Posted tagged ‘A-Rod jokes’
October 5, 2013
Now John Boehner is urging President Obama to negotiate on the shutdown, saying “This is not some damn game.” Well, if it’s not some damn game, why doesn’t the Speaker simply call a damn vote.
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Apparently the elevators at O.co Coliseum have already had issues. Everyone has fingers crossed for the plumbing. When they talk about if Oakland can make it to game 5 or 7 in a series, they may really mean whether the stadium will hold up that long.
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If you don’t have a NL team to root for to get to the World Series, may I suggest Pittsburgh. Not only are the Pirates the underdogs, but they have a fun young team, a beautiful stadium, and oh yeah, it will drive ratings-hungry Fox television executives crazy.
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Dusty Baker was fired by the Reds when Cincinnati once again failed to make it out of the first round, in their third playoff appearance in the last four years. Three in the last four years. Somewhere Cubs fans are just weeping.
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The Atlanta Braves didn’t even sell out their playoff game Thursday night. Maybe to increase attendance they should play during the halftime of a University of Georgia football game?
This Max Scherzer guy is pretty good. Maybe if ESPN and FOX hadn’t been so focused on Yankees-Red Sox more Americans might care about the ALDS because they would have seen the Tigers, and for that matter the As, play several games.
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LA Dodgers hit into so many double plays Friday night; if it weren’t for the color of their uniforms fans might think they are watching the 2013 SF Giants.
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Alex Rodriguez is now suing Bud Selig. Any way they can both lose? #douchebags
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A-Rod says in his lawsuit that ‘MLB is trying to destroy me.” Methinks the Yankees slugger is doing a pretty good job of that by himself.
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Friday night, Alex Rodriguez filed his second lawsuit of the day. This time against the Yankees team doctor and the hospital for misdiagnosing his left hip injury during the 2012 playoffs. Shame A-Rod’s lawyers can’t file a lawsuit against the guy in his mirror.
Jesse Ventura said on CNN’s Crossfire tonight that he might run for President in 2016. Even Donald Trump is thinking “You’re delusional.”
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Another thought on the GOP government shutdown “Kamikaze missions rarely turn out well, least of all for the pilots.” From the editorial pages of that commie pinko rag, the Wall Street Journal.
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Penn Gov. Tom Corbett, asked about his lawyers’ statement comparing legalizing gay marriage to legalizing marriage for children “It was an inappropriate analogy. I think a much better analogy would have been brother and sister.” So what is Corbett doing? Trying to divert media attention from the crazies in Congress?
Let them eat cake, after they put in on layaway first? Nebraska GOP Rep. Lee Terry on still accepting his salary during the shutdown: “Dang straight. I’ve got a nice house and a kid in college, and I’ll tell you we cannot handle it. Giving our paycheck away when you still worked and earned it? That’s just not going to fly.”
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: A-Rod jokes, Boehner jokes, Congress jokes, GOP jokes, Janice Hough, shutdown jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
October 2, 2013
49ers safety Donte Whitner, fined $21,000 by the league for a hit last week, says he is legally changing his name to “Hitner.” Wonder how much the NFL will fine him for that?
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Chelsea Clinton says now that she hopes she and her husband will have a baby in 2014. So, let’s see, it will be about 2060 when that baby runs against Jenna Bush’s baby for President?
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AL Wild Card game is over. And congrats to the Tampa Bay Rays. Otherwise known as “Half of Fox’s Potential World Series Ratings Nightmare.”
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Stan points out about the Pirates’ last time in the playoffs: How long ago was that. Infants born in 1992 can now legally buy & be served alcohol.
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All these night time pictures of the brightly lit Capitol in Washington, D.C. during the government shutdown. Shouldn’t they at least turn out the lights?
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Barbara Boxer of California has a bill most Americans could agree on: If there is a Federal shutdown, Congress doesn’t get paid. (It passed the Senate two years ago, the House wouldn’t vote on it. Why am I not surprised? She’s trying again.)
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A-Rod is now claiming he thought the expensive substances he bought secretly from Biogenesis were legal. If he gets any more duplicitous Rodriguez is going to be recruited to run for Congress.
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One of the scariest things about this shutdown. From CNN: “Both Democrats and Republicans say that a clean spending measure — with no Obamacare amendments, as urged by the president and his allies — would pass the House with support from the Democratic minority and moderate Republicans.”
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Both the Yankees and Cubs are expected to offer Joe Girardi contracts next year. But Girardi supposedly is also toying with moving to television. Of course, with either team right now, there’s a good chance he’d be free to broadcast the MLB playoffs.
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In the midst of Iran’s charm offensive comes news that a new law in the country will allow men to marry their adopted daughters at the age of 13. Insert very un-PC Arkansas/ West Virginia joke here:.
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A new book alleges that the NFL crusaded for two decades to deny the link between football and brain damage, despite increasing scientific research showing otherwise. Well, science always was a liberal commie-pinko theory anyway.
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Excerpt from a letter from Harry Reid to John Boehner:
“I hated the Iraq War. I think I hated it as much as you hate the Affordable Care Act. There were many gut-wrenching nights when I struggled over what I needed to do to end the carnage. In those days, when President Bush was Commander in Chief, I could have taken the steps that you are taking now to block Government funding in order to gain leverage to end the war. I faced a lot of pressure from my own base to take that action. But I did not do that. I felt that it would have been devastating to America.”
Logic, another commie-pinko concept?
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: A-Rod jokes, Clinton jokes, government shut, NFL jokes, playoff jokes, shutdown jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
August 28, 2013
Wow. NJ Gov. Chris Christie called a NY Daily News reporter an “idiot” The paper fired back with a headline “Who you calling an idiot, fatso!” Almost enough to make you look forward to the 2016 Presidential election…
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Tim Tebow has survived the latest cut and looks like he may make the Patriots final roster. Not sure about New England fans but comedy writers everywhere are saying “Thank you, Jesus!”
An international jury began hearings today into allegations that Larry Ellison’s Oracle Team USA illegally modified boats in this year’s America’s Cup. Well, and who’d ever think Larry Ellison would cheat at anything.
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A upcoming Rolling Stone article apparently alleges that while Aaron Hernandez was at the University of Florida, coach Urban Meyer “may have covered up failed drug tests along with two violent incidents” including a drive-by shooting. That would be shocking, responded absolutely no one.
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Is no sport sacred? United States skater Simon Cho has been banned from competing for two years after confessing he had tampered with a Canadian’s skates at the 2011 world team short-track championships in Poland. Next we’ll be hearing about tampering with curling stones.
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According to his lawyer, George Zimmerman will ask the state of Florida to reimburse him up to $300,000 of his legal expenses. Wonder if that means Zimmerman will then turn around and give some of the donations to his legal fund to the state?
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Alex Rodriguez is now 10 homers away from tying Willie Mays for 4th on the all time career list. Per his contract, this would mean a $6 million bonus. Which gives the Yankees 6 million more reasons to wish A-Rod would go away.
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Just guessing, for the forseeable future, if Disney televises anything featuring alums from their past shows, they are not likely to invite Miley Cyrus?
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In Brooklyn, an alleged cellphone thief was caught when he tripped over his own sagging jeans. Karma is not only a bitch, she apparently really is part of the fashion police.
Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz says the company will not cut staff or benefits in anticipation of next year’s Obamacare changes. To be fair, Schultz also didn’t say that Starbucks will not double coffee prices either.
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Okay, for the longest MLB home run in 2013 who had Hunter Pence, 476 feet tonight? Now all of you liars put your hands down.
–Tom Tolbert made an interesting point on KNBR radio about Johnny Manziel’s six hour conversation with NCAA officials. How long does it take to say “Did you get paid for signing autographs?” “Are you sure?”….
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Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: A-Rod jokes, America's Cup jokes, Janice Hough, Miley Cyrus jokes, Starbucks jokes, Urban Meyer jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
August 21, 2013
David Cassidy has been arrested again for DUI, the second time in three years. Looks like the former Partridge Family star was been taking “C’mon, get happy” a little too literally.
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There’s now some buzz in the media over whether or not Tim Tebow will make New England’s final roster. The Patriots have to love this – finally some headlines that don’t involve a Brady injury or murder.
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Wow, just wow. A recent survey of Louisiana Republicans asked who was most to blame for the Government response to Katrina. 22% said George W. Bush. 29% said Barack Obama. (No joke. 44% weren’t sure.)
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A-Rod says he has told his legal team to shut down the rhetoric with MLB and the Yankees because he’s “just focusing on baseball, just baseball.” Translation: “My lawyers are actually making me look WORSE.”
Celebrity Cruise Lines has cancelled four Alaska cruises due to a problem with one of their ship’s motors Carnival’s response “FINALLY, it’s not us.”
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Imitating the airlines? Holland America Line is sending out revised invoices because they say “govt fees and taxes are subject to change” and the actual taxes and fees now exceed their estimates. The increase $4.08 a person. Probably cost more than that to send the invoice.
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A North Carolina man has been arrested for the third time for giving women unwanted backrubs. What’s his defense? That he someday wants to run for Mayor of San Diego?
No word from the NRA after the senseless shooting of a college baseball player in Oklahoma. Half expect someone to say this would not have happened if the young Australian man had been armed.
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Miguel Cabrera played today after appearing to have injured himself again in last night’s game. The Tigers’ star has been playing through a strained lower abdomen, injured hip and banged-up left leg. Gosh, can you imagine how Cabrera would hit if he were healthy?
So much success in sports is due to the luck of the draw on physical gifts. For the Little League World Series, add to that “the luck of the draw on reaching puberty.”
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Although prosecutors had asked for 60 years, Bradley Manning was sentenced to 35 years for leaking government secrets. After precisely the sort of “fair and open trial” Edward Snowden is in Russia trying to avoid.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: A-Rod jokes, Bob FIlner jokes, cruise jokes, David Cassidy jokes, Janice Hough, Tebow jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
August 20, 2013
Tea Party darling and possible 2016 Presidential candidate Ted Cruz released his birth certificate. He was born in Canada to a U.S. mother and a Cuban father, which most legal scholars say qualifies him as a “natural-born citizen” and thus eligible to run under the Constitution. Fine, except do his fans realize that this means it doesn’t matter if Obama was born in Hawaii, in Kenya or on Mars, because his mother was a U.S. citizen, he is also “natural-born.”
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ESPN is reporting that allegedly Miguel Tejada, who was suspended 105 games for amphetamine use this season, was also implicated in the Biogenesis investigation. So MLB had the choice of suspending him for either case. Guess the league chose the option where their drug testing actually WORKED?
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Understatement of the week? In a USA Today story on Egypt, a reservations agent at the Cairo Four Seasons was quoted “We cannot accept any reservations until next Saturday, because as you know, there are bad circumstances around the hotel.
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After a spate of negative publicity, the NCAA has given a waiver to five-year Marine veteran Steven Rhodes to play football at Middle Tennessee State. Originally Rhodes was ruled illegible because he played in a military recreational league. (Now had he played pro-baseball like Chris Weinke or Russell Wilson, it wouldn’t have been a problem in the first place.)
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Dick Van Dyke, 87, barely escaped injury while driving his sports car on Highway 101 near L.A. The Jaguar caught fire and a passing motorist pulled him out of the car before it was engulfed in flames. Glad he’s okay, but 87? Even NFL players are thinking “Dude, ever heard of a car and driver?
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The Obama’s have adopted a second dog, Sunny, the same Portuguese Water Dog breed as Bo due to family allergies. GOP take on the new member of the President’s household? Just another Democrat supported by public funds.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: A-Rod jokes, birther jokes, Bo Obama jokes, Egypt jokes, ESPN jokes, janice hough jokes, Ted Cruz jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
August 18, 2013
Ryan Dempster appeared to have hit Alex Rodriguez deliberately in the ribs with a pitch tonight. A-Rod, however, has to count himself lucky that Bob Gibson is not still playing.
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Red Sox manager John Farrell talking about Dempster hitting A-Rod, “he had to establish his fastball in… I don’t know that he hit him on purpose, I don’t think he did…” He’d have done better defending Dempster by saying “My pitchers are good enough to hit someone intentionally on the first pitch.”
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Although at this point it’s hard to imagine the Red Sox dislike A-Rod anymore than the Yankees GM. Brian Cashman’s relationship with Rodriguez makes George Steinbrenner’s with Billy Martin look positively cuddly.
Wonder how long it will take before the next intentional beaning to A-Rod comes in batting practice.
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The Obama family returned to the White House tonight after a 9 day vacation in Martha’s Vineyard. Many in Congress were critical of the trip, and no doubt more will criticize the President when when they return from their summer recess on Sept 9.
From T.C. Ryan Dempster beaned A-Rod on a 3-0 pitch tonight. Yanks GM Brian Cashman sent Manager Joe Girardi out to argue the call. Maybe to bring Alex back to the plate so Dempster could bean him again.
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Looks like the new Jobs movie is making about as much money as a sale on two-year old iPhones.
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Crooks are stupid item of the day: Police in Huntington Beach arrested a man and charged him with vandalism for allegedly scrawling obscenities on the side of patrol cars. They were tipped off when he “liked” photos of those damaged patrol cars on the department’s Facebook page.
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In three games against the Marlins in Miami, the SF Giants have scored 25 runs. Wonder if the team flew in a nearby Haitian witch doctor for the weekend?
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How the NFL preseason has changed. Teams used to worry about how many players would be injured. Now they also worry about how many will be arrested.
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All the talk now is about the Los Angeles Dodgers…. what about the Detroit Tigers? Running away with their division, and doing it without much of a year from Justin Verlander. If he gets hot in the postseason….”
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: A-Rod jokes, Alex Rodriguez jokes, GOP jokes, janice hough jokes, PED jokes, Ryan Dempster jokes
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August 16, 2013
The Philadelphia Phillies fired Charlie Manuel, the winningest manager in their history. Guess out of respect for all he had done the team decided not to make him suffer through the last 6 weeks of the season.
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The GOP voted Friday not to allow CNN and NBC to sponsor their presidential primary debates if those networks air their programs about Hillary Clinton. The first step in a GOP victory plan to keep ANYONE from televising their presidential primary debates?
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Former Stanford pitcher Drew Storen has to be thankful to the SF Giants. He’d been sent down to AAA, but was recalled after Thursday’s game. Apparently the Nationals figured if their relievers couldn’t hold a lead against the Giants offense, they needed help fast.
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A new principal at Palo Alto (CA) High school has sent a letter to students warning them to stop the tradition of streaking on campus or face suspension. Here’s a simpler suggestion: remind students that their streaking will probably end up on Youtube for their future children, employers, etc to see….
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A 60 Minutes report said that A-Rod’s representatives were the ones that leaked the names of Ryan Braun and Yankees’ catcher Francisco Cervelli to MLB’s PED investigation. Added to his other problems, there goes Rodriguez’s chance of ever winning Miss Congeniality.
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A-Rod today later denied the report that he implicated fellow players, including a teammate as PED users. And why should we doubt anything Rodriguez says?
A new study found that drinking more than four cups of coffee is more likely to result in an early death. Wonder what the stats are for early death for anyone living with someone like that who DIDN’T make sure they had at least one cup of coffee in the morning.
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Meanwhile, a new Columbia University study found that 5 year-old children who drank at least 4 servings of soda a day were twice as likely than those who drank no soda to display aggressive violent behaviors and have trouble following instructions. Uh, my guess is 5 year-old kids with parents giving them at least 4 sodas a day just might have other issues affecting their behavior.
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What’s going on? Friday night the SF Giants almost outscored the SF 49ers?
(And who else saw the 14-10 score and thought- I didn’t realize the 49ers were playing the Dolphins?)
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NJ Governor Chris Christie says he’d accept a medical marijuana bill allowing edible marijuana to be dispensed only to minors, not to patients of all ages. Well, guess he’s as well acquainted as anyone about the danger of adults getting the munchies?
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Kim Kardashian slammed Katie Couric on Instagram for sending her a baby gift, since Couric said recently she didn’t understand why the Kardashians were so famous. Kim’s caption read: “IHateFakeMediaFriends” Uh, does she think she has any real media friends?
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From Jim Barach: Consumer experts say that people need to be careful now that Obamacare is taking hold as there are opportunities for swindlers, con men and rip-off artists. As opposed to the current health care system which is full of swindlers, con men and rip-off artists.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: A-Rod jokes, baseball jokes, Chris Christie jokes, janice hough jokes, Kardashian jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
August 14, 2013
Alex Rodriguez’s lawyer, trying to fight MLB’s 211 game suspension, says that his client didn’t commit “multiple violations.” Brings to mind the old joke “we’ve already figured out what kind of woman you are, we’re just arguing price.”‘
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The horror, according to “E-news” Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie almost both ended up on the SAME FLIGHT in first class from Los Angeles to London. When Aniston’s people were informed they changed her flight to the next day. Beyond-first-world problem. Way-beyond-first-world solution.
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Forbes says the Dallas Cowboys, worth $2.3 billion, are America’s most valuable team. Can you imagine how much the Cowboys would be worth if they could actually win?
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Apparently Tom Brady limped off the practice field today with a possible knee injury. Will Patriots fans blame Tim Tebow.
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In California, the Sonoma Valley High School Boosters had a fundraising event threatened with cancellation as they were serving homemade wines (some made by well-known winemakers.) Guess they should have done something less dangerous, like raffle off a gun?
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Kate Gosselin, (from the not-so-dearly-departed Jon & Kate Plus appears with her children on the cover of People Magazine: “We were struggling, then we were doing really well, then it all fell apart, and now we have a so-called normal life.” Right, because all normal families appear on the cover of People Magazine.
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A 73 year-old man who climbed over a barrier at Hawaii Volcanoes National Park and fell 115 feet was rescued after a hiker heard his cries for help. And somewhere Darwin is thinking “Missed it by THAT much.”
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John Oliver on “The Daily Show” tonight said he became a NY Mets fans “because, as a British person, I associate sports with misery.” Responded the Chicago Cubs “who are we, chopped liver?”
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You cannot make this “stuff” up, female version: Sheryl Sandberg, the multimillionaire who advised women to “Lean In” has founded a non-profit to help women get ahead “Lean In” -the foundation is looking for interns. Unpaid interns. Well, this ought to do wonders for Sandberg’s reputation for being completely out of touch with the lives of average women.
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Oops,. In 2010, the Oklahoma Lottery Commission had discontinued their toll-free number to save money, but recent lottery tickets were printed on old paper. And the phone number is now used… by a phone sex line. The mistake will be corrected, the potential excuse could go on for years. (Really honey, I was just trying to win us millions.)
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From T.C. “Irish discount airline Ryanair is under fire for refusing to refund a ticket of a passenger who passed away before her flight. The deceased’s son threatened to put the urn containing his mother’s ashes on the plane and filming and uploading the video to YouTube. Talk about passengers requiring assistance to board.”
This wouldn’t happen in the U.S. They’d probably demand an additional over-sized bag fee for the urn.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: A-Rod jokes, Cowboys jokes, facebook jokes, janice hough jokes, Sheryl Sandberg jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
August 9, 2013
At least all the A-Rod stories are knocking Anthony Weiner off the front page….
A-Rod has apparently hired the same private-detectives Dominique Strauss-Kahn used when he was accused of rape in 2011. Wonder what the firm’s name is “Sleazebags-R-Us?
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–Meanwhile, while we debate A-Rod and his pals, have to wonder, so how many other PED users are playing tonight? But who were smart enough not to use a sloppy outfit like Biogenesis?
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A pick-six on the fourth play of the first game of the preseason…. Good to know that the the NY Jets’ Mark Sanchez is already in midseason form.
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“Back to school” shopping in July fell short of retailers expectations. But to be fair, have to wonder how many shoppers were waiting for the Christmas sales starting after Labor Day.
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–A California man has turned a $2,000 Brooklyn dumpster into a apartment – complete with a bathroom, bed, kitchen and sun deck. And he still probably doesn’t have the smallest apartment in New York.
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Evan Longoria, unhappy that A-Rod can play and affect the pennant race: “I don’t think it’s fair that we can’t have an arbitrator hear the case sooner. If you get in a bench clearing brawl and a guy punches another guy and is ejected from the game and gets a 10-game suspension, you appeal that and it’s heard in the next 3 weeks. You either get 10 games or 6 games or whatever. I don’t understand why that process can’t happen for this.”
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Jack Clark is now alleging that Albert Pujols has done steroids, and hinted the same for Justin Verlander. Who does Clark think he is, Jose Canseco?
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From T.C. The Bills’ offensive coordinator says they are going to keep giving running back C.J. Spiller the ball until he throws up. Are they aiming to be the “Barfallo Bills?”
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Remember all those supposedly useless “X gets Y mph, X is going Z miles. How much gas does X need?” math problems? A Virgin America flight had to stop to refuel in San Jose on its way to San Francisco tonight. The flight distance between the two airports is about 30 miles. (Shouldn’t passengers at least get a refund on their fuel surcharge?)
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Four Vanderbilt football players, who were dismissed from the team over an alleged sexual assault this June, have each been charged with five counts of aggravated rape and two counts of aggravated sexual battery. Wonder what the young mens’ defense will be? That they were trying to prove Vanderbilt belongs in the SEC?
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Lance Armstrong’s attorneys are arguing in a class-action lawsuit that Armstrong had the right to lie about his career in his autobiographies. If the defense works, A-Rod wants names – of the lawyers and Lance’s ghostwriter.
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Switzerland has apologized to Oprah after a saleswoman at a fancy Zurich boutique refused to show her a $38,000black handbag, saying she “will not be able to afford” it. I hate racism as much as anyone, but some of those salespeople are equally snotty to non-rich looking white people. Cue the Julia Roberts “big mistake” scene in “Pretty Woman…”
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: A-Rod jokes, Jets jokes, NY Jokes, steroid jokes
Comments: 4 Comments
August 8, 2013
The New York Yankees are playing like a team that doesn’t want this A-Rod circus to continue into the postseason.
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In the SF Bay Area, BART and their unions are reportedly about $100 million apart in their strike talks. In New York they’re thinking “$100 million? That’s barely a Yankees middle reliever.”
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Signed memorabilia from Ohio State QB Braxton Miller and South Carolina DE Jadeveon Clowney have appeared for sale online, but the schools say there was no wrongdoing by the athletes. And if you can’t trust Urban Meyer and Steve Spurrier, who can you trust?
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You just MIGHT have too much money when…A Los Angeles Bar has unveiled a 20 item water, complete with water sommelier on hand. Prices go up to $16 and there are $12 tasting flights. This being Los Angeles wonder how long it will take for someone to ask for a preferred water recommendation for their dog.
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–Mitt Romney, speaking about GOP 2016 Presidential candidates “My guess is that every one of the contenders would be better than whoever the Democrats put up. But there will only be one or perhaps two who actually could win the election in November.” Well, if anyone knows about unelectable….
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Massachusetts Catholic priest, Monsignor Arthur Doyle, 62, was arrested in Lowell on a prostitution charge last weekend. He was caught with the woman, 38, performing oral sex on him in a car. And the archdiocese is going. “Thank God, an adult female.”
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From Marc Ragovin: “A shipping company in Italy has discovered long-lost footage of a pre-Citizen Kane film by Orson Welles called “Too Much Johnson.” Hey, isn’t that Anthony Weiner’s campaign slogan?’
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Timberwolves rookie Shabazz Muhammad was sent home by the team for the rule violation of bringing a female guest into his hotel room. The reason Muhammad was at the hotel? The four-day NBA’s Rookie Transition Program, designed to help young players stay out of trouble…..
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Captain Kangaroo’s Cosmo Allegretti, 86, who created the Dancing Bear, has died. For the younger generation, yes, there were lovable puppets before the Muppets.
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Only missed the #Powerball jackpot by six numbers tonight. And I didn’t even play.
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Okay, who’s the brilliant mind who came up with this on KNBR- an SF Giants ad for the Brewers series at A T & T taunting Milwaukee about their suspended slugger with an asterisk? Must have been promotional pot-kettle giveaway night.
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LSU’s star running back Jeremy Hill was already on probation for a sex-crime involving a 14 year old girl when he was arrested in April for sucker-punching a man at a bar. (And he was seen laughing about it on a video.)
The judge, however, just extended his probation, with a curfew. Then Les Miles let the team vote, and they voted to reinstate him. Good thing the judge’s provision said the curfew would be waived for football night games…
(You have to wonder, if Hill murders someone, will they make him sit out a quarter?)
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Human Rights Watch, reporting on Russian efforts to silence journalists and activists before the Sochi games, says that organizations documenting Olympic preparation abuses “were subject to intrusive government inspections, including at least one organization that had its email accounts examined.” Gosh, if there were only someone in Russia who was willing to take on a government over such actions.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: A-Rod jokes, football jokes, Janice Hough, LSU jokes, NCAA jokes, SF Giants jokes, Yankees jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
August 7, 2013
Not saying Johnny Manziel is getting a big head. But at this point I half expect to read that he gets pulled over for speeding and tries to charge the officer to sign the ticket.
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Johnny Manziel allegedly received at least $7500 for signing autographs. Looks like the NCAA’s policy on accepting payments is working about as well as MLB’s drug policy.
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Not saying #A-Rod‘s self-centered act is getting old but even his mirror is telling him he might not be the fairest of them all anymore.
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Bill Clinton said he and Hillary wouldn’t get within 100 miles of the New York mayoral race. Darn. Wishing Bill had said he wouldn’t touch the race with a 10 inch pole.
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Rick Perry in a speech last weekend “There are many states that embrace those conservative values, the approach we’ve taken over the years. I’m in one today – Florida.” Except Perry was speaking in New Orleans. But give the Texas Governor credit, he was close. Sort of .
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The GOP is threatening not to let NBC and CNN televise the next GOP presidential primary debates if they go ahead with miniseries about Hillary Clinton.The networks have to be wondering, how many good reasons will Rick Perry give them?
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ABA conference starts today in San Francisco Is it just coincidence that 8,000 plus lawyers will descend on the city right in the middle of Shark Week?
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You just can’t make this “stuff” up: Scott Hounsell, the former executive director of the GOP in Los Angeles County, has been mocking Anthony Weiner on Twitter. Last Friday he was arrested for allegedly sending sexting a 16-year-old.
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Taco Bell is debuting a new waffle taco. For those who are tired of always starting the day with something healthy like a doughnut.
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Just in case we thought this A-Rod circus didn’t have enough clowns, enter Ozzie Guillen. Who tweeted “its all madonnas fault. every athlete she has been with has gone bad. see canseco, rodman and now rodriguez lol lol lol.”
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Bud Selig had yesterday he was proud of baseball’s Joint Drug Program including “random testing, groundbreaking blood testing for human growth hormone..” Uh, Bud, except with all these suspensions – THE TESTING DIDN’T CATCH ANYONE……
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You know it’s a long night at A T and T park when SF Giants fans are looking forward to the between innings “Kiss Cam” to see some scoring.
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SF Giants scheduled Jewish Heritage night Tuesday night against the Milwaukee Brewers. Possibly to honor the top Jewish MLB player. Oops.
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Really? In response to complaints that they haven’t chosen a minority as “The Bachelor” or “The Bachelorette”, ABC has made the daring move of choosing a hunky blonde ex-soccer player from…. Venezuela?
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: A-Rod jokes, Bud Selig jokes, Janice Hough, Johnny Manziel jokes, PED jokes, SF Giants jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
August 5, 2013
Breaking news. A-Rod is to be suspended. And Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.
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So when will #ARod say he’s going to spend the rest of his life looking for the real PED users?
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The MLB players union expects that A-Rod’s appeal process will not be completed before the end of the season. Well, the way the Yankees are playing, at least this whole circus shouldn’t affect the playoffs.
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As the Biogenesis suspension list emerges….a question comes to mind, so are American-born players cleaner than those from the Dominican Republic? Or just smarter about their drugs?
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A study of the first six months of 2013 by researchers at George Mason University showed that President Obama was the most joked about politician on late night talk shows, figuring in 288 punch lines. Finally, a race Anthony Weiner can win!
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Dutch researchers created the world’s first lab-grown beef burger, cultured from cattle stem cells. Volunteers in a public taste test said it had the texture of meat but was short of flavor. Sounds like they’re already met Taco Bell standards.
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Major League Baseball has doing about as good a job avoiding leaks on these PED suspensions as the players did in keeping their connections with Biogenesis secret in the first place….
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2-3 lanes of the Bay Bridge between SF and Oakland were closed this morning, when a big rig carrying rice and raw fish for sushi caught fire on the bridge. Restaurant goers tonight might want to approach any “seared fish” special with caution.
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Averaging about a home run a week lately, the SF Giants may be taking trying to prove they’re a PED free ballclub a little too far….
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Jeff Bezos of Amazon is buying the Washington Post. So subscription rates may go up but shipping will be free.
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Okay, now really rooting for the Detroit Tigers or Texas Rangers to win it all. Because I would LOVE to see Bud Selig grit his teeth and present Jhonny Peralta or Nelson Cruz with the World Series MVP trophy….
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Slapped with a 211 game suspension, A-Rod is appealing and plans to play tonight. And the game tonight was televised on YES – the Yankees network. Can you say ratings gold? #Therichgetricher
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A woman who is the current Miss Riverton, Utah, in the Miss America pageant was arrested and charged with making and throwing homemade bombs from a car. There goes her chance to win Miss Congeniality.
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A corporate jet ran off the runway and through a fence at the Eden Prairie airport Monday morning. Did the pilot have dreams of working for Asiana?
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Stay classy Sydney Leathers. After filming a hardcore porn sex scene posted online, Anthony Weiner’s sexting partner stated “‘I’m not prostituting myself… It’s important to look at your body in a positive way”
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Rex Ryan is asking NY Jets fans to give Mark Sanchez a break. And fans are going, “sure, an arm, a leg…?”.
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Alex Rodriguez says that the “the last seven months have been a nightmare, probably the worst time of my life.” Well, he has more than 100 million rea$on$ to try to go on….
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The silver lining in the story that Texas A & M QB Johnny Manziel may have signed a contract to be paid for autographs. At least we know there’s presumably a college football player who can read and write.
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Mark McGwire, on PED’sl: “I wish I was never a part of it. If it’s better to have bigger suspensions, then they’re going to have to change it.” Translation, “I’m no longer playing, I’ve got a job, f*ck ’em.”
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: A-Rod jokes, Alex Rodriguez jokes, janice hough jokes, PED jokes, Yankees jokes. Johnny Manziel
Comments: 1 Comment
August 5, 2013
Even if A-Rod is suspended today he is likely to appeal and actually plans to play Monday night. Where is Bob Gibson when you need him? Think this situation could be taken care of with one at-bat.
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Meanwhile, Joe Girardi says he has Alex Rodriguez “penciled” in for Monday’s start. And privately is he thinking “my kingdom for an eraser?”
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My friend Jeff Klein points out that if Nelson Cruz is suspended, the Rangers will probably call up…. Manny Ramirez?! I think I speak for comedy writers everywhere in thinking “Oh please, oh please….”
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Max Ball says “Maybe Manny can come up and carry the Rangers to a world title and they can do a movie about it called “the Unnatural”
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While we’re doing “Manny” movies – how about “Field of Creams … (and Clears)?”
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Thomas Hurley III, an Connecticut 8th-grader, told a local paper he was cheated because he wrote “Emanciptation” Proclamation and lost $3000 of his winnings. (The winner had $66,600.) Can’t wait to see what happens when the kid doesn’t get into his first choice college.
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August 5, 2013, and the Kansas City Royals are ahead of the New York Yankees in the AL Wild Card race. No, it doesn’t mean much in early August, but I just like writing it.
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More off-field headlines for Johnny Manziel, as now ESPN reports that NCAA is allegedly investigating whether he was paid “a five-figure flat fee” for autographs in January. So congrats to all those who had August 4 in the pool.
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If the regular season ended today, neither the Yankees nor Mets would make the playoffs. And somewhere Bud Selig is saying “Is it too late to add a third or fourth wild card?”
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Already seeing some conservatives complaining that this supposed terror alert is fake and just a way to make the administration look good. And no doubt the complaints will get louder if nothing happens. (Of course, by calling the alert maybe it upset terrorist plans?) Nothing is certain, except that for some EVERYTHING President Obama does is wrong.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: A-Rod jokes, Arod jokes, Biogenesis jokes, janice hough jokes, Johnny Manziel jokes
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August 3, 2013
Inspired by the running of the bulls in Spain, promoters plan to bring “The Great Bull Run” to the U.S. where bulls will be unleashed to sprint through fenced-in courses as daredevils try to avoid being trampled. The first will be near Richmond, Virginia, later this month. Shocking. This seemed like a perfect fit for Florida.
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A undercover police officer arrested a Florida woman for illegally selling lobster tails on Craigslist. Good to know the Sunshine State is focusing their law enforcement efforts on the important stuff these days.
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Jerry Rice, complaining about today’s players in the Pro Bowl “You’ve got prima donnas, egocentrics, who act like it’s not an honor,” Plus they’re thinking ‘Why should I go and jeopardize what I’m doing?’ But it should be for the fans.” Here’s an idea, have the game in Detroit, only the winning team gets an all-expenses paid week in Hawaii afterwards.
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As the Anthony Weiner circus continues in New York, here’s a suggestion – why doesn’t Weiner move to San Diego and run for mayor there? Might be the only city in America where his “sext but don’t touch” slimeballness might be a mayoral upgrade?
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A-Rod, after his first rehab game: “I will say this, there’s more than one party that benefits from me never stepping back on the field. That’s not my teammates and not the Yankee fans.” So it’s not about him…. Rodriguez just cares about the little people who would be deprived of watching him play..
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From my friend Howard Fox: “A-Rod says he’s set to return the Yankees unless he’s ‘struck by lightning’. Someone hand him a kite.”
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Newsweek will be sold to IBT (International Business Times) Media. Shocking? Newsweek was still in business?
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Mark Sanchez was booed today during the New York Jets Green and White Scrimmage. Well, it may be early, but good to see that Jets fans at least are in mid-season form.
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Bad timing award? Lots of “BART, and you’re there” commercials in the San Francisco Bay Area, the weekend before what is likely to be a long strike. Or is this BART management’s way of really getting folks behind them in hopes for a quick settlement?
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How did A-Rod expect to keep his PED use secret, he can’t even keep his negotiations with MLB secret.
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Bus to hell moment from T.C. ” Hot Tip of the Year: Do not watch the movie Django Unchained before attending a Kenny Chesney cocert.
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Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: A-Rod jokes, Florida jokes, janice hough jokes, Mark Sanchez jokes, Pro Bowl jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
August 1, 2013
Rolling Stone sales doubled for the issue with the Boston bomber on the the cover. So who are they planning on for their next cover? Ariel Castro, Casey Anthony, Aaron Hernandez?
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Thinking Ariel Castro may not live as long in the regular section of prison as he might have lived on Death Row. And I have no problem with that.
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Castro says he is “not a monster.” And monsters accused anyone making the comparison of monster defamation.
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As Riley Cooper and the Eagles deal with the fallout from his racist rant, perhaps we should consider a new warning label on alcoholic beverages: “Caution, contents may make you forget that WHEREVER you are, there is always a camera phone.”
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This drawn-out nothing-happening wait for MLB to announce their PED suspensions is getting to be reminiscent of the royal baby watch. But at least the Brits got a cute kid at the end of it all.
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Cory Booker said “absolutely yes, unequivocally” that he has ruled out running for President in 2016. Makes sense based on his age and experience. But for a comedy writer’s dream… an election between two men from New Jersey… ah, what might have been.
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Delta Airlines will start 14 hourly shuttle flights Monday through Friday between SFO and LAX, departing every hour on the hour beginning at 7 a.m.. Which is convenient – when your flight is late, at least you’ll know when the alternatives are scheduled.
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A formerly obese man from Northern Ireland said his motivation for losing almost 250 pounds was getting stuck in a stadium turnstile. Hmm, the SF Giants may suggest a new way to enter A T and T Park for Pablo Sandoval.
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Sources say now that #MLB and #ARod are “far apart” on a settlement. Is this a #PED suspension or a celebrity divorce
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Edward Snowden has obtained asylum in Russia. Wonder if one of his first plans after leaving the airport is to see a Pussy Riot concert?
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Have to love all the people who are taking to Facebook to express their support of Edward Snowden’s exposure of government attacks on our privacy…
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Chiefs offensive coordinator Doug Pederson told The Kansas City Star that he thinks QB Alex Smith is “the best in the league.” With all due respect, Smith wasn’t even the best QB on the 49ers.
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The latest rumors out of New York are that Eliot Spitzer, still married, has a girlfriend. Who does he think he is, Rudy Giuliani?
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The driver of that Spanish train that crashed and killed 79 people admitted he was traveling at twice the speed limit, but says he can’t explain why. What, no one pushed him into the throttle?
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From T.C. “An owner of TGIF restaurants in New Jersey has been busted for substituting cheap booze for premium types. “So what’s the big deal?”, asked makers of American “Lite” beers.”
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From Mark: ( in response to my comment that that Pope would follow his tolerant comment about gay priests with something similar about women the day after hell freezes over.)
That would be a pity because if that comes the day after hell freezes over, hockey fans in Toronto and baseball fans in Chicago won’t hear it because they’d have hangover celebrating championships.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: A-Rod jokes, Ariel Castro jokes, Edward Snowden jokes, janice hough jokes, Rolling Stone cover jokes
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August 1, 2013
Interesting statement of understatement from Roger Clemens: “A-Rod was my teammate in New York. I’m glad he was my teammate.. I did things to make him feel comfortable….”
Sometimes you have to wonder. Are Alex Rodriguez and Anthony Weiner in the midst of a secret competition to be the most hated man in New York?
What if they gave a #tradedeadline party and nobody came?
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The Pro Bowl has decided to change the format, so it is no longer AFC vs NFC: In fact conference won’t matter at all. The two top vote-getters will be named captains and get to pick teams, aided by Jerry Rice, Deion Sanders and two NFL.com fantasy football champions. Well that answers one question. “Could the game get any more irrelevant?”
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Mayor Bob Filner has admitted to sexual harassment (and the stories are epic) but now his lawyer is blaming San Diego. Saying that the city should have provided sexual harassment training, and that Filner might never have been sued “had he been properly trained. Even Eliot Spitzer and Anthony Weiner are asking “Have you no shame?”
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The SF Giants’ Javier Lopez, joking about the trade deadline. “Me for #Verlander, straight up.” Actually Lopez is having a better year….
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Although this sentence kind of tells you all you need to know about the SF Giants 2013 season: “The last time the Giants won a Zito road start was Game 5 of the NLCS Championship last October in St. Louis.”
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Lindsay Lohan has apparently left rehab looking “happy and healthy.” So I suppose it would be wrong to start a pool on her next “incident?”
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The latest leak is that the MLBPA has been informed of the upcoming baseball suspensions and they will be announced by Friday. Of course this is supposed to be a SECRET investigation. Anyone left with any doubts how players might somehow have learned how to avoid equally secret random drug tests?
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An owner of 8 New Jersey TGI Fridays restaurants agreed to pay a $500,000 fine for serving customers fake premium booze. Of course, have to wonder how much more than $500,000 they made selling the cheap stuff.
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For all those who worried that the ongoing circus involving the NY Jets would fade away when they traded Tim Tebow, no worries: An anonymous veteran told a reporter Geno Smith has outplayed Mark Sanchez in the first week of training camp….
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What’s more shocking, that the Pittsburgh Pirates didn’t make any major trades at the deadline? Or that if they had, it would have been as buyers instead of sellers?
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: A-Rod jokes, Filner jokes, janice hough jokes, PED jokes, Pro Bowl jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
July 31, 2013
Alex Rodriguez says he would still like to be a “role model.” Would he settle for being a cautionary tale?
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Archaeologists said yesterday they found a new coffin-within-a-coffin in the central England parking lot where the skeleton of King Richard III was discovered. The remains are yet unidentified. Maybe an ancestor of Jimmy Hoffa?
Chris Christie criticized Rand Paul for bringing home pork barrel money to Kentucky, whereupon Paul responded that this was “the king of bacon talking about bacon.” President Obama hasn’t had this much fun since the GOP presidential primaries.
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Oscar “Ossie” Schectman, who scored the first basket in NBA history, died today at the age of 94. Wonder if he scored his own first basket in a pickup game against Greg Oden.
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Bad news for SF Giants fans: Brian Wilson is now a LA Dodger. Good news for SF Giants fans: Brian Wilson is now an LA Dodger
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My Dodger fan friend Jeff Klein suggests that Brian Wilson might want to live on Venice Beach now. Not so sure, the man lives to stand out from the crowd – in Venice most of his get-ups would barely warrant a second look.
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Eliot Spitzer says he is not supporting Anthony Weiner for Mayor. Well, probably shouldn’t have expected the pot to vote for the kettle.
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U.S. Border agents found marijuana on Justin Bieber’s bus as it crossed from Windsor, Canada into Detroit. Beginning to look like this young man is as smart as he is talented.
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A man survived driving his car off a 40 foot cliff in San Diego. Wonder if his last tweet before the crash was “Damn this road is steeeeeeeeeep.”
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Meanwhile in sadder news. But still a Darwin award Texas A&M football player Polo Manukainiu was killed with two friends in a car accident where police believe he fell asleep at the wheel. His last tweet “22 hour drive back to Texas on no sleep – oh my.”
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I know these online deals like “Groupon” are becoming a “thing.” But really, would anyone seriously want half-price Botox injected into their face? Kind of like day-old sushi.
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Carlos Hyde, Ohio State’s top RB, was suspended for “at least” three games after a assault charge was dismissed because the alleged victim declined to press charges. The Buckeyes’ star will miss games against Buffalo, San Diego State, and Cal. If Hyde misbehaves again Urban Meyer will slap his other hand REALLY hard.
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Anthony Weiner in a new ad – “Quit isn’t the way we roll.” Really? Even Brett Favre is saying “Give it up already.”
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Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: A-Rod jokes, Christie jokes, football jokes, janice hough jokes, Richard III jokes, Urban Meyer jokes
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July 29, 2013
A United Airlines worker at San Francisco Airport was arrested for allegedly stealing a couple’s luggage and returning some of the clothes inside to Nordstrom for cash. Wonder if United at least refunded the passengers’ baggage fees?
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The Milwaukee Brewers are giving away about $3 million in food and drink vouchers to fans at the ballpark for the rest of the season, basically spending the money they would have paid Ryan Braun. Gosh, if/when A-Rod gets suspended the Yankees could afford to turn their stadium into an all-inclusive resort
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Pope Francis: “Who am I to judge a gay person of goodwill who seeks the Lord?” Can’t wait to see some in the GOP condemn this crazy liberal statement.
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But gosh, what’s next. If the Pope indicates he might be accepting of priests who are gays, how long until he comes up with something truly radical, like saying the same about women. (Yeah, the day after hell freezes over.)
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Must say since the SF Giants don’t appear likely to make the playoffs, it would be fun to see a Rays-Pirates World Series. Especially as it would probably make Fox executives heads’ explode.
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#JasonGiambi, 42 years and 202 days old, goes yard to game in bottom of 9th to win it for the Indians. Do we call it a walker-off home run?
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MLB says that David Ortiz will not be suspended for destroying two dugout phones with his bat last weekend in Baltimore. Maybe because even in the dugout no one uses land line phones now anyway?
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Pete Rose says that a big part of A-Rod’s problem is that he “lacks self-confidence,” Rose said. I don’t know. Regarding PED’s Rodriguez seems to have had plenty of confidence in his ability to get away with it.
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#AnthonyWeiner is now in fourth place in the latest NY mayoral poll. Why? Because there is no fifth place.
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President Obama, congratulating the SF Giants on their 2012 World Championship: “You guys are a second-half team. I expect you to be a second-half team this time around.” And wonder how many of the Giants responded “Back at ya, Mr. President.”
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Many fans are waiting eagerly or anxiously for MLB’s decision on the Biogenesis players. Suspensions which will be less for PED’s than for being stupid enough to get caught.
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A new University of California study found that dangerous staph infections can be spread at the gym. Leading to a whole new category of excuse “I’d love to go work out honey, but I’m concerned about my health.”
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Another train crash in Europe. This time in Switzerland. Guessing that television stations are being VERY careful about reading the names of engineers.
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Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: A-Rod jokes, airline jokes, bus to hell jokes, PED jokes, Pope jokes, Weiner jokes, Yankees jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
July 23, 2013
For any fans of the movie “Airplane”, Ryan Braun has now certainly done his part to keep that pamphlet thin. (In one scene a woman asks for light reading, and the flight attendant responds “How about this leaflet, “Famous Jewish Sports Legends?”)
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Matt Kemp, the runner-up for NL MVP in 2011, thinks Ryan Braun should be stripped of the award. Meaning either that Kemp is clean, or if he IS taking something, he thinks he’s smarter than Braun.
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Remember the days when A-Rod was going to be the “clean” guy who broke Bonds’ home run record? #Seligfail
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Much hand wringing over the PED situation in baseball, especially by those who feel that artificial enhancement sets a bad example for children. Why, some parents are deciding to avoid games for a while and instead take the children to see movies featuring their favorite Hollywood stars.
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Taco Bell said they are discontinuing kid’s meals. What a bummer for all those parents driving around with children in the car at 2am because they couldn’t get a babysitter.
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Willie Mays – 660 home runs. A-Rod – 647 home runs. Wonder what kind of odds you could have gotten a few years ago that Mays would have kept his lifetime lead over Rodriguez?
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Eliot Spitzer’s first TV ad in his run for NY comptroller “Look – I failed. Big time.” Will his second ad be “But at least I’m not as big a flaming a**hole as Anthony Weiner?
Two from my friend Marc Ragovin: “Now I know the Anthony Weiner scandal is serious: Bud Selig just suspended him for the remainder of the campaign season.” And “More incidents of raunchy sexting by Anthony Weiner have surfaced. Some pols are great at making a campaign a public forum. Weiner is great at making it the Penthouse Forum.”
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From my friend Abbe Nelson “These grown men with their “Smart” phones do some really dumb shit with them.”
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The Florida state attorney’s office has dismissed charges against Gator LB linebacker Antonio Morrison, who was arrested last weekend after allegedly barking at a police dog and resisting arrest. Let me guess, the state attorney is not a FSU grad.
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A report is that Kris Jenner and Kim Kardashian “want to quit” reality television. Promise?
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Iowa Rep. Steve King, who famously said last year that he never heard of anyone getting pregnant from statutory rape or incest, today proved that he’s not just anti-woman. Speaking against the Dream Act “For everyone who’s a valedictorian there’s another 100 out there that weigh 130 pounds and they’ve got calves the size of cantaloupes because they’re hauling 75 pounds of marijuana across the desert. Those people would be legalized with the same act.”
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Despite a media frenzy, Kate and William managed to keep their baby’s birth a secret from the world for five hours. Not sure if they want a career change but whoever orchestrated that should be able to get big bucks from British or U.S. Intelligence.
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For all those reporters in London who thought they would be off baby watch… One of today’s breaking news items.. “A woman, possibly Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge’s stylist, flashed a pass that read “Palace Household” and was let inside.” Soon followed by “the car seat is in.”
Prince William today said “they’re still working on a name.” Uh, you and Kate had nine months and you only needed two choices…. #Royalbaby
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Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: A-Rod jokes, Janice Hough, PED jokes, royal baby jokes, Ryan Braun jokes, Weiner jokes
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July 9, 2013
Aaron Hernandez’s likeness has been removed from the video games NCAA Football 14 and Madden NFL 25. Though he might be added to the latest versions of Resident Evil and Mortal Kombat.
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Spitzer, Weiner, Sanford…. Let’s hope somewhere someone is saying “Don’t even think about it,” to John Edwards.
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George Clooney and Stacy Keiber have announced their split up. So congrats to all those who had July 8 in the pool.
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During a rehab start in Single-A, A-Rod was hit by a pitch. A reporter then asked the pitcher’s grandmother about the Yankees’ star. “I think he thinks he’s kind of a hotshot. I don’t care for his personality. He just thinks he’s better than the other boys.” Who says the elderly lose cognitive abilities.
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Whole Foods has recalled a cheese that over a bacterial infection that has sickened dozens and killed at least one person. And millions of Americans are thinking “how often is that that you literally can’t afford to have gotten sick?
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Speaking of sick. .. Hostess has announced that to extend the snack cakes shelf-life they will now freeze Twinkies before delivering them to stores. What, because otherwise they’d only last five or six decades, tops?
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Post-Wimbledon headline from the U.K Telegraph today: “The most painful wait in sport is over.” No response yet from Chopped Liver Stadium aka Wrigley Field.
Rick Perry says he will not run for a fourth term as Texas Governor Did someone just tell him women can vote?
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An Amtrak train bound from New York to Miami was stuck on the tracks near Richmond, VA for 14 hours and passengers were not allowed to leave. Some complained of balky toilets and intermittent air conditioning. Is Amtrak trying to become travel partners with Carnival Cruise Lines?
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LSU’s leading rusher Jeremy Hill was formally charged today with misdemeanor simple battery over an April bar fight. Apparently this could pose problems for the 2013 since Hill is on probation from a 2012 plea for “misdemeanor carnal knowledge of a juvenile.” The lengths some of these young men will go to prove they are NFL ready.
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NY Jets coach Rex Ryan apparently joined the running of the bulls in Pamplona, Spain yesterday. Was Ryan trying to prove he could do something stupider than trusting Mark Sanchez?
(Says Alex Schubert, “he was just excited because he knew that running involved feet.”)
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Robert Kraft on Aaron Hernandez: “If any member of the New England Patriots organization is close enough to a murder investigation to actually get arrested – whether it be for obstruction of justice or the crime itself – it is too close to an unthinkable act for that person to be part of this organization going forward.” How much do we want to see Kraft interviewed this fall by new ESPN analyst Ray Lewis?
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When Dwight Howard left for Houston, apparently Kobe Bryant stopped following him on Twitter. Seriously? Hard to imagine Kobe following anyone.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: A-Rod jokes, Aaron Hernandez jokes, Janice Hough, Spitzer jokes, Twinkies jokes
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Left Coast Sports Babe 