Happy -hoppy – endings?

Peyton Manning apparently will announce his retirement Monday. Presumably from outside a Papa John’s store with a case of Budweiser?

Forget Megyn Kelly. If we really want to make the men behave could Lady Mary or Dowager Countess moderate next ‪#‎GOPDebate‬? ‪#‎DowntonAbbey‬

Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders are. promising an issue-filled debate tonight. And millions of Americans are thinking “where’s the fun in that

 

#‎Bernie‬ and ‪#‎Hillary‬ actually got a little contentious in tonight’s debate.  GOP watchers were thinking “Wimps, where are the real insults, where are the  d*ck jokes?”

Bernie Sanders’  best line of the debate was talking about increasing mental health funding “and if you saw last week’s GOP debate, you know we need it.”

 

 

 

So when ‪#‎JustinTrudeau‬ gets done with being Canada’s Prime Minister can we borrow him?

 

Love at 1st sight or at least 1st inning for ‪#‎SFGiants‬ fans:  Jeff Samardzija strikes out Crawford, Pederson and Puig

 

Was at a party this afternoon and afterwards checked online to see how by much the ‪#‎Warriors‬ beat the ‪#‎Lakers‬  and ‪#‎WTF?

 

Today, was actually the first time an NBA team wore equipment to honor a live and active player, the Lakers wore special socks Bryant-themed socks with No. 2 on the right sock and No. 4 on the left.

Somewhere the Yankees and Derek Jeter are going “why didn’t we think of something like that”?

Reports are that Gregg ‪#‎Popovich‬ is looking into ordering a really big box of ‪#‎KobeBryant‬ socks ‪#‎Warriors‬ ‪#‎Spurs‬ ‪#‎NBAplayoffs‬

RIP Nancy Reagan. Wonder if it was all these candidates hijacking her husband’s party that killed her. ‪#‎whoknewReaganwouldlookmoderate‬?

Increasingly looking like the real ‪#‎Florida‬ joke is ‪#‎MarcoRubio‬ ‪#‎GOPPrimary‬

Give ‪#‎Trump‬ credit, his promises may be empty where most of the country is concerned. But he sure has helped make ‪#‎SNL‬ great again.

United’s CEO Oscar Munoz is returning to work after an October heart attack and surgery – a medical leave of five months. Curiously enough, that’s about the same amount of time the airline thinks is reasonable to find your luggage.

 

John Kasich has fired his campaign’s deputy digital director Blake Waggoner after it was reported he was arrested in Nov. 2015 after a woman accused him of choking her and punching her in the back. Sounds like the only adult in the GOP room hasn’t been paying enough attention to what his kids were doing.

 

Caityn Jenner, complaining about Hillary Clinton: “She couldn’t care less about women. She cares about herself.” So did Jenner make the comments while she was volunteering at something? No, on her reality show “I am Cait.”

From my funny friend Alex Kaseberg –  “Astronaut Scott Kelley returned after a year in space to find Madonna on tour, a Clinton running for president and the police testing OJ Simpson’s knife and he said;

“Stop screwing around. What year is it really?”

Explore posts in the same categories: debate jokes, football jokes, Uncategorized

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