Looking back

Kobe Bryant,  asked about going back in time to offer advice to himself as a rookie said “compassion & empathy.”   And presumably don’t order room service?

The Arizona Cardinals look so good this year you have to wonder if Cuba Gooding, Jr. isn’t somehow involved. ‪#‎Showmethemoney‬ ‪#‎JerryMaguire‬

Atlanta Falcons beat the previously undefeated Carolina Panders  give the 72 Miami Dolphins cause to ask their kids or grandkids to open those pesky champagne bottles for them.

So many bowls this year that are akin to participation trophies with both teams aspiring to mediocrity. By that token the 49ers-Lions match-up should be an honorary bowl game.

 

Thom Brennaman, announcing SF-Detroit today – ‘”When you make mistakes like we’ve seen the 49ers make in this game, it’s not a surprise that they’ve won four games this year.”
Well, actually you do wonder how they managed to win those four games.

Houston beat up on Tennessee behind Brandon Weeden. How can you not root for a team led by a QB cut last month by the Dallas Cowboys? (who ended up doing SO well without him)

Stephen Colbert said today “Donald Trump is like — I’m not the first person to say this, but I completely agree — that he’s my old character with 10 billion dollars.” Except that we could laugh at Colbert without it hurting.

 

At a Walmart this week, a woman was arrested for allegedly shooting up meth and then riding a motorized shopping car through the store while drinking wine, eating sushi, cinnamon rolls and rotisserie chicken. Do I even have to say “Florida?”

And of course, to be fair, Walmart sushi might be more dangerous than the meth.

A Louisville mall had to close early last night because of almost 2,000 disorderly teens wreaking havoc in the shopping center. ‪#‎Ifonlytheywerearmed‬

 

A Southwest Airlines flight from Sacramento to Denver tonight was diverted to Oakland Sunday evening after they had “pressurization issues.” So which airline will be the first to add a “pressurization” fee?

“The Force Awakens” has passed $1 billion at the global box office. And Disney is now researching ways to help Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher live to be at least 100. ‪#‎Episode27‬?

Donald Trump today is accusing Bill Clinton of sexism. And both the pot and kettle are doubled over in hysterics.

Supposedly Hillary and Bill Clinton joined Chelsea, her husband Marc and baby Charlotte on a walk around mid-town Manhattan today and even stopped in a bookstore. Unbelievable, as if in mid-town Manhattan any bookstore could still exist and afford the rent

Finally.  Seriously.  Damn, R.I.P. Dave Henderson, 57. Impossible to dislike, even when he played for a team you hated. Going to be a lot livelier during those softball games in heaven.

Explore posts in the same categories: football jokes, GOP jokes, holiday jokes, Uncategorized

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3 Comments on “Looking back”

  1. marc ragovin Says:

    The NBA has suspended Memphis guard Matt Barnes two games for his role in a preseason fight with Knicks’ coach Derek Fisher. Asked if would appeal the penalty, the chastened Grizzlie said he would “just grin and bear it.”

  2. TC in BC Says:

    Cellphones do allow us to do many things easier and more quickly, including qualifying for Darwin awards: In San Diego a man who was looking at his phone on Christmas Day just walked off a cliff.

    That reminds me of Rodney Dangerfield joke: I asked my dad how i could get my kite to fly and he said “try running off a cliff”


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