Looking back
Kobe Bryant, asked about going back in time to offer advice to himself as a rookie said “compassion & empathy.” And presumably don’t order room service?
–
The Arizona Cardinals look so good this year you have to wonder if Cuba Gooding, Jr. isn’t somehow involved. #Showmethemoney #JerryMaguire
–
Atlanta Falcons beat the previously undefeated Carolina Panders give the 72 Miami Dolphins cause to ask their kids or grandkids to open those pesky champagne bottles for them.
–
So many bowls this year that are akin to participation trophies with both teams aspiring to mediocrity. By that token the 49ers-Lions match-up should be an honorary bowl game.
Thom Brennaman, announcing SF-Detroit today – ‘”When you make mistakes like we’ve seen the 49ers make in this game, it’s not a surprise that they’ve won four games this year.”
Well, actually you do wonder how they managed to win those four games.
–
Houston beat up on Tennessee behind Brandon Weeden. How can you not root for a team led by a QB cut last month by the Dallas Cowboys? (who ended up doing SO well without him)
–
Stephen Colbert said today “Donald Trump is like — I’m not the first person to say this, but I completely agree — that he’s my old character with 10 billion dollars.” Except that we could laugh at Colbert without it hurting.
At a Walmart this week, a woman was arrested for allegedly shooting up meth and then riding a motorized shopping car through the store while drinking wine, eating sushi, cinnamon rolls and rotisserie chicken. Do I even have to say “Florida?”
And of course, to be fair, Walmart sushi might be more dangerous than the meth.
–
A Louisville mall had to close early last night because of almost 2,000 disorderly teens wreaking havoc in the shopping center. #Ifonlytheywerearmed
A Southwest Airlines flight from Sacramento to Denver tonight was diverted to Oakland Sunday evening after they had “pressurization issues.” So which airline will be the first to add a “pressurization” fee?
–
“The Force Awakens” has passed $1 billion at the global box office. And Disney is now researching ways to help Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher live to be at least 100. #Episode27?
–
Donald Trump today is accusing Bill Clinton of sexism. And both the pot and kettle are doubled over in hysterics.
–
Supposedly Hillary and Bill Clinton joined Chelsea, her husband Marc and baby Charlotte on a walk around mid-town Manhattan today and even stopped in a bookstore. Unbelievable, as if in mid-town Manhattan any bookstore could still exist and afford the rent
–
Finally. Seriously. Damn, R.I.P. Dave Henderson, 57. Impossible to dislike, even when he played for a team you hated. Going to be a lot livelier during those softball games in heaven.
Explore posts in the same categories: football jokes, GOP jokes, holiday jokes, UncategorizedTags: Clinton jokes, Janice Hough, Kobe jokes, NFL jokes, Trump jokes
You can comment below, or link to this permanent URL from your own site.
December 28, 2015 at 12:29 pm
The NBA has suspended Memphis guard Matt Barnes two games for his role in a preseason fight with Knicks’ coach Derek Fisher. Asked if would appeal the penalty, the chastened Grizzlie said he would “just grin and bear it.”
December 28, 2015 at 12:37 pm
nice, happy new year.
December 28, 2015 at 3:57 pm
Cellphones do allow us to do many things easier and more quickly, including qualifying for Darwin awards: In San Diego a man who was looking at his phone on Christmas Day just walked off a cliff.
That reminds me of Rodney Dangerfield joke: I asked my dad how i could get my kite to fly and he said “try running off a cliff”