Posted tagged ‘Peyton Manning jokes’

Happy -hoppy – endings?

March 7, 2016

Peyton Manning apparently will announce his retirement Monday. Presumably from outside a Papa John’s store with a case of Budweiser?

Forget Megyn Kelly. If we really want to make the men behave could Lady Mary or Dowager Countess moderate next ‪#‎GOPDebate‬? ‪#‎DowntonAbbey‬

Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders are. promising an issue-filled debate tonight. And millions of Americans are thinking “where’s the fun in that


#‎Bernie‬ and ‪#‎Hillary‬ actually got a little contentious in tonight’s debate.  GOP watchers were thinking “Wimps, where are the real insults, where are the  d*ck jokes?”

Bernie Sanders’  best line of the debate was talking about increasing mental health funding “and if you saw last week’s GOP debate, you know we need it.”




So when ‪#‎JustinTrudeau‬ gets done with being Canada’s Prime Minister can we borrow him?


Love at 1st sight or at least 1st inning for ‪#‎SFGiants‬ fans:  Jeff Samardzija strikes out Crawford, Pederson and Puig


Was at a party this afternoon and afterwards checked online to see how by much the ‪#‎Warriors‬ beat the ‪#‎Lakers‬  and ‪#‎WTF?


Today, was actually the first time an NBA team wore equipment to honor a live and active player, the Lakers wore special socks Bryant-themed socks with No. 2 on the right sock and No. 4 on the left.

Somewhere the Yankees and Derek Jeter are going “why didn’t we think of something like that”?

Reports are that Gregg ‪#‎Popovich‬ is looking into ordering a really big box of ‪#‎KobeBryant‬ socks ‪#‎Warriors‬ ‪#‎Spurs‬ ‪#‎NBAplayoffs‬

RIP Nancy Reagan. Wonder if it was all these candidates hijacking her husband’s party that killed her. ‪#‎whoknewReaganwouldlookmoderate‬?

Increasingly looking like the real ‪#‎Florida‬ joke is ‪#‎MarcoRubio‬ ‪#‎GOPPrimary‬

Give ‪#‎Trump‬ credit, his promises may be empty where most of the country is concerned. But he sure has helped make ‪#‎SNL‬ great again.

United’s CEO Oscar Munoz is returning to work after an October heart attack and surgery – a medical leave of five months. Curiously enough, that’s about the same amount of time the airline thinks is reasonable to find your luggage.


John Kasich has fired his campaign’s deputy digital director Blake Waggoner after it was reported he was arrested in Nov. 2015 after a woman accused him of choking her and punching her in the back. Sounds like the only adult in the GOP room hasn’t been paying enough attention to what his kids were doing.


Caityn Jenner, complaining about Hillary Clinton: “She couldn’t care less about women. She cares about herself.” So did Jenner make the comments while she was volunteering at something? No, on her reality show “I am Cait.”

From my funny friend Alex Kaseberg –  “Astronaut Scott Kelley returned after a year in space to find Madonna on tour, a Clinton running for president and the police testing OJ Simpson’s knife and he said;

“Stop screwing around. What year is it really?”


Still fighting Irish.

October 20, 2014

Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly is still complaining about the pass interference call against his team, basically over an illegal “pick play” that sealed FSU’s win Saturday night. Can we start referring to this as a “sacramental whine?”

There are reports that Bruce Jenner is dating Kris Jenner’s good friend Ronda Kamihira. Kris is reportedly shocked, she didn’t realize Ronda was a lesbian.

Monica Lewinsky, speaking at the “Forbes’ Under 30 Summit”” against cyber-bullying – “Sixteen years ago, fresh out of college…I fell in love with my boss.” Well, yeah, cyber-bullying is awful. And poor girl, she had no way to know her boss was married…..


Oscar de la Renta has died at the age of 82. Most women are thinking, “Sad, it’s the end of an era.” Most men are thinking “What team did he play for?”

After Peyton Manning’s 509th TD pass, Broncos receivers played “keep away” with the ball. Funny, that’s the same game Jets receivers usually seem to play when Geno Smith throws to them.

Apparently after yesterday’s loss to the Miami Dolphins, Chicago Bears WR Brandon Marshall called out quarterback Jay Cutler. And long-time Bears fans said “What took you so long?”

(From my friend Alex B.  “Responded Cutler: ‘Well if you’d just stand still, I could accurately throw you the ball!’!”

On World Series Eve, trying to remember all the national derision when Wild Card teams made it to, and even won, the Super Bowl. Oh, that’s right…. there wasn’t any.

Texans and Steelers were on Monday Night Football. Two teams that are about as appealing to a national audience as the Royals and Giants in the World Series.

Louisville basketball coach Rick Pitino tweeted: “I truly believe we will beat Florida State (in football) … I haven’t been this excited for a football game in a long time.” Hmm, has anyone checked that man for concussions?



Burlington Elementary School just banned students from bringing any food, including birthday cake, to school birthday celebrations. The rationale, sending a message “to the parents and kids, especially with the obesity rate being so high.” Another example of an overly PC blue state, right? Wrong. The school is in Kentucky.

CNN headlines “Glimmers of hope in fight against Ebola: Nigeria and Senegal are Ebola-free. A Spanish nurse’s aide has beaten Ebola. And Dallas has cleared dozens from Ebola monitoring.” Does this mean it’s time for the GOP to start talking about Benghazi again?

Too simplistic, but awfully tempting just to vote on propositions solely based just on who is paying for the ads for and against them.


Ah Texas. Attorney General Greg Abbott, running for Governor, was asked about interracial marriage and gave a vague answer. When a reporter said she “wasn’t clear if he was saying he would have defended a ban on interracial marriage.” Abbott replied, “Actually, the reason why you’re uncertain about it is because I didn’t answer the question. And I can’t go back and answer some hypothetical question like that.’” I SO miss Molly Ivins…

Let’s make a deal?

October 19, 2014

The Cowboys’ Joseph Randle, arrested for shoplifting underwear last week, has now signed an endorsement deal with MeUndies, an underwear company. So how long until Jameis Winston signs with Red Lobster?

Open note to haters. If God really is anti-gay, then how to explain the team that signed Michael Sam to their practice squad having a better season than even their hard core fans could have imagined? ‪#‎Cowboys‬

(And no, I am STILL not a Dallas fan. But credit where credit is due.)


Will all these people complaining about an 88 win team playing a 87 win team in the  World Series please consider that the “better” MLB teams have a 2 and 16 record in the 2014 postseason against the  Kansas City Royals and the SF Giants..

The Keene, NH, Pumpkin Festival turned into a riot last night, and police had to use tear gas and pepper spray to disperse the crowd. So do we add pumpkin to the list of gateway drugs?.

Peyton Manning threw his 508th career TD pass today, tying Brett Favre’s NFL record. Asked to comment, especially after watching some other QBs today, Favre responded “well, 508 is my total, so far.”


FSU coach Jimbo Fisher after beating Notre Dame. “This team has tremendous what I call ‘adversity tolerance.”  Over-under on how many Seminoles players can spell “adversity tolerance”?

On a brighter note these days, especially after last’s night debacle in Tempe,   at least Stanford fans don’t have to worry any more about all those “David Shaw being lured to the NFL rumors.”


But on the other hand, Notre Dame is upset because their game comes down to  a controversial  referee decision. And the rest of college football is trying not to giggle.

Spain’s “Special Ebola Committee” says that the nurse aide who had contracted Ebola is now free of the virus. Although why should we let a little good news get in the way of serious hysteria.

Here we go again, now it’s Rep. Peter King demanding Obama must immediately ban on anyone traveling from West African countries with Ebola to the USA. Now, first, there are visa issues. But if anyone IS in one of those countries who is either a U.S. citizen or has a green card or U.S visa, well, of course they wouldn’t think of buying two or more separate tickets to get around such a ban, would they?

Meanwhile from Alex Kaseberg:  ” The Canadian Ebola vaccine looks very promising. If Canada can rid themselves of Justin Bieber, they can get rid of anything.”



R.I.P. Nashville songwriter Paul Craft, 76. He wrote for the Eagles, Linda Ronstadt, and Ray Stevens. And he did write the country song with perhaps the greatest title ever, “Dropkick me Jesus. (Through the Goalposts of Life.)

Between brackets.

March 21, 2012

No NCAA men’s basketball tournament games until Thursday. Oh the horror. Millions of Americans wlll have to go into the office and actually work.

Peyton Manning has signed with the Denver Broncos. And Alex Smith has apparently re-signed with the San Francisco 49ers.Coach Jim Harbaugh says their relationship is “strong.” Got to love it – “Yeah, that really hot babe turned me down, but of course I love my wife.”

Consumer Reports says that the new Apple iPad temperature can hit 116 degrees. So if you can’t find your iPad, look under the cat.

The Situation from Jersey Shore has checked into rehab. Wow. Add that to Snooki being pregnant, and liquor stores in New Jersey may be forced to declare a state of emergency.

The Memphis Grizzlies signed Gilbert Arenas. Guess they figured despite his past issues it was worth taking a shot?

Santorum wonders why he lost Illinois. Uh, Monday’s statement: “I don’t care what the unemployment rate is going to be. It doesn’t matter to me.” Makes “I don’t care about poor people” sound almost statesmanlike.

Romney wins Illinois. Maybe those in the “Land of Lincoln” just figured “Honest Abe” would haunt them forever if they actually voted for Santorum or Gingrich.

Apparently the premier of DWTS had the worst ratings ever. Not enough controversy…. Say, where’s Donald Trump when you need him? Or for that matter, maybe the producers should ask Callista Gingrich….she’s not doing much that’s useful these days.

At an Obama fundraiser, Robert De Niro (who is married to a black woman), told an inappropriate joke about America not being ready “for a white first lady.” Newt Gingrich has demanded he apologize. So maybe De Niro should have said “America’s not ready for a first lady who’s a third wife?

Anyone else notice that this election season seems to be bringing out more loonies than normal? Well, Hillary Clinton may have put cracks in the glass ceiling but Rick Santorum and others have shattered the glass straitjacket.

According to ESPN, the University of Southern Mississippi has revoked scholarships for (and removed from their band), 5 students who heckled a Puerto Rican Kansas State player during a NCAA basketball tournament game last week. Strong message. Now if schools would only discipline athletes that way.

The Stanford men’s basketball team came from 11 points down with 9 minutes to play to beat Illinois State and advance to the Not-Quite-Elite Eight of the NIT. So friends, the wall is open. What does one do with a potential NIT banner?

Another thought on that proposed Tennessee law that would publicize the names of abortion doctors and detailed personal information on the women having the procedures. Where’s the rider also to include potentially identifying details on the men who got those women pregnant?

Day of the Dead.

March 18, 2012

Day of the Dead is traditionally celebrated November 1, the day after Halloween, in Mexico. Wonder how often it also described the morning after St. Patrick’s Day.

Or this year, folks who had Duke, Missouri and Michigan in their Elite Eight.

Quote of the NCAA men’s tournament so far from Norfolk State’s Kyle O’Quinn, after their upset of Missouri: “We messed up some brackets. We even messed up my bracket.”

So we’re not even through opening weekend of the men’s NCAA basketball tournament, and already there are ZERO teams left in either the Pacific or the Mountain time zones. So for regular sports fans, it’s just like ESPN’s Baseball game of the week.

Chaleo Yoovidhya, who created Red Bull, has died at the age of 89. Actually, the coroner says Chaleo died over a week ago, but his body just stopped moving.

M Go Blue. San Francisco 49ers just signed former Michigan (and NY Giants) WR Mario Manningham. Gosh, why would they think they might have any use for such a star receiver?

“I find it ironic that Republicans (like Santorum) are out there wanting less govt. and govt. intruding into our lives, but when it comes to moral issues they want govt. to legislate morality” Steven Hirsch, founder of adult entertainment company “Vivid Entertainment.” Nice work by Santorum to give a porn movie producer the moral high road.

Rosie O’Donnell’s daily talk show has been cancelled. The response from most Americans – Rosie O’Donnell had a talk show?

The NY Post reports that Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries each would like an annulment instead of a divorce, the holdup being that each wants the other to admit to fraud. Uh, can we find them both guilty of fraud and make them go away?

In honor of St. Patrick’s Day, Burger King is offering all customers on March 17 and 18 a free order of french-fries, complete with green Heinz ketchup. Let’s hope that last is just not five year old red Heinz ketchup.

A story from an unnamed source says now that Romney was on McCain’s short list in 2008 for V.P., but after John famously forget how many houses he had (eight), a staffer “pointed out that we couldn’t go to the country with a Republican ticket that owned 14 houses between the two of them.” Well, in Mitt’s favor, he can count his homes. (Six.)

Bad seeds?

March 17, 2012

For the first time in NCAA history, three teams with seed numbers 13 or higher won their first round games. Does this mean that weaker teams are getting better? Or that the seeding committee is getting worse?

Although before experts from other fields, like politics, start really criticizing sports experts -how many political pundits had Rick Santorum in the GOP Final Four?

Thieves apparently stole a 500-lb beehive from a Houston restaurant. The owner said it contained as many as 5,000 bees he was raising for their honey. Wonder if police will go after the crooks with a sting operation?

So do those who had Missouri and Duke into the Final Four become honorary Irishmen for drinking on St. Patricks’ Day?

The Cincinnati Bearcats blew all of a 19 point lead against Texas, but came back to win their first round game and are still alive. Wonder if they got a congratulatory call from Mitt Romney.

(added Alex Schubert, “At the beginning, Texas took more bad shots than Dick Cheney.”)

A reporter asked Sarah Palin if she saw the Norfolk State game. Her response, “Don’t try to fool me, I KNOW Norfolk is not a state.

Peyton Manning had said he hoped to make a decision by this Tuesday. It’s Friday…. “Atta boy.” said Brett Favre.

ESPN is reporting that Peyton Manning also worked out for San Francisco 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh and took a physical for the team this week. Looks like Harbaugh is 1000 % behind Alex Smith.

Rick Santorum is really getting aggressive in his campaign. When he saw an ad for the hit show “The Book of Mormon” his alleged response was “See, another example of intellectual elitism, Mormons read books.”

300 people waited overnight in the rain in San Francisco for the newest iPad. And guess what gals, these guys are single.

Kansas State guard Angel Rodriguez, who is Puerto Rican, says he has accepted Southern Mississippi’s apology and moved on. (Some students chanted “get a green card” at him during the game.) Wonder how many other Southerners heard the remarks and said “Makes sense, those foreigners are at least polite.”

Dwight Howard, who made headlines earlier this year by asking for a trade, now says he also wants to stay next year with Orlando – ““I’m very loyal and I’ve always put loyalty above anything.” If this basketball stuff doesn’t work out Howard has a great future in politics.

There’s a report that Rush Limbaugh actually has a new sponsor interested in his show – the Westboro Baptist Church. Well, birdbrains of a feather…. (Actually, I shouldn’t make that joke, it’s insulting to birds.)

Mitt Romney says Rick Santorum’s plan is economic illiteracy. And Santorum responds “There you go promoting elite stuff like literacy again.”

Meghan McCain posed (with clothes on) and was interviewed for the April issue of Playboy. She calls herself “strictly ‘dickly'” and says, “I love sex.” Anyone else secretly hoping she connects with and starts influencing the Romney and/or Santorum kids?


March 16, 2012

Open note to NCAA selection committee: Maybe you shouldn’t give VCU any more double digit seeds.

For all starting early for Saturday, here’s a suggested St. Patrick’s Day toast – May your troubles last as long as your perfect brackets!

During their NCAA game Thursday, Southern Miss. band members taunted Kansas State player Angel Rodriguez by chanting “Where’s your green card?” Racist and stupid yes. But what elevates this to a higher level of ignorance – apparently the students went after Rodriguez because they found he was from Puerto Rico.

Not sure about this anti-education attitude of Rick Santorum. Someone asked one of his supporters what he thought of Murray State today, and the guy replied “Not sure when their primary is, but I’m sure the voters of Murray will support Santorum’s true conservative message.”

The Portland Trail Blazers have waived Greg Oden — the #1 overall pick in the 2007 draft. On the bright side for Oden, he should be eligible for Medicare.

Peyton Manning and the Titans met for over eight hours last night. Eight hours!? That’s longer than at least one of Brett Favre’s retirements.

ESPN’s top 10 reason’s your team won’t land Tim Tebow: (My son Carey and I both have one),

Joe Nelson, a former Goldman Sachs employee from London (not the one who wrote the NY Times op-ed), has started a company making custom-fit condoms. Insert “covering a bunch of p***ks joke” here:

In Lafayette, CO, near Boulder, police ticketed a man who is accused of tying his cat’s leash to a rock after the pet refused to go jogging. Wonder if they had to bring the ticket to the hospital while the guy was getting stitches?

Rick Santorum says on his website now that a “wealth of research” now shows that pornography causes “profound brain changes, with widespread negative consequences.” If true this also shows strong cause why men should be banned from both Congress and the military.

Santorum’s campaign is the latest to bring up the Romney vacation story. As his senior staffer John Brabender said ‘What the heck was he thinking, putting the dog on the top of the roof?’ Santorum, of course, would never make a dog ride on his car roof… a gay person or a single woman asking for birth control maybe.

Rick Santorum, who was quoted saying English as the “main language” in Puerto Rico had to be a requirement for achieving statehood, now is backtracking from that statement and saying he was misquoted”

Santorum’s not trying to catch Mitt Romney, he’s trying to BE Mitt Romney.

The Blunt-Rubio amendment says that if an employer or insurance plan has any “religious or moral objection,” then a health care service can be excluded from coverage. Okay, let’s leave sex out of this, does that mean if an employer has moral objections to drinking and/or smoking, can they can refuse to cover anyone’s resulting liver or lung cancer?

From Marc Ragovin: Despite a string of losses in the primaries and trailing badly in the delegate count, Newt Gingrich has vowed to carry on to Tampa, and guarantees that he will be the eventual GOP nominee. Ya know, I swear that every time Newt speaks Callista’s nose gets a little longer.


March 8, 2012

Snooki says in an US Magazine interview that she found out she was pregnant about a week after New Year’s Eve, and that her first thought was, “‘[Bleep], I’ve been drinking!'” Open note to the GOP, there are scarier things than birth control.

Peyton Manning said today “I’ll always be a Colt.” Surprised he couldn’t hear the snickers coming all the way from Baltimore.

If some of the New Orleans Saints had rebelled against the pay for defense system would it have been considered Mutiny on the Bounties?

Peyton Manning with Colts owner Jim Irsay at his press conference about leaving: “It wasn’t his decision. It wasn’t my decision. Circumstances kind of dictated it,” Sounds like if he retires from football Manning has a great future as a press secretary for some politician explaining their next divorce.

Facebook had a major outage in Europe today. Oh the horror, millions of Europeans were forced actually to sit at their computers and work.

Not a good time to be a white supremacist in the U.S. We’ve got a black president, an Asian-American basketball star, and a Filipino-Mexican-American (Jessica Sanchez) has got to be the front-runner on American Idol.

In January, Mitt Romney said the minimum wage should be indexed to rise automatically with inflation. Today he said while “inflation is something you should look at, you should “keep America competitive… so right now there’s probably not a need to raise the minimum wage.” Stay tuned after November, when both Mitt and John Kerry jointly invest in Waffle House.

Los Angeles Lakers lost to the Washington Wizards after leading by 20 points in 3rd quarter. And here Kobe says he has no rival. I don’t know, tonight he did a pretty good LeBron James impersonation.

NFL league image may be suffering from “Bountygate.” On other hand, odds of Peyton Manning suffering a career ending injury in 2012 from a hard hit have probably just gone down considerably.

In Oxnard, California, teachers and parents are being asked to discourage middle school children from “searching for and/or visiting “inappropriate sites”, after stories surfaced that a teacher who might have been moonlighting as a porn star. In related news, requests for fathers for parent-teacher conferences are way up.

From my friend Alex Kaseberg: “Harvard makes NCAA Tournament. Needs work on trash talk: “Your Matriarch is so corpulent I am concerned about her risk of heart disease.”

The NFL Players Association is now looking into the Bounty controversy. Wonder if it will just be outrage over the idea, or also the idea that players weren’t paid enough.

A story in the NY Daily News said that baseball owners will vote against the Oakland A’s attempted move to Santa Clara. MLB denies the story and says no decision has been reached. Well, of course, the blue ribbon committee has only been meeting for 3 years on the subject. As opposed to Selig’s expanded playoff idea, decided and scheduled instantly….

Facing a distinct lack of enthusiasm, Mitt Romney’s campaign is falling back on the argument that Mitt holds a commanding lead in the state-by-state delegate math. And Rick Santorum’s response? “Math? More proof that Romney is a liberal who can’t be trusted.”

ProFlowers is one of the advertisers that dropped Rush Limbaugh. Makes sense. Could be a little awkward for guys sending “thanks for a nice evening” flowers to a woman, when in Rush’s words she’s just acted like a “slut.”

Not that I am always a fan of government, but for those who say the private sector always does it better, I give you, United Airlines. Four days after the merger with Continental their most preferred client phone lines still have 2-3 hour delays. Not that air travel is ever time sensitive….

Pat Robertson’s latest: “Now Catholics say that fornication, if you will, sex outside of marriage, is a sin. This woman is saying ‘I’m going to be committing sin but I want you to pay for my sin.” Yeah, I guess I can see the church’s point about spending money. Especially since they are still paying off cases involving their priests.

Endings and not quite endings.

March 7, 2012

So the soap opera comes to an end: Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis will no longer be Peyton Place.

From T.C. “The rumor is Peyton and his family have hired moving trucks, and are headed for Baltimore in the middle of the night.”

“The Bachelor” host Chris Harrison now says he’s trying to get Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow to be next season’s bachelor. (Which is probably a longer shot than Denver winning the Super Bowl.) Wonder if the show offered to turn the “Fantasy Suites” into prayer rooms?

As the Saints case continues to make headlines, one question. How many coaches tell their teams, “Ok men, let’s go out and kick some a** today, but please try not to hurt anybody.”

Topshop, a popular British clothing store, has cropped the bottom word off a new line of t-shirts now that originally said “Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo. Shakespere” (sic). Well, that’s what you get for marketing to people who actually read.

Former Mets star Lenny Dykstra was sentenced to three years for a scheme to steal cars. Poor dumb chump, if he was into larceny and wanted to stay out of jail, Lenny should have stolen necklaces.

Could have been worse for Dykstra. The judge could have sentenced him to return to the Mets.

Sarah Palin finally admitted her choice out of the current GOP presidential candidates, saying she voted Tuesday for Newt Gingrich. Just another episode of of the reality show: “Sarah Palin, the road to irrelevance.”

Mitt Romney appears to have won Ohio. But out of a million votes, maybe by less people than remain in the stands during the fourth quarter of a Bengals game.

Looks like Mitt Romney won Ohio by winning the areas around Cleveland, Toledo, Cincinnati and Columbus – which house the major universities around the state. Another reason for Rick Santorum to be against college education….it leads to people who don’t vote for him.

Mitt Romney tonight promised “real change.” Starting tomorrow with today’s positions.

Newt Gingrich won Georgia. Pundits wonder “Will it be enough to keep his campaign alive?” “We sure hope so,” responded staffers at Obama headquarters. (Not to mention writers for the Daily Show and Colbert Report.)

Maybe folks trying to protect women’s reproductive rights are going about it the wrong way with conservatives. Maybe there should be a campaign that says “Stop unwanted child support and paternity lawsuits, mandate birth control

When asked if she would accept the GOP nomination to run for president in a brokered convention, Sarah Palin responded “I don’t close any doors that perhaps would be open out there, so, no, I wouldn’t close that door.” A statement seconded by most Democrats.

Molson Coors Brewing Company just unveiled a new, iced-tea-flavored version of Coors Light. Guess they’re hoping to entice some folks to put down their Arnold Palmers and pick up the John Dalys.

The Redskins are amongst the teams who might be interested in Peyton Manning. Which with owner Dan Snyder at the helm means it’s likely that Peyton will become yet another good man who fails to make a difference in Washington.

While everyone’s abuzz about “Bounty-gate” has everyone forgotten about Super Bowl XLVII? It’s scheduled for Feb 3, 2013…in New Orleans. Gentlemen, and ladies, start your punchlines.

When bad things happen to good quarterbacks…

December 7, 2010

Peyton Manning is saying that the Indianapolis Colts’ inexplicably bad season is his fault. Unreal, Peyton’s not blaming the media? Or the President? Surely some of this is Obama’s fault….

Mark Sanchez had one of those nights where he had to wish he was still back at USC.  Especially this year, as since the Trojans are on probation.  And he wouldn’t have had to play in December.

R.I.P Don Meredith, as my friend Alex Kaseberg said “with him around you could actually tolerate Howard Cosell.”

Not only would “Dandy Don” Meredith have been singing “Turn out the lights, the party’s over” during Monday Night Football’s Jets-Pats game, he would have been singing it at halftime.

Newt Gingrich has indicated he is interested in running for President in 2012. 

So let me see if I have this straight.  Newt’s had three marriages, (and each time being involved with the next wife while married to the current wife), plus he was reprimanded while Speaker by Congress for ethics violations. 

Sure, I can see why he’d be the darling of the family values conservatives who want to restore faith in the Presidency…,

Another reason to want a college football playoff: Oregon and Auburn now have to wait FIVE weeks for their BCS Championship Game. Five weeks??! Some of the players will get so bored they may actually go to class.

And the national championship will pit Auburn, with its controversy regarding Cam Newton, vs Oregon, with its leading running back, LaMichael James, on probation for a domestic violence incident. Makes a certain amount of sense that the stadium is sponsored by that hallowed institution, the University of Phoenix.

Jayson Werth – a seven year $126 million dollar contract for the Nationals? With that kind of overspending, are we sure Congress wasn’t involved?

The University of Connecticut must sell 17,500 tickets to the Fiest Bowl, or have to pay for the tickets themselves.    This is a variation on a thought from yesterday, but maybe they should double the price of men’s and women’s basketball tickets, and include a bowl game ticket for free?

Latest in the “It’s all relative department”: Tiger Woods lost a four shot lead, and then lost the Chevron World Challenge to Graeme McDowell in a playoff today. But Tiger still probably had a better first weekend in December than he did last year.

Reader Augie sent this great “quote” in,  a supposed retort from Bristol Palin to Margaret Cho: “If you understood that commonsense conservative values supports the right of individuals like you, like all of us, to live our lives with less government interference and more independence, you would embrace us faster than KD Lang at an Indigo Girls concert.” 

Okay, a show of hands please from everyone who thinks Bristol wrote that.

Okay, how about a show of hands from everyone who thinks Bristol, age 20, even knows who KD Lang is.