Posted tagged ‘Tim Lincecum jokes’

Big Time Timmy Jim

June 25, 2014

This is Xena, the voodoo cat, during the 9th inning of Tim Lincecum’s  no-hitter today. #keepcalm #Wegotthis

Image

Okay #Dodgers, so your ace threw a great game last week. But let’s see him throw a no-no and get on base 3 times with two hits in the same game. Your move, Kershaw. #SFGiants

The SF Giants are undefeated when Tim Lincecum throws a no-hitter.

 

It’s just one day, but earlier this year I’ heard a few people in the SF area say if the Giants only hadn’t made that ill-fated Carlos Beltran trade with the NY Mets they could have Zach Wheeler starting instead of Lincecum. Wheeler was knocked out after 2 innings today by the As with 6 earned runs….

Apparently only two pitchers in history have 2 Cy Youngs, 2 World Series titles and 2 no-hitters – #TimLincecum & #SandyKoufax @SFGiants

In the 7th inning of the no-hitter,  SF Giants announcer Mike Krukow said Tim Lincecum, who was laughing and joking with his teammates, was not observing “normal traditions.” Anyone else never expect to hear #Lincecum and “normal” in same sentence?

USA Today Headline of “Lebron James’ seven best options for free agency.” They listed seven teams. The eighth and most option though “Keeping his mouth shut.”

Hillary Clinton now says she was “unartful” in talking about her family’s money. Now, I may well end up voting for Hillary, but “unartful” is a fancy way of saying “stupid.”

When a South Carolina couple missed their Carnival Cruise because they didn’t have proper ID, they rented a car and drove down the coast to get the IDs and catch the ship in Florida. En route they got into a fight and the husband is now being held on charges of attempted murder. Lots of cruisers have to be glad they didn’t get between this guy and the last shrimps on the buffet line.

Luis Suarez may be suspended by FIFA after yesterday’s “incident.” On a brighter note the Uruguay star might get an endorsement contract from New York for an ad campaign to “Take a Bite of the Big Apple.”

 

With Nigerians focused on their game against Argentina Wednesday morning, did that mean Americans are seeing a lot fewer opportunities this morning to get rich in their email in-boxes?

 

Love this report from a client traveling this morning on United. Flight attendant asks people in both exit rows if they are willing and able to help in an emergency. Guy in the first exit row points to his seatmates and says “Let me translate for them, they don’t speak English.”

The Supreme Court ruled today that police need a warrant to search the contents of a cell phone seized during an arrest. The ruling was unanimous. Unanimous? Did Sonia Sotomayor bring back some brownies to share from a trip to Colorado?

 

Hueytown. Alabama, hometown of the Heisman winner, has declared July 5, “Jameis Winston Day.” Presumably restaurants in town will be advertising “crab so cheap it’s almost free!”

In Mississippi, losing Tea Party candidate Chris McDaniel indicated he may sue over Democrats, many of them African-American, voting for Thad Cochran in the GOP primary. And presumably McDaniel wants to do something about those pesky 15th and 19th amendments while he is at it.

Georgia police now say they have evidence that a man who said he accidentally left his child to die in a hot car, did so deliberately. If so, and he is convicted of murder can someone accidentally leave him handcuffed in the back of a police car for a summer day?

California fined #wholefoods $800,000 for illegally overcharging customers. How could they tell?

(Jon N. “Where do they draw the line between legally overcharging and illegally overcharging?”)

 

 

John Boehner says he will sue President Obama over excessive use of executive orders. And Snopes.com says he has so far issued 168 of them. The horror. Compared I guess to that strict constitutionalist George W. Bush, who issued 291.

Freak show.

October 8, 2010

Tim Lincecum,  14 strikeouts, 31 swing and misses (most in the majors all season), and a 1-0 complete game victory.  And he did it without benefit of pitching to his own lineup.

(No, it wasn’t quite the record for strikeouts in a post-season game. But he should definitely have the record for most strikeouts per pound.)

Okay, this is a long way away, several games anyway, from being reality, but… If the Phillies and Giants meet in the NLCS and Halladay and Lincecum pitch game one, I’m figuring the over-under in Vegas is about one and a half.

(Reader T.C. suggested the over under for Thursday’s game should have been 3 1/2.  Actually it was 6, which is low for a major league game, the average is about 8-9.  And it didn’t even turn out to be close.)

Another 1-0 game for the SF Giants Thursday night, this time a win.  Between innings the p.a. system played “Living on a prayer.”  I think it’s the hitters’ theme -song.

And sorry if this offends anyone, but the newest t-shirt sold outside A T and T Park tomorrow is likely to be “Tim Lincecum,  F*** Yeah.”

So first Lincecum drops the F-bomb in a postgame interview after the Giants clinch the West, now Jerry Brown is overheard in a conversation where his aide refers to Meg Whitman as a “whore. ” 

Wow, athletes and politicians swear. I am shocked, shocked.

Brown immediately issued an apology to Meg Whitman for the conversation. Now he’s been asked for a second apology, from the Prostitutes Union.

Actually, at this point I think Californians might cheerfully elect a capable whore.  Prostitutes are generally straightforward, actually give value for money, and at least leave people satisfied.  (And yes, there are more R and X rated versions of this riff, but I’ll quit while I’m ahead, or rather, behind.)

Sharron Angle’s pastor, John Reed, has now gone after Harry Reid by saying that because he’s a Mormon, the Senator is a member of a “bizarre cult.”

Hmm,  Did Reed forget about that Mitt Romney endorsement?

Apparently the race between Sharron Angle and Harry Reid in Nevada is too close to call.  One poll stated that one in ten “didn’t like either candidate.”  Presumably as opposed to nine in ten who can’t stand either candidate.

In San Francisco, the Liberty and Freedom Foundation put up a Sarah Palin billboard today at the corner of Market and Castro. What’s next, a Christine O’Donnell sign in front of Good Vibrations?

Don Larsen, who pitched a perfect game in the 1956 World Series, was interviewed today after Roy Halladay’s no-hitter. A little known fact about that game, had Larsen faltered, Jamie Moyer was warming up in the bullpen.

(Actually in all seriousness, add Tim Lincecum and Buster Posey’s ages together, and you only beat Moyer’s age by one)

While it can be hard to be funny, you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to be a comedian. Latest case in point – Ralphie May, arrested for marijuana possession at Guam Airport…. after he went over to pet the drug-sniffing dog.

Baylor’s star guard LaceDarius Dunn was suspended from classes over allegations that he hit his girlfriend during a fight and broke her jaw.

Dunn’s basketball playing friends at other universities were stunned.  At Baylor players actually go to class?