Posted tagged ‘Rutgers basketball jokes’

Hitless and witless wonders?

April 5, 2013

SF Giants are 3-1. Despite having fewer team RBI’s than the Orioles’ Chris Davis.

It’s an axiom that there’s no such thing as bad publicity. But a week ago, most people didn’t even know Rutgers had a men’s basketball team.

Two most common reactions around the NCAA to the Rutgers basketball scandal. 1. That’s awful, how could they allow this to happen? 2. Burn the tapes.

Anyone but me find it a little ironic that ESPN is talking about Mike Rice and then switching to a Final Four preview featuring Bobby Knight?

Powerball tickets will be sold in California on Monday. All this uproar about taxation and no one complains about another stupidity tax.

The city of Chicago and Cubs owners are apparently close to a $500 million deal to renovate Wrigley Field. Many Chicagoans wish the team would spend $500 million to renovate the Cubs.

Brendon Ayanbadejo told the Baltimore Sun there are four current NFL players who are considering coming out as gay together. So are they working on coordinating outfits?

Pretty dominating performance by Barry Zito today. Especially considered that even Jamie Moyer was thinking “dude is throwing SLOW.”

From my friend Max McDuh watching today’s  SF Giants game with St. Louis Cardinals broadcasters.  In the middle innings the play by play asked color guy: “Third time through against Zito, what advice would you give Cardinals hitters?”

“Close your eyes, count to three, open your eyes again, pick up the ball and swing.”

Democratic Senators Heidi Heitkamp (N.D.) and Joe Donnelly (Ind.), announced their support for gay marriage. Good news for those who have Mark Pryor (Ark.), Joe Manchin (W.Va.), Mary Landrieu (La.) or Tim Johnson (S.D.) in the pool.

The $240 million New York Yankees are 1 and 3. With this kind of money to performance ratio they could be renamed the New York Congress.

A NY judge overturned a 2011 FDA decision to require a prescription for the morning after pill for girls under 17, saying it must be available to people of any age. Some are decrying this loss of parental control. Thinking if a girl needs the pill, she’s a bit past that point.

So let’s see, the 2010 BCS Champion Auburn Tigers allegedly had 12 players fail tests for synthetic marijuana, some had their grades changed, and others were paid not to have left early for the NFL draft. Other than that, Auburn appears to have been running a clean program.

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