Posted tagged ‘Tiger Woods jokes’
August 11, 2014
The world is kind of a depressing mess right now – Iraq, the Ukraine, Gaza…. So maybe at some point even God just said “We need the best comedian in the world up here pronto.”
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And yes, the news today just sucked. Robin Williams, dead at 63. A suicide. Apparently making millions of people laugh on a regular basis wasn’t enough to keep away his own tears.
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Some are already putting Robin Williams’ suicide down to drugs or alcohol. But a very smart psychologist in training I know made a very good point – “The scary thing about going sober when you’re depressed or bipolar. It’s a lot harder to cope with the pain.”
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It somehow would be easier to take if Robin Williams’ were an accidental overdose, a single car accident, some random chance. Because then it would be horrible luck. Instead of perhaps the funniest man of our time being unable to imagine a reason to smile any longer.
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Robin Williams- the Golf skit. This is one of those that it was always hard to watch without laughing so hard you cried. Even harder today. (note, adult language, so be careful playing this at work.) http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/8e441c0a24/robin-williams-drunk-scotsman-invents-golf-from-dirttron
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And now because the show must go on… Even the little shows.
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Rory McIlroy said this weekend that breaking up with Caroline Wozniacki “has been for the better in terms of my golf.” So maybe before he was nervous about being with an athletic woman who might have much better aim with a golf club than Elin Nordegren?
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Pitcher Mo’ne Davis who will play in the Little League World Series, throws a 70 MPH fastball. And somewhere Barry Zito is just weeping.
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Ryder Cup captain Tom Watson said today is Tiger Woods is still a possibility “It’s really going to have to come from him. I don’t make this comment loosely. He is Tiger Woods and he brings a lot to the team if he has the ability to play and he is healthy. And I would be a fool not to consider him.” Translation. “And if I don’t consider him, I’ll really be on NBC’s sh*t list.”
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Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, 71, says that the pictures of him with strippers are five years old, and a “misrepresentation.” “Misrepresentation” how, that Jones is now too old for even strippers to cuddle publicly?
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Two Steubenville Ohio football players were convicted last year of raping a 16-year-old girl at a party in August 2012. Now, WR Ma’lik Richmond, is free after serving a one-year sentence in a juvenile facility. And he is back on the high school football team. No joke. Sounds like Richmond is already prepared for big time college football and the NFL..
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A Polish couple touring Portugal died this weekend when they fell while trying to take a selfie with their children on top of a cliff. (The kids were not harmed) Sad. But the saddest thing, since they had already reproduced this wasn’t a Darwin Award.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Darwin jokes, Janice Hough, RIP Robin Williams, Robin Williams, Robin Williams Golf skit, Robin Williams jokes, Tiger Woods jokes
Comments: 4 Comments
August 6, 2014
The Oakland A’s have apparently approached an architect about building a new stadium on their current Coliseum site. Which would presumably mean the team would need an alternate location for a year or two. Considering how well their relations with the SF Giants have been going have the A’s thought about asking for a hold on that demolition of Candlestick?
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Dan Snyder sensitivity award for the day goes to former Washington kicker Mark Moseley. Who says of the team name – “No red men have said anything derogatory to me about it.”
(my dad suggests changing the name to the “Washington Americans.” As a way to offend everyone.)
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Jack Nicklaus on Rory McIlroy: “I think Rory has an opportunity to win 15 or 20 majors… But you just don’t know what the guy’s priorities are going to be in life 10 years from now.” Possible translation, “can he keep it zipped?”
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The director of “Frozen” will adapt “A Wrinkle in Time” for Disney. Mostly a cool thing. A whole new generation will learn about a “Tesseract.” And would like to see what Disney does with the Mrs. Ws, the Happy Medium, and Aunt Beast. But they’d better not turn Meg into a princess!
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No injuries were reported when a United flight from Newark to Brussels made an emergency landing after a small fire in the galley. Shocking. A U.S. airline still actually cooks something in their galley?
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The odds are out for NFL Week 1 Preseason games. And if you really care, you just might have a gambling problem.
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The #SJSharks and #LAKings will match up at Levi’s Stadium Feb 21 for the first outdoor NHL game in Northern California. But wouldn’t a more appropriate venue have been Candlestick Park?.
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While on a panel with Roger Goodell, John Madden said that he did not think 6, 7 and 8 year olds should be playing tackle football. But Goodell responded that HE had started playing tackle football when he was 7. Might explain a lot
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#TigerWoods has announced he will play in the #PGAChampionship . Well for Thursday and Friday anyway.
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Supermodel Chrissy Teigen, who says she was “pretty drunk”, threw out a pretty decent first pitch at last night’s Dodgers game. Maybe they should start stockpiling beer in the Rockies bullpen.
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NBC Senior White House Correspondent Chris Jansing today, talking about Obama at the U.S.-Africa Leaders Summit. “Yeah, the fact that he’s from Kenya, and the fact that when he was elected there were expectations on the African continent that he would do great things for them.” Is Jansing angling for a job with FOX News?
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2 RBIs for Michael Morse in first is 25% of his RBI total for the past two months #SFGiants.
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From Bill Littlejohn: “Cleveland Browns receiver Josh Gordon has claimed that he has passed at least 70 drug tests. “Problem is, he’s taken more than 1,000.”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: A's jokes, airline jokes, Candlestick jokes, Fox News jokes, Frozen jokes, Janice Hough, SFGiants jokes, Tiger Woods jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
July 20, 2014
Sunday was the 45th anniversary of Apollo 11’s landing on the moon. If it happened on Obama’s watch have to wonder what the Republican reaction would be…. Maybe a Congressional investigation for demonstrating American weakness by not focusing on our enemies on this planet? If the GOP said they believed the footage at all.
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Really? Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have spent $500,000 to hire a baby body double to protect their daughter North from photographers. Guess they don’t want anyone exploiting pictures of the child for money. Except her parents.
Equal gender opportunity “Crooks are Stupid” item: An Illinois woman posted pictures of herself on Facebook wearing a distinctive new dress. Police investigating a theft from a local boutique promptly arrested her as the dress was one of the items stolen.
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In the summer, the London Zoo has “Zoo Lates” on Friday nights, fund-raising events which feature music and beer tents. Last Friday apparently a man poured beer over a tiger. Sadly as far as fundraising, the tiger was not able to climb out of its enclosure and reduce the Zoo’s food bill.
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Singapore Airlines is apologizing to people who thought their recent tweet was insensitive. “Customers may wish to note that Singapore Airlines flights are not using Ukraine airspace.” And yes, maybe a tweet wasn’t the way to do it. But have to wonder how many calls airlines are now getting about their Europe to Asia routes.
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Two pigeons made it into Rogers Centre for the Toronto Blue Jays -Texas Rangers game. Had the pigeons been at Marlins Park today, Miami would have no doubt counted them to boost the supposed attendance..
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Bad news for ESPN. Tiger Woods had one of his worst Briish Opens ever. Good news for ESPN. At least most casual golf fans recognized winner Rory McIlroy’s name.
(of course, had McIlroy’s breakup with tennis star Caroline Wozniack just involved a few waitresses and a mid night flight involving police, who knows what the ratings might have been.?)
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The Costa Concordia is upright and will be on its way to Genoa. The Concordia’s interior of the ship is kind of a mess after being underwater for over 2 years. But it would probably be unfair to compare conditions to being aboard a Carnival Cruise ship.
New Zealand’s Jack Bauer almost won a Tour de France stage but was overtaken at the end by Norway’s Alexander Kristoff . Presumably the last minute ending took place at 7:59.37 pm?
SNL won the Television Critics Association’s Heritage Award Sunday . “Heritage” as in ancient history for being funny?
Controversy now as New York City approved a new development by the Hudson River where affordable housing tenants will have to enter by a “poor door,” when regular tenants can use the main entrance. So while we’re at it, what about two doors for those paying higher prices, one for those who earned their money, and one for those who inherited it.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Costa Concordia jokes, Janice Hough, Kimye jokes, moon landing jokes, Rory McIlroy jokes, Tiger Woods jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
June 28, 2014
Apparently Wimbledon is enforcing the all white clothing rule so tightly this year and some women players have have to remove their colored undergarments and go braless. Is this too much tradition, or a shameless grab for television ratings?
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President Obama on the GOP. They “don’t do anything but block me and call me names.” And John Boehner said “Okay, who leaked our mission statement?”
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Tiger Woods has missed the cut for the Quicken Loan Tournament. Which means golf ratings this weekend will be almost as high as those of the World Cup in the US after Tuesday if Belgium wins.
Randy Moss has been hired as an associate football coach by his son’s high school. Not sure exactly what the former NFL star is supposed to teach the kids. But pretty sure it isn’t humility.
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ABC has fired Sherri Shepherd and Jenny McCarthy from “The View.” Many women are thinking “How terrible.” Many men are thinking “Who?”
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Really? There’s now a Kim Kardashian video game?! Assume the goal is to make a big a** of yourself? #KimKardashianHollywood
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ESPN had a spoiler alert – basically that the second ranked woman in the world was knocked out at Wimbledon. To be a real spoiler don’t people have to know who the #2 woman in the world is?
A marijuana food truck plans to open soon in Everett, a suburb of Seattle, Washington. Talk about a symbiotic operation.
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Fred Dicker, a NY Post columnist, referred to a white state senator as a “spear chucker” for the New York City Democratic delegation, which is mostly black. And then said it was not a racial slur. Right. Will Dicker then suggest “spear chuckers” for a new name for Washington’s football team?
Joaquin Arias is 1 for 18 as a pinch-hitter for the #SFGiants. That’s not a “pinch-hitter”, that’s a “pinch-outter.”
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Clients called saying they would be late to an appointment at our office. They were lost because their GPS had broken. If only there were an inexpensive, simple, portable way to get directions. #Imissmaps
One of the Miss America contestants this September was originally the runner-up, and only found out she won her state pageant 6 days later, when organizers realized a vote count error, and dethroned the original winner. You guessed it, Miss Florida.
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Wonder if the new Miss Florida was crowned by the Supreme Court?
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A federal judge upheld Colorado’s new gun laws that mandate background checks for all gun sales and limited the capacity of ammunition magazines. From the ruling; “Of the many law enforcement officials called to testify, none were able to identify a single instance in which they were involved where a single civilian fired more than 15 shots in self defense.” Common sense, what a concept.
And finally a no snark item for a change.
Apparently actress Amy Adams, who had a 1st class seat on American Airlines, saw a uniformed soldier at the gate and quietly got the flight attendant to switch their seats so Ms. Adams ended up in coach. Wow. A celebrity making news that doesn’t involve an arrest, a wardrobe malfunction or a sex tape. Very well played, Amy,
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: "The View" jokes, Florida jokes, Janice Hough, SF Giants jokes, Tiger Woods jokes, Wimbledon jokes
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June 26, 2014
Really? Ann Coulter, says “any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation’s moral decay.” And that “I promise you: No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer.” First, Ann should STFU. Second, few Americans are likely to be watching past the next round anyway.
Another thought on Ann Coulter’s comment that “No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer.” Thinking that not having children just makes Ann bitter about never having the chance to become a great-grandfather.
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Phrase we never thought we’d hear in the USA. “Don’t ask me a work question, I’m watching the #WorldCup.” #USAvGER
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Question asked around the US today? “So how do you win the World Cup by losing a game? “. “Oh, you mean there’s more…?”
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In later World Cup games Thursday, Belgium beat Korea 1-0 and Algeria tied Russia 1-1. And across the USA one response “There were later games?”
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Luis Suarez has been banned four months for biting. Although his actions did change the conventional wisdom that most Americans couldn’t name a single player in the World Cup
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Ghana has kicked two players off their World Cup team after a training “altercation.” And apparently they had to bring $3 million in cash to Brazil yesterday after players threatened to mutiny over not being paid enough. Who says “futebol” is nothing like American football?
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Tiger Woods shot a 74 on his first day back in a tournament. At ESPN they are wishing there were only some way to give the other golfers red cards.
Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan will apparently reunite briefly on screen in the upcoming movie “Ithaca.” Of course, this time they will both be “Sleepless in Seattle” from getting up in the middle of the night to pee.
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Howard Baker, 88, has died. He was Reagan’s chief of staff, a presidential candidate himself, and a moderate GOP Senate Majority Leader. Yes, Virginia, there was a time you could be known as a “moderate Senate Majority Leader”
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If anyone has been watching the #SFGiants lately and heard Tim Lincecum threw a no-hitter against the Padres, their first question must have been “Did he win?
LGBT night at A T and T and not a single same sex couple shown on “Kiss Cam.”. That’s as weak as #SFGiants hitting tonight.
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According to the CDC, women are considered “heavy drinkers” if they have eight or more drinks a week, men are “heavy drinkers” if they have 15 or more. Great, one more stressor to drive us to drink.
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UK based Titan says they have sold at least one Titan “Zeus”, a $1.6 million, 370 inch TV. And somewhere some guy’s neighbor is plotting how he can find one bigger.
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Open note to all drivers: When you are the 2nd, 3rd and 4th cars through the intersection after the light in the other direction turns green, it is just possible you ran a light that was a bit past yellow.
From Bill Littlejohn : “Robert Morris University-Illinois has become the first school to consider video games as a sport. CalTech could be next, but has concerns over attracting too many ‘one-and-dones'”
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Ann Coulter jokes, Janice Hough, Lincecum jokes, SF Giants jokes, Suarez jokes, Tiger Woods jokes, World Cup jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
May 5, 2014
Tiger Woods said that missing the Masters wasn’t that bad. “Speak for yourself” said CBS.
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Didn’t everyone have this figured? NL pitching leaders as of May 5 with 5 wins – Greinke, Wainwright, Machi… #SFGiants
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The Supreme Court ruled today that city councils can begin their meetings with prayer, even if it plainly favors a specific religion. Okay, so let’s see what happens when some council decides to include, say, a Buddhist or Muslim prayer…
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Who says politicians are never honest? Lindsay Graham – “Our Democratic friends, for the most part, have been in the tank over Benghazi. Some guy said this about me yesterday on the left: The only reason I cared about this was because I have six tea party opponents. Well, if that’s true, I’m the biggest scumbag in America.”
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Saturday was the Kentucky Derby, Monday was Cinco de Mayo. Which for many Americans means finding out the answer to a question – do you get a worse hangover from bourbon or tequila?
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Governor Chris Christie on the Brooklyn Nets “They’re not in New Jersey anymore. They’re not my team — I’m a Knicks fan. And so the fact is, I just don’t care.” Makes sense that Christie would root for the Knicks, their year has made his look good by comparison.
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Former PayPal exec Rakesh “Rocky” Agrawal is no longer with the company after sending out late night tweets saying amongst other things that PayPal’s global communications VP was a “useless middle. manager” and a “piece of s***.” Agrawal says he quit before tweeting, but just guessing he’s not expecting a reference?
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A Hong Kong company has come up with a new “Paper Clip” armrest for planes, which has a double decker format they say will eliminate the armrest battles most fliers face regularly. Wonder which U.S. carrier will try it first, presumably as soon as they figure out how to charge an “arm room fee.”
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You really cannot make this “stuff” up: .Steve Wiles is running in the GOP primary for North Carolina state Senate, touting his support for a gay marriage ban. And the Winston-Salem Journal is reporting Wiles worked for years as a drag queen emcee known as ‘Miss Mona Sinclair’ at a Winston-Salem gay bar.
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Jameis Winston apparently was carrying crawfish, crab legs and butter when he walked out of a Florida Publix without paying. But the Heisman winner insisted he did not steal the butter, because he left it in a bin before he left the store. Maybe that explains why FSU has already reinstated him?
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Stay classy. Stacey Campfield, the Tennessee state senator who once said HIV and AIDS originated from a man having sex with a monkey, just wrote in his blog “Democrats bragging about the number of mandatory sign ups for Obamacare is like Germans bragging about the number of manditory sign ups for ‘train rides’ for Jews in the 40s.”
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From my funny friend Jerry Perisho: Oregon State fired head basketball coach Craig Robinson, the brother-in-law of Pres. Obama. Fox News said the firing was part of the Republican resurgence. MSNBC said it was due to right wing radicalism on campus. CNN said, “Oregon is nowhere near the Indian Ocean, so we don’t care.
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For some variety, Dwight Perry’s sideline chatter. (And he included one of my jokes)
http://seattletimes.com/html/sidelinechatter/2023524610_chatter04xml.html
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: airline jokes, GOP jokes, Janice Hough, Supreme Court jokes, Tiger Woods jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
April 22, 2014
Security folks are still trying to figure out how a teenage boy was able to get onto the San Jose airport tarmac and into the wheel well of a commercial jet. On the brighter side, TSA said that day they did confiscate over 100 bottles of water.
Apparently Lindsey Vonn and Elin Nordegren have become good friends. Makes sense, Elin wants to know about her kids’ potential stepmom, and LIndsey wants to know how to check Tiger’s cellphone.
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A New Jersey cardiologist, trying to get out of paying $135,000 for FOUR visits to a strip club. claims he was drugged during each visit. Jeez. The guy is smart enough to get into med school, and he can’t think of a more creative excuse?
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The teenager who stowed away in the wheel well of that Hawaiian Airlines flight said he was trying to see his mother in Somalia. So give him an A for effort and an F for geography.
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On the Late Show last night, Courteney Cox said last night again that the “Friends” reunion is “not gonna happen.” Translation. no one has yet given them enough rea$on$.
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It will cost the Buffalo Bills about $3 million to settle a class action lawsuit for sending too many text messages to fans. So presumably the team will only send their fans one text to explain why this settlement means a rise in ticket prices.
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AOL is reporting that their email users have been hacked. Shocking. AOL still has email users?
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Inside airline humor: The SF Chronicle’s Leah Garchik reports there will be a 50th reunion this weekend of Pan Am Class 12, 16 women who trained together in 1964 to become stewardesses. And then presumably after the reunion many of the women will go back to work as flight attendants on United’s Hawaii routes.
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Bob Dole, 90, in an interview said his “main concern about (the 2016) elections is that, well, I just hope I’m still around to vote then. If not … I plan to vote absentee.” If Jimmy Carter had said that the GOP would be screaming about potential voter fraud.
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More from Bob Dole “A number of the younger members, first-termers like Rand Paul, (Marco) Rubio Morand that extreme-right-wing guy – Ted Cruz? All running for president now. I don’t think they’ve got enough experience yet.” So maybe Dole secretly wants to run again with John McCain?
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At this point opposing pitchers facing the #SFGiants hitters must feel the way cats do when they stumble upon a convention for disabled mice.
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Well, as frustrated as the #SFGiants are, at least their players aren’t likely to be involved in a brawl. None of them can hit anyone.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: AOL jokes, bob dole jokes, Janice Hough, SF Giants jokes, stowaway jokes, Tiger Woods jokes, TSA jokes
Comments: 4 Comments
March 9, 2014
Toronto Mayor Rob Ford tweeted out yesterday to “turn your clocks back,” for daylight saving time this weekend. In Ford’s case it might not be a rhetorical question to ask “What is that man smoking?”
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But really, springing forward? More like stumbling forwards.
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28 Democrats will have an overnight “talkathon” in the Senate Monday night until 9:00 a.m. Tuesday to draw attention to climate change. Wonder how much electricity it will take to keep the lights on.
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“They thought this was a good idea, how?” department: A gun show offered visitors the chance to meet and get an autographed picture from…. George Zimmerman?! You guessed it, Florida.
As awful as this Malaysian Airlines flight story appears to be, doesn’t the story – an aircraft that seems to have disappeared into thin air – seem like a bad made-for-TV movie? Where are Rod Serling or Jack Bauer when we need them?
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(Thanks to my friend Jon M. for this setup.) Tony Romo was at Cameron last night as Duke took on and beat UNC 93-21, and he was cheering for the Blue Devils. Lakers guard Kendall Marshall, a UNC alum tweeted “I understand why nobody likes Romo now.” But hey, had the Dallas QB really made a difference, Duke would have had several passes in the 4th quarter intercepted and turned into scoring plays.
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Wichita State will go to the NCAA Tournament 34-0. And probably get a #1 seed. Wonder how many people will put them in their bracket without knowing WHAT state the Shockers are in?
(from my friend Sean “That school obviously is from the great state of Wichita… said any SEC football player.”)
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So if I’ve got this right from CPAC, President Obama is the most ineffectual dictator ever.
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On the other hand, so the US economy added 175,000 jobs in February. And even the Wall Street Journal said that “bolsters hope the economy will break out of its recent slump as spring arrives.”. Can we blame Obama?.
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While the Indiana Pacers, 46-17, won on March 1 and 2, they have now lost 4 in a row. Or as the Philadelphia 76ers call that “a great week.”
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Good news for ABC, the NBA game of the week between the Oklahoma City Thunder and the Los Angeles Lakers turned out to be more interesting than most people dreamed. Bad news for ABC, most sports fans probably expected the game to be so awful, they didn’t bother to tune in to watch.
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Great ad seen today for a mobile pet grooming service “We cater to cowards.”
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Reader Bob B. asks “ESPN Tiger-centric? See the ESPN.com homepage this (Saturday) morning for the line: “In progress: Tiger, others try to tame Doral.”
(Personally I’m wondering, when Woods retires, will the ESPN headline on Saturday be something like “Woods runs errands with children, PGA tournament dontinues.”)
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Daylight savings jokes, Janice Hough, lakes jokes, Rob Ford jokes, Tiger Woods jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
January 26, 2014
Although looking at these Olympic uniforms, methinks that makers of Olympic sweaters are upset by the comparison.
But maybe to make these sweaters good it won’t take a village, it will take a gallon of spiked eggnog?
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The NHL had their first outdoor game in California Saturday night at Dodger Stadium. Guess the wimps couldn’t handle a real cold weather venue like Candlestick Park.
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New U.S. catchphrase? “Cover me, I’m going to the mall?”
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Tiger Woods missed the secondary cut at this weekend’s tournament at Torrey Pines. Which means at least a few hundred more casual American sports fans will be forced to watch the NFL Pro Bowl.
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Two young women at Tulane who knew they had a lot in common just discovered they had the same sperm donor father, and are thrilled to be half-sisters. Good thing this happened to two friends and not a couple who was dating.
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A new report says that all Fruit Loop flavors, regardless of color, are the same. You mean I grew up saving the red ones to the end for nothing?
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French President Francois Hollande today announced “I wish to make it known that I have ended my shared life with Valerie Trierweiler.” Not sure if he will bring his actress lover on his official visit to the U.S. in February, but this does potentially liven up the White House State Dinner.
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A California teacher has been arrested for bringing food laced with marijuana to an after-school party with other teachers. Waiting for her to find a lawyer to defend her claiming, “Well, it was a POT-luck.”
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Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Janice Hough, olympic uniform jokes, Tiger Woods jokes
Comments: 4 Comments
September 18, 2013
So what is going on in Texas? Are the Rangers just trying to spare their fans the pain of another postseason collapse?
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Meanwhile with NY having lost 4 of 5 and looking increasingly unlikely to make the postseason, wonder if ESPN will preempt playoff coverage for highlights of old Yankees-Red Sox games.
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Texas A & M reported they raised more than $740 million in donations in the past fiscal year. Gosh, that’s probably a few hundred Johnny Manziel autograph sessions.
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Tiger Woods wants to see a time limit placed on viewers being able to call-in of possible rules violations. Specifically, until five minutes before Tiger himself tees off.
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From T.C. “The PGA may put a halt to fans phoning in rules violations. Tiger got dinged with penalties at The Masters & BMW Championship this year after viewers called citing rule breaches. Woods’ GF Lindsey Vonn, however, said fans are welcome to call her any time if they see Tiger committing any infractions, such as being in the company of pancake or cocktail waitresses.”
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Elton John says Miley Cyrus is a “meltdown waiting to happen.” Uh, some might say the wait is over.
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Beanie Baby creator Ty Warner will plead guilty to tax evasion and pay a $53.5 million penalty. Wonder if he’s negotiating to pay the fine in Beanie Babies.
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Due to winds and tides, the America’s Cup probable final race now will be Thursday. But when this is over, do hope New Zealand gives some honor to Larry Ellison. Who else could get most Americans to root for a foreign opponent against their own country?
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The House is trying to defund Obamacare again, this time threatening to shutdown the government. When asked how Boehner would manage such a potential shutdown, Ohio Rep. Jim Jordan said “Even the best coaches in the N.F.L. only script out the first two series of plays. They don’t script the whole game.” Uh, but the best coaches in the NFL don’t keep on starting with the same ineffectual play 40 times in a row.
Phrase I would like to nominate for retirement: “It will do no good to legislate (fill-in-the-blank) because criminals will break the law.” By that standard we should toss out all laws and regulations, since people will disobey traffic rules, cheat on taxes, steal, assault and murder each other, etc.,
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Many people are saying that the U.S gun laws are not to blame for mass murders; rather it’s things like mental health and poverty. Okay, I guess I would take those folks more seriously if they were also for increasing mental health funding and the minimum wage.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: America's Cup jokes, Beanie Baby jokes, janice hough jokes, Johnny Manziel jokes, Miley Cyrus jokes, Tiger Woods jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
September 13, 2013
Hope everyone had a safe Friday the 13th. And remember, black cats are only really unlucky if you trip over one while you are texting and walking.
The SI report on abuses at Oklahoma State includes football players saying that recruits and school hostesses had sex. Shocking. Guess the gals were supposed to wait to sleep with the players until after they had committed.
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Strange times in Pittsburgh. The Pirates may well be playing meaningful games later into the year than the Steelers.
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A Pennsylvania judge Thursday ordered a suburban Philadelphia court clerk to stop issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples. Where is the conservative outrage about judicial activism and government interference in private lives?
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Sign of the times: Chris Davis tonight became the latest member of baseball’s 50 HR club. A feat that now not only brings “Congratulations,” but also “Wonder what he’s taking”
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Some like to ascribe natural disasters to God’s punishment of sinful behavior: Haven’t heard any of those folks wondering whether the floods in Colorado might mean God didn’t like the state voting out representatives who favor gun control.
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A story on NFL.com today is titled “Concussion issue continues to grow in Major League Baseball.” Large black pot, smaller black kettle?
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A U.S. man who was trying to emulate the movie “Up” and cross the Atlantic Ocean from Maine to France using only hundreds of helium balloons, has landed a bit short…. in Newfoundland. “Missed it by THAT much” said Darwin.
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For two hours yesterday, United was accidentally selling tickets online for $10 roundtrip. Which means by the time fees are added a lot of people will have purchased trips for only about $400.
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Dina Lohan, Lindsay’s mom, was arrested last night for DWI and speeding in New York, allegedly with a blood alcohol of .20. Guess the apple didn’t stagger far from the tree.
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The Russian newspaper Pravda is indicating that in response to Putin’s op-ed in the NY Times, they will accept and print John McCain’s rebuttal op-ed. That is, unless they get a better offer – like an op-ed from Sarah Palin.
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Tiger Woods was penalized two strokes today in the BMW tournament for moving his ball. Not nearly as much as the, uh, moving balls cost him with Elin….
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: janice hough jokes, MLB jokes, Oklahoma State jokes, Putin jokes, Tiger Woods jokes
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August 30, 2013
Lindsey Vonn, gushing to People Magazine about dating Tiger Woods: “He doesn’t even leave the seat up! It’s awesome.” Wonder when Tiger learned that. Maybe we’re uncovering the real reason Elin went after him with that nine-iron?
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What really happened with the NCAA? Bill Littlejohn said “they met with Johnny Manziel for 6 hours. Would have been 7 but the bars closed at 2am.”
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I’m wondering if the NCAA reduced Johnny Football’s suspension when he agreed to sign a few hundred more items for them.
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Bottles of Extra-Strength Tylenol will soon have a warning written in red letters on their caps: “Contains acetaminophen. Always read the label.” Uh, aren’t you ALWAYS supposed to read labels?
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A South Carolina couple were arrested after being caught having sex in a Home Depot wooden display shed. Wonder if Home Depot is now trying to figure out how they can rent sheds by the hour.
(my friend George R. Mathews says “God knows they looked.around.for hours trying to find someone to help.them….they got bored and had to.DO.something.”)
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Random baseball thought for the day: Josh Hamilton and Albert Pujols together make about half as much as the entire Pittsburgh Pirates payroll. (Hamilton $17 million, Pujols $16 million, the Pirates, $66 million.)
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Katie Holmes’ representative has announced that Suri Cruise broke her arm but “is okay.” Stand by for the announcement of a line of new “designer casts” for children.
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Lindsay Lohan apparently will host her 5th SNL this fall Think they can make a condition of her appearance staying away from the after-party?
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Phil Mickelson shot a 63 while playing with Tiger Woods, who shot a 68, in the opening round of the Deutsche Bank Championship. Pool on how long it will take Tiger to complain about back problems?
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Nancy Pelosi says she doesn’t wish to be Speaker of the House again. The people who are the most upset about this? GOP fundraisers.
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At 146am, when everyone is paying attention, Facebook sent proposed updates to their “Data Use Policy” and “Statement of Rights and Responsibilities.” A long and many-paged document. But they add “as always, we won’t share the private information that you put on Facebook with advertisers without your permission.” Of course what they don’t say – nothing you post is really considered private.
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Lamar Odom was arrested for alleged DUI this morning. Who’d a thunk that Kim Kardashian would be the sister in a more stable seeming relationship?
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Ted Nugent’s wife Shemane has been arrested after a handgun was found in her carry-on luggage at an DFW airport security checkpoint. Birdbrains of a feather…
Ad on KNBR for the SF 49ers 2013 season: “There’s nothing better than the last season at the “Stick.” Nothing? Well, for starters the fact that it IS the last season at Candlestick.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Home depot jokes, janice hough jokes, NCAA jokes, suri cruise jokes, Tiger Woods jokes, tylenol jokes
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August 11, 2013
After 3 rounds of the PGA, lots of headlines about Tiger Woods not being able to win another major this week. Amazed I haven’t seen one that says he’s ONLY 13 shots back
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Men are having a hard time with the Oprah in Switzerland story. Who would want a $38,000 handbag anyway? I mean for the cost of a few of those purses you could get a Ferrari.
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The NSA says that they only “touch” 1.6 % of internet data,(and of that 0.025% is selected for review.) The other 98.4% belongs to advertisers.
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All pitchers are equal, some of them are more equal than others: MLB just overturned an official scorer’s call in the Tigers-White Sox game July 25. They decided an RBI double by Chicago’s Tyler Flowers was actually an error. Now, all four runs that inning against Justin Verlander are unearned…
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Johnny Manziel’s lawyer predicts the Heisman Trophy winner won’t miss any playing time in 2013. And if the NCAA investigation means that Texas A & M has to retroactively forfeit their season, well, WGASA. (Certainly not Johnny.)
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Chris Brown’s publicist said the singer has suffered a seizure brought on by “intense fatigue and extreme emotional stress.” “Gosh what a shame” said a handful of men and no women.
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So tired of Fox baseball idiots. (Yes, I mean you, Buck and McCarver.) They were saying how the Orioles should walk Posey to pitch to Pence, even though Posey, while the reigning MVP, has been about 1 for 100 with RISP recently. Fortunately Showalter wasn’t any smarter. And Pence got the game winning hit. Go Giants.
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The NY Yankees are now trying to fine A-Rod about $150,000 for missing a day of his rehab without team permission. This relationship is deteriorating faster than a Hollywood marriage.
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The Mars One project, planned to start in 2022, is looking for 40 people willing to take a one-way trip to the planet in order to colonize it. Reportedly over 10,000 people have applied. Wonder how many of those applications were actually sent in by the person’s significant other or ex?
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The Obama family is vacationing in Martha’s Vineyard this week. The outcry from some in the GOP about such an exclusive destination could only be matched by the same people’s indignation if the President chose somewhere like Disney World or a Florida beachj. Where the security would interrupt the hard-earned vacations of countless average Americans.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Chris Brown jokes, Janice Hough, Oprah purse jokes, Tiger Woods jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
May 25, 2013
A woman known as the “hot-dog hooker” from Long Island, NY, jailed for 7 days last year for selling sex out of her hot-dog truck, was busted again for prostitution yesterday. Maybe she should try a change of direction, like working on Anthony Weiner’s campaign.
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Headline on the Mariners-Rangers Friday night game, (with a double-play called that wasn’t one) “Umpire regrets botched call.” Isn’t this getting to be baseball’s version of “Groundhog Day?”
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Hail Mary time? Everett Golson, Notre Dame’s starting QB, a redshirt freshman in 2012, is suddenly no longer enrolled in the school. Reportedly for an “Office of Residence Life violation.” Over-under on how long it takes an SEC school to offer Golson a scholarship?
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SF Giants win Saturday with an inside-the-park walk-off home run by Angel Pagan. Aka now. Angel Going-Going-Going-Going-Going- Still-Going-Gone.
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Embattled #Toronto mayor #RobFord “I do not use crack cocaine, nor am I an addict of crack cocaine.” Uh, if A, no need to say B.
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So just wondering, for strict creationists, if their kids manage to go to the American Museum of Natural History’s dinosaur and human evolution displays, do they feel the same way other parents do when their kids access internet porn?
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Golfer Jeff Overton was DQ’ed from the Colonial Tournament for using a putting aid during a delay where officials told golfers they could practice chipping and putting. PGA rules make the balk rule seem simple by comparison.
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Another day, another injury for the first place NY Yankees, with $95 million of their payroll on the DL. Now it’s Curtis Granderson who broke his left pinky. Bad news for Yankees haters, a few more injuries and they may end up winning it all.
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Open note to SF Giants: A few more walk-off wins like today’s and there may have to be a warning sign at A T and T Park “Warning, this game may be hazardous to watch for those with heart conditions.”
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“You’re born, you die. Everything in between is subject to interpretation.” Nora Ephron – “Lucky Guy.”
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From Bill Littlejohn. “Tiger Woods has apparently hired a PR firm reshape Tiger Woods’ image: Who needs them when he has Sergio Garcia?”
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: golf jokes, hot dog hooker jokes, Janice Hough, SF Giants jokes, Tiger Woods jokes, Weiner jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
May 21, 2013
Yikes, when asked if he would ask Tiger Woods to dinner during the U.S. Open. Sergio Garcia told a U.K paper:.”We’ll have him round every night. We will serve fried chicken.” It’s a tough job, but Garcia is doing his best to make Tiger look likeable by comparison.
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Dwight Howard is now saying he was marginalized and underutilized by Lakers’ coach Mike D’Antoni. Even Sergio Garcia is saying “Dude, quit whining and play.”
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Apple Computers is facing scrutiny for only paying 2% in tax on $74 billion in income routed through their Irish subsidiaries. CEO Tim Cook that Apple pays “all the taxes we owe, every single dollar,” and doesn’t “stash money on some Caribbean island.” Well, no one ever accused Ireland of being part of the Caribbean.
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Britain’s first doctor of aviation medicine says that the brain’s performance is slightly impaired while traveling by plane. Because air pressure in the cabin is equivalent to being outside at 6000-8000 ft elevation. That explains why so many people now choose actually to buy airplane food?
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A bipartisan Senate panel approved an immigration reform bill, but Democrats had to scrap a provision including LGBT couples. WTF? Aren’t LGBT couples most likely to be two-income couples who don’t burden our social services with children?
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From ESPN – “Detroit Lions expected to start new bowl in 2014.” What? So they can guarantee a win by playing in it?
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The Cleveland Cavaliers have won the NBA draft lottery, meaning they can pick that highly touted future superstar….what’s his name….uh, never mind.
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The PGA annouced that using a long putter while holding it against your body while putting will be banned effective Jan. 1, 2016. The belly putters will still be allowed — provided they are not “anchored.” Great, one more potential violation for eagle-eyed couch potatoes to call to report..
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Charlotte’s NBA team will take back the “Hornets” nickname from “Bobcats,” which was named for original owner Bob Johnson. Current owner Michael Jordan chose not to name the team after himself. Makes sense, the way the team has been playing no way MJ wants his name on such a mess.
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Can’t wait to see what she says about the Oklahoma City tornado: Sarah Palin this weekend posted “Global warming my gluteus maximus,” because it was snowing in Alaska in May.
A man who committed suicide in Paris’s Notre Dame Cathedral today reportedly did it as a protest against France’s legalization of gay marriage. Well, that’s one less person who can vote to overturn the law.
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Anthony Weiner is officially running for mayor of New York. Not sure of all his platform, though no doubt it includes full employment for comedy writers.
New York #Rangers appear ready to follow Knicks to summer vacation. Bummer for the #Mets, more spotlight on them.
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As suggested by PBen. Oklahoma Senator Coburn is on record now saying that any tornado relief funds for OKLA must be matched with cuts elsewhere. How much money could we save by cutting Oklahoma down to one senator?
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Apple jokes, golf jokes, janice hough jokes, political jokes, Sergio Garcia jokes, Tiger Woods jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
May 14, 2013
Toronto Maple Leafs fans are still shocked about their team’s end of game seven collapse yesterday. Even Yogi Berra thought it was over.
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So the SF Giants are just trying to make the good citizens of Toronto feel better about the Maple Leafs’ world class choke job last night, right?
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So how long until they put Toronto Maple Leafs playoff t-shirts on sale? Presumably all of them with the neck opening three sizes too small.
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Years ago in Spring Training, Randy Johnson killed a bird with a pitch. If R.A. Dickey and Barry Zito, Tuesday night’s starting pitchers in Toronto, did the same thing, that bird would still be telling the story to his grandchildren.
(Scot asks “Watching Giants v Blue Jays does this mean every 12 year old has the velocity to make the “bigs”, before they discover drugs?)
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So ESPN is reporting that Jonathan Sanchez is about to sign a deal with the Los Angeles Dodgers. It must be part of a plan to sell more beer at Dodger Stadium.
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He’s more than cricket: Prince Harry on his US tour participated in a baseball practice with Harlem RBI, a group that helps inner-city youth, and hit a home run. Is it too late for Harry to sign with the Mets?
Forget all these boring U.S. political follies: Mark your calendars. Downton Abbey returns January 5, 2014..
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This whine has legs. After Sergio Garcia claimed that Tiger Woods distracted him during his swing, Woods said tournament officials had told him Garcia had played already and it was okay to pull out his own club. Now TPC officials say Woods is lying. Gosh, and why would anyone ever distrust Tiger?
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Good for Angelina Jolie for coming forward about her double mastectomy. . And if anyone ever wondered just how sexy reconstructive surgery can look… I think we are about to find out.
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Last week an Air Force office who headed the sexual assault prevention office was arrested for allegedly groping a woman, now the Army said a soldier coordinating a sexual assault prevention program is under investigation for “abusive sexual contact.” Jeez. This is worse than having a Congress full of adulterers and divorced men defending marriage.
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From Marc Ragovin: The New York Mets have signed Rick Ankiel after he was released by the Astros. Ya know, I think that signing Astros castoffs is the first sign of the Apocalypse.
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Ariel Castro’s lawyer today said he is not “a monster.” Well I should hope not. If he said otherwise, they’d hear from the “Monster Anti-Defamation League.”
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One of those rare serious thoughts, The National Transportation Safety Board is recommending that the benchmark for DUI be lowered from 0.08 blood-alcohol content (BAC) to 0.05. If they really want to make a difference, how about instead a recommendation that restaurants/bars have breathalyzers available to patrons?
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Giants jokes, Janice Hough, R.A Dickey jokes, Tiger Woods jokes, Toronto Maple Leafs jokes, Zito jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
April 14, 2013
Nate Schierholtz got his World Series ring before the Giants-Cubs game today. The game was almost delayed when Wrigley stadium security had to X-ray this unknown and thus potentially dangerous object.
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So someday will they make a movie like 42 about the first openly gay ballplayer. And will the prejudice seem as archaic?
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A YouGov survey found that more Americans support universal background checks for guns than like apple pie and kittens. Of course, if President Obama came out with a resolution to honor apple pie and kittens, the GOP would filibuster it.
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A Carnival cruise ship picked up 13 Cubans off a raft 40 miles from Key West, and after feeding them turned the refugees over to the U.S. Coast Guard. On the one hand, how disappointed the Cubans must have been to come so close. On the other hand, with Carnival being their taste of the U.S., maybe Cuba won’t seem so bad.
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Terrebonne Parish, a small town in Louisiana wants to ban “sagging” or wearing pants below the waist and exposing their underwear. While they’re at it, can they add a spandex codicil?
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Tiger Woods was assessed a two-shot penalty in the Masters for breaking an arcane rule that could have resulted in disqualification. He remains in the tournament because of another arcane rule. You don’t disqualify Tiger Woods.
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So not sure what the Masters people want now. If Tiger Woods comes back today many will say it’s another example of him overcoming adversity, others will say he should have been DQ’ed. The only sure winner? CBS #Ratings.
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A New York heiress allegedly stabbed her life coach with a fork — just six months after she was arrested for choking her sobriety coach. Even Lindsay Lohan is thinking “this woman is out of control.”
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A man was shot and killed this morning in a San Francisco Nob Hill apartment in what may have been a domestic dispute. These days in the city that prompts two reactions: 1. That’s horrible. 2. So, does this mean the apartment will become available?
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California Speaker John Perez says at Democratic convention that the state of Ronald Reagan and Richard Nixon now has a Democratic majority. Of course to be fair Reagan and Nixon these days would be too liberal to be Republican.
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From Bill Littlejohn: JaMarcus Russell may be planning a comeback? The only possible bigger comeback would be if they found Atlantis.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes
Tags: Cubs jokes, Janice Hough, Masters jokes, San Francisco jokes, Tiger Woods jokes
Comments: 4 Comments
March 26, 2013
You think of showing your support for something with a bumper sticker, instead of changing your profile picture.
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As the internet buzzes with the possibility of an active NFL player coming out, remember Willie Mays, asked at the age of 80 if MLB was ready for an openly gay player. His response “Can he hit?”
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Apparently in oral arguments, Supreme Court justices Scalia and Alito were asking question related to the statement “We don’t know the effects of same sex parenting on children.” Uh, could it be any worse, than say the effects of heterosexual parenting, with say, Dina Lohan or Kris Jenner?
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If all gay weddings required a 21-gun salute, would more Republicans be in favor of allowing them?
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A man has won $8,000 in a lawsuit from Disneyland after he was trapped in the “It’s a Small World” ride for more than 30 minutes. Had he been stuck for much longer it might have been a violation of the Geneva convention.
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Nike has started another controversy with a new ad showing Tiger Woods lining up a putt behind the slogan, “Winning takes care of everything.” Well, at least the ad is honest.
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Not sure how Lindsay Vonn and Tiger Woods celebrated his regaining the world #1 ranking. Guessing she didn’t send him out to pick up take-out pancakes.
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So all this excitement over the same sex marriage debate, then no ruling until June. It’s as if we had the early rounds of March Madness now, and then the Final Four after the NBA finals.
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President Obama is planning to appoint Julia Pierson as the first female director of the U.S. Secret Service. Well that’s one way to avoid Columbian prostitute scandals.
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There’s always a silver lining. Manti Te’o has to be thrilled in some ways that the headlines now are mostly just about his disappointing 40 yard dash times. (4.71 .)
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One of Justin Bieber’s neighbors has accused the singer of battery following an argument over loud parties? Really, just how desperate for money do you have to be go to down in history as the punchline who claims to have been smacked down by Bieber?
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Kanye West reportedly wants to call his new album “I am God.” Who knew, Kim Kardashian might end up being the more responsible parent?
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Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar, with 19 children, say they are open to the idea of the idea of adoption. Many think they should have started adopting about 14-15 children ago.
(Pete Brody says maybe they can adopt octomoms 14 and they can have a rolling rock 33)
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Glenn Beck is now saying that the Muslim Brotherhood is behind the ethics investigation of Michele Bachmann, because of her efforts against radical Islam. Forget welfare recipients, maybe it’s time to drug-test media hosts..
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From T.C. “Dionne Warwick owes $10 Million in back taxes. The IRS left her a singing message on her voicemail, “Do you know the way to San Quentin?””
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: equal sign jokes, gay marriage jokes, Janice Hough, Prop 8 jokes, Supreme Court jokes, Tiger Woods jokes
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March 19, 2013
First round NIT – Robert Morris 59, Kentucky 57. Puts a whole new meaning on “One and done.”
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Not saying the Kentucky team was young, but after the game coach John Calipari was so upset he gave all the starters time-outs.
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Btw, those same Kentucky Wildcats when the season started? The favorite at 6-1 to win the entire NCAA tournament. Guess that means Nerlens Noel was really the One without who they were Done?
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One of many signs this whole college basketball system needs reworking though – when with the top teams most fans recognize fewer of the players than the coaches.
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Coach Rex Ryan said the New York Jets have to get better at QB, adding that Tim Tebow would get the opportunity to compete. And he said it with a straight face.
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New Jersey has decided to try allowing Atlantic City casinos to offer fantasy sports betting. Don’t most casinos already allow fantasy betting? As in picking the Cubs to win the World Series.
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A study has shown that the resveratol in red wine may help prevent Alzheimer’s. Or if you drink enough of it at least the wine gives you a good reason to forget things. (or as my friend Linda says, you won’t care if you forget things..)
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Got to love it, Tiger Woods announces he is dating Lindsey Vonn, posts a number of pictures, and thanks fans on his Facebook page for “respecting our privacy.”
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Lindsey Vonn apparently was making jokes a couple years ago about Tiger Woods and his “sex addiction.” Have to wonder the odds on in another couple years Lindsey herself ending up part of the punchline.
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Derek Jeter was scratched from the Yankees spring training game today with a “cranky ankle.” About the only good news for New York these days is that most of their injures should be covered by Medicare.
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Ok, the story of a University of Central Florida student who planned to shoot students isn’t funny, but then there’s this quote from an evacuated young woman “”There were police everywhere, students out there half-dressed, no shoes, in the cold….” The weather was in the 60s.
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Reportedly Lindsay Lohan chose rehab because she was scared of jail. But not scared enough apparently to start just following the law….
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Telling NBC jokes has apparently gotten Jay Leno with network executives. Fortunately, since he’s still on NBC, very few people are actually hearing the jokes.
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Michelle Shocked has had several shows canceled after making an anti-gay slur at a San Francisco concert. Two questions. Who the heck is Michelle Shocked? And is she angling to open for Ted Nugent?
After a South Carolina primary, looks like the House special election will be between Mark Sanford, former Governor and “Appalachian trail” hiker and Elizabeth Colbert Bush, sister of Stephen Colbert. Not sure about state residents, but comedians across the country are thinking ‘Thank you, Jesus.”
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From Bill Littlejohn: Now, the Broncos have offered Dumervil a contract—talk about bringing Elvis back from the dead”
(Elvis’s agent, however, is no doubt still as dead as Generalissmo Francisco Franco)
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: basketball jokes, Lindsay Lohan jokes, March madness jokes, NCAA jokes, NIT jokes, Tiger Woods jokes
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March 1, 2013
Steve Nash says he does not regret deciding to join the Los Angeles Lakers. Makes sense, at his age, Nash likes the idea having playoff season off.
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In the Honda Classic tournament Thursday Tiger Woods walked into the water on the 6th hole to play a partially submerged ball and save par. Of course, long-time golf fans remember the days Tiger used to walk on water to make birdies.
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Dennis Rodman has been publicly and happily hanging out in Pyongyang with Kim Jong Un. Well, this ought to dispel North Koreans’ image of Americans as a strange and perverted people.
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You cannot make this “stuff” up: A California woman says she was fired for being pregnant by her fiance (who is now her husband.) Because pre-marital sex was in violation of the San Diego Christian College “Handbook and Community Covenant.” The part you can’t make up, the school then the man they knew to be her fiance a job.
(of course, if they really believed the fiance to be innocent of premarital sex maybe they should have not only reinstated the woman but made joyful planes for a Second Coming.)
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The subcompact Toyota Yaris has a speedometer that goes up to 140 mph, although apparently the car can’t top 109. On the other hand, many scales designed for American adults still have all the numbers below 100.
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So I’m low-tech, but have to think most of America is wondering – is there an app that would allow you to watch American Idol and automatically block not only commercials, but also block Nicki Minaj?
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Asked about his position on a bill in Wisconsin requiring ultrasounds before abortions, GOP Rep. Sean Duffy responded “I don’t know what a trans-vaginal ultrasound is. I’ve never had one.” And women are thinking, “Hmm, how can we demonstrate the concept to him?”
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All this controversy over NFL prospects being asked about their sexual orientation…. Maybe some teams are hoping for gay players… would cut down on the out-of-wedlock children.
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Pope Benedict’s farewell tour has everything but a bobblehead.
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Lindsay Lohan is heading for another trial, this time over last year’s car crash, after reportedly rejecting rehab plea bargain that would have kept her out of jail. Makes sense, not like a trial has ever really put her in jail either.
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Baltimore’s Terrell Suggs said he “guarantees the other 31 [NFL] teams hate the New England Patriots.” Is Suggs working on having 31 teams hate the Ravens too?
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from TC – “Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo, who has been a supporter of gay rights, said that the NFL will have its first openly gay player by 2014. Vegas has already made any Tight End player a 1-5 favorite. Second choice at 1-1 is anyone named Rock or Elton.”
Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Dennis Rodman jokes, Janice Hough, Lindsay Lohan jokes, NBA jokes, NFL jokes, Tiger Woods jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
Left Coast Sports Babe 