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Guess he didn’t get a rose?

September 11, 2015

Texas Governor Rick Perry has dropped out of the 2016 Presidential Race. Thereby shocking millions of Americans who didn’t realize he was still in it.

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Steelers coach Mike Tomlin was upset about only being able to hear the Patriots radio broadcast over the team’s headsets. The NFL said New England was not to blame. Lather, rinse, repeat. ‪#‎thePatriotscandonowrong‬

Pittsburgh thought about filing a formal complaint then backed down.  Perhaps because they figured it would just get a couple New England clubhouse attendants fired, or perhaps because they figured the NFL would just fine them for annoying the Patriots.

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A Virginia woman was arrested for having sex with her unconscious boyfriend in a parking lot in broad daylight. She claims it was a combination of alcohol and being “in the mood.” And considering he was unconscious, maybe some seriously good Viagra?

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U.C. Berkeley, in their estimated costs to students, says the cost for rent off-campus is $7184 for the academic year. Of course what they don’t say is that the figure means living about 100 miles off campus.

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MLB suspended Joey Votto, 32, two games for his major tantrum Wednesday when the Reds first baseman was denied a time out. He’s appealing the suspension. But. hey, a tantrum?  Maybe Votto should just think of it as a time out.

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Now Gregor ‪#‎Blanco‬ has been diagnosed with a concussion. The 2015 ‪#‎SFGiants‬ at this point don’t need a trainer, they need a witch doctor.

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Meanwhile,Jake ‪#‎Peavy‬ and the Sacramento ‪#‎RiverCats‬ had a really good night against the ‪#‎Padres‬ ‪#‎SFGiants‬

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The Phillies have dismissed GM Ruben Amaro Jr.: Five words: What took them so long?

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Donald Trump now says his insults, this time directed at Carly Fiorina, were made “as an entertainer, because I did the ‘Apprentice.'” So maybe Trump thinks this whole campaign is his new show – “Political Apprentice”?

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Regarding all this controversy on Trump’s purported jab at Carly Fiorina’s looks, guess Carly and her supporters have forgotten her off-mike comment in 2010 about her rival Barbara Boxer – “God what is that hair?’ So yesterday!’

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So amongst the various over-under bets on opening week of the ‪#‎NFL‬ season can you make an over-under on player arrests? ‪#‎NFLKickoff‬

So Aldon Smith, one of the the best pass rushers in the NFL, who’s been arrested 5 times in 3 years, was signed today by the Oakland Raiders. Is anyone surprised?

If Ray Rice hadn’t lost a few steps as an RB he’d surely have offers. Heck, of O.J. Simpson were still a Pro-Bowler HE’D have offers.

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Serious bus to hell time, but hey, if we stop laughing the bad guys win.    And this one could alas be true::

On this awful anniversary of September 11, have to wonder how many more deaths there would have been had it happened now…. as hundreds of people running away from the collapsing towers would have stopped to take selfies.

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Excuses, excuses

September 10, 2015

You know, Hillary Clinton might have done a lot better with this whole email server thing if she said she had just done it to see if Bill was trying to sign up for an Ashley Madison account.

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Bobby Jindal has said a lot of dumb things. But his comment today about Trump isn’t one of them ‪#‎creditwherecreditisdue‬

“But you know why he hasn’t read the Bible? Because he’s not in it.”

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Former NBC News anchor Brian Williams will be back on the air with MSNBC Sept. 22. Can’t wait to hear about what exciting things Williams has been doing during his six-month suspension.

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Little League is changing their age determination to Aug. 31, from the April 30 date it has been since 2005. (Before that it was Aug 1.) Which means kids must be 12 in August to play in the LLWS.

So wonder how many baseball parents will suddenly change their family planning to aim for July and August rather than March and April babies. ‪#‎youthinkiamkidding‬? ‪#‎nojoke‬

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Opening NFL night, So let’s see, we had the Patriots QB who started dating his model wife around the time he got his ex-girlfriend pregnant with their child, and the Steelers QB who has twice been accused of rape. Who was a woman to root against?

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The Warriors’ Draymond Green just donated $3.1 million to his alma mater, Michigan State. $3.1 million?!! At some universities that’s enough to cover a whole year’s salary to all the football team.

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Recently released emails show the Bush White House response to 9-11. Including one just after the first plane hit the North Tower. “Turn on CNN …”

So even Bush and company knew not to turn to Fox for real news.

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Memphis today announced a benefit dinner Dec. 28 to honor former men’s basketball coach John Calipari, then hours later announced they would not be recognizing him. Wouldn’t it have been more apt to say the honors would be vacated?

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R.E.M lead singer Michael Stipe, angry that Trump used the band’s “End of the World” song without permission, referred to the Donald as a “sad, attention grabbing, power-hungry little man.” Wow. If Stipe gets tired of music, he might have a real future in political speech writing.

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Fox just bought a majority stake in National Geographic. Is it more shocking that Fox might believe in the magazine. Or that they might believe in science?

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From Sarah Palin’s Wednesday speech, as noted by Rachel Maddow,

So up there in Alaska, across the way Russia. You know there is a name for this taking advantage of America. There is a Russian name for that. And it is called ‘fortushka.’ And that means Obama’s window of opportunity. So as Obama leads from behind the skirt of his right-hand man, Valerie Jarrett, then it’s up to Congress to close that window. He may propose. You dispose, Congress. You gotta be in it to win it because we want peace. With unapologetic mighty red, white, and blue, will have peace.”

Is this what Sarah meant about “speaking American?”

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From T.C.  “McDonald’s has announced they will be serving eggs from cage-free chickens in the future. However, the workers in the drive-thru lines still have to remain in their cages except for two 15 minute breaks.”

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Trifecta?

September 9, 2015

Donald Trump, Ted Cruz and Sarah Palin hold anti-Iran deal rally in DC. Good thing there wasn’t a bomb or drone strike or any natural disaster that happened while they were together. If they were all killed it would put half the comedy writers in the country out of business.

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Trump, Cruz and Palin walk into a bar.    Okay friends and readers, I am soliciting punchlines!   Have at it.

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George Takei today – “In our country we obey civil laws, not religious laws.” Exactly. And for our forefathers, wasn’t that the whole point?

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Love British understatement: In an email to travel agents, British Airways says of yesterday’s scheduled BA 2276 – “the aircraft, a 777-200, experienced a technical issue as it was preparing for take-off from McCarran International Airport in Las Vegas.”

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Bishop’s Vineyard, a new winery in California, is growing grapes in cemeteries. Guessing the Chardonnay is bone-dry..

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In Connecticut, police pulled over a man allegedly going 112 mph. The driver was heading to court for a speeding ticket. This BOGO craze has clearly gone too far.

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Congrats to Queen Elizabeth 2, who today surpassed Queen Victoria as England’s longest reigning monarch. Assuming her plan at this point is simply to outlive her son.

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Bruno Mars has been invited back for a second Super Bowl halftime performance. But Mars has a long way to go to catch up with those legendary five-time performers, “Up with People.”

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The New England Patriots have asked the NFL to reinstate “Deflategate” clubhouse attendants John Jastremski and Jim McNally. In other words, the balls just deflated themselves. #patriotscandonowrong

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Richard Sherman, on ESPN reports of the Patriots’ systemic cheating. “Like they say, if you didn’t get caught, then it wasn’t cheating.”
Kind of makes you wonder what the Seahawks are up to.

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#‎TimHudson‬, 40. despite last night’s great performance, still plans to retire at end of year. “So young?” responded ‪#‎JamieMoyer‬. ‪#‎SFGiants‬

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Meanwhile, this ‪#‎SFGiants‬ road trip, especially their hitting, turned into a series of remakes of “Night of the Living Dead.”

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Jeb Bush on the new Late Night with Stephen Colbert said “we have to restore a degree of civility in Washington.” And somewhere Obama is thinking “been there, tried that, want the bloody t-shirt?”

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Fortunately, there were no injuries when a fire broke out today at Walt Disney World’s EPCOT. On the bright side, it’s the hottest EPCOT has been in years.

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-Just a thought about Donald Trump’s telling CNN to donate their debate profits to veterans. Veterans?! . Ok, so for Trump does that include alums of his prep school?

(earlier this week Trump basically compared his expensive military prep school to military service.)

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Donald Trump wants CNN to donate $10 million to charity for his participation in the debates. I think all the networks should get together and demand $100 million from Trump for giving him more publicity these days than his “Apprentice” show ever did.

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Now Entertainment Weekly is reporting that Josh Duggar also had accounts on Facebook, Twitter and OK Cupid for meeting women. So now that Kim Davis is “free”, really looking forward to hearing from Mike Huckabee on this one.

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Golden parachuting out of the Friendly Skies?

September 8, 2015

United Airlines has announced that Jeff Smisek has stepped down as CEO, chairman and president effective immediately. United says this is connected to a federal investigation.involving the Port Authority of NY and NJ.
“What a shame, the man has built such a wonderful airline” said absolutely positively no frequent travelers.

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And as the United scandal involves the Port Authority and New Jersey politics, Chris Christie may soon be wishing someone would ask him about Bridgegate.

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Tom Brady in a recent interview said that Deflategate was the “hardest time of his life.” I feel so sorry for him, said nobody outside New England.

(from my friend Alex Kaseberg – “I think it was tough. He aged so much he almost looks like his courtroom sketch.”)

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Apparently plenty of seats are still available for the Mayweather/Berto fight this weekend in Vegas, even though seats are much less expensive than the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight. I think this goes down under the “Fool me once….” category..

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Macy’s says they will close 35 to 40 under-performing stores. Responded most people under 30: “Macy’s has stores?”

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A record 10 teams from the SEC are in college football’s “Top 25” this week. So 10 of the 14 teams are ranked. If nothing else this should be a chance for many players to tackle higher math. . .

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Bryce Harper ripped Nationals fans who left in the 7th inning yesterday. And Dodgers’ players are thinking “In Los Angeles we call fans like that ‘diehards.’

(tonight, as the Nats blew a 7-1 run lead after 6, the fans are thinking “we’re smarter than Harper.”)

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Might be easier, at least faster, these days during the pre-game show to list the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ who AREN’T injured.

‪#‎TimHudson‬ was 2-3 today with a home run. So is he trying to throw down the gauntlet to ‪#‎MadisonBumgarner‬? ‪#‎SFGiants‬

SF Giants pitchers have hit 7 home runs this year.  Only three behind Pablo Sandoval.

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If this was Tim Hudson’s last start in ‪#‎MLB‬, great way to go out. ‪#‎SFGiants‬ ‪#‎classact‬

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Two Texas high school football players have been suspended for hitting a referee during a game Friday night. Waiting for someone to say this wouldn’t have happened if refs were armed.

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Chelsea Clinton, asked about a potential Kanye West run for President in 2020, said it could be “awesome.” Especially if she’s hoping that her mom is running for re-election.

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A judge has ordered Kim Davis released from jail, but told her not to interfere with the granting of licenses by her deputies. Thinking Davis might be too busy anyway to interfere anyway, with all her upcoming talk show and campaign appearances.

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Somehow with all the screaming about persecution and Christianity in this country, I seem to have missed all the calls from religious conservatives for the U.S. to take in at least the Christian Syrian refugees

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Missed connections?

September 8, 2015

(belated post from last week that somehow didn’t post.)

A New Jersey man who butt-dialed 911 and let police listen in on his plans has been indicted on burglary charges. Once again proving that smart phones are no match for stupid people

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Hillary Clinton accused Donald Trump of ‘innuendo, conspiracy theories and defaming people’ And then Trump accused Hillary of hacking to find his secret mission statement.

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The lawyer for Kim Davis is now comparing the Kentucky clerk to Martin Luther King, Jr. and his letter from the Birmingham jail. Uh, except MLK wasn’t about getting more civil rights by denying other people their rights.

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While there have been no major college football upsets in the first weekend, (so far,) it’s alas true for of most of these lightly ranked teams with playoff aspirations that their opening loss will make them “one and done.”

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Some economists believe that this year’s El Niño might cause coffee prices to rise by up to 107 percent. To help consumers, Starbucks is considering a layaway plan.

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Tim Tebow said after the Eagles’ last preseason game “I’m not going to worry about what I can’t control.” Like most of his passes?

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Looks like ‪#‎TimTebow‬ has made the Eagles roster. So maybe God really is a Tebow fan. Either that or He/She really loves comedy writers.

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Donald Trump said that Jeb Bush “should lead by speaking English while in the United States.” And Jeb’s thinking – “Uh, it was never necessary for my brother?”

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An Oregon judge is apparently being investigated by a judicial fitness commission for refusing to perform same-sex marriages on religious grounds. Hmm, since Oregon just legalized marijuana, maybe they should consider simply trying to relax the judge.

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Tom Brady, on the judge’s decision to overturn his suspension, said that while he is happy to be playing ” II am sorry our league had to endure this. I don’t think it has been good for our sport — to a large degree, we have all lost.”

Right, so Brady will just have to console himself with his Super Bowl rings, long-term multi-million dollar contract and super model wife. ‪#‎wehavealllostmyass‬

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ESPN has announced Jessica Mendoza will be replacing Curt Schilling on Sunday Night Baseball for the last weeks of the MLB season. Not actually sure how I feel about this from a free-speech perspective. Never watched Schilling for his politics.

But, for ESPN it’s all about the $$$$. And clearly Mendoza, who is extremely knowledgeable, has been well-received enough that despite misogyny in the sports world and with some sports fans, the network thinks having her on is good for ratings. ‪#‎thetimestheyareachangin‬ ‪#‎yougogirl‬

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From Bill Littlejohn:    “Waze Navigation has signed Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski to be the voice of a GPS app: ‘Customers report, however, that they always seem to end up at a bar or a hospital.’”

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Not working

September 7, 2015

Labor Day brings another threatened government shutdown. So on a day we honor work, we get another reminder from Congress that they don’t.

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A “TipsforJesus” group gave a Utah waitress a $3,000 tip on a $505 bill.  Thinking Jesus would approve a lot more of this sort of thing than protesting other people’s happiness in His name.

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R.I.P. Judy Carne. One of the very best comics I grew up watching. It’s definitely “Sock-it-to-me” time tonight in heaven.

Best Laugh-in Judy Carne skit from my memory as a twisted youth. The show had a constant war with censors. One episode had someone offscreen throwing a ball (don’t remember exact details), let’s say a basketball at her.Then a little later, someone throwing a football at her, then a soccer ball, then a baseball,. And finally after the last time she says to the camera “That’s the fifth time I’ve been balled on this show this week.”
Censors missed it, show got fined. A lot of pre-teens were delighted. ‪#‎thosewerethedays‬

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Just saw a trailer for “Suffragette” So now we know the the answer to the question. “For what film this year will Meryl Streep be nominated for an Oscar?

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Dentist Walter Palmer has emerged from hiding, “If I had known (Cecil) had a name and was important to the country or a study, obviously I wouldn’t have taken it.” And he denied Cecil was dying for 40 hours and was shot to death, saying he tracked the lion “the next day” and killed him with an arrow. So that’s all right then? ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬ ‪#‎douchebag‬

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The Cleveland Browns have suspended offense line coach Andy Moeller for his role in an “unspecified incident.” Who does Moeller think he is? A player?

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A fire has been extinguished in the engine room aboard the Carnival Cruise Line Liberty while it was docked in St. Thomas. No injuries but passengers will not be allowed back on board until tonight. Stand by for the CNN miniseries.

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QB Geno Smith says he won’t file charges against ex-Jets teammate IK Enemkpali for breakjoNing his jaw. Maybe because in a trial the world would find out what Smith did to provoke the punch?

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About 40 people were reportedly injured when a Qatar flight hit turbulence about an hour outside of Manila. So sounds like it’s not just Americans who zone out on the flight attendant request to “when seated keep your seat belt fastened at all times.”

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In Quebec, Canada, doctors can now give prescriptions to patients that are direct instructions on physical activity. In related news, Big Pharma has announced plans to patent exercise.

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All fired up.

September 6, 2015

SF Giants bring Billy Joel to A T and T.   At least it means this September the park saw some big hits.

joel

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Joel went through a lot of his biggest hits. But not, “Only the Good Die Young.”  Maybe they aren’t lyrics you think about with a new born daughter.

Kim Kardashian now has 45 million Instagram followers. “Beam me up Scotty, there’s no intelligent life on this planet.””

BYU beat Nebraska on a last-second Hail Mary. Wait though, at Brigham Young shouldn’t it be a “Hail Joseph” or something?

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Cal 73. Grambling State 14. And at Grambling State the athletic director’s phone is ringing off the hook with requests for games with SEC teams.

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Wow. So the Eagles DID cut Tim Tebow, electing to keep just two quarterbacks – Sam Bradford and Mark Sanchez. So over-under on how many weeks into the season it takes Philly fans to start screaming for Tebow?.

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Tim Tebow has been told once again he is not an NFL quarterback. Although as we will see, the same is true of more than a few quarterbacks who are on NFL rosters.

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Tom Brady Facebook post on Deflategate “I am sorry our league had to endure this.” Uh, he thinks it’s over?

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Over 200 rallied in front of the jail where Kim Davis is being held, demanding the clerk be freed, and talking about obeying God and Jesus and following their consciences etc. Uh, if these folks really have nothing better to do with their time, aren’t there poor families in the state in need of Christian help and charity.

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Stanford certainly didn’t live up to their pre-season billing against Northwestern.  Normally with this level of under performance compared to expectations in Chicago, the Cubs are involved.

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Washington has announced that Cousins and not RGIII will be their starter. Sort of like the Titanic announcing a new captain taking over after hitting the iceberg?

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Ted Cruz: “Those who are persecuting Kim Davis believe that Christians should not serve in public office. Or if Christians do serve in pubic office, they must disregard their religious faith — or be sent to jail.”

Uh, okay, since it’s (still) a free country, shall we substitute “Jewish,” “Buddhist,” “Hindu,” “Muslim” for “Christian” and then does Cruz think the same rules apply?

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Trying to catch the crazy train?

September 3, 2015

John Kasich, who has a reputation for sanity: – “If I become president, I’m going to name it back to Mt. McKinley. This is not something we appreciate or agree with in Ohio.”
Then the Ohio governor added “The reason the mountain was named that way in my understanding is a guy was out there climbing, he saw this big peak, and he wanted to celebrate the achievements of President McKinley, so he named it Mt. McKinley.”
Uh, the guy who named it did so in 1896. When McKinley hadn’t even been ELECTED President yet. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

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So in today’s ruling Judge Berman wrote that “Brady had no notice that such conduct was prohibited, or any reasonable certainty of potential discipline stemming from such conduct The Court concludes that, as a matter of law, no NFL policy or precedent notifies players that they may be disciplined (much less suspended) for general awareness of misconduct by others.”

The Saints called.. They want 2012 back.

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A British study found that cats didn’t suffer from separation anxiety when their owners are gone. Not only that,, the felines didn’t feel the need to post cute human pictures on social media.

(And of course maybe it has nothing to do with separation anxiety.  Maybe cats just don’t like being studied.)

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A poisonous 8 foot long King Cobra snake has escaped from a house in Orlando near Disney World. So all you thrill-seeking tourists, no need to wait in line for the Indiana Jones ride.

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The wife of Redskins GM Scot McCloughan has apologized for tweets implying that an ESPN reporter had exchanged sexual favors for scoops. Well, give Washington credit, they never stop at just being embarrassing ON the field.

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A judge has ordered Kentucky clerk Kim Davis to jail for refusing to issue gay marriage licenses. And the price for Davis’s future speaking fees to conservative groups keeps going up.

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Whatever happens in the GOP primary this Donald Trump-Jeb Bush feud is entertaining.  And so mature.  Too soon to start a pool, on the first to accuse the other with “Liar, liar, pants on fire?”

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Five Rutgers football players were charged yesterday for allegedly assaulting another student in April. They have been suspended from the program. So does it mean the Scarlet Knights are recruiting more than the average number of thugs? Or are the New Brunswick police less accommodating than those, in say, Tallahassee?

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Now Donald Trump has indeed signed a pledge saying he would not run as a third party candidate. But no doubt Trump is thinking “Well, with the Greens, the Libertarians, etc, it would be at least a fifth or sixth party.”

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It’s a funny game. Tonight the San Diego Padres scored as many runs in FIVE innings against the Dodgers bullpen (6), as the SF Giants did this week against the entire Los Angeles pitching staff in 3 games and 32 innings

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Are these people trying to put the Onion out of business? The lawyer for Kim Davis: “Does that mean that if you’re Christian, don’t apply here; if you’re a Jew, you gotta get — what happened in Nazi Germany, what happened there first, they removed the Jews from government public employment, then they stopped patronizing them in their private businesses, then they continued to stigmatize them, then they were the ‘problems,’ then they killed them.” Yes, he said it.

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from T.C.  “UCLA has suspended Ishmael Adams from the football team as he was arrested for robbing a Uber driver. He must be majoring in Rocket Science as Uber only takes payments via credit and debit cards.”

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A mountain of troubles?

September 1, 2015

Donald Trump is now saying he’ll rename “Denali’ back to Mt. McKinley if he’s elected president. And then presumably six months later rename it Mt. Trump.

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So if the appeal of Donald Trump is that he is amusing, not absolutely beholden to a particular party ideology and not afraid to be outspoken, why for President in 2016 can’t we draft Jon Stewart?

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On the subject of netting at ballparks. As best as I can research, there are 30-40 foul balls hit into the stands in MLB per game. And 2430 games a year. (162 times 15.) Total about 73,000-109,000 balls a year. Bloomberg estimates 1700 injuries from foul balls a year, counting anything that needs first aid..

73,000-109,000 – that’s a lot of childhood and adult ball catching potentially dashed because people don’t pay attention….

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So the latest uproar over Hillary’s emails is that her friend Sidney Blumenthal apparently called John Boehner, “lazy, “alcoholic,” “banal and hollow..” Would some of the GOP who are upset about this care to share what they’ve called Clinton and Obama in THEIR emails?”

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#‎Youcannotmakethisstuffup‬ item of the month: In SF, police are still searching for a cyclist who during last week’s Critical Mass smashed a Zipcar driver’s window with a metal bike lock. The suspect was wearing a shirt saying “Non-violence is our strength.”

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The judge in Brady’s Deflategate appeal hearing ‘anticipates’ decision by end of week. “I can’t wait.” Said at this point nobody. ‪#‎enoughalready‬

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So have to wonder, just how low is the unemployment rate in Kentucky that they can’t find a county clerk who actually wants to do their job?

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Matt Bevin, Kentucky’s GOP nominee for Governor, says “I absolutely support her (clerk Kim Davis) willingness to stand on her First Amendment rights” and deny gay couples marriage licenses.
So okay, what happens when some other clerk decides to deny licenses to couples where one or both parties are divorced, or too old to have children, or of different religions?

And what about those who have religious feelings against killing animals with hunting licenses?

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The latest #youcannotmakethisstuff up: Ms. Davis has not only been married four times, she committed adultery – the proof being twins conceived out of wedlock.

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Pope Francis is granting Catholic priests the right to forgive women who have had abortions. Waiting to see the first GOP Presidential candidate to condemn him for being ungodly.

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Chris Christie said last night on The Tonight Show that he is going to “go nuclear” in the next Presidential debate. So let’s see, A “nuclear” Christie vs Trump. The winner? CNN with ratings.

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Jerry Brown signed a bill today that raised the fee for filing a California ballot initiative from $200 to $2,000. The idea is to discourage using the process for making outrageous statements, like proposals for executing gays, or banning the sale of shellfish.
With all due respect, they’re going to need a higher fee..

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From Alex Kaseberg.  “Chicago Cubs’ Jake Arrieta tossed a no-hitter Sunday against the Dodgers. Best no-hitter I’ve seen since the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight.”

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Let’s stay together.

August 31, 2015

I think I’ve got another GOP talking point down: Any Democrat who stays with a cheating husband – like Weiner or Clinton, is involved in a sham marriage for political purposes. Any Republican who stays in such a marriage is just espousing traditional family values.

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If Ohio politicians, including John Boehner, are that upset about President Obama’s renaming of Denali, why don’t they just name the tallest mountain in Ohio after McKinley?

Or failing that, a roller coaster at Cedar Point?

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Donald Trump again has called Anthony Weiner a ‘perv sleazebag’ And who better to know what the term means than a man who has cheated on at least two wives with a succession of increasingly younger women.

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Best airport announcement of the year? From a friend who is flying Southwest via Hobby Airport and waiting for her flight. “Joe Smith, You are in Houston not Dallas. Please get back on the plane.” ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

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Two Southwest Airlines planes clipped wings on the tarmac at Oakland International Airport. Minor damage. No injuries. But Happy Hour for pilots has been canceled. ‪#‎wannagetaway‬

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Ashley Madison says that despite their recent massive hack their number is users is still growing. Maybe they should rename the site “Death Wish.”

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Everett Golson, who transferred from Notre Dame this spring, has now been named the Seminole’s starting quarterback over Sean Maguire. There’s still hope for Maguire to get the job back, although with FSU he can’t expect that Golson would get another suspension for academic reasons

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So a lot of media outlets who won’t show Miley Cyrus’s nipple flash last night at the VMAs had no problem showing the murder of two journalists on air. ‪#‎whatacountry‬ ‪#‎priorities

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Jean Machi got a save for the Red Sox tonight in a 4-3 win over the Yankees. He walked in a run, and left the bases loaded after Gregorius hit a fly ball to the warning trackl in the bottom of the 9th. So Machi may not bring Boston to the playoffs, but he has brought over some good old-fashioned SF Giants torture.

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Ted Cruz is now blaming Obama for the murder of a sheriff’s deputy in Texas. As he’s blamed Obama for the Baltimore riots, encouraging radical Islam, not stopping the shooting at the Muhammad cartoon etc, the 2008 financial crisis, etc.

Maybe it would be quicker for Senator Cruz to come up with a list of things he doesn’t think are the President’s fault?

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Obama apparently will appear on a special episode of the NBC outdoor adventure show Running Wild with Bear Grylls, The President figures drinking his own urine and eating ants has to be more fun than trying to work with Congress.

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Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker, who has slashed social services in the state, says that his plan to plan to invest $250 million in taxpayer dollars in a new basketball arena for the Milwaukee Bucks is “fiscally responsible.”
Maybe Walker has a plan to rent out the arena after the end of the regular season, since the Bucks never use it then.

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The U.S. Supreme Court today ruled against Kim Davis, the Kentucky county clerk who won’t issue same-sex marriage licenses. Wonder if the fact that Clark has allegedly been married four times herself had anything to do with it.

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Girls just wanna have fun?

August 30, 2015

Caitlyn Jenner is interested in dating a man to help her feel like a “normal woman.” Have news for her, in the Kardashian-Jenner clan, there are no normal women.

So will all those in the GOP trying to defund Planned Parenthood also sign a waiver that in case of illness they refuse to be treated with any vaccines or medicines that have come about as a result of fetal tissue research?

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Josh Duggar will now apparently spend six months in a Christian rehab treatment program. Because that worked so well when he was a teenager?

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“Butt dial” has been added to the OED. Some of us are old enough to remember that phrase might just have been an awkward synonym for “booty call.”

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Chris Christie today said we can curb illegal immigration by tracking anyone who enters the country from the time they receive their visa, like a FedEx package.
Spoken like someone who’s never tried to track a lost FedEx package.

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In Chatham, NJ, Jets center Nick Mangold quickly called 911 when he Iheard his car alarm and saw his garage door open. Police were able to get there in time to apprehend suspects thought to be responsible for almost 50 burglaries.
Posting this mostly because it’s nice to see an NFL player featured on the “good” side of an arrest story.

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Sarah Palin and Donald Trump had a love fest interview. Makes sense. Each of them probably thinks the other makes them look a little less crazy.

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A California couple got married in Oregon and had a smoke tent at their wedding, where a “budtender” offered guests a choice of 13 kinds of marijuana. Wonder if the wedding cake was topped with Doritos?

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Rowan County Kentucky Clerk Kim Davis has been refusing to issuing marriage licenses to gay couples and says she objects to same-sex marriage for religious reasons. Now she wants the U.S. Supreme Court to grant her “asylum for her conscience.”
So, okay, if she’s that religious about marriage presume Ms. Clark also refuses licenses to couples sharing the same address (living in sin), those who have been married before, and those won’t swear an oath attesting to virginity?

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The Raiders waived safety Jonathan Dowling today, for what they say were “maturity issues.’ Over-under on how long until Dowling gets offered a contract by the Redskins?

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Stalled.

August 27, 2015

A new study found that Washington, D.C. has the worst traffic in the entire U.S. Wonder if that counts the gridlock inside the Capitol building?

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Facebook on Monday had one billion users in a single day. Wow. That’s means at least 500 million cat pictures.

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In Texas, the Health and Human Services Commission announced they are going ahead with $100 million in cuts to a therapy program for poor and disabled children. Three words: Pro-life my ass.

More on the Texas upcoming $100 million cut to a therapy program for poor and disabled children. Do they figure at least these kids will grow up in into adults with the right to be armed?

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In the Little League World Series, California scored 3 runs in the top of the 1st, Texas had a grand slam in the bottom of the inning. And every current and former Little League parent just sighs, nods, and thinks “out of pitching.” ‪#‎thosewerethedays‬

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So I think I’ve figured it out; the way for the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ to beat the ‪#‎ChicagoCubs‬ was to put half their team on the disabled list.

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Okay, how adorable is SF Giants rookie Kelby Tomlinson? The kid looks like he could play a teenage Clark Kent. Got his 1st MLB home run and it was a grand slam: “It was pretty crazy. Everybody got up and started clapping for me. I’d never experienced anything like that. It’s pretty special.”

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Madison Bumgarner, 6 innings, 1 ER, 12Ks. Oh yeah, and one infield hit. Guess which he’s going to want to talk about? ‪#‎SFGiants‬

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United Airlines sent out an email to its Mileage Plus members. 50,000 bonus miles when you purchase or lease a new Mercedes S-class sedan. Uh, thinking if you can afford a Mercedes, you can probably afford not to care about frequent flier miles.

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Steelers WR Martavis Bryant has been suspended 4 games by the NFL for violating the league’s substance abuse policy. And Pittsburgh fans are thinking “Well, at least he didn’t rape anyone or kill any dogs.

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Going back to August 14, the Cincinnati Reds have won exactly ONE game, and that an August 24 make-up game from a rain out against Detroit. 1-12. If they’re going to give up on the season maybe they should offer ticket holders their money back?

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From Marc Ragovin:  “I’m not saying the Phillies are bad, but when they took the field in the top of the first the other day, Manager Pete Mackanin immediately called for a challenge.”

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An appeal hearing for Marshawn Lynch over his $75,000 fine for not talking to the media in 2014 has apparently been canceled, What, did Lynch figure out the hearing would actually require talking?

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Two women on a JetBlue flight from Jamaica to JFK were arrested after they got into a brawl upon landing involving a razor and pepper spray. So these gals got both a razor and pepper spray on the plane. But I’ll bet security confiscated plenty of bottled water.

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Blowing in the wind.

August 26, 2015

Seriously, it is getting REALLY old in this country when the response is “Did you hear about the mass shooting? And the response is “Which one?”

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Can we make a deal here with some of the Presidential candidates? We will considering tweaking the 14th Amendment if they will consider tweaking the 2nd.

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The man who shot and killed a Virginia news crew on air has died of his self-inflicted gunshot injuries. Once again, why can’t these a**holes who plan a murder-suicide reverse the order?

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#‎JoshDuggar‬ has announced he has checked into rehab. So congrats to all those who had August 26 in the pool.

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Bruce Springsteen’s “Born to Run” is now celebrating its 40th anniversary. So now they’re riding “through the mansions of glory in suicide machines” with their left blinker on.

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The musical “Rent:” will return to New York City this fall for it’s 20th anniversary. Not sure of ticket prices but still might be the only Rent most young people in NY can now afford.

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The Steelers have signed Michael Vick as a backup QB to Ben Rothlisberger. Wow. Dog killing and alleged rape. Where’s a good NFL bounty program when you really need one?

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#‎USC‬ coach ‪#‎SteveSarkisian‬ has banned parents from practice. What, is he afraid they will make him wash his mouth out with soap?

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President Obama will be in New Orleans tomorrow, near the anniversary of Katrina. Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal – “I understand that your emphasis in New Orleans will – rightly – be an economic development, the temptation to stray into climate change politics should be resisted.”

Right, because no one in the city cares about weather.

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Junior Gallette, released by the New Orleans Saints after two alleged domestic violence incidents, and signed by Washington, has apparently torn his Achilles tendon. Sometimes Roger Goodell has nothing on that mean bitch, karma.

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Some stories almost don’t need a punchline. The NYPD is looking for officers to volunteer for their “newly formed Times Square unit,” in large part because of the increasing numbers of topless women there. Chief James O’Neil – “Times Square is an important piece of real estate in New York City. We have to pay attention to what goes on there.”

Hope the number of volunteers didn’t crash the NYPD server.

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When ball hit straight in air up falls between home & pitcher’s mound for 2B hit time for ‪#‎MLB‬ to introduce a “team error” ‪#‎SFGiants‬ ‪#‎Cubs‬

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Meanwhile, SF Giants have starting shortstop (Crawford), second baseman (Panik)) both centerfielder (Pagan-Blanco) and right fielder(Pence) injured. The Chicago Cubs have been batting their pitcher 8th. With Madison Bumgarner pitching tomorrow have to figure he should bat at least 5th.

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So Wednesday in Santa Clara SF 49ers LB Ahmad Brooks was charged with misdemeanor sexual battery at the same time Ray McDonald was indicted for rape. Since 2012, the Niners now have had 7 players with a NFL-high total of 12 arrests. Well, at least they lead the league in something.

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The horror.

August 26, 2015

Now Fox News chair & CEO Roger Ailes is blasting Trump for his “surprise and unprovoked attack on Megyn Kelly.”

Oh, this awful Republican on Republican violence..

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Donald Trump is attacking Megyn Kelly AGAIN on Twitter, saying she is “really off her game” after her vacation, and he liked “The Kelly File much better without @megynkelly. Perhaps she could take another eleven day unscheduled vacation! ”

Are we sure the Donald hasn’t confused Kelly with one of his ex-wives?

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Benches cleared tonight in New York when the Astros’ Carlos Gomez told the Yankees’ dugout to”shut up,” Not sure how Houston might do in the post season, but Gomez might be on his way to becoming most Americans’ favorite player.

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Sad to say but with all the expensive contracts the Dodgers picked up at the trade deadline the Giants’ would have probably been better off if they had somehow worked out a deal with LA for Matt Cain.

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Detroit Lions’ safety, Glover Quin, when asked about the Packers’ Jordy Nelson’s season-ending injury, included in his answer “God had meant for Jordy to be hurt.”

And somewhere God is thinking “How ridiculous. As if I care about football until after the World Series.”

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USC coach Steve Sarkasian said he had mixed alcohol and medications before his profane rant at last week’s “Salute to Troy.”

Sarkisian said he didn’t have a drinking problem but that through AD Pat Haden and “through the university, I’m going to find that out. I’m going to go to treatment. I’m going to deal with it.” Translation, it was go into treatment or be fired.

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So ESPN’s Curt Schilling is apologizing today for a tweet he sent out this morning (and then deleted) with a meme that compared Muslims to Nazis.
Only person at the network who has to be happy about this is Cris Carter.

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Meanwhile, here’s a thought on how to reduce injuries at MLB parks: If you want to pay more attention to your phone or your friends than the game, don’t buy seats near the field.

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So I think I’ve got the GOP talking points straight: The more than doubling of the stock market since President Obama took office is something that had nothing to do with him, but the recent drops are all his fault….

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South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley and Kansas Governor Sam Brownback wrote a letter to the Obama administration threatening to sue if detainees from Guantanamo Bay, are brought to military installations in their states.

Then they no doubt lambasted the President for not making good on his promise to close Guantanamo down.

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Donald Trump says he is “never eating Oreos again” after the company announced it’s moving a factory to Mexico.

Hands up for all those who think Trump has ever eaten an Oreo in his adult life.

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School daze

August 24, 2015

Apparently a number of incoming Duke freshman refused to read the graphic novel “Fun Home” which was part of their summer reading list, saying the sexuality conflicted with their Christian beliefs.

And I’m sure all of those young men and women will be home studying this fall rather than attending fraternity parties.

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The Sigma Nu fraternity at Old Dominion has been suspended after posting banners on their house during Freshman orientation.  “ROwdy anD Fun, hope your baby girl is ready for a good time.”   “Freshman daughter drop off”  and “Go ahead and drop Mom off too.’    Are they being suspended for being offensive, or for being stupid enough to put up the banners, in a social media age, before parents had even left?

(My friend Dean Harpster comments –  “In this day and age, I think we should just be thankful they spelled everything right.”)

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USC has apparently just banned alcohol from their football locker room. Wait?! USC HAD alcohol in their locker room?! Your move, SEC.

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A number of USC players are reportedly unconcerned about not having booze in the locker room any more. As they think the Trojans always played better on grass.

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Australian former rugby star Jarryd Hayne looks likely to make the SF 49ers roster after an impressive pre-season game tonight. How long until Donald Trump complains about yet another immigrant taking a job from Americans

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The Green Bay Packers announced that Jordy Nelson’s knee injury on Sunday will be season-ending. So who says NFL pre-season games are meaningless?

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Consumer Reports says that tests show conventional ground beef is twice as likely as “sustainably sourced ground beef” to contain antibiotic-resistant bacteria. Well, Taco Bell patrons are safe. ‪#‎noactualbeef‬

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So some Republicans are both mocking Obama for wasting fuel by flying 14,000 miles on a climate change tour and still saying there is no climate change problem. ‪#‎pickaside‬

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North Korea and South Korea have reacted an agreement to de-escalate tensions and North Korea says it “regrets” that South Korean soldiers were injured by landmines. Can we blame Obama? Or Dennis Rodman?

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The NFL and ESPN have condemned comments that just came to light from analyst Cris Carter to players at the 2014 NFL Rookie Symposium – saying to have a “fall guy in your crew” in case you get into trouble.
Because Carter was wrong, or because he should have said it to more players?.

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American runner Emily Huddle was about to win the Bronze medal at the 10,000 metre race World Championship in Beijing, when she started celebrating one step too soon and was passed by a teammate. On the brighter side, Huddle probably got a consolation phone call from Leon Lett.

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FSU’s Dalvin Cook, was found not guilty on a misdemeanor battery charge for allegedly punching a woman in the face outside a Tallahassee bar this June. Last October the Seminoles’ star freshman RB was charged with criminal mischief after a BB gun incident, and in November was cited by Animal Services after chaining three puppies together by the neck.

Cook remains suspended but after the acquittal coach Jimbo Fisher will no doubt try to teach the young man a lesson by reinstating him only after the first quarter against Texas State.

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Good men (and women) without a gun.

August 22, 2015

Forget armed security guards. Maybe we just need to offer free train travel at all times to off-duty U.S. military members. ‪#‎Seriously‬

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Well, at least Ted Cruz is consistent. He joked about Joe Biden a few days after his son Beau died, and attacked Jimmy Carter’s administration as “failed,” “feckless” and “naive” yesterday. Part of Cruz’s ‪#‎noshredofhumandecencyleftbehind‬ policy.

Wasn’t that long ago when Matt Cain threw a perfect game against Houston & some sniffed “Well, it’s only the ‪#‎Astros‬.” Go Stros! ‪#‎BeatLA‬

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If Donald Trump REALLY cared about illegal immigration as opposed to just getting attention, why doesn’t he start a crackdown to find and fire undocumented workers at his hotels and construction sites? He’s as much of a hypocrite on the subject as the Duggars are about sex.

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Donald Trump got 30,000 people to show up at a football stadium in Alabama for a speech. And they said it couldn’t be done – a whiter crowd than NASCAR.

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A woman was taken to the hospital after being hit in the head by a foul ball yesterday at Comerica Field She is reportedly “alert and conscious.” Justin Verlander later took to Twitter to tell MLB to put up protective netting around the field “@MLB should make changes before it’s too late.”

But people get in accidents driving to the field too, and some number of them probably have heart attacks after eating ballpark food. Maybe we should just tell the fans not to come? ‪#‎fanslovecatchingballs‬

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Adrian Peterson tonight. “I’m the LeBron” of NFL. And James is thinking, well, I CAN beat that with a stick.

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In Petaluma, California, police say a couple used a stolen credit card to purchase 15 $1,000 gift cards at Target. So they got away with it because $16,000 worth of gift cards would have been suspicious?

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After the sheriff’s office posted his name as one of their most-wanted, a 21-year-old man, Logan Hale, started taunting them on Facebook with a “Finally Free” screen name, and posts like “Hello, Here I am.” and “deputies continue to look for me but are frustrated that I am unable to be located.”

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Apparently Hale should have spent less time posting and more time hiding. They caught him after less than a week. And you guessed it, Florida.

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A high school football game in South Bend was called with 2.54 remaining in the first half following a brawl which required police intervention. So do all these kids aspire to play for the Fighting Irish?

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So no one lives forever, but isn’t it lovely to think that Jimmy Carter has a chance of outliving the guinea worm. ‪#‎bestexpresidentever‬

(a link for the uninitiated –  http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3207538/Jimmy-Carter-wants-Guinea-worm-disease-eradicated-death.html)

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‘From T.C.   Jameis Winston says he has a photographic memory: “Guess it ran out of film the day the QB forgot to pay for his crab legs and was arrested for shoplifting.

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No trophies wanted for this participation.

August 21, 2015

And the first nomination for the best creative excuse for an Ashley Madison account goes to Jason Dore, who is the GOP Executive Director in Louisiana.  He told a New Orleans paper he created this account to do “opposition research.”

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“#‎Madbum‬ to ‪#‎MarlonByrd‬. “Welcome to San Francisco, just don’t get any ideas about being the #1 power hitter in the clubhouse ‪#‎SFGiants‬

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The oldest ever message in a bottle, tossed into the water in the early 1900s, has finally washed up on a German Island. Along with the message the bottle contained a Jamie Moyer rookie card.

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Chase Utley, Starlin Castro, Yadier Molina.. three of a long list of MLB players this year who have fewer home runs than Madison Bumgarner. (‪#‎Madbum‬ tonight hit his 5th.)

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So for all the expensive contracts the LA Dodgers picked up in trade this season, apparently one they missed for was for a guy making the $512.500 MLB minimum – Mike Fiers. ‪#‎nohitter‬

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Megan Fox has filed for divorce. Women think – “that’s sad.” Men think – “she’s available!”

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Increasing controversy over the topless painted women in Times Square. Not sure what will happen in the long term. But short term… guessing a lot more visitors to Times Square.

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North Korea says “We’re in a ‘quasi-state of war’ .” Makes sense, North Korea is kind of a “quasi-state.”

Oops, Netflix announced that workers were going to get up to a year of paid maternity-paternity leave. Now it comes out that the 450 employees in their DVD division are excluded. Shocking. Netflix still HAS a DVD division?!

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And airlines wonder why we don’t trust them. A 11ami flight from SF to Honolulu is over an hour late today because of a “late arriving aircraft.” Fair enough. Except that late flight, from Chicago, was DUE to arrive at SFO at 1134am.

United couldn’t just say, “we swapped planes because something broke or we needed a plane elsewhere?” Nah, that would be too straightforward.

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Former USC QB Ricky Town, who has chosen to transfer to Arkansas, told ESPN he left in part because of the Trojans’ “offensive system.” Probably more precisely because he wasn’t a part of it.

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Bill Littlejohn, regarding Bengals DB Pacman Jones saying he’d have $100 million if not for suspensions: “He’d have $200 million if not for strip clubs.”

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Shotgun divorces?

August 20, 2015

Three of the top 20 cities in the world with the most Ashley Madison accounts are in Texas, (Houston, San Antonio and Dallas.) Well, this could get interesting. As most of their spouses are likely to be armed.

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Investigators are recommending filing manslaughter charges against Caitlyn Jenner for that fatal car crash in February. Her defense no doubt – “I’m a changed person now.”

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The Pentagon is looking for sites in U.S. to place Gitmo detainees. I guess Florida would be cruel and unusual punishment?

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Jimmy Carter announced he will undergo radiation treatment after cancer spots were found on his brain, but he is optimistic will extend his life. Carter didn’t have the option some other politicians do, which is to tell doctors to remove their brain because they aren’t using it.

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Apparently tens of thousands of Ashley Madison accounts are .gov addresses. Who knew so many government workers were capable of multitasking?

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Josh Duggar: “I have been the biggest hypocrite ever. While espousing faith and family values, I have secretly over the last several years been viewing pornography on the internet and this became a secret addiction and I became unfaithful to my wife.”

A hypocrite yes. Biggest ever? Once again Josh is guilty of extreme narcissism. ‪#‎hesgotsomecompetitioninWashington‬

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Josh Duggar posted an open apology online and then edited it to take out mention of a porn addiction and his apology for molesting girls as a teenager. Guess Josh REALLY hasn’t learned yet, what’s on the internet stays FOREVER on the internet.

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A federal appeals court ruled that former Virginia governor Bob McDonnell must report to prison while he asks the U.S. Supreme Court to reverse his convictions. And McDonnell is thinking “Damn, I should have run for office in Louisiana.”

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As Jared Fogle awaits sentencing for his child porn plea bargain he been banned from computers with internet, must stay away from children, and is not allowed to own a gun. Waiting for the NRA to protest over that last one.

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Aaron Hernandez has been involved in another prison fight. Forget whether the former Patriots star will ever get out of jail or not, the bus to hell question of the night is, “so would he be a good pick for a 2016 death lotto?”

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New Red Sox GM “Dave Dombrowski – “I’m not here to blow up the operation.” And Boston fans are thinking “Hasn’t the current team accomplished that already?”

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RGIII looked overwhelmed today and ended up with a concussion. But sports and politics often have a lot in common – as in do we really expect any better from any much touted young man who goes to Washington?.

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What’s in a name?

August 19, 2015

My best startup idea of the month. (If only I could code) : A company that can fabricate “proof’ of identify theft that resulted in a hacker signing up under your name at Ashley Madison.

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So the first big name in the Ashley Madison breach is….. Josh Duggar?!   Karma is not only a mean bitch, she apparently really doesn’t like hypocrites.

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Mike Huckabee, May 22, “No one needs to defend Josh’s actions as a teenager, but the fact that he confessed his sins to those he harmed, sought help, and has gone forward to live a responsible and circumspect life as an adult is testament to his family’s authenticity and humility.”
Any fellow bus-to-hell riders looking forward to Huckabee’s next statement on the Duggars?

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In Oklahoma, a member of a self-appointed group of men  guarding a “Muslim-free” gun shop and range accidentally shot himself  in the arm Tuesday.  Once again Darwin is thinking “missed it by THAT much.”
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As the Dodgers’ payroll continues to sky rocket this season, have to wonder, does ownership have enough money in reserve to give all the players participation trophies?

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Regarding the ‪#‎Dodgers‬‘ acquisition of ‪#‎ChaseUtley‬? Are they hoping he can help out their bullpen?
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And with Utley, who has a $15 million contract, the Dodgers will pay about $2 million just to rent him for six weeks.. Even the Yankees are thinking “Jeez, show a little financial restraint.”
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In Florida, authorities say a large sinkhole that swallowed a man in 2013 has reopened. Can we send George Zimmerman to investigate?

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A Massachusetts employee of Wild Oaks Markets, a smaller Whole Foods competitor, is charged with calling in a fake bomb threat so she could leave work early. A bomb threat?! Was that really necessary? At these places she might have been able to close down the store by alleging something like an excess of gluten.

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New York City mayor Bill De Blasio says that topless Times Square performers need to go. Some of the mayor’s opponents will no doubt say it’s because De Blasio doesn’t want any competition as the biggest boob in New York.

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Finally, actual practical advice instead of a joke: Took me too long to learn this, but when you get a really stupid airline, hotel, or other customer service representative on the phone, better not to argue with them, simply say “sorry, I have to take this other call” and hang up.

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In the “cheer up, it could be worse” department; a few months ago executives at Subway figured their worst problem was declining sales because of decreased customer satisfaction with their food.

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Police were called to a Niagara Falls hotel yesterday morning when a baby ended up locked in the hotel safe. The baby was freed and was “alert and crying.” Maybe that’s the last time the family takes advantage of a discounted babysitting offer?

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From Gary M.  after I made fun of worries about Madison Bumgarner getting hurt pinch hitting “As long as he doesn’t wash Jeff Kent’s truck, he should be OK.”

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Beyond borders.

August 18, 2015

So Donald Trump’s latest complaint is about H-1B visas, which he claims result in foreigners taking jobs away from minorities and women. Kind of a ballsy statement from someone who couldn’t find someone American-born for two of his three marriages.

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Yes, Donald Trump seems to be doing well But not a single GOP primary vote has been cast. So all of this circus is basically based on a relatively small number of people who don’t feel like hanging up on pollsters?

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The SF 49ers will lower beer prices from $10.25 to $10 this year, largely to save the time required for workers to dispense change in quarters. And then no doubt next year they will raise the price to at least $12.

The FDA has approved the world’s first pill to boost women’s libido. Is it covered in diamonds?

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Apparently hackers have posted stolen data from ‪#‎AshleyMadison‬. Wonder what the objective of their plan was? ‪#‎nodivorcelawyerleftbehind‬?

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So with the release of the Ashley Madison data, is it too soon to start a pool on the over-under of politicians who may suddenly resign to spend time with their families?

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SF Giants have a number of pitchers on the DL, plus starting CF Pagan, LF Aoki, and 2nd baseman Panik. Now Hunter Pence is going on the DL for a strained oblique.

The team recently did a promo spoofing Full House. Maybe the House they should have been referencing was Gregory.

#‎Madbum‬ for ‪#‎SFGIants‬ DH. That is all.

(he pinch hit in the 7th, got a single, scored the Giants 2nd run in a 2-0 games.  After apparently blowing the opposing pitcher’s mind.)

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Give me a break, commentators talking about the injury risk Bruce Bochy shouldn’t have taken by letting Madison Bumgarner pinch hit. Uh, as we have seen, pitchers get hurt throwing, fielding, falling down steps, falling out of bed, getting sandwiches, etc….

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49ers wide receiver Jerome Simpson’s has now been suspended six game for violating the league’s substance abuse policy, his third suspension since 2012. It’s all part of the NFL’s “10 strikes and you’re out policy.”

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Tom Brady will attend a second hearing on his suspension. If he can’t get the number of games reduced the Patriots QB is at least hoping for a better sketch?

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Oops, now Brady will not attended the hearings in New York after talks stalled between him and the NFL. Both sides are reportedly feeling a bit deflated.

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George Zimmerman is selling $50 prints of a Confederate flag painting he did at ‘Muslim free’ gun store in Florida. Where’s a hunting dentist when you really need one?

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The mayor of Venice, Italy, ban children’s books featuring gay couples from local schools, sparking a social media war with Elton John, who called him “boorishly bigoted. The mayor has retweeted messages from supporters attacking Elton, like “we’re protecting our children from people like you.”

Well, I sure hope these protective parents make sure their kids NEVER see the “Lion King.”

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