Posted tagged ‘hunting jokes’

Base medals?

May 21, 2017

Now turns out Rio Olympic medals are “falling to pieces.” Should make everyone feel real comfortable now living in former Olympic housing

Tim Tebow hit his third home run of the year for the single-A Columbia Fireflies. A real shame he can’t hit against the Mets bullpen.

Isaiah Thomas was out for game 3 of the Eastern Conference finals.  Maybe Lebron decided to even things out by not playing either?

I’m sure what’s left of the Spurs would appreciate Durant doing the same thing tomorrow in game 4.

 

In Zimbabwe, a big game hunter leading a safari was killed when an elephant he was hunting was shot and fell on top of him.  Mean bitch karma for a nice little win.

 

They’ve announced a sequel will be made to the original “Mamma Mia” movie with the original cast, including Meryl Streep, Pierce Brosnan,  Amanda Seyfried, Colin Firth etc.

This news will thrill women, gays, and about 5 straight men.

Wondering why Trump voters won’t get upset w/ him not using phrase “radical Islamic terrorism? Maybe because Fox won’t tell them he didn’t.

Anyone have any doubt what Donald Trump would have had said had he lost election and HillaryClinton signed arms deal w  Saudi Arabia.

Saudis are used to ruling families. So maybe they figure having Ivanka and Jared as surrogates makes sense. #TrumpinSaudi

Ivanka Trump praised Saudis for progress on women’s rights. That’s like praising Kardashians for progress in educational television.

Now Trump wants to gut the budget of the Office of National Drug Control Policy. While Sessions wants to lock all drug users up for the maximum sentences allowed. Never thought I’d miss “compassionate conservatism.”

Trump canceled a public appearance today on foreign trip because he was too tired. Anyone got a picture of him fainting into a motorcade?

 

Serious post about Democratic politics: Does anyone think Donald Trump was most Republicans’ first choice?
Whatever they thought of him, many in the GOP figured, correctly, that he would if President try to advance their agenda. So they held their noses and voted.
Meanwhile, I’ve already heard Democrats talking about 2020 and candidates they won’t support because of some perceived failed litmus lest. #Thisisthewaytolose

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Not so hot?

August 3, 2015
A new study says coffee is good for your brain.

Chris Christie dismissed Donald Trump today, and added “You’re telling me it wasn’t this weird when Herman Cain was winning nationally four years ago or Michele Bachman was winning nationally? I mean, this happens.”

Not sure how many GOP voters are tuning in Thursday, but it’s beginning to look like “must-see TV’ for comedy writers and Democrats.

Eleanor Roosevelt said “Do each day one thing that scares you.” Hmm.   Take two cats by myself to the vet for their annual check-up….  I’m good for today.

You know, it’s just a hunch. But guessing if I don’t “sign” one of the many birthday cards being pushed by various Democratic groups online for the President, that Barack really isn’t going to miss seeing my name.

Washington has signed Junior Gallette, released by the Saints over off-field issues and domestic violence allegation. GM Scot McCloughan “The decision was made because we really believe he’s a Redskin and that’s why I signed him.”

“Really believe he’s a Redskin?”   Yeah, that I concur with. Let this year’s circus begin.

Four home runs for ‪#‎SFGiants‬ in first four innings. And ‪Madison Bumgarner was no doubt bouncing up & down in dugout “Can I pinch hit, can I, can I?”

Is it just me or is Santiago Casilla starting to remind us more and more of Armando Benitez ‪#‎SFGiants‬

Delta Airlines says they will ban Big Game trophies. So they’ll still be able to fly the Cubs.

(substitute Maple Leafs, Lions or any team of your choosing.)

Some hunters are defending big game hunts in Africa as essential to conservation. MAYBE, though the idea that you need to shoot anything more than a picture of a big cat makes me personally ill.

But come on, folks. Hunting by luring animals out of a protected area is like taking a rifle to the zoo. And regarding “”ethical, fair-chase safaris,” uh, it’s a fair-chase only if the lion has a gun too.

So after the controversial edited videos involving fetal tissue, the GOP tried again today to shut down Planned Parenthood, the nation’s largest provider of family planning services. And of course as part of their pro-life platform Republicans also tried to increase funding to help poor women and children…. Oh wait, never mind.

So while we’re ranting. I think I’ve figured out the agenda for some of these GOP men. 1. Having sex is only a right if you can afford to take care of a child from an unplanned pregnancy. 2. Having a gun is a right, period.