Posted tagged ‘Alamo bowl jokes’

Lost?

January 3, 2016

Not saying the Hawkeyes defense really lost track of during the . But I hear they’ve put his picture on milk cartons.

 

Potential good news for Stanford fans in 2016: Since McCaffery did so well in the Rose Bowl and he’s a good looking,  likeable kid, maybe the television gods, who rule college football, may decide to put the Cardinal on TV at reasonable times in hopes of good ratings.

 

It is actually trending on social media that folks are upset because the Stanford band made fun of Iowa with a simple halftime performance featuring a farmer and a corn field and a cow, which included saying that Iowans meet on “farmersonly.com.
Uh, has anyone who is upset actually seen or heard of the Stanford band before? ‪#‎prettymildbytheirstandards‬

 

#‎TCU‬ beat ‪#‎Qregon‬ after being down 31-0 at ‪#‎AlamoBowl‬?!    Wow. Looking back Jim Bowie and Davy Crockett had better odds against the Mexican army.

This is the last time ‪#‎Oregon‬ gets to dip into the celebratory brownies at halftime.

 

So let’s see, neither Iowa nor New Hampshire nor South Carolina has ‪#‎NFL‬ team. Does ‪#‎CarlyFiorina‬ root for ‪#‎Patriots‬ or ‪#‎Panthers‬?

Californians wonder if Fiorina got the idea to root for Iowa because she has fond memories of developing the concept of Demon Sheep there?

Note to ‪#‎CarlyFiorina‬: If you are going to pander to get votes in GOP primary., pick a state whose team could actually win.

Just imagine how popular ‪#‎CarlyFiorina‬ will be at her next ‪#‎Stanford‬ reunion.

The ‪#‎TaxSlayerBowl‬? It’s enough to make you long for the innocent less commercial days of the ‪#‎PoulanWeedEaterBowl‬

So was the prize for winning the ‪#‎Motel6CactusBowl‬ not having to spend the night after the game in a ‪#‎Motel6‬?

So how long will it be until ‪#‎DonaldTrump‬ start railing against the ‪#‎StanfordBand‬?

Yahoo Sports reports that Alabama, who beat Wisconsin in their season opener at AT&T, and then MSU in the Cotton Bowl, now has more wins (2) than the Cowboys do this season (1) in Dallas’s home stadium.‪#‎Dallasreallysucks‬

Affluenza teen Ethan Couch has hired a prominent Mexican lawyer, Fernando Benitez, to fight his dispensation, and says authorities are “‘unlawfully separating him from his dog.” And even ambulance-chasing lawyers in the U.S. are thinking “Benitez, have you no shame?”

 

On Saturday a group of armed self-described millitiamen took over a federal building in Oregon wildlife refuge after an anti-government rally. So much for that “well-regulated” part.

And if you haven’t heard anything on the story on the news… well, the men are white.  And none of them are Muslim.  #justsaying

Really?

December 31, 2011

Mitt Romney compared President Obama to Marie Antoinette as a way to say the President is out of touch with everyday Americans. Really? Mitt Romney saying Obama is out of touch is like Herman Cain saying Bill Clinton is a lousy husband.

Mitt Romney’s son Matt said that his father would release his tax returns as soon as President Obama releases his birth certificate and other records. Guess the kids are as “in touch” as their dad.

Virginia Tech’s place kicker was already suspended for his part in a home invasion. Now his backup has been sent home for missing a 1:00 a.m. curfew. Who do these kids think they are? Cincinnati Bengals?

From the very funny Jim Barach: “Jon Huntsman calls Ron Paul “unelectable”. Which is like Paris Hilton saying that Kim Kardashian can’t act.”

Newt Gingrich now says he would have made it on the Virginia ballot, but “We hired somebody who turned in false signatures. We turned in 11,100 – we needed 10,000 – 1,500 of them were by one guy who frankly committed fraud.”

Okay, fair enough, but if true this is a man who wants the responsibility of hiring a whole Cabinet and White House staff?

Newt Gingrich just said in a tele-town hall that he would consider choosing Sarah Palin as his running mate. Even John McCain is saying “Uh, is this guy getting senile?”

So last night did Baylor football coach Art Briles tell his team “Well boys, if we hold them under 60 points we have a chance to win this thing?”

ESPN’s Skycam camera fell to the field during tonights’s Insight Bowl between Iowa and Oklahoma. Funny, you’d think if one of the things would have crashed it would have been from all that back and forth down the field in the Alamo Bowl.

Russell Brand and Katy Perry are divorcing, only 14 months after they married. I’ve got an idea. All those DOMA people trying to defend the institution. Maybe they should lay off the gays and try to ban celebrity marriages.

Verizon decided to charge customers 2 dollars to pay their bills on line. Even Netflix is thinking “how dumb can you be?”

This just in, Verizon has rescinded their new planned $2 fee to pay online due to “customer feedback.” And as to the executives who came up with the idea? The U.S. unemployment rate has probably increased by at least one.

Or maybe we finally found out who hired the guy whose bright idea was New Coke.

Another thought on Verizon’s little proposed $2 fee fiasco, I guess we know the answer when it was customers asking the question -“Can you hear me now?”