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T’is the season.

November 13, 2015

Apparently in Thursday night’s NFL game colorblind viewers couldn’t distinguish between the Buffalo Bills’ red uniforms & the NY Jets’ green uniforms. Worse yet, neither team’s uniforms featured Christmas symbols Where’s the protest from Christians?

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If ‪#‎Starbucks‬ had just put out a plain holiday cup where people couldn’t decide what color it was they would have really broken the Internet.

Johnny Manziel, struggling with the Browns, is saying now he can’t see down the field because of his stature. And somewhere Drew Brees is just giggling.

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A new police report says Heat guard Gerald Green, who was mysteriously suspended 2 games for “conduct detrimental to the team” apparently punched a man last week in Miami and was so combative that he needed to be handcuffed to be taken for medical help.
Is this just a blatant attempt by the NBA to steal headlines from the NFL?

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Madison Bumgarner won another Silver Slugger award as the best hitting pitcher in baseball. Madbum is beginning to be to this award as Meryl Streep is to the Oscars.

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Apparently Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s new “By the Sea” movie is likely to be a flop. “I feel so sorry for them both, what will they fall back on?” said nobody.

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National Geographic is reporting “cougars are spreading back East after being confined to Western states for almost a century.” So maybe all the single rich geeky young men these days aren’t confined to California.

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A councilman who oversaw the removal of public toilets in his town has been cited by police, for urinating in the street. Nope, not Florida. Scotland.

In 2014, the Department of Veterans Affairs apparently gave executives and other employees over $142 million in bonuses, despite scandals and allegations of mismanagement. So who says government can’t compete with the private sector?

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Facebook, trying to compete with Snapchat, is experimenting with messages that will supposedly disappear after an hour. And if you believe they will COMPLETELY disappear, then you’re too stupid to think of a future run for office.

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A member of the Secret Service has been charged trying to solicit a 14-year-old-girl on-line.(Turns out he was texting and email an undercover officer.) Makes you long for those innocent days when the Secret Service was just soliciting prostitutes.

Walter Palmer, the dentist who shot Cecil the lion, is now under investigation in Minnesota for illegal hunting activity. allegedly ‘herding deer back onto his land.” Can’t we take up a collection for this guy to go hunting with Dick Cheney?

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The Chinese billionaire who bought the 12.03 carat “Blue Moon” diamond for $48.4 million, reportedly purchased it for his daughter, Josephine, age 7. Well, at least we know he has enough money for his daughter also to have years of therapy

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The ISIS executioner known as Jihadi John has reportedly been ‘evaporated’ by a US drone strike; ‘killed in a flawless clean hit’ in Ragga, Syria. Can we blame Obama?

Donald Trump, slamming Ben Carson, and his rise in the Iowan polls = “How stupid are the people of Iowa? How stupid are the people of the country to believe this crap?”
Well.., maybe not stupid enough to vote for Trump?

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Mother of Invention?

November 11, 2015

An Arkansas woman has been charged with child endangement when her baby ended up in the hospital with a blood alcohol level of .19%. She allegedly told police that her mother had suggested rubbing alcohol on his gums for teething pain, so she put bourbon in his bottle. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬ ‪#‎yourmoveFlorida‬ ‪#‎andthesepeoplecanVOTE‬

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Walmart workers are trying to get the chain to extend the general merchandise 10% employee discount to food. Walmart is no doubt countering with “Are you kidding? On our wages you already get a discount through food stamps..

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On Veteran’s Day it’s so nice to see all the GOP candidates who want to expand our military also talk about how we need to pour money into more veterans’ healthcare and other services. ‪#‎sarcasm‬

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The end of a San Francisco era. Carol Doda, 78, has passed away after a long illness. Maybe her next of kin had time to order a special (double) bubble top coffin?

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Bob Dole has just endorsed Jeb Bush for President. How sad. Didn’t realize that Senator Dole was suffering from dementia.

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Joe’s Crab Shack is eliminating tipping at their 113 restaurants, and upping their minimum wage from $2.13 for waitstaff to $14 an hour. That stampeding sound you probably hear is all Joe’s really good waiters and waitresses heading to jobs at other restaurants.

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Okay, after all Marco Rubio’s criticism of liberal arts- apparently he’s been slamming philosophers for months, what’s HIS undergraduate degree from Florida? A Bachelor of Arts in Political Science.

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Marco Rubio says we need more welders and less (sic) philosophers. With Rubio and his fellow candidates’ general world views I can understand why they’re against philosophy – the philosophy course I took at Stanford was “Principles of Logic.”

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A Tempe city councilman, who said he had recent back surgery, and who presumably took advantage of an free sideline football pass, is now suing Arizona State claiming the school mascot jumped on him and injured his back.
‪#‎ifonlyhewerearmed‬

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A Bloomingdale’s holiday catalog featured a picture of a man looking a a laughing woman with the “spike your best friend’s eggnog when they’re not looking.” What’s next, will the store decide their new holiday spokesman will be Bill Cosby?

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Donald Trump, defending his plan to deport 11 millions illegals and arguing with John Kasich, said “I built an unbelievable company worth billions and billions of dollars,” so “I don’t have to listen to this man.”
Have to wonder, in building and maintaining that “unbelievable company,” how many of those Trump has employed are illegals?

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Wow, just wow. So last week, pictures were released of Greg Hardy’s ex-girlfriend, covered in bruises. And this week Hardy briefly changed his Twitter handle to “Perfection,” and his bio “Innocent until proven guilty-lack of knowledge & information is just ignorance-the unjust/prejudicial treatment of diff categories of people is discrimination.”
Too soon to start a pool on Hardy’s next arrest?
‪#‎cantfixstupid‬ ‪#‎cantfixbeinganasshole‬

‎Donald  Trump‬ wants to deport 11 million people and have immigrants in future only arrive for legal reasons, like marrying rich older men.

Drudge Report founder Matt Drudge apparently asked on Twitter “Can we talk about Hillary’s wig?’ For all those who thought we couldn’t go any lower than the Starbucks cup controversy….

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You had one job.

November 10, 2015

The cover of the Washington Nationals 2016 calendar.  For the uninitiated, or merely nearsighted, yes, that is the Green Monster, and yes, that IS Fenway Park, (Boston.)

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park

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Regarding that Starbucks “no snowflakes on the Christmas cups” controversy. Uh, have any of those complaining actually checked the average weather in Bethlehem in December, or indeed any time in “winter?” There’s a reason those nativity scenes don’t have anyone including baby Jesus bundled up in a coat.

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Donald Trump, jumping into the Starbucks fray. says “maybe we should boycott” the coffee chain. But added “if I become president, we’re all going to be saying, ‘Merry Christmas’ again. That I can tell you.”
Trump doesn’t even need to become President, if he just gets the 2016 nomination Hillary will be saying “Merry Christmas, and thank you Santa Claus.”

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So when are we going to hear from the Jews that Starbucks not having an option of blue cups is disrespecting Hanukkah?

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We interrupt the Starbucks cups and Pyramid/grain silos stories to bring you breaking political news. In response to a NY Times poll that has gone viral, Jeb Bush said “Hell yes, I would” kill baby Hitler….. ‪#‎beammeupScottiethereisnointelligentlifeonthisplanet‬

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After the football team refused to play over “systemic” racism on campus, and the president’s handling of that racism, Tim Wolfe, the Univ. of Missouri president finally resigned this morning. Makes sense. Racism is serious. But football is REALLY serious.

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Had to love it today.   Twitter knew security checkpoints at ‪#‎MIAAirport‬ were closed, ‪#‎AmericanAirlines‬ phone agents didn’t know, & it was THEIR planes.   Then their phone agents say “tell passengers to go talk to airport agents.”   Right. Both of the human agents left at airport could handle thousands of stuck people.

(the post security gate agents, as it turned out,  were sent out to mill around in the pre-security area with passengers…..where they were apparently equally clueless.  #tryingtomakeUnitedAirlines look good?)

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An Ohio man with a blood alcohol level of .30 was arrested after he got a 9-year-old boy to drive him to get some barbecue sauce. (Store officials interceded and wouldn’t let the boy drive home.) Not sure on the guy’s bail and final charges, but I do see a major endorsement opportunity ahead. ‪#‎howmuchdoyouloveoursauce‬?

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Reggie Bush is suing the city of St. Louis after he injured himself slipping on the concrete sideline during 49ers-Rams game Nov 1. Wonder if St. Louis will try to get the suit thrown out -under the grounds that Bush has no personal regard for his own well being as evidenced by him having dated a Kardashian.

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So now “One Million Moms” is protesting American Girl Magazine for feature a family with four adopted children and gay fathers. Three words: “Pro-life my ass.”

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The Carolina Panthers say they will replace an expensive banner that a Packers fan brought to yesterday’s game saying “Carolina Cheesehead,” this after Cam Newton tore the thing down and took it. Well, good to see the NFL can move quickly when it’s important violence against banners.

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Bob Gibson turned 80 today. Wonder if he celebrated by brushing his grandchildren off the cake plate.

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Pancaked?

November 8, 2015

A huge sinkhole has swallowed more than a dozen cars in the parking lot of a new IHOP parking lot in Meridian, Miss. Kind of hard to stand your ground when the ground won’t stand.

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Adam Vinatieri, 42, kicked a 55 yard field gold to give the Colts the win today over the Broncos and Peyton Manning. Not saying Vinatieri is old, but doesn’t it seem as if he must have also kicked against teams led by Archie Manning?

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The video is horrible, no question, but if you do believe people can learn and change, Ray Rice is sure at least doing a very good imitation of a man who has done both: “I used to have a situation where kids were like, ‘I wanna be like Ray Rice.’ And now I have to think about kids and parents saying, ‘I don’t want you to be like Ray Rice.’ And that haunts me.”
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Former Rep. Michele Bachmann:is now saying “The Holy Spirit is speaking to each one of us (Christians) to help bring in (convert) as many as we can — even among the Jews,” Wow. So does Bachmann think Ben Carson has a chance and she’s angling to be his running mate?
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The buck passes here. Marco Rubio is attributing some of his personal expenses being billed to his GOP credit card – ,”because a travel agent had the credit card number — and they billed it to that card instead of the other card.” This including a Rubio family gathering of 20 rooms for three nights at a resort near Tallahassee starting the day he was sworn in as Florida House Speaker.
Uh, speaking for travel agents everywhere, leaving aside the number of hoops required to bill 20 rooms to one card, you make a mistake more than once like that with a credit card, you’re fired. ‪#‎callingBS‬
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Texas Rep. Mike McCaul, confident that a bomb brought down the Russian plane, is saying that the Obama administration is in large part to blame because they haven’t done enough in the Mideast. And of course there’s no blame on a previous administration for doing too much in the Mideast…

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You know if ‪#‎BenCarson‬ doesn’t want media reporting outrageous things he says maybe he could take a day off from saying outrageous things.

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So the Dallas Cowboys have now lost six games in a row. So maybe Greg Hardy can get legally away with beating up and threatening a woman, but maybe also he can’t hide from that mean bitch karma.

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A U.S jail escapee was arrested in Mexico after police were able to track him i because he was posting selfies on Facebook. He’s being held in a Mexican jail and is facing extradition back to… Idaho? Your move, Florida. ‪#‎Cantfixstupid‬

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Vikings quarterback Teddy Bridgewater, who was elbowed in the head by Rams DB Lamarcus Joyner today, has been diagnosed with a concussion. If the NFL really wanted to stop this sort of thing it would be simple – injure a starter with an illegal hit that gets you fined, and you are out until they can return, even if it’s a season ending injury.

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Oxford, MS, for the tweet of the month, maybe the year, after the Razorbacks shred the Ole Miss defense and win 53-52 in OT –

@OxfordPolice   Asking us to kick the Arkansas QB out of the stadium is not a legit reason to dial 911. ‪#‎ARKvsMISS‬

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Up in arms?

November 7, 2015

So it’s headline news because “dozens of demonstrators in NYC are protesting NBC’s decision to allow Donald Trump to host SNL? “Dozens?” In California you can get more protesters in most towns over adding a single extra bike lane.

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Donald Trump says he has nixed some of the more “risque” skits tonight in SNL because he wants to stay ahead in Iowa. So the state and their “family values” matters that much to him? What next, will the Donald get a couple of his wives to campaign for him there?

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Ben Carson “Without Fox News we’d be Cuba.” Waiting for his first fellow GOP candidate to say “Well, without the cigars.”

Waiting for today’s crazy statement and thinking  – maybe Ben Carson is just really tired of running for President?

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In Australia, paramedics reportedly no longer ask patients who the prime minister is, because since not enough people know the question doesn’t work for an accurate assessment of patients.
Well, in the U.S. they probably already know not to ask the name of say, the Vice President or a state’s senators.

(or in some states,” how many fingers do you see?”)

Charlie Hebdo is now being criticized by Russia and others for cartoons about the crash of the Russian plane in Egypt. Uh, yeah, it’s a tasteless thing to joke about – tasteless is what Charlie Hebdo does. They are surprised why?

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Ben Zobrist just named his new baby girl “Blaise Royal.” Hmm, probably a good idea Zobrist didn’t get traded to the Mets, Dodgers or Giants.

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For your weekend, or next weekend’s  – tailgating edification  – the quote of the day -“the benefits arising from the moderate use of strong Liquor have been experienced by all armies, and are not to be disputed.” General George Washington

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Students at an off-campus apartment near the University of Alabama have hung a banner before today’s game with LSU. “Finish What Katrina Started.” ‪#‎stayclassy‬

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Kobe Bryant, 37, says he is never playing for another team “I’m a Laker for life/” Well, at this point, as if any other team would want him.

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Your warm and fuzzy story for the day. Three SFO security screeners were arrested on charges of defrauding the government and smuggling cocaine, allegedly allowing “certain passengers with narcotics in their carry-ons to pass through the X-ray machine without checking for security threats like explosives or weapons.
All three workers were contract workers of a private company named Covenant Aviation Security that contracts with TSA to provide screeners. But hey, they reduce costs. ‪#‎whatcouldpossiblygowrong‬?

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Visiting the east coast, staying up out of curiosity to see Trump on SNL,… It’s almost time for the show to start, and the AZ-USC game is heading to the 2nd quarter.  And we wonder why Pac 12 teams get no love/respect?

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From Bill Littlejohn: “Vernon Davis was traded by the 49ers to the Broncos.That must be like going from being dumped by Lindsay Lohan and rebounding with Jennifer Lawrence.”

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Sins of the mothers and fathers?

November 6, 2015

The Mormon church is now saying that gay couples can be kicked out, and their children can no longer receive blessings as infants, be baptized, or serve missions, unless the kids disavow the practice of same-sex relationships, or turn 18 and no longer live with their gay parents.
So the only way you can have two mommies is if both of them are married to your daddy?

Does anyone doubt that if Greg Hardy had a real job instead of playing for the NFL, that he’d be in jail now?

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C.C. Sabathia says now he was “probably still drunk” during some of the Yankees’ last regular season games. Big deal. Youngsters, google Dock Ellis.

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Donovan McNabb was sentenced to 18 days in jail for an “Extreme DUI,” his second DUI arrest in two years. What’s ‘Extreme DUI?” Well, partly it was that he was more than two times over the limit, partly it’s that as a retired NFL player you lose the “Get out of jail free” card.

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Johnny Manziel says he “absolutely” wants to keep the Browns’ starting QB job. You know who else wants him to keep the starting job? Cleveland fans dreaming of the #1 draft pick.

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Ben Carson “So, you know, I would say to the people of America — do you think I’m a pathological liar… Or do you think I’m an honest person? But hey, given resigned American attitudes toward politicians, maybe he’d be better off saying “You say I’m a pathological liar like it’s a bad thing.”

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Jeb Bush has now had to apologize to French officials for criticizing Marco Rubio for missing Senate votes and saying “What is it, like a French workweek?”
But to be fair, it’s not like Jeb has spent much of his life in the public eye. ‪#‎SMH‬ ‪#‎sarcasm‬ ‪#‎notreadyforprimetime‬

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With many districts In California now exposing the biggest water hogs, the drought equivalent excuse to sport’s”tainted supplement” is now a “leaky pipe.”

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In California, warmer than usual Pacific Ocean waters have contributed to a toxic algae bloom that has delayed and might even cancel Dungeness Crab season. No crab? This is the kind of thing that might get even California Republicans on board to fight global warming.

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Thursday in Britain was Guy Fawkes Day. Where the country lights bonfires and celebrates a failed plot to blow up the House of Lords in Parliament – basically their Senate. In the U.S. we don’t need anyone to try to destroy the Senate, we have Ted Cruz.

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So USA Today is reporting that Leonard Fournette’s family may have broken NCAA rules by trying to set up an online business selling T-shirts and hats with a BUGA acronym Fournette had helped develop in high school.
If the allegations are true that could mean sanctions against LSU – said absolutely nobody. ‪#‎SECteamsareneverwrong‬

The Rockefeller Center Christmas tree was put into place Friday in New York, where the temperature was 75 degrees. Maybe instead of a Norwegian spruce they should have ordered a palm tree?

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Different worlds.

November 5, 2015

An astrophysicist at Caltech says he may have found evidence of alternate or parallel universes. Yeah, Americans already knew that. One is inhabited by Democrats, the other by Republicans.

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Cincinnati is 8-0. Who’d a thunk the Bengals would lead the NFL in any category but arrests?

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The National Geographic Society, which was just sold to Rupert Murdoch, announced they will lay off about 180 of its 2,000 employees. Including several people in the fact-checking department. Well, right, I mean, with a Murdoch company, who needs a fact-checking department?

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Former President George H.W. Bush, 91, criticized Rumsfeld and Cheney in his new book. Well, he did only serve one term, is George Sr. trying to prove HE”s the Bush we should send back to the White House?
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The Guardian is reporting that in London, historically one of the world’s most expensive cities, people were camping out overnight for a chance to buy new affordable flats starting at £199,000. (a little more than $300,000.)
Overnight? For those prices in SF people would camp out for a month .

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The NY Post reported that an Apache Indian leader who has been speaking out against the Redskins name, posted a picture of himself dressed up as Bob Marley in blackface for Halloween.
Sigh. Once again, proof that no race has a monopoly on hypocrisy.

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The Detroit Lions have fired their President and GM, and owner Martha Ford said “we want to make it clear that we have no intention of giving up on the season. We expect our team to compete and improve and win.”
Did they legalize marijuana in Michigan and not tell us?

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Ok, so qualifying for the next GOP debate on Fox Business Network are Trump, Carson, Rubio, Cruz, Bush, Fiorina, Kasich and Paul.   Apparently I was mistaken, thought the prime-time debate was reserved for only the candidates who could actually win.

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Carly Fiorina: “GOP is a conservative party. Conservative voters will pick our nominee. The conservative networks should host our debates! ” Maybe nobody told Carly that after the primaries there’s actually a general election?

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Warriors owner Joe Lacob now says that he and his fiancée slept with the NBA championship trophy in their Cleveland hotel room. “I had made a promise to myselI would sleep with the trophy that night. Nicole and I did sleep with it. I’ll leave it to the imagination. We had a lot of fun with it.” ‪#‎TMI‬ ‪#‎classnothingbutclass‬

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George Barris, 91, who created the original Batmobile, has died. Friends and family interested in going to his funeral have been instructed to turn back tomorrow. Same Bat time, same Bat channel.

The SF Chronicle reported that the SF Public Utilities Commission has released a list of their top water users in 2014. #1 was the Menlo Country Club, which used 320,842 gallons a day in Sept, enough for 7,825 typical San Francisco homes., and 66,322 gallons more than the utilities commission allotted the club with the current drought.
Yeah, once again, only little people care about water.

From Marc Ragovin:  “Jeb Bush’s new campaign slogan is “Jeb Can Fix It.” Is he running for president or to become a new Pep Boy?”

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Ben Carson, on the pyramids in Egypt, which he thinks were NOT built as pharaohs’ graves. “My own personal theory is that Joseph built the pyramids to store grain.”
And some say it doesn’t matter that students don’t have to take much history to go to med school. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬ ‪#‎cantfixignoranteither‬

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And finally, okay, friends and readers, time for a new game – what historical question would YOU like ask Ben Carson?

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Testing, one two three four, testing….

November 4, 2015

Next week, Wisconsin will begin drug testing welfare recipients. Fine. Can they drug test EVERYONE who receives a pay check from the state? Starting with the legislature?

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Jeb Bush is now polling at 4% nationwide. Thinking not even the Supreme Court can turn those numbers into a win.

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Sen. Bernie Sanders has introduced legislation to end federal laws banning marijuana. Presumably Bernie still has hopes of his younger fan base?

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Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University is talking about hosting the final GOP Presidential debate in January. Right, so we don’t have any accusations about bias as we did with CNBC. ‪#‎sarcasm

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The Dodgers have announced they will raise ticket prices from 10% to 25% next year. Makes sense, it’s not as if the team can make any real money by going deep into the postseason.

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Frontier Airlines is raising checked and carry-on bag fees by $5 to $10 for flights anytime between Nov. 19, 2015 to Jan. 5, 2016. Spirit Airlines is adding a $2 bag surcharge from Dec 16 to Jan 4.
So if you don’t get enough crying babies and children while flying during the holidays, you’re also more likely to be stuck on a plane with cranky parents.

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First Jimmy Fallon injured his fingers in two falls, now new Daily Show host Trevor Noah had an emergency appendectomy this morning. Seeming like these late night Comedy shows are hazardous to your health.

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The first College Football Playoff rankings are out. And Alabama, 7-1, jumped over several undefeated teams to make into the top 4 along with Clemson, LSU and OSU. “I am shocked” said nobody who pays attention to college football. ‪#‎SECbias‬

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Beginning to think the best strategy for these GOP Presidential candidates is to keep quiet and be thought a fool. Florida Sen. Marco Rubio, asked if he could have a beer with someone nonpolitical, mentioned 18-year-old Pakistani Muslim activist Malala Yousafzai.

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Campus police at the University of Merced fatally shot a man who allegedly stabbed five students this morning. None of the students reportedly have life-threatening injuries. If only the suspect had been armed.

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Donald Trump has deleted a tweet he retweeted with anti-Jeb Bush pictures, including an image where the Bush family was depicted as Nazis. Wonder how long it will take Trump to find another “young intern” to blame this one on?

The NCAA has selected Levi’s Stadium in Santa Clara for the 2019 College Football Playoff National Championship Game. Seems pretty unlikely that the 49ers will have any use for the field in January.

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At a San Francisco Bloomingdale’s, a shoplifter allegedly stole a purse pulled a hatchet on a security guard to make her getaway. Wow, it’s barely after Halloween and the crooks are in holiday form.

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Moving on 2015

November 3, 2015

So it will be Dusty Baker who will be the new manager of the Nationals. Have to think after Obama it’s “deja vu all over again.” Another black man heading to Washington to fix a mess a white man left.

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The  NFL’s Tennesee Titans have fired coach Ken Whisenhunt. So sorry for those who had Jim Tomsula in the pool

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So at this point with the SF 49ers would TIm Tebow actually even accept the QB job? This year’s team seems less in need of God than St. Jude.

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In Ohio today, voters rejected legalizing marijuana. So  I guess the state’s residents decided that the only legal way to transcend reality in the state is to root for  the Browns

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A Taco Bell spokesman has been fired after his alleged assault of an Uber driver was caught on a video cam. This I think is not what the company meant when they wanted him to promote their Doritos Locos.

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In Mississippi, a Tupelo man who was unhappy the store didn’t sell Confederate flag was charged with allegedly setting off an explosive at a Walmart Sunday morning. Well, they think he set off a small bomb. Either that or it was just what the place looked like after their Halloween sale.

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Notice when NFL coaches are fired the teams always say they want to move in a different direction? And then the lousy teams just keep going in the same direction.

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The GOP is vowing “more bipartisanship” in Washington. Well, they could hardly vow less.

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Urban Meyer said he told QB J.T. Barrett, suspended 1 game, “How do you deal with 20 years of doing right and 30 seconds of doing wrong, or three minutes, or whatever it was, That’s real life.”
Uh, first, it takes a lot more than doing wrong for 3 minutes to get a DUI and an attempted evasion of a checkpoint, second in “real life” you don’t get slapped on the wrist for doing both.

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Larry Lessig announced he iis ending his bid for the Democratic Presidential nomination. And even Lincoln Chafee is going “who?”

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So after the 49ers gave Colin Kapernick a seven-year $126 million contract they are now benching him. With that kind of pay to performance, wouldn’t the SF 49ers’ QB be better suited to Congress?

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A man brought his 4-year old daughter to the tattoo shop he owns and let her tattoo his arm. Do I have to say – Florida? ‪#‎ifonlyheownedagunshop‬

woman is suing Nike for $1.3 million after she said she was injured during a running event where participants were not allowed to use anything but Nike equipment. Hmm, I see a whole new revenue source for lawyers with college and professional athletes.

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Now Volkswagen is admitting that they also understated carbon dioxide emissions and overstated mileage on some 800.000 models. Uh, at this point would it be simpler to list what the car maker WAS honest about?

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Moving on.

November 3, 2015

Rough World Series for New York fans. Now they’ll have to go back to being disappointed by the Jets, Giants and Knicks.

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There are rumors that Jimmy Fallon may have a worrisome drinking issue after three recent injuries. Hoping for his sake it’s not true…. but if it is, would NBC want Leno to come back as a temporary fill-in? Beginning to think the guy has more lives than a cat.

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A woman who was a 2014-15 Alabama’s Teacher of the Year has resigned. This after she was moved from teaching 2nd grade to 5th, and then told she didn’t have the qualifications to teach fifth-graders. Shocking. Alabama has teaching qualifications?

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Obama ordered federal agencies to “ban the box” in their hiring decisions, meaning they can’t ask prospective government employees about their criminal histories on job applications. Who says the President never does anything for Congress?

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Activision-Blizzard is acquiring Candy Crush’s maker for $5.9 billion. $5.9 billions? Wow. In the days after Halloween aren’t you supposed to get a discount on candy?

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Police have charged a Houston man with murder, saying he fatally stabbed his friend for taking the last piece of chicken at dinner. Your move, Florida, ‪#‎ifonlytheywerebotharmed‬

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ESPN is reporting that the SF 49ers are benching QB Colin Kaepernick for Blaine Gabbert. Which is the NFL equivalent of rearranging desk chairs on the Titanic?

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The SF 49ers have also shipped TE Vernon Davis to the Denver Broncos for future draft picks. Hardest thing for Davis at this point – wiping that sh*t-eating grin off his face as he cleans out his locker.

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So besides being suspended for 1 game, Ohio State QB J.T. Barrett will lose his scholarship for the summer term after being arrested for DUI and trying to avoid a checkpoint (“backing without safety.”)
This punishment means that unless he pays tuition himself, Barrett will not be able to work out with the team over the summer, but his scholarship will resume next fall. Assuming J.T. doesn’t declare for the NFL draft. ‪#‎whosaysUrbanMeyerdoesnthavestandards‬ ‪#‎sarcasm‬

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The EPA is saying now that Volkswagen SUVs also used cheating software to get around U.S. emission standards. Ah, for the good old days when the most corrupt people in the car business were simply some used-car salesmen.

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Fox is now slamming CNBC for their non “substantive”” questions in the last GOP debate and saying they will do better in their next Fox Business debate. With more questions like this from the first Fox debate? “I want to know if any of [the candidates] have received a word from God on what they should do and take care of first,”

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Now Donald Trump’s campaign says they will negotiate separately and “directly with the host network to establish debate criteria that will determine Mr. Trump’s participation.”
Guessing one of the questions the Donald will not allow would be one about how he expects to work collaboratively with Congress and various world leaders.

Donald Trump also now says he turned down an invitation to be on the “boring and low-rated” Last Week Tonight with John Oliver .And the show responded on Twitter “Couple of points. 1. Yes, we have a boring show. 2. At no point did we invite Donald Trump to appear on it.
So at what point does Trump realize, if he offends every single media outlet, who’s going to cover his outbursts?

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From Alex Kaseberg  “This Halloween, a kid came to our door dressed as Mets player, Daniel Murphy. At first he was a big hit, but then he kept dropping his candy.”

(And of course it would be perfect if the candy he dropped was rainbow skittles.)

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Royal flush

November 2, 2015

Harold Reynolds tonight in the World Series compared ‪Matt Harvey‬, who pitched a great game, to ‪MadBum‬. Uh, not exactly.

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For who compare Terry Collins’ decision to let Harvey‬ finish to 2014 Game 7 remember, Bochy probably couldn’t have wrestled ‪Madbum‬ off mound.

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Not sure but in this ‪#‎WorldSeries‬ maybe God decided to gently tell Daniel Murphy that He/She doesn’t disagree with the “gay lifestyle.”

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Had to love Fox analysis before World Series Game Five “This is a must win for the NY Mets.” Ya think?

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Bad news for baseball fans – no more games until 2016. Good news for baseball fans, no more Joe Buck until 2016

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In retrospect, so how good were the Houston Astros? ‪#‎closesttobeatingtheRoyals‬

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Tony Bennett singing before the World Series. Did MLB sign him up earlier in 2015 because they figured the ‪#‎SFGiants‬ would be back in it?

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All the hype over the Rodgers-Manning matchup with Packers-Broncos today, and Brees and Eli Manning put them both to shame.

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It’s easier to laugh when you win.  After the Saints win, coach Sean Payton joked “Brees had 7 TDs but we told him the game ball was going to the kicker”
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Entering the 4th quarter, Drew Brees had 6 TD and 6 incompletions.
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All ‪#‎Saints‬ & ‪#‎Stanford‬ football fans have absolutely no need to visit doctor anytime soon for cardiac stress tests. ‪#‎Whodat‬‪#‎Nerdnation‬
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Had that Washington State field goal at the end of the game not gone wide right, a whole new generation of fans at Stanford would have grown up debating the tuck rule.
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While the Saints‬ and Giants‬ were breaking records in New Orleans, fans in SF Bay Area had to watch the 49ers Rams game.
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#‎GregHardy‬ left today’s game with an apparent knee injury. “I feel so sorry for him” said nobody.

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An allegedly drunk woman is recovering with serious hand injuries after being bitten by a tiger on Halloween night – she said she had sneaked into the zoo to pet the tiger. Nope, not Florida. Omaha. Looks like Nebraska is making a strong play in this week’s ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬ competition.

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The NFL International series now has three games a year in London, so Brits get to see six franchises. And every year seems like one of them is actually a real professional team. ‪#‎nottheLions‬

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A white female South Carolina sheriff captain has been criticized for dressing up as Bob Marley for Halloween, with a t-shirt featuring a marijuana leaf, and wearing blackface. She has apologized, says she had no idea it might be offensive, and has not been disciplined.
Okay, maybe she isn’t racist, but can you suspend someone for criminal stupidity?

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Paul Ryan, who made family time a condition of running for House Speaker, said today he will not support legislation guaranteeing paid family leave. “I don’t think people asked me to be speaker so I can take more money from hard-working taxpayers, so I can create some new federal entitlement.”
In other words, I got mine, the rest of you suckers are on your own.

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Nothing is Urban Meyer’s fault

November 1, 2015

Ohio State starting QB J.T. Barrett, 20, was arrested for alleged DUI after police saw him trying to evade a checkpoint. Urban Meyer has suspended him for the Buckeyes’ game against Minnesota, Nov 7, but Barrett will be back for games against Michigan State and Michigan. Well, of course he will. ‪#‎UrbanMeyer‬

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Great timing at least on the arrest of OSU’s starting QB, he will be back from his one game suspension in time for the mid-November release of coach Urban Meyer’s new book “Above the Line: Lessons in Leadership and Life.”

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Kentucky coach John Calipari drew the order for today’s Breeder’s Cup Classic horse race. Makes sense, Calipari is a good fit with talented young athletes who don’t go to class.

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So it wasn’t the  Triple Crown, but ‪#‎AmericanPharoah‬ put on another damned impressive performance. Spend 2 minutes if you can and watch the replay ‪#‎BreedersCup‬

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Tim Tebow went as a SWAT officer for Halloween. Good thing it’s just a costume, with Tebow’s reputation for accuracy this is one guy you probably don’t ever want to see in a job needing a gun.

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So the RNC is so upset at CNBC parent NBC they have suspended future debates. But Donald Trump, who complained as much as anyone, doesn’t seem angry enough to give up the SNL hosting. ‪#‎nosuchthingasbadpublicity‬?

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It wasn’t that long ago that if someone told you Duke was favored over Miami you would think it had to be basketball

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So how did Miami score that game-winning touchdown against Duke without the help of the Stanford band?

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Better to be lucky than good? Or lucky and good? ‪#‎Stanford‬ ‪#‎wideright‬

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Royals fans at Kaufmann Stadium were surprisingly nice last year about the SF Giants and friendly to their fans. Just guessing that assuming the World Series goes back to Kansas City, the Mets’ Noah Syndergaard made sure that won’t happen again.

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After a costly E-4 tonight for Daniel Murphy, beginning to think that Westboro Baptist Church endorsement might not have been the best karma for the Mets second baseman.

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So the 49ers are having a disappointing season, their QB is regressing, and fans are having a hard time selling unused tickets. What does the team do… waive one of the few popular players – former Australian Rugby League star Jarryd Hayne.
Winning with class or losing with an ass? ‪#‎JedYork‬

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In California, four cities haven’t cut their water use enough during the drought and will be fined $61,000 apiece – the Coachella Valley Water District, Indio, Redlands, and Beverly Hills. Okay, $61,000 for the city of Beverly Hills?! On Rodeo Drive that’s almost enough to buy a purse.

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On Halloween, what could possibly be scarier than the fact that Ben Carson and Donald Trump are leading the GOP polls?

Chris Christie, angry with a NY Times editorial that suggested he drop out of the Presidential race and go back to doing his job in NJ, where he has lost touch. “They are worried I will beat their candidate, Hillary Clinton.”
Uh, Governor Christie, it actually might be proof you’re out of touch if you think the Times has been pro-Hillary Clinton

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California dreaming.

October 30, 2015

So now the GOP says they won’t have any more debates on NBC. Does this mean Trump might even be sending Megyn Kelly flowers?

California Governor Jerry Brown says that Ted Cruz is “absolutely unfit” to run for the presidency due to his position on climate change. Wow. How did Jerry single out one reason.

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Charles Barkley has “guaranteed” that the Knicks make the playoffs this year. Really?! Is he talking about the NBA playoffs or the NCAA men’s tournament.?

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Jeb Bush says his campaign is “not on life support.” True dat. Life support requires a pulse.

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The University of Louisville apologized yesterday after a picture was released of university president James Ramsey and others dressed up in Mexican ponchos and sombreros at a Halloween party. Well, at least they didn’t dress up as basketball players and prostitutes.

An email released today showed that Hillary Clinton, 68, had to ask for help to type an emoticon on her Blackberry. Said most 60 somethings “What’s an emoticon?” Said most people under 30, “What’s a Blackberry??

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So now the GOP says they won’t have any more debates on NBC. Does this mean Trump might even be sending Megyn Kelly flowers?

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Still controversy over whether NBC should have invited Donald Trump to host SNL this weekend. Thinking at this point what those protests are most doing is getting people to wonder what the fuss is about and thinking about tuning into SNL.

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All of these GOP candidates want Americans to believe they can stand up to our enemies like Al Qaeda and ISIS. When they can’t even stand up to CNBC?

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Chevron cutting up to 7,000 jobs, because their profits have fallen to only $2 billion. Some statements would be funnier if they didn’t need a punchline.

So should the real headline tonight be ‪#‎NYMets‬ again postpone NY sports fans having to come to terms with the ‪#‎Knicks‬?

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Actually the after triple overtime for Oregon-ASU in a game that started at 1030pm Thursday Eastern time, following the 14 inning World Series game 1 Tuesday. Thinking a lot of East Coast sports fans are really thanks to the Mets for making Friday’s game a bit of a late blow out. And for that extra hour of sleep this weekend.
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From Bill Littlejohn : ” Charles Haley has been brought in to talk to Greg Hardy.Isn’t that like bringing in Freddy Kruger to talk some sense into Jason?”

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Big cats.

October 29, 2015

Thursday was National Cat Day. And cats are thinking, uh, EVERY day is National Cat D

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In South Africa this week, a lion attacked a party of five men hunting illegally, killing one man and two dogs. Apparently mean bitch Karma also wanted to celebrate National Cat Day.

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Ironic that on ‪#‎NationalCatDay‬ the GOP has elected a new Cat Herder ‪#‎PaulRyan‬

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There are arguments over who won yesterday’s GOP debate. But it seems to me the real winners are obvious- anyone who chose to watch the World Series instead.

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Really? There are are headlines about Farrah Abraham, who apparently has a sex tape and was on “Teen Mom,” now sharing her third boob job on the internet. It’s enough to make you long for the intellectualism of the Kardashians..

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Kareem Abdul-Jabbar on the 2015-16 Lakers: “I think they’ll surprise people and I’ll expect them to make the playoffs at least.” Quick, can someone check Kareem for concussions?

In New York City, a new law says people applying for jobs will no longer be required to disclose a criminal history, What, were they having problems finding enough applicants to staff Wall Street?

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Walmart is rolling out their first big holiday sale this weekend. So what’s next, Black Halloween?

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Don Mattingly is new ‪#‎Marlins‬ manager . But really, shouldn’t job title be “Interim manager?” With Marlins they’rel ALL interim managers.

The NFL had a town meeting Thursday on potentially moving the Raiders to Los Angeles. Right about now SF Bay Area fans are thinking – could you take the 49ers instead?

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The NBA is partnering with Kia to put a Kia Motors Crop. logo on player jerseys for the next two All-Star games. Right, because when you think of a car that would be driven by very wealthy very tall men you think of Kia.

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Not a fan of the new Speaker of the House and fully expect he will make me angry in short order. But on the other hand, all these fundraising emails with the headline “Stop Paul Ryan”, can we at least wait until he tries to do something before we “stop” him? ‪#‎bipartisandreaming‬

Not that the  ‪#‎Bush‬ brothers don’t love each other. But isn’t there a chance that somewhere W. is sitting back smirking “Now who’s the dumb one?

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Chef Anthony Bourdain said today, that “every restaurant in America would shut down” if Donald Trump won the Presidency,” because restaurants rely so much on immigrant labor. Yet another fool who thinks that if Trump somehow won he would actually honor his campaign rhetoric. ‪#‎Trumphotelsandconstructionprojectsneedimmigrantlabortoo‬

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An Uber driver in St. Petersburg, FL, was arrested after he apparently traded a prostitute a ride for oral sex. Talk about surge pricing.

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CNBC had a bad night with the GOP debate, no question. But with all these GOP candidates calling for substantive questions and dealing with major serious issues, which of them wants to be the first to say “Enough on Benghazi and arguing over what Planned Parenthood did with fetal tissue”?

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Good news, bad news.

October 29, 2015

The good news, Fox didn’t lose power for game 2 of the World Series. Bad news, baseball fans had to listen to Joe Buck for the whole game.

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Tough question Wednesday night for many Americans – what was more likely to drive them to drink  – listening to the GOP debate, or Joe Buck and company in the Fox World Series booth?

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So A-Rod was in the Fox broadcast booth. Is Fox trying anything that will make Joe Buck sound good by comparison? ‪#‎WorldSeries‬

(my friend Renee says “A-Rod has a voice for newsprint.”)

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The NFL has fined Steelers’ C William Gay $5,787 for wearing purple cleats in honor of his mother and other victims of domestic violence. Even though the league has had the pink theme for breast cancer all October.
So this is because the NFL really has nothing to do with domestic violence?
‪#‎sarcasm‬ ‪#‎heavysarcasm‬

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Donald Trump said in a Sioux City speech “If I lose Iowa, I will never speak to you people again” ‪#‎promise‬?

Yesterday Kylie Jenner was voted one of Time Magazine’s 30 “Most Influential Teens.” ‪#‎beammeupScottytheresnointelligentlifeonthisplanet‬

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The NY Jets signed punter Steve Weatherford last week when their regular punterr, Ryan Quigley, was sidelined due to an infection. Now that Quigley is better the Jets cut Weatherford after 4 days. Four days. That’s not a football contract it’s a Hollywood marriage.

A NORAD blump that surveys the East Coast got loose in Maryland was flying free over Pennsylvania. It has now been secured. Wonder which major airline will now institute a “blimp avoidance” fee?

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Bills WR Sammy Watkins, angry with fans complaining about him being injured, took to Instagram to call them “losers,” and add “so continue working y’all little jobs for the rest of your lives….. go have a blessed day.”
Of course, “losers” with “little jobs” in Buffalo could save a lot of money staying home from Bills games.
‪#‎Cantfixstupid‬

If you are reading this and didn’t know Wednesday was National Chocolate Day, you’ve just missed it. So double or nothing?

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Chris Christie, saying he’s the best choice against Hillary Clinton: “You put me on the stage with her next September and she won’t get within 10 miles of the White House.” So does Christie have a friend with control of D.C. area bridges?

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The four lowest-polling GOP Presidential candidates were on earlier  Wednesday in the pre-debate “happy hour” debate. So called because you need to be getting drunk to watch it?

Bobby Jindal tonight at the kid’s table debate said that the U.S. is “going the way of Europe.” Thinking after 6 years of Jindal a lot of folks in Louisiana think Europe sounds pretty good.

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This could go on all day and night….

October 27, 2015

Thanks to ESPN’s insisting that the MLB season start on a Sunday night, and in 2015, April 5, the World Series just got started tonight. Finally.  Millions of Americans have been eagerly awaiting the November Classic.

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The World Series was actually delayed tonight over Fox’s unexplained technical difficulties. Maybe even God has had enough of Joe Buck.

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But really, Fox having broadcast outage at ‪the #‎WorldSeries‬?   Well, maybe if the network had actually practiced by regularly showing baseball this season?

During the postgame show Joe Buck talked about  ‪#‎WorldSeries‬ game 2 “tomorrow in Kansas City.”  Uh, Joe, after 14 innings, more like tonight.

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First time I’ve seen even a little bat flip on a sacrifice fly. ‪#‎Hosmer‬ ‪#‎WorldSeries‬ ‪#‎Royals‬

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But give Hosmer credit, that sacrifice fly must have felt really good after he picked a really bad time to channel Bill Buckner.

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So do the ‪#‎Mets‬ have a special voodoo doll they bury near first base during the ‪#‎WorldSeries‬?

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Harold Reynolds, doing his best to match Joe Buck on the stupid scale. “this is about as evenly matched a World Series as I’ve heard people talk about in years.” Uh, except for last year that came down to one-run in game 7?

The NY Daily News reported Tuesday night that Derek Jeter is engaged. Apparently the Yankees really really don’t like being out of the October spotlight.

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When  ‪#‎WorldSeries‬ game one started Bartolo Colon had barely started shaving.

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An injured deer walked into a Rochester, NY, emergency room. Assume the staff fawned over him.

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REI says it will close all stores on Black Friday and pay their employees to be outside that day. Hope not too many of those employees decide “outside’ means waiting outside other stores

Taco Bell has introduced new croissant breakfast tacos. Yet another consequence of states legalizing marijuana?

-The Texans have released QB Ryan Mallett after he was late for meetings Saturday and missed the team’s charter flight to Miami. I can hear the cries from Houston now “Tebow, Tebow, Tebow.!!!”

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Oracle announced they will build a public charter “Design Tech” high school on its Redwood City, California campus. The idea presumably being to hire some of these kids before they do something silly like go to college.

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Walgreen’s is acquiring Rite Aid. Another step on the path to one national drug store change and one airline.

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Charles Koch is bemoaning a lack of substance and civility in the 2016 Presidential race “It’s mainly about personalities, and ‘your mother sucked rotten eggs.” Yeah, well, Dr. Frankenstein also ended up not being thrilled with his monster.

Donald Trump’s response to his drop in the polls. “I don’t get it.”   Hey, when he’s right, he’s right.

John Kasich talking about his GOP competition on the eve of the next debate. “I’ve about had it with these people. I want you to know I’m fed up. I’m sick and tired of listening to this nonsense and I’m going to have to call it like it is in this race.”
With all due respect, so until now he’s not been “calling it like it is” why?

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Is it too soon to start a pool on the next arrest date for Greg Hardy? ‪#‎Cowboys‬ ‪#‎NFL‬

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Alex Kaseberg, co-piloting me on the bus-to-hell tonight.  “After sustaining a serious 4th-of-July fireworks hand injury, Jason Pierre-Paul agreed to terms with New York Giants. Jason was so happy, he gave the Giants a high-three.”

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In the lurch

October 26, 2015

Dirk Nowitzki went as Lurch for a Halloween Party last weekend. Not to be outdone, now Lurch is planning to go as Dirk Nowitzki.

lurch

The NFL today officially filed their appeal of Tom Brady’s successful appeal of his Deflategate suspension. If this keeps up the case should finally be adjudicated just in time for Brady’s first Old Timers’ game.

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Forget the ‪SuperBowl‬. How much worse does it get for Ravens‬ before John ‪Harbaugh‬ starts looking to try to compete with brother Jim in college bowls?

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Dallas coach Jason Garrett said today that Greg Hardy needs to do better at “channeling” his emotions, but the the DE won’t be disciplined after his altercations with an assistant coach and teammates.
It’s all part of the Cowboys’ strict “12 strikes and you’re out” policy

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An Indiana woman is recovering from being shot in the foot after she put her shotgun on the ground without the safety catch while hunting. Her dog stepped on the gun and it went off. The dog’s name is Trigger. Your move, Florida.

(so have to wonder, is Trigger’s middle name “happy?”)

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Whole Foods has recalled chicken and pasta salad over possible listeria. Well, 99% of Americans are safe – they can’t afford to shop at Whole Foods.

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New Jersey drivers apparently pay the highest tolls in the U.S., 20 cents out of every dollar collected. Mostly presumably to get out of New Jersey.

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The WHO has said processed meats like bacon and sausages are grade 1 carcinogens, the same category as asbestos, alcohol, arsenic and tobacco.

Hmm, I see a new GOP way to fix social security’s money woes – have all Americans eat more hot dogs.

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So much for all those who think Donald Trump has never faced real adversity – “It’s not been easy for me. I started off in Brooklyn, my father gave me a small loan of $1 million. ”

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Mike Tyson is now saying that Trump “should be president of the United States.” Makes sense, the Donald can be the official candidate of those who’ve been hit on the head too many times.

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Fox News’ Jeanine Pirro, slamming Hillary Clinton, “I watched as the hearing devolved from a search for the truth to theater, political theater.” Uh, doesn’t political theater describe the whole GOP Benghazi witch hunt in the first place?

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Governor Greg Abbott wants to make “sanctuary cities” illegal in Texas. Can someone really make Abbott’s head explode and propose a Texas law that would require checking someone’s immigration status when they try to buy a gun?

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T.C. on national tv switching away from the Saints game Sunday.  “Houston fans switched to another game too – golf”

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from Marc Ragovin  “Too bad its not a Mets/Blue Jays World Series. I was really looking forward to Cespedes and Batista meeting at mid-field for the ceremonial bat flip.”

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Be afraid, be very afraid.

October 25, 2015

A Clear Food report found that 10% of vegetarian hot dogs contained meat. Hmm, that might be a higher percentage than regular hot dogs.

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As we move into Halloween week give NBC the early lead for the scariest statement of the week. During a Sunday Night Football commercial they just referred to “Republican front runner Donald Trump.”

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A new AP poll says that Republican voters view Donald Trump as their most electable candidate in 2016. ‪#‎beammeupScottietheresnointelligentlifeonthisplanet‬

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The new president of Guatemala is former TV comedian Jimmy Morales, who has no experience in government, but won tonight in a landslide. ‪#‎PagingJonStewart‬

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The LA Times reports that a survey found 39% of L.A. millennials ‘chronically stressed’ about money. Presumably the other 61% are living with their parents.

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Jimmy Fallon, who badly injured his left hand in a fall at home earlier this year, apparently fell at a Harvard award event yesterday and injured his OTHER hand. Was he chewing gum at the time?

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UCF football coach George O’Leary, whose Golden Knights are 0-8, is retiring effective immediately. Making him luckier than UCF season ticket holders.

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As if I didn’t have enough reasons to hate FOX – First time in California we had the Saints on TV for a Sunday day game in the SF Bay Area, they have a 27-0 lead, and they just came on and said “unless you’re a fantasy owner or a Saints fan that doesn’t live in New Orleans you’re not interested in this game anymore so we are switching to another game”-  Humbug.

(and the Saints almost blew the game. Paging Heidi.)

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Chris Christie was kicked out of an Amtrak “quiet car” this morning. I am sure that has nothing to with what will be a number of unexpected New Jersey rail bridge closures tomorrow.

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Houston Texans QB Ryan Mallett, who said he bought an alarm clock after he said he overslept a training camp practice, missed the team plane to Miami and had to fly commercial for today’s game against the Dolphins. Apparently there is a difference between buying a clock and using a clock.

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The Dallas Cowboys have lost four in a row. No punchline, I just liked writing that.

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Greg Hardy, convicted of domestic violence before his ex-girlfriend didn’t show up for the appeal, apparently he shoved and yelled at teammates on the field in today’s Dallas loss.
Owner Jerry Jones’s response: “He’s, of course, one of the real leaders on this team and he earns it and he earns it with respect from all of his teammates and that’s the kind of thing that inspires a football team.”
Yeah, that’s the kind of attitude that has the Cowboys so beloved outside Texas.

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Former Majority Leader Tom DeLay said that if President Barack Obama issues an executive order to require background checks on some gun sales , the House should consider impeachment proceedings.
Is Delay nuts? Of course the House should not impeach Obama over such an action – now, another Congressional committee to investigate Hillary over her potential involvement, sure, why not?

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Joe Biden said tonight he didn’t run for President simply because at this point he “couldn’t win.” Uh, that hasn’t stopped most of the GOP field.

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Ben Carson said today he is against abortion in all cases, and cited “the many stories of people who have led very useful lives who were the result of rape or incest.” Of course, this is the same Dr. Carson who is against welfare because he thinks it says ‘You can’t take care of yourself and I’m going to give you food stamps, a housing subsidy and free health care….”
So, basically Carson is telling poor girls and women who are victims of rape and incest that they are f*cked twice over.

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Storm watch

October 24, 2015

So despite all the predictions of its strength, Hurricane Patricia basically proved to be over-hyped and comparatively weak. Maybe they should rename it Hurricane Jeb.

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Florida State was upset tonight by Georgia Tech  When a game winning potential field goal was blocked and run back. . The Seminoles haven’t been this embarrassed in recent memory without the police being involved.

(my comedy writing friend T.C. coined the perfect term last week after the MSU-Michigan game – a “kick six.”)

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A man was arrested today on Treasure Island in San Francisco after a chase that started when he stole a police car. Did he figure they’d never track him in one of those…. ‪#‎cantfixstupid‬

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Miami and Clemson players ALMOST got into a pre-game brawl today. Too bad, the brawl might have been more competitive than the game.

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Parts of Texas received up to 30 inches of rain Saturday. Not sure who’s crying more, Texans or Californians.

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So how much worse does the flooding have to get in Texas before Ted Cruz calls again for federal aid?

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As Jeb’s campaign basically seems to be circling the train, maybe it’s time to rewrite conventional wisdom on the Bushes – George H.W. actually looks to be the “smart one.”

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Nate Silver says the NBA may reduce pre-season games starting in 2017. The current number is 8. My guess is that most players and fans think 0 would be a good number.

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Seven high school football players have now died on the field this year. Waiting for someone to say they should be armed.

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Mitt Romney to the Boston Globe this week. “Without Romneycare, I don’t think we would have Obamacare.” You know Obamacare is working when Mitt is back to taking credit.

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Matt Drudge is now commenting on Hillary Clinton’s occasional coughs during the 11-hour Benghazi hearings, saying that and her slow speaking, “obviously induced by meds.” were signs of serious health issues. Well, hell then, let’s have a Congressional committee created to see if Hillary is being honest about her health.

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R.I.P. Maureen O’Hara, 95, She was the last living star of  “Miracle On 34th Street,” the original black-and-white 1947 one. Best Christmas movie ever. See it this year if you haven’t. Not the colorized version.

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Good for you.

October 20, 2015

A new study indicates that instead of fighting cancer, antioxidants in food might actually help the cancer cells grow faster. So once again, maybe the rule is, eat what you want and wait for the studies to change in your favor.

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So just wonder why ANYONE is pitching to Daniel Murphy about now? ‪#‎MetsvsCubs‬

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Jim Webb will drop out of the Presidential race today. Thereby shocking millions of Americans who didn’t yet realize he was in it.

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Meanwhile, over on the GOP side, Lindsey Graham, George Pataki, Rick Santorum. Bobby Jindal and former Jim Gilmore (who?)- are all polling at zero. So considering the margin of error is about 3% they could all be in negative numbers.

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Khloe Kardashian spoke out about Lamar Odom’s hospitalization today, saying the past week has been “incredibly difficult.” “I feel so sorry for her,” said nobody.

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There are rumors that Pete Carroll may leave Seattle and become coach-gm for an NFL team moving to Los Angeles. So Pete misses coaching a Southern California professional team like USC?

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Now Starbucks has a new “Beast Mode frappuccino,” in honor of Marshawn Lynch. So do you have have to order it without saying a word?

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Yesterday a Liberal Prime Minister was elected in Canada. Today the Blue Jays lost 14-2. Waiting for Canadian Conservatives to take a page from their U.S. counterparts and blame Trudeau.

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The French luxury brand Chanel has bought Napa’s St. Supery Estate Vineyards and Winery . The current owner, who started St. Supery in the late 80s, said Channel will “continue (his) vision.” That and slap a label with C’s on it and charge triple the the price.

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Apparently Stanford tailback Christian McCaffrey is now in the Heisman Trophy conversation after gaining 369 all-purpose yards, tops in the FBS this season, against UCLA. If this keeps up McCaffrey may get a trip to New York to watch LSU’s Leonard Fournette accept the award.

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While Oscar Munoz recovers from a heart attack, United Airlines, which has been trying to improve their image, has named Brett Hart, the airline’s executive V.P and general counsel, as acting CEO. Two of Hart’s responsibilities have been United’s “contact centers” and “food services.” Oh, well, he should be just wonderful then…..

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Political consultant Mike Murphy, who leads a pro-Jeb Bush super PAC, dismissed Donald Trump by saying “I don’t think you can be a front-runner if you’re totally unelectable.” So is that what happened to Jeb?

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About a week after RB Derrick Coleman was arrested for DUI, Seattle RB crashed his car today near the team facility. amidst allegations of drag-racing.The Seahawks may have blown the 2015 Super Bowl by going to the air, but these days doesn’t seem like they are that good on the ground either.

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Paul Ryan says he would be willing to serve as Speaker of the House if Republicans will unite. And then presumably the GOP will change their symbol from an elephant to a flying pig?

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Beside demanding unity, Paul Ryan wants to make sure that leading the House GOP will still allow him to spend time for his wife and three children: “I cannot and will not give up my family time.” And of course if Ryan becomes speaker one of his top priorities will be a Family Leave Act…. ‪#‎yeahright‬ ‪#‎familyvalueswhenitsmyfamily‬

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Texas officials announced this week that they will end Medicaid funding for Planned Parenthood clinics, using the excuse that there are allegations that the women’s health organization is profiting from the sale of “aborted baby parts.” Well, at least they will use all the saved money to increase funding for poor mothers and children. Oh, wait, never mind.

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Just wonder how many GOP heads would explode in ‪#‎Texas‬ if pregnant women started bringing guns into hospitals and demanding abortions?

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