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It’s not easy being green in a rainbow?

August 4, 2015

Kermit the Frog has announced a decision to split with his partner Miss Piggy. Wow. This legalization of Itgay marriage is destroying relationships faster than we thought.

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Jeb Bush “”I’m not sure we need a half-billion dollars for women’s health issues.” Yeah, Jeb, you’re right. We need a lot more. ‪#‎clueless‬

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So Fox News has picked their top 10 for the first debate. And Rick Perry is the 11th man. So did those glasses not make him look smart enough?. Or did they make him look too smart for GOP primary voters?

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Joe Biden’s sister on his possible run for the Presidency in 2016. “He’ll decide when he decides.” And as anyone who’s ever heard Joe speak knows, Biden doesn’t do ANYTHING quickly.

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AT&T reporting widespread cellphone and internet outages in the Southeast Tuesday. The horror! Many teenagers and millennials were forced actually to talk to each other.

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Donald Trump now says he supports shutting down the government as a way to defund Planned Parenthood. Yeah, well he can talk, Trump already had that furry thing that lives on his head spayed.-

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Chris Christie had a New Hampshire town hall today in Manchester, choosing to locate it at Blake’s Restaurant & Creamery, a long-time local favorite featuring premium ice cream. Well, of course he did.

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Donald Trump is now insisting that not only will he build a wall at the Mexican border, he will get Mexico to pay for it. The Donald seems pretty sure he can order other countries around.  But beginning to get a sense this man has never watched C-Span.

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A 21 year old Florida man tried to rob a small church he occasionally attended with his parents during the sermon. The man pointed a BB gun at the pastor’s mother but was overpowered by fellow parishioners and arrested.

Said the Pastor – “Why did it happen? We’re targets. The whole mentality about Christianity has radically shifted.”

Or maybe because the whole mentality about mental health has shifted to “if it ain’t broke to the point of catastrophe, don’t fix it.”

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A KKK member attended a Confederate Flag rally in Georgia wearing FUBU shoes (FUBU is a company created in 1992 by four African American entrepreneurs in NY to encourage black enterprise.) Irony, another of those commie-pinko concepts.

#‎SFGiants‬ are still a long shot to repeat as World Champions, but tonight, down 3-2 after blowing a 2-1 lead in the 7th, after blowing a 6-0 lead last night, was one of those vampire games. ‪#‎refusetodie‬

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Not so hot?

August 3, 2015
A new study says coffee is good for your brain.
Then why doesn’t it tell your brain not to pay $5 for a cup of it?

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Chris Christie dismissed Donald Trump today, and added “You’re telling me it wasn’t this weird when Herman Cain was winning nationally four years ago or Michele Bachman was winning nationally? I mean, this happens.”

Not sure how many GOP voters are tuning in Thursday, but it’s beginning to look like “must-see TV’ for comedy writers and Democrats.

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Eleanor Roosevelt said “Do each day one thing that scares you.” Hmm.   Take two cats by myself to the vet for their annual check-up….  I’m good for today.

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You know, it’s just a hunch. But guessing if I don’t “sign” one of the many birthday cards being pushed by various Democratic groups online for the President, that Barack really isn’t going to miss seeing my name.

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Washington has signed Junior Gallette, released by the Saints over off-field issues and domestic violence allegation. GM Scot McCloughan “The decision was made because we really believe he’s a Redskin and that’s why I signed him.”

“Really believe he’s a Redskin?”   Yeah, that I concur with. Let this year’s circus begin.

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Four home runs for ‪#‎SFGiants‬ in first four innings. And ‪Madison Bumgarner was no doubt bouncing up & down in dugout “Can I pinch hit, can I, can I?”

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Is it just me or is Santiago Casilla starting to remind us more and more of Armando Benitez ‪#‎SFGiants‬

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Delta Airlines says they will ban Big Game trophies. So they’ll still be able to fly the Cubs.

(substitute Maple Leafs, Lions or any team of your choosing.)

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Some hunters are defending big game hunts in Africa as essential to conservation. MAYBE, though the idea that you need to shoot anything more than a picture of a big cat makes me personally ill.

But come on, folks. Hunting by luring animals out of a protected area is like taking a rifle to the zoo. And regarding “”ethical, fair-chase safaris,” uh, it’s a fair-chase only if the lion has a gun too.

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So after the controversial edited videos involving fetal tissue, the GOP tried again today to shut down Planned Parenthood, the nation’s largest provider of family planning services. And of course as part of their pro-life platform Republicans also tried to increase funding to help poor women and children…. Oh wait, never mind.

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So while we’re ranting. I think I’ve figured out the agenda for some of these GOP men. 1. Having sex is only a right if you can afford to take care of a child from an unplanned pregnancy. 2. Having a gun is a right, period.

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All downhill from here.

August 2, 2015

American Pharoah today won the $1.75 million Haskell Invitational at Monmouth Park his first race since winning the Belmont. Nice job, but what a comedown, from the Triple Crown to…. New Jersey?

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The benches cleared today in both the Blue Jays-Royals and Pirates-Reds games. Following a similar incident Friday with the Giants and Rangers. No punches thrown at any time but MLB has to be wondering, do they try to come up with penalties to eliminate future near-brawls, or encouragement of them to increase TV ratings.

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A video purported shows Cowboys’ WR Dez Bryant fighting with his teammate Tyler Patmon. Well, training camp hasn’t even finished yet and the Dallas circus appears to be in mid-season form.

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Christopher Green has the best line on the concept of hunting being a sport: “It’s only a sport if there’s a chance you can lose.”

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So when the ‪#‎Angels‬ play the ‪#‎Dodgers‬ do both sides scream ‪#‎BeatLA‬“?

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NY Times is reporting that for the 2016 Presidential race “just 130 or so families and their businesses provided more than half the money raised through June by Republican candidates and their super PACs.” Over $300 million so far. Wonder how many of those millions are being spent to convince voters that those candidates are focused on average Americans.

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So the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ win 9-7 in a game started by Cole Hamels? And then have 8 1/3 scoreless two-hit innings thrown against them by Martin Perez, who came in with a 10.50 ERA and just gave up 9 runs in an INNING to the Yankees. ‪#‎thatsbaseball‬

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Jessica Alba’s “The Honest Company” is now facing criticism over their “Honest 30 SPF Sunscreen,” as consumers are saying it doesn’t work. So along with all the nasty chemicals the company left out of their product, did they also leave out those that actually screen the sun?

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Donald Trump says he wants to be himself during Thursday’s first nationally televised debate. “Oh please oh please,” responded both the Democratic party and advertisers who have bought commercials for the debate. ‪#‎ratings‬

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The Buffalo Bills have suspended offensive line coach Aaron Kromer for six games without pay after Kromer and his son were accused of battery in a July incident over beach chairs. The coach allegedly punched a boy in the face and threatened to kill his family, although charges were dropped this week.
The NFL message is clear, if you commit violence. you’d better be a damn good player to get a reduced suspension or a second chance.

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The makers of Kraft Cheese have recalled 36,000 cases of Kraft Singles over a potential choking hazard with a “thin strip of the individual packaging film (that) may remain adhered to the slice after the wrapper has been removed.” As opposed to the plastic slices themselves?

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TC, on  Red Sox third baseman Pablo Sandoval: “If Panda gets any bigger, Greenpeace will be trying to save him.”

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Bounce back.

August 2, 2015
San Francisco has put a substance on some walls that not only is urine-resistant, it shoots the liquid right back where it came from. Shame there isn’t some equivalent substance that would work on arrows with lions.
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Mixed stories today, though possible good news in the end? Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead. But Jericho the lion may still be alive.
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Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton has been indicted on multiple felony charges, following upon Gov. Rick Perry’s own indictment in 2014. If this keeps up, Illinois and Louisiana are going to be jealous.
Do I get points for gender equality if I am equally indifferent to MMA even if a woman like Ronda Rousey is involved?
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Boston Red Sox president and Larry Lucchino, whose contract was going to expire at the end of the year, is leaving the team. And season ticket holders are thinking “no fair, how come he gets to leave and we don’t?”
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Great that the Royals and Astros have been playing well enough to be buyers at the trade deadline. And not like most Americans knew any names on the teams anyway.
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Business Insider is reporting that Donald Trump has fired a senior adviser who published “many racist and otherwise offensive Facebook posts”  So did the Donald fire the guy because he thought the posts were wrong, or because Trump didn’t like the competition.
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SF Giants manager Bruce Bochy used Angel Pagan as the DH and wouldn’t let Madison Bumgarner hit Friday night in Texas. Maybe that’s why Madbum had an off-night?
Meanwhile, on Saturday night, Giants pulled out a 9-7 win and made perhaps a few teams happy they didn’t give away the store to trade for Cole Hamels.
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In Ontario, Canada Saturday there was a “Bare With Us” rally about women’s right to go topless. And in the U.S. millions of men who might not be in favor of universal healthcare or gun control are thinking, maybe those Canadians are onto something.

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So, okay, I get the need for some hunting to “cull the herds” and I get eating what you kill, even I want no part of it personally.

But when these folks brag about their great kills – uh, let’s see, you have a gun, the animals have nothing. Not exactly a fair fight. ‪#‎compensation‬?

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From Marc Ragovin “I beg your pardon. Did you just say Lynn Anderson died? (just another reason why I am going straight to hell)”

Well, you got to figure her funeral will be enough roses for a serious garden.

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No cash and carry

July 31, 2015

Rumors were flying that the SD Padres were negotiating with the Boston Red Sox over Pablo Sandoval. Guess that deal collapsed of its own weight?

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The Indians have traded relief pitcher Marc Rzepczynski to the Padres. Not sure how Cleveland fans feel about losing Rzepczynski, but Cleveland copy editors are ecstatic.

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Hottest accessory in MLB clubhouses tomorrow – badges saying “Hi, my name is….” ‪#‎tradedeadline‬

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How rich are the Dodgers? They took on $42 million in payroll at the trade deadline for players they won’t even play, to get the players they do want. Who spends that kind of money to buy people you don’t even need. Outside of politics, that is.

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-Looks like ‪#‎San DiegoPadres‬ managed the trade deadline about as well as they’ve managed everything else this season.

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California, the birthplace of invention. The Palo Alto Daily Post reports a Redwood City, CA, man is suspected of shoplifting after he came out of a store restroom looking intoxicated, and an empty six pack was found inside.

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Fox has cancelled Ryan Seacrest’s new reality TV series “Knock Knock Live” Shocking. Ryan Secrest had a series named “Knock Knock Live.”

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Well this is going to be interesting. Ray Tensing, the University of Cincinnati cop who shot Samuel Dubose, has had his union file a grievance to get his job back, claiming he was unjustly fired. What’s going to be weirder, watching some conservatives support the union, or some liberals fight against them?

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Jim Harbaugh said in a press conference he’s just striving to coach the football team., and doesn’t want to be popular. Well, as Stanford and the 49ers can attest, Harbaugh should soon do a good job with both objectives

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WWE star pro wrestler Rowdy Roddy Piper, has died at the age of 61. Now, wrestling is NOT my thing. But, seriously, doing the math, this sport is worse for longevity than pro football. Time to look at what is causing it?

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As the calls go for Walter Palmer to be extradited to Zimbabwe over poaching charges,  nice to know there are some U.S. lawyers who won’t touch this case. #bettertokillyyourgirlfriendthanalion

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So all these stores about Minnesota dentist Walter Palmer and Cecil the Lion keep on getting worse. Seriously, if you are some rich guy who just wants to prove how close you can get to a majestic beast, why not just buy an expensive camera?

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Palmer is so unpopular Donald Trump is looking at the dentist both as a possible running mate and assassination insurance.

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Headline competition

July 29, 2015

A scumbag hunter illegally kills a beloved lion, the NFL upholds golden boy Tom Brady’s suspension after the QB destroys his cellphone, and now wreckage has been found from a plane that might be MH370.

Donald Trump’s going to have to outdo himself to make headlines today.

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No one is saying that deflating a football is like hitting a woman. Even when it’s done by an organization with a history of bending the rules. And the Colts were going to lose if Brady threw actual bricks. But McGovern was going to lose in 1972 too. The cover up is ALWAYS worse than the crime. ‪#‎whenwilltheyeverlearn‬?

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Patriots owner, Robert Kraft, complaining that he was “wrong to put his faith in the league.” “I was willing to accept the harshest penalty in the history of the NFL for an alleged ball violation, because I believed it would help exonerate Tom.”

Uh, sir, it is the ONLY penalty in the history of the NFL for an alleged ball violation. ‪#‎whenyoureinaholestopdigging‬

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Jerry Jones says that NFL commissioner Roger Goodell is doing “an outstanding job.” I’m sure it’s just coincidence that the 4th and last game of Brady’s suspension is scheduled to be against the Dallas Cowboys.

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Conventional wisdom aside, the ‪#‎MLBTradeDeadline‬ is much more fun than the ‪#‎NFLDraft‬.

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So now that he’s with Toronto ‪#‎BlueJays‬, will the star shortstop be known as Troy Tulowitzk-eh? ‪#‎TuloTrade‬

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SF Giants having an online sale which includes a lot of Sandoval World Series 2014 merchandise. Prices on gear might be the only thing connected with the Panda that are shrinking this year. Okay, besides his offensive numbers….

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There are now reports that United Airlines was hacked around the same time as Anthem and the U.S. Office of Personnel Management. A United spokesman said that it was ‘pure speculation,” and “we can assure our customers that their personal information is secure. We remain vigilant in protecting against unauthorized access and use top advisors and best practices on cyber-security to maintain our effectiveness.”

The same “best practices” they use for their reservations system? ‪#‎andhesaiditwithastraightface‬

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Linda Tripp (google her, youngsters), says she is risking her wonderful family life now to speak out against Hillary Clinton, an ambitious liar who “will stop at nothing to achieve her end.” Tripp said: ‘I regret what I put my children through. I regret very much that they had to endure that level of vitriol but would I do it again? Yes….My civil service career, well over 20 years at that time, meant a sense of loyalty, patriotic duty and honor. I sincerely cared about the integrity of the country’s leadership.’
If anyone in the world could make Hillary Clinton come off as sympathetic, it’s Linda Tripp.

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Well, that didn’t take long.. Marco Rubio tweeting today “look at all this outrage over a dead lion, but where is all the outrage over the planned parenthood dead babies.”

Well, while we’re at it where’s Rubio’s outrage over…mass shooting victims, soldiers killed in unnecessary wars, people who die without healthcare…. For starters.

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From Marc Ragovin “The Yankees beat the Rangers 21-5 the other day, making it the first time in MLB history that the ump asked a manager whether he wanted to hit or stick. “.

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On  a serious note, thinking all citizens and most police officers should be very grateful to whoever first came up with the idea of police video body cams.

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Tommy don’t lose that number?

July 28, 2015

So why would an intelligent man destroy a cell phone when it absolutely would make him look guilty? If the messages destroyed would make him look worse. ‪#‎TomBrady‬

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But really, don’t we all want to destroy our phones when we get a new one?  Because it’s so much fun re entering all those apps, contact information, bookmarks…

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The “Bachelorette” is finally over. But after weeks of guilty fun watching a couple dozen crazy contestants whittled down to a winner, for a relationship not even based in reality, well, Americans still have the GOP primary.

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Donald Trump is now saying he’d “love” to have Sarah Palin have some sort of position in his administration. That’s bold. Trump isn’t afraid Palin would take a shot at that furry thing that lives on his head?”

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LaTroy Hawkins, 42, has been sent to Toronto along with Troy Tulowitzki. Bit of a waste. Hawkins gets to Canada and universal healthcare just before he becomes eligible for Medicare.

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So Drew Storen has a 1.73 ERA and 29 saves out of 31 chances. And the Washington Nationals decide to bolster their playoff chances by adding… a temperamental closer (Papelbon). Same brilliant logic that had the team shut down Strasburg a few years back.

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The Mets’ Jenrry Mejia, is now suspended 162 games for his 2nd failed PED test. Once you might think you’re invulnerable. The second time? Proves again that MLB drug testing is also an IQ test. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

Boston claimed Jean Machi off waivers Tuesday. Are the Red Sox trying to bolster their struggling bullpen? Or just to pick up a former Giant with experience reducing the amount of food available to Pablo Sandoval at the training table?

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So the hunter who illegally shot Cecil, Zimbabwe’s most famous, and protected. lion, is an American dentist who was put on probation in 2008 for lying about the location where he shot and killed a bear, and who regularly travels the world to shoot big cats, elk, bears, rhinos etc, with a bow and arrow instead of a gun. Why stop there? A real man would face one of these animals with no weapons at all.

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Good. The AP reports “According to Zimbabwe police spokeswoman Charity Charamba, (Minnesota dentist) Walter Palmer will face charges of poaching. It is alleged that Palmer worked with the guides to lure Cecil from the national park to an unprotected area by strapping a “dead animal to their vehicle.” ‪#‎justiceforCecil‬

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Pahk the bid?

July 27, 2015

As the USOC deals with the fallout from losing Boston as the U.S. hope to host the 2024 games, have to ask – “who the heck thought it was a good idea to award the bid to a city with LESS public support and more organized opposition than San Francisco?” ‪#‎nottomentionthatwonderfulBostonsummerweather‬

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The Houston Astros have made Taylor Swift’s move her tour date at Minute Maid Park from Oct. 13 to Sept. 9 because the team may be headed to the playoffs. Wonder how long it will take for Swift to write a bitter song about the brush-off.

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Got to wonder based on preseason polls whether ballparks in Boston and San Diego are now wishing they HAD scheduled Taylor Swift concerts in October.

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Last year Joe Biden compared New York’s  La Guardia Airport to a “Third World Country.”   Monday the VP just unveiled a plan to rebuild La Guardia into a “modern, unifed hub.”  Frequent travelers are wondering… is dynamite involved?

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Scientists are predicting a serious El Nino year in California, with potential flooding but still not an end to the drought. So you still can’t probably take a long shower, but you might be able to take a mud bath in your backyard.

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Cleveland Browns coach Mike Pettine says that Johnny Manziel will start training camp as the team’s backup QB but he could still win the starting job. Let’s hope Manziel doesn’t hear that and take off to a bar to celebrate.

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SF Chronicle has a story headlined “Marissa Mayer’s radical options to save Yahoo.” Here’s a simple radical one: Fix the damn email.

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Okay, I understand that Ray Rice did a very bad thing, on video. But Greg Hardy is playing, Adrian Peterson will be playing. Rice at least appears to be contrite and is doing good anti-violence work with his wife. Is the reason Rice isn’t being signed less his bad behavior than the former Ravens’ RB having lost a step or two?

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Gone guy?

July 26, 2015

Donald Trump says his immigration strategy will be to deport “the bad dudes.” So does the Donald have his own bags packed yet?

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President Obama at a dinner in Kenya “II suspect that some of my critics back home are suspecting that I’m back here to look for my birth certificate.”

Of course not. they think Barack had the birth certificate burned a long time ago.

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Zack Greinke’s scoreless streak is over at 45 2/3 innings. Jacob deGrom got the RBI on a fielder’s choice. Of course, it had to be a pitcher. And Madison Bumgarner is thinking “I would have taken Greinke deep.”

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A woman who won a $188 million lottery jackpot this year in North Carolina was busted this week for marijuana. You’d think with that much money she could afford to move to Colorado.

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Rick Perry thinks “appropriately trained” Americans should be able to bring guns inside movie theaters and churches to defend themselves. I’m sure that’s comforting to the family of the man who was killed last year in a Florida theater by the retired policeman who was upset by his texting.

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The NFL is going to start more serious oversight of football inflation this year, with random halftime and postgame rechecks. Really? They think after actually being caught cheating that the Patriots would ever dare skirt the rules again… Oops, never mind.

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How quickly things change. Was it only a couple months ago that Ted Cruz was the craziest GOP candidate for President?

Sad end to the Bobbi Kristina story today. Although the more you hear about her short life the harder it is to imagine the story ever having a happy ending.

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How quickly things change. Was it only a couple months ago that Ted Cruz was the craziest GOP candidate for President?

Mike Huckabee, criticizing Obama’s foreign policy “It is so naive that he would trust the Iranians. By doing so, he will take the Israelis and march them to the door of the oven.” So clearly the race is on to out-Trump Trump.

From BIll Littlejohn,  “The Dodgers’; starting pitching beyond Kershaw and Greinke is very suspect. So it’s not ‘Spahn and Sain and pray for rain,’ it’s ‘Clay and Zack, then have a heart attack.

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Old and new school?

July 25, 2015

We can’t agree about much in this country. But after Saturday’s 2-1 SF Giants win where Madison Bumgarner hit a home run…. maybe we can at least talk about the DH?-

Eli Manning has now replaced Rob Lowe in the DirecTV ad campaign. And NY Giants fans are thinking “Wait a minute, haven’t we already seen more than we wanted of “Good  Eli Manning/Bad Eli Manning?”

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The LA Dodgers have apparently told Yasiel Puig that he will not be traded. Maybe because at this point no other team wants the headaches?

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No serious injuries fortunately at a major pool bar fire Saturday night in Las Vegas at the Cosmopolitan Hotel.  Stand by for ads touting “the hottest bar on the strip..”

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Airline math is a strange thing. Qantas is advertising a big Business Class sale for travel to Australia that goes only until July 28, 2015, for travel Nov 1, 2015 to Jan 7, 2016. In the fine print – “14-advance purchase required.” Ya think?

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Front page of NY Times has a story about Hillary Clinton having some classified data on her personal email server, and how they should “never been stored outside of secure government computer systems.” And in the next column a story about serious fears from the data hacked in the major breach at the government Office of Personnel Management.

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And we don’t think professional athletes have problems. Josh Smith, who just signed with the Clippers for the veterans’ minimum, talking about his finances: “At the end of the day, you know, I do have a family. So it is going to be a little harder on me this year. But I’m going to push through it, you know.”
Smith will make $6.9 million this year. ‪#‎myheartbleeds‬

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Just thinking, if the Lafayette killer had tried to go to the Humane Society to adopt a kitten he probably would have been turned down for being too unstable. But he had no problem buying a gun.

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Deep doo doo?

July 24, 2015

In Idaho, a cyclist stopped to defecate in a ravine and decided it would be a good idea to light his toilet paper on fire afterwards rather than littering with it. And he accidentally started a 73 acre wildfire. Talk about a dumb shit.

SF Giants have had a good week. As long time fans are thinking – hey, if the pitching can just show up and be mediocre the hitters will carry them into the post season….. WTF? Who is this team?

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Mets pitcher Jonathon Niese pitched 3 innings tonight against the Dodgers, gave up six runs, then watched his son born on  Face Time before flying home to Ohio.  NY lost 7-2.  Nice effort, but the way the Mets are hitting, Niese would have had to pitch a shutout just to get them into extra innings.

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The Obama Administration has apparently opened an investigation into whether American, JetBlue, Delta and Southwest engaged in price-gouging on flights in the Northeast after the major Amtrak crash this spring in Philadelphia.

“I can’t believe airlines would do anything that nasty” said nobody who’s flown in the last decade.

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At this point beginning to feel like Trump is competing less with other Presidential candidates than he is competing with the Kardashians.

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Dennis Rodman just endorsed Donald Trump for President. No joke. Hmm… Maybe Rodman is from the same planet as that furry thing that lives on Trump’s head?

Tampa Bay CB C.J. Wilson, who lost two fingers in a July 4th fireworks accident, is temporarily at least retiring, and said through an agent that even though C.J.s’ “career has been put in jeopardy as a result of the accident, he’s taking steps to ensure his long-term health is a priority.” Uh, starting with not playing with fireworks?

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The New Orleans Saints are releasing LB Junior Galette, 27, the team’s top pass rusher, over character issues including two possible domestic violence incidents.  Over-under on how long before some team decides that the “young man deserves a second chance.”i

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WWE has cut ties with Hulk Hogan. Ostensibly over his being a racist, but probably as much for being stupid enough to make those comments on tape.

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Could be worse?

July 23, 2015

Ohio Governor John Kasich (who?) has joined the 2016 Presidential race. No word yet on his slogan.  Maybe
You don’t know me but I’m not bat shit crazy.”

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Former Texas Gov. Rick Perry says he’s glad Trump is “finally” traveling to the U.S. Mexico border and “I hope he will explain to the Hispanic Americans he meets why he thinks they are rapists and murderers.”
Gawd, just how out there do you have to be to make Rick Perry sound reasonable?

Donald Trump today visited the U.S. Mexico border in Laredo, Texas “despite the great danger.” Five words: God I miss Molly Ivins.

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At Yellowstone National Park, a woman escaped with minor injuries when she turned her back to a bison to take a picture, and the animal flipped her into the air. Another Darwin “missed it by THAT much.” ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

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Donald Trump is indicating now that he might launch a third-party White House run if the RNC doesn’t treat him well. If true this would prove one of two things: 1. Trump’s ego REALLY knows no bounds. 2. Trump is a closet Democrat.

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Anthony Weiner has a new job with a PR firm which specializes in “crisis management.” Well, if anyone has experience in crisis management….

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Navy and Notre Dame have announced they will play a college football game at San Diego’s Qualcomm stadium. Stand by for Fighting Irish alums to declare it the biggest game ever played in San Diego.

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The US was “shocked” by Jamaica in the Gold Cup. Response from most Americans “What’s the Gold Cup?”

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Tom Brady’s merchandise sales are apparently the highest in the NFL. Meaning that prices for such gear will be one thing about the New England QB that surely will be well-inflated.

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The Oakland Athletics have started their trades earlier this year, sending pitcher Scott Kazmir to the Houston Astros. Thinking the A’s really need to come up with a bobblehead with an erasable face.

As an old Michigan fan it pains me to say anything nice about an Ohio State player. But QB Cardale Jones apparently was tweeting recently on social issues. And was called out on it for not focusing on football

So he tweeted “Sorry Mr master, I aints allow to tweet nothing but foolsball stuff I donts want you think I more than a foots ball playa sir”  Well played, Mr. Jones,  well played.

And in the closing rant.  So tonight it’s Lafayette. I’m sorry, doesn’t matter what your race, religion or ethnicity is, if you decide to shoot and kill multiple people for no real reason you are a terrorist. And maybe gun worship should be blamed as much as any religion.

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Cross at the border?

July 22, 2015

Donald Trump is visiting Laredo to tour the Texas-Mexico border. Though no doubt he won’t cross it. – because it would be embarrassing if the Mexican government deported him as being undesirable.

 

A Boston writer today wrote that the Red Sox needed to “cleanse themselves” of Sandoval and Ramirez.  Am sure SF Giants fans really feel sorry for Boston. Like you feel sorry when the ex who left you for someone else and slams you on the way has their next relationship fall apart….

 

NBA commissioner Adam Silver says “No doubt” that some day he can see a woman as NBA head coach. Although have to wonder, would a woman be dumb enough to take on say, the Knicks?

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Silver also says that the league may change rules to allow only the top 8 teams in each conference to make the playoffs. In other words, postseason teams in the East can still suck.

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Detroit manager Brad Ausmus says he is not giving up on the season as the Tigers are only 4 games out of the Wild Card. With a 46-47 record. Hmm, where does he think he is, the NBA?

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Shaquille O’Neal said the all-time Lakers team would beat the all-time Bulls team by 50. And the all-time Spurs team would probably jell togther better and kick both teams’ butts.

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So some rumors about Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert’s divorce say he cheated, some say she cheated. We can settle this real quickly if one of them turns out to have an Ashley Madison account.

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A source told People Magazine that the Duggars are “heartbroken” over the cancellation of their TLC Show, and that they want to return to TV. Alas, it’s been several years since they cancelled ‘To Catch a Predator.”
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President Obama Tuesday night on the Daily Show said he was issuing an executive order saying that Jon Stewart cannot leave the show. Guess Obama thinks he hasn’t done enough to infuriate the 2016 GOP presidential candidates?
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So Obama waited until Tuesday to lower flags to half staff for the Marines shot and killed in Tennessee. I would feel a lot less cynical about those criticizing the President if they weren’t also mostly the same people who want to send MANY more young men and women overseas to risk being shot and killed in foreign wars..
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Ted Cruz just convened a Senate hearing to investigate “abuses” by the Supreme court.. Saying recent decisions including on same-sex marriage are the “very definition of tyranny.”

The dictionary definition of “tyranny” includes words like unjust, oppressive and especially “cruel.” So who exactly suffers personally when gays get marriage?

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DeAndre Jordan, on his convoluted return to the Clippers – “When free agency started, this whole fiasco was not my intent.” Sounds like DeAndre’s intentions were as on target as his free throw shooting.
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Apparently a fire broke out today on the 4,000 passenger Freedom of the Seas cruise ship in Jamaica today, but it was quickly put out by the ship’s fire suppression system. Royal Caribbean says no passengers were injured, but one crew member suffered a first degree burn. Stand by for around the clock updates from CNN.

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Tax dollars at work.

July 22, 2015

In April, a federal appeals court overturned Barry Bonds’ obstruction of justice conviction. Today, ending an almost 10 year battle, the U.S. Department of Justice announced they will not ask for a review with the U.S. Supreme Court and are ending the case.

What? Reluctance to spend more taxpayer dollars on this vital issue? ‪#‎IblameObama‬

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As we await the potential release of client names from Ashley Madison is it wrong to wonder how many of these spouses met on Christianmingle.com?

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Mississippi State suspended CB Justin Cox for the last three games in 2014 after he was arrested for alleged aggravated domestic violence and burglary. The charges were dropped, and Cox signed with the KC Chiefs.

Yesterday he was arrested again on charges of burglary of a residence, aggravated domestic assault and trespassing. ‪#‎Cantfixstupid‬

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Now that Becky Hammon has coached the Spurs to an Summer League Championship, wonder if some NBA team might make an offer to a proven winner like Tara Vanderveer. ‪#‎GoStanford‬

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But hey, it was summer league…. what does that show?   Well, in 2013 Jason Kidd had his first head coaching gig in Las Vegas and his Nets made the playoffs.  Then last year another guy made his coaching debut … name of Steve Kerr.   Turned out to be ok.

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Today at a campaign event Donald Trump attacked Lindsey Graham and then gave out the Graham’s personal cell phone number. Not sure if Trump really wants to be President, but he’s doing well in his question to become the Republican party’s most hated person not named Clinton.

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Roger Goodell says there is no timeline on Tom Brady’s suspension appeal, and that they are “being very thorough.” Does the NFL commission have one of Bud Selig’s “Blue Ribbon” committees working on it?

 

The SF Giants’ Tim Lincecum has been diagnosed with a degenerative hip condition. No doubt after he got the diagnosis Timmy had one question – “Medical marijuana?”

 

For anyone watching the SF Giants game,  Padres pitcher Dale Thayer threw that gum better than he threw that bases-loaded pitch to Hector Sanchez.

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Giants catcher Hector Sanchez, just recalled from AAA, hit a grand slam for the SFGiants.  Just guessing  that that he was really really tired of playing in Sacramento. ‪#‎SFGiants‬ ‪

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A Florida gun shop owner has declared his store a “Muslim-free zone” after the latest mass murders in Tennessee, to ensure “the safety of his fellow patriots” And he announced the decision in front of a Confederate flag. So I guess he would have had no problem selling a gun to the Charleston killer?

Would love to see what would happen if a very large African American man with a lot of tattoos walked into his store looking to buy guns. Especially if one of those tattoos was of a bible verse.

 

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Girls, girls, girls…..

July 21, 2015

The San Antonio Spurs, coached by Becky Hammon, just won the NBA Summer League. So, apparently real men don’t have a problem with sexual orientation in the locker room. ‪#‎yougogirl‬

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Ashley Madison, the “dating” site for married people, has apparently been hacked and the hackers are threatening to post information on millions of users on line. Who knows, the U.S. political scene could be about to get a lot crazier.

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With the Ashley Madison hacking story making headlines, I see a new business model for some enterprising person – A company that will create a credible online to make it seem as if your identity was stolen. “Honest, honey, I have no idea how they got my name and credit card, clearly our personal information has been compromised.”

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Anyone who misses watching baseball games at Candlestick Park must have loved watching the final round of the ‪#‎BritishOpen‬.

 

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Curt Schilling tweeted outrage that President Barack Obama failed to issue a proclamation to lower flags around government buildings to half-staff for the Chattanooga victims despite doing so for pop singer Whitney Houston.

Except that Obama didn’t do that. The only government official who ordered flags lowered for the pop star was NJ Gov. Chris Christie.

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A gay British man who voluntarily donates sperm says he has fathered 10 children with nine different women in just the last year. So the guy is either really altruistic, or he has delusions of being an NBA player.

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The Denver Nuggets have traded Ty Lawson to the Houston Rockets. Hoping it works out, but is it really a great idea to send a guy with 2 DUI’s in a year to a place with Texas’s very relaxed gun laws?

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A profile of Karen Hinton, who is New York Mayor DeBlasio’s press secretary, brings up a story from a 1999 book of how in 1984, when she was 24, then Arkansas governor Bill Clinton gave her a napkin with his room number on it. Shocking. Wouldn’t it be more of a story if Clinton in those days was talking to a pretty young blond woman and didn’t give her his room number?

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ACC commissioner John Swofford says the conference is “not trying to be Big Brother” in dealing with off-field issues like those at Florida State.

“Our approach $o far, and I don’t really $ee this changing, is that we have a lot of confidence in our in$titution$ to handle those $ituation$ when they occur.”

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In Iowa, a former lottery security official was found guilty  of rigging a game so he could win a $14 million jackpot, and then trying to get someone to cash the prize for him. Hmm, anyone but me worried less about him than about the ones who aren’t stupid enough to get caught?

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Palo Alto, California, has been sweltering with temperatures in the mid 80s and 61% humidity. Thereby bringing ZERO sympathy from anyone in the Midwest, South and East.

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Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert, probably THE reigning royal couple of country music, are getting divorced. No word who gets custody of the material for song lyrics.

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Between Blake and Miranda though, Taylor Swift might have some competition for “Best breakup song of the year.”

 

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Just in 2014, the NFL gave each teams each $226.4 million as part of national revenue sharing. But all the the league could afford was a $765 million settlement over concussion-related brain injuries for all its 18,000 retired players. I wish this were a joke.

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Just say anything?

July 20, 2015

Bill Cosby, in a deposition claimed he was good at reading nonverbal clues. “I think I’m a pretty decent reader of people and their emotions in these romantic sexual things…”

Although beginning to seem like a nonverbal clue to Cosby was “Hello.”

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The NY Mets managed to win Sunday 3-1 in 18 innings after going 1-26 with runners in scoring position and leaving 25 runners on base. And Phillies fans are thinking “You can GET 25 runners on base?”

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What ever happened to that “It never rains in California” stuff. Two rainouts on Sunday, for Padres AND Angels. And Dodgers happy they were in a place with great summer weather like Washington, D.C.

 

Rainout in ‪#‎SanDiego‬? It may not be freezing over, but Hell has to be pretty soggy.

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Sunday was “National Ice Cream Day.” Making tomorrow “National ‘Who shrunk my pants?’ Day.

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Three-time surfing world champion Mick Fanning was unharmed after being attacked by a shark during a competition in South Africa. Glad he’s okay. But have to wonder if any surfing officials are thinking “Hmm, a couple more near misses with sharks and our ratings will skyrocket.”

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A “Deflategate” ball used in the AFC championship sold at auction for $44,000. And somewhere Brady may be thinking “For that much money I’ll let the air out of several more and sign them.”

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Online headline at USAToday.com “Amateur and Spieth Chasing History at British Open.” And a lot of fans who have mostly only paid attention to Tiger Woods are going “I think I’ve heard of Jordan Spieth but what’s Amateur’s first name?”

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Anyone but me REALLY want to see Donald Trump head down to San Antonio and tell Texans that the men at the Alamo weren’t heroes?

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Many in the GOP field are defending John McCain against Donald Trump’s attacks. Wonder where they were during the “Swiftboating” of John Kerry.

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Many San Francisco Bay Area women were happy to see Sunday night’s news report on the record breaking weather. Not that we liked the very warm humid temperatures, but it was a relief to know the day wasn’t one big long hot flash.

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Scott Walker Sunday on if being gay is a choice. “I mean, to me, that’s, I don’t know. I don’t know the answer to that question.” This is also the man who said he was going to “punt’ on the question of evolution and that he didn’t know if Obama was a Christian.

But the Wisconsin Governor wants to be President because he says Americans need “fresh, new LEADERSHIP.”

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Curses, Trumped again.

July 19, 2015

Donald Trump  said John McCain “is a war hero because he was captured. I like people who weren’t captured.” At this point calling Trump a douchebag is an insult to a perfectly good female hygiene product.

 

 

Now Rick Perry is calling for Trump to be disqualified from running for president. “His attack on veterans make him unfit to be Commander-in-Chief.” Well, that and there are only ten chairs at the first GOP debate, so any way that Perry can cull the herd….

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Give ‪#‎DonaldTrump‬ credit. It takes a lot of work to give ‪#‎RickPerry‬ the moral high road. ‪#‎McCain‬ ‪#‎ProofHellHasFrozenOver‬

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And Donald Trump  also is now saying “I think we should boycott Mexico, frankly.” So okay, at least Taco Bell is safe, as there’s nothing actually Mexican about it.

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Saturday at the British Open.  So the wind is strong enough to blow balls all over greens, &  players look about to fall over, but seagulls stand calmly.  Evolution in action?

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But yeah, golf is not exactly a sport for the masses. British Open commentator, talking about how difficult it is for players because “the ball is oscillating on the green.”

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Brett Favre today at his Green Bay HOF ceremony “When you look back and talk about my career, it will be from a Packers standpoint. You almost forget that I played for other teams.” And some Jets fans are thinking “Would that that were true.”

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The Packets tweeted out on Saturday.  “Brett Favre’s No. 4 is officially retired.”  So Sunday will they tweet out “Just kidding”?

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LAX is now going to allow Uber and Lyft pickup. Because clearly the airport didn’t have enough traffic?

 

A Texas man accidentally fatally shot himself at his 21st  birthday party, authorities said. He’d apparently been shooting the gun into the air during the celebration.  Police said “Alcohol was a factor in the shootings.”    Ya think?

Wonder if a Darwin award was on his birthday list?

 

Six runs on 16 hits Friday night, now eight runs on 14 hits Saturday night.  Maybe what ‪#‎SFGiants‬ needed after the All Star Break was 12 innings of batting practice against live pitching?

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Grounded?

July 16, 2015

President Obama will be in New York City Friday night, and the FAA has issued a no fly zone over Manhattan. Which won’t affect commercial flights, but will force wealthy folks heading to the Hamptons to take ground transportation instead of private helicopters. “I feel so sorry for them,” said no one in 99.9% of the population.

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Interesting, all the talk about Caitlyn Jenner. But if we’re talking LGBT acceptance, the U.S. women’s soccer team has both gay and straight players, and it doesn’t seem to affect their chemistry OR performance.

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Apparently this season has seen a big increase in the number of NL managers who are batting their pitcher 8th in the lineup. The SF Giants’ Madison Bumgarner is not pleased with this trend. He thinks he should bat at least 6th.

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Here’s a serious idea for a change. Let’s change the MLB trade deadline to during the All-Star break. Would make it easier for players to get to their new teams. And would give sports fans something more interesting to follow during the break than NBA summer league scores.

 

Mark Cuban is now proposing that the NBA playoffs be expanded to 10 teams per conference. Right, so teams like the Indiana Pacers would be spared the heartache of just missing the playoffs with a 38-44 record.

 

Josh Smith has left the Rockets for the Clippers, signing for $1.5 million, the veteran minimum, and reportedly told a source he chose “winning over money?” So Smith is bad at history, statistics AND math?

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The Tennessee Highway Safety Office is pulling the “100 Days of Summer Heat Booze It and Lose It Campaign” which was intended to keep young men from drinking too much, with had posters and coasters with messages like this
“After a few drinks the girls look hotter and the music sounds better. Just remember: If your judgment is impaired, so is your driving.”
“Buy a drink for a marginally good looking girl only to find out she’s chatty, clingy and your boss’s daughter. If this sounds like something you would do, your judgment is impaired and so is your driving.”
The only question. Who thought this was a good idea in the first place?

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New Jersey is considering a lottery, open only to state college students and alumni, where the winner would get all their student loan debt paid off. Great, so if they don’t know enough already, students can go further into debt buying lottery tickets.

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As we approach the 2nd half of the MLB season, Vegas has updated their odds for this years World Series winner- with the favorites being the Royals, Cardinals, Nationals and Dodgers. The Phillies are last 5000-1.

Note to anything thinking of betting on the Phillies. try something with better odds. Like buying a Powerball lottery ticket.

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But really, a 5,000 to 1 bet on the Phillies now to win the World Series?   Or for that matter 250 to 1 on the Brewers,  or even 50-1 on the Red Sox?    In all of these and more case, when they’re saying “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas,” clearly they’re talking about your money.

 

Apparently Vegas sports books are quite worried about the Royals and Astros, as they stand to pay out big bucks if either team, lightly regarded in the preseason, wins the World Series. But on the other hand, MGM properties report 4,000 bets placed on the Cubs, more than double that on any other team. ‪#‎youlosesomeyouwinsome‬

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TLC has officially cancelled “19 kids and counting.” Anybody here actually watch the show in the first place?

 

 

From T.C.  Russell Wilson’s new sweetie, Ciara, sang the anthem at All Star game. It was suggested that he could hand off the microphone to her.

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Not ready for Prime-time?

July 15, 2015

Alabama coach Nick Saban, whose Crimson Tide lost to OSU in the college football playoffs, says his “team chemistry from the SEC Championship Game to the playoff was affected by something.” And Saban thinks it was the approaching deadline to declare for the NFL draft. Well, it sure wasn’t their studies.

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The reviews are in, and apparently Amazon’s ‪#‎PrimeDay‬ is a ‪#‎Subprimeday‬.

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This trend is not in keeping with the God-like nature and dignity of cats. But, okay, it’s funny. #trumpyourcat
trumpyourcat
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Donald Trump was bragging today that he is worth $10 billion. That must give such a warm fuzzy feeling to creditors of his four companies that have declared bankruptcy.

 

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A Republican congressman from Florida is positing Trump’s candidacy is really a Democratic plot.  Not likely. As if anyone thinks the Democratic party is that organized.
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The IRS reported the hold time for customers trying to reach customer service reps between Jan 1-April 18, 2015 was 23 minutes, and that only 37% of taxpayers who called actually got through. Wow Are they trying to run a government agency or an airline?

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Florida sure seems determined to win the internet this week. From my funny friend Alex Kaseberg: “A Florida man was arrested for having sex with bound and gagged alligator. He’s writing a book about it called: “50 Shades of Everglades.”

 

 

Dr. Steven Hotze, president of Conservative Republicans of Texas says that gay marriage is to “celebrate those that participate in anal sex.” And they will teach it to kids in schools. Kids will be encouraged to practice sodomy in kindergarten.”

So Hotze thinks that previously kids have been encouraged to practice vaginal sex in kindergarten?

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Nothing against Caitlyn Jenner.  Absolutely respect her decision, and she made a very good speech.  But the Arthur Ashe award on the ESPYs should have gone to Lauren Hill. Period.

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Not that anyone saves a prime space in their trophy room for an ESPY. But okay, Madison Bumgarner loses “Best Championship Performance” not to American Pharoah, but to LeBron James, who DIDN’T WIN A CHAMPIONSHIP. I call bullsh*t. Irrelevant bullsh*t, but bullsh*t nonetheless.

(and then they give best male athlete to Steph Curry.  Not a bad choice.  But so Lebron  beats Madbum but  doesn’t even win the best basketball player of the year…?  #anythingbuthonoringabaseballplayerwhoisntDerekJeter

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Home Field advantage for the NL – Dodged. Or rather, Dodgered.

July 15, 2015

All those Los Angeles fans who were originally claiming that Clayton Kershaw wasn’t on the NL All Star team. Who knew, most of them were Angels fans with delusions of World Series /home field advantage grandeur?

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Now there’s no Major League Baseball for two more days. So the whole country gets to see what it’s like to be Phillies fans.

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Tiger Woods, rejecting retirement rumors at a news confererence at St. Andrews: “I know some of you guys think I’m buried and done, but I’m still right here in front of you.” Well, through Friday anyhow.

 

After Brittney Griner filed for annulment 28 days after their marriage, fellow WNBA player and soon to be ex-wife Glory Johnson is now asking for $20,000 a month in spousal support.
So yeah, who’s to say gay marriages aren’t equal to “straight” marriages? ‪#‎messy‬

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There were fortunately no injuries when a British woman crashed her car into the back of a van while, as the Daily Mail put it, “pleasuring herself with a vibrator.” Hmm, seems like maybe there’s a potential extra-cost option to be added to those self-driving cars.

 

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Another rant:  After the tragic murder of a young woman in SF, GOP House members are blasting the Obama administration. And they are working on legislation to prevent detained illegal immigrants with criminal records from being released in future.

Okay, fine. Now, while they’re at it, Kathryn Steinle was shot with a gun that had been stolen from a Federal agent earlier in the week. How about legislation to require tracking devices in guns similar to cellphones, which would also prevent murders from happening.

 

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Scott Walker – “The left claims that they’re for American workers and they’ve just got just really lame ideas — things like the minimum wage.”

Well, yeah, if Americans would just start out for say, $1 an hour, there’d be no problem with unemployment or off-shoring jobs….

 

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How bad does it have to be with Bill Cosby when his wife Camille is DEFENDING him by saying his alleged victims “consented” to taking drugs and having sex with him.

 

 

The Oklahoma GOP posted this on their FB page Tuesday..
“The Food Stamp Program, administered by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, is proud to be distributing this year the greatest amount of free Meals and Food Stamps ever, to 46 million people.
Meanwhile, the National Park Service, administered by the U.S. Department of the Interior, asks us “Please Do Not Feed the Animals.” Their stated reason for the policy is because “The animals will grow dependent on handouts and will not learn to take care of themselves.”
Thus ends today’s lesson in irony ?‪#‎OKGOP‬”

Wednesday the post was taken down. Thus ends today’s lesson in thinking before you post on social media. ‪#‎cantfixmean‬ ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

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And back to the sport rants.

An Oakland As season ticket holder has filed a class-action lawsuit to force Major League Baseball to extend the safety netting at its ballparks the entire length of the foul lines, saying there are 1,750 injuries a year now at games.

Okay, 162 times 15 (30 teams playing each other) is 2,430 games. Plus an large number of playoff games. So less than an injury a game. But how many fans now enjoy getting foul balls at games? How many of those injuries are serious? How many involve cellphones? And last but not least, how much do the fan’s lawyers hope to make out of this?

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