Posted tagged ‘March madne jokes’

Between brackets.

March 21, 2012

No NCAA men’s basketball tournament games until Thursday. Oh the horror. Millions of Americans wlll have to go into the office and actually work.

Peyton Manning has signed with the Denver Broncos. And Alex Smith has apparently re-signed with the San Francisco 49ers.Coach Jim Harbaugh says their relationship is “strong.” Got to love it – “Yeah, that really hot babe turned me down, but of course I love my wife.”

Consumer Reports says that the new Apple iPad temperature can hit 116 degrees. So if you can’t find your iPad, look under the cat.

The Situation from Jersey Shore has checked into rehab. Wow. Add that to Snooki being pregnant, and liquor stores in New Jersey may be forced to declare a state of emergency.

The Memphis Grizzlies signed Gilbert Arenas. Guess they figured despite his past issues it was worth taking a shot?

Santorum wonders why he lost Illinois. Uh, Monday’s statement: “I don’t care what the unemployment rate is going to be. It doesn’t matter to me.” Makes “I don’t care about poor people” sound almost statesmanlike.

Romney wins Illinois. Maybe those in the “Land of Lincoln” just figured “Honest Abe” would haunt them forever if they actually voted for Santorum or Gingrich.

Apparently the premier of DWTS had the worst ratings ever. Not enough controversy…. Say, where’s Donald Trump when you need him? Or for that matter, maybe the producers should ask Callista Gingrich….she’s not doing much that’s useful these days.

At an Obama fundraiser, Robert De Niro (who is married to a black woman), told an inappropriate joke about America not being ready “for a white first lady.” Newt Gingrich has demanded he apologize. So maybe De Niro should have said “America’s not ready for a first lady who’s a third wife?

Anyone else notice that this election season seems to be bringing out more loonies than normal? Well, Hillary Clinton may have put cracks in the glass ceiling but Rick Santorum and others have shattered the glass straitjacket.

According to ESPN, the University of Southern Mississippi has revoked scholarships for (and removed from their band), 5 students who heckled a Puerto Rican Kansas State player during a NCAA basketball tournament game last week. Strong message. Now if schools would only discipline athletes that way.

The Stanford men’s basketball team came from 11 points down with 9 minutes to play to beat Illinois State and advance to the Not-Quite-Elite Eight of the NIT. So friends, the wall is open. What does one do with a potential NIT banner?

Another thought on that proposed Tennessee law that would publicize the names of abortion doctors and detailed personal information on the women having the procedures. Where’s the rider also to include potentially identifying details on the men who got those women pregnant?