Author Archive

And then there were two.

July 9, 2014

Argentina over the Netherlands 4-2 in a penalty kick shootout. Setting up a World Cup final with Germany. Over-under on Nazi War Criminal jokes in the next 4 days?

 

On a brighter note for the World Cup host country, think of all the underprivileged children in Africa who will be be thrilled with their “Brazil, 2014 Champions” shirts.

 

Heard the US has offered to have a ceremony honoring the Brazilian soccer team. Their suggested venue? Wrigley Field.

 

So Germany vs. Argentina for the World Cup Championship Sunday in Rio De Janeiro. For Brazilians that must be like a World Series game 7 featuring the Yankees played at Fenway, or the Dodgers at A T & T, etc…..

 

Headline “Last Year’s Champion Drops Out of Tour de France.” And the response across America “Who?”

 

Sarah Palin is saying she would like to join “The View.” Good thing Barbara Walters has retired. This prospect might have killed her.

After Hobby Lobby, some religious leaders have asked President Obama to be exempted from his forthcoming executive order prohibiting federal contractors from discriminating against LGBTs. But okay, folks, if the point is limiting birth control and abortions, what better sex than gay sex?

An LA jury found the Dodgers partly liable for the injuries to Bryan Stow, ordering them to pay only $4.5 million of an $18 million verdict. $4.5 million!? That’s less than a half-year contract for an average rental player at the trade deadline.

 

Lebron James’ second free agency tour continues without a final decision.  Here we thought Lebron wanted to be Michael Jordan. Appears now he wants to be Brett Favre.

Edward Snowden has asked for an extension on his one-year Russian visa. So, okay, people disagree on if he is guilty of a crime. Snowden CLAIMS, however, “If I could go any place in the world, that place would be home.” So if true wouldn’t you think he’d want to publicly defend himself back home in a trial?

 

 

President Obama today in Texas about the “immigration crisis.” “Are folks more interested in politics or are they more interested in solving the problem?” If Obama has to ask maybe he really hasn’t learned that much during four years in Washington.

Joe Montana, playing in a flag football game which will be the final game at Candlestick Park this weekend “My jersey just got here. I’m pumped, it’s almost time for the game. #cantwait.” Flag football? Have news for Joe. Most of us CAN wait.  Forever if need be.

 

Former New Orleans mayor Ray Nagin, 58, was sentenced today to 10 years in federal prison on corruption and graft charges. Which in Louisiana means Nagin may be released just in time to run for Governor.

 

“Can’t fix stupid” item of the day. A small Pennsylvania newspaper does a reader opinion feature on various topics, complete with a photo of the responders. And a Bloomsburg University student opined on the Redskins name controversy. Campus police saw the picture, recognized it and arrested him for jumping bail in a DUI case…..

 

 

From Marc Ragovin, on the story about two members of one of the NY Mets’ Single A minor league teams being recently arrested for drag racing.  “I guess this gives new meaning to being on the fast track to the majors.”

 

 

Just a few goals past ugly?

July 9, 2014

7-1 final. Germany hasn’t rolled over another country like this since…. oh, does this even need a punchline?

This Brazil vs. Germany World Cup game should get us all ready for those thrilling September SEC-cupcake matchups.

How ugly was it looking in Belo Horizonte against the Germans today? Wonder if the Brazilian team considered singing “Edelweiss” and trying to sneak out the back? #toosoon?


#Dodgers score 5 runs off Justin Verlander in 1st, now trail #Tigers 12-5. Are both teams are taking turns emulating Brazil vs. Germany?



Rough day for the Brazilian team. Maybe a record day for Caipirinha sales.


Meanwhile, what a waste. Madison Bumgarner in an AL park with the DH. He was more likely to get a clutch hit than at least a few batters in the #SFGiants lineup.

 

Cleveland has been selected as the site for the 2016 Republican Convention. Stand by for “Mistake by the Lake” jokes.


Sarah Palin recently referred to today’s politics as “incorrigibly disastrous.” Well, if anyone should be an expert on “incorrigibly disastrous…”

(My friend Julia Park Tracey “I didn’t know she was polysyllabic.”)


Two University of Miami football players, both projected starters, were dismissed from the team after being arrested on sexual battery charges against a “physically helpless” 17-year-old girl. Wonder how long it will take for them to show up “rehabilitated” on another team or on an NFL practice squad?

This summer TGI Fridays will offer “Endless Appetizers.” $10 a person – no sharing please – unlimited refills of choices including Potato Skins, , Mozzarella Sticks and Boneless Buffalo Wings. Presumably the offer also comes with a free test for Type 2 Diabetes.


United Airlines has announced they will outsource 630 jobs at 12 U.S. airports in a cost-saving move. So you thought that customer service was bad at Albuquerque; Buffalo; Charleston, Charlotte; Columbus, Ohio; Des Moines,. Detroit, El Paso, Sioux Falls, Wichita, Pensacola and Salt Lake City before…..

Former “Baywatch” star Pamela Anderson has filed for divorce again. So guys, they’re available.

John Boehner wants another $3.3 million for another House investigation of Benghazi. Not sure what they hope to find out this time, though it now seems pretty certain that if Congress put as much money and effort into protecting our Embassies and Consulates as they are now into “getting” Obama, Ambassador Stevens and the others would be alive today.

Not such sweet dreams.

July 7, 2014

A Yankees fan who was seen sleeping during a Red Sox-Yankees Sunday night game has now filed a $10 million defamation suit again ESPN and its announcers, largely due to some of the comments posted online after his picture went viral. $10 million! That’s almost enough to buy season tickets for a whole year at Yankee Stadium.


Andrew Rector, the “Sleeping Yankees fan”, says the reason for his $10 million lawsuit is that John Kruk and Dan Shulman unleashed an “avalanche of disparaging words.” But okay, so the guy was briefly the butt of some internet jokes amongst some sports fans (personally, I missed it), until they moved on to the next thing. Now millions of Americans not only know Rector fell asleep at a game, they will think he’s an a**hole.

At Target Field in Minneapolis, they’ve installed self-serve beer stands. What could possibly go wrong?

So who needs a show titled “The Decision.” This time Lebron’s choice of teams appears to be a months long ESPN miniseries.


In Fort Wayne, Indiana, a bird was killed when it was hit by a pitch thrown by Detroit Tigers’ minor league prospect Jon Maciel. Wonder if the poor bird had a mistaken sense of invincibility from surviving an earlier HBP from Barry Zito?

Some teaser trailers have been released for “Gone Girl,” the new Ben Affleck thriller that will debut October 3. Of course, for anyone who really can’t wait to know what happens there’s always… reading the book.


Two Mets prospects from Venezuela without U.S. drivers’ licenses were arrested for racing and driving over 100 mph on July 4 in Kingsport, TN. The young men were charged this morning with drag racing, presumably since Tennessee doesn’t have a statute on criminal stupidity?

( Presumably if they could THROW as well as drive over 100 MPH, they would have gotten better signing offers than the Mets.)

Apparently a new danger at the Tour de France is people with their back to the riders, taking selfies while the race goes by. Said one rider “Everyone is out there having fun and a lot of people don’t realize we’re coming past at 37 mph and we use every inch of the roads.” Darwin would be so proud.

#SFGiants All-Star Madison Bumgarner, with two home runs, says he has reached out to captain Troy Tulowitzki about joining the NL HR Derby team. Well, Madbum only has one home run less than both Hector Sanchez and Gregor Blanco.

A ticket vendor who has won FIFA ticket contracts for 20 years was arrested in a World Cup scalping investigation. A remember of the FIFA team might be corrupt? Next someone will try to tell us there is gambling in Casablana.

Jolly good show.

July 6, 2014

That Djokovic Federer #Wimbledon2014 final lasted longer than many celebrity marriages.

Roger Federer and Novak Djokovic both spoke during the awards ceremony after Wimbledon final. Nothing but class. Maybe they should record the ceremony and commentary as a training video for athletes in some other sports.

And Wimbledon always brings to mind some of my favorite bathroom graffiti, seen years ago in London, on the side of the stall  – “Wimbledon spectator practice, see other wall.”  And of course on the other side-.  “Wimbledon spectator practice, see other wall.”

 

Boris Diaw announced via Twitter that he is returning to the Spurs. After no rumors or public discussions with other teams. Once again, San Antonio falls down in the drama department.

In two separate July 4 incidents in Northern California,  three people had part or all of their hands blown off while handling personal fireworks. Isn’t it redundant for the media to report all three people were men?

 

Oops. the Houston Astros single-A affliliate Lancaster JetHawks had fireworks night Saturday, and ended up lighting the outfield wall on fire. (This after another fireworks accident in 2013.) Guess it’s not just their players who aren’t quite ready for the big leagues.

Nelson Cruz was voted to start the All-Star Game a year after his 50-game PED suspension. If Cruz wins the game’s MVP award will Bud Selig smile and shake his hand by invoking the ABB “Anyone But Bonds” clause?.

Buck Showalter, responding to Red Sox pitcher John Lackey’s insinuations about Nelson Cruz and PED’s, said that Lackey should be “careful” and look at his own team. Wonder which “Big” hitter the Orioles manager was referring to?

Most amazing thing about the Brandon McCarthy to the Yankees trade? The Diamondbacks will still pay most of McCarthy’s 2014 salary. #Richgetricher

 

From T.C.. “Most of the Italian, Spanish and Portuguese players promised they’d be back for the 2016 Summer Olympics.  Of course then they’ll be competing in men’s diving.”

Most of the World Cup Italian, Spanish and Portuguese players promised they’ll be back in 2016 for the Summer Olympics. Of course, they will then be representing their countries in Men’s Diving.

Comedy writer TC Chong of Vancouver (http://alwaysfunny.co

– See more at: http://hqprincegeorge.com/hartley-millers-hart-attack-july-4-2014-edition-478/#sthash.XbeHZGZK.dpuf

Most of the World Cup Italian, Spanish and Portuguese players promised they’ll be back in 2016 for the Summer Olympics. Of course, they will then be representing their countries in Men’s Diving.

Comedy writer TC Chong of Vancouver (http://alwaysfunny.co

– See more at: http://hqprincegeorge.com/hartley-millers-hart-attack-july-4-2014-edition-478/#sthash.XbeHZGZK.dpuf

Most of the World Cup Italian, Spanish and Portuguese players promised they’ll be back in 2016 for the Summer Olympics. Of course, they will then be representing their countries in Men’s Diving.

Comedy writer TC Chong of Vancouver (http://alwaysfunny.co

– See more at: http://hqprincegeorge.com/hartley-millers-hart-attack-july-4-2014-edition-478/#sthash.XbeHZGZK.dpuf

We’ve got trouble.

July 6, 2014

 

Browns WR Josh Gordon, already suspended for a year for violating the NFL drug policy, was arrested at 4am this morning for alleged DWI. Well, at least looks like Johnny Manziel will have one less person to party with in Cleveland.

Toronto mayor Rob Ford says he won’t guarantee he will stay sober, and that he can’t make promises about something over which he has “no control.” Wow, an actual honest statement from a politician.

in the US, July 4 was our bbq and fireworks day.    Making July 5  “so what do you put on a burn” day?

Refereeing in the #WorldCup makes me long for the simplicity of baseball’s balk rule.

You cannot make this “stuff” up, dept: Louisiana Congressman Bill Cassidy, who is running against U.S. Senator Mary Landrieu, and who co-sponsored the “Abstinence Education Reallocation Act of 2013”, announced that his unwed 17 year old daughter will have a baby “this summer”

Foster Farms just recalled some chicken linked to a salmonella outbreak. The products have “use or freeze by” dates from March 21 to 29. Of course, if you still have chicken around from March, you might have other problems than salmonella.

 

 

Ad for Eliquis with the usual side-effect mentions in small print “May cause paralysis – the inability to move.” Guess some lawyer decided Americans don’t know what paralysis means…..

 

New Bucks coach Jason Kidd: “‘Why Milwaukee?’ My answer is simple: there is no place I’d rather be” Well, either that or there’s no place Kidd would rather be that would take him.

Amber Battle, Texas Tech’s Lady Raiders’ basketball leading scorer, was involved in a fight with a football player that resulted in the police being called. She has been suspended, for the first month of the season. Good to see that women star players can now be slapped on the hand as hard as men.

 

Last night millions of baseball fans wondered if they needed to adjust their sets. That was an #SFGiant hitting a ball out of the park. Not an illusion.

(and it happened twice more.)

 

What’s more surprising? That the reeling #SFGiants beat the only team that hadn’t blown a lead after seven innings this season. Or that that team was the #SDPadres?

 

 

Regarding illegal immigration: When living conditions are bad enough, people will do whatever it takes to leave their country in the hopes of something better.. And the idea that we can just stop that by making it harder…? Remember the Berlin Wall?

Go fourth!

July 4, 2014

Happy (now belated) Fourth of July. There are many things wrong with the USA. And we might disagree in both what they are on how and how to fix them. But hey, we can at least have an open discussion on Facebook without getting arrested or killing each other. And that’s one thing that’s very right about the USA.


We may be out of the World Cup, but at least American dominance in our national sport is alive and well. Joey Chesnut won his 8th straight Nathan’s eating championship. USA! USA! USA!


The Oakland A’s have apparently acquired Jeff Samardzija from the Cubs. Which means Samardzija is going to the only home stadium in MLB with more antiquated plumbing than Wrigley Field.

Meanwhile, across the bay, these days #SFGiants get behind 2 to 0 and it feels like they have as much chance as a #WorldCup team down 2 to 0 in stoppage team.


Johnny Damon last played in MLB in 2012, but he wants to come back. “When you feel you can still outhit at least half the league and you don’t get that call, it’s rough.” Half the league? Maybe not, though these days he might be able to outhit the #SFGIants.

In the town of Rifle (no joke) Colorado, many of the waitresses at Shooters Grill wear holstered guns while they work. Bet they don’t get stiffed much on tips.

Brazil’s star forward Neymar is out of the #WorldCup after suffering a broken vertebra in today’s game against Colombia. Absolutely shocking. A soccer player falling down because he was actually hurt?

Yes. I often post about dumb men. But just to prove that stupidity is not tied to gender, a Peruvian gal has married Joran van der Sloot. Who is suspected in the murder of Natalee Holloway and currently in prison for killing another woman.


Until and unless the #SFGiants offense starts showing up again Kruk and Kuip should be barred from saying “the big hitters are coming up”

Joey Chesnut proposed to his girlfriend before today’s Nathan’s eating contest. Makes sense, because do you really want to hug someone hard after you’ve eaten 61 hot dogs?

In Florida, Republicans have managed to get the “Charlie Crist for Florida” stickers off a NASCAR car competing in the Coke Zero 400 Saturday, claiming the value of the stickers exceeds the “in-kind” donation limits. Of course, in GOP eyes, “Governor Rick Scott” decals would have probably fallen under the category of protected free speech.

All this drama regarding the NBA free agent market. Anyone but me think it might be just a bit overblown since teams won’t be playing meaningful games until teams start playing meaningful games in next April’s playoffs?

Happy Independence Day.

July 4, 2014

But what’s the big deal.  For a cat, EVERY day is Independence Day.

 

july4

Water world.

July 3, 2014

A Qantas flight from Los Angeles to Melbourne had to turn back when a pipe burst, sending a river of water rushing through the plane. On United they would have just kept going and charged a swimming pool fee.

 

Qantas may be changing their pre-flight briefing.  “In case of rushing water in the aisle, passengers wishing to use the restroom may use their seat cushion as a flotation device.”

Silver lining about all these religious universities whose beliefs are so pure they don’t want the government involved in their health insurance – it will save taxpayer money because they won’t want tainted government funds for their research grants and student loans, right? #wecandream

Apparently the #WorldCup television ratings have been higher than those of the NBA finals. #Betterflopping?

 

All these NBA players working so hard to see if they can end up on teams together… If they spent as much effort actually working on playing as a team together maybe some of these prima donnas would have a better chance for a ring.

 

SportsCenter Breaking News “Lebron James agent meets with multiple teams.” “Lakers and Knicks offer max to Carmelo.” This isn’t an NBA off-season, it’s a bad mini-series of “The Dating Game.”

#SFGiants manager Bruce Bochy says he will drop Blanco – 10 for 59 since Pagan got hurt- down in the batting order “until he gets his swing.” Uh, except what if 10 for 59 IS his swing?

 

Overheard around U.S water coolers today. “Hey, do you know when the next World Cup games are?” “No, me neither.”

Hillary Clinton said in a BBC interview that she’s “grateful” she forgave Bill over Monica Lewinsky. “Forgiveness is a choice, and I fully respect those who don’t make that choice for whatever reason in their personal or professional lives .But for me, it was absolutely the right choice.” So where’s the applause from “family values” conservatives?

Stay classy Mississippi. GOP State Sen. Chris McDaniel is offering a $1,000 ‘reward’ for evidence of voter fraud by Senator Thad Cochran, who beat him in the Republican Primary. In this case the “Big Tent” is more like a cover over a boxing ring.

The economy added 288,000 jobs in June and the unemployment rate fell to 6.1% – the lowest it’s been since September 2008. Time for the GOP to call another hearing on Benghazi.

From an anonymous friend “Next up: SCOTUS declares the Universal Suffrage Amendment unconstitutional because “it wasn’t in the original Constitution, so the Founding Fathers didn’t want it”. Cave paintings at 11″

From Bill Littlejohn  “Food and drink will be delivered to 49er fans at the new Levi’s Stadium via GPS tracking.  Maybe they might reconsider Apple Maps, however, as a couple of construction workers there, however, report that recently their lunches were sent into San Francisco Bay”

Misremembering and misbehaving.

July 3, 2014

Today, U.S. coach Jurgen Klinsmann now says he believed team USA could have won the World Cup — even though he said the exact opposite before they started playing. So maybe Klinsmann’s goal isn’t to be a winning coach, but a politician.

 

The Yankees were swept by the Rays and have now joined the Red Sox in having sub .500 records. Stand by for Bud Selig and MLB to implement emergency 16 team NBA-type playoffs..

 

Okay, maybe your baseball team is suffering. But I think Boston “wins” the week by being swept by the Chicago Cubs. Capped off by a 16-9 loss tonight. Talk about “50 Shades of Red Sox.”

 

But as T.C. says “Cubs 16; Red Sox 9. Boston doesn’t need hitting, they need Tom Brady!!!!”

Toronto mayor Rob Ford, just out of rehab, says “he can’t imagine” saying the things he said about black people, Jews and Italians. “When you have this disease, you say things, do things that aren’t you.” And Donald Sterling said “Why didn’t I think of that?

In England, the lawyer for ex-“News of the World” editor Andy Coulson, convicted of phone hacking, is pleading for a reduced sentence. The claim, that no one in the newspaper industry “realized that interception of voicemail messages was illegal, in the sense of criminal.” Ah, what, Coulson thought it was only immoral?

Target is asking customers, even those in “open carry” states, to leave their firearms at home. And really, who needs a gun while shopping anyway? Well, outside the first hour or so of a “Black Friday” sale.

At a Starbucks with line out the door, young woman is not only ordering for herself, but texting back and forth with a friend as to what kind of iced tea the friend wants. When she has finally paid, and line has grown, gal then pulls two Starbucks gift cards from her wallet and says “Can you verify the balances on these for me?” Beginning to see there just MIGHT be a reason for “open carry.”

Car in front of me on way to work had a “student driver” sign on it. Of course, it might have been obvious, the driver was actually using turn signals.

 

Protesters this week blocked buses containing undocumented immigrants from entering the Southern California  town of Murrieta. Said one woman “”I just wish America would be America again.” “Amen,” responded Native Americans.

 

Rick Perry has given up wearing cowboy boots. Allegedly as a way to soften his Texas image as he runs for President again in 2016. Amazing. For appealing to a national audience, guns aren’t dangerous but boots are?

 

Louisiana Rep. Vance McAllister, elected on a “Christian Family Values” platform, became known as the “kissing congressman” when he was seen on video making out with a staffer, McAllister said he would step down but now says he will seek re-election in November. Well, makes sense. He changed his mind about “forsaking all others” too.

No looking back.

July 1, 2014

 It could be worse for #USA in #WorldCup. We could be a country that cares about being eliminated for more than 5 minutes. #England, #Spain, #Chile

 

So the USA lost again Tuesday. That means we advance again, right? #WorldCup

A nice win for Belgium. So Americans will have to go back to wasting time at work by looking at cat videos. #WorldCup

Now that we are out of #WorldCup maybe #SFGiants will stop emulating #TeamUSA and start scoring.?

 

A new Florida Gators calendar is out, and Mr. July is…. Aaron Hernandez. Yikes. Apparently the pictures had to be approved in Spring, 2013. Well, it does mean the most embarrassing NFL picture on the calendar isn’t of Tim Tebow.

Rolando McClain retired from the NFL in April, saying “Now I know God has something else planned for me and that my life is bigger than football.” Now he’s un-retired and signed with Dallas.  So what,  McClain is now trying to say that he thinks God is a Cowboys fan?

A federal appeals court has agreed to reconsider Barry Bonds’ felony conviction for obstruction of justice. Wonder what happens if Bonds incorporates himself and says the “cream and the clear” were part of his religion?

Not that it will ever happen, but if teams in the #WorldCup knockout round had to win by 2, like in tennis, and if they had to keep playing until that happened, the games might be a lot more watchable. IMHO.

So the FTC claims T-Mobile added bogus overcharges to customers’ bills. As opposed to T-Mobile’s legitimate overcharges?

The Los Angeles City Attorney’s office announced after a “long review” that Aldon Smith will not be charged after being arrested for allegedly making a fake bomb threat at LAX this April. So where’s the disclaimer – “Professional athlete, do not attempt.”

A federal judge ruled today that same-sex couples have a right to marry in Kentucky. Kind of puts a new slant on sisterhood and brotherhood.

So the news that some of us may have been amongst the 700,000 guinea pigs in a FB experiment of either skewing new feeds positively or negatively is not thrilling. But then there’s the question – what other FB experiments do we not yet know about?

Serena Williams is gone, Maria Sharapova is gone. This potential women’s Wimbledon is shaping up to have all the ratings draw of a Tiger-less golf tournament.

Some statements just cannot be topped with a punchline. Monica Lewinsky, talking about the Starr report and the media “I was a virgin to humiliation.”

 

From T.C’ “Wednesday’s water cooler hot topic will be the US Soccer team’s World Cup loss to Belgium. Of course 99.9% of those asked if they watched the game will respond “No”.”

 

 

Political thoughts, anyone not interested can stop reading now. But.

 

Have to wonder with the Hobby Lobby decision, how would Sandra Day O’Connor have voted, as opposed to her replacement Samuel Alito? (Who says I never say anything nice about Ronald Reagan?)

 

Here’s one of many frustrating things about #SCOTUS decision. Good people can disagree on abortion. (And I am one who thinks it should be between a woman, her doctor and her God if she has one.). But the Hobby Lobby ruling is about four types of contraception they believe to be abortion. But many scientists would say otherwise.. Plan B is simply a large dose of birth control pills and may prevent ovulation,. The copper in the IUD is toxic to sperm and may prevent fertilization…. But hey, why should science enter into this when it’s a morality play?

Filling out those permission slips?

June 30, 2014

 

 

Thinking anyone who is asking or sneaking off from work Tues.to watch USA vs. Belgium should be able to name 2 players on USA Team #WorldCup

Charming. Waffle House now says that since the U.S. is playing Belgium tomorrow “We support a boycott on Belgian Waffles. We support America. We don’t support Belgian Waffles.” Except that actually in Belgium they have Brussels Waffles and Liege Waffles. Not “Belgian.” And the food that originated in Belgium that Americans really love is French Fries. #nojoke

Regarding this call for a boycott of Belgian waffles. We’d find out how little Americans, particularly women, care about the World Cup if the call instead had been for a boycott of Belgian chocolate. #priorities.

The U.S soccer coach apparently thinks Belgium will have an advantage tomorrow with the Algerian referee. Because the U.S. helped eliminate Algeria last time and because the ref speaks French. And how many Americans are thinking “Well, at least he doesn’t speak Belgian?”

 

Apparently thousands of bags were lost and/or delayed by British Airways at Heathrow last weekend. Thousands. And U.S. airlines accused British Airways of bragging.

 

So the Supreme Court has ruled for Hobby Lobby. Ready for the first business to sue demanding not to cover Viagra, unless the man is married to a woman of childbearing age. (And not while that woman is pregnant.) And for that matter, why cover vasectomies at all?

 

I guess I missed the part in American History when “Freedom of Religion” became “Freedom to Follow MY Religion?” #SCOTUS

Today’s Supreme Court decision applies to “closely-held” corporations. So if you’re a woman considering working a small business, check the owners’ bumper stickers.

The emergency evacuation slide on a United Airlines flight from Chicago to Orange County, California accidentally deployed Sunday night, and the plane was diverted to Wichita, Kansas. United is being generous, however, in giving affected passengers free hotel rooms, and waiving their slide fee.

Lebron James has informed teams that he wants nothing less than the maximum salary for 2014-5, which is projected to be $22.2 million. Because surrounding a few stars with bargain basement players worked out so well this season?

A new survey found that 47% of U.S. adults said they wouldn’t last 24 hours without their smart phones. The other 53% were no doubt too wrapped up in their phones to answer the survey.

Someone leaded details of the Houston Astros’ trade discussions to a data sharing website. The team is said to be furious, but come on, who’s going to try to steal negotiation secrets from the Astros?

Okay, how many casual BayArea fans heard “walk off grand slam loss” and assumed ‪#‎SFGIants‬ instead of ‪#‎OaklandAs‬

And yes, it is wrong to rejoice in the misery of others. But my first team when I was 8 was the Detroit Tigers, and I have hated the As since they knocked “my” Tigers out of the World Series in 1972. So it’s not just me being an #SFGIants fan that really enjoyed Rajai Davis’s walkoff grand slam.

General Motors has recalled over 39 million  cars this year. Wow. Who knew GM had sold over 39 million cars?

 

The San Diego Padres beat the Cincinnati Reds 1-0 today, despite getting only one hit. Not surprising that the Reds – or Padres – hitting was that bad. But how did Cincinnati sweep 4 games from the SFGiants? ‪#‎automaticnoclutch‬

Going down.

June 29, 2014

Would baseball be more popular around the world if batters could fall to the ground writhing in agony if the pitch got near them and then be awarded 1st base? #WorldCup #flopping

Brazil coach Luiz Felipe Scolari said he and his team “can’t be polite anymore” after barely beating Chile. Are they flopping too gracefully?

A fire broke out in the boiler room of a Holland America cruise ship leaving Seattle yesterday. But it was quickly extinguished, the ship returned to port without incident, and was cleared to sail again this morning. “Darn” said CNN.

In the 9th inning of a 4-0 loss, the #SFGiants won a review and have a play overturned. So where do you go to request the month of June be overturned?

Open note to #SFGiants. This is not the World Cup. You don’t have to wait to score with penalty kicks.

 

So according to Bochy, Sergio Romo will no longer be closing games for the #sfgiants. Of course that’s been true for over two weeks.

SF Giants manager Bruce Bochy today said the team “as a group, we’ve hit a bump in the road.” A bump? Feels more like a Giant sinkhole.

 

 

As of Sunday night, at SeaWorld San Diego, apparently several people have been stuck on the Skytower ride for several hours due to a power issue. The San Diego Fire Department is on stand-by.but says “no one is in distress.” If they’re not in distress after several hours guess this makes the Skytower perhaps the world’s highest outhouse.

Texas Tech has dismissed their top football recruit, CB Nigel Bethel II, for allegedly punching one of the their star woman basketball players in the face during a pickup basketball game. Next stop for Bethel, the Baltimore Ravens?

No injuries fortunately when two Ryanair jets ran into each other at London’s Stansted Airport yesterday morning. A spokesman said they hit wing tip to tail cone while one was approaching a gate and the was pushing back. Maybe enough passengers didn’t pay the “light stick” fee?

 

 

The Cleveland Browns owner reportedly told Johnny Manziel to “tone it down” and watch “what goes up on social media. Manziel reportedly responded that he’s not going to change his ways and will enjoy his time off. Of course, if Johnny can’t deliver on the field in the NFL, he could end up with a lot more time off.

 

Missed it by that much.

June 29, 2014

South Korea says North Korea fired two projectiles Sunday that “appear to be short-range missiles” into the sea off the eastern coast of the country. Or were these Kim Jong-Un’s attempt to hit Hollywood after that “act of war” James Franco movie?

 

 

Cover of NY Times Magazine from June 8 “The World Cup Issue – Featuring Ronaldo. The Man With the Golden Touch.” Who does the magazine think they are, Sports Illustrated? #jinx

Seen on a package of Trader Joe’s Turkey Jerky – “Turkey raised without artificial hormones.” Underneath – “Federal regulations do not permit the use of added hormones in Turkey.”

 

Luis Suarez says in no way was it ‘”a bite or intent to bite.”After the impact… I lost my balance, making my body unstable and falling on top of my opponent.” I think I like “pushed into a lifeboat” better.

When Brazil escaped their World Cup match with Chile by one penalty kick, wonder how many of the 11 players on the team cancelled their one-way flights out of the country?

With a “blowout”, by World Cup standards, 2-0 win today, looks like Colombia didn’t have to fight tooth and nail to beat Uruguay.

On June 13, ESPN’s’ Dan Szymborski wrote an article saying “Calling the NL West for S.F.” Would he like to write another article now saying the Dodgers look like a juggernaut and the Giants look done? #jinx

Fine whine of the day. Serena Williams, after being upset in the third round at Wimbledon “If I’m not playing a great, great match, these girls, when they play me, they play as if they’re on the ATP Tour, and then they play other girls completely different. It’s never easy being in my shoes.”

 

Chris Bosh and  Dwayne Wade have now joined Lebron James in opting out of their Miami Heat contracts to try free agency.  Shame they can’t all take their talents overseas. Would be fun to have an NBA team named “the Swiss Mercenaries.”

Confused about this #WorldCup. I think I’ve now figured out the penalty kicks. But when do they give out the Academy Awards for flopping.

 

 

Nestle recalled 10,000 containers of Haagen-Dazs chocolate peanut butter ice cream where the top lid was correct but the cartons said Chocolate Chocolate Chip, And sent out a notice “People who have an allergy or severe sensitivity to peanuts may run the risk of serious or life-threatening allergic reaction if they consumer this product.” Absolutely true, a real mistake, and yes, people should return the product but have to think if you’re deathly allergic, you should be paying close attention.

 

 

#SergioRomo, after 5th blown June save. “It doesn’t deter my confidence.” #SFGiants fans’ confidence, however, just a bit past deterred.

Not so Tidy – Whities?

June 28, 2014

Apparently Wimbledon is enforcing the all white clothing rule so tightly this year and some women players have have to remove their colored undergarments and go braless. Is this too much tradition, or a shameless grab for television ratings?

President Obama on the GOP. They “don’t do anything but block me and call me names.” And John Boehner said “Okay, who leaked our mission statement?”

Tiger Woods has missed the cut  for the Quicken Loan Tournament. Which means golf ratings this weekend will be almost as high as those of the  World Cup in the US after Tuesday  if Belgium wins.

 

Randy Moss has been hired as an associate football coach by his son’s high school. Not sure exactly what the former NFL star is supposed to teach the kids. But pretty sure it isn’t humility.

ABC has fired Sherri Shepherd and Jenny McCarthy from “The View.” Many women are thinking “How terrible.” Many men are thinking “Who?”

Really? There’s now a Kim Kardashian video game?! Assume the goal is to make a big a** of yourself? #KimKardashianHollywood

ESPN had a spoiler alert – basically that the second ranked woman in the world was knocked out at Wimbledon. To be a real spoiler don’t people have to know who the #2 woman in the world is?

 

A marijuana food truck plans to open soon in Everett, a suburb of Seattle, Washington. Talk about a symbiotic operation.

Fred Dicker, a NY Post columnist, referred to a white state senator as a “spear chucker” for the New York City Democratic delegation, which is mostly black. And then said it was not a racial slur. Right. Will Dicker then suggest “spear chuckers” for a new name for Washington’s football team?

 

Joaquin Arias is 1 for 18 as a pinch-hitter for the #SFGiants. That’s not a “pinch-hitter”, that’s a “pinch-outter.”

Clients called saying they would be late to an appointment at our office. They were lost because their GPS had broken. If only there were an inexpensive, simple, portable way to get directions. #Imissmaps

 

One of the Miss America contestants this September was originally the runner-up, and only found out she won her state pageant 6 days later, when organizers realized a vote count error, and dethroned the original winner. You guessed it, Miss Florida.

Wonder if the new Miss Florida was crowned by the Supreme Court?

 

A federal judge upheld Colorado’s new gun laws that mandate background checks for all gun sales and limited the capacity of ammunition magazines. From the ruling; “Of the many law enforcement officials called to testify, none were able to identify a single instance in which they were involved where a single civilian fired more than 15 shots in self defense.” Common sense, what a concept.

 

 

And finally a no snark item for a change.

 

Apparently actress Amy Adams, who had a 1st class seat on American Airlines, saw a uniformed soldier at the gate and quietly got the flight attendant to switch their seats so Ms. Adams ended up in coach. Wow. A celebrity making news that doesn’t involve an arrest, a wardrobe malfunction or a sex tape. Very well played, Amy,

Time to man up?

June 26, 2014

Really? Ann Coulter, says “any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation’s moral decay.” And that “I promise you: No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer.” First, Ann should STFU. Second, few Americans are likely to be watching past the next round anyway.

 

 

Another thought on Ann Coulter’s comment that “No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer.” Thinking that not having children just makes Ann bitter about never having the chance to become a great-grandfather.

Phrase we never thought we’d hear in the USA. “Don’t ask me a work question, I’m watching the #WorldCup.” #USAvGER

Question asked around the US today? “So how do you win the World Cup by losing a game? “. “Oh, you mean there’s more…?”

In later World Cup games Thursday, Belgium beat Korea 1-0 and Algeria tied Russia 1-1. And across the USA one response “There were later games?”

Luis Suarez has been banned four months for biting. Although his actions did change the conventional wisdom that most Americans couldn’t name a single player in the World Cup

Ghana has kicked two players off their World Cup team after a training “altercation.” And apparently they had to bring $3 million in cash to Brazil yesterday after players threatened to mutiny over not being paid enough. Who says “futebol” is nothing like American football?

Tiger Woods shot a 74 on his first day back in a tournament. At ESPN they are wishing there were only some way to give the other golfers red cards.

 

Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan will apparently reunite briefly on screen in the upcoming movie “Ithaca.” Of course, this time they will both be “Sleepless in Seattle” from getting up in the middle of the night to pee.

Howard Baker, 88, has died. He was Reagan’s chief of staff, a presidential candidate himself, and a moderate GOP Senate Majority Leader. Yes, Virginia, there was a time you could be known as a “moderate Senate Majority Leader”

If anyone has been  watching the #SFGiants lately and  heard Tim Lincecum threw a no-hitter against the Padres, their first question must have been “Did he win?

 

LGBT night at A T and T  and not a single same sex couple shown on “Kiss Cam.”. That’s as weak as #SFGiants hitting tonight.

According to the CDC, women are considered “heavy drinkers” if they have eight or more drinks a week, men are “heavy drinkers” if they have 15 or more. Great, one more stressor to drive us to drink.

 –

UK based Titan says they have sold at least one Titan “Zeus”, a $1.6 million, 370 inch TV. And somewhere some guy’s neighbor is plotting how he can find one bigger.

Open note to all drivers: When you are the 2nd, 3rd and 4th cars through the intersection after the light in the other direction turns green, it is just possible you ran a light that was a bit past yellow.

 

From Bill Littlejohn :   “Robert Morris University-Illinois has become the first school to consider video games as a sport.   CalTech could be next, but has concerns over attracting too many ‘one-and-dones'”

Big Time Timmy Jim

June 25, 2014

This is Xena, the voodoo cat, during the 9th inning of Tim Lincecum’s  no-hitter today. #keepcalm #Wegotthis

Image

Okay #Dodgers, so your ace threw a great game last week. But let’s see him throw a no-no and get on base 3 times with two hits in the same game. Your move, Kershaw. #SFGiants

The SF Giants are undefeated when Tim Lincecum throws a no-hitter.

 

It’s just one day, but earlier this year I’ heard a few people in the SF area say if the Giants only hadn’t made that ill-fated Carlos Beltran trade with the NY Mets they could have Zach Wheeler starting instead of Lincecum. Wheeler was knocked out after 2 innings today by the As with 6 earned runs….

Apparently only two pitchers in history have 2 Cy Youngs, 2 World Series titles and 2 no-hitters – #TimLincecum & #SandyKoufax @SFGiants

In the 7th inning of the no-hitter,  SF Giants announcer Mike Krukow said Tim Lincecum, who was laughing and joking with his teammates, was not observing “normal traditions.” Anyone else never expect to hear #Lincecum and “normal” in same sentence?

USA Today Headline of “Lebron James’ seven best options for free agency.” They listed seven teams. The eighth and most option though “Keeping his mouth shut.”

Hillary Clinton now says she was “unartful” in talking about her family’s money. Now, I may well end up voting for Hillary, but “unartful” is a fancy way of saying “stupid.”

When a South Carolina couple missed their Carnival Cruise because they didn’t have proper ID, they rented a car and drove down the coast to get the IDs and catch the ship in Florida. En route they got into a fight and the husband is now being held on charges of attempted murder. Lots of cruisers have to be glad they didn’t get between this guy and the last shrimps on the buffet line.

Luis Suarez may be suspended by FIFA after yesterday’s “incident.” On a brighter note the Uruguay star might get an endorsement contract from New York for an ad campaign to “Take a Bite of the Big Apple.”

 

With Nigerians focused on their game against Argentina Wednesday morning, did that mean Americans are seeing a lot fewer opportunities this morning to get rich in their email in-boxes?

 

Love this report from a client traveling this morning on United. Flight attendant asks people in both exit rows if they are willing and able to help in an emergency. Guy in the first exit row points to his seatmates and says “Let me translate for them, they don’t speak English.”

The Supreme Court ruled today that police need a warrant to search the contents of a cell phone seized during an arrest. The ruling was unanimous. Unanimous? Did Sonia Sotomayor bring back some brownies to share from a trip to Colorado?

 

Hueytown. Alabama, hometown of the Heisman winner, has declared July 5, “Jameis Winston Day.” Presumably restaurants in town will be advertising “crab so cheap it’s almost free!”

In Mississippi, losing Tea Party candidate Chris McDaniel indicated he may sue over Democrats, many of them African-American, voting for Thad Cochran in the GOP primary. And presumably McDaniel wants to do something about those pesky 15th and 19th amendments while he is at it.

Georgia police now say they have evidence that a man who said he accidentally left his child to die in a hot car, did so deliberately. If so, and he is convicted of murder can someone accidentally leave him handcuffed in the back of a police car for a summer day?

California fined #wholefoods $800,000 for illegally overcharging customers. How could they tell?

(Jon N. “Where do they draw the line between legally overcharging and illegally overcharging?”)

 

 

John Boehner says he will sue President Obama over excessive use of executive orders. And Snopes.com says he has so far issued 168 of them. The horror. Compared I guess to that strict constitutionalist George W. Bush, who issued 291.

A hard-bitten team?

June 24, 2014

 

This just in –  World Cup coaches have ordered players to strike “Bite Me” from their vocabularies against Uruguay.

Mike Tyson has just been named an honorary team captain for #Uruguay #WorldCup #Suarez

 

Luis Suarez says of his biting another player, for the third time, “these things happen.” Translation, if you’re playing Uruguay in the next round of the World Cup, get a rabies shot.”

Will the headline for #Italy‘s #WorldCup exit today be “The Biter End?” #Uruguay #Suarez

All this commotion over Uruguay player Luis Suarez biting an Italian player today. This would never have happened with England playing Italy. #WorldCup

 

 

President Obama visited a Chipotle restaurant today and REACHED OVER THE SNEEZE GUARD to point at what he wanted. Republicans will no doubt soon announce a congressional investigation. #impeachableoffense

After almost a year long investigation, the NTSB faults actions by the pilots in the crash of Asiana Airlines 214 in San Francisco. In another year will an investigation conclude that Malaysian is missing a plane?

That moment when you think the “Crooks are stupid” contest for the year is already over, and it’s only June: In Minnesota, a burglar apparently couldn’t resist checking his FB on the home computer of someone he was robbing. And he FORGOT TO LOG OUT. So police tracked him down from the profile. Guess he has updated his status to #Busted.

Wonder how many #Miami fans are checking #Cleveland websites for advice on the best way to burn jerseys. #TheDecision2 #Lebron

#Lebron James will opt out of his #MiamiHeat deal. Assume the #Spurs have already told him, “No Thanks.”

Gregg Popovich, on Tim Duncan’s decision to return to the Spurs for a relatively low salary. “”He feels a responsibility to his teammates.” And Kobe Bryant and Lebron James responded “A what?”

 

 

The Phillies signed OF Grady Sizemore to a minor league contract. The way Philly is playing this season, isn’t “minor league contract” redundant?

 

 

Headline – “Boehner threatens war with Obama.” As opposed to his current wonderful spirit of cooperation?

From Alex Kaseberg: “U.S. women’s soccer goal, Hope Solo, was accused of assaulting two family members. She was charged with two counts of assault and one count of impersonating an NFL player.”

Mr. Padre.

June 24, 2014

gwynn

The #SFGiants honored Tony Gwynn before their game today.  And even put his #19 up on their wall.  Classy move for a real class act ballplayer.

 

(Although after honoring the best #SDPadres hitter ever in  Tony Gwynn, the Giants made  1st time starting pitcher Despaigne look like Trevor Hoffman each and every inning. #unclearontheconcept)

 

 

-Tony Gwynn got 97.61% of the votes in becoming a first ballot Hall-of-Famer, appearing on 532 of 545 ballots.   So were the other 13 voters a**holes or just ignorant.

 

 

 

 

The Tampa Bay Rays invited a 17 year old girl to throw batting practice for them before today’s game. Good thing they weren’t playing an interleague game in SF. She might have shut out the ‪#‎SFGiants‬.

 

#TimDuncan has quietly exercised his $10.3 million option to stay with #SanAntonio. My dad is right on this one. The #Spurs are just too professional for the media. #nodrama.

Apparently a “scathing” report by the Office of Special Counsel found a “troubling pattern of deficient care at VA facilities nationwide.” Not good. But have to wonder, what kind of pattern would they find at a lot of U.S. HMO’s?

Apparently some men tagging sharks from a 35-ft boat off the NJ shore have a video of getting their chum bag stolen by a 16-ft shark. Wonder who was the first to say “we’re going to need a bigger chum bag.”

You can’t make this stuff up. Mississippi Senator Thad Cochran, 76, who is struggling to keep his seat by fighting off a younger challenger, now has Brett Favre campaigning for him.

Katy Perry offered she’ll write Hillary Clinton’s theme song if Hillary runs again for President in 2016. And Bill offered to spend some private time consulting with Katy while she works on it.

There is a theory that warm weather countries are at a big advantage in this #WorldCup because of the hot, humid conditions in Brazil. If true, then just how good is the Netherlands?

With all the finger pointing after yesterday’s last second Portugal comeback, did anyone notice if a “mission accomplished” banner was raised on the U.S. side?

 

The USA Portugal broadcast had 24.7 million viewers between ESPN and Univision, a new record for any soccer game in the US. To put this in perspective, it’s a little more than half the 45.7 million who watched the 2014 NFL draft.

 

3 goals in 10 minutes Monday for Mexico. Who took the ball out of the humidor? #WorldCup

Oh lordie. Now with Hillary Clinton’s awkward statements about her family’s wealth, Joe Biden said today he’s “the poorest man in Congress. Adding.”I don’t own a single stock or bond. … I have no savings accounts. The VP and his wife reported $407,009 in adjusted gross income in 2013. If Biden’s telling the truth it doesn’t say much for his ability to manage his own money, let alone taxpayer dollars..

A Louisiana man is recovering with 80 stitches in his hand after he and his friends were drunk and tried to move an alligator out of the road. And Darwin is thinking “missed it by that much.”

Fit to be tied?

June 23, 2014

US Coach Jurgen Klinsmann, complaining about his team’s chances against Germany “They played yesterday, we played today. We played in the Amazon, they played in a location where they don’t have to travel much. Everything was done for the big favourites to go and move on. We’re going to do it the tough way.” Of course, the easiest way would have been to play good defense for another 30
seconds today.

Tough last minute tie for the USA. Some of these heartbroken fans have been rooting for the team for their entire weekend. #WorldCup

But if life is supposed to be a learning experience, a whole lot of Americans just learned about the concept of stoppage time. #WorldCup

 

#SFGiants are undefeated in the #Panik era.

All this talk about the heat in Brazil. It was only 110 degrees in Qatar today. #Worldcup

 

A man is suing British Airways because he said he wanted to book tickets to Granada, Spain, two hours from London, and ended up on a flight to the Caribbean Island of Grenada, nine hours from London. And it didn’t occur to the traveler to read his itinerary? #cantfixstupid

Oops. A Samsung Twitter Sunday read “Best of luck to Landon Donovan & the USA team. #GALAXY11” On the brighter side for the Korean company, a lot of casual American soccer fans didn’t notice a problem.

If we really wanted to get World Cup interest going in the US, FIFA should suggest that newspapers publish brackets with disclaimers that of course no betting and pools are allowed.

Carmelo Anthony is apparently planning to opt out of his NY Knicks contract. What a shame to break up such a great 37-45 team…

With Lucy Li, 11, in the Women’s U.S. Open, a lot of media focus was on someone who didn’t even make the cut. Getting us ready for Tiger Woods next weekend?

From Gary M.  “Would it be appropriate to begin a Kick-start campaign to raise bail for Hope Solo?”

 

From Bill Littlejohn  “Last Sunday for Father’s Day the SF Giants gave away ties.  Presumably the way Sergio Romo has been blowing, and nearly blowing, saves, all of those ties were more than a little tight.”

Shopping for a Cup?

June 22, 2014

 

Saturday night in the World Cup – Nigeria vs. Bosnia-Herzegovina. “I’ll take “Two countries most Americans couldn’t find on a map for $600, Alex.”

If #USA plays their next two games to 0-0 ties, they advance in the #WorldCup. And some say baseball can be boring.

 

 

Amazing how many people who can tell you the exact details of what must happen for the U.S. to advance in the #WorldCup couldn’t give you the names of two players on the team.

Gold medalist soccer star Hope Solo has been arrested and held without bail for alleged domestic-violence assault. Who says women athletes will never be the equals of men?

Alex Rodriguez has dropped his malpractice lawsuit against Yankees doctor “for the sole purpose of having no legal distractions” as he hopes to play again for the team in 2015. So no “legal” distractions. Over-under on other types of distractions?

In Boston they’ve got to be thinking “Thank Heaven for Tampa Bay. The Rays might be the only reason the Red Sox don’t complete the “worst to first to worst” loop this year.’

 

When a Georgia man was arrested for swimming naked he told the arresting officer he was “not a threat to society” and to “check out his Youtube channel.” When the policeman eventually did, he saw videos that showed a large pot growing operation. Oops. Arrested again, naturally.

 

Joe Panik arrived on Saturday afternoon in Arizona to join the #SFGiants. His glove and bats are apparently still “in a connecting city.” First lesson of big league life Joe, your glove fits in the overhead bin…..

 

 

 

Joe Panik. No batting average. 1,000 Obp. Nice start. #sfgiants

 

Although marijuana is legal in Colorado, Google, Twitter and Facebook do not accept pot ads. Morality issues? Or are they thinking their target audience wouldn’t remember the ads anyway?

 

The new “Northwest Science Museum Vision Centre, in Boise, Idaho dedicated to creationism, claims Noah took baby dinosaurs onto his ark because the adults would not fit. Your move, Florida

 

Chris Christie, ranting at the “Faith and Freedom Coalition” conference. “Name me the one pro-life Democrat who has ever been able and allowed to speak at a Democratic National Convention since Roe v. Wade. Don’t strain yourself, because there’s never been one. Theirs is the party that’s intolerant … ” Maybe what Christie meant was “the GOP is the party of memory loss.”