Posted tagged ‘Harvard jokes’

Missed it by that much .

March 21, 2013

(this post was done March 21,  but somehow wasn’t appearing.  Gremlins….)

 

So does Harvard count as a Cinderella since they won after midnight?

Congrats to Harvard. Although Johnny Dawkins at Stanford now may have an even harder time explaining why academic requirements prevent him from recruiting an NCAA tournament team.

New Pac 12 Men’s Basketball Motto: “We Suck Less Than You Thought.”

(Note to NCAA seeding committee:  Did anyone notice that Oregon’s injured star point guard Dominic Artis has been back for a while now?)

16 March Madness games started Thursday at 1215p EST. Office productivity will be falling faster than Congress’s approval ratings….

And sorry folks, Bucknell is NOT the new Butler….

Watching Senators calling for an invasion of Syria…. Sigh. Once again I missed the rule that says military expenditures don’t count towards the deficit.

In talking about a gay conversion therapy bill, N.J. Gov. Chris Christie reportedly said he never reads bills before they hit his desk for approval. And somewhere Sarah Palin is saying “Why start then?”

That deep sigh you hear across the country belongs to all those bracket makers who didn’t think Gonzaga was over-rated.

Just got an announcement for a Steve Miller Band concert in June at Lake Tahoe. Of course these days the song is probably “Shuffle Like an Eagle.”

Retiring Georgia Senator Saxby Chambliss said he won’t join Rob Portman in supporting gay marriage, adding “I’m not gay. So I’m not going to marry one.” Sigh. So guess not being a woman is his excuse for being against reproductive rights?

For those who think basketball is a trivial waste of time, then there’s Kim Kardashian reportedly saying in a deposition this week that she really loved Kris Humphries. Their divorce case will finally go to trial May 6, meaning the proceedings will have lasted 10 times longer than their marriage.

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Inopportune moments,

September 12, 2012

You can’t make this stuff up: ABC, CBS, CNN, MSNBC, and Fox all aired moments of silence at 8:48 a.m. today. NBC? They had Kardashian mom Kris Jennner talking about her breast implants.

GoDaddy says yesterday’s major outage “was not a ‘hack”, but rather a “series of internal network events that corrupted router data tables.”   Well, that ought to make users feel confident.

Quote found by my friend  David Lombardi from USC running back Silas Redd:   “You have to have a little bit of a sense of urgency going into the conference, this is where you make your money.”

Well, at least he’s honest.

Reds manager Dusty Baker said he is concerned about Aroldis Chapman’s recent drop in velocity, down to an average of 94.4 MPH on Monday. Upon hearing this Jamie Moyer and Barry Zito  just sobbed.

According to SI.com men’s basketball co-captains Kyle Casey and Brandyn Curry were both implicated in the recent Harvard cheating scandal. Wow, first the NCAA tournament, now cheating? Guess the Crimson program has really hit the big time.

(and in the “you cannot make this ‘stuff’ up” category – thanks to Rich for telling me this –  the class where  Casey, Curry and over 120 other students were caught cheating?  “Introduction to Congress.”)

What East Coast bias?   ESPN.com has a headline talking about the Giants’ chances in the playoffs. Oops, it’s the NY Giants. After week ONE. Never mind.

Yikes. After swearing off Twitter in May, Marlins manager Ozzie Guillen has tweeted “I am. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.” Over-under on how long before he tweets something he has to apologize for?

Americans were all thinking positive thoughts about New York on the anniversary of September 11. But that doesn’t mean we can’t take pleasure in a Yankees loss.

The shocking dilemma of the year in Washington, D.C. Do sports fans on a budget put deposits down for post season tickets on the Nationals or the Orioles?

Maybe SF Giants should let Madison Bumgarner skip a start and rest his arm. In the meantime he can bat third.

Roger Clemens said he only wants to pitch for the Astros in 2012 if he can pitch against a “contender.” So he can “knock them right out of the playoffs” And Barry Bonds is thinking – “And they thought I had a big head?”