Posted tagged ‘NFL jokes’

The King’s speech?

January 23, 2016

The Cleveland Cavaliers, 30-11, have fired coach David Blatt. Wait a minute, the Cavs had a coach besides Lebron?

 

The Cleveland Cavaliers say LeBron James was not consulted in the firing of David Blatt. Right. Lebron was, however, reportedly heard to say “Will no one rid me of this troublesome coach?

 

A 21-year-old University of Virginia student who was on a 5-day tour out of China has been arrested in North Korea, for allegedly committing a ‘hostile act under orders from Washington.”
Thinking, if you are American who goes voluntarily to North Korea, and your name isn’t Rodman, you deserve what you get. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

Jeffery H. Cohen, 70, of Pittsburgh died last week. In his obituary: Jeffrey would ask that in lieu of flowers, please do not vote for Donald Trump.”
Well, the primary is April 26, don’t suppose that for him Cohen’s family could file a VERY absentee ballot?

Willie Robertson of “Duck Dynasty” has endorsed Donald Trump. But his dad Phil has endorsed Ted Cruz. Well, it could do wonders for ratings if father and son decide to settle this with a duel.

 

Bar owners near Wrigley Field are worried about the Cubs’ new outdoor plaza area, specifically that the team might try to undersell them on beer. This would never happen near Yankee Stadium – the Yankees will never sell beer lower than ANYBODY.

It’s the 43rd anniversary of ‪#‎RoevWade‬ and the Wisconsin state senate just voted to take away $8 million in federal funds for Planned Parenthood. So wonder how many unwanted pregnancies and thus potential abortions THAT will result in….

Why there is no satire: The New York City Department of Parks had planned a snow festival in the city this weekend. It has been canceled – due to snow.

 

So now that Jonas is turning out to be the real deal, there are two numbers for storm watchers to speculate about: How many Inches of snow? And how many weekend Darwin award winners?

 

Bus to hell guest sport from TC  “Singer Don MacLean was arrested this week for domestic assault. His lawyer is blaming it on too much whiskey and rye.”

 

 

Rule breakers

January 21, 2016

WR Josh Gordon, who was indefinitely suspended from the NFL for substance abuse violations involving marijuana and alcohol, has asked Roger Goodell for reinstatement. Of course had Gordon just beat people up to deal with his stress, he’d probably be on an active roster right now.

Chip Kelly’s introductory press conference with Jed York and Trent Baalke was all warm and fuzzy this morning. Why did it feel a bit like watching the fourth wedding of some Hollywood star? ‪#‎unrealisticdreams‬?

Donald Trump, asked about Sarah Palin as a possible running mate “”I don’t think she’d want to do it.” Translation – “I’m crazy but not that bat-shit crazy..

Who knows whether this next possible “storm of the century” will live up to hype or just be another cause of unnecessary panic in the D.C. area. At least the Washington Redskins have done their part by not giving residents a playoff game and traffic to worry about.

So in Pakistan, the Taliban claimed responsibility for an attack that killed 24 at a university. Awful, but I’m confused, are the Taliban now bad guys we are supporting, or  bad guys we are fighting?

University of Florida CB Jalen Tabor was upset with football players not getting any pay other than a scholarship, food and some other benefits. So he tweeted “The SEC Made $527.4 Million in Total Revenue and Players Ain’t Get A Penny. Modern Form of Slavery.”
Now, all my friends know how much I “love” the SEC. But last I heard, no one trained hard and went through a very competitive voluntary recruiting process to become a slave.

 

So does the collapse in the price of oil mean that the GOP will no longer feel as compelled to invade every country that has it?

A report says that at Mount St. Mary’s, a small Catholic university, president Simon Newson said this at a faculty meeting about struggling students and retention rates:   Faculty “think of students as cuddly bunnies,” but they “just have to drown the bunnies…put a Glock to their heads.”

Proving once again, that a PhD and a lofty title is no guarantee against ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

In New Orleans, a woman kept her gun under a pillow and it accidentally discharged last night, killing her 3-year-old grandson while the two were sleeping. ‪#‎ifonlytheboywasarmed‬

Wonder what the conspiracy theorists who think ‪#‎Trump‬ is in the race to help ‪#‎Hillary‬ make of the ‪#‎Palin‬ endorsement?

Walmart says that all of their over a million workers will receive “at least” a 2% raise. Wow. So with that 20 cents or so extra an hour maybe they’ll be able to buy some of the store’s products.

The Dow was down as much as 565 points today but ended up down only 264 points. So I think I’ve got this figured out, the drop was all Obama’s fault but any bounce had nothing to do with him.

ESPN’S OTL reports that the NFL sent three top health and safety officers to challenge the NIH on their proposed study on football and brain disease, even though the league has denied involvement. “I am shocked” said nobody.

 

The Virginia legislature just killed a bill that would have decriminalized adultery. Since they are just across the river from DC is this VA’s way of discouraging members of Congress from living in the state?

From my funny friend Alex Kaseberg,  “Caitlyn Jenner is writing her memoir about her transition to transgender. It will probably be a case of “He said/She said.”

Birdbrains?

January 20, 2016

#‎SarahPalin‬ has endorsed ‪#‎DonaldTrump‬. Well, narcissists of a feather…..

Or maybe Palin just likes Trump’s style, between his bankruptcies and divorces, Donald has does a fair share of quitting himself.

Not that I am a fan of the Patriots nor their QB, but Broncos DE Antonio Smith says Brady’s a crybaby because “I’ve never seen any quarterback look to the referee right after he gets sacked.more” So instead of Brady whining to the ref, Smith is whining to the media? ‪#‎potmeetkettle‬

 

So forecasters are predicting a major storm MIGHT dump over a foot of snow on the East Coast. Or it might not . “Depending on where this tracks, we could see a ton of snow or we could see nothing,” said National Weather Service Kevin Kacan.
But why let possibilities get in the way of a good media panic-fest?

Airline brilliance in action: Have a client on an American flight, at airport hours early, wide-open earlier flight, and they say $75 to get on it. Whereas the flight he is on, with a decent seat, is more full, and has no aisles left, so they could at least resell the seat assignment. And these carriers wonder why people hate them.

Sarah Palin’s 26-year-old divorced son Track was arrested last night for allegedly punching and kicking his girlfriend, while apparently waving a gun around. ‪#‎familyvalues‬ ‪#‎ifonlySHEwerearmed‬

Donald Trump seems unconcerned about his referring to a line from the bible as “Two Corinthians” rather than “Second Corinthians.” Although it does seem with Trumps followers that he could say Jesus married Mary Magdalene and they’d shrug it off too.

More on the Donald’s and his Corinthians (“Two”vs. “Second”). You would think that someone who has been married as often as Trump would remember how it goes. Because “First Corinthians” is quoted at so many weddings “Love is patient, love is kind…

The President of the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences says she is “heartbroken and frustrated” about this year’s nominees, and they will “dramatic steps to alter the makeup of our membership.” So it just occurred to them that 94% Caucasian and 77% male with an average age of 62 isn’t great for diversity?

Okay, now ‪#‎affluenza‬ teen Ethan Couch’s lawyer is claiming his client may have been taken “involuntarily to Mexico.” Right, as if that young man would pay attention to any adult, including his mother.

 

 

The password management company SplashData has come up with a list of the most popular passwords. Numbers 1-6 are, in order, 123456, password, 12345678, qwerty, 12345, and 123456789.

Thinking if you have any of those, you’re eligible for the hacking equivalent of a Darwin award.

 

An Italian surgeon is seeking donations to perform the world’s first ever human head transplant. No shortage of opportunities no doubt for head volunteers – based on some recent polls seems certain a lot of Americans aren’t using theirs.

Although, whatever you think of this election it will be a very nice change when the front-runners are actually decided by actual VOTES, as opposed to polls. For what it’s worth, in both England and Canada’s recent elections pollsters were badly wrong. And for that matter, they didn’t do that well on last fall’s U.S. elections either.

 

MLK Day.

January 18, 2016

Happy MLK Day. Martin Luther King, Jr., was a great man. No question. But if he lived in the internet age no doubt he would have been vilified for his personal life. Now, I love a good gossip as much as anyone. But I wonder, by our unrelenting 24-7 obsession now with looking for frailties, are we discouraging many men, and women, who might be potentially great leaders?

Panthers coach Ron Rivera has banned hoverboards inside the Carolina Panthers’ facility and suggested his players not ride them to and from work. Now, I get it the week before a game where the winner goes to the Super Bowl. But right, because heaven forbid anyone who plays football should do anything where they can get injured.

The Rams are talking $100 deposits on season tickets for 2016. And the first person to put down money was Magic Johnson. Wonder if he figures by the start of the season the Dodgers won’t have any games worth watching?

Guessing the Golden State Warriors were a bit upset about that loss to the Pistons?

132-98.  Normally when Cleveland is this embarrassed, the Browns are involved. ‪#‎Cavs‬ ‪#‎GSvsCLE‬

In Tennessee, police arrested a teacher after finding three of her students in the trunk of her car. Most people are going “How horrible.” And parents of multiple toddlers are thinking “You can do that?”

New low-cost Spanish airline Air Europa Express is CHARGING applicants 60 euros to apply for a job. Two thoughts: 1, how awful. 2. Don’t tell U.S. airlines.

Novak Djokovic, ranked #1 in the world in men’s tennis, says now “I turned down £110k to throw a match.” Scary. But what might be scarier is the number of players below him who are not saying anything.

To win back customers, Chipotle is planning some free burrito giveaways, that will vary by location. Wonder how many of them might be tied into things like “Bring your mother-in-law to lunch day”?

British Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn told a UK paper that he never got around to naming his cat, and just calls it “Gato.” (cat in Spanish.) Is he lazy, or does Corbyn just have a Audrey Hepburn in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s fetish?

Donald Trump today told Fox News that a 2012 tweet, which he has frequently basically repeated, that the “concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make US manufacturing non-competitive” was just a joke.
Did it just occur to the Donald that Asian-Americans vote?

Penthouse magazine says they are ending its print publication, going exclusively digital. Well, guess no one ever did pick them up at the store saying “I’m just buying it for the articles.”

 

Watched Gigi again today. Still one of my favorite movies of all time. But it couldn’t be remade. Gaston would have to register as a sex offender.

Damn, now Glenn Frey. Such a big part of the soundtrack of my youth. And one of my first album was the Eagles’ Greatest Hits. Too many young men in their 60s are dying. ‪#‎Alreadygone‬

 

So Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder is saying that the Flint water disaster is NOT his “Katrina.” Well, yeah, the hurricane started out as a natural disaster. In Flint, that state deliberately switched their water source in 2014 from Lake Huron to the Flint River to save money, then changed it back only after the corrosive water permanently damaged the lead pipes. So yeah, this isn’t Snyder’s Katrina, it’s much worse.

from Marc Ragovin  “Just when you thought NFL refs couldn’t be more incompetent, they gave us the most screwed up coin toss since Dick York appeared in the Twilight Zone.

(yeah, its an old reference, but the episode is classic.”   (google it, children. :0))

A cold day…

January 7, 2016

 

The Minnesota Vikings are warning their fans that temperatures are expected to hit a high of 1 degree on Sunday. And Green Bay fans are thinking “1 degree? We could wear shorts.”

Lots of expert predictions on this weekend’s NFL playoff games. And we should listen to all those experts because they all predicted the hosts for these games would be Houston, Cincinnati, Minnesota and Washington?!

So now Johnny Manziel has been cited for driving with expired license plates. Even JaMarcus Russelll is saying “Dude, get it together.”.

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers fired Lovie Smith, who was their third coach in five years. Somewhere even George Steinbrenner is thinking, “Jeez, show a little patience.”

Missed the ‪#‎Powerball‬ numbers last night by six. And I didn’t even play.

The next Powerball lottery jackpot will approach $700 million, resulting in turn millions of new players.  Because $400 million just doesn’t buy what it used to?

House Speaker Paul Ryan on what the GOP needs to do to win: “We have to show people what our principles are and how we apply those principles to the problems of the day to offer people real solutions”
And most of the Presidential candidates are going “Principles?”

One big problem faced by the the ‪#‎SF49ers‬ in their coaching search – any coach who is smart enough for the job, is probably also smart enough not to take it. ‪#‎trainwreck‬

Since their spring semester has started, Clemson asked for and got an NCAA waiver from a rule today which prevents “in-session” schools from practicing or holding team meetings for more than four hours per day or 20 hours per week. The school said players will miss class “only with professor approval.” And of course if any professor denies approval it would only be a coincidence if that professor is denied tenure.

A man handed a Bradenton hospital employee a wrapped burrito he said was for a patient. The employee checked and found that inside the burrito was a syringe of heroin. Back on your game, Florida. ‪#‎andyouthoughtguacamolewasaddicting‬?

A man handed a Bradenton hospital employee a wrapped burrito he said was for a patient. The employee checked and found that inside the burrito was a syringe of heroin. Back on your game, Florida. ‪#‎andyouthoughtguacamolewasaddicting‬

House Speaker Paul Ryan said that Obama’s executive actions on guns were “a distraction” and that the President should be focused on fighting terrorism. But hey now, that 62nd repeal attempt for Obamacare, THAT was important.

Interesting that ‪#‎JohnMcCain‬ stated strongly that ‪#‎BarackObama‬ was an American but he’s not so sure about ‪#‎TedCruz‬

 

Hillary Clinton, asked this week about extra-terrestrials, said “I think we may have been visited already” by aliens. “We don’t know for sure.” Heck, for all we know, one or two of them may be running for President.

From my funny friend Jerry Perisho “Ken Griffey, Jr. was voted into the Baseball Hall of Fame. On his way to the podium, he pulled a hamstring and was placed on the disabled list.”

 

All wet.

January 6, 2016

It’s just one storm series. Still a bit odd when you live in California and the newspaper story about the state still being in a drought is hard to read — because the paper got soaked clear through the plastic this morning.

The NFL is reportedly looking for 500 volunteers to help assembly the half-time stage for the Super Bowl. They expect the time commitment to be at least 33 hours counting rehearsals, and no, a game ticket is not included. But hey, if you’ve started out the New Year in a charitable mood. The league IS a nonprofit…. ‪#‎whythereisnosatire‬

The Rams in their NFL relocation bid to return to Los Angeles do some serious St. Louis bashing. Well, this ought to be fun when the Dodgers come to Busch Stadium this year to play the Cardinals.

 

 

#‎KenGriffeyJr‬ was elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame with 99.3% of the vote. So would the .7% (3 voters)  like to explain their reasons?

 

Meanwhile, Mike Piazza. who admitted taking at least “andro,”  proved that the writers think that a “good” guy with PEDs beats a “bad” guy with PED’s?

Ammon Bundy, the Oregon militia leader, says he is “following directions from God.” And God says, “Don’t blame me, I have nothing to do with this a**hole.”

 

Sean Payton says he is staying in New Orleans, “I can’t imagine me ever coaching another team.” So guess it’s “the Devil and Saints you know.

Some skepticism on North Korea’s alleged H-bomb test, even though it allegedly caused seismic activity. Maybe the earthquake was caused by Kim Jong Il throwing a temper tantrum?

Libertarian Gary Johnson said today he is running again for President in 2016. Not that he has a chance, but no doubt Johnson is already outpolling at least 2-3 GOP candidates.

 

Gov. Sam Brownback of Kansas just tweeted “Congrats Alex Gordon, with your new contract you’ll save about $1.8 million by living in KS instead of CA.”
Right, and then most winters Gordon can spend much of that $1.8 million getting out of Kansas. (And the Royals DO play in Missouri.)

 

Macy’s says they will eliminate more than 4,500 jobs. And then presumably they will have a “One Day Layoff Sale?”

 

An 8-year-old girl is recovering in the hospital after she fell off a ski lift at Squaw Valley near Lake Tahoe. The girl apparently was not using the chair’s safety-restraint bar. Sure hope her parents don’t decide to sue for the resort not making her use the bar….

Joe Biden says of his decision not to run for President in 2016. “I regret it every day.” I wonder if this has anything to do with the fact that Twitter may be expanding their tweets from 140 to 10,000 characters.

On their 62nd try, Congress passed a repeal of the Affordable Care Act and sent it to the President to veto. So now they can return to attacking Obama for, amongst other things, wasting taxpayer money.

From my funny friend  Alex Kaseberg  – Steve Harvey would like to personally congratulate Jose Canseco on his selection to the Hall of Fame.

Pressed flat?

January 5, 2016

SF 49ers owner Jed York today in his press conference announcing the firing of Jim Tomsula: “I’m not a football expert.” Right, so after 2014 season you fired the coach that actually WAS. ‪#‎Harbaugh‬ ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

Let’s see, Jim Harbaugh was fired from SF basically because of his ego and abrasive personality. Now Chip Kelly has let it be known he is interested in the 49ers job. Get some popcorn folks, we could end up with the first football management team with thermo-nuclear capability.

 

#‎JedYork‬ says he will sell the ‪#‎SF49ers‬ “over his dead body.” Guess Jed feels brave enough to say that due to California’s strict gun laws.

SF 49ers GM Trent Baalke indicated today in a later press conference he didn’t know the length of his own contract (he signed an extension last year through 2018). Now, local media are making fun of the lie, but who knows, maybe it could be true. Would explain a lot about SF’s horrendous drafts lately.

The ‪#‎Raiders‬, ‪#‎Chargers‬ & ‪#‎Rams‬ all requested permission today to move to the Los Angeles area. A few more press conferences like today’s from Jed York and ‪#‎49ers‬ fans may be saying “uh, can we volunteer our team too?”

Johnny Manziel was apparently seen partying in Las Vegas last Saturday night. Maybe it’s time to change his trademark name from “Johnny Football” to “Johnny F*ckup.”

Tom Coughlin has resigned as coach of the NY Giants. So guess after 12 years he’s looking to be ringmaster of a different circus?

Hunter Pence just bought a 2 bedroom luxury condo in San Francisco. At his $18.5 million a year ‪#‎SFGiants‬ salary he can probably just stretch to cover the payments.

The Stanford women’s basketball team scored only 31 points Monday night.. Are they trying to be named honorary 76ers?

Donald Trump’s latest fear-mongering was a warning today that President Obama’s planned executive actions mean “Pretty soon you won’t be able to get guns.”
To be fair, if we had serious mental health restrictions on purchasing firearms, based on many of his statements Trump himself probably couldn’t pass a background check.

Oh, Lord.

January 4, 2016

Final season of Downton Abbey starts tonight in the U.S. Amazing For six years on Sunday nights Americans weren’t lying when they said they preferred watching PBS.

 

 

Wonder if the final straw that resulted in the firing of Jim Tomsula was the 49ers coach managing to pull out a close game in overtime, and thus costing San Francisco at least a few positions in the NFL draft.

 

So now there are rumors that the 49ers may try to lure head coach Sean Payton from the Saints, rumors fueled in part by the fact that Payton’s daughter now is in college at Pepperdine and he misses her.
Uh, except if that’s the motivation in at most a year Payton can probably have his choice of two new Los Angeles teams are not complete clusterf*cks.

 

San Diego and Denver playing an exciting game with playoff implications, and in Northern California CBS & NFL insisted to keep showing the Rams and 49ers playing to see who had the  worst offense in the league.

The SF 49ers fired Jim Tomsula but kept GM Trent Baakle.  Wasn’t this kind of like firing the catering manager on the Titanic?

#‎NYJets‬ and ‪#‎NYGiants‬ accomplished one thing today – got New Yorkers REALLY looking forward to Spring Training.

From my funny friend Jerry Perisho  “I’m watching the Washington-Dallas football game. Clearly, it’s time to stand up for innocent people whose name is being denigrated through its crass association with a football team. Change the name of the Cowboys.”

Chris Christie called Obama a “petulant child” for the President’s plan to override Congress with executive action to curb gun violence. Yes, Chris Christie, the same formerly pro-gun control Governor who himself this year vetoed several gun control bills passed in New Jersey….. ‪#‎whythereisnosatire‬

(as my friend Jon N says, Because nobody would ever consider shutting down a bridge to be petulant. My guess is that’s where Christie learned the word.)

Saudi Arabia just had a mass execution of 47 people, spread out amongst a dozen prisons, by firing squad and beheadings. And these are our civilized “friends” in the region?

 

Bus to hell time: Bill Cosby was arrested and the Pittsburgh Steelers sneaked into the NFL playoffs. So all in all a mixed week for rapists.

Looking back

December 28, 2015

Kobe Bryant,  asked about going back in time to offer advice to himself as a rookie said “compassion & empathy.”   And presumably don’t order room service?

The Arizona Cardinals look so good this year you have to wonder if Cuba Gooding, Jr. isn’t somehow involved. ‪#‎Showmethemoney‬ ‪#‎JerryMaguire‬

Atlanta Falcons beat the previously undefeated Carolina Panders  give the 72 Miami Dolphins cause to ask their kids or grandkids to open those pesky champagne bottles for them.

So many bowls this year that are akin to participation trophies with both teams aspiring to mediocrity. By that token the 49ers-Lions match-up should be an honorary bowl game.

 

Thom Brennaman, announcing SF-Detroit today – ‘”When you make mistakes like we’ve seen the 49ers make in this game, it’s not a surprise that they’ve won four games this year.”
Well, actually you do wonder how they managed to win those four games.

Houston beat up on Tennessee behind Brandon Weeden. How can you not root for a team led by a QB cut last month by the Dallas Cowboys? (who ended up doing SO well without him)

Stephen Colbert said today “Donald Trump is like — I’m not the first person to say this, but I completely agree — that he’s my old character with 10 billion dollars.” Except that we could laugh at Colbert without it hurting.

 

At a Walmart this week, a woman was arrested for allegedly shooting up meth and then riding a motorized shopping car through the store while drinking wine, eating sushi, cinnamon rolls and rotisserie chicken. Do I even have to say “Florida?”

And of course, to be fair, Walmart sushi might be more dangerous than the meth.

A Louisville mall had to close early last night because of almost 2,000 disorderly teens wreaking havoc in the shopping center. ‪#‎Ifonlytheywerearmed‬

 

A Southwest Airlines flight from Sacramento to Denver tonight was diverted to Oakland Sunday evening after they had “pressurization issues.” So which airline will be the first to add a “pressurization” fee?

“The Force Awakens” has passed $1 billion at the global box office. And Disney is now researching ways to help Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher live to be at least 100. ‪#‎Episode27‬?

Donald Trump today is accusing Bill Clinton of sexism. And both the pot and kettle are doubled over in hysterics.

Supposedly Hillary and Bill Clinton joined Chelsea, her husband Marc and baby Charlotte on a walk around mid-town Manhattan today and even stopped in a bookstore. Unbelievable, as if in mid-town Manhattan any bookstore could still exist and afford the rent

Finally.  Seriously.  Damn, R.I.P. Dave Henderson, 57. Impossible to dislike, even when he played for a team you hated. Going to be a lot livelier during those softball games in heaven.

Fit to be tied.

December 10, 2015

 

There’s a three-way tie atop NFC East at 5-7. Call me old-fashioned, but it would be nice for NFL division winners at least to have records that make them bowl eligible.

 

Goldstar is offering discount rates for William Shatner’s one-man show in San Francisco, “Shatner’s World.” But really, shouldn’t we be able to name our own price?

 

MLB is now recommending that for safety reasons teams install protective netting in front of lower level seats inside the baselines. And in Boston presumably a bit further out into left field in case a certain third baseman going for a ball tumbles into the stands.

Reports are that if Marissa Mayer is fired by Yahoo, her severance package could reach $110 million. Wow. That’s enough money that in a few years Mayer can use the money to run for President touting her leadership ability.

Phrase on a local radio station many San Francisco fans thought they’d never hear at the beginning of the season – “the 49ers can build around Blaine Gabbert.”

Well, apparently this is probably a hoax.  But most media picked up the story today of Mexican Drug Lord “El Chapo” being upset at ISIS – telling them they “made a mistake” in destroying one of his shipments. And emailing their leader “I pity the next son of a whore who tries to interfere with the business of the Sinaloa cartel. I will have their hearts and tongues torn from them.”

If it IS a hoax, setting El Chapo after ISIS actually isn’t that bad an idea.

Some have opined that Donald Trump’s candidacy is a plot to help Hillary Clinton. I just hope it’s not a plot to make the rest of the GOP look reasonable by comparison.

Many conservatives were happy with Antonin Scalia’s comments about affirmative action. Well, if he feels so strongly about not admitting kids who can’t keep pace academically, wonder what the reaction would be if instead of going after African-Americans, the Justice had just called to dismantle college football?

United Airlines is apparently thinking of offering pyjamas to their international business class passengers. That’s in business class. In coach presumably they are thinking about charging passengers who are wearing extra clothes.

 

Russell Taylor, the former head of Jared Fogle’s charity was sentenced to 27 years in prison for making child porn, after begging the judge for a light sentence and “not allow me to rot in the landfill of lost souls.”
Got news for the guy, a lot of the convicts are upset about the thought of having to rot with HIM.

Sad sign of the times: The local news is reporting on a lock down at a San Jose school – an “active shooter drill.”

 

There’s something that doesn’t quite make sense when we have Americans who for “safety” reasons want to register Muslims but not register guns.

Business as usual

November 22, 2015

Statisticians everywhere would like to thank the Washington Redskins today for so beautifully illustrating for the lay person the concept of “regression to the mean.”

Rob Ryan, on NFL Network, discussing his firing by the Saints: “Everything in New Orleans is being blamed on me, including Katrina,” Who knew it was possible to make brother Rex look like the classy one?

 

In the midst of a year with plenty of controversy over officiating, Roger Goodell says that the NFL is considering mixing and matching crews on a weekly basis to reduce inconsistencies. Well, it’s a shame the league doesn’t make enough money to hire full time officials.

In Madison, Badgers fans were reportedly throwing snowballs at the team’s cheerleaders during their game against Northwestern. Can only imagine what fans were throwing at the refs, after two potential last-minute game-winning Wisconsin TD’s were overturned.

 

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, making a distinction between DFS  (like Draft Kings) and year long fantasy football – “We love people who are going to engage in the game and have fun with it. It’s not about making money. It’s about enjoying the game and enjoying the team, enjoying the players you pick.”
Wow, and Goodell said this with a straight face.

Cal’s Jared Goff is projected as probably the first QB who will be taken in this year’s NFL draft. And as far as getting that top pick – the 49ers, Raiders and Chargers are doing their best to ensure Goff will probably stay in California.

 

Marco Rubio has released his first nationwide campaign ad, in which he says – “What happened in Paris could happen here. There is no middle ground.” Sigh. I guess we can kiss “shining city on the hill” and “kindler gentler nation” goodbye.

Three flights in the US and Canada this week were diverted over suspicious behavior and bomb threats. Waiting to see which airline is the first to turn this heightened security into a new fee.

 

 

Anyone but me still a bit getting used to seeing the Cincinnati Bengals leading their division in anything but arrests?

 

Donald Trump retweeted a graphic showing crime statistics on killings of whites and blacks that was simply flat out wrong, for example, it said 81% of whiles are killed by blacks, when the FBI numbers are 15%, and that blacks killed by whites were 2%, when the numbers are 7%. But really, why should the Donald start caring about facts now?

 

Rush Limbaugh said on “Fox News Sunday” that Ben Carson was “probably not” qualified to be president. “Probably?”

 

On United.com,  United Airlines has a “Thanksgiving Week” travel notice – “Please allow extra time at the airport.” Really? What was their first clue?

T.C. Chong, with a bus-to-hell Thanksgiving week thought,  “Why are there no important shopping days named “Yellow Friday” or “Indian Friday” or “Caucasian Friday”?

 –

On a lighter note, how can you not love the Belgians?   http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/nov/22/national-emergency-belgians-respond-with-cats

The lady might be really feeling green

November 17, 2015

 

Sadly ironic- “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free” is written on our most famous gift from France.

 

 

The Raiders’ Aldon Smith was reportedly shocked today when the NFL suspended him for a year for violating their substance abuse policy. This after the LB’s Aug 6 DUI arrest, his 5th arrest since 2012.
Guess Smith thought he still had some cap room under the league’s “10 strikes and you’re out” policy.

On a brighter Bay Area note,  Brandon Crawford, home-grown, 6 years, $75 million, no-trade clause. Well-played, SF Giants, well-played.

David Ortiz says he will retire after the 2016 season. Other teams are hoping Pablo Sandoval doesn’t say he will make the same decision – they couldn’t afford the farewell tour banquets.

Bobby Jindal says he is dropping out of the 2016 Presidential race. The most upset people? Louisianans. Now for the remainder of his term, Jindal’s got no reason to leave the state.

More Jindal ““I’ve come to the realization this is not my time.” Maybe he should have said “I’ve come to the realization that this is not my century?

An Ohio woman pleaded guilty to aggravated assault after being accused of stabbing her boyfriend when he ate all the salsa. Really? Who stabs someone for eating salsa. Now, had he finished off all the chocolate, completely justifiable.

 

Donald Trump said today that with Syrian refugees, President Obama is sending “them to the Republicans, not to the Democrats, you know because they know the problem.” Guess the Donald thinks that Ben Carson has been making too many inroads lately into his “crazy” vote.

Meanwhile, Chris Christie, saying he would not even allow Syrian orphans under five into the U.S. “You now, they have no family here. How are we going to care for these folks?” Again, three words, “pro-life my ass.

 

Three men and a woman who appeared to be of middle easternt descent, and with several carry-on bags, were removed from a Spirit Airlines flight for “suspicious activity,” and are being questioned in Baltimore.
Well, makes sense, with all their fees, who’s crazy enough to bring several carry-on bags on Spirit Airlines?

“What the United States has done is to be open to people who are fleeing tyranny, who are fleeing danger, but we have done it in a very careful way that has worked for us.” Yeah, just another commie pinko speaking out. Wait, this was Condoleeza Rice, saying she hopes the U.S. will be “open and welcoming” to refugees. Never mind.

 

Turtle experts in Marin have confirmed the sighting of a rare green sea turtle from Mexico in California’s San Joaquin river, possibly lured by warmer El Nino waters. So will Trump be railing against the immigrant turtle? At least he (or she) really is a wetback.

American Airlines has announced they are “evolving to build a rewarding (AAdvantage) program for all members, while giving our best customers access to our most exclusive benefits.” Translation, we’re going to start making sure our free tickets and upgrades mostly go to those who could afford to pay for them anyway.

 

 

 

Wow. Just wow. This from conservative commentator Ben Stein about President Obama “I don’t think there’s much question that he does not wish America well. He has a real strong hatred of America”
So are any of the GOP candidates going to have a John McCain moment and say, “Enough?”
Heaven knows I and other liberals wanted Bush out of office, but can’t remember a liberal commentator ever saying that he hated his own country. ‪#‎overtheline‬

And finally, really?   Channel 2 in the SF Bay Area did a story on the risks of Americans studying abroad, focusing on the death of the young California woman in Paris. And exactly how many students have been killed this year on US campuses?
Heck, for that matter, leaving crime aside, six Irish students died this year in a Berkeley balcony collapse. ‪#‎nosuchthingascompletesafety‬ ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

More solid for solidarity?

November 16, 2015

Forget diets. Maybe it’s time to show our solidarity with Paris by eating french fries? Lots of french fries.

 

The 1972 Miami Dolphins would have popped champagne tonight if they had actually realized the Bengals had still been undefeated.

The Indianapolis Colts, at 4-5 and 1-4 outside their division, are in line to host an NFL playoff game. Even NBA teams are thinking that’s crazy.

New prime minister Justin Trudeau has issued a directive to Canada’s justice minister to “create a federal-provincial-territorial process that will lead to the legalization and regulation of marijuana.”
Is there any way we can do a trade with our neighbors to the north. We want Trudeau, and we’ll send them Justin Bieber AND Ted Cruz?

The Dallas Cowboys, who signed Greg Hardy in the off-season despite him being unrepentant about a domestic violence conviction, are tied for the fewest victories in the NFL. Three words to that mean bitch Karma “You go girl!”

So what happens in these Red States if the Syrian refugees start saying they are fleeing Europe because of draconian gun regulations?

Michigan, Alabama, Texas, Arkansas, Louisiana, Indiana and Illinois have all said now they won’t accept Syrian refugees. Because in those states, Americans already do a good enough job of killing each other?

President Obama has just ordered U.S. flags flown at half-staff until Thursday at sunset. Waiting for the GOP Presidential candidates to tell us why this is wrong.

I understand the urge to do something, anything, after senseless killings. But why are the same people who are demanding immediate changes after all the deaths in Paris so completely laissez-faire about mass shootings here in the U.S?

Open note to those saying now U.S. should only take Christian Syrian refugees. Uh, how exactly do you prove someone is or isn’t Christian?

 

To be fair, USA should know dangers of allowing foreign refugees. Had we just refused Cubans entry in 50s we wouldn’t have ‪#‎TedCruz‬ & ‪#Marco‎Rubio‬

 

Really, Bobby Jindal says he wants to refuse Syrian refugees? Stupid. Just send them all to New Orleans, a city with a well-deserved reputation for corrupting the devout. Give even potential terrorists a few weeks and they’ll be down in the French Quarter wearing beads and praying for Allah to help the Saints.

 

If you need any more proof of what a mess American politics has become, I give you this quote from John Boehner, talking about having to sneak into meetings with Obama. “Because if I went to the White House to see the president, the right would get all worked up, wondering what I was up to. The left gets all worked up, wondering what the president is up to. ‘What are these two going to do now?”

Sarah Palin, saying she “can’t wait” for her daughter Bristol to have her second baby, expressing “enormous admiration” for single parents, and adding “the cool thing about putting your faith in God, is he certainly is a God of second chances and third and fourth and fifth chances.”
So exactly how many out-of-wedlock children is Bristol going to have?

Americans have notoriously short attention spans. But even so, hope the horrific events in Paris don’t get knocked from the front page by Charlie Sheen’s HIV status.

 

 

There is precedent for the sort of xenophobia we’re getting from some Americans today. Why when the IRA was doing horrible things to British civilians for decades U.S. naturally stopped immigration from Ireland…. Oh wait, never, mind.

From T.C.  “Justin Bieber is trying to put his past behind him by apologizing and acting more polished. To start, he will only bomb his neighbors houses with “cage free” eggs.”

Shout outs

November 16, 2015

Aaron Rodgers, calling out a fan who yelled an anti-Musim slur today at Lambeau Field. “I must admit, I was very disappointed with whoever the fan was that made a comment that was very inappropriate during the moment of silence. It’s that kind of prejudicial ideology that puts us in the position we are today as a world.”
So how often do I say about a Cal grad, well played sir, well, played.”
(even if the game wasn’t)

The way this season is going, the ones who will be yelling “Dallas sucks” loudest are Cowboys fans.

It’s a new trend for pro teams to sell game used jerseys. Alas Saints can’t do that today for defensive players. No proof they were used.

 –
Can only imagine what kind of stats Drew Brees could put up if he could play against his own defense.
Crazy week in the NFL. Have to wonder, have Aaron Rodgers, Drew Brees and Peyton Manning ever had a worse Sunday?
Interesting how when SEC team beat each other up in college football it is looked upon as a sign of conference strength, whereas when Pac 12 teams beat each other it is looked upon as a sign of conference mediocrity.
 –
United sent frequent fliers a message saying that for a week you can “share your miles with friends and family and save up to 30% on the transfer price per mile. So let me get this straight, you earn the miles, and they for a short time they will graciously charge you less to give them away. And airlines wonder why we hate them.
Bernie Sanders said last night that the US had more wealth inequality “than any major country on earth.” And actually,the 2015 Global Wealth Databook puts the share of wealth held by the top 1% in the U.S. puts us “only” 11th out of 37 nations – behind Russia, Thailand, Indonesia, India, Brazil, Chile, South Africa, China, Czech Republic and Israel.
But note the countries missing. So much for our decrying the European class system.

GOP candidates often act like it were a simple thing just to bomb the bad guys out of existence. Yeah, that idea worked so well after 9 11. ‪#‎assumingweevencanaimattherightbadguys‬

Proving that no one party has a monopoly on stupidity. Dan Kimmel, a Democrat who was running for state representative in Minnesota tweeted ” ISIS isn’t necessarily evil. It is made up of people doing what they think is best for their community. Violence is not the answer, though.”
He dropped out of the race today and said the tweet was poorly worded. Ya think? ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

From Bill Littlejohn, “Quarterback Blake Bortles says that his Jacksonville Jaguars are a ‘small step’ from contending. Well, remember, it took a decade and billions of dollars for Neil Armstrong’s ‘small step.’ ” .

T’is the season.

November 13, 2015

Apparently in Thursday night’s NFL game colorblind viewers couldn’t distinguish between the Buffalo Bills’ red uniforms & the NY Jets’ green uniforms. Worse yet, neither team’s uniforms featured Christmas symbols Where’s the protest from Christians?

If ‪#‎Starbucks‬ had just put out a plain holiday cup where people couldn’t decide what color it was they would have really broken the Internet.

Johnny Manziel, struggling with the Browns, is saying now he can’t see down the field because of his stature. And somewhere Drew Brees is just giggling.

A new police report says Heat guard Gerald Green, who was mysteriously suspended 2 games for “conduct detrimental to the team” apparently punched a man last week in Miami and was so combative that he needed to be handcuffed to be taken for medical help.
Is this just a blatant attempt by the NBA to steal headlines from the NFL?

Madison Bumgarner won another Silver Slugger award as the best hitting pitcher in baseball. Madbum is beginning to be to this award as Meryl Streep is to the Oscars.

Apparently Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s new “By the Sea” movie is likely to be a flop. “I feel so sorry for them both, what will they fall back on?” said nobody.

National Geographic is reporting “cougars are spreading back East after being confined to Western states for almost a century.” So maybe all the single rich geeky young men these days aren’t confined to California.

A councilman who oversaw the removal of public toilets in his town has been cited by police, for urinating in the street. Nope, not Florida. Scotland.

In 2014, the Department of Veterans Affairs apparently gave executives and other employees over $142 million in bonuses, despite scandals and allegations of mismanagement. So who says government can’t compete with the private sector?

Facebook, trying to compete with Snapchat, is experimenting with messages that will supposedly disappear after an hour. And if you believe they will COMPLETELY disappear, then you’re too stupid to think of a future run for office.

A member of the Secret Service has been charged trying to solicit a 14-year-old-girl on-line.(Turns out he was texting and email an undercover officer.) Makes you long for those innocent days when the Secret Service was just soliciting prostitutes.

Walter Palmer, the dentist who shot Cecil the lion, is now under investigation in Minnesota for illegal hunting activity. allegedly ‘herding deer back onto his land.” Can’t we take up a collection for this guy to go hunting with Dick Cheney?

The Chinese billionaire who bought the 12.03 carat “Blue Moon” diamond for $48.4 million, reportedly purchased it for his daughter, Josephine, age 7. Well, at least we know he has enough money for his daughter also to have years of therapy

The ISIS executioner known as Jihadi John has reportedly been ‘evaporated’ by a US drone strike; ‘killed in a flawless clean hit’ in Ragga, Syria. Can we blame Obama?

Donald Trump, slamming Ben Carson, and his rise in the Iowan polls = “How stupid are the people of Iowa? How stupid are the people of the country to believe this crap?”
Well.., maybe not stupid enough to vote for Trump?

Pancaked?

November 8, 2015

A huge sinkhole has swallowed more than a dozen cars in the parking lot of a new IHOP parking lot in Meridian, Miss. Kind of hard to stand your ground when the ground won’t stand.

Adam Vinatieri, 42, kicked a 55 yard field gold to give the Colts the win today over the Broncos and Peyton Manning. Not saying Vinatieri is old, but doesn’t it seem as if he must have also kicked against teams led by Archie Manning?

The video is horrible, no question, but if you do believe people can learn and change, Ray Rice is sure at least doing a very good imitation of a man who has done both: “I used to have a situation where kids were like, ‘I wanna be like Ray Rice.’ And now I have to think about kids and parents saying, ‘I don’t want you to be like Ray Rice.’ And that haunts me.”
Former Rep. Michele Bachmann:is now saying “The Holy Spirit is speaking to each one of us (Christians) to help bring in (convert) as many as we can — even among the Jews,” Wow. So does Bachmann think Ben Carson has a chance and she’s angling to be his running mate?
The buck passes here. Marco Rubio is attributing some of his personal expenses being billed to his GOP credit card – ,”because a travel agent had the credit card number — and they billed it to that card instead of the other card.” This including a Rubio family gathering of 20 rooms for three nights at a resort near Tallahassee starting the day he was sworn in as Florida House Speaker.
Uh, speaking for travel agents everywhere, leaving aside the number of hoops required to bill 20 rooms to one card, you make a mistake more than once like that with a credit card, you’re fired. ‪#‎callingBS‬

Texas Rep. Mike McCaul, confident that a bomb brought down the Russian plane, is saying that the Obama administration is in large part to blame because they haven’t done enough in the Mideast. And of course there’s no blame on a previous administration for doing too much in the Mideast…

You know if ‪#‎BenCarson‬ doesn’t want media reporting outrageous things he says maybe he could take a day off from saying outrageous things.

So the Dallas Cowboys have now lost six games in a row. So maybe Greg Hardy can get legally away with beating up and threatening a woman, but maybe also he can’t hide from that mean bitch karma.

A U.S jail escapee was arrested in Mexico after police were able to track him i because he was posting selfies on Facebook. He’s being held in a Mexican jail and is facing extradition back to… Idaho? Your move, Florida. ‪#‎Cantfixstupid‬

Vikings quarterback Teddy Bridgewater, who was elbowed in the head by Rams DB Lamarcus Joyner today, has been diagnosed with a concussion. If the NFL really wanted to stop this sort of thing it would be simple – injure a starter with an illegal hit that gets you fined, and you are out until they can return, even if it’s a season ending injury.

Oxford, MS, for the tweet of the month, maybe the year, after the Razorbacks shred the Ole Miss defense and win 53-52 in OT –

@OxfordPolice   Asking us to kick the Arkansas QB out of the stadium is not a legit reason to dial 911. ‪#‎ARKvsMISS‬

Sins of the mothers and fathers?

November 6, 2015

The Mormon church is now saying that gay couples can be kicked out, and their children can no longer receive blessings as infants, be baptized, or serve missions, unless the kids disavow the practice of same-sex relationships, or turn 18 and no longer live with their gay parents.
So the only way you can have two mommies is if both of them are married to your daddy?

Does anyone doubt that if Greg Hardy had a real job instead of playing for the NFL, that he’d be in jail now?

C.C. Sabathia says now he was “probably still drunk” during some of the Yankees’ last regular season games. Big deal. Youngsters, google Dock Ellis.

Donovan McNabb was sentenced to 18 days in jail for an “Extreme DUI,” his second DUI arrest in two years. What’s ‘Extreme DUI?” Well, partly it was that he was more than two times over the limit, partly it’s that as a retired NFL player you lose the “Get out of jail free” card.

Johnny Manziel says he “absolutely” wants to keep the Browns’ starting QB job. You know who else wants him to keep the starting job? Cleveland fans dreaming of the #1 draft pick.

Ben Carson “So, you know, I would say to the people of America — do you think I’m a pathological liar… Or do you think I’m an honest person? But hey, given resigned American attitudes toward politicians, maybe he’d be better off saying “You say I’m a pathological liar like it’s a bad thing.”

Jeb Bush has now had to apologize to French officials for criticizing Marco Rubio for missing Senate votes and saying “What is it, like a French workweek?”
But to be fair, it’s not like Jeb has spent much of his life in the public eye. ‪#‎SMH‬ ‪#‎sarcasm‬ ‪#‎notreadyforprimetime‬

With many districts In California now exposing the biggest water hogs, the drought equivalent excuse to sport’s”tainted supplement” is now a “leaky pipe.”

In California, warmer than usual Pacific Ocean waters have contributed to a toxic algae bloom that has delayed and might even cancel Dungeness Crab season. No crab? This is the kind of thing that might get even California Republicans on board to fight global warming.

Thursday in Britain was Guy Fawkes Day. Where the country lights bonfires and celebrates a failed plot to blow up the House of Lords in Parliament – basically their Senate. In the U.S. we don’t need anyone to try to destroy the Senate, we have Ted Cruz.

 –
So USA Today is reporting that Leonard Fournette’s family may have broken NCAA rules by trying to set up an online business selling T-shirts and hats with a BUGA acronym Fournette had helped develop in high school.
If the allegations are true that could mean sanctions against LSU – said absolutely nobody. ‪#‎SECteamsareneverwrong‬

The Rockefeller Center Christmas tree was put into place Friday in New York, where the temperature was 75 degrees. Maybe instead of a Norwegian spruce they should have ordered a palm tree?

Different worlds.

November 5, 2015

An astrophysicist at Caltech says he may have found evidence of alternate or parallel universes. Yeah, Americans already knew that. One is inhabited by Democrats, the other by Republicans.

Cincinnati is 8-0. Who’d a thunk the Bengals would lead the NFL in any category but arrests?

The National Geographic Society, which was just sold to Rupert Murdoch, announced they will lay off about 180 of its 2,000 employees. Including several people in the fact-checking department. Well, right, I mean, with a Murdoch company, who needs a fact-checking department?

Former President George H.W. Bush, 91, criticized Rumsfeld and Cheney in his new book. Well, he did only serve one term, is George Sr. trying to prove HE”s the Bush we should send back to the White House?

The Guardian is reporting that in London, historically one of the world’s most expensive cities, people were camping out overnight for a chance to buy new affordable flats starting at £199,000. (a little more than $300,000.)
Overnight? For those prices in SF people would camp out for a month .

The NY Post reported that an Apache Indian leader who has been speaking out against the Redskins name, posted a picture of himself dressed up as Bob Marley in blackface for Halloween.
Sigh. Once again, proof that no race has a monopoly on hypocrisy.

The Detroit Lions have fired their President and GM, and owner Martha Ford said “we want to make it clear that we have no intention of giving up on the season. We expect our team to compete and improve and win.”
Did they legalize marijuana in Michigan and not tell us?

Ok, so qualifying for the next GOP debate on Fox Business Network are Trump, Carson, Rubio, Cruz, Bush, Fiorina, Kasich and Paul.   Apparently I was mistaken, thought the prime-time debate was reserved for only the candidates who could actually win.

Carly Fiorina: “GOP is a conservative party. Conservative voters will pick our nominee. The conservative networks should host our debates! ” Maybe nobody told Carly that after the primaries there’s actually a general election?

Warriors owner Joe Lacob now says that he and his fiancée slept with the NBA championship trophy in their Cleveland hotel room. “I had made a promise to myselI would sleep with the trophy that night. Nicole and I did sleep with it. I’ll leave it to the imagination. We had a lot of fun with it.” ‪#‎TMI‬ ‪#‎classnothingbutclass‬

George Barris, 91, who created the original Batmobile, has died. Friends and family interested in going to his funeral have been instructed to turn back tomorrow. Same Bat time, same Bat channel.

The SF Chronicle reported that the SF Public Utilities Commission has released a list of their top water users in 2014. #1 was the Menlo Country Club, which used 320,842 gallons a day in Sept, enough for 7,825 typical San Francisco homes., and 66,322 gallons more than the utilities commission allotted the club with the current drought.
Yeah, once again, only little people care about water.

From Marc Ragovin:  “Jeb Bush’s new campaign slogan is “Jeb Can Fix It.” Is he running for president or to become a new Pep Boy?”

Ben Carson, on the pyramids in Egypt, which he thinks were NOT built as pharaohs’ graves. “My own personal theory is that Joseph built the pyramids to store grain.”
And some say it doesn’t matter that students don’t have to take much history to go to med school. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬ ‪#‎cantfixignoranteither‬

And finally, okay, friends and readers, time for a new game – what historical question would YOU like ask Ben Carson?

Big cats.

October 29, 2015

Thursday was National Cat Day. And cats are thinking, uh, EVERY day is National Cat D

In South Africa this week, a lion attacked a party of five men hunting illegally, killing one man and two dogs. Apparently mean bitch Karma also wanted to celebrate National Cat Day.

Ironic that on ‪#‎NationalCatDay‬ the GOP has elected a new Cat Herder ‪#‎PaulRyan‬

There are arguments over who won yesterday’s GOP debate. But it seems to me the real winners are obvious- anyone who chose to watch the World Series instead.

Really? There are are headlines about Farrah Abraham, who apparently has a sex tape and was on “Teen Mom,” now sharing her third boob job on the internet. It’s enough to make you long for the intellectualism of the Kardashians..

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar on the 2015-16 Lakers: “I think they’ll surprise people and I’ll expect them to make the playoffs at least.” Quick, can someone check Kareem for concussions?

In New York City, a new law says people applying for jobs will no longer be required to disclose a criminal history, What, were they having problems finding enough applicants to staff Wall Street?

Walmart is rolling out their first big holiday sale this weekend. So what’s next, Black Halloween?

Don Mattingly is new ‪#‎Marlins‬ manager . But really, shouldn’t job title be “Interim manager?” With Marlins they’rel ALL interim managers.

The NFL had a town meeting Thursday on potentially moving the Raiders to Los Angeles. Right about now SF Bay Area fans are thinking – could you take the 49ers instead?

The NBA is partnering with Kia to put a Kia Motors Crop. logo on player jerseys for the next two All-Star games. Right, because when you think of a car that would be driven by very wealthy very tall men you think of Kia.

Not a fan of the new Speaker of the House and fully expect he will make me angry in short order. But on the other hand, all these fundraising emails with the headline “Stop Paul Ryan”, can we at least wait until he tries to do something before we “stop” him? ‪#‎bipartisandreaming‬

Not that the  ‪#‎Bush‬ brothers don’t love each other. But isn’t there a chance that somewhere W. is sitting back smirking “Now who’s the dumb one?

Chef Anthony Bourdain said today, that “every restaurant in America would shut down” if Donald Trump won the Presidency,” because restaurants rely so much on immigrant labor. Yet another fool who thinks that if Trump somehow won he would actually honor his campaign rhetoric. ‪#‎Trumphotelsandconstructionprojectsneedimmigrantlabortoo‬

An Uber driver in St. Petersburg, FL, was arrested after he apparently traded a prostitute a ride for oral sex. Talk about surge pricing.

CNBC had a bad night with the GOP debate, no question. But with all these GOP candidates calling for substantive questions and dealing with major serious issues, which of them wants to be the first to say “Enough on Benghazi and arguing over what Planned Parenthood did with fetal tissue”?

Good news, bad news.

October 29, 2015

The good news, Fox didn’t lose power for game 2 of the World Series. Bad news, baseball fans had to listen to Joe Buck for the whole game.

Tough question Wednesday night for many Americans – what was more likely to drive them to drink  – listening to the GOP debate, or Joe Buck and company in the Fox World Series booth?

So A-Rod was in the Fox broadcast booth. Is Fox trying anything that will make Joe Buck sound good by comparison? ‪#‎WorldSeries‬

(my friend Renee says “A-Rod has a voice for newsprint.”)

The NFL has fined Steelers’ C William Gay $5,787 for wearing purple cleats in honor of his mother and other victims of domestic violence. Even though the league has had the pink theme for breast cancer all October.
So this is because the NFL really has nothing to do with domestic violence?
‪#‎sarcasm‬ ‪#‎heavysarcasm‬

Donald Trump said in a Sioux City speech “If I lose Iowa, I will never speak to you people again” ‪#‎promise‬?

Yesterday Kylie Jenner was voted one of Time Magazine’s 30 “Most Influential Teens.” ‪#‎beammeupScottytheresnointelligentlifeonthisplanet‬

The NY Jets signed punter Steve Weatherford last week when their regular punterr, Ryan Quigley, was sidelined due to an infection. Now that Quigley is better the Jets cut Weatherford after 4 days. Four days. That’s not a football contract it’s a Hollywood marriage.

A NORAD blump that surveys the East Coast got loose in Maryland was flying free over Pennsylvania. It has now been secured. Wonder which major airline will now institute a “blimp avoidance” fee?

Bills WR Sammy Watkins, angry with fans complaining about him being injured, took to Instagram to call them “losers,” and add “so continue working y’all little jobs for the rest of your lives….. go have a blessed day.”
Of course, “losers” with “little jobs” in Buffalo could save a lot of money staying home from Bills games.
‪#‎Cantfixstupid‬

If you are reading this and didn’t know Wednesday was National Chocolate Day, you’ve just missed it. So double or nothing?

Chris Christie, saying he’s the best choice against Hillary Clinton: “You put me on the stage with her next September and she won’t get within 10 miles of the White House.” So does Christie have a friend with control of D.C. area bridges?

The four lowest-polling GOP Presidential candidates were on earlier  Wednesday in the pre-debate “happy hour” debate. So called because you need to be getting drunk to watch it?

Bobby Jindal tonight at the kid’s table debate said that the U.S. is “going the way of Europe.” Thinking after 6 years of Jindal a lot of folks in Louisiana think Europe sounds pretty good.