have broken up. “I’m shocked,” said none of the three people who cared.
A recent CNN poll found that 53% disapprove of President Obama’s performance. Which puts him well ahead of Congress, which has an 85% disapproval rating.
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Some think Chris Christie’s tough guy style might be just what America needs against the Russians etc. But as of today it’s Nurse 1, Governor 0.
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The Crimson Tide Foundation, Alabama boosters, paid off Nick Saban’s $3.1 million home last year and are paying property taxes each year. Of course if the NONPROFIT foundation bought dinner for some players the kids would be suspended.
University of Florida coach Will Muschamp complained today. “Well, you’ve got to get home and explain to your 9-year-old why they’re chanting to fire your dad.” So guess Muschamp’s 9-year-old doesn’t watch the games?
NY Jets GM John Idzik said in rambling press conference he is not concerned about his job security. That’s it. Forget the team’s record, that statement alone says that Idzik is too dumb to be GM.
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Meanwhile, add Colt McCoy to a long list of QBs who appear to be better than Geno Smith.
#Cowboys release #MichaelSam and promptly lose to #Washington? Maybe God isn’t that upset with gays in the locker room? #Rainbowkarma
Who says #Dodgers & #SFGiants fans can’t get along?. I think we all were thrilled tonight to see the #Cowboys lose.
So if we’re quarantining threats to the public, when can we start quarantining firearms owners who haven’t taken classes in gun safety?
So you think your parents messed you up. An unidentified person posted an Instagram photo this weekend of a small child wearing a Ray Rice costume and dragging a doll. The caption “Greatest costume ever.” The picture has been taken down.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: airline jokes, Alabama jokes, Chris Christie jokes, Florida jokes, Janice Hough, Jets jokes, SEC jokes, The Bachelor jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
October 27, 2014
The Reverend Hunter Pence, giving the field his pre-game blessing before World Series Game 5.
What was all this MVP chant late in game 5? Madison Bumgarner did go 0-4 tonight at the plate And he was not happy about it.
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And at one point tonight there was a nice play by Brandon Belt when Bumgarner forgot to cover first. Wonder if Madbum, a rancher in the off season, will offer Belt a cow as a thank you. #SFGiants. #WorldSeries
As a child fell seriously in love with baseball as #Detroit Tigers fan in 1968. So good to see #MADBUM channel #mickeylolich #WorldSeries
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Personally retired the “Automatic Out” nickname for #juanperez after the #NLDS. That nickname is now permanently retired. #Sfgiants #worldseries
Country singer Aaron Lewis forgot the words to the National Anthem tonight at A T& T Park, singing the second line as , “What so proudly we hailed were so gallantly streaming.” Jeff Passan of Yahoo Sports nailed this one. “For someone who has DON’T TREAD ON ME tattooed on his neck, Aaron Lewis might want to learn his national anthem before he tries it again.”
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Chicago DE Lamarr Houston injured himself celebrating a sack of New England’s backup QB in the 4th quarter of the Patriots’ rout of the Bears Sometimes the universe itself provides the best penalty for excessive celebration.
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The NFL has announced there will be 5 games in London next year. But NY Jets fans are asking if London will take all their remaining home games THIS year.
Michigan players put a spear into the field at Spartan Stadium before their 35-11 loss to MSU. Seems like the Wolverines might be better served by learning how to put the ball into the end zone.
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Breaking news, #NYJets fans ask Gov. Cuomo and Gov. Christie if they can quarantine #GenoSmith
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Jeb Bush’s son said today now it’s “more than likely” that his father will run for president in 2016. God Bless America. Thank goodness we don’t live in a banana republic where power is only in the hands of a few families.
Meanwhile, the New Orleans Saints staked their claim to be the best 3-4 team in the NFL, beating Green Bay 43-22. Though apparently both defenses took the night off – there were no punts by either team, the third time that’s happened in NFL history
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And now for a little sad perspective on the fact that it is after all just a game. St. Louis star rookie Oscar Taveras, dead in a car accident. Only 22 years old. He hit a game tying home run against the Giants in an NLCS game that the Cardinals ended up winning. His only postseason home run as it turned out. He and Juan Perez were good friends. Nice story here from Newsday.
http://www.newsday.com/sports/columnists/david-lennon/oscar-taveras-death-lessens-joy-of-world-series-1.9549640
Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: bumgarner jokes, Janice Hough, Jets jokes, madbum jokes, NFL jokes, World Series jokes
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October 26, 2014
SF Giants are undefeated in games in which Mo’Ne Davis throws out the first pitch.
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My Twitter post at 430p today…. Lucky guess? .#Stanford‘s moribund offense woke up today against #oregonstate. Maybe a good omen for #SFGiants offense. #WorldSeries”
So who figured that the SF Giants would outscore both LSU and Ole Miss tonight.
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World Series game four did last four hours exactly. Hope this isn’t an omen for game five.
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USA Today’s Bob Nightengale led his game 4 World Series story about the SF Giants’ win “Those loveable little, pesky cockroaches, you just can’t kill ’em.”
How long until they start selling stuffed cockroaches at A T & T Park.?
The Kansas City Royals had them trapped
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One weird thing at #WorldSeries. The out-of-town scoreboard is blank. #SFGiants
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Need a reason to root for the #SFGiants?. Apparently their being in the World Series upset Kanye West’s plans to take over AT&T park for a private concert as a birthday present for Kim Kardashian.
(as my friend Marty B. said, then it would be T &A ballpark.)
And after a great sports day with Stanford and SF Giants both winning, saw USC lose to Utah 24-21 on a touchdown pass with 8 seconds left. #asgoodasitgets
(although, to be fair. Oregon State alums who live in Kansas City with kids going to USC were not happy today.)
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New York’s LaGuardia Airport was the only one in America to make the top ten in a list of the “World’s Worst Airports”. And LaGuardia came in at 10th. Another way in which we’re losing U.S. exceptionalism?
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Stay classy, Texas. This tweet from Ted Cruz’s Deputy Chief of Staff, Nick Muzin, tweeted Thursday “Before Obamacare there had never been a confirmed case of Ebola in the United States.”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: cockroach jokes, Janice Hough, Royals jokes, SF Giants jokes, Texas jokes, World Series jokes
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October 25, 2014
Oops. Broncos practice squad player John Boyett, arrested for public intoxication in Denver, told police to “contact my boss, John Elway.” Make that “former boss.” The Broncos cut him yesterday.
If you smoke, don’t text…. A Georgia man, apparenty running low on his supply, sent a text asking “You have some weed?” He accidentally sent the text to his probation officer….. Oops. He is now back behind bars.
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As a Stanford grad, really hated to be rooting against a Cardinal pitcher in the World Series. (Jeremy Guthrie) But life is a series of tough choices. #SFGiants.
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A home run in the 6th inning for Pablo Sandoval with 1 on and San Francisco down 1 run might have priced the Panda out of the Giants league in 2015 as a free agent. But would have been okay with it. #oneyearatatime
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Tampa Bay manager Joe Maddon exercised his opt-out clause with the Rays, and is rumored to be going to the Cubs. Maybe now that he’s turned 60, Maddon just wants to be sure of having Octobers off.
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ToysRUs removes Breaking Bad Action Figures from stores. At least parents can still buy wholesome Mortal Kombat figures & video games. #WTF?
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Shocking, we’ve actually found a depth that reality TV won’t sink to….TLC has cancelled “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” because Mama June is dating a recently released convicted child molester. (Of course, there’s still time for another network to pick the show up.)
Hell is freezing over. I agree with #haroldreynolds . He said “The National League is a better game.” #WorldSeries #SFGiants
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So a health worker arriving from West Africa with no symptoms has been quarantined for 21 days under a new mandatory policy announced by Governors Andrew Cuomo and Chris Christie. Meanwhile, at least one student plus alleged shooter dead in at a high school near Seattle. Think there will be any changes with gun control?
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So while we are freaking out about Ebola, a San Diego State student died Saturday from meningitis, which is also spread by close contact. And apparently this poor young woman was in a sorority and went to two frat parties a few days before she had symptoms…. But we aren’t quarantining Southern California, yet.
T. C. on American tobacco company RJ Reynolds instituting a no-smoking policy at all its offices. “In related news, the manufacturer of ex-lax has removed all the restrooms from its buildings.”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: crooks are stupid jokes, Ebola jokes, Janice Hough, marijuana jokes, NFL jokes, ToysRUs jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
October 23, 2014
“Experts” haven’t done very well with MLB postseason predictions. Though many of them are now confidently predicting that either the winner of game 1 or game 2 will end up World Series Champions.
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It’s not just baseball. USA Today announced their seven experts’ picks for this weekend in the NFL, along with their pre-season predictions for the Super Bowl. The picks? Two for the Patriots, two for the Seahawks, two for the Saints and one for the Packers. #throwingdarts?
In a Chevrolet commercial Mo’ne Davis talks about being a girl and throwing 70 mph. And somewhere Barry Zito is just weeping.
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So ratings are down for the World Series? Bummer for FOX. Of course, they could have done something radical like actually showing more than a few playoff games earlier this October on network television.
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Careerbuilders just released their list of the year’s Top 10 ridiculous excuses for calling in sick. #2. “Employee caught their uniform on fire by putting it in the microwave to dry.” And millions of Americans are thinking “Wow, okay, so you can’t do that?”
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Dogs tackled the latest White House fence jumper and police were able to arrest him. Hmm, if the Secret Service just upgrades the dog commands from “stop” we might have fewer security breaches and a reduced K-9 pet food bill.
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Michigan announced that their 2015 student season passes to all football games, now $280, will be $175. And many fans responded, “You’re paying us, right?”
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South Carolina House Speaker Bobby Harrell resigned today after pleading guilty to six counts of misconduct in office charges over taking campaign money for his personal use. The former speaker received a suspended sentence with probation and must pay the the $93,958 back plus a $30,000 fine. $93,958?!!. Theft of over $2000 is felony grand larceny in the state. So who does Harrell think he is, a football player?
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Oscar Pistorius is apparently crying himself to sleep in prison. “I feel so sorry for him.” said nobody.
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A Delta airplane and a Delta Connection plane clipped wings at Minneapolis Airport while one was taxiing and the other was backing out from the gate. No injuries, and the airline responded ” Safety is always Delta’s top priority.” Well, maybe second from the top, after saving money by outsourcing ground personnel jobs to near minimum wage workers.
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Lakers president Jeanie Buss says “Any free agent that would be afraid to play with Kobe Bryant is probably a loser.” Well, at this point either that or said player might have some crazy dream of going to the NBA playoffs.
Another thought about this substitute teacher accused of having sex with a high school student. Times have changed. Most fun we had in our day with a substitute was games with fake names for attendance. Mickey Mouse, Ima Nutt, etc. And the famous Dick Hertz. (Which would lead to the roll call and no one answering… then if we were lucky “Okay, who’s Dick Hertz?”) #TBT
Reports are that Steve Nash will be out for the entire 2014-15 NBA season with nerve issues. Shocking. You mean Steve Nash hasn’t already retired?
The first #Ebola case has been diagnosed in in #NewYorkCity. Uh oh, this could mean a media frenzy.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes
Tags: Fox jokes, Giants jokes, Janice Hough, Lakers jokes, Pistorious jokes, Steve Nash jokes, White House jokes, World Series jokes
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October 23, 2014
Would really be worth watching the in-game interviews if one day some ball player snaps and just says “STFU with the stupid questions and let’s just watch the game.” #WorldSeries
On a brighter note for #SFGiants #Posey wasn’t thrown out again at the plate tonight. #WorldSeries
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Giants reliever Hunter Strickland got into a shouting match with Royals catcher Santiago Perez. FOX was really disappointed. Had it escalated into a full scale brawl ratings would have been better.
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But okay, . So before game 1, the Royals seemed to be clear favorites with a bullpen that made the 7-9th innings irrelevant. Then it was going to be a Giants sweep. Tonight “the pesky Kansas City Royals fought back from a Game 1 flop to beat the San Francisco Giants’ brilliant bullpen.” ESPN and FOX analysis makes Brett Favre look decisive.
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#whythereisnosatire In 2015, Camel cigarette maker Reynolds American Inc. will start prohibiting the use of cigarettes, cigars or pipes in the company’s offices, conference rooms and elevators.
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Safari bookings in Kenya have apparently dropped up to 70% because of Ebola fears. Despite the fact that Kenya is over 3000 miles from Liberia. This is as if overseas tourists started avoiding New York because of earthquake fears in California. #lookataglobepeople!
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The new President and COO of Norwegian Cruise line came from Darden, where he was COO of Olive Garden restaurants. Well, that ought to do wonders for the image of cruise ships having mediocre food.
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Who says football isn’t educational. The Florida Gators have replaced their starting QB with a true freshman. And a number of players now may learn the historical story behind the phrase “replacing deck chairs on the Titanic.
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The NCAA just stated that the Mo’ne Davis’s Chevy commercial won’t affect her amateur status should the 13 year old want to play college sports. The statement concludes “While this situation is unusual, the flexible approach utilized in this decision is not.” In other words, we want to be at least as fair to Mo’ne as we would be to an SEC Heisman winner.
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A judge ruled that Roger Goodell must testify at the hearing on Ray Rice’s appeal of his indefinite suspension. So that will settle it, when he gets asked direct questions, why would anyone doubt Goodell’s honesty?
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Kim Kardashian, in an interview with ES magazine on daughter North West ‘She will have to work for what she wants’, just like Kim herself did. And she said it with a straight face.
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-In Washington, D.C., a 22 year-old substitute teacher allegedly had sex with a football player student, 17, on her first day of school. Wow. And here some say substitutes can never match up to regular teachers.
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How can you really top some statements with a punchline? Fox News’ Kimberly Guilfoyle, saying that young women don’t have the proper “life experience” such as having kids and paying bills that allows older women to make informed decisions, whether in the voting booth or the courtroom. “They’re like healthy and hot and running around without a care in the world, so they should be “excused” so “they can go back on Tinder or Match.com.”
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From Bill Littlejohn “Report–Texas is to pay scholarship athletes 10K per year.Why the pay cut?”
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Finally on a serious note, one of those times you hope there is a hell. Because there should be a special circle of it for someone who shoots an unarmed soldier guarding a war memorial. #Ottawa.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Ebola jokes, Giants jokes, Janice Hough, Kardashian jokes, NCAA jokes. Mo'ne Davis jokes, Strickland jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
October 21, 2014
Really good of #JoeBuck to educate us repeatedly on how the #SFGiants are without #AngelPagan, a vital part of their team. #WorldSeries
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A few weeks after Matt Cain’s perfect game in 2012 I got upgraded on a plane and seated next to Karl Ravech. Told him that as impressive as Cain was, along with Cy Young winner Lincecum, I didn’t think either of them would end up being the best of the Giants’ current pitchers. Might not have been my worst hunch ever. #Madbum.
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Really a shame #WorldSeries game 1 is in an American League park. #Madbum is probably upset that he hasn’t had a chance to bat. #SFGiants
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And we thought Jeter was precocious? #MadisonBumgarner turned 25 on Aug 1. he is pitching in his third #WorldSeries. #SFGiants
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Is #BusterPosey trying to set a record for being thrown out at home in the postseason?
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The Kansas City Royals are a great story. But as to the die-hard long-suffering fan narrative? The team ranked 25th in attendance this year. 25th. #bandwagon #Worldseries
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Dallas has waived #MichaelSam from their practice squad. Well, at least I can go back to hating the #Cowboys again.
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Taylor Swift is now doing marketing promos for Subway. How long until she breaks off the partnership and writes a song about it for Quiznos?
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Anthony Weiner told Politico that his career in politics “is probably over.”‘ What was his first clue?
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Tim Tebow, on the woeful Florida Gators: “One of the biggest problems on the offense is leadership.” And fans are thinking “What leadership?”
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In Florida, there’s a lot of voting by mail. One contentious issue this year is “Amendment 2,” which would legalize medical marijuana. It’s expected to be close — advocates are just hoping many supporters send their ballots back BEFORE the election.
(as my friend Jim M.. says “Dude, where’s my vote?”)
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Oscar Pistorius was sentenced to five years for killing his girlfriend. Under South African law, after 10 months, 1/6 of his sentence, he can ask for house arrest. When all this is over wonder Oscar’s friends have warned him not to come to the U.S. and steal any of his memorabilia…
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Love it. Rwanda’s Ministry of Health will screen all visitors who have been in the United States or Spain 22 days before arrival. Travelers will have their temperatures taken and anyone with a fever will be denied entry; others will have to report their health daily. Maybe to be safe the rest of the world should start quarantining Texans?
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Legendary Washington Post editor Ben Bradlee, 93, has died. For the younger generation, yes, there was a time when people actually got their news from newspapers, and when we were shocked that politicians really were crooks,
Had Renee Zellwegger had her work done during the filming of Jerry Maguire, the movie might have ended, “Hello, I’m looking for my wife…. Uh, who the hell are you?”
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes
Tags: Florida jokes, Janice Hough, Joe Buck jokes, Michael Sam jokes, Renee Zellwegger jokes, Royals jokes, SFGiants jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
October 20, 2014
Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly is still complaining about the pass interference call against his team, basically over an illegal “pick play” that sealed FSU’s win Saturday night. Can we start referring to this as a “sacramental whine?”
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There are reports that Bruce Jenner is dating Kris Jenner’s good friend Ronda Kamihira. Kris is reportedly shocked, she didn’t realize Ronda was a lesbian.
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Monica Lewinsky, speaking at the “Forbes’ Under 30 Summit”” against cyber-bullying – “Sixteen years ago, fresh out of college…I fell in love with my boss.” Well, yeah, cyber-bullying is awful. And poor girl, she had no way to know her boss was married…..
Oscar de la Renta has died at the age of 82. Most women are thinking, “Sad, it’s the end of an era.” Most men are thinking “What team did he play for?”
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After Peyton Manning’s 509th TD pass, Broncos receivers played “keep away” with the ball. Funny, that’s the same game Jets receivers usually seem to play when Geno Smith throws to them.
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Apparently after yesterday’s loss to the Miami Dolphins, Chicago Bears WR Brandon Marshall called out quarterback Jay Cutler. And long-time Bears fans said “What took you so long?”
(From my friend Alex B. “Responded Cutler: ‘Well if you’d just stand still, I could accurately throw you the ball!’!”
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On World Series Eve, trying to remember all the national derision when Wild Card teams made it to, and even won, the Super Bowl. Oh, that’s right…. there wasn’t any.
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Texans and Steelers were on Monday Night Football. Two teams that are about as appealing to a national audience as the Royals and Giants in the World Series.
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Louisville basketball coach Rick Pitino tweeted: “I truly believe we will beat Florida State (in football) … I haven’t been this excited for a football game in a long time.” Hmm, has anyone checked that man for concussions?
Burlington Elementary School just banned students from bringing any food, including birthday cake, to school birthday celebrations. The rationale, sending a message “to the parents and kids, especially with the obesity rate being so high.” Another example of an overly PC blue state, right? Wrong. The school is in Kentucky.
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CNN headlines “Glimmers of hope in fight against Ebola: Nigeria and Senegal are Ebola-free. A Spanish nurse’s aide has beaten Ebola. And Dallas has cleared dozens from Ebola monitoring.” Does this mean it’s time for the GOP to start talking about Benghazi again?
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Too simplistic, but awfully tempting just to vote on propositions solely based just on who is paying for the ads for and against them.
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Ah Texas. Attorney General Greg Abbott, running for Governor, was asked about interracial marriage and gave a vague answer. When a reporter said she “wasn’t clear if he was saying he would have defended a ban on interracial marriage.” Abbott replied, “Actually, the reason why you’re uncertain about it is because I didn’t answer the question. And I can’t go back and answer some hypothetical question like that.’” I SO miss Molly Ivins…
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes
Tags: Bruce Jenner jokes, Cutler jokes, Janice Hough, MNF jokes, monica lewinsky jokes, Notre Dame jokes, Peyton Manning jokes, World Series joke
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October 19, 2014
The Cowboys’ Joseph Randle, arrested for shoplifting underwear last week, has now signed an endorsement deal with MeUndies, an underwear company. So how long until Jameis Winston signs with Red Lobster?
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Open note to haters. If God really is anti-gay, then how to explain the team that signed Michael Sam to their practice squad having a better season than even their hard core fans could have imagined? #Cowboys
(And no, I am STILL not a Dallas fan. But credit where credit is due.)
Will all these people complaining about an 88 win team playing a 87 win team in the World Series please consider that the “better” MLB teams have a 2 and 16 record in the 2014 postseason against the Kansas City Royals and the SF Giants..
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The Keene, NH, Pumpkin Festival turned into a riot last night, and police had to use tear gas and pepper spray to disperse the crowd. So do we add pumpkin to the list of gateway drugs?.
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Peyton Manning threw his 508th career TD pass today, tying Brett Favre’s NFL record. Asked to comment, especially after watching some other QBs today, Favre responded “well, 508 is my total, so far.”
FSU coach Jimbo Fisher after beating Notre Dame. “This team has tremendous what I call ‘adversity tolerance.” Over-under on how many Seminoles players can spell “adversity tolerance”?
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On a brighter note these days, especially after last’s night debacle in Tempe, at least Stanford fans don’t have to worry any more about all those “David Shaw being lured to the NFL rumors.”
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But on the other hand, Notre Dame is upset because their game comes down to a controversial referee decision. And the rest of college football is trying not to giggle.
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Spain’s “Special Ebola Committee” says that the nurse aide who had contracted Ebola is now free of the virus. Although why should we let a little good news get in the way of serious hysteria.
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Here we go again, now it’s Rep. Peter King demanding Obama must immediately ban on anyone traveling from West African countries with Ebola to the USA. Now, first, there are visa issues. But if anyone IS in one of those countries who is either a U.S. citizen or has a green card or U.S visa, well, of course they wouldn’t think of buying two or more separate tickets to get around such a ban, would they?
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Meanwhile from Alex Kaseberg: ” The Canadian Ebola vaccine looks very promising. If Canada can rid themselves of Justin Bieber, they can get rid of anything.”
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R.I.P. Nashville songwriter Paul Craft, 76. He wrote for the Eagles, Linda Ronstadt, and Ray Stevens. And he did write the country song with perhaps the greatest title ever, “Dropkick me Jesus. (Through the Goalposts of Life.)
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Cowboys jokes, Ebola jokes, Jameis Winston jokes, Janice Hough, NFL jokes, Notre Dame joke, Peyton Manning jokes, pumpkin jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
October 19, 2014
And some people still think football players don’t need math skills. Tulane QB Nick Montana spiked the ball today near the end of the first half to stop the clock. On fourth down….. #Oops
Texas A&M QB Kenny Hill has filed for the trademark Kenny Trill, “Trill” apparently being a new word meaning “true and real.” So after today’s 59-0 blowout by Alabama does that mean it’s “true” that A&M is “real”ly over-rated?
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Notre Dame game winning TD against FSU called back for offensive pass interference. Guess the Fighting Irish couldn’t bring their own officiating crew from South Bend
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#WestVirginia upsets Baylor. And the Mountaineers will be getting flower deliveries from every one-loss #SEC school. #BAYvsWVU .
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Oklahoma’s star senior kicker Michael Hunnicutt missed a potential game winning 19 yd field goal, after missing a 32 yd attempt earlier, and having a extra point blocked. If the Sooners end up playing Stanford in a bowl there won’t be enough Maalox in the country for fans of both teams during place kicks.
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Although be careful what you wish for. No doubt many Stanford football fans were hoping tonight’s game against ASU wouldn’t come down to a field goal attempt by Jordan Williamson..
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Blake Griffin said he is frustrated over continued hard fouls, and “probably” will start retaliating if they continue. Could result in a big jump in Clippers’ TV ratings….
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So its now harder to vote than to buy a gun in #Texas.
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If seniors weren’t traditionally conservative voters have to figure Republicans would be trying to stop all this early voting in Florida. With the excuse that some percentage of these voters won’t still be alive on election day.
Interesting #FSUvsND matchup, One QB coming off a year’s suspension, another looking like he deserves one.
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President Obama today on Ebola “This is a serious disease, but we can’t give in to hysteria or fear — because that only makes it harder to get people the accurate information they need. We have to be guided by the science.” Science? Really? That’s it. Now FOX News is really convinced the President isn’t a real American.
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Spectacular. According to Texas’s new Voter ID laws, a veteran’s ID or student ID will NOT be acceptable as identification, even with photos on them. A concealed handgun license IS acceptable. Can we just let them secede NOW?
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For all those who think baseball is boring, thanks to Dwight Perry for this from Vox.com – The breakdown of a Cincinnati-New England televised NFL game on Oct 6::
. Players standing around between plays: 35.5 percent
• Commercials: 24.5 percent
• Replays: 10.7 percent
• Coach shots: 4.9 percent
• Referee shots: 3.2 percent
• Halftime: 3.2 percent
• Sideline player shots: 2.2 percent
• On-screen promotions: 2 percent
• Other (crowd shots, cheerleaders): 5.5 percent
Actual football being played? 8.3 percent.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: BCS jokes, college football jokes, Janice Hough, Notre Dame jokes, Obama jokes, SEC jokes, Stanford jokes, Texas jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
October 18, 2014
The Seahawks are going to trade WR Percy Harvin to the NY Jets. Seattle will apparently receive a conditional draft pick in 2015. Harvin will receive the month of January off.
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Apparently the James Spence Authentication company, has authenticated more than 2,000 signatures from FSU QB Jameis Winston. Hey, maybe the guy’s majoring in penmanship?
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25 years ago October 17 was the Loma Prieta Earthquake. At section 21 at Candlestick Park I must confess, my first thought was “Bleeping A’s fans doing the wave.”
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So now a Carnival Cruise ship has been forbidden to dock in Belize because a passenger on board helped care for the Ebola patient in Dallas. Well, and if vomiting is a symptom of the disease no chance of any of that on a “Fun Ship…”
Who says the #NYJets can’t be first in anything this year? The NY Post reports “According to the Elias Sports Bureau, the Jets are the first team in NFL history to lose a game with 40 minutes of time of possession (40:54), 200 rushing yards (218) and no turnovers.”
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A Texan tourist was accidentally locked in a London bookstore for three hours when he walked in late and didn’t notice that the Waterstones store was closing. And all over Texas people are going “see, books are dangerous!”
A Michigan funeral home has started a new “drive-through” viewing service, so people don’t have to get out of their cars to pay their last respects. And if they text while they are driving through do potential customers get future discounts?
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No baseball for next four days. :(. Might have to just keep rewatching win from last night.
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Retired FSU coach Bobby Bowden just said that Jameis Winston “does things that kids in grammar school would do.” And plenty of parents are thinking “Hey, our grammar school kids behave better than that.”
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All this fear mongering over a major health hazard facing about to hit the USA just might be overblown. And besides, the McDonald’s McRib will only be rolled out regionally.
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Despite an expected legal challenge from the NFL, Gov. Chris Christie signed a bill that allows sports betting at casinos and racetracks in New Jersey. Guess the league thinks if fans want to throw away money they should go to Jets and Giants games.
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Apparently almost 60 percent of the almost 1 million early votes cast in this year’s midterm elections are in Florida. Well, duh, and how many of them were cast early enough in the day for voters to make it to those early bird specials?
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Heard on a train to San Francisco with 20 somethings discussing reading. “On paper? You mean like a book form?”.
From Bill Littlejohn: “According to a CNN.com report, you can now rent a virtual girlfriend in China for about $3. ‘Now they tell me,’ said Manti T’eo.”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Carnival Cruise jokes, Ebola jokes, Florida jokes, Harvin jokes, Jameis Winston jokes, janice jokes, Jets jokes, McRib jokes, NYJets jokes, Texas jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
October 17, 2014
SF Giants chicks are back to digging the long ball.
Congrats to Travis Ishikawa. Most Americans had no clue who he was yesterday, and now he’s trending on Twitter.
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No Cain, no Pagan, no Scutaro. Effectively no Lincecum. And no Belt or Morse for much of the year. #cockroaches #sfgiants. #worldseries
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Somewhere Bob Brenly is smiling. #redemption #SFGiants #WorldSeries
But the lead column on Fox Sports tonight. “If you think Matheny deserves to be ripped, you’re right.” Because of course Joe Buck’s network couldn’t say the SF Giants actually might have deserved to win this one.
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Back in June heard SFGiants GM Brian Sabean say how Joe Panik wasn’t ready for the big leagues yet. Hard to imagine how good the kid might be when he IS ready.
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A new study finds that four areas of the San Andreas Fault in Northern California are now “overdue” for a significant quake. So why should Ebola have all the fear fun?
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Apparently Florida Gov. Rick Scott refused to start his debate against Charlie Crist when Crist had a fan under the podium, because of a ban against electronic devices. ( Which was intended to keep them from using computers-laptops-phones….)
Got it. So Scott would have been okay with Crist waving a big paper fan while he talked?
How amazing was the #SFGiants win tonight to get to the #WorldSeries? They knocked the #NYJets latest loss right off #ESPN front page.
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Ann Romney said today she is still “done” with the idea of Mitt running again, but added “you know, you never do say never.” “Atta girl,” said Brett Favre.
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A judge found Donald Trump “personally liable” for knowingly operating his former Trump University without a license. So the Donald is in trouble because HE didn’t have a valid certificate.
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Seems like many of the same people whose retirement plan is to win the lottery are also convinced they’re going to get Ebola.
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Both LeBron James and Dirk Nowitzski are saying the NBA season should be shortened from 82 games. Good thing they are stars, otherwise the two might be fined for making too much sense.
From T.C. “The NBA is considering shortening their games from 48 to 44 minutes. I’d go with 46, as it’s the last two minutes that take forever.”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Ebola jokes, NBA jokes, NLCS jokes, Romney jokes, SF Giants jokes, World Series jokes
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October 15, 2014
KC Royals pitcher Jeremy Guthrie apologized for wearing a T-shirt saying “These O’s aint’ Royal” — a pun on a Chris Brown song. Yeah, really unfair this week to compare Baltimore to Chris Brown, the O’s weren’t hitting anything.
Congrats to Kansas City. Now FOX has a whole week to convince potential viewers that Royals really are America’s Team
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The Royals scored their two runs to win today in the first inning without a hit out of the infield. Who do they think they are, the #SFGiants?
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SF Giants have scored 22 runs in their last 6 post season games. Of those, 10 runs were scored by way of a hit. #smokeandmirrors
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So wonder what Andrew Friedman’s first act running the Dodgers will be. Other than trying just to buy the Royals
-On “The Jim Rome Show,” Bo Jackson said Jameis Winston is ignoring his advice. “I have communicated with him, and I just talked to him like I was his dad.” Yeah, and Winston is probably listening to Jackson about as much as many cocky 20 year olds listen to their dads
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Florida State coach Jimbo Fisher said they are confident Jameis Winston wasn’t paid for autographing memorabilia. And F$U has million$ of rea$on$ to believe that.
Actual items in a grocery ad today. Pumpkin Spice Salsa, Pumpkin Pasta Sauce, Pumpkin BBQ Sauce and, no joke, Organic Pumpkin Pet Food…. Anyone but me counting the days until Halloween and this pumpkin craziness is over?
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Dallas Cowboys coach Jason Garrett said RB Joseph Randle will be fined significantly for his shoplifting arrest. Wonder if the exact amount of the fine will depend on whether or not Garrett shoplifted NFL approved merchandise.
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Ebola is not contagious through the air. But after a second nurse with the virus was found to have flown on Frontier Airlines from Cleveland to Dallas, Frontier issued a statement saying “the aircraft received a thorough cleaning per our normal procedures.” “Normal procedures.” Yeah, that’s what Americans are afraid of…..
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Wonder how many Americans are getting so stressed out about #Ebola that they are taking up smoking?
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Meanwhile, many in the GOP are calling for President Obama to appoint an Ebola “czar.” So they can then turn around and say how bad a job that czar is doing.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes
Tags: Ebola jokes, Jameis Winston jokes, Janice Hough, NFL jokes, Orioles jokes, Royals jokes, SF Giants jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
October 14, 2014
Texas Gov. Rick Perry, speaking in London, telling his English audience “You always sound so darn smart and refined no matter what you’re saying.” And no doubt many in the crowd are thinking “It’s not just the accent that makes you sound so dumb.”
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But also let me get this straight, in Texas, they are upset that the CDC and President Obama haven’t done more against Ebola. Mark this down, Texans are Cocomplaining that the Federal Government hasn’t done enough to interfere in their state.
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Really? Cowboys RB Joseph Randle was arrested last night for shoplifting underwear and cologne in at a local Dillard’s. Wonder if the reaction in Dallas front office was, well at least he didn’t hit anybody.
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Apple and Facebook will now cover the costs for women employees who want to freeze their eggs and delay having children. Makes sense, why use those young and energetic years for motherhood when you can work 80 hour weeks for your company?
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We’re coming up on the 25th anniversary of the Oct 17, 1989 “World Series” earthquake. Wow. They actually used to play the World Series during mid-October?
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Alabama TE Kurt Freitag’s status is probably in jeopardy after police searched his dorm room last week and allegedly found 112 grams of marijuana and $4,661 in cash. Thinking this sort of thing presents a major recruiting opportunity for Colorado and the University of Washington.
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Dodgers have now hired Andrew Friedman from the Tampa Bay Rays as their new president of baseball operations. Well, money can’t buy happiness. But Friedman may be about to see it also can’t buy chemistry.
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Tickets for the Cal vs Oregon football game next Friday at Levi’s Stadium are now 2/3 off at Groupon. Might be a good time to check the place out. With Cal’s defense and Oregon’s offense there probably shouldn’t be too much traffic leaving late in the 4th quarter.
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The SF Giants are doing their best to give all baseball fans in the Bay Area a free cardiac stress test. #NLCS
#SFGiants won at 4 20. Anyone see what Lincecum might have been doing to start a rally in the dugout?
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Anyone know how many ways there are to score without a base hit in baseball? #SFGiants seem bound and determined to show us ALL of them.
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The Royals were almost never on ESPN or FOX during the season, and they still aren’t. But watching them the last couple weeks I find it hard to believe that this team ever lost.
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Meanwhile for SF Giants (and St. Louis Cardinals) fans who were watching tonight’s KC Royals and Orioles game – – Amazing how much fun close game is when your heart isn’t set on one outcome. #NLCS #ALCS
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The NHL Florida Panthers announced attendance of 7,311 last night. Or as the Montreal Expos used to call that, a packed house.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes
Tags: Cowboys jokes, Ebola jokes, Janice Hough, marijuana jokes, NLCS jokes, Royals jokes, SF Giants jokes, Texas jokes, World Series jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
October 13, 2014
Game 3 of the ALCS was been postponed due to rain. Which means the lead sports story Monday was Monday Night Football. So at least that didn’t change.
The game was scheduled to be on TBS, had it been scheduled for ESPN no doubt the network would have run a “Derek Jeter’s greatest playoff moments” retrospective.
The Baltimore Orioles are no doubt particularly disappointed that Monday’s ALCS game was rained out and not just delayed. Playing in serious mud might be the only way to slow the Kansas City Royals rabbits down.
#Rams looked like they could use #MichaelSam on defense #49ers #MNF
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How can you not love #HunterPence? Apparently he made his own sign “Hunter Pence will work for ring.” #HunterPenceSigns #SFGiants
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NC State suspended 7 players this week for a “BB gun incident” involving a “game with the guns” last week. A game with guns? Wonder if the players were immediately offered transfer opportunities to schools in Texas or Florida?
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A photo has been circulating showing Ole Miss star DL Robert Nkemdiche allegedly using a bong. Coach Hugh Freeze says “appropriate measures were taken.” Translation, Nkemdiche has probably been suspended for the 1st quarter of the Nov. 8th game vs Presbyterian.
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So NBC News’ Dr. Nancy Snyderman’s violated an Ebola quarantine to get some SOUP at Peasant Grill in New Jersey. What’s the restaurant’s new slogan going to be “Soup worth dying for.”? #cantfixstupid
Wouldn’t it have been simpler for #jameiswinston if he just traded autographs for crab legs? #FSU
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The head of the NIH said that budget cuts might be the reason we don’t have an Ebola vaccine, which the agency has been working on over a decade. But really, why should we let all this fear and hysteria turn into a discussion about money and science?
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A psychologist said Oscar Pistorius is a “broken man” after shooting his girlfriend last year. Yeah, apparently the pain is affecting Pistorius’s relationship with the new girlfriend he met last December.
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A social worker testifying for the defense in the Oscar Pistorius trial said that an appropriate punishment for Pistorius would be 16 hours of community service, house arrest (in a mansion), and that he should be allowed to continue with his career as an athlete. Even Los Angeles juries are thinking “Are you nuts?”
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Points for honesty. Senator Mitch McConnell, who reported that he is worth $11.97 million, debated challenger Alison Grimes tonight, and argued against increasing the minimum wage. Grimes challenged McConnell about having become rich in office but not caring about the poor.
His response “To claim that I got rich at public expense — she knows that that’s a result of an inheritance that my wife got when her mother passed away.” In other words, I inherited my money fair and square.
Former NY Times executive editor Jill Abramson said that Condoleezza Rice asked the paper in 2003 to kill a story on the CIA not being able to stop Iran’s nuclear program. Standby for FOX News to explain to us all how Barack Obama really made her do it.
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And Columbus Day is over, a semi-holiday for most Americans with banks and the post office and some schools closed, but most offices open. And many want to change the name. But as Alex Kaseberg says “Personally I think we should stay with Columbus Day. Go to your job, do half of what you were supposed to do, declare it a huge success and then get as many people sick as you can.”
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes
Tags: ALCS jokes, Ebola jokes, FSU jokes, Jameis Winston jokes, Mitch McConnell jokes, MNF jokes, Nancy Synderman jokes, NCAA jokes, Oscar Pistorius jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
October 13, 2014
Since NLCS games 1 and 2 weres basically being called by St. Louis home town announcers can the SF Giants Mike Krukow and Duane Kuiper call game 3 for Fox Tuesday?
The advantage of watching #SFGiants on FOX. All game stress is mitigated by ability to scream at TV regularly due to idiocy of Joe Buck
(and the above two are not sour grapes, I wrote both lines when the Giants were tied or winning.)
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But okay, if anyone had told #SFGiants fans that their team would have given up four home runs on mistake pitches while hitting ZERO home runs themselves, and the team would be returning to AT&T tied 1-1, (with Yadier Molina probably out for the series), they would have been ecstatic.
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Taylor Swift quoted on the cover of People Magazine. “It would take an astonishing human being for me to even consider getting back in a relationship.” Well, either that or a bad case of writer’s block.
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As bad as day as the Jets had, this week they didn’t even look like the worst team in New York. Or rather, New Jersey.
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MSU #1 in the new coaches poll. Ole Miss #3. So a lot of sportswriters and copy editors are finally finding a use for that old M-I-S-S, I-S-S, I-P-P-I spelling chant from grade school.
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USC escaped with a 28-26 win Saturday night despite 13 fourth quarter points from Arizona when the Wildcats’ kicker missed his third FG of the game, a 36 yarder with 12 seconds left. Trojan coach Steve Sarkisian said “God’s got a plan, but we’re not exactly what his plan is for us yet.” And God said, “don’t blame me for all these lousy Pac12 placekickers.”
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Raiders fans egged the Chargers’ team bus as it arrived at O.co Stadium for today’s game. Fortunately, since this was Oakland, most of the eggs were intercepted.
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After last night’s NASCAR race in Charlotte, Matt Kenseth and Brad Keselowski ended up fighting in the garage. If this sort of thing starts happening near the track it could double ratings.
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Wonder how many Americans are so worried about #Ebola that they are now reading updates on their phones while driving?
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John McCain now wants a “health care czar.” And hey, the post of Surgeon General is vacant. Why? Because Dr. Vivek Murthy, President Obama’s November 2013 nomination, hasn’t been confirmed by the Senate. Murthy’s crime, upsetting the NRA by calling guns “a health care issue” in a 2012 tweet…. #haveyounoshame
Happy Canadian Thanksgiving. A day where Canadian residents with national healthcare and reasonable gun laws look at the U.S. and feel thankful they live where they do. Of course, there’s a reason this day is in October, well before Canada deals with actual winter.
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Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Cardinals jokes, college football jokes, Ebola jokes, Janice Hough, Joe Buck jokes, McCain jokes, NLCS jokes, SF Giants jokes, Taylor Swift jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
October 11, 2014
Gay marriage is now legal in Nevada. Which means that gays can now get drunk in Las Vegas and make the same quickie marriage mistakes that straights do.
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#FOX talking about how bad the #SFGiants are without Angel #Pagan. Kinda makes you wonder how they got into the #NLCS doesn’t it?
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So how did anyone ever beat the #KCRoyals during the regular season? And are the #Royals ever going to lose again? #ALCS
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Mike #Moustakas, #9 hitter in #kcroyals lineup has 4 postseason home runs. #SFGiants #Madbum is going to take that as a challenge.
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National TV ratings for #ALCS #NLCS would be better if ESPN & FOX paid attention to 4 remaining teams during regular season. #nottheyankees
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More than two dozen teenagers were arrested at opening night of the Arizona State Fair after a brawl broke out. If only they had been armed.
How has #Royals Lorenzo Cain not been on ESPN’s Top 10 plays and Web Gems every single night of the season?
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Bit of trivia from the Royals’ 10th inning win over the Orioles Friday night – the time of game. Four hours and 37 minutes. If Kansas City ever plays an 18 inning game like the SF Giants did the concession stands better have morning coffee ready.
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Stanford’s Red Zone offense for the football season is 679, which ranks 115th out of 125 FBS (D-1) teams. Shocking. There are 10 teams who are worse?
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FSU just notified Jameis Winston that he will face a disciplinary hearing into sexual assault charges from December 2012. Presume this hearing will take place 3-4 days after the BCS national championship game?
Yep, it is all Obama’s fault. This from Phyllis Schafly , “Out of all the things he’s done, I think this thing of letting these diseased people into this country to infect our own people is just the most outrageous of all. Obama doesn’t want America to believe that we’re exceptional. He wants us to be just like everybody else, and if Africa is suffering from Ebola, we ought to join the group and be suffering from it, too. #whythereisnosatire
One reason people are so scared about Ebola is not just that it is usually fatal but also how horrible the disease’s symptoms are in its final stages. Uh, have people read about the last days of smokers who die of lung cancer?
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: ALCS jokes, Ebola jokes, FSU jokes, gay marriage jokes, Janice Hough, KC Royals jokes, Royals jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
Left Coast Sports Babe 