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Birdbrains?

January 20, 2016

#‎SarahPalin‬ has endorsed ‪#‎DonaldTrump‬. Well, narcissists of a feather…..

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Or maybe Palin just likes Trump’s style, between his bankruptcies and divorces, Donald has does a fair share of quitting himself.

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Not that I am a fan of the Patriots nor their QB, but Broncos DE Antonio Smith says Brady’s a crybaby because “I’ve never seen any quarterback look to the referee right after he gets sacked.more” So instead of Brady whining to the ref, Smith is whining to the media? ‪#‎potmeetkettle‬

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So forecasters are predicting a major storm MIGHT dump over a foot of snow on the East Coast. Or it might not . “Depending on where this tracks, we could see a ton of snow or we could see nothing,” said National Weather Service Kevin Kacan.
But why let possibilities get in the way of a good media panic-fest?

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Airline brilliance in action: Have a client on an American flight, at airport hours early, wide-open earlier flight, and they say $75 to get on it. Whereas the flight he is on, with a decent seat, is more full, and has no aisles left, so they could at least resell the seat assignment. And these carriers wonder why people hate them.

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Sarah Palin’s 26-year-old divorced son Track was arrested last night for allegedly punching and kicking his girlfriend, while apparently waving a gun around. ‪#‎familyvalues‬ ‪#‎ifonlySHEwerearmed‬

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Donald Trump seems unconcerned about his referring to a line from the bible as “Two Corinthians” rather than “Second Corinthians.” Although it does seem with Trumps followers that he could say Jesus married Mary Magdalene and they’d shrug it off too.

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More on the Donald’s and his Corinthians (“Two”vs. “Second”). You would think that someone who has been married as often as Trump would remember how it goes. Because “First Corinthians” is quoted at so many weddings “Love is patient, love is kind…

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The President of the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences says she is “heartbroken and frustrated” about this year’s nominees, and they will “dramatic steps to alter the makeup of our membership.” So it just occurred to them that 94% Caucasian and 77% male with an average age of 62 isn’t great for diversity?

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Okay, now ‪#‎affluenza‬ teen Ethan Couch’s lawyer is claiming his client may have been taken “involuntarily to Mexico.” Right, as if that young man would pay attention to any adult, including his mother.

 

 

The password management company SplashData has come up with a list of the most popular passwords. Numbers 1-6 are, in order, 123456, password, 12345678, qwerty, 12345, and 123456789.

Thinking if you have any of those, you’re eligible for the hacking equivalent of a Darwin award.

 

An Italian surgeon is seeking donations to perform the world’s first ever human head transplant. No shortage of opportunities no doubt for head volunteers – based on some recent polls seems certain a lot of Americans aren’t using theirs.

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Although, whatever you think of this election it will be a very nice change when the front-runners are actually decided by actual VOTES, as opposed to polls. For what it’s worth, in both England and Canada’s recent elections pollsters were badly wrong. And for that matter, they didn’t do that well on last fall’s U.S. elections either.

 

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MLK Day.

January 18, 2016

Happy MLK Day. Martin Luther King, Jr., was a great man. No question. But if he lived in the internet age no doubt he would have been vilified for his personal life. Now, I love a good gossip as much as anyone. But I wonder, by our unrelenting 24-7 obsession now with looking for frailties, are we discouraging many men, and women, who might be potentially great leaders?

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Panthers coach Ron Rivera has banned hoverboards inside the Carolina Panthers’ facility and suggested his players not ride them to and from work. Now, I get it the week before a game where the winner goes to the Super Bowl. But right, because heaven forbid anyone who plays football should do anything where they can get injured.

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The Rams are talking $100 deposits on season tickets for 2016. And the first person to put down money was Magic Johnson. Wonder if he figures by the start of the season the Dodgers won’t have any games worth watching?

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Guessing the Golden State Warriors were a bit upset about that loss to the Pistons?

132-98.  Normally when Cleveland is this embarrassed, the Browns are involved. ‪#‎Cavs‬ ‪#‎GSvsCLE‬

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In Tennessee, police arrested a teacher after finding three of her students in the trunk of her car. Most people are going “How horrible.” And parents of multiple toddlers are thinking “You can do that?”

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New low-cost Spanish airline Air Europa Express is CHARGING applicants 60 euros to apply for a job. Two thoughts: 1, how awful. 2. Don’t tell U.S. airlines.

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Novak Djokovic, ranked #1 in the world in men’s tennis, says now “I turned down £110k to throw a match.” Scary. But what might be scarier is the number of players below him who are not saying anything.

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To win back customers, Chipotle is planning some free burrito giveaways, that will vary by location. Wonder how many of them might be tied into things like “Bring your mother-in-law to lunch day”?

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British Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn told a UK paper that he never got around to naming his cat, and just calls it “Gato.” (cat in Spanish.) Is he lazy, or does Corbyn just have a Audrey Hepburn in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s fetish?

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Donald Trump today told Fox News that a 2012 tweet, which he has frequently basically repeated, that the “concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make US manufacturing non-competitive” was just a joke.
Did it just occur to the Donald that Asian-Americans vote?

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Penthouse magazine says they are ending its print publication, going exclusively digital. Well, guess no one ever did pick them up at the store saying “I’m just buying it for the articles.”

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Watched Gigi again today. Still one of my favorite movies of all time. But it couldn’t be remade. Gaston would have to register as a sex offender.

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Damn, now Glenn Frey. Such a big part of the soundtrack of my youth. And one of my first album was the Eagles’ Greatest Hits. Too many young men in their 60s are dying. ‪#‎Alreadygone‬

 

So Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder is saying that the Flint water disaster is NOT his “Katrina.” Well, yeah, the hurricane started out as a natural disaster. In Flint, that state deliberately switched their water source in 2014 from Lake Huron to the Flint River to save money, then changed it back only after the corrosive water permanently damaged the lead pipes. So yeah, this isn’t Snyder’s Katrina, it’s much worse.

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from Marc Ragovin  “Just when you thought NFL refs couldn’t be more incompetent, they gave us the most screwed up coin toss since Dick York appeared in the Twilight Zone.

(yeah, its an old reference, but the episode is classic.”   (google it, children. :0))

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Is it February 2 yet?

January 17, 2016

Arizona vs Carolina next week to advance to the Super Bowl. Guessing the odds on having gotten those NFL teams picked correctly at the beginning of the year were only slightly less than winning the Powerball.

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And even less likely,  when it gets to Super Bowl Sunday, who’d a thunk the Cardinals-Panthers winner might actually be favored?

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After Carolina took a 31-0 lead at halftime, had to think the only people still watching the Panthers-Seahawks game in the 2nd half were probably ‪#‎TCU‬ fans. ‪#‎AlamoBowl‬

 

Watching today’s second AFC Divisional game have to think happiest NFL fans right now are in New England. ‪#‎Howdidtheseteamsgetthisfar‬?

 

#‎Peyton‬ vs. ‪#‎Brady‬ for the AFC championship. Does this make January 24, 2016’s honorary Groundhog Day?

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So on top of two amazing passes, the NFL playoff game between the Packers and Cardinals rode partly on a disputed coin toss, where some think the coin might have slightly favored heads? Anyone seen the Patriots’ ball boys?

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Wonder how many people turned off ‪#‎GBvsAZ‬ late figuring “Well, it’s over, the ‪#‎Cardinals‬ are going to win.” And they were right.

 

The more I hear about “The Revenant” the more I am convinced of of two things: One, give Leonardo the Oscar already. Two, I am never, ever going to see this movie.

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Apparently a flight attendant on a Ryanair flight delayed from eight hours from Glasgow told passengers they were not taking off due to ice on the wings and said “‘we don’t want to die.” This being Ryanair amazed they didn’t charge extra for the honesty.

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Monday the British Parliament is actually debating whether or not to ban Donald Trump from visiting the country. Sometimes you wonder why we Americans fought so hard for independence.

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A UK study says that 17 percent of British people over 50 say they drink 4 times a week. From a US perspective, ‪#‎Amateurs‬

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US and Iraq authorities are reportedly searching for 3 U.S citizens who were apparently kidnapped in Baghdad, With all due respect, what were these Americans doing in Baghdad in the first place? ‪#‎deathwish‬

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Last fall, a video went viral of Taco Bell executive Benjamin Golden, 32, beating his Uber driver in a drunken rage. Now Golden, upon sober reflection, is suing for $5 million, saying the recording was illegal, that the driver shouldn’t have picked up someone who was so drunk, and that since the video had so many viewers, now he, Golden has “emotional distress and anxiety” and has lost his job.
Which brings up a tough question: For douchebag of the year, who’s now the frontrunner? Benjamin or his lawyer?

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Parity?

January 16, 2016

Anyone but me just tired of the usual suspects in the ‪#‎NFLPlayoffs‬?   This is turning into “Same Time Next Year.”

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Just wondering, while ‪#‎TedCruz‬ is at it, when is he going to start denigrating Ivy League Princeton and Harvard values?

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Iran released 4 Americans prisoners on Friday, including Washington Post journalist Jason Rezaian. ‪#‎IblameObama‬

 

At a Friday rally for Carly Fiorina, a 10-year-old girl told the candidate “Donald Trump’s a moron.’ and Fiorina repeated it. Alas, even Carly’s good ideas aren’t original.

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Rand Paul, who opposed the Iran nuclear deal in Congress, told the UK Guardian that the U.S. prisoner release was ““a hopeful sign about the agreement” and “a sign that we need to continue to try to see if negotiations will work”. Proving once again that whatever his other pros and cons, Rand Paul is occasionally shows signs of being  way too reasonable to be the GOP Presidential nominee.

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Walmart says they will close 154 stores in the U.S., along with ending their Walmart Express format in urban areas. “I feel so sorry for them” said no small-business owners (and those who are ex-small business owners because of Walmart.)

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Now Ted Cruz is saying he’s sorry to New Yorkers, sort of. “I apologize to pro-life, pro-marriage, pro-Second Amendment New Yorkers who Cuomo brazenly told have no place in the state of New York…” Now, what about all those pro-choice, pro-marriage equality, pro-gun control Texans Cruz himself is saying have no place in Texas?

 

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Donald Trump is gloating in a tweet “I told you so” because a Texas lawyer has filed the first lawsuit challenging Ted Cruz’s eligibility to be President. But once again I ask, where is the birth certificate for that furry thing that lives on Trump’s head?

 

A British primary (elementary) school has banned children from bringing birthday cakes to class, because of possible allergies. Said the head (principal) it was “too much to expect teachers to read ingredient lists…. In our modern society in which we are held accountable, we cannot take the risk.”
Kind of makes you wonder sometimes how we all survived to adulthood.

 

 

 

Kobe Bryant says now he won’t pursue a spot on the next U.S. Olympic team. Well, of course not, coach Gregg Popovich might expect him actually to pass the ball. ‪#‎butthereisalwaystheSeniorOlympics‬

 

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The Tennessee Titans have hired interim head coach Mike Mularkey as their permanent head coach. Translation, they couldn’t find anyone better to take the job.

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And okay, if Lebron James  keeps this up, after returning to Cleveland and doing a nice job in Trainwreck, I might have to start liking him.

LeBron calls Tim Duncan the ‘greatest PF ever’ in heartfelt message

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Doing the math

January 15, 2016

The SF 49ers have given Chip Kelly a 4-year, $24 million contract. So that likely works out to about $12 million a year.

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Rams coach Jeff Fisher, on the team’s move to Los Angeles, acknowledged  the “great fan base” they are leaving, and said he hopes they will continue because “once you’re a Rams fan, you’re always a Rams fan.”
Right, like those whose spouses leave for what they perceive is a better offer still remain loyal to their ex’s.  #SMH

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Due to a dispute where the outgoing Yosemite concessionaire claims they own the names and want $51 million for them, the park’s hotels names are at least temporarily changing- for starters, the Ahwahnee Hotel is becoming the “Majestic Yosemite Hotel?”
Forget banks and airlines, now this is corporate greed that really may get Americans out with their pitchforks.

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A Tennessee woman who with her husband won $528 million on Powerball, took the day off to appear the “Today” show, but told her boss she’d be at work Monday. She did, not, however, mention Tuesday..

 

So do we blame the stock market drop on Obama. Or the fact that the market realized that one of the people on last night’s stage has a chance of being President?

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A woman who claimed to have spent all her money on Powerball tickets set up a GoFundMe page for donations from the public. Maybe she’d have gotten more sympathy these days if she said she put all her money in the stock market.

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Ted Cruz criticized Donald Trump for “New York Values.” Now, heaven knows I am not fond of Trump. But going directly after “New York Values?” Could there be a town to pick a fight with where more people in America still buy “ink by the barrel?”

 

Scary situation with many people killed and some potential hostages in Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso. Of course most Americans would be a lot more concerned if they had ever heard of Ouagadougou or Burkino Faso.

 

 

From my funny Canadian friend  T.C.  on Congress abolishing a bill that would reveal the source of meats sold in the U.S.  “Shortly afterwards, Taco Bell executives were seen high-fiving.”

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Musical clipboards.

January 14, 2016

So the 49ers have hired Chip Kelly as their next coach. Well, with Oregon Kelly does have experience dealing successfully with an amateur operation

 

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ESPN is reporting that Tom Coughlin is withdrawing his name from consideration to coach the Eagles. Because, at 70, thinking he has 2-3 years left, Coughlin wants to win right away. Guess that explains why the former Giants coach won’t be coming to San Francisco either.

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So there were, in the end, three Powerball jackpot winners. Which means each ticket will only get $528 million. Oh, the horror.

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So now that ‪#‎Powerball‬ jackpot has been won, will average Americans concerned about retirement go back to worrying about Social Security?

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Rough week. ‪#‎DavidBowie‬ and ‪#‎AlanRickman‬. I remember a time when I thought 69 was old.

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Okay, not a Harry Potter fan, so while I liked Alan Rickman in “Bottle Shock” mostly remember being furious at his character for cheating on the amazing Emma Thompson in “Love Actually.” Perhaps Kenneth Branagh might do well not to miss any checkups.

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Meanwhile, A new study at Stanford shows that being too focused on cleaning may be hazardous to our health. Yeah, I’m gonna live forever!

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Oscar nominations are out. And here we go again with ‪#‎onlywhiteactingmatters‬

 

Leaving the race issue aside, also pretty clear with Oscar nominations especially for Best Picture, that ‪#‎onlymaleleadsmatter‬ ‪#‎OscarNoms‬

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Jeb Bush has released a new campaign ad in which he calls Donald Trump “a jerk.” Uh, has anyone told Jeb that most of Trump’s supporters KNOW he’s a jerk. For some, that’s why they’re voting for him.

 

 

 

Bus to hell time: René Angélil, Celene Dion’s mentor-manager-husband, has passed away at the age of 73. Wonder what song she’ll sing at his funeral?

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Timing is everything?

January 13, 2016

The NFL is moving back to Los Angeles. So will LA Rams football fans who are also Dodgers ‪fans arrive in 2nd quarter & leave in 3rd?

 

United Airlines has sent an email to frequent fliers, excitedly touting their new free snack in domestic economy class. Either a half ounce package of savory mix or a stroopwafel  (dutch caramel) cookie.  Is the airline trying to induce “Stockholm Syndrome?”

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Hue Jackson has apparently decided to become the head coach at Cleveland. Just how bad has the 49ers franchise become that the Browns look like a better option?

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So the going rate for a new NFL stadium seems to be about a billion dollars. Does this mean tonight’s Powerball winner can if they want have the Raiders?

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Missouri has vacated their men’s college basketball wins from the 2013-14 and will not be eligible for this year’s postseason due to “major violations.” Meanwhile, Frank Haith, who coached during most of the violations, is happily coaching at an unsanctioned (for now) Tulsa. Ain’t NCAA justice grand?

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The search for MH370 in the Indian Ocean has turned up an 19th century shipwreck. And CNN is asking hopefully “Was it a cruise ship?”

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Iran has freed 10 U.S.sailors they detained for straying into their waters. Many in the GOP are furious. The sailors weren’t even held long enough for them to blame Obama.

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Former NFL RB Lawrence Phillips was found dead in his California prison cell early Wednesday, a suspected suicide. Not my better angels here but – “What a shame,” said nobody.

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Chris Christie has not only become anti-choice, he now denies ever making Planned Parenthood donations. Except this is the 1994 quote, from his pro-choice days. “I support Planned Parenthood privately with my personal contribution and that should be the goal of any such agency, to find private donations.”
Uh, Christie can’t just say “I have become pro-life and as such I realized I can’t support them anymore?” ‪#‎cantfixstupid

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The angry reaction from some Republicans on Nikki Haley’s speech doesn’t illustrate the difference between the conservative and moderate wings of the GOP: it illustrates the difference between the conservative and bat-shit crazy wings of the GOP.

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Bus to hell time – One of the men occupying that Oregon Wildlife refuge is unhappy that some responding to their call for supplies have been sending dildos. So what’s the problem, the occupiers also want K-Y jelly?

 

-reader Bill asks  “Just wondering? Do you think we could find Jimmy Hoffa if Rolling Stone could set up an interview with Sean Penn?”

(i wonder, maybe Penn could have helped us save a lot of money finding Bin Laden)

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State of disunion?

January 13, 2016

More politics than sports today.  But unless you were in Oakland, St. Louis, San Diego or Los Angeles, not exactly a big sports day.  Anyone who really doesn’t like our President can stop reading today’s post now 🙂  (or make a snarky comment, I am all for free speech.)

 

Seems odd to see Paul Ryan at the State of the Union, with John Boehner gone it means that on the podium Obama is now the only person of color

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#‎Obama‬ talked a lot about civility, and hope & being good citizens. Waiting for Trump to say he doesn’t want America to become soft.

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Amazing how many people who knock Obamacare are politicians and pundits and other professionals who’ve never had to worry about health insurance in their lives.

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Know not all my friends will agree, but today I was reminded of why I supported Senator Barack Obama a decade ago in the first place. ‪#‎SOTU‬

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I hope all Republicans who don’t like the idea of President Obama’s empty chair at the State of the Union to represent the victims of gun violence were equally upset at Clint Eastwood’s chair talk at the last GOP convention.

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The Family Research Council has invited Kim Davis to attend tonight’s State of the Union. Amazing. Now, I know they’re a conservative group, but no doubt they had at most a couple of tickets – and the person they most want to honor is someone who simply refused to do her job?

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The Powerball jackpot is looking to be over $1.5 billion. Wow. In a few years that will be about enough to cover the Dodgers payroll.
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New Vegas odds for the 2016-17 College Football Championship: Alabama 6/1, Clemson 7/1, Oklahoma 7/1, Ohio State 10/1,Baylor 12/1, Florida State 15/1, LSU 15/1, Michigan 15/1, Notre Dame 15/1, Tennessee 15/1
No university west of the Central time zone. I am shocked, said nobody paying attention. ‪#‎whatlatenightgames‬ ‪#‎wehavelatenightgames‬?”

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NFL owners voted today between Los Angeles stadium proposals and on which teams will occupy that new stadium. Discussions were reportedly heated. Oh, this billionaire on billionaire violence.

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The ‪#‎Rams‬ are coming back to ‪#‎LosAngeles‬. Until they decide new stadium isn’t good enough & and they can get more $$$ to go somewhere else

 

All this chatter in Northern California about Oakland “winning” with the Raiders. Uh, not exactly. It’s like your significant other decided to leave you for someone else, but then their future partner decided that he or she got a better offer.

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So was this ‪#‎NikkiHaley‬‘s speech to run as vice president? ‪#‎SOTU‬

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I would believe the GOP a lot more on their interest in healthcare reform if any of them had done a damn thing about it when they controlled Congress and the Presidency. Ditto helping the middle class, etc.

 

Apparently Kim Davis sat “stony-faced” during the SOTU when Obama said that “America has secured the freedom in every state to marry the person we love.” Well, yeah, because the four-times married Davis believes the President’s actions somehow have hurt heterosexual people’s freedom to have as many weddings as they need to get it right?

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Countdown.

January 12, 2016

Best thing about the College Football Playoff.  Now that the game is over,  we know it’s not much more than a month until ‪#‎MLB‬ spring training starts.

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Tonight was really as it turned out,  the Southern U.S. Football Championship.   A week and a half after the big bowls. So did anyone outside the South who doesn’t have money on the game really care?

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The real winners of last night’s Golden Globes hosted by Ricky Gervais? Amy Poehler and Tina Fey, who can now REALLY name their own price.

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Amazing how many stayed in TCF Bank Stadium to bitter end of ‪#‎Vikings‬ game. Though most fans may have been frozen to seats. ‪#‎SEAvsMIN‬

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Johnny Manziel now seems to have disappeared and not even the Browns know where he is. Even Lindsay Lohan is beginning to think this guy needs help.

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Monday on the New York City subway is ‪#‎NoPantsDay‬. Which means Tuesday on the subway is ‪#‎BringHandiWipesDay‬

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ESPN reported that several Denver Broncos players said today that while they are angry at Steelers’ center Cody Wallace for what they perceive as a dirty hit last month, they wouldn’t hurt the team with an ill-timed penalty.

Uh, who goes into any game saying they plan to lose the game over an ill-timed penalty?

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Adam Jones, still upset over the end of the Steelers-Bengals game and his personal foul penalty, claims that Antonio Brown flopped, and today said “He deserved a Grammy Award for that. I know if you just got knocked out you ain’t going to be able to wink and tell me you’re OK.”
A Grammy? Sounds like Pacman’s awareness of pop culture is at about the same level as his self control.

 

The SF 49ers have been granted permission to speak to former NY Giants coach Tom Coughlin, 70. Makes sense. Coughlin can sign a 4 year contract, and then working under Jed York and Trent Baalke, retire when he gets fired at 71.

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When sitting on hold for a long time to make a reservation, always wish just once that instead of saying, “Due to the high demand…”, companies would just be honest: “Due to the fact we don’t want to pay enough people to answer the phones….

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Donald Trump is bragging how he got the Manchester Union Leader removed as a sponsor of the next GOP debate. So apparently while he and other candidates are focusing on the 2nd amendment, it’s okay to trample on the first?

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Laissez les bonne temps roulez – Bobby Jindal is no longer governor of Louisiana.
Now what? At least since his campaign collapsing early Jindal has a good chance to be hired as a media pundit explaining why several other candidates have no chance.

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A Conn. rookie police officer has resigned and been charged with 1st degree larceny after saying he needed time off with pay for U.S.Army Reserves duty in December, when he was actually going to Hawaii with his girlfriend.

So he’s a cop, and a young man, and in this social media age he still figured there was no chance he’d get caught…. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬ Your move, Florida.

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And seriously, R.I.P. David Bowie. How many musicians manage to be relevant across the generations?   Give the man credit. Not only did he change music in many ways, Bowie also, in a 24-7 internet celebrity-focused age, managed to fight a long battle with terminal cancer without the tabloids and various other media picking up on or publicizing it.  Godspeed, Major Tom.

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A little knowledge

January 10, 2016

Amazing. The same people who suddenly become experts on “triple axels” after watching two days of figure skating in the Olympics now are experts on where the laces should be on a field goal kick.

 

Donald Trump’s latest: NFL referees throw flags to impress their wives watching at home. ‘It (football) has become soft, and our country has become soft.'”
Remember those Furbys – were electronic pets that came up with all kinds of randomly correlated nonsense? Beginning to seem like one of them is running for President.

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After this weekend, four NFL teams likely never to watch “Wizard of Oz” again – “There’s no place like home, my ass.” ‪#‎WildCardWeekend‬

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The temperature was well below zero for Sunday’s  ‪#‎SEAvsMIN‬ game. Might have been almost as cold as White House family dinners after Hillary found out Monica was telling the truth.

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So who will be the first ‪#‎GOP‬ candidate to blame today’s Washington game on Obama? ‪#‎GBvsWAS‬

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The 49ers reportedly may hire Bengals offensive coordinator Hue Jackson as their new coach. Well, after yesterday’s Cincinnati meltdown, SF probably looks like less of a train wreck by comparison.

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Watching the political craziness now thinking that had only the Stanford band decided to mock the Iowa caucuses instead of farmers, they’d be getting near universal applause.

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Carly Fiorina missed yesterday’s GOP forum supposedly due to “travel issues.” Hmm. Maybe Carly missed a flight while trying hard to figure out which Wild Card NFL team came from the state with the earliest primary, so she could say even though she lives in California she was rooting for them?

 

Awful miss for Blair Walsh on what would have been his fourth field goal of the night, which would have probably won the game for the Vikings. But okay, four field goal attempts?! If Minnesota’s offense gets the ball into the end zone ONCE that kick is unnecessary. ‪#‎plentyofblametogoaround‬

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Donald Trump today said he takes being compared to P.T.Barnum as a compliment. And indeed, the Donald isn’t aiming to “fool all of the people all of the time”, just over 50% or a plurality in the election.

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Donald Trump is ramping up his birther attacks now on Ted Cruz. Once again, the Donald should be careful, seems pretty unlikely that furry thing that lives on his head was born in the U.S.

 

The President of Volkswagen said “We are not a criminal brand.” A criminal brand, no, a band of criminals, maybe.

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Bus to hell time.   So a personal foul made the difference in setting up the Steelers’ game winning field goal.  Any other women find it ironic that alleged rapist wins a playoff game because another man was penalized for a stupid brutal act? ‪#‎PITvsCIN‬

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Bungled

January 9, 2016

Nothing is certain but death, taxes, and the  Bengals finding a way to lose in the playoffs. ‪

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Silver lining dept: Suppose at least the Reds, who were up 2-0 and needed just one win in three home games to beat the SF Giants in the 2012 NLDS, are off the hook for the most crushing loss in modern Cincinnati sports history

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Both teams had serious issues holding onto the football in rain. Where are the ‪#‎Patriots‬ ball boys when you need them? ‪#‎PITvsCIN‬

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Happiest football fans not in Pittsburgh tonight have to be fans of the Denver Broncos. ‪#‎twosuckyteams‬ ‪#‎PITvsCIN‬

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Two weeks ago, the Denver Broncos were down 14-0 at half time to the Cincinnati Bengals and almost out of the playoffs. Now, watching the Pittsburgh-Cincinnati game, and with Big Ben possibly out, got to wonder -maybe God really does want Peyton to retire with one more ring.

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Roger Goodell apparently said in a report to all NFL teams that stadium solutions in San Diego, Oakland & St. Louis were “unsatisfactory” and “inadequate,” and that he would not block any of the teams’ relocating. Did anyone doubt that would be his deci$$$$$ion?

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Watching former Cleveland QB Brian Hoyer’s  day for the Texans today makes you realize why the Browns took a chance on Johnny Manziel.

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Thinking today ‪#‎AlexSmith‬ is just feeling brokenhearted about being booted to the ‪#‎Chiefs‬ from the ‪#‎49ers‬ in favor of ‪#‎ColinKaepernick‬.

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Steve Deberg, Joe Montana, Steve Bono, Elvis Grbac, Alex Smith…. so how long does it take until Colin Kaepernick resurrects his career in Kansas City? ‪#‎49ers‬ ‪#‎Chiefs‬

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So people said the Stanford Band’s halftime Rose Bowl performance was offensive but no one has a problem with children watching football seeing multiple erectile dysfunction commercials?

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So some discussion on whether or not we should extradite “El Chapo” to the U.S. Seems reasonable enough to me if we can make a deal that Mexico keeps Ethan Couch?

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Affluenza” mom Tonya Couch’s lawyers “We would like to thank Sheriff Dee Anderson for taking time out of his busy day serving as this county’s chief law enforcement officer to personally escort a 5’1”, 110 pound handcuffed and leg shackled female who was guarded by at least 2 armed deputies yesterday.”
Ah, sarcasm directed at the sheriff, and complaining about the jail accommodations. This is going to go well. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

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In Germany, police were able to reunite an American woman with her $2.7 million violin after she accidentally left it on a train. Think I’m not going to feel so bad the next time I forget my sunglasses.

 

Apparently there will be a lot more security at the College Football championship game Monday than there will be at the Super Bowl. Don’t suppose there’s any correlation with the fact that the BCS game will be in Arizona, which has some of the most lenient gun laws in the country….

–

In Germany, police were able to reunite an American woman with her $2.7 million violin after she accidentally left it on a train. Think I’m not going to feel so bad the next time I forget my sunglasses.

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Ted Cruz suggested on Friday that Hillary Clinton be given a “spanking” by voters. Is Cruz trying to appeal to that off-neglected kinky vote?

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At a GOP forum today in South Carolina the candidates basically all agreed that government could not end poverty and they were against a culture of dependency. So of course in the spirit of helping people get ahead then they are all in favorite of education, child care programs, free mental health care and birth control, right?

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Brilliant line from reader Frank W. on a guess for what date  El Chapo might escape yet again from prison.  “Dibs on Feb. 2 in the pool.”

(yeah, took me a few seconds.)

 

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Born lucky?

January 9, 2016

“Star Wars: The Force Awakens” has now made Harrison Ford the highest-grossing actor in US box office history. Of course, the way this franchise is going, #2 might be the guy who plays Chewbacca.

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Florida congressman Alan Grayson says he will sue over Canadian-born Ted Cruz’s eligibility to be President if Cruz wins the GOP presidential nomination. And somewhere in D.C.Barack Obama is just giggling.

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Justin Bieber was kicked out of the archaeological site, Tulum, after he reportedly showed up with beer cans, tried to climb off-limits ruins, and took a selfie with his underpants down. Following upon the antics of Ethan Couch, Mexico’s going to start thinking seriously about that border fence. ‪#‎affluenza‬

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The “Affluenza” teen’s mom Tonya Couch has according to a Texas sheriff, “expressed a slight displeasure about her accommodations” in jail. “I feel so sorry for her,” said absolutely, positively, nobody.

–

Texas Governor Greg Abbott now wants to amend the U.S. Constitution so that states can ignore the Federal government. Fine, does that also mean the Feds are off the hook for those states’ disaster relief?

–

Prolia, a drug to fight osteoporosis in post-menopausal women, does television commercials with the usual laundry-list of fine print warnings. Including this one – “do not take Prolia if you are pregnant or trying to become pregnant.” ‪#‎whythereisnosatire‬

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The stock market just had its worst week ever to start a year. But the jobs report said the U.S. added 2.65 million jobs in 2015, its 2nd best year since 1999. So I think I’ve figured it out: The former is all Obama’s fault, the latter had nothing to do with him

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A man who ate nothing but Chipotle for 186 days says he has cut back to occasional meals there now. Who knew, these days McDonald’s seems like the healthy option?

–

Chris Christie, who in 1995 campaigned for NJ State Senate as a supporter of an assault weapons ban. Now he says he’s “changed his mind.”
You know, I’d believe these folks a little more if they ever changed their minds in a way that didn’t put them more in line with their party’s base.

–

DeSean Jackson on the Eagles’ firing coach Chip Kelly: “I’m a firm believer that bad karma comes back on you.” And so will Ms. Karma make sure Kelly ends up with the 49ers next?

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As of Jan 1, licensed gun owners in Texas can now openly carry guns into state mental hospitals. Your move, Florida. ‪#‎whatcouldpossiblygowrong‬

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#ElChapo‬ has been caught again in Mexico. Too soon to start a pool on the date of his next jail break?

 

But really, so they are putting El Chapo back into the exact last jail he escaped from? Even in Florida they are saying “Are you nuts?”

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Maine Governor Paul LePage, ranting about Maine’s drug problem and blaming traffickers: “These are guys with the name D-Money, Smoothie, Shifty … they come from Connecticut and NY, they come up here, they sell their heroin, they go back home ..half the time they impregnate a young, white girl before they leave, which is a real sad thing because then we have another issue we have to deal with down the road.”

Wow., that’s offensive enough you have to wonder if LePage has dreams of being Trump’s running mate.

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A cold day…

January 7, 2016

 

The Minnesota Vikings are warning their fans that temperatures are expected to hit a high of 1 degree on Sunday. And Green Bay fans are thinking “1 degree? We could wear shorts.”

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Lots of expert predictions on this weekend’s NFL playoff games. And we should listen to all those experts because they all predicted the hosts for these games would be Houston, Cincinnati, Minnesota and Washington?!

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So now Johnny Manziel has been cited for driving with expired license plates. Even JaMarcus Russelll is saying “Dude, get it together.”.

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The Tampa Bay Buccaneers fired Lovie Smith, who was their third coach in five years. Somewhere even George Steinbrenner is thinking, “Jeez, show a little patience.”

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Missed the ‪#‎Powerball‬ numbers last night by six. And I didn’t even play.

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The next Powerball lottery jackpot will approach $700 million, resulting in turn millions of new players.  Because $400 million just doesn’t buy what it used to?

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House Speaker Paul Ryan on what the GOP needs to do to win: “We have to show people what our principles are and how we apply those principles to the problems of the day to offer people real solutions”
And most of the Presidential candidates are going “Principles?”

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One big problem faced by the the ‪#‎SF49ers‬ in their coaching search – any coach who is smart enough for the job, is probably also smart enough not to take it. ‪#‎trainwreck‬

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Since their spring semester has started, Clemson asked for and got an NCAA waiver from a rule today which prevents “in-session” schools from practicing or holding team meetings for more than four hours per day or 20 hours per week. The school said players will miss class “only with professor approval.” And of course if any professor denies approval it would only be a coincidence if that professor is denied tenure.

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A man handed a Bradenton hospital employee a wrapped burrito he said was for a patient. The employee checked and found that inside the burrito was a syringe of heroin. Back on your game, Florida. ‪#‎andyouthoughtguacamolewasaddicting‬?

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A man handed a Bradenton hospital employee a wrapped burrito he said was for a patient. The employee checked and found that inside the burrito was a syringe of heroin. Back on your game, Florida. ‪#‎andyouthoughtguacamolewasaddicting‬

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House Speaker Paul Ryan said that Obama’s executive actions on guns were “a distraction” and that the President should be focused on fighting terrorism. But hey now, that 62nd repeal attempt for Obamacare, THAT was important.

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Interesting that ‪#‎JohnMcCain‬ stated strongly that ‪#‎BarackObama‬ was an American but he’s not so sure about ‪#‎TedCruz‬

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Hillary Clinton, asked this week about extra-terrestrials, said “I think we may have been visited already” by aliens. “We don’t know for sure.” Heck, for all we know, one or two of them may be running for President.

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From my funny friend Jerry Perisho “Ken Griffey, Jr. was voted into the Baseball Hall of Fame. On his way to the podium, he pulled a hamstring and was placed on the disabled list.”

 

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All wet.

January 6, 2016

It’s just one storm series. Still a bit odd when you live in California and the newspaper story about the state still being in a drought is hard to read — because the paper got soaked clear through the plastic this morning.

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The NFL is reportedly looking for 500 volunteers to help assembly the half-time stage for the Super Bowl. They expect the time commitment to be at least 33 hours counting rehearsals, and no, a game ticket is not included. But hey, if you’ve started out the New Year in a charitable mood. The league IS a nonprofit…. ‪#‎whythereisnosatire‬

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The Rams in their NFL relocation bid to return to Los Angeles do some serious St. Louis bashing. Well, this ought to be fun when the Dodgers come to Busch Stadium this year to play the Cardinals.

 

 

#‎KenGriffeyJr‬ was elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame with 99.3% of the vote. So would the .7% (3 voters)  like to explain their reasons?

 

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Meanwhile, Mike Piazza. who admitted taking at least “andro,”  proved that the writers think that a “good” guy with PEDs beats a “bad” guy with PED’s?

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Ammon Bundy, the Oregon militia leader, says he is “following directions from God.” And God says, “Don’t blame me, I have nothing to do with this a**hole.”

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Sean Payton says he is staying in New Orleans, “I can’t imagine me ever coaching another team.” So guess it’s “the Devil and Saints you know.

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Some skepticism on North Korea’s alleged H-bomb test, even though it allegedly caused seismic activity. Maybe the earthquake was caused by Kim Jong Il throwing a temper tantrum?

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Libertarian Gary Johnson said today he is running again for President in 2016. Not that he has a chance, but no doubt Johnson is already outpolling at least 2-3 GOP candidates.

 

Gov. Sam Brownback of Kansas just tweeted “Congrats Alex Gordon, with your new contract you’ll save about $1.8 million by living in KS instead of CA.”
Right, and then most winters Gordon can spend much of that $1.8 million getting out of Kansas. (And the Royals DO play in Missouri.)

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Macy’s says they will eliminate more than 4,500 jobs. And then presumably they will have a “One Day Layoff Sale?”

 

An 8-year-old girl is recovering in the hospital after she fell off a ski lift at Squaw Valley near Lake Tahoe. The girl apparently was not using the chair’s safety-restraint bar. Sure hope her parents don’t decide to sue for the resort not making her use the bar….

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Joe Biden says of his decision not to run for President in 2016. “I regret it every day.” I wonder if this has anything to do with the fact that Twitter may be expanding their tweets from 140 to 10,000 characters.

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On their 62nd try, Congress passed a repeal of the Affordable Care Act and sent it to the President to veto. So now they can return to attacking Obama for, amongst other things, wasting taxpayer money.

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From my funny friend  Alex Kaseberg  – Steve Harvey would like to personally congratulate Jose Canseco on his selection to the Hall of Fame.

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Is it safe?

January 6, 2016

Many are condemning President Obama’s executive orders on guns , although they seem relatively mild. But let’s be real, if the car makers of America had as much political clout as the NRA, there would be an outcry if Obama made safety proposals about driver’s licenses.

 

Actually President Obama probably has it wrong; if he REALLY wanted to get serious gun control passed, he would quietly encourage the formation of American “Open Carry” Muslim groups.=

 

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Cowboys owner Jerry Jones says the team is open to “some risks” in getting a new young backup QB. Let’s see, wonder how many seconds after that remark went online did Jones get a phone call from Cleveland?

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Just waiting for someone to ask those ‪#‎OregonMilitia‬ men who they are endorsing for President.

 

Eight Ohio State Buckeyes so far are foregoing eligibility to declare early for the NFL draft. Knowing Urban Meyer and his players, have to wonder how many of them might have worn out the patience of the Columbus police?

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The new “Bachelor” season has begun. Might not bode well for some of the presidential candidates – Americans now have another way to get their regular dose of “crazy.

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A six-year-old Canadian boy, Syed Adam Ahmed, has apparently been on Canada’s no-fly list since he was a toddler because of his name. Waiting for Donald Trump to weigh in and say “You can’t be too careful.”

 

 

Tonya Couch, the mom of “affluenza” teen Ethan, waived an extradition fight and will be returned to Texas. Her lawyers issued a statement While the public may not like what she did, may not agree with what she did, or may have strong feelings against what she did, make no mistake — Tonya did not violate any law of the State of Texas and she is eager to have her day in court.”
Just guessing this might be one of the few times a bipartisan jury might agree otherwise.

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SF  49ers reportedly talking to Mike Shanahan about coaching vacancy. Makes sense, after Dan Snyder in Washington,  49ers owner Jed York might seem almost normal

 

In Texas, a 20-year-old young woman who was acting as a designated driver New Year’s Eve for her sorority sisters was shot dead in an apparent road rage incident. Now a suspect has been arrested, and he is an active Marine. So how do you stop a “good guy” with a gun? ‪#‎ifonlythesisterswerearmed‬

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Arkansas  Senator Tom Cotton, a Republican, endorsed Bernie Sanders in the Democratic Primary. Wonder which Democrat in Congress might respond by endorsing Rand Paul?

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A California Sheriff’s Deputy, Mark Heath, who drove cross country on vacation this December was arrested along with two friends, allegedly with 250 lbs of marijuana and $11,000 cash that they planned to deliver in Pennsylvania. In Yuba County, Heath was part of a drug and gang task force. He has now been placed on leave. (And he couldn’t have driven the pot to Oregon?) ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

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Florida Atlantic University has officially fired James Tracy, a tenured professor who has publicly claimed the Sandy Hook killings were a hoax, and then feuded with parents of the victims. Good for them. But why do I think that there will no doubt be some who will be lining up to hire him?

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Pressed flat?

January 5, 2016

SF 49ers owner Jed York today in his press conference announcing the firing of Jim Tomsula: “I’m not a football expert.” Right, so after 2014 season you fired the coach that actually WAS. ‪#‎Harbaugh‬ ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

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Let’s see, Jim Harbaugh was fired from SF basically because of his ego and abrasive personality. Now Chip Kelly has let it be known he is interested in the 49ers job. Get some popcorn folks, we could end up with the first football management team with thermo-nuclear capability.

 

#‎JedYork‬ says he will sell the ‪#‎SF49ers‬ “over his dead body.” Guess Jed feels brave enough to say that due to California’s strict gun laws.

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SF 49ers GM Trent Baalke indicated today in a later press conference he didn’t know the length of his own contract (he signed an extension last year through 2018). Now, local media are making fun of the lie, but who knows, maybe it could be true. Would explain a lot about SF’s horrendous drafts lately.

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The ‪#‎Raiders‬, ‪#‎Chargers‬ & ‪#‎Rams‬ all requested permission today to move to the Los Angeles area. A few more press conferences like today’s from Jed York and ‪#‎49ers‬ fans may be saying “uh, can we volunteer our team too?”

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Johnny Manziel was apparently seen partying in Las Vegas last Saturday night. Maybe it’s time to change his trademark name from “Johnny Football” to “Johnny F*ckup.”

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Tom Coughlin has resigned as coach of the NY Giants. So guess after 12 years he’s looking to be ringmaster of a different circus?

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Hunter Pence just bought a 2 bedroom luxury condo in San Francisco. At his $18.5 million a year ‪#‎SFGiants‬ salary he can probably just stretch to cover the payments.

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The Stanford women’s basketball team scored only 31 points Monday night.. Are they trying to be named honorary 76ers?

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Donald Trump’s latest fear-mongering was a warning today that President Obama’s planned executive actions mean “Pretty soon you won’t be able to get guns.”
To be fair, if we had serious mental health restrictions on purchasing firearms, based on many of his statements Trump himself probably couldn’t pass a background check.

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Oh, Lord.

January 4, 2016

Final season of Downton Abbey starts tonight in the U.S. Amazing For six years on Sunday nights Americans weren’t lying when they said they preferred watching PBS.

 

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Wonder if the final straw that resulted in the firing of Jim Tomsula was the 49ers coach managing to pull out a close game in overtime, and thus costing San Francisco at least a few positions in the NFL draft.

 

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So now there are rumors that the 49ers may try to lure head coach Sean Payton from the Saints, rumors fueled in part by the fact that Payton’s daughter now is in college at Pepperdine and he misses her.
Uh, except if that’s the motivation in at most a year Payton can probably have his choice of two new Los Angeles teams are not complete clusterf*cks.

 

San Diego and Denver playing an exciting game with playoff implications, and in Northern California CBS & NFL insisted to keep showing the Rams and 49ers playing to see who had the  worst offense in the league.

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The SF 49ers fired Jim Tomsula but kept GM Trent Baakle.  Wasn’t this kind of like firing the catering manager on the Titanic?

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#‎NYJets‬ and ‪#‎NYGiants‬ accomplished one thing today – got New Yorkers REALLY looking forward to Spring Training.

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From my funny friend Jerry Perisho  “I’m watching the Washington-Dallas football game. Clearly, it’s time to stand up for innocent people whose name is being denigrated through its crass association with a football team. Change the name of the Cowboys.”
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Chris Christie called Obama a “petulant child” for the President’s plan to override Congress with executive action to curb gun violence. Yes, Chris Christie, the same formerly pro-gun control Governor who himself this year vetoed several gun control bills passed in New Jersey….. ‪#‎whythereisnosatire‬

(as my friend Jon N says, Because nobody would ever consider shutting down a bridge to be petulant. My guess is that’s where Christie learned the word.)

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Saudi Arabia just had a mass execution of 47 people, spread out amongst a dozen prisons, by firing squad and beheadings. And these are our civilized “friends” in the region?

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Bus to hell time: Bill Cosby was arrested and the Pittsburgh Steelers sneaked into the NFL playoffs. So all in all a mixed week for rapists.

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Lost?

January 3, 2016

Not saying the Hawkeyes defense really lost track of during the . But I hear they’ve put his picture on milk cartons.

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Potential good news for Stanford fans in 2016: Since McCaffery did so well in the Rose Bowl and he’s a good looking,  likeable kid, maybe the television gods, who rule college football, may decide to put the Cardinal on TV at reasonable times in hopes of good ratings.

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It is actually trending on social media that folks are upset because the Stanford band made fun of Iowa with a simple halftime performance featuring a farmer and a corn field and a cow, which included saying that Iowans meet on “farmersonly.com.”
Uh, has anyone who is upset actually seen or heard of the Stanford band before? ‪#‎prettymildbytheirstandards‬

 

#‎TCU‬ beat ‪#‎Qregon‬ after being down 31-0 at ‪#‎AlamoBowl‬?!    Wow. Looking back Jim Bowie and Davy Crockett had better odds against the Mexican army.

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This is the last time ‪#‎Oregon‬ gets to dip into the celebratory brownies at halftime.

 

So let’s see, neither Iowa nor New Hampshire nor South Carolina has ‪#‎NFL‬ team. Does ‪#‎CarlyFiorina‬ root for ‪#‎Patriots‬ or ‪#‎Panthers‬?

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Californians wonder if Fiorina got the idea to root for Iowa because she has fond memories of developing the concept of Demon Sheep there?

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Note to ‪#‎CarlyFiorina‬: If you are going to pander to get votes in GOP primary., pick a state whose team could actually win.

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Just imagine how popular ‪#‎CarlyFiorina‬ will be at her next ‪#‎Stanford‬ reunion.

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The ‪#‎TaxSlayerBowl‬? It’s enough to make you long for the innocent less commercial days of the ‪#‎PoulanWeedEaterBowl‬

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So was the prize for winning the ‪#‎Motel6CactusBowl‬ not having to spend the night after the game in a ‪#‎Motel6‬?

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So how long will it be until ‪#‎DonaldTrump‬ start railing against the ‪#‎StanfordBand‬?

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Yahoo Sports reports that Alabama, who beat Wisconsin in their season opener at AT&T, and then MSU in the Cotton Bowl, now has more wins (2) than the Cowboys do this season (1) in Dallas’s home stadium.‪#‎Dallasreallysucks‬

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Affluenza teen Ethan Couch has hired a prominent Mexican lawyer, Fernando Benitez, to fight his dispensation, and says authorities are “‘unlawfully separating him from his dog.” And even ambulance-chasing lawyers in the U.S. are thinking “Benitez, have you no shame?”

 

On Saturday a group of armed self-described millitiamen took over a federal building in Oregon wildlife refuge after an anti-government rally. So much for that “well-regulated” part.

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And if you haven’t heard anything on the story on the news… well, the men are white.  And none of them are Muslim.  #justsaying

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Rosy feeling

January 2, 2016

#Iowa discovered today it’s a lot easier to tip a cow than ‪#‎McCaffery ‪#‎RoseBowl‬ ‪#‎Stanford‬ ‪#‎fearthetree‬

 

#‎Pac12‬ would be perfect in bowl games if weren’t for those underachieving schools from Southern California.

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Christian McCaffery’s older brother is a WR at Duke, his younger brother Dylan will be a senior QB in HS & has accepted a scholarship to Colorado. Youngest brother Luke was JV QB last year. Note to ‪#‎Stanford‬ and ‪#‎DavidShaw‬: Recruit him now.

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So to be a Power Five conference shouldn’t you actually have to win some bowl games? ‪#‎NotsoBig12‬

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Overhead shot of the ‪#‎RoseBowl‬ in the 4th quarter. Where did all the yellow fans go? ‪#‎Iowa‬ ‪#‎Stanford‬

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So have to wonder, what did ‪#‎Iowa‬ coach tell his team at ‪#‎RoseBowl‬ halftime? ‪

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So you think there are any ‪#‎Heisman‬ voters wanting a mulligan? ‪#‎RoseBowl‬ ‪#‎McCaffery‬. ‪#‎Stanford‬

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Brent Musburger very disappointed in ‪#‎McCaffery‬. Christian doesn’t have a known gorgeous girlfriend who Brent can droll over. ‪#‎RoseBowl‬

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Stealth bomber again shown flying over the ‪#‎RoseBowl‬. So isn’t it supposed to be invisible?

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Most of college football would like to thank Jim ‪#‎Harbaugh‬ and ‪#‎Michigan‬ for standing up today against idea of ‪#‎SEC‬ dominance. ‪#‎Citrusbowl‬

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Note to Stanford grad Carly Fiorina – you’re better off panderingto Iowa with ethanol. And you’re as good at picking teams as you were at running HP. This tweet today “Love my alma mater, but rooting for a Hawkeyes win today. ‪#‎RoseBowl‬”

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Sometimes you post on social media and later it’s “What was I thinking?”

Not this time though, posted a message to a friend doing ESPN stats for the Rose Bowl  (note time and date) “Hope McCaffery wears you out looking for offensive records that he breaks smile emoticon
December 30, 2015 at 11:17am”

(not that I had the courage of my convictions enough actually to BET on the game, or the records 🙂

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Ohio State DE Joey Bosa, the likely 1st NFL draft pick was ejected in the 1st quarter of the Fiesta Bowl today for targeting. Well, heck, if he was going to be gone that fast, Bosa could have just done something more fun like missed curfew to party in Scottsdale.

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At least Bosa did prove he is NFL ready.

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Bill Cosby apparently sent out a tweet “Friends and fans, Thank You.” Not sure about ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬ But certainly ‪#‎cantfixtonedeaf‬.

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Happy new year

December 31, 2015

It’s now January 1.  Which means most of us only have about four more months to write 2015 on our checks.

(if I have any millennial readers no doubt you are saying “what is a check?”)

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Some ‪#‎OrangeBowl‬ worries as to what viewers would do with choice between a close game and watching the ball drop. ‪#‎problemsolved‬ ‪#‎MSUvsAla‬

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“Affluenza” teen Ethan Couch and his mom reportedly had a gun with them in Mexico (which was found by workers at the deluxe resort where they first stayed.) And a lot of Texas Republicans are thinking “See, the kid isn’t all bad.”

 

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Congrats to the University of ‪#‎Houston‬ on their upset of ‪#‎FSU‬. Does this mean the ‪#‎DallasCowboys‬ are now only the 3rd best team in Texas?

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At Clemson, they are building a $55 million complex exclusively for football players. It will have a miniature golf course, sand volleyball courts, laser tag, movie theater, bowling lanes, barber shop and more. Athletics spokesman Joe Galbraith – “It’ll be their home on campus, when they’re not in class.” And he said that last phrase with a straight face.

=

The Browns will start QB Austin Davis said Johnny Manziel won’t play Sunday “given he’s in the NFL concussion protocol.” Guess even in Cleveland they can’t say “We’ve addressed his behavior and are giving him one more chance this year” with a straight face.

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#‎Twitter‬ has hired a new V.P. of Diversity – a white man. ‪#‎Cantfixstupid‬ High Tech Division

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The TCU star quarterback who was arrested and then suspended for the Alamo Bowl apparently made it back to his room for curfew and then went back out. Sure because even had things gone well there was no chance someone might have recognized him and taken a picture for social media. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

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‪#‎BenCarson‬‘s campaign manager quit. Shocking. This means someone was stll running Carson’s campaign?

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Rough night for ‪#‎MSU‬. Football fans in Michigan normally aren’t this disappointed unless the ‪#‎Lions‬ are playing

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Who knows how ‪#‎RoseBowl‬ will turn out but it’s a lovely night in LA. Guessing now ‪#‎Iowa‬ isn’t feeling that bad about that ‪#‎MSU‬ loss.

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The Rose Bowl tomorrow between Stanford and Iowa is now alas considered second tier with the new College Football Playoff. Why, no team has even had a player get arrested.

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The Army Research Institute of Environmental Medicine has offered up to $200 for anyone willing to subsist on nothing but so-called “meals, ready-to-eat” (MREs) for 3 weeks.  The scary thing, for many Americans these days, especially fast-food fans, that’s probably a flavor upgrade.

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