Archive for the ‘sports jokes’ category
April 13, 2013
The Republican National Committee today passed a strongly worded resolution opposing same-sex marriage and urging the Supreme Court to uphold DOMA. Got it, guns don’t hurt people, gay marriages do…..
–
Another thought about the base-brawl in San Diego: Somewhere Barry Bonds has to be thinking – “Wow, there’s now a guy who’ll get booed in Los Angeles more than I ever did….”
–
Carlos Quentin, suspended for eight games. Thinking he might serve it out immediately. As the San Diego Padres are playing the Dodgers in Los Angeles next Monday….
–
So if Nolan Ryan gets tired of running the Texas Rangers, maybe he can open a clinic to teach pitchers self defense skills?
–
Meanwhile ESPN reports sources saying Alex Rodriguez paid a former Florida drug clinic employee to prevent the release of potentially damaging documents. Remember the days when MLB was hoping A-Rod would break Bonds’ home run record? 🙂
–
Another disaster for the Los Angeles Dodgers. First Greinke gets hurt. Now Kershaw has given up a run.
(actually 3, but 2 were inherited runners a reliever let score.)
–
–
Bummer for Kobe Bryant with a probable torn ACL. Means he probably will miss playing for the Lakers in the playoffs – all five or six games.
–
A new survey says that for the first time in more than six years, the number of Americans who say things are going well in the country has reached 50%. Guess this won’t be something the GOP blames on Obama.
–
Uh, really? Ann Coulter thought this was a funny thing to say? ”MSNBC’s Martin Bashir suggested that Rep. senators need to have a member of their families killed for them to support the Dem’s’ gun proposals. (Let’s start with Meghan McCain!)” Wonder what Ann would say if someone made a joke about shooting her.
–
(For that matter, what would Ann, or Fox News have said if some Democrat made a joke about shooting any child of a Republican leader.)
–
At the Masters today China’s 14 year old star Tianlang Guan was assessed a one-stroke penalty at the 17th hole for slow play. It would be very un-PC to make an Asian driver joke here.
–
Lindsey Vonn is in Augusta cheering Tiger on at the Masters. And presumably making sure Woods doesn’t head out for a pancake breakfast by himself.
Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Carlos Quentin jokes, Greinke jokes, Janice Hough, Lakers jokes, Los Angeles jokes, Masters jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
April 11, 2013
Peter Robbins, 56, who was once the voice of Charlie Brown on the Peanuts specials, has pleaded guilty to stalking his ex-girlfriend. Wonder if she’s a little red-haired girl?
–
Down in Single-A baseball, Chicago Cubs prospect Jorge Soler was fined and suspended five games for approaching the opposing team’s dugout wielding a bat. The punishment could have been worse, but since he was a member of the Cubs organization, baseball officials figured he actually wouldn’t hit anything.
–
Major bench-clearing brawl in San Diego during the Dodgers-Padres game tonight. This would never have happened in today’s Giants-Cubs game – it WAY too cold for anyone to voluntarily leave the dugout.
–
Zack Greinke apparently has a broken collarbone after the brawl. Waiting for Wayne Pierre to say we need to arm pitchers.
–
This Greinke injury could scare other MLB pitchers away from pitching inside. Well, except Barry Zito. He knows no hitter would risk the embarrassment of charging the mound after being hit by a 50mph fastball.
New England CB Alfonzo Dennard, who was accused of assaulting an officer in April 2012, has been sentenced to probation plus a 30-day jail sentence. The jail sentence will begin on March 31, 2014. 2014? How long until Lindsay Lohan tries for the same deal on rehab.
–
A new study from National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism says that Americans tend to eat more calories and fat on the days they also have alcoholic drinks. Uh, couldn’t we have gotten the same results for a lot less $$ by sending the scientists to a few Happy Hours?
–
Bud Selig has rejected San Jose mayor Chuck Reed’s for a meeting to discuss the Oakland A’s hopes to move to a San Jose ballpark. But maybe Selig will appoint a blue-ribbon committee to spend 5 years looking into the proposed meeting?
–
A Northern California Junior High school has been in the news for prohibiting girls from wearing tight-fitting pants because they’re “distracting to teenage boys,” Uh, with all due respect, almost everything, including girls, is distracting to teenage boys.
–
Joint joke with my friend Alex Kaseberg: As the Masters began, many eyes are on 14 year old Chinese golfer Guan Tianlang. Wonder if he’s a retired factory worker?
–
So why aren’t those opposed to background checks for buying guns also opposed to driver’s license exams? After all, cars don’t kill people, people kill people.
–
So how has it gotten to the point that it is now considered a major victory, not to have legislation passed, but even to get it debated and voted on in Congress?
–
From T.C. “North Korea is moving a missile supposedly capable of striking the US mainland to their east coast. Satellite surveillance confirms the weapon is being transported via rail. The good news is, there is no sign of the gigantic rubber band that will be needed to launch it.”
–
Actually, if Kim Jong Un is such a basketball fan, maybe we should send Shaquille O”Neal over to follow Dennis Rodman. Maybe Shaq can give those aiming the missile some of his famous free throw shooting tips.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Cubs jokes, Dodger-Padres brawl jokes, Greinke jokes, Guan Tialang jokes, Janice Hough, North Korea jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
April 8, 2013
Stirring run by Louisville after Kevin Ware’s horrific injury. But as cutthroat as college basketball has become, have to wonder, is there a D1 coach out there thinking “Hmm, how do I draft a high school star with brittle bones?”
–
Now that the NCAA men’s tournament is over, fans of high-level amateur basketball will just have to be content with a few more games from the Lakers.
–
Wonder if Michigan coach John Beilein used magic markers on the hands of his players tonight to help them keep track of the number of remaining timeouts?
–
Over-under on the number of Division 1 college teams burning practice videos this week?
–
Dennis #Rodman was fired last night from #CelebrityApprentice.” Let’s hope no one tells his “friend for life” Kim Jong Un.
–
In Tennessee, a 4-year-old who picked up a sheriff deputy’s gun at a family BBQ allegedly shot and killed the man’s wife. An Tennessee Bureau of Investigations spokesman said it appears accidental at this time.” Ya think?
–
Metta World Peace said he will start Tuesday night for the Los Angeles Lakers, just 12 days after knee surgery. Well, it’s not like World Peace needs to save himself for the playoffs.
–
Damn, Annette Funicello has died. She was 70. And millions of baby boomers suddenly feel very old.
–
Just thinking, before Sesame Street, how many people remember “M-I-C (see you real soon) -K-E-Y (why, because we like you) M-O-U-S-E” as the first words they learned to spell?
–
Thieves in Germany apparently stole 5.5 tons of Nutella chocolate-hazelnut spread from a truck last weekend. Wonder if this followed a marijuana heist nearby. Talk about a sticky situation.
–
The NY Jets are forcing unhappy CB Darrell Revis to show up to “voluntary” workouts while they try to trade him. Meanwhile, QB Tim Tebow will voluntarily show up if he hasn’t been cut. New York sure doesn’t need Barnum and Bailey to have a circus in town.
–
Monday was the home opener for the Chicago Cubs. Who made masochism fashionable a century before “Fifty Shades of Grey.”
–
Former Sen. Rick Santorum said today that the GOP must stay opposed to gay marriage to avert political suicide. Santorum also maintained his support for changing the symbol of the Republican party from an elephant to a lemming.
(or as my friend Michael D. says, a passenger pigeon)
–
Why even in the 21st century, grammar and punctuation still matter: #Nowthatchersdead set off a number of rumors today that Cher had died. (#Youhaventseenthelastofme)
-New Indians’ manager Terry Francona got lost Monday making the two-block walk from his Cleveland apartment to Progressive field for the home opener against the Yankees. Unfortunately for Francona, a team employee got him there in time to see the Indians lose 11-6.
(Francona may also be thinking, “that’s the last time I use a old beer-stained map from Josh Beckett.)
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: #Nowthatchersdead jokes, Janice Hough, Kim Jong Un jokes, March madness jokes, Rutgers jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
April 8, 2013
All these scores Sunday – NY wins 7-0, Cleveland wins 13-0, Boston wins 13-0, St. Louis wins 14-3…. Did someone start the NFL preseason early and not tell me?
–
Price – rocked, Strasburg – rocked, Hamels – rocked, Cain – rocked, Dickey – rocked, Verlander – , not great. So will today’s MLB headline be “Aces in the Hole?”
–
Headline in Los Angeles Times – “Clippers sweep Lakers. Clinch division title.” Good thing the Tonight Show is moving to New York. This may have killed half their jokewriters.-
–
My friend Darren reported tonight “So the fans in Texas are chanting “Take a drink” @ Josh Hamilton” Stay classy Texas fans, stay classy!!
Am afraid fans in Dallas are proving Hamilton’s point about it not being a baseball town. (Either that or they think they are in Philadelphia.)
–
Barry Bonds is never at major SF Giants events like today’s ring ceremony, probably in part because the Giants don’t want reminders of the taint of cheating. So always a bit ironic to see Gaylord Perry. –
–
Sen. John McCain doesn’t get the filibuster threat from other Republicans a bill for gun background checks. “I don’t understand it. The purpose of the United States Senate is to debate and to vote and to let the people know where we stand.” Sigh. If McCain really believes that is still the case, maybe he IS getting senile.
–
Kathy Griffin’s show was cancelled. Shocking! Kathy Griffin had a show?
–
Dumb and dumber. Those leaked Rutgers tapes of Mike Rice in practice weren’t made surreptitiously, Rice himself had the practices filmed. (So much for that “always act like you know there’s a camera watching” theory of life.)
–
A New York City councilwoman wants to make it a crime to buy fake designer purses. Forget the soda ban, this is the law that could get women banded together in serious bipartisan outrage.
–
Conn. Gov. Dannel Malloy said of the NRA’s Wayne LaPierre and his opposition to the state’s strict new gun laws – “He reminds me of the clowns at the circus.” No doubt there will be swift calls for an apology, from clowns.
-Condoleezza Rice played Augusta National today with Phil Mickelson. Was this the closest Condi’s been to a Lefty?
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Janice Hough, New York jokes, Rutgers jokes
Comments: Be the first to comment
April 6, 2013
Now that #Michigan is in #NCAA championship, over-under on number of times we’ll see #ChrisWebber’s 1993 attempted timeout before Monday?
–
If Louisville wins thinking Rick Pitino’s wife is about as likely to let him go out without her for a celebratory dinner as Kobe Bryant’s wife is to let him order room service.
(short version for those saying “what?” – Pitino, married since 1976, was involved in an 2009 extortion trial with a woman he admitted meeting in a Louisville restaurant in 2003 , and having sex with in the bathroom. He also admitted giving her $3000 for an abortion. But that story somehow hasn’t made CBS’s weekend’s narrative..)
A 18-pound tortoise named Cashew who disappeared from a museum in Dubuque, Iowa, was found alive and in good health two days later in a building elevator. Officials believe the tortoise was stolen and then returned. Which would be easier to explain than her just having run away.
–
A rate Honus Wagner baseball card just sold for $2.1 million. What’s crazier, the price for a single card, or the fact that these days $2.1 million might get you a mediocre middle reliever?
–
A 22-year-old Oklahoma mom was arrested for allegedly trying to sell her 2-year old and 10-month old kids on Facebook. What kind of monster tries to sell little children? Teenagers, well, okay that makes sense.
(My friend Abbe Nelson says says you get better prices for kids on Ebay.. And Michael M. adds “More sad tales of the demise of newspapers. Once upon a time, it was very easy to sell small children through classifieds.”)
Is there a worse invention in college basketball than the possession arrow? Seriously. How hard is it to learn how to throw up a basketball for a jump ball?
–
Free-agent DB Charles Woodson, 36, says no NFL teams have offered him a contract because they think he’s too old. Shame Woodson didn’t take up baseball instead of football. He’s almost old enough to be signed by the Yankees.
–
Not a Rick Warren fan but very sad to hear his report his son shot himself: “Today, after a fun evening together with Kay and me, in a momentary wave of despair at his home, he took his life.” Without a gun a “momentary wave of despair” might not have been fatal.
–
CNN reports North Korea has told diplomats it cannot guarantee their safety if war breaks out but is encouraging tour groups to stay. Well, at least daredevils now have a scarier vacation option than a Carnival cruise.
Oops. The NY Post reports that Yankees fans who google “Yankees box office phone number” will find a number for a phone sex line. Well, some (male) fans may decide the new number provides more value for money.
–
Santa Clara beat George Mason 80-77 for the College Basketball Invitational title. So do schools raise a CBI banner?
–
There’s always a silver lining for someone. Mike Rice and company at Rutgers at least have meant that Chris Christie and Snooki are off the hook as the top New Jersey punchlines.
–
John Lackey exited his first start of the year with an arm injury. He had signed an $82 million, 5 year contract with the Red Sox in 2009. Who’d a thunk then that Barry Zito’s 7 year $126 million 2006 contract might look like the better deal?
Another thought on the whole Obama-Kamala Harris mountain of a molehill: So where’s the outrage when someone suggests a male politician is good looking?
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: basketball jokes, college basketball jokes, Final Four jokes, Janice Hough, Kamala Harris jokes, March madness jokes, Pitino jokes
Comments: Be the first to comment
April 5, 2013
SF Giants are 3-1. Despite having fewer team RBI’s than the Orioles’ Chris Davis.
–
It’s an axiom that there’s no such thing as bad publicity. But a week ago, most people didn’t even know Rutgers had a men’s basketball team.
Two most common reactions around the NCAA to the Rutgers basketball scandal. 1. That’s awful, how could they allow this to happen? 2. Burn the tapes.
–
Anyone but me find it a little ironic that ESPN is talking about Mike Rice and then switching to a Final Four preview featuring Bobby Knight?
–
Powerball tickets will be sold in California on Monday. All this uproar about taxation and no one complains about another stupidity tax.
–
The city of Chicago and Cubs owners are apparently close to a $500 million deal to renovate Wrigley Field. Many Chicagoans wish the team would spend $500 million to renovate the Cubs.
–
Brendon Ayanbadejo told the Baltimore Sun there are four current NFL players who are considering coming out as gay together. So are they working on coordinating outfits?
–
Pretty dominating performance by Barry Zito today. Especially considered that even Jamie Moyer was thinking “dude is throwing SLOW.”
From my friend Max McDuh watching today’s SF Giants game with St. Louis Cardinals broadcasters. In the middle innings the play by play asked color guy: “Third time through against Zito, what advice would you give Cardinals hitters?”
“Close your eyes, count to three, open your eyes again, pick up the ball and swing.”
–
Democratic Senators Heidi Heitkamp (N.D.) and Joe Donnelly (Ind.), announced their support for gay marriage. Good news for those who have Mark Pryor (Ark.), Joe Manchin (W.Va.), Mary Landrieu (La.) or Tim Johnson (S.D.) in the pool.
–
The $240 million New York Yankees are 1 and 3. With this kind of money to performance ratio they could be renamed the New York Congress.
–
A NY judge overturned a 2011 FDA decision to require a prescription for the morning after pill for girls under 17, saying it must be available to people of any age. Some are decrying this loss of parental control. Thinking if a girl needs the pill, she’s a bit past that point.
–
So let’s see, the 2010 BCS Champion Auburn Tigers allegedly had 12 players fail tests for synthetic marijuana, some had their grades changed, and others were paid not to have left early for the NFL draft. Other than that, Auburn appears to have been running a clean program.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes
Tags: janice hough jokes, Mike Rice jokes, Rutgers basketball jokes, Rutgers jokes, SF Giants jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
April 4, 2013
With no one to record him, is he still fired?
–
Many unfortunate lessons from the Mike Rice fiasco at Rutgers. And while his actions were inexcusable, have to wonder, how was the now ex-coach stupid enough to think you now can do ANYTHING around other people without someone having at least a camera phone.
–
The #Nike ad said “Winning takes care of everything.” Mike Rice’s record at #Rutgers was 44-51.
–
What’s a bigger surprise? That Barry Zito is pitching the SF Giants home opener? Or that SF fans are happy about it.
–
A fun stat for SF Bay Area friends from my friend Hartley Miller: Sharks/Warriors/Giants/A’s won Wednesday, 1st time all 4 Bay Area teams won on same day since April 18, 2007
–
In a recent survey, 52% of Americans said they were in favor of legalizing marijuana. Which is impressive considering that most regular pot users’ response was “uh, what was the question again?”
–
Quote of the year from an NBA player: Shane Battier, when asked whether a Griner NBA tryout would be positive for women athletes or if it would be seen merely as an attention-grabbing sideshow. “Listen, this whole (NBA) is a sideshow, what’s one more trailer?”
–
Fast food workers in New York City are going on strike. Wonder how long it will take Mayor Bloomberg to step in, and see if he can keep it going for a few years.
–
San Jose’s mayor says he thinks it’s time for him to meet with MLB commission Bud Selig about the A’s proposed move. Wonder how long it will take Selig to come up with a Blue Ribbon committee to look into a meeting.
–
Forget PED’s. Maybe NFL teams should focus on Twitter control: Buffalo Bills’ WR Stevie Johnson “‘War is nothing to be played with. I apologize North Korea …. but if ya’ll do bomb 1st… Bomb Foxboro, Mass. Sincerely, #BillsMafia'”
–
Former California Lt. Gov Abel Maldonado says he will run for Calif. Gov against Jerry Brown in 2014. Using strategists who worked on presidential campaign for John McCain and Jon Huntsman, and the advertising consultant who worked for Carly Fiorina. And those campaigns all worked out so well…..
–
Talking with a Canadian friend – realized I could go buy a gun at Walmart here in the U.S., but they wouldn’t sell me .222s (Aspirin with caffeine and codeine, nonprescription in Canada.) What a country.
–
Cardinals Pro Bowl LB Cardinals Daryl Washington has been suspended the first 4 games of 2013 for violating the league’s substance abuse policy. Which means he’ll be back in time to earn another Pro Bowl spot this year. Yeah, that’ll teach him.
–
So in heaven tonight, Siskel and Ebert, two thumbs back up?
–
Oscar Pistorius’s uncle Arnold says that his family encouraged him to get back onto the track to help stabilize him emotionally… We believe it is a vital step in helping him deal with the trauma.” Even O.J. Simpson is thinking ‘Have you no shame?”
–
The Chicago Cubs are in first place. Is this a sign of the apocalypse?
–
The report is that during their 2011, Auburn altered grades from players in some classes to keep them eligible. When asked about it several former players allegedly responded “grades? “classes?”
–
Some are upset because today after President Obama praised Kamala Harris as “brilliant and dedicated and tough… and the best-looking attorney general in the country.” So, okay, maybe he should have picked Beau Biden?
(But seriously, really folks? Obama didn’t make any comments about Harris’ figure, and he didn’t go on about it like Brent Musberger, and he didn’t just compliment her looks. ( For that matter he didn’t give her a neck rub.) Just get the sense we need to loosen up a bit. IMHO )
Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Auburn jokes, baseball jokes, Janice Hough, Mike Rice jokes, New York jokes, NFL jokes, Rutgers jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
April 1, 2013
Bryce Harper is on pace for 324 home runs!
–
Silver lining in today’s game for SF Giants’ fans? If Clayton Kershaw is going to be the Dodgers’ power hitter on top of being their ace, it’s going to take Los Angeles $250 million to sign him long term…..
–
Red Sox 8, Yankees 2. Wonder who George Steinbrenner would have fired by now.
(with an assist from my friend Tony Alan Banks. You have to wonder if somewhere in the afterlife, Steinbrenner fired Billy Martin just out of habit.)
–
Sandy Koufax looked good throwing out the ceremonial first pitch for the Los Angeles Dodgers. Wonder how long it will take the Yankees to offer him a pitching contract.
–
The University of Kentucky has announced that freshman guard Archie Goodwin is leaving early for the NBA. Guess he wants to parlay leading his team all the way to the first round of the NIT into big $$$.
–
Jon Stewart really slamming #NBC tonight on the Daily Show. So is Stewart also auditioning for Jay Leno’s job?
–
Lindsay Lohan will be a guest on the “Late Show with David Letterman” next week. Sure hope the show insisted on sending a car and driver.
–
Apparently police had to be called at a Seattle zoo’s Easter Egg Hunt when two mothers began fighting. Reportedly after one reportedly pushed a child aside to make it easier for her own child to get some eggs. Shocking. Parent violence at an Easter Egg Hunt?! Now, we’d expect it for opening day of Little League.
–
Unclear on the concept – Lindsay Lohan has reportedly told her lawyers that she’ll only enter lockdown rehab if she’s allowed to take her Adderall prescription with her…..
–
Well, at least there’s a Pac 12 team in the Women’s Final Four. Now if the #Cal Bears can just knock off UConn and Geno Auriemma in New Orleans all of Stanford might root for them.
–
USC has hired UFGC’s Andy Enfield as their next men’s basketball coach. Guess Enfield couldn’t turn the deal down, over $1 million a year plus every March off.
–
Glee’s Cory Monteith has voluntarily checked into a rehabilitation center to address substance addiction issues. Some would say such issues were caused by watching his own show.
–
From Bill Littlejohn: As we approach the Masters, Tiger Woods has reclaimed his No. 1 ranking and is well on his way to being the Tiger of old. In fact, insiders are predicting a Lindsey Vonn ski pole to his Escalade by Christmas.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: basketball jokes, Janice Hough, Lindsay Lohan jokes, March madness jokes, Opening day jokes, Yankees jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
March 31, 2013
And remember, love may fade, but Marshmallow Peeps are forever.
All this talk about Buster Posey being a San Francisco Giant for life….But it’s an 8 year contract! Posey will be 34 when it’s over. Making him almost old enough to play for the New York Yankees.
–
The Seattle Seahawks’ Chris Clemons said he’s not homophobic but it would be selfish for an NFL player to come out, since one’s sexuality should be left “at home.” Right, based on that long tradition of men not talking about sex and women in locker rooms…..
–
Many Stanford women’s basketball fans were unhappy when President Obama said that their team would lose to Cal in the NCAA Tournament. And as it turns out, Obama WAS wrong….
–
Some are talking about lowering the baskets for women’s basketball to increase scoring. After watching a few rounds of NCAA’s thinking maybe we need to do that for the college men too.
–
UCLA has hired Steve Alford as their new men’s basketball coach. Which means Bruins fans can look forward in 2014 to another weekend in the NCAA tournament.
The Yankees’ Andy Pettitte says he expects to be in the World Series. Is Pettite angling for a trade already?
–
The National Zoo has artificially inseminated their female panda. Waiting for the first conservative politician to say it’s another example of Obama showing disrespect for traditional panda marriage.
–
–
The under-over in Las Vegas for complete games in MLB this season by ANY pitcher in 2013 is 6 1/2. For the entire season. The Detroit Tigers’ Mickey Lolich had 29 complete games in 1971.
–
Well, he’s a douchebag but a creative douchebag. A 61 year old Virginia man, angry that his girlfriend had broken up with him, was arrested after he allegedly placed a fake Craigslist ad with her picture and address saying she was a “senior lady” looking for casual sex.
–
TSA has decided just to suspend 17 employees at Newark who were originally going to be fired “because it was determined that they did not ‘intentionally’ violate procedures associated with checked baggage screening.” Well, it’s not like they messed up on anything important…..
–
Michael Steinberg, a NY hedge fund executive, was arrested at his Park Ave apartment today on charges to conspiracy and securities fraud.
Steinberg’s lawyer said “he did absolutely nothing wrong.” Of course, it’s probably the fault of all the profiling police do of hedge fund executives.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: basketball jokes, gay player jokes, Janice Hough, March madness jokes, Yankees jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
March 28, 2013
In this case, Indiana. Bobby Knight had better aim with his chairs than the Hoosiers had with some of their shots tonight.
The Patriots’ Rob Gronkowski said today he would be accepting of a gay teammate. Good for him. But why is this harder for players than, for example, accepting a teammate who is a rapist.
–
Best thing about tonight’s mostly lopsided Sweet Sixteen games… realizing we are only 3 days from MLB opening day.
–
Johan Santana’s 2013 Mets’ season is probably over with a shoulder injury. Should we declare him an honorary NY Yankee?
–
The NBA has said, “Oops, Kobe Bryant really did foul Ricky Rubio” – on Rubio’s last second shot that might have tied the game. Not that it affects the Lakers’ 120-117 win over the T’wolves. And it’s not as if the league has any rea$on to want Lo$ Angele$ in the playoff$…..
–
Tiffany’s has just come out with a new collection of World Champion SF Giants memorabilia. This opposed to World Champion Cubs memorabilia which is in their “archaeology” collection.
–
A Cosmopolitan article says the three words men most don’t want to hear from a woman is “I look fat.” Uh, I would say those three are at best a distant second to “Can we talk?”
–
How new is the University of Florida Gulf Coast? Their oldest alums are 37. Wow. That’s too young to play for the NY Yankees.
–
United Airlines is now offering their Mileage Plus members a free one year membership in AARP. Wonder if they are offering the same deal to some of their flight attendants?
–
Three New Jersey men in were arrested for smoking marijuana New Jersey – in the parking lot of a police barracks. Can’t imagine how pot gets the reputation of messing with your short-term memory.
–
Mitt Romney says he doesn’t miss the campaign trail, saying “I like the life of being an American citizen. It’s good to live a normal life again.” Wonder if after Mitt said this he got in his private plane to head to one of his vacation homes for the weekend?
–
New York starting pitcher Phil Hughes has officially been placed on the disabled list for opening day. Looking like this year’s Yankee theme song will be “Another One Bites The Dust.”
–
Due to a number of accidents including a refinery fire, the Chevron’s board has cut CEO John Watson’s bonus and stock options by 10-20%. In 2011, Watson made $24.7 million. Gosh, how will he feed his family?
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes
Tags: baseball jokes, Janice Hough, jokes about march madness, March madness jokes, Yankees jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
March 27, 2013
So are color-blind people wondering why Facebook suddenly has all these green rectangles?
–
27 in a row without losing. Well, it was a nice streak for the #MiamiHeat. Curiously enough that’s probably the same streak Tiger Woods had with waitresses.
–
Poster held by a man in support of gay marriage “If Liza Minnelli can marry two gay men why can’t I marry one?”
Guess it would be un-PC to suggest that Nicole Kidman and Katie Holmes could also both marry a gay man.
–
Former USC star Matt Barkley apparently had a good day throwing in front of NFL scouts. So looks like NFL fans will get a chance to be disappointed by another Trojan quarterback.
–
From my funny friend Alex Kaseberg: “A report claims a gay NFL player is considering coming out, but he is concerned about the reaction from homophobic fans. The NFL fans should be fine with a gay player. This is a sport with skin-tight pants, shoulder pads, tight-ends, eye-makeup, touchdown dances and stylish headwear.”
–
The Scottish government has decided to ignore threats from Donald Trump and build 11 giant wind turbines off their east coast. Trump says they will spoil the view from his new golf course. But maybe he’s really worried that the turbines will blow away the furry thing that lives on his head.
–
Phil Jackson is now on Twitter. Guess he decided in view of California’s environmental laws to switch from smoke signals.
–
Kay Hagan of North Carolina is the latest senator to announce her support for gay marriage. Will the last Democrat to decide to join the party please turn on the light for the GOP senators left in the dark?
–
–
Metta World Peace is the latest Los Angeles Lakers player to be injured, and will miss at least six weeks with knee surgery. It’s not just disappointing their fans, this year’s Lakers are really adding to taxpayer costs for Medicare.
–
Tim McCarver says he will retire from the broadcast booth after calling this year’s World Series. And across America, folks are thinking, why wait so long, enjoy the summer with your family….
–
Actress Jessica Brown Findlay (Lady Sybil on Downton Abbey) said in an interview she regrets going topless in 2011 movie “Albatross.” In related news, downloads of the movie “Albatross” have increased 1000%.
–
So one issue with same-sex marriage for some is the fact that gay couples can’t “naturally” procreate. Anyone but me hoping that at least a few gay children have been born to the Duggars?
–
Stanford football coach David Shaw says that one thing he looks for in a recruit is a good vocabulary. SEC coaches respond that they are raising their own standards, and now have a few recruits who can spell “vocabulary.”
–
Really? Boston College is demanding an end to student-run “Safe Sites”, where students distribute condoms out of their dorm rooms, saying it’s a “violation of the school’s Roman Catholic values.” Thinking at the point of going to a “Safe Site”, condoms would result in the least possible Catholic “values” being violated.
Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: gay marriage jokes. Miami Heat jokes, Janice Hough, marriage equality jokes, Trump jokes
Comments: Be the first to comment
March 26, 2013
You think of showing your support for something with a bumper sticker, instead of changing your profile picture.
–
As the internet buzzes with the possibility of an active NFL player coming out, remember Willie Mays, asked at the age of 80 if MLB was ready for an openly gay player. His response “Can he hit?”
–
Apparently in oral arguments, Supreme Court justices Scalia and Alito were asking question related to the statement “We don’t know the effects of same sex parenting on children.” Uh, could it be any worse, than say the effects of heterosexual parenting, with say, Dina Lohan or Kris Jenner?
–
If all gay weddings required a 21-gun salute, would more Republicans be in favor of allowing them?
–
A man has won $8,000 in a lawsuit from Disneyland after he was trapped in the “It’s a Small World” ride for more than 30 minutes. Had he been stuck for much longer it might have been a violation of the Geneva convention.
–
Nike has started another controversy with a new ad showing Tiger Woods lining up a putt behind the slogan, “Winning takes care of everything.” Well, at least the ad is honest.
–
Not sure how Lindsay Vonn and Tiger Woods celebrated his regaining the world #1 ranking. Guessing she didn’t send him out to pick up take-out pancakes.
–
So all this excitement over the same sex marriage debate, then no ruling until June. It’s as if we had the early rounds of March Madness now, and then the Final Four after the NBA finals.
–
President Obama is planning to appoint Julia Pierson as the first female director of the U.S. Secret Service. Well that’s one way to avoid Columbian prostitute scandals.
–
There’s always a silver lining. Manti Te’o has to be thrilled in some ways that the headlines now are mostly just about his disappointing 40 yard dash times. (4.71 .)
–
One of Justin Bieber’s neighbors has accused the singer of battery following an argument over loud parties? Really, just how desperate for money do you have to be go to down in history as the punchline who claims to have been smacked down by Bieber?
–
Kanye West reportedly wants to call his new album “I am God.” Who knew, Kim Kardashian might end up being the more responsible parent?
–
Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar, with 19 children, say they are open to the idea of the idea of adoption. Many think they should have started adopting about 14-15 children ago.
(Pete Brody says maybe they can adopt octomoms 14 and they can have a rolling rock 33)
–
.
Glenn Beck is now saying that the Muslim Brotherhood is behind the ethics investigation of Michele Bachmann, because of her efforts against radical Islam. Forget welfare recipients, maybe it’s time to drug-test media hosts..
–
From T.C. “Dionne Warwick owes $10 Million in back taxes. The IRS left her a singing message on her voicemail, “Do you know the way to San Quentin?””
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: equal sign jokes, gay marriage jokes, Janice Hough, Prop 8 jokes, Supreme Court jokes, Tiger Woods jokes
Comments: Be the first to comment
March 25, 2013
Screw brackets. University of Florida Gulf Coast is just plain fun to watch.
–
But thinking anyone who said they have Florida Gulf Coast vs. San Diego State playing for the right to go to the Sweet 16 must be really good at Liars’ Dice.
–
Indiana miraculously proving that these day’s it’s not a good idea to bet against a Harbaugh in big games. (Joani Harbaugh is married to their coach.)
–
Although for my male readers, Florida Gulf Coast coach Andy Enfield is married to Amanda Marcum, a former swimsuit model. (If you haven’t seen her, this is what Google is for, guys. Have fun.)
–
An unknown New Jersey resident bought the lone winning powerball ticket, worth $338 million. Wow. That’s enough money to move out of New Jersey.
–
The Sweet 16 includes TWO teams from the Pacific Time Zone. So at this point watching #MarchMadness will get fans ready for ESPN’s usual baseball coverage.
–
The Miami Heat won their 26th straight game tonight, without Dwayne Wade. Okay, but against the Charlotte Bobcats at home, shouldn’t this game have an asterisk?
–
Karl Rove said today that Democrats need to “stop scaring people” with regards to gun policies and gun control reform. Apparently Rove thinks that scaring people should remain a Republican job.
–
In northern Utah, a Chevron fuel spill near a bird refuge, originally estimated at 6,000 gallons may have leaked as much as 27,000 gallons. And Chevron will now need government approval to reopen the pipeline. Wonder how long it will take the oil company to add the cost of cleanup to gas prices?
–
ESPN advertising opening night baseball next Sunday, the Rangers vs. the Astros. Guess they figure they can get those Texas teams out of the way early and then go back to Yankees-Red Sox.
–
The Lakers apparently come out of their pre-game huddle saying “championship.” The way the team is playing now, does Los Angeles think they could win the NCAA’s
–
Serious sports question: Two NCAA wins aided and possibly decided today by bad calls (OSU and Miami). Maybe in a one-and-done tournament time for a little more instant replay?
–
Serious gay marriage question as the issue moves to the Supreme Court: Good people can disagree on abortion, but why aren’t ALL conservatives who talk about religious freedom and small government lined up to say it’s nobody’s business who you marry?
–
And bus to hell time from T.C. The controversy over horsemeat in European hamburgers continues. My question for the week: Do their “Quarter Pounders” contain meat from “Quarter Horses”?
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Amanda Marcum jokes, busted bracket jokes, Florida Gulf Coast jokes, Janice Hough, Karl Rove jokes, March madness jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
March 21, 2013
(this post was done March 21, but somehow wasn’t appearing. Gremlins….)
So does Harvard count as a Cinderella since they won after midnight?
–
Congrats to Harvard. Although Johnny Dawkins at Stanford now may have an even harder time explaining why academic requirements prevent him from recruiting an NCAA tournament team.
–
New Pac 12 Men’s Basketball Motto: “We Suck Less Than You Thought.”
–
(Note to NCAA seeding committee: Did anyone notice that Oregon’s injured star point guard Dominic Artis has been back for a while now?)
–
16 March Madness games started Thursday at 1215p EST. Office productivity will be falling faster than Congress’s approval ratings….
And sorry folks, Bucknell is NOT the new Butler….
–
Watching Senators calling for an invasion of Syria…. Sigh. Once again I missed the rule that says military expenditures don’t count towards the deficit.
–
In talking about a gay conversion therapy bill, N.J. Gov. Chris Christie reportedly said he never reads bills before they hit his desk for approval. And somewhere Sarah Palin is saying “Why start then?”
–
That deep sigh you hear across the country belongs to all those bracket makers who didn’t think Gonzaga was over-rated.
–
Just got an announcement for a Steve Miller Band concert in June at Lake Tahoe. Of course these days the song is probably “Shuffle Like an Eagle.”
–
Retiring Georgia Senator Saxby Chambliss said he won’t join Rob Portman in supporting gay marriage, adding “I’m not gay. So I’m not going to marry one.” Sigh. So guess not being a woman is his excuse for being against reproductive rights?
–
For those who think basketball is a trivial waste of time, then there’s Kim Kardashian reportedly saying in a deposition this week that she really loved Kris Humphries. Their divorce case will finally go to trial May 6, meaning the proceedings will have lasted 10 times longer than their marriage.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Harvard jokes, Janice Hough, March madness jokes, NCAA jokes
Comments: Be the first to comment
March 20, 2013
And if you are reading this, you are probably too late to change your brackets.
“One and done” has some disadvantages and advantages. Last year’s Kentucky players didn’t get to see them raise the NCAA championship banner, this year’s won’t be on campus for all the Robert Morris jokes.
–
President Obama formally revealed all of this NCAA picks this morning on ESPN. Despite alleged GOP attempts to filibuster them.
–
Apparently Derek Jeter may start the season on the DL. Though he still hopes to sit in the Yankees dugout, yelling at the other team’s punks to get off his field.
–
Syracuse’s basketball program is apparently again under NCAA investigation. How will we know when the allegations are really serious? When Jim Boeheim resigns to spend more time with his family.
–
James Madison won their play-in game for the right to play Indiana. Isn’t this a bit like winning the Christians competition for the right to go against the Lions?
–
Lindsay Lohan, who reportedly hit the clubs after her rehab plea deal is now saying “It wasn’t me.” Maybe the “Parent Star” star is taking this “evil twin” thing a bit too seriously?
–
Wisconsin will open their 2015 football season against Alabama. Guess the “Little Sisters of the Poor” aren’t available?
–
The Tonight Show may be moving back to New York in late 2014. So first question, will all those Dodgers jokes become Yankees jokes or Mets jokes?
–
Open note to Michelle Shocked: Just shut up and go away again. Your 15 minutes have expired.
–
Neiman Marcus has paid an undisclosed fine to the FTC in a settlement. Apparently they were selling real fur products and pretending they were fake fur.
As opposed to many Neiman Marcus shoppers who pretend they have “real” faces and bodies when they are….nah, I don’t need to finish this sentence.
–
At Knoxville airport, Delta workers ordered pizza to be delivered to passengers stuck on the tarmac for a flight diverted due to bad weather. The really shocking thing… the airline didn’t charge them by the slice.
–
Hanley Ramirez injured his thumb in the WBC final, and may be out up to 10 weeks. At this point the Dodgers and Yankees may not end up in the World Series, but they could meet up in a special baseball edition of “Survivor.”
–
From my friend Jim Barach, yeah, this just about sums it up. “On the tenth anniversary of the invasion of Iraq, 53% of Americans say the war was a mistake. The other 47% are still debating between disaster, debacle and catastrophe.”
–
All in the family trivia: If Indiana wins the NCAA tournament another Harbaugh will be celebrating with a trophy – Joanie Crean, wife of coach Tom Crean, is Jack and Jim’s sister.
–
Okay, March Madness brackets aside – Angie or Kree to win American Idol. IMHO.
Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: basketball jokes, janice hough jokes, Kentucky jokes, March madness jokes, NCAA tournament jokes
Comments: Be the first to comment
March 18, 2013
Lindsay Lohan has accepted a plea deal involving 90 days in rehab. It’s all part of Los Angeles’s “33 strikes and you’re out policy”
–
First Elvis Dumervil’s late fax, now, according to the Patriots, Wes Welker’s agent is the reason the WR isn’t back with New England. Hard to believe there’s been this much bad publicity about agents and Scott Boras isn’t involved.
–
John Boehner has said today that he ‘can’t imagine’ his views on gay marriage will ever shift, even if he had a son who was gay. Brave words from a man with two daughters.
–
Belated St. Patrick’ Day toast. “May your troubles last as long as your pristine brackets.”
–
Video game maker Electronic Arts Inc. said today their CEO will step down at the end of the month. Shocking to many in Silicon Valley. Electronic Arts is still in business?!
–
One of the young men convicted in the Steubenville, Ohio rape case apologized and said “No pictures should have been sent out, let alone been taken.” Uh, what about nothing they took pictures of should have happened, PERIOD.
–
Baltimore Ravens coach John Harbaugh, says the team will be different next year but that’s a good thing — “The worst mistake you can make is trying to hold a team together” And Florida Marlins fans are thinking “Not exactly.”
–
Pablo Sandoval apparently has a mild elbow injury. SF Giants just hope the doctor tells him to stop lifting burritos, burgers, pizza….
–
Disneyland now says children under 14 must have an older person with them to enter the Magic Kingdom. Translation, we are no longer going to be your babysitter.
–
RNC Chairman Reince Priebus said today that “Focus groups described (the GOP) as ‘narrow minded,’ ‘out of touch,’ and ‘stuffy old men.'” Who says Americans don’t pay attention to politics?
–
Tiger Woods has officially announced that he and Lindsey Vonn are dating. Presumably Tiger has turned over a new leaf with women, as he’s smart enough to know that a world champion skier might have better aim with a golf club….
–
Watching a repeat of the Daily Show featuring Sandra Day O’Connor. Is it too late to have her rejoin the Supreme Court and have Antonin Scalia take her place in retirement?
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Janice Hough, John Boehner jokes, Lindsay Lohan jokes, NFL jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
March 17, 2013
Why we know the same people who run the BCS are not on the NCAA men’s basketball tournament selection committee – not only did defending champions Kentucky not get in, but the field only has 3 SEC teams.
–
Wonder what kind of shape the USA would be in if Americans spent as much time thinking about who they vote for as they do filling out their NCAA brackets? #Marchmadness
–
So which happens first? President Obama releases his NCAA brackets? Or the GOP criticizes him for making time to select them?
–
Wonder how busted most people’s brackets would already be if you had to know the city and state of any team picked, and for that matter at least one player on each team….
–
Pat Boone called President Obama a Marxist. Wonder how many people these days actually remember what a Marxist is? For that matter wonder who many people actually remember who Pat Boone is?
–
Now former Denver Bronco Elvis Dumervil has fired his agent. Wonder if he did it by fax.
–
Just saw a commercial saying: “KFC whole chicken is delivered and prepared fresh by real cooks in our restaurants.” Is SNL starting to run their fake ads during the day now?
–
Two high school football players in Steubenville were found guilty of raping a drunk 16 year old girl at a party last year. Proof perhaps that doing very bad stuff and posting it online trumps even society’s bias in favor of athletes.
–
Lindsay Lohan apparently could miss her Monday morning court date because she missed her flight last night from NY to LA to stay and party at a local nightclub. Gosh, if she shows up the judge again Lindsay could face a really really stern warning.
–
Mark Teixeira says his wrist injury may sideline him longer than originally thought, but added “I don’t know if it’s the beginning of May, the end of May, the beginning of June, I don’t know when it is but we got a whole bunch of season left and the time that really matters is the playoffs.” Uh, this assumes the NY Yankees make the playoffs.
Of course, GOP Rep. Steve LaTourette is retired so he can say this, “We’re supposed to wonder why we don’t have the women’s vote in this country when we have a candidate suggesting that a child born as a result of rape is a gift from God?” And “If we ever want to be a national party, then we have to look like America. Today we look like a bunch of white guys below the Mason-Dixon line.”
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: #Marchmadness jokes, GOP jokes, Janice Hough, March madness jokes, NCAA jokes, Yankees jokes
Comments: 4 Comments
March 17, 2013
Rand Paul won today’s CPAC’s straw poll, just ahead of Marco Rubio. Democrats wish both them as much luck as the 2012 winners, Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum.
–
Meanwhile, Bobby Jindal of Louisiana, once considered a front runner, finished 8th, tied with Sarah Palin. Even the 2012 New Orleans Saints are calling that a disappointing showing.
–
Headline from CPAC: Coulter throws Christie under the bus.” With all due respect, I don’t think Ann Coulter could even lift Chris Christie, let alone throw him anywhere.
–
Sarah Palin at CPAC while drinking from a “Big Gulp” cup on stage “Bloomberg’s not around. Our Big Gulp’s safe.” Nice prop usage, except that Palin made a point of saying after the 2008 campaign – “I never asked for anything more than a Diet Dr. Pepper once in a while.”
–
More from CPAC: Attendees are blasting conservative GOP Senator Rob Portman for having a gay son and for now endorsing gay marriage. Right, the same folks cheering Sarah Palin, whose daughter Bristol has been such a paragon of traditional values.
–
Cher now says she dated Tom Cruise briefly in the 1980s. Well, that ought to take care of the gay rumors….
–
Wide receiver Donte Stallworth sustained serious burns after he and his girlfriend had their hot air balloon run into power lines near Miami. Teams around the NFL expressed sympathy, and promptly added ballooning to things forbidden in guaranteed contracts.
–
Elvis Dumervil had to be released by the Denver Broncos because he and his agent faxed in the paperwork about 8 minutes late. Who said football players don’t need to pay attention to math?
–
Apparently people who drink both coffee and green tea are significantly less likely to have a stroke. Stand by for some ghastly new concoction from Starbucks.
–
More cruise ships with issues this week getting news coverage. At what point do we rename it the Carnival News Network
–
Broncos safety Quinton Carter was arrested and faces felony charges for allegedly cheating at a Las Vegas casino craps game. Not sure if this means jail time but if not maybe Denver will trade Carter to the New England Patriots?
–
And finally, today is selection Sunday. The day when several men’s NCAA basketball teams get to complain bitterly about being denied the chance to be knocked out in the first round of March Madness
Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Cher jokes, CPAC jokes, Janice Hough
Comments: Be the first to comment
March 15, 2013
The NFL is considering abandoning the tuck rule. And from the great beyond, some hear Al Davis’s voice yelling ‘So where are our retroactive 2002 Super Bowl Rings?”
–
Riddle of the morning: What’s the difference between a dirty play and a good hard aggressive play? Answer: Whether or not it happens to YOUR team.
Nicki Minaj said of one of her favorite American Idol contestants on elimination night – “If you go home, I’m going home.” And most of America said “Promise?””
–
Silver lining for Lakers fans. If the team doesn’t make the playoffs now, for all eternity you can say that they WOULD have been World Champions if not for Kobe’s injury.
–
So allegedly Kris Humphries’ lawyers have obtained a deposition from a producer of “Keeping up with the Kardashians” saying Kim not only knew about the “surprise” proposal, she had them reshoot the scene to make her reaction look better. “I can’t believe she would be that tacky” said absolutely nobody.
–
In a speech at CPAC, Marco Rubio today referred to liberals as “freeloaders.” Somehow I missed the part of the speech where he decried the rule that U.S. Senators get a pension for life after only one term.
–
Unclear on concept? Ted Cruz, trying to connect 1st and 2nd amendments, asked Dianne Feinstein if she considered it constitutional for Congress to specify that the 1st Amendment would only apply to certain books. This from a senator whose state schools still ban books? #guncontrol
–
Clearly don’t know all the details of the Steubenville, Ohio, rape case, where the question appears to be if a 16 year old girl was too drunk last August to give consent to sex with two high school football players. But seems like if they weren’t football players, the two would have made a plea bargain and already been in jail?
Not saying the Notre Dame day-glo lime green basketball uniforms are ugly, but even Oregon football players are saying “What were you THINKING?”
–
The USA fell to 33rd in FIFA rankings. Of course, part of the problem – most Americans said “What’s FIFA?”
–
Oops, apparently they waited too long to embalm Hugo Chavez’s body, and acting Venezuela president Nicolas Maduro said the process now might be “quite difficult.” Waiting to see how they decide this is the U.S.’s fault.
–
The Carnival Dream has mechanical problems and is stuck at the dock in St. Martin. Good thing they picked a Pope yesterday so CNN can devote the entire day again to this major story.
–
from T.C. “Japanese tsunami debris has been discovered washed up on the Hawaiian Islands this week. This is not to be confused with former MLB player Manny Ramirez who will be washed up in Taiwan in under 2 weeks.”
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: American Idol jokes, janice hough jokes, Kardashian jokes, Lakers jokes, NFL jokes
Comments: Be the first to comment
March 13, 2013
Bummer. They chose a new Pope today and America didn’t even have a chance to hear the top ten sing.
–
The new Pope, Jorge Mario Bergoglio of Buenos Aires, was taken immediately after his election to get his new clothes and be given time to pray in the “Room of Tears,” Wonder if they piped in the music “Don’t cry for me, Argentina?
So the papal conclave in Rome is over – they sent out white smoke.
Meanwhile with the sequester in Washington – they’re still blowing smoke.
–
V.P. Joe Biden, a Catholic to serve as vice president, will lead the U.S. delegation to next week’s formal installation of the new Pope. Will they send up white smoke when Biden’s speech is over?
–
The “Catholic 7” said they will announced new members for their new basketball conference in 7-10 days. So will they announce their choices with white or black smoke?
(Michael Duca reminds us that “White smoke can’t jump.”)
–
Miley Cyrus, who’s been attempting a comeback, now apparently has split with her fiancé, Liam Hemsworth. Maybe Miley can talk to Taylor Swift for tips on writing a song about it..
–
Kobe Bryant has sprained his ankle and is out indefinitely. Can’t wait to hear Dwight Howard tell him to play through the pain.
–
A corgi in Helen Mirren’s London play “The Audience” about Queen Elizabeth II has been fired for not obeying commands. While the dog was supposed to be playing the Queen’s pet, clearly she saw herself more in the role of a cat.
–
Marriott is going to partner with Ikea for a budget brand in Europe, which will be known as Moxy Hotels. Guess we can expect Moxy to put a whole new spin on the concept of making your own bed.
–
The Senate Judiciary Committee passed a universal background check bill to close the gun show loophole on a strict 10-8 party line vote. What is it with those in the GOP who don’t think you need ID check to buy a gun, but you do need it to cast a ballot?
–
Sen. Ted Cruz says he is willing to risk a govt shutdown if Obamacare is not defunded. Leaving the Supreme Court decision and the 2012 election out of it, if Cruz cares so much about the budget why doesn’t he personally step up and volunteer to defund Congressional healthcare?
–
Am I the only one who doesn’t get it? So Michael Vick has to cancel his book tour because of outrage, and Ray Lewis just signed a contract with ESPN…..
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Congress jokes, Janice Hough, Lakers jokes, new pope jokes, Pope jokes, white smoke jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
Left Coast Sports Babe 