A tall order?

Posted August 5, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
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There are now rumors that Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz is thinking of running for President. No word yet on a timetable, as Schultz knows it’s a venti decision.

–skeeter

For SF Giants fans who really miss Pablo Sandoval, rookie Matt Duffy does have this cat.  Skeeter. Not photoshopped.   Maybe SF Giants fans need Skeeter hats?

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Shelby Tomlinson and Matt Duffy apparently were housemates at AA Richmond last year.  The two of them together might have equaled one Panda.

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Kobe Bryant says the Lakers “absolutely” can make the playoffs this year. The NBA playoffs? Or the NCAA tournament?

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CVS says they will no longer include Viagra in its list of drug insurance benefits. The drugstore chain presumably thought it it wasn’t a hard decision.

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Bill GM Doug Whaley said that Buffalo is “almost in quarterback purgatory” because the team do not have a franchise quarterback. And Jets fans after the last few years are thinking “Hmm, purgatory is a step up from hell.”

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Some outrage over a hospital picture of Bobbi Kristina being on the cover of the National Enquirer. Alas probably the biggest outrage from competing media who didn’t get the photo.

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Whole Foods has pulled $5.99 bottles of “asparagus water” from the shelves of a store in California, saying the items were a mistake. Nope, the mistake would have been actually buying the water.

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So Carly Fiorina, despite being the only woman running for the GOP presidential nomination, is polling about 1% and will not be eligible for the first debate. 1%? Who knew most of the Republican electorate knows someone who worked at Hewlett Packard?

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Teachers unions are demanding an apology after Chris Christie said they deserve “a punch in the face.” In the N.J. Governor’s defense, maybe people will believe him if he says he was talking about punch and cookies.

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A U.S.Circuit Court of Appeals struck down a Texas law requiring residents to show ID before voting, saying it violates the Voting Rights Act. They’ll never please everyone, but maybe Texas could just write a law with the exact same requirements to vote as to buy a gun?

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So the man who was shot and killed by police in a Nashville theater after attacking patrons, apparently had only been able to obtain pepper spray, a hatchet, and an air gun. So where’s the NRA on this one? ‪#‎Ifonlyhehadbeenarmed‬

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From Bill Littlejohn “Yasiel Puig credits videogames with helping to end his slump.  Although fellow Dodgers are complaining about him flipping the joystick.”

Comments: 1 Comment

It’s not easy being green in a rainbow?

Posted August 4, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
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Kermit the Frog has announced a decision to split with his partner Miss Piggy. Wow. This legalization of Itgay marriage is destroying relationships faster than we thought.

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Jeb Bush “”I’m not sure we need a half-billion dollars for women’s health issues.” Yeah, Jeb, you’re right. We need a lot more. ‪#‎clueless‬

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So Fox News has picked their top 10 for the first debate. And Rick Perry is the 11th man. So did those glasses not make him look smart enough?. Or did they make him look too smart for GOP primary voters?

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Joe Biden’s sister on his possible run for the Presidency in 2016. “He’ll decide when he decides.” And as anyone who’s ever heard Joe speak knows, Biden doesn’t do ANYTHING quickly.

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AT&T reporting widespread cellphone and internet outages in the Southeast Tuesday. The horror! Many teenagers and millennials were forced actually to talk to each other.

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Donald Trump now says he supports shutting down the government as a way to defund Planned Parenthood. Yeah, well he can talk, Trump already had that furry thing that lives on his head spayed.-

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Chris Christie had a New Hampshire town hall today in Manchester, choosing to locate it at Blake’s Restaurant & Creamery, a long-time local favorite featuring premium ice cream. Well, of course he did.

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Donald Trump is now insisting that not only will he build a wall at the Mexican border, he will get Mexico to pay for it. The Donald seems pretty sure he can order other countries around.  But beginning to get a sense this man has never watched C-Span.

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A 21 year old Florida man tried to rob a small church he occasionally attended with his parents during the sermon. The man pointed a BB gun at the pastor’s mother but was overpowered by fellow parishioners and arrested.

Said the Pastor – “Why did it happen? We’re targets. The whole mentality about Christianity has radically shifted.”

Or maybe because the whole mentality about mental health has shifted to “if it ain’t broke to the point of catastrophe, don’t fix it.”

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A KKK member attended a Confederate Flag rally in Georgia wearing FUBU shoes (FUBU is a company created in 1992 by four African American entrepreneurs in NY to encourage black enterprise.) Irony, another of those commie-pinko concepts.

#‎SFGiants‬ are still a long shot to repeat as World Champions, but tonight, down 3-2 after blowing a 2-1 lead in the 7th, after blowing a 6-0 lead last night, was one of those vampire games. ‪#‎refusetodie‬

Comments: 2 Comments

Not so hot?

Posted August 3, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
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A new study says coffee is good for your brain.
Then why doesn’t it tell your brain not to pay $5 for a cup of it?

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Chris Christie dismissed Donald Trump today, and added “You’re telling me it wasn’t this weird when Herman Cain was winning nationally four years ago or Michele Bachman was winning nationally? I mean, this happens.”

Not sure how many GOP voters are tuning in Thursday, but it’s beginning to look like “must-see TV’ for comedy writers and Democrats.

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Eleanor Roosevelt said “Do each day one thing that scares you.” Hmm.   Take two cats by myself to the vet for their annual check-up….  I’m good for today.

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You know, it’s just a hunch. But guessing if I don’t “sign” one of the many birthday cards being pushed by various Democratic groups online for the President, that Barack really isn’t going to miss seeing my name.

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Washington has signed Junior Gallette, released by the Saints over off-field issues and domestic violence allegation. GM Scot McCloughan “The decision was made because we really believe he’s a Redskin and that’s why I signed him.”

“Really believe he’s a Redskin?”   Yeah, that I concur with. Let this year’s circus begin.

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Four home runs for ‪#‎SFGiants‬ in first four innings. And ‪Madison Bumgarner was no doubt bouncing up & down in dugout “Can I pinch hit, can I, can I?”

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Is it just me or is Santiago Casilla starting to remind us more and more of Armando Benitez ‪#‎SFGiants‬

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Delta Airlines says they will ban Big Game trophies. So they’ll still be able to fly the Cubs.

(substitute Maple Leafs, Lions or any team of your choosing.)

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Some hunters are defending big game hunts in Africa as essential to conservation. MAYBE, though the idea that you need to shoot anything more than a picture of a big cat makes me personally ill.

But come on, folks. Hunting by luring animals out of a protected area is like taking a rifle to the zoo. And regarding “”ethical, fair-chase safaris,” uh, it’s a fair-chase only if the lion has a gun too.

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So after the controversial edited videos involving fetal tissue, the GOP tried again today to shut down Planned Parenthood, the nation’s largest provider of family planning services. And of course as part of their pro-life platform Republicans also tried to increase funding to help poor women and children…. Oh wait, never mind.

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So while we’re ranting. I think I’ve figured out the agenda for some of these GOP men. 1. Having sex is only a right if you can afford to take care of a child from an unplanned pregnancy. 2. Having a gun is a right, period.

Comments: 1 Comment

All downhill from here.

Posted August 2, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

American Pharoah today won the $1.75 million Haskell Invitational at Monmouth Park his first race since winning the Belmont. Nice job, but what a comedown, from the Triple Crown to…. New Jersey?

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The benches cleared today in both the Blue Jays-Royals and Pirates-Reds games. Following a similar incident Friday with the Giants and Rangers. No punches thrown at any time but MLB has to be wondering, do they try to come up with penalties to eliminate future near-brawls, or encouragement of them to increase TV ratings.

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A video purported shows Cowboys’ WR Dez Bryant fighting with his teammate Tyler Patmon. Well, training camp hasn’t even finished yet and the Dallas circus appears to be in mid-season form.

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Christopher Green has the best line on the concept of hunting being a sport: “It’s only a sport if there’s a chance you can lose.”

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So when the ‪#‎Angels‬ play the ‪#‎Dodgers‬ do both sides scream ‪#‎BeatLA‬“?

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NY Times is reporting that for the 2016 Presidential race “just 130 or so families and their businesses provided more than half the money raised through June by Republican candidates and their super PACs.” Over $300 million so far. Wonder how many of those millions are being spent to convince voters that those candidates are focused on average Americans.

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So the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ win 9-7 in a game started by Cole Hamels? And then have 8 1/3 scoreless two-hit innings thrown against them by Martin Perez, who came in with a 10.50 ERA and just gave up 9 runs in an INNING to the Yankees. ‪#‎thatsbaseball‬

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Jessica Alba’s “The Honest Company” is now facing criticism over their “Honest 30 SPF Sunscreen,” as consumers are saying it doesn’t work. So along with all the nasty chemicals the company left out of their product, did they also leave out those that actually screen the sun?

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Donald Trump says he wants to be himself during Thursday’s first nationally televised debate. “Oh please oh please,” responded both the Democratic party and advertisers who have bought commercials for the debate. ‪#‎ratings‬

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The Buffalo Bills have suspended offensive line coach Aaron Kromer for six games without pay after Kromer and his son were accused of battery in a July incident over beach chairs. The coach allegedly punched a boy in the face and threatened to kill his family, although charges were dropped this week.
The NFL message is clear, if you commit violence. you’d better be a damn good player to get a reduced suspension or a second chance.

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The makers of Kraft Cheese have recalled 36,000 cases of Kraft Singles over a potential choking hazard with a “thin strip of the individual packaging film (that) may remain adhered to the slice after the wrapper has been removed.” As opposed to the plastic slices themselves?

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TC, on  Red Sox third baseman Pablo Sandoval: “If Panda gets any bigger, Greenpeace will be trying to save him.”

Comments: 5 Comments

Bounce back.

Posted August 2, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
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San Francisco has put a substance on some walls that not only is urine-resistant, it shoots the liquid right back where it came from. Shame there isn’t some equivalent substance that would work on arrows with lions.
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Mixed stories today, though possible good news in the end? Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead. But Jericho the lion may still be alive.
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Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton has been indicted on multiple felony charges, following upon Gov. Rick Perry’s own indictment in 2014. If this keeps up, Illinois and Louisiana are going to be jealous.
Do I get points for gender equality if I am equally indifferent to MMA even if a woman like Ronda Rousey is involved?
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Boston Red Sox president and Larry Lucchino, whose contract was going to expire at the end of the year, is leaving the team. And season ticket holders are thinking “no fair, how come he gets to leave and we don’t?”
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Great that the Royals and Astros have been playing well enough to be buyers at the trade deadline. And not like most Americans knew any names on the teams anyway.
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Business Insider is reporting that Donald Trump has fired a senior adviser who published “many racist and otherwise offensive Facebook posts”  So did the Donald fire the guy because he thought the posts were wrong, or because Trump didn’t like the competition.
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SF Giants manager Bruce Bochy used Angel Pagan as the DH and wouldn’t let Madison Bumgarner hit Friday night in Texas. Maybe that’s why Madbum had an off-night?
Meanwhile, on Saturday night, Giants pulled out a 9-7 win and made perhaps a few teams happy they didn’t give away the store to trade for Cole Hamels.
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In Ontario, Canada Saturday there was a “Bare With Us” rally about women’s right to go topless. And in the U.S. millions of men who might not be in favor of universal healthcare or gun control are thinking, maybe those Canadians are onto something.

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So, okay, I get the need for some hunting to “cull the herds” and I get eating what you kill, even I want no part of it personally.

But when these folks brag about their great kills – uh, let’s see, you have a gun, the animals have nothing. Not exactly a fair fight. ‪#‎compensation‬?

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From Marc Ragovin “I beg your pardon. Did you just say Lynn Anderson died? (just another reason why I am going straight to hell)”

Well, you got to figure her funeral will be enough roses for a serious garden.

Comments: 1 Comment

No cash and carry

Posted July 31, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
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Rumors were flying that the SD Padres were negotiating with the Boston Red Sox over Pablo Sandoval. Guess that deal collapsed of its own weight?

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The Indians have traded relief pitcher Marc Rzepczynski to the Padres. Not sure how Cleveland fans feel about losing Rzepczynski, but Cleveland copy editors are ecstatic.

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Hottest accessory in MLB clubhouses tomorrow – badges saying “Hi, my name is….” ‪#‎tradedeadline‬

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How rich are the Dodgers? They took on $42 million in payroll at the trade deadline for players they won’t even play, to get the players they do want. Who spends that kind of money to buy people you don’t even need. Outside of politics, that is.

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-Looks like ‪#‎San DiegoPadres‬ managed the trade deadline about as well as they’ve managed everything else this season.

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California, the birthplace of invention. The Palo Alto Daily Post reports a Redwood City, CA, man is suspected of shoplifting after he came out of a store restroom looking intoxicated, and an empty six pack was found inside.

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Fox has cancelled Ryan Seacrest’s new reality TV series “Knock Knock Live” Shocking. Ryan Secrest had a series named “Knock Knock Live.”

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Well this is going to be interesting. Ray Tensing, the University of Cincinnati cop who shot Samuel Dubose, has had his union file a grievance to get his job back, claiming he was unjustly fired. What’s going to be weirder, watching some conservatives support the union, or some liberals fight against them?

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Jim Harbaugh said in a press conference he’s just striving to coach the football team., and doesn’t want to be popular. Well, as Stanford and the 49ers can attest, Harbaugh should soon do a good job with both objectives

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WWE star pro wrestler Rowdy Roddy Piper, has died at the age of 61. Now, wrestling is NOT my thing. But, seriously, doing the math, this sport is worse for longevity than pro football. Time to look at what is causing it?

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As the calls go for Walter Palmer to be extradited to Zimbabwe over poaching charges,  nice to know there are some U.S. lawyers who won’t touch this case. #bettertokillyyourgirlfriendthanalion

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So all these stores about Minnesota dentist Walter Palmer and Cecil the Lion keep on getting worse. Seriously, if you are some rich guy who just wants to prove how close you can get to a majestic beast, why not just buy an expensive camera?

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Palmer is so unpopular Donald Trump is looking at the dentist both as a possible running mate and assassination insurance.

Comments: 1 Comment

Trading places

Posted July 30, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

‪The New York Mets‬‘ Wilmer Flores cried on the field Thursday night thinking he was traded. But social media turned out to be wrong.  Wonder how many  Phillies‬ will cry Friday night realizing they HAVEN’T been traded.

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A day after they had their shortstop in tears over a trade that didn’t happen, the Mets blew a 6 run lead and had to sit through four hours of rain delays in losing to the Padres 8-7. Maybe God doesn’t like crying in baseball.

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Money money money money….. From the LA Times, with the trade of Hector Olivera, in 2015 alone, “the Dodgers would pay seven players — Olivera, Matt Kemp, Dan Haren, Dee Gordon, Brian Wilson, Brandon League and Ryan Webb — $80 million not to play for them. The Tampa Bay Rays had an opening-day payroll of $76 million”

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The LA Dodgers did get Mat Latos. Well, it’s a good fit. He will show up for his first pitching appearance at AT&T Park with a ready made booing section. ‪#‎IhateSF‬ ‪#‎Theyhateyoutoo‬

Waiting for Mat Latos to say about his new team, we “went and changed our whole lineup, put guys with ‘Dodgers’ across their jerseys. Yeah, we did.”

(for those who don’t follow baseball, Latos complained loudly in 2010 that the SF Giants had made too many trades in their pursuit of his Padres. With almost the exact same words above.  And then he went out and lost some very big games to SF.)

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Urban Meyer has suspended four players, including star DE Joey Bosa, for Ohio State’s first game against Virginia Tech, due to “violations of athletic department policy,”   Wow. So Meyer figure out a way to wait to suspend them until the Buckeyes’ second game against Hawaii?   The Hokies must not have much of a team this year.

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Looks like there may finally be some sad closure for MH 370. Over at CNN they’re trying not to be too gleeful over the possibility of another month at least of “Special Reports.”

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Jose Canseco says that to show his support for Caitlyn Jenner he “will be dressing up and living as a woman for a week,” And he will feature his week as a woman on his new internet show “Spend a Day with Jose.”

Canseco is not trying to be Caitlyn Jenner, he’s trying to be a Kardashian. ‪#‎publicitywhore‬

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Many people are still stunned by the news that Patriots Tom Brady actually thought it was a good idea to destroy his phone. Of course, Brady didn’t have the option to hand it off to Marshawn Lynch.

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A new Presidential election poll says Bernie Sanders would beat Donald Trump. Heck, Jed Bartlett would beat Trump. Come to think of it, what is Martin Sheen doing these days?

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Now the U.S. Government is getting involved. The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service tweeted today – “We’re investigating the killing of ‪#‎CecilTheLion‬. Will go where facts lead. We ask Dr. Palmer or his rep to contact USFWS immediately.”

As awful as the story is, maybe it will lead to changes. Certainly it’s got to be one of the few times when the Obama administration has at least 80% bipartisan agreement in this country.

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Okay, leaving aside the serious larger issues, have to wonder, how were the University of Cincinnati cops dumb enough both to KNOW the shooting of Samuel DuBose was on video tape with an audio, and still to think they’d get away with lying? ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

Comments: 1 Comment

Headline competition

Posted July 29, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
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A scumbag hunter illegally kills a beloved lion, the NFL upholds golden boy Tom Brady’s suspension after the QB destroys his cellphone, and now wreckage has been found from a plane that might be MH370.

Donald Trump’s going to have to outdo himself to make headlines today.

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No one is saying that deflating a football is like hitting a woman. Even when it’s done by an organization with a history of bending the rules. And the Colts were going to lose if Brady threw actual bricks. But McGovern was going to lose in 1972 too. The cover up is ALWAYS worse than the crime. ‪#‎whenwilltheyeverlearn‬?

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Patriots owner, Robert Kraft, complaining that he was “wrong to put his faith in the league.” “I was willing to accept the harshest penalty in the history of the NFL for an alleged ball violation, because I believed it would help exonerate Tom.”

Uh, sir, it is the ONLY penalty in the history of the NFL for an alleged ball violation. ‪#‎whenyoureinaholestopdigging‬

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Jerry Jones says that NFL commissioner Roger Goodell is doing “an outstanding job.” I’m sure it’s just coincidence that the 4th and last game of Brady’s suspension is scheduled to be against the Dallas Cowboys.

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Conventional wisdom aside, the ‪#‎MLBTradeDeadline‬ is much more fun than the ‪#‎NFLDraft‬.

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So now that he’s with Toronto ‪#‎BlueJays‬, will the star shortstop be known as Troy Tulowitzk-eh? ‪#‎TuloTrade‬

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SF Giants having an online sale which includes a lot of Sandoval World Series 2014 merchandise. Prices on gear might be the only thing connected with the Panda that are shrinking this year. Okay, besides his offensive numbers….

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There are now reports that United Airlines was hacked around the same time as Anthem and the U.S. Office of Personnel Management. A United spokesman said that it was ‘pure speculation,” and “we can assure our customers that their personal information is secure. We remain vigilant in protecting against unauthorized access and use top advisors and best practices on cyber-security to maintain our effectiveness.”

The same “best practices” they use for their reservations system? ‪#‎andhesaiditwithastraightface‬

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Linda Tripp (google her, youngsters), says she is risking her wonderful family life now to speak out against Hillary Clinton, an ambitious liar who “will stop at nothing to achieve her end.” Tripp said: ‘I regret what I put my children through. I regret very much that they had to endure that level of vitriol but would I do it again? Yes….My civil service career, well over 20 years at that time, meant a sense of loyalty, patriotic duty and honor. I sincerely cared about the integrity of the country’s leadership.’
If anyone in the world could make Hillary Clinton come off as sympathetic, it’s Linda Tripp.

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Well, that didn’t take long.. Marco Rubio tweeting today “look at all this outrage over a dead lion, but where is all the outrage over the planned parenthood dead babies.”

Well, while we’re at it where’s Rubio’s outrage over…mass shooting victims, soldiers killed in unnecessary wars, people who die without healthcare…. For starters.

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From Marc Ragovin “The Yankees beat the Rangers 21-5 the other day, making it the first time in MLB history that the ump asked a manager whether he wanted to hit or stick. “.

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On  a serious note, thinking all citizens and most police officers should be very grateful to whoever first came up with the idea of police video body cams.

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Tommy don’t lose that number?

Posted July 28, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
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So why would an intelligent man destroy a cell phone when it absolutely would make him look guilty? If the messages destroyed would make him look worse. ‪#‎TomBrady‬

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But really, don’t we all want to destroy our phones when we get a new one?  Because it’s so much fun re entering all those apps, contact information, bookmarks…

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The “Bachelorette” is finally over. But after weeks of guilty fun watching a couple dozen crazy contestants whittled down to a winner, for a relationship not even based in reality, well, Americans still have the GOP primary.

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Donald Trump is now saying he’d “love” to have Sarah Palin have some sort of position in his administration. That’s bold. Trump isn’t afraid Palin would take a shot at that furry thing that lives on his head?”

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LaTroy Hawkins, 42, has been sent to Toronto along with Troy Tulowitzki. Bit of a waste. Hawkins gets to Canada and universal healthcare just before he becomes eligible for Medicare.

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So Drew Storen has a 1.73 ERA and 29 saves out of 31 chances. And the Washington Nationals decide to bolster their playoff chances by adding… a temperamental closer (Papelbon). Same brilliant logic that had the team shut down Strasburg a few years back.

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The Mets’ Jenrry Mejia, is now suspended 162 games for his 2nd failed PED test. Once you might think you’re invulnerable. The second time? Proves again that MLB drug testing is also an IQ test. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

Boston claimed Jean Machi off waivers Tuesday. Are the Red Sox trying to bolster their struggling bullpen? Or just to pick up a former Giant with experience reducing the amount of food available to Pablo Sandoval at the training table?

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So the hunter who illegally shot Cecil, Zimbabwe’s most famous, and protected. lion, is an American dentist who was put on probation in 2008 for lying about the location where he shot and killed a bear, and who regularly travels the world to shoot big cats, elk, bears, rhinos etc, with a bow and arrow instead of a gun. Why stop there? A real man would face one of these animals with no weapons at all.

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Good. The AP reports “According to Zimbabwe police spokeswoman Charity Charamba, (Minnesota dentist) Walter Palmer will face charges of poaching. It is alleged that Palmer worked with the guides to lure Cecil from the national park to an unprotected area by strapping a “dead animal to their vehicle.” ‪#‎justiceforCecil‬

Comments: 2 Comments

Pahk the bid?

Posted July 27, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

As the USOC deals with the fallout from losing Boston as the U.S. hope to host the 2024 games, have to ask – “who the heck thought it was a good idea to award the bid to a city with LESS public support and more organized opposition than San Francisco?” ‪#‎nottomentionthatwonderfulBostonsummerweather‬

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The Houston Astros have made Taylor Swift’s move her tour date at Minute Maid Park from Oct. 13 to Sept. 9 because the team may be headed to the playoffs. Wonder how long it will take for Swift to write a bitter song about the brush-off.

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Got to wonder based on preseason polls whether ballparks in Boston and San Diego are now wishing they HAD scheduled Taylor Swift concerts in October.

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Last year Joe Biden compared New York’s  La Guardia Airport to a “Third World Country.”   Monday the VP just unveiled a plan to rebuild La Guardia into a “modern, unifed hub.”  Frequent travelers are wondering… is dynamite involved?

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Scientists are predicting a serious El Nino year in California, with potential flooding but still not an end to the drought. So you still can’t probably take a long shower, but you might be able to take a mud bath in your backyard.

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Cleveland Browns coach Mike Pettine says that Johnny Manziel will start training camp as the team’s backup QB but he could still win the starting job. Let’s hope Manziel doesn’t hear that and take off to a bar to celebrate.

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SF Chronicle has a story headlined “Marissa Mayer’s radical options to save Yahoo.” Here’s a simple radical one: Fix the damn email.

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Okay, I understand that Ray Rice did a very bad thing, on video. But Greg Hardy is playing, Adrian Peterson will be playing. Rice at least appears to be contrite and is doing good anti-violence work with his wife. Is the reason Rice isn’t being signed less his bad behavior than the former Ravens’ RB having lost a step or two?

Comments: 1 Comment

Gone guy?

Posted July 26, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

Donald Trump says his immigration strategy will be to deport “the bad dudes.” So does the Donald have his own bags packed yet?

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President Obama at a dinner in Kenya “II suspect that some of my critics back home are suspecting that I’m back here to look for my birth certificate.”

Of course not. they think Barack had the birth certificate burned a long time ago.

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Zack Greinke’s scoreless streak is over at 45 2/3 innings. Jacob deGrom got the RBI on a fielder’s choice. Of course, it had to be a pitcher. And Madison Bumgarner is thinking “I would have taken Greinke deep.”

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A woman who won a $188 million lottery jackpot this year in North Carolina was busted this week for marijuana. You’d think with that much money she could afford to move to Colorado.

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Rick Perry thinks “appropriately trained” Americans should be able to bring guns inside movie theaters and churches to defend themselves. I’m sure that’s comforting to the family of the man who was killed last year in a Florida theater by the retired policeman who was upset by his texting.

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The NFL is going to start more serious oversight of football inflation this year, with random halftime and postgame rechecks. Really? They think after actually being caught cheating that the Patriots would ever dare skirt the rules again… Oops, never mind.

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How quickly things change. Was it only a couple months ago that Ted Cruz was the craziest GOP candidate for President?

Sad end to the Bobbi Kristina story today. Although the more you hear about her short life the harder it is to imagine the story ever having a happy ending.

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How quickly things change. Was it only a couple months ago that Ted Cruz was the craziest GOP candidate for President?

Mike Huckabee, criticizing Obama’s foreign policy “It is so naive that he would trust the Iranians. By doing so, he will take the Israelis and march them to the door of the oven.” So clearly the race is on to out-Trump Trump.

From BIll Littlejohn,  “The Dodgers’; starting pitching beyond Kershaw and Greinke is very suspect. So it’s not ‘Spahn and Sain and pray for rain,’ it’s ‘Clay and Zack, then have a heart attack.

Comments: 1 Comment

Old and new school?

Posted July 25, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

We can’t agree about much in this country. But after Saturday’s 2-1 SF Giants win where Madison Bumgarner hit a home run…. maybe we can at least talk about the DH?-

Eli Manning has now replaced Rob Lowe in the DirecTV ad campaign. And NY Giants fans are thinking “Wait a minute, haven’t we already seen more than we wanted of “Good  Eli Manning/Bad Eli Manning?”

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The LA Dodgers have apparently told Yasiel Puig that he will not be traded. Maybe because at this point no other team wants the headaches?

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No serious injuries fortunately at a major pool bar fire Saturday night in Las Vegas at the Cosmopolitan Hotel.  Stand by for ads touting “the hottest bar on the strip..”

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Airline math is a strange thing. Qantas is advertising a big Business Class sale for travel to Australia that goes only until July 28, 2015, for travel Nov 1, 2015 to Jan 7, 2016. In the fine print – “14-advance purchase required.” Ya think?

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Front page of NY Times has a story about Hillary Clinton having some classified data on her personal email server, and how they should “never been stored outside of secure government computer systems.” And in the next column a story about serious fears from the data hacked in the major breach at the government Office of Personnel Management.

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And we don’t think professional athletes have problems. Josh Smith, who just signed with the Clippers for the veterans’ minimum, talking about his finances: “At the end of the day, you know, I do have a family. So it is going to be a little harder on me this year. But I’m going to push through it, you know.”
Smith will make $6.9 million this year. ‪#‎myheartbleeds‬

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Just thinking, if the Lafayette killer had tried to go to the Humane Society to adopt a kitten he probably would have been turned down for being too unstable. But he had no problem buying a gun.

Comments: 2 Comments

Deep doo doo?

Posted July 24, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

In Idaho, a cyclist stopped to defecate in a ravine and decided it would be a good idea to light his toilet paper on fire afterwards rather than littering with it. And he accidentally started a 73 acre wildfire. Talk about a dumb shit.

SF Giants have had a good week. As long time fans are thinking – hey, if the pitching can just show up and be mediocre the hitters will carry them into the post season….. WTF? Who is this team?

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Mets pitcher Jonathon Niese pitched 3 innings tonight against the Dodgers, gave up six runs, then watched his son born on  Face Time before flying home to Ohio.  NY lost 7-2.  Nice effort, but the way the Mets are hitting, Niese would have had to pitch a shutout just to get them into extra innings.

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The Obama Administration has apparently opened an investigation into whether American, JetBlue, Delta and Southwest engaged in price-gouging on flights in the Northeast after the major Amtrak crash this spring in Philadelphia.

“I can’t believe airlines would do anything that nasty” said nobody who’s flown in the last decade.

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At this point beginning to feel like Trump is competing less with other Presidential candidates than he is competing with the Kardashians.

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Dennis Rodman just endorsed Donald Trump for President. No joke. Hmm… Maybe Rodman is from the same planet as that furry thing that lives on Trump’s head?

Tampa Bay CB C.J. Wilson, who lost two fingers in a July 4th fireworks accident, is temporarily at least retiring, and said through an agent that even though C.J.s’ “career has been put in jeopardy as a result of the accident, he’s taking steps to ensure his long-term health is a priority.” Uh, starting with not playing with fireworks?

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The New Orleans Saints are releasing LB Junior Galette, 27, the team’s top pass rusher, over character issues including two possible domestic violence incidents.  Over-under on how long before some team decides that the “young man deserves a second chance.”i

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WWE has cut ties with Hulk Hogan. Ostensibly over his being a racist, but probably as much for being stupid enough to make those comments on tape.

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Could be worse?

Posted July 23, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized

Ohio Governor John Kasich (who?) has joined the 2016 Presidential race. No word yet on his slogan.  Maybe
You don’t know me but I’m not bat shit crazy.”

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Former Texas Gov. Rick Perry says he’s glad Trump is “finally” traveling to the U.S. Mexico border and “I hope he will explain to the Hispanic Americans he meets why he thinks they are rapists and murderers.”
Gawd, just how out there do you have to be to make Rick Perry sound reasonable?

Donald Trump today visited the U.S. Mexico border in Laredo, Texas “despite the great danger.” Five words: God I miss Molly Ivins.

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At Yellowstone National Park, a woman escaped with minor injuries when she turned her back to a bison to take a picture, and the animal flipped her into the air. Another Darwin “missed it by THAT much.” ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

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Donald Trump is indicating now that he might launch a third-party White House run if the RNC doesn’t treat him well. If true this would prove one of two things: 1. Trump’s ego REALLY knows no bounds. 2. Trump is a closet Democrat.

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Anthony Weiner has a new job with a PR firm which specializes in “crisis management.” Well, if anyone has experience in crisis management….

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Navy and Notre Dame have announced they will play a college football game at San Diego’s Qualcomm stadium. Stand by for Fighting Irish alums to declare it the biggest game ever played in San Diego.

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The US was “shocked” by Jamaica in the Gold Cup. Response from most Americans “What’s the Gold Cup?”

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Tom Brady’s merchandise sales are apparently the highest in the NFL. Meaning that prices for such gear will be one thing about the New England QB that surely will be well-inflated.

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The Oakland Athletics have started their trades earlier this year, sending pitcher Scott Kazmir to the Houston Astros. Thinking the A’s really need to come up with a bobblehead with an erasable face.

As an old Michigan fan it pains me to say anything nice about an Ohio State player. But QB Cardale Jones apparently was tweeting recently on social issues. And was called out on it for not focusing on football

So he tweeted “Sorry Mr master, I aints allow to tweet nothing but foolsball stuff I donts want you think I more than a foots ball playa sir”  Well played, Mr. Jones,  well played.

And in the closing rant.  So tonight it’s Lafayette. I’m sorry, doesn’t matter what your race, religion or ethnicity is, if you decide to shoot and kill multiple people for no real reason you are a terrorist. And maybe gun worship should be blamed as much as any religion.

Comments: 3 Comments

Cross at the border?

Posted July 22, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Donald Trump is visiting Laredo to tour the Texas-Mexico border. Though no doubt he won’t cross it. – because it would be embarrassing if the Mexican government deported him as being undesirable.

 

A Boston writer today wrote that the Red Sox needed to “cleanse themselves” of Sandoval and Ramirez.  Am sure SF Giants fans really feel sorry for Boston. Like you feel sorry when the ex who left you for someone else and slams you on the way has their next relationship fall apart….

 

NBA commissioner Adam Silver says “No doubt” that some day he can see a woman as NBA head coach. Although have to wonder, would a woman be dumb enough to take on say, the Knicks?

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Silver also says that the league may change rules to allow only the top 8 teams in each conference to make the playoffs. In other words, postseason teams in the East can still suck.

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Detroit manager Brad Ausmus says he is not giving up on the season as the Tigers are only 4 games out of the Wild Card. With a 46-47 record. Hmm, where does he think he is, the NBA?

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Shaquille O’Neal said the all-time Lakers team would beat the all-time Bulls team by 50. And the all-time Spurs team would probably jell togther better and kick both teams’ butts.

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So some rumors about Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert’s divorce say he cheated, some say she cheated. We can settle this real quickly if one of them turns out to have an Ashley Madison account.

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A source told People Magazine that the Duggars are “heartbroken” over the cancellation of their TLC Show, and that they want to return to TV. Alas, it’s been several years since they cancelled ‘To Catch a Predator.”
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President Obama Tuesday night on the Daily Show said he was issuing an executive order saying that Jon Stewart cannot leave the show. Guess Obama thinks he hasn’t done enough to infuriate the 2016 GOP presidential candidates?
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So Obama waited until Tuesday to lower flags to half staff for the Marines shot and killed in Tennessee. I would feel a lot less cynical about those criticizing the President if they weren’t also mostly the same people who want to send MANY more young men and women overseas to risk being shot and killed in foreign wars..
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Ted Cruz just convened a Senate hearing to investigate “abuses” by the Supreme court.. Saying recent decisions including on same-sex marriage are the “very definition of tyranny.”

The dictionary definition of “tyranny” includes words like unjust, oppressive and especially “cruel.” So who exactly suffers personally when gays get marriage?

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DeAndre Jordan, on his convoluted return to the Clippers – “When free agency started, this whole fiasco was not my intent.” Sounds like DeAndre’s intentions were as on target as his free throw shooting.
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Apparently a fire broke out today on the 4,000 passenger Freedom of the Seas cruise ship in Jamaica today, but it was quickly put out by the ship’s fire suppression system. Royal Caribbean says no passengers were injured, but one crew member suffered a first degree burn. Stand by for around the clock updates from CNN.

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Tax dollars at work.

Posted July 22, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

In April, a federal appeals court overturned Barry Bonds’ obstruction of justice conviction. Today, ending an almost 10 year battle, the U.S. Department of Justice announced they will not ask for a review with the U.S. Supreme Court and are ending the case.

What? Reluctance to spend more taxpayer dollars on this vital issue? ‪#‎IblameObama‬

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As we await the potential release of client names from Ashley Madison is it wrong to wonder how many of these spouses met on Christianmingle.com?

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Mississippi State suspended CB Justin Cox for the last three games in 2014 after he was arrested for alleged aggravated domestic violence and burglary. The charges were dropped, and Cox signed with the KC Chiefs.

Yesterday he was arrested again on charges of burglary of a residence, aggravated domestic assault and trespassing. ‪#‎Cantfixstupid‬

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Now that Becky Hammon has coached the Spurs to an Summer League Championship, wonder if some NBA team might make an offer to a proven winner like Tara Vanderveer. ‪#‎GoStanford‬

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But hey, it was summer league…. what does that show?   Well, in 2013 Jason Kidd had his first head coaching gig in Las Vegas and his Nets made the playoffs.  Then last year another guy made his coaching debut … name of Steve Kerr.   Turned out to be ok.

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Today at a campaign event Donald Trump attacked Lindsey Graham and then gave out the Graham’s personal cell phone number. Not sure if Trump really wants to be President, but he’s doing well in his question to become the Republican party’s most hated person not named Clinton.

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Roger Goodell says there is no timeline on Tom Brady’s suspension appeal, and that they are “being very thorough.” Does the NFL commission have one of Bud Selig’s “Blue Ribbon” committees working on it?

 

The SF Giants’ Tim Lincecum has been diagnosed with a degenerative hip condition. No doubt after he got the diagnosis Timmy had one question – “Medical marijuana?”

 

For anyone watching the SF Giants game,  Padres pitcher Dale Thayer threw that gum better than he threw that bases-loaded pitch to Hector Sanchez.

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Giants catcher Hector Sanchez, just recalled from AAA, hit a grand slam for the SFGiants.  Just guessing  that that he was really really tired of playing in Sacramento. ‪#‎SFGiants‬ ‪

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A Florida gun shop owner has declared his store a “Muslim-free zone” after the latest mass murders in Tennessee, to ensure “the safety of his fellow patriots” And he announced the decision in front of a Confederate flag. So I guess he would have had no problem selling a gun to the Charleston killer?

Would love to see what would happen if a very large African American man with a lot of tattoos walked into his store looking to buy guns. Especially if one of those tattoos was of a bible verse.

 

Comments: 1 Comment

Girls, girls, girls…..

Posted July 21, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

The San Antonio Spurs, coached by Becky Hammon, just won the NBA Summer League. So, apparently real men don’t have a problem with sexual orientation in the locker room. ‪#‎yougogirl‬

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Ashley Madison, the “dating” site for married people, has apparently been hacked and the hackers are threatening to post information on millions of users on line. Who knows, the U.S. political scene could be about to get a lot crazier.

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With the Ashley Madison hacking story making headlines, I see a new business model for some enterprising person – A company that will create a credible online to make it seem as if your identity was stolen. “Honest, honey, I have no idea how they got my name and credit card, clearly our personal information has been compromised.”

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Anyone who misses watching baseball games at Candlestick Park must have loved watching the final round of the ‪#‎BritishOpen‬.

 

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Curt Schilling tweeted outrage that President Barack Obama failed to issue a proclamation to lower flags around government buildings to half-staff for the Chattanooga victims despite doing so for pop singer Whitney Houston.

Except that Obama didn’t do that. The only government official who ordered flags lowered for the pop star was NJ Gov. Chris Christie.

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A gay British man who voluntarily donates sperm says he has fathered 10 children with nine different women in just the last year. So the guy is either really altruistic, or he has delusions of being an NBA player.

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The Denver Nuggets have traded Ty Lawson to the Houston Rockets. Hoping it works out, but is it really a great idea to send a guy with 2 DUI’s in a year to a place with Texas’s very relaxed gun laws?

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A profile of Karen Hinton, who is New York Mayor DeBlasio’s press secretary, brings up a story from a 1999 book of how in 1984, when she was 24, then Arkansas governor Bill Clinton gave her a napkin with his room number on it. Shocking. Wouldn’t it be more of a story if Clinton in those days was talking to a pretty young blond woman and didn’t give her his room number?

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ACC commissioner John Swofford says the conference is “not trying to be Big Brother” in dealing with off-field issues like those at Florida State.

“Our approach $o far, and I don’t really $ee this changing, is that we have a lot of confidence in our in$titution$ to handle those $ituation$ when they occur.”

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In Iowa, a former lottery security official was found guilty  of rigging a game so he could win a $14 million jackpot, and then trying to get someone to cash the prize for him. Hmm, anyone but me worried less about him than about the ones who aren’t stupid enough to get caught?

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Palo Alto, California, has been sweltering with temperatures in the mid 80s and 61% humidity. Thereby bringing ZERO sympathy from anyone in the Midwest, South and East.

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Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert, probably THE reigning royal couple of country music, are getting divorced. No word who gets custody of the material for song lyrics.

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Between Blake and Miranda though, Taylor Swift might have some competition for “Best breakup song of the year.”

 

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Just in 2014, the NFL gave each teams each $226.4 million as part of national revenue sharing. But all the the league could afford was a $765 million settlement over concussion-related brain injuries for all its 18,000 retired players. I wish this were a joke.

Comments: 3 Comments

Just say anything?

Posted July 20, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

Bill Cosby, in a deposition claimed he was good at reading nonverbal clues. “I think I’m a pretty decent reader of people and their emotions in these romantic sexual things…”

Although beginning to seem like a nonverbal clue to Cosby was “Hello.”

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The NY Mets managed to win Sunday 3-1 in 18 innings after going 1-26 with runners in scoring position and leaving 25 runners on base. And Phillies fans are thinking “You can GET 25 runners on base?”

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What ever happened to that “It never rains in California” stuff. Two rainouts on Sunday, for Padres AND Angels. And Dodgers happy they were in a place with great summer weather like Washington, D.C.

 

Rainout in ‪#‎SanDiego‬? It may not be freezing over, but Hell has to be pretty soggy.

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Sunday was “National Ice Cream Day.” Making tomorrow “National ‘Who shrunk my pants?’ Day.

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Three-time surfing world champion Mick Fanning was unharmed after being attacked by a shark during a competition in South Africa. Glad he’s okay. But have to wonder if any surfing officials are thinking “Hmm, a couple more near misses with sharks and our ratings will skyrocket.”

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A “Deflategate” ball used in the AFC championship sold at auction for $44,000. And somewhere Brady may be thinking “For that much money I’ll let the air out of several more and sign them.”

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Online headline at USAToday.com “Amateur and Spieth Chasing History at British Open.” And a lot of fans who have mostly only paid attention to Tiger Woods are going “I think I’ve heard of Jordan Spieth but what’s Amateur’s first name?”

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Anyone but me REALLY want to see Donald Trump head down to San Antonio and tell Texans that the men at the Alamo weren’t heroes?

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Many in the GOP field are defending John McCain against Donald Trump’s attacks. Wonder where they were during the “Swiftboating” of John Kerry.

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Many San Francisco Bay Area women were happy to see Sunday night’s news report on the record breaking weather. Not that we liked the very warm humid temperatures, but it was a relief to know the day wasn’t one big long hot flash.

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Scott Walker Sunday on if being gay is a choice. “I mean, to me, that’s, I don’t know. I don’t know the answer to that question.” This is also the man who said he was going to “punt’ on the question of evolution and that he didn’t know if Obama was a Christian.

But the Wisconsin Governor wants to be President because he says Americans need “fresh, new LEADERSHIP.”

Comments: 2 Comments

Curses, Trumped again.

Posted July 19, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , ,

Donald Trump  said John McCain “is a war hero because he was captured. I like people who weren’t captured.” At this point calling Trump a douchebag is an insult to a perfectly good female hygiene product.

 

 

Now Rick Perry is calling for Trump to be disqualified from running for president. “His attack on veterans make him unfit to be Commander-in-Chief.” Well, that and there are only ten chairs at the first GOP debate, so any way that Perry can cull the herd….

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Give ‪#‎DonaldTrump‬ credit. It takes a lot of work to give ‪#‎RickPerry‬ the moral high road. ‪#‎McCain‬ ‪#‎ProofHellHasFrozenOver‬

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And Donald Trump  also is now saying “I think we should boycott Mexico, frankly.” So okay, at least Taco Bell is safe, as there’s nothing actually Mexican about it.

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Saturday at the British Open.  So the wind is strong enough to blow balls all over greens, &  players look about to fall over, but seagulls stand calmly.  Evolution in action?

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But yeah, golf is not exactly a sport for the masses. British Open commentator, talking about how difficult it is for players because “the ball is oscillating on the green.”

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Brett Favre today at his Green Bay HOF ceremony “When you look back and talk about my career, it will be from a Packers standpoint. You almost forget that I played for other teams.” And some Jets fans are thinking “Would that that were true.”

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The Packets tweeted out on Saturday.  “Brett Favre’s No. 4 is officially retired.”  So Sunday will they tweet out “Just kidding”?

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LAX is now going to allow Uber and Lyft pickup. Because clearly the airport didn’t have enough traffic?

 

A Texas man accidentally fatally shot himself at his 21st  birthday party, authorities said. He’d apparently been shooting the gun into the air during the celebration.  Police said “Alcohol was a factor in the shootings.”    Ya think?

Wonder if a Darwin award was on his birthday list?

 

Six runs on 16 hits Friday night, now eight runs on 14 hits Saturday night.  Maybe what ‪#‎SFGiants‬ needed after the All Star Break was 12 innings of batting practice against live pitching?

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Keep your friends closer?

Posted July 17, 2015 by left coast sports babe
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes
Tags: , , , , , , ,

On Thursday, Obama became the first sitting president to visit a federal prison, a medium-security facility in Oklahoma. Probably a better idea than one in Illinois, where the President would have been too likely to run into former political colleagues.

 

Senator John McCain said of Donald Trump’s anti-immigration rally in Arizona – he “fired up the crazies.” Well, and if anyone knows crazy, it’s the man who wanted to give us Vice President Sarah Palin.

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Donald Trump’s polling numbers are so good that the GOP may start to take him seriously. In fact, in hopes of giving him some idea of what it actually might like to be President many Republicans want to send Trump on a weekend hunting trip with Dick Cheney.

 

 

Florida State says they will require student-athletes to be required to take a course in social responsibilities, one that “would give them some additional background in consequences of actions.” And I’m sure Seminoles’ football players will give the course the same high standard of attention they give to all their classes.

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Dodgers Nationals  were in a game delay due to a bank of lights going out at Nationals Park. Maybe teams should call Congress – they have plenty of experience working in the dark.

 

And then the Dodgers Nationals game was suspended in the sixth inning tonight after a third power outage. And Mets fans are thinking, haven’t we been in a power outage since the April?

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For ‪#‎TBT‬, Kim Kardashian decided to repost a 2010 magazine picture of herself nude in a pool of silver paint. It’s going to be so much fun when North West his puberty. ‪#‎youregoingoutlookinglikethat‬? ‪#‎karmaisameanbitch

 

 

J.J. Watt, in an interview cautioning high school athletes, “Read each tweet about 95 times before sending it Look at every Instagram post about 95 times before you send it. A reputation takes years and years and years to build, and it takes one press of a button to ruin. So don’t let that happen to you. Just be very smart about it.”

All good advice, assuming these athletes can count to 95.

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Australian tennis player Bernard Tomic, 22, was arrested at the W Hotel in Miami Beach, after there were multiple complaints about a raucous party in his penthouse suite, and he ignored police requests to turn down the music. Uh, just how loud do you have to be to be too loud for South Beach?

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A police raid Friday at a home of an Orlando city commissioner has apparently found both drugs and guns. Your move, Louisiana.

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A rain delay means that Tiger Woods did not complete his second round Friday and will have to finish up Saturday morning.  So even God decided He/She really wanted to see Tiger play on the weekend?

 

From Bill Littlejohn,  “In 1930, Clayton Kershaw’s great-uncle, Clyde Tombaugh, discovered Pluto. Fitting, because that’s where Kershaw’s curveball disappears to in the post-season.”

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While the vast majority of American Muslims are good law-abiding citizens, some people are calling for increased surveillance and profiling of Muslims because individuals have committed horrific crimes. So if the object is to prevent crimes, then presumably those same people should be calling for increased surveillance and profiling of gun owners…?

 

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