Posted tagged ‘Janice Hough’
September 4, 2011
Not the best weekend for the new Pac 12. Stanford, Arizona, Cal, Utah, Washington and Arizona State handled their cream puff opponents relatively easily.
But Oregon lost to LSU, Colorado lost to Hawaii, UCLA lost to Houston, and Oregon State lost to Sacramento State.
Meanwhile USC and Washington needed late interceptions to hold off Minnesota and Eastern Washington, respectively.
Maybe the reason the conference, originally the Pac 8,is considering becoming the Pac 16, is to find eight teams who can consistently win.
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And yes, that’s not a mistake, Oregon State did lose to Sacramento State. Insert Beavers joke here:
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That Oregon State loss to Sacramento State in football just might be the most embarrassing performance in orange and black seen since before the SF Giants cut Aaron Rowand and Miguel Tejada.
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Utah State collapsed so quickly against Auburn today you have to wonder if the same booster who bought Cam Newton bought off their defense.
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Meanwhile, Cam Newton has been announced as the starting QB for the Panthers’ opener next Sunday against Arizona. No word on how much of a bonus Carolina paid his father.
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After there close call today against Utah State, Auburn is trying to reschedule next year’s season opener. They hope the University of Phoenix is available.
Meanwhile on Friday night, Baylor 50, TCU 48. Think somewhere at BCS headquarters an executive just gleefully made an big X on their 2011 potential problems list?
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Dick Cheney appeared Friday night on the Tonight Show dressed as Darth Vader. This prompted an immediate demand for an apology – from Darth Vader.
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Michele Bachmann now says her “God sending the hurricane as a message” comments were a “joke.” So where’s her joke on God sending that 6.8 earthquake in Alaska as a message for Sarah Palin to shut up?
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Sarah Palin said today in a speech that America was in a “systemic crisis.” Wonder which of her staff wrote “systemic” on her palm?”
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Despite speculation that she would finally announce her decision Saturday, Sarah Palin says she is still deciding whether to enter the Presidential race. Although if she does run, Palin’s alreay picked out her campaign manager – Brett Favre.
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Notre Dame’s stadium had to be evacuated twice during their game against USF due to nearby lightning strikes. The game, was however, finally completed – six hours after play initially started, with USF winning 23 to 20. Still, some would say God did all He could to avoid a Fighting Irish loss.
The original A T & T was broken up as the result of an antitrust suit in 1983. Since then Southwestern Bell, one of the seven new companies, has been buying companies, including Pac Bell and their original parent, and they are A T & T again, the 7th biggest company in the U.S. Trying to get bigger. They’re a regenerating corporate starfish.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Cam Newton jokes, college football jokes, Janice Hough, Oregon State jokes, Pac 12 jokes
Comments: 8 Comments
September 3, 2011
On a positive note for Northern California sports fans, Stanford’s football team kicks off their season today against San Jose State. And considering the way the 49ers and Raiders are playing in the pre-season, the Cardinal just might be the best team in the Bay Area.
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Meanwhile up in Eugene: QB Jeremiah Massoli was booted in 2010 after a burglary arrest, RB LaMichael James was suspended the same year over a domestic violence charge, and now QB Cliff Harris has been suspended after he was cited for driving 118 mph (and telling a state trooper on tape “there’s no marijuana, we smoked it all.”) Isn’t it time to rename the team the Oregon Bengals?
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Boise State will be without three starters for their season opener against Georgia, pending a review of those players’ NCAA eligibility. Yep, looks like the Broncos have made it to the big time.
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George W. Bush declined to criticize Dick Cheney’s book saying simply “I’m glad members of my family are giving their version of what it was like to serve our country.” Translation – “does anyone REALLY think I’ll read the thing?
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The post office is going to come out with a Ted Williams stamp. All paper cuts from licking the stamp will presumably only come from splendid splinters.
(Or as my friend Alex Schubert says, from ice crystals.)
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Sarah Palin is planning a major speech to a Tea Party rally in Iowa, which amongts other things, will be a “sharp indictment” of President Obama. Well, of course, amongst his other failings, Obama has gone past the halfway point of his term without quitting.
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GOP Candidate Ron Paul is lagging in the polls. Friday in New Hampshire he invited staffers and reporters to join him on a bike ride. During the ride, 76 year old congressman wore shorts. Please, no one give this idea to Newt Gingrich.
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For some time now, savvy travelers from the U.S. to Canada have known they could check a bag for free by booking the identical flight as Air Canada instead of their code-share partner United. Today the two carriers streamlined their policies – Air Canada will start charging too. Yeah,corporations are people. Greedy people.
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Derek Holland of the Texas Rangers has been averaging more than 7 runs of support a game when he has taken the mound in 2011. That background sound you hear is SF Giants pitchers quietly sobbing.
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Actually, the Giants, in their first game of September with the expanded rosters, actually scored some runs and beat the Arizona Diamondbacks 6-2.
Bringing up the question, why didn’t manager Bruce Bochy take a page from “50 First Dates” and set the clubhouse calendar to Sept 1 weeks ago?
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The NCAA punished UConn’s mens basketball team for rules violations and poor academic performance with a loss of scholarships. But now that star recruit Andre Drummond has at the last minute decided to skip prep school and join the Huskies, another player gave up his scholarship for him. Well, at least Drummond will only need the scholarship for a year.
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Here’s a potential solution to the “One and Done” issue in College Basketball. (A variation on the baseball model which says that college players must stay three years.) A school can give a scholarship to any star, even one they don’t think will stay. But that scholarship can’t be used again for three years, whether he leaves for the NBA or not.
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Former OSU coach Jim Tressel was just hired by the Indianapolis Colts as a game-day consultant to help determine when the team should challenge plays. Wonder if the Colts will pay him in memorabilia and tattoos?
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My friend Mark Brickman said of the current Congress: “They wouldn’t save their own mother if it somehow benefited the President.” Well, I think actually they might. But they would blame whatever put her life in danger on Obama.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Bush jokes, college football jokes, Janice Hough, NCAA jokes, Oregon jokes, Ron Paul jokes, SF Giants jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
August 29, 2011
Open note to anyone who stumbled upon this blog looking for Hurricane Irene jokes. I live in Northern California (hence the “Left Coast”) And normally I write jokes primarily about sports, politics, but also current events and some pop culture craziness. Feel free to stop by again anytime. Janice Hough.
Now back to the jokes.
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First reports on Hurricane Irene in New York. An expensive mess, but underwhelming considering its original potential. Sort of like the 2011 Mets.
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As Hurricane Irene slammed into New England, really surprised not to hear any GOP candidates chastising President Obama for not being brave enough to have stayed in Martha’s Vineyard.
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From CNN.com “About 2,500 people who defied mandatory evacuation orders were stranded on Hatteras Island (N.C.) after pounding surf washed over dunes, covering roads with water and sand. The flooding cut off the island from the mainland.” I have some sympathy for these idiots. But not very much.
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If the country wants to avoid future damage, they should name the next potential big storm “Hurricane Giants.” That way it won’t hit anybody.
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Whatever you say about the “Boys from the Bronx.” they are a big attendance draw. And the Baltimore Orioles, who lost a big crowd for a game this weekend due to Hurricane Irene, have rescheduled a game with the Yankees to Sept. 8. NY has not yet agreed, possibly in hopes of never having to play the game. Apparently the Orioles have forgotten a cardinal MLB rule – “It’s the Yankees world, we just live in it.”
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Regarding that 22-9 victory by the New York Yankees last week against the Oakland As, my friend Bill Littlejohn commented: “The last time the Yankees had three grand slams in one day: “The morning David Wells ate breakfast at Denny’s.”
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An apparently drunk Russian woman started performing erotic dances on a British Midland flight from Moscow to London last Friday. The plane returned to the airport and the passenger was taken to a hospital for observation. In the U.S., airlines would have levied an extra charge for the inflight entertainment.
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Texas Gov. Rick Perry, an outspoken critic of the Federal Government, is running to be its leader. Makes about as much sense as having Bristol Palin lead an abstinence movement.
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Dick Cheney said his memoir would cause ‘heads to explode” in Washington. Colin Powell today responded. “My head isn’t exploding. I haven’t noticed any other heads exploding in Washington.” Well, the former V.P. is getting up in years. Maybe Cheney confused his writing abilities with his hunting abilities.
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Former Secretary of State Colin Powell accused former Vice President Dick Cheney of taking “cheap shots” at him and others in his new book. But maybe what Powell should have said is “We all know how accurate Cheney is with his shots.”
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Open note to Bay Area football fans. Our area is known for great food, quirky people, and is used to natural disasters. So for anyone who watched the 49ers and Raiders this weekend looking for less tortuous alternatives, may I suggest temporarily adopting the New Orleans Saints? (Black and gold actually combines half the Raiders and half the 49ers colors.)
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Cheney jokes, hurricane irene, Janice Hough, jokes about hurricane irene, SF Giants jokes, Yankees jokes
Comments: 4 Comments
August 28, 2011
Hurricane Irene has brought more quiet and dread to New York than Phil Hughes coming in to pitch for the Yankees.
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James Carville said in a post for CNN.com that there is some “weather-related” Darwinism with hurricanes. What he meant is that the weaker trees are blown down while the stronger trees survive. Of course, this Darwinism also applies to those people who ignore evacuation orders.
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FEMA announced Saturday they are completely prepared and ready to assist with earthquake relief on the East Coast.
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Hurricane Irene has already been blamed for massive and potentially long-term power losses in the East. SF Giants fans are wondering, did we miss a hurricane at A T and T Park earlier this year?
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Many were worried after last week’s shootings and violence during the Raiders-49ers game at Candlestick Park. But fortunately, aided by a large police presence, there were no serious incidents at Saturday night’s game.
On the other hand, unfortunately the S.F. Police Department had much better results than the 49ers.
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Alex Smith tonight for SF 49ers. 2 for 6 for 17 yards. 13 yards lost on sacks. Let the Andrew Luck chase begin.
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From my friend Nick Coombs, a transplanted Californian now living in Madison: “On behalf of everyone in Wisconsin… I’d like to thank the 49ers for passing on Aaron Rodgers for Alex Smith.”
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As scary as it sounds with both teams playing against opponents from Houston the SF Giants offense (2 runs in ten innings) outscored the SF 49ers offense tonight. (SF’s only points – a touchdown scored on interception.)
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Sometimes a headline enough is enough to declare another Darwin award winner. As in this one about a Hurricane Irene death – “Huge waves kill surfer in Florida.”
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Botox has now been approved to treat urinary incontinence. Wonder how? Maybe by making your face so rigid you can’t open your mouth to drink much liquid?
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A positive NBA story for a change. During the lockout, the Warriors’ Stephen Curry is finishing up his undergraduate degree at Davidson. Curry is enrolled full-time this fall and is working on his senior thesis. Many of his fellow NBA players are wondering “What’s a senior thesis?” Others just wonder, “What’s a degree?”
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And a non-positive “bus to hell” thought from T.C. “Former Washington Wizards player, Javaris Crittenton, who made headlines last year by bringing in a gun into a locker room, has been charged with murder. The woman he allegedly gunned down on an Atlanta street was not even his intended target.
His shooting percentage on the street isn’t any better than it was with the Wizards.”
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: hurricane jokes, irene jokes, Janice Hough, San Francisco 49ers jokes, SF Giants jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
August 24, 2011
Magnitude 5.8 earthquake shakes Virginia, D.C. and New York. Maybe God is trying to knock some sense into Congress and Wall Street…
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Arizona Diamondbacks are in D.C. this week to play the Nationals. Does that mean we can call them “rattled-snakes?”
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The earthquake felt from DC to NY to Boston was originally announced as a 5.9. Out in California, sports fans have heard the quake may not have hit that hard, it’s just that usual East Coast bias.
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After today’s big quake can we have at least a 30 day moratorium on East Coasters referring to West Coasters as wimps?
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Fortunately, there were no airport closures due to the earthquake. There were, however, several air traffic controllers jostled awake from their naps.
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One of my clients has a Washington, D.C. office and a Menlo Park office. A Washington employee today sent an email to his colleagues in California titled “Five reasons I’m glad I work in D.C. instead of Menlo Park.” Upon opening the email the message was “Make that four.”
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FEMA just announced there is a significant possibility of an earthquake hitting the Washington D.C. area in this decade.
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Jerry Leiber of the songwriting duo Leiber and Stoller passed away Monday. The two wrote, amongst other songs, “Hound Dog” and “Jailhouse Rock.” Not, however, as would be appropriate with today’s quake “All Shook Up.”
The men’s golf team from Bethany College, a small Lutheran college in Kansas, has been suspended for three tournaments. This after the young men posed for a picture (posted on Facebook) naked except for strategically placed drivers. Let us all pray this idea never occurs to John Daly.
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Tacky time: The Washington Monument will be closed to visitors indefinitely after a post-quake crack was discovered in its tip. This could be the biggest problem with an erection in D.C. since Clinton was in office.
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PETA’s latest tactic is a pornographic website to promote veganism. The website will start with erotic teasers on a sex-with-vegetables theme and then show graphic images of animal suffering. I can see husbands now “Honest, honey, I’m just looking at the site to help baby animals.”
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Northwestern University researchers have found evidence that at least some men who identify themselves as bisexual are, in fact, (duh) sexually aroused by both women and men. Michele and Marcus Bachmann, however, heard this and stated that they believe “buy-sexual” just means men going to prostitutes.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Bachmann jokes, D.C. Earthquake jokes, earthquake jokes, Janice Hough, PETA jokes
Comments: 8 Comments
August 22, 2011
Joe Biden was in China trying to bolster confidence in the U.S. economy, saying on Friday – “No one has ever made money betting against America.” Well, clearly the V.P. hasn’t watched a lot of major golf or men’s tennis tournaments lately.
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Regarding God and Tim Tebow. Maybe it’s just that He loves Tim so much He doesn’t want to have him on the field getting tackled all the time.
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Sarah Palin claims now on her Facebook page that she went to the National World War I Museum in Kansas City last week, although no one at the museum apparently saw her inside.
Palin did post a picture with her daughter and niece, which a reporter said was from inside the Westin in Kansas City.
So maybe what she meant was “I could see the museum from my room.”
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You have to wonder, did Michele Bachmann consider ordering her speechwriters to get to work on something blaming President Obama for overthrowing Moammar Gadhafi.
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Good to see the rebels doing well in Libya. Let’s just hope that the difference between rebels and dictators doesn’t turn out again simply to be who’s in charge.
Kim Kardashian got married this weekend. Straight men were as likely to watch the television coverages as Rick Perry is to watch the Science channel.
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Meanwhile, on a cooler wedding note, country singer Chely Wright was also married last weekend, to her girlfriend Lauren Blitzer. (Wright only came out last year.)
To do this as a country singer and a Christian takes serious guts. Good for Chely.
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The Help,” was #1 at the box office this weekend. Wonder how many women told their husbands, “it’s okay honey, we don’t have to go, we can stay home and watch coverage of the Kardashian wedding.”
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A Brett Favre lookalike, wearing a #4 jersey, was apparently signing autographs in Green Bay last week. Though Favre’s “travel coordinator” said Brett was not in Green Bay. Many fans, however, were able to figure the deception out quickly – when the imposter made an instant decision about signing.
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Foxnews.com is critical of Obama’s taking what their writer Chris Stirewalt calls “a fantasy preppy getaway in New England, as the nation’s economy reels.” Gosh, must have missed Fox’s outraged response when W. took those fantasy cowboy getaways to his ranch.
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Mitt Romney currently has three homes, a townhouse outside of Boston, a $10 million vacation home in N.H, and a $12 million 3000 sq.ft beachfront place in San Diego. Now he wants to bulldoze the California place to build an 11,000 sq ft home, because the current place is “inadequate for their needs.” Can’t imagine how Mitt gets a reputation for being out of touch.
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And finally, okay SF Giants fans, admittedly Brandon Crawford can’t hit. But the difference between a .190 average and a .240 average is five hits out of 100 at-bats. Maybe a hit a week. Crawford’s glove takes away almost a hit a game compared to what Tejada-Cabrera let get through. So why isn’t he on the big league roster?
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Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Bachman jokes, Chely Wright wedding, Fox News jokes, Janice Hough, Kardashian wedding jokes, Michele Bachmann jokes, Palin jokes, Tim Tebow jokes
Comments: 7 Comments
August 21, 2011
Rick Perry continued with his anti-evolution remarks, telling a supporter in South Carolina on Friday – “God is how we got here.” Replied God – “Hey, don’t blame me for this.
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Saturday Night Live premieres in five weeks. Anyone besides me who can’t wait to see Kristen Wiig’s take on Michele Bachmann?
Michele Bachmann is taking some criticism for saying people are afraid “the United States is in an unstoppable decline. They see the rise of China, the rise of India, the rise of the Soviet Union and our loss militarily going forward.” Even her GOP rival Sarah Palin responded, “I disagree, the American people are strong and fear neither China, India nor the Soviet Union.”
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Bachmann dismissed her recent gaffes Saturday, saying “the media will report what the media will report.” Yeah, and they have this disturbing tendency sometimes to actually report what a candidate says.
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The NCAA may have allowed boosters to run wild at Miami and other schools. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t trying to focus on the important things.
For example, Fox Sports reports the NCAA is considering a proposal to allow schools to offer spreads such as butter, cream cheese, jelly or peanut butter on top of bagels they provide for recruits. (Currently, schools are only allowed to provide such spreads for their own student-athletes.)
What’s the motto of all this? – “Cream cheese, it’s a slippery slope?”
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Texas Gov. Rick Perry has stated he believes in term limits for federal judges, including Supreme Court judges. Can we try this out with Clarence Thomas?
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President Obama continues to face criticism for his vacation. And yesterday he actually went into a book store and bought books. What a mistake. The GOP knows politicians aren’t supposed to read books, they’re only supposed to write them.
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Fox MLB Game of the Week announcers say that Cubs pitchers have only one compete game all year. Well, Chicago is traveling to A T and T Park to play the Giants later this month.
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In today’s first preseason AP top 25 college football poll, the Stanford Cardinal has been ranked #7. But local fans were disappointed to see that voters failed to also include the Cal Bears and Oakland Raiders.
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LSU quarterback Jordan Jefferson and several unidentified teammates were implicated in a fight at a Baton Rouge bar early Friday morning. So far Les Miles has received two requests for the names of those involved – one from the local media and the other from the draft scouts for the Cincinnati Bengals
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Karl Rove thinks that Sarah Palin will run for President, but that she will bypass a traditional campaign structure and finance committee. Rove added “I don’t think she thinks the rules apply to her.” Wow, what was his first clue?
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Bachmann jokes, Janice Hough, Michele Bachmann jokes, Obama vacation jokes, Palin jokes, Rick Perry jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
August 19, 2011
This could change, but now it does look like Texas A & M will not be going to the SEC. Guess the Aggies don’t pay their players’ fathers enough.
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The NFL ruled former OSU QB Terrelle Pryor can enter the supplemental draft, albeit with a five game “suspension” with whatever team drafts him. (as if a rookie QB was going to play anyway.) Well, this ought to teach other players a lesson – if you’re going to break rules, make sure you do it for a college team that draws high television bowl ratings.
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A silver lining for some in Miami – for now at least the Heat’s performance in the NBA finals isn’t the most embarrassing sports story in town.
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A tale of two hitting ineups – Tim Lincecum, with a 2.53 ERA is 11-10. C.C. Sabathia, with a 2.96 ERA is 17-7. Sigh. I just hope we never see the Freak in pinstripes.
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Anyone but me think it’s only a matter of time this year until some San Francisco Giants pitcher throws a nine inning no hitter, and ends up with a no decision?
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In the late 1990s and early 2000s, Michele Bachman travelled around Minnesota as as an education activist using the title “Dr. Michele Bachmann,” even though she has never obtained a PhD. But, responded her campaign, Michele did stay at a Holiday Inn Express once.
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A self-proclaimed jihadist has threatened David Letterman after the late-night comedian joked about the death of a Al-Qaeda leader. But no one has threatened Jay Leno despite similar jokes. Meaning that not even jihadists watch the Tonight Show anymore?
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Sarah Palin says she thinks Barack Obama will have to leave his family vacation early to deal with the economy. But really, isn’t leaving early Palin’s solution to everything?
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Michele Bachmann’s no comment “quote of the day.”
What people recognize is that there’s a fear that the United States is in an unstoppable decline. They see the rise of China, the rise of India, the rise of the Soviet Union….”
(To be fair, apparently this quote was from a very right-wing radio talk show, so maybe her listeners ARE still worried about the Soviet Union.)
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So let me get this straight. After running for Senate, Christine O’Donnell wrote a book “Troublemaker,” that she “hopes will be an inspirational tool for the grassroots conservative movement.” But when asked about issues from the book, O’Donnell walked out of a CNN interview with Piers Morgan, saying “I’m not talking about politics, I’m not running for office.”
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Bachmann jokes, Janice Hough, NCAA football jokes, NCAA jokes
Comments: 6 Comments
August 17, 2011
TLC is cancelling “Kate plus 8.” Guess the show’s title got too close to describing the remaining number of viewers.
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The San Francisco Giants injury list continues to grow. Not to say they are a team that might have been relying too heavily on aging veterans, but the only good news today was that some of the medical bills may be covered by Medicare.
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Meanwhile, across the pond, apparently new evidence has surfaced that Rupert Murdoch’s son James lied about not having seen emails regarding the phone hacking scandal. Who does James think he is? A U.S. college football coach?
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The University of Miami football booster scandal may end up being the biggest so far of this century. (No joke, over 70 athletes involved, for now.) And in the “you cannot make this ‘stuff’ up dept, former Miami AD Paul Dee, who was in charge during the period of allegations, was the NCAA Committee on Infractions chairman who banned USC for two years over the Reggie Bush and O.J Mayo cases.
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The latest contender for the Washington QB job is John Beck (who?); Beck will apparently start Friday and get a chance to compete with Rex Grossman. Good thing President Obama only has to try to fix the economy to get re-elected, instead of an impossible project like fixing the Redskins.
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Self-described Elvis fan Michelle Bachmann just asked a crowd in South Carolina to wish Presley a Happy Birthday. Except that Aug 16 is not his birthday, but the day he died. (August 16, 1977, our head cashier at Farrell’s in Orlando called in sick when she heard the news.)
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Regarding Michele Bachmann’s wishing Elvis Presley a happy birthday today. If Elvis wasn’t dead the thought of his woman becoming President just killed him.
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Researchers in England have found evidence that caffeine might protect against certain skin cancers. Either that or spending all your time in Starbucks and other coffee houses means you never get out in the sunlight.
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Former Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell now says she regrets her “I’m not a witch” ad. Not sure if that’s because it cost her votes, or because the witch’s union threatened to revoke her membership.
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Alas, Molly Ivins isn’t around to cover the current state of politics in this country, but I do think the times call for reviving some of her quotes – starting with this one:
“Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention.”
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Bachmann jokes, Elvis jokes, Janice Hough, Kate plus 8, Molly Ivins quotes, NCAA football jokes, SF Giants jokes
Comments: 2 Comments
August 13, 2011
Volatile Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrano now says he is retiring. He says he wants to spend more time throwing at his family.
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In Iowa, Saturday is the Ames Straw Poll for GOP Presidential candidates. Not really sure on the point of a straw poll -maybe we can say the winner s*cks the most?
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All this fuss about the Iowa straw poll. Is it really a good idea to give that much power in picking a U.S. President to a state where a popular food is deep-fried butter?
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(Thinking back to that line in “Field of Dreams,” – “Is this heaven? No it’s Iowa.” Maybe that deep-fried butter is a way to get to heaven faster.)
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Sarah Palin said she will decide about running for President by September. Sounds reasonable. That gives her plenty of time to drop out halfway through the primaries
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The latest college football realignment rumor is that Florida State will also move to the SEC. Now, I’m not a rules expert, but wouldn’t the Seminoles need to get some approvals from parole officers first?
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Tacky, but… an 18 year old has been kicked off the U.S. Ski Team’s Development squad after he got so drunk (yeah, 18, I know) before a JetBlue flight that he ended up urinating on an 11 year old girl who was also a passenger on the flight. Talk about piss poor judgment.
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Kim Kardashian’s wedding is about one week away. Can someone explain to me why we should care?
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Pittsburgh Pirates came into SF with 10 game losing streak. Florida Marlins had 7 game losing streak. How do you spell relief? G-I-A-N-T-S H-I-T-T-I-N-G.
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Sesame Street producers say Ernie and Bert are “just friends” and there is no need for them to get married. But what of other longtime companions out there? Like Rocky and Bullwinkle….
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So this weekend at the PGA championship will be Tiger-less. For television executives it will go down in recent history as the “cruelest cut.”
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From T.C. that TW logo on Tiger’s hat now equals Train Wreck
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Ah, the generosity of corporations. The price of oil is dropping. So how is Delta Airlines reacting? By announcing a $100 international surcharge on tickets purchased after August 15.
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Here we go again, another Texas Governor running for President. What is that line about “Those who cannot remember the past….?”
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Of course, I’m biased, the only Texas Governor I would have voted for for President was Ann Richards.
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News reports are saying that Michele Bachmann and Tim Pawlenty got into a spirited exchange in the Iowa debate. Surprised Minnesotans think this is the first time they’ve seen “Pawlenty’ and “spirited” in the same sentence.
Lastly, an open note to readers, you are welcome to quote anything I write IF you give attribution – leftcoastsportsbabe.com – or just janice hough. But no fun at all to see verbatim quotes – on Fark.com – for example, as someone else’s work. Not cool either.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Iowa jokes, Janice Hough, Pawlenty jokes, straw poll jokes, Tiger Woods jokes, Zambrano jokes
Comments: 6 Comments
August 10, 2011
Sarah Palin welcomed her second grandchild, a healthy little girl, born to son Track and wife Britta. Who were married May 21. It’s amazing the advances medicine has made in dealing with very premature babies.
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Actually, preemies appear to run in the family, as Track himself was born April 20, 1989, and Sarah and Todd eloped August 29, 1988.
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An Arizona man is recovering after police say he accidentally shot himself in the penis while putting his girlfriend’s gun in the waistband of his pants. Wow. Who would a thunk that Plaxico Burress might have dodged a bullet?
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The NY Daily News is reporting that MLB officials will soon meet with with Alex Rodriguez regarding his alleged involvement in high-stakes poker games. I’m not sure A-Rod gets it; apparently when the Yankees star was told he really needs to avoid bad situations and focus on baseball, he replied “Absolutely, I’m all in.”
Recently released records show former OSU football coach Jim Tressel made $21.7 million in 10 years as Buckeye coach, including $4.6 million directly from an exclusive deal the university had with Nike. Gosh, can’t imagine how those players ended up with the idea of selling memorabilia.
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I make no claims to understand the stock markets. But with all these GOP candidates blaming the markets big drop Monday on Obama, wonder why I haven’t heard a single one of them say his speech yesterday might have had something to do with Tuesday’s 420 point gain.
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Los Angeles businessman Alex Meruelo is going to buy the Atlanta Hawks, during the NBA lockout. Since he’s from Southern California, some wonder why he didn’t try to buy the Clippers. Responded Meruelo – I may be crazy, but not THAT crazy.
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Michele Bachmann’s latest promise – “I guarantee you the EPA (U.S. Environmental Protection Agency) will have doors locked and lights turned off.” Well, yeah, the EPA was proposed and signed into law by that noted liberal whacko President Richard Nixon.
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The winner of a video contest will get a chance to bat against Giants’ ace Tim Lincecum in spring training. The at-bat will be delayed until then because San Francisco doesn’t want the winner to embarrass the team’s other hitters.
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The San Francisco Giants scored a run in the fourth inning and the Pirates pitching coach comes out to the mound. Clearly this unusual event was cause for concern…
And when the team scored three runs in the eighth (two unearned), you had to wonder if the scoreboard operator remembered how to put a crooked number in the Giants column.
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From T.C. “All these riots and looting in London England – wtf are the Canucks fans doing there in the middle of the off season???
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: A-Rod jokes, A-Rod poker jokes, Janice Hough, Palin grandmother jokes, Sarah Palin jokes, SF Giants jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
August 6, 2011
The U.S economy still sputters and our credit rating gets dropped to AA+. So when will all those in Congress who want to tie teacher pay to performance agree to make the same deal with their own salaries and results?
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The Senate passed a stop-gap bill to put furloughed FAA employees back to work. No word yet on if the bill includes funding for milk and cookies for controllers at naptime.
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Ohio State football players have been told to stop wearing wristbands saying “J.T.” in support of fired coach Jim Tressel. But really, the players’ regret at losing him is understandable. Many of them have had to take serious salary cuts.
So how weirdly 21st century is this real television ad? – “Fiber One 90 calorie brownies – In the granola bar aisle.”
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Listening to baseball commentators say about an umpire, “he’s got a good strike zone.” Well, I get what they mean, I think, but isn’t the rule book, not the umpire, supposed to determine the strike zone? (Yeah, we can dream, anyway.)
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From Bill Littlejohn: Baseball has sent a warning to its major and minor league players concerning steroid alternatives—-stop ingesting deer antler spray.Bud Selig reportedly said, ‘The Buck Stops Here'”
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Standard and Poor’s downgraded the U.S. credit rating from AAA to AA tonight. In related news, the IRS said that their announced plan to increase audits of ratings analysts was just a concidence.
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A-Rod is not talking about allegations that he was involved in illegal poker games. When will these guys learn? If you really want to do some high-stakes gambling, invest in the stock market.
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With the FAA funding mess, Donna Brazile accused House Republicans of “playing chicken with American jobs.” Not true replied the GOP. We’re only playing chicken with Obama’s job. The rest are just collateral damage.
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MLB sources are indicating A-Rod will not be suspended, despite the allegations of illegal poker games, along with continuing talk about his association with a Canadian doctor known to have prescribed HGH. Proving once again – the Yankees are basically MLB’s version of an SEC football team
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Shame that Eli Whiteside might get suspended for his part in tonight’s Giants-Phillies brawl. Best hitting game the Giants catcher has had all season.
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Trivial rant: Open up most packaged food and the contents fill up about 2/3 of the packaging. The only container that is filled to the absolute brim – microwaveable soups. (Not that anything could go wrong with a full plastic container of boiling liquid.)
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Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: baseball jokes, Congress jokes, FAA jokes, Janice Hough, Ohio State jokes
Comments: 8 Comments
August 3, 2011
Congressional Black Caucus chair Emanuel Cleaver called the final debt ceiling deal a “sugar-coated Satan sandwich.”
Really? Doesn’t that title already belong to the Krispy Kreme Bacon Cheeseburger? (Yes, it is a burger using doughnuts as buns.)
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The San Francisco Giants have now lost five straight – Tuesday night 6 to 1- and haven’t scored four runs in over a week.
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Showtime is doing a series on the team called the Franchise.
Wonder how long it will take someone to do a movie on the Giants’ lineup? It will be a remake of “Eight Men Out.”
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(Or maybe “Eight Men Out” is the Jeopardy answer to the question. What usually happens when the Giants position players each have a turn at bat with runners in scoring position?)
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The San Francisco Giants seem to have accomplished the impossible. Take a weak hitting team, add two .300 hitters(Beltran and Keppinger), and start hitting…worse?
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Barry Zito is now back on the Disabled List for the San Francisco Giants. “Disabled?” Actually the NFL has a better list title for players in his condition: “Physically Unable to Perform.”
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Any truth to the rumors that as Congress left town they let out a collective cry of “Winning?!”
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Congress went right from the debt bill to summer recess. Without addressing the FAA issue which has resulted in domestic air taxes (and thus funding for air travel projects) lapsing. United Airlines celebrated today by raising international airfares $40.00. You’d think if Congress really wanted higher approval ratings they would get together on re-regulating the airlines.
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Meanwhile, Colorado Rep. Doug Lamborn apologized for calling President Obama a “tar baby.” and said he “absolutely intended no offense.” Really? With the term “tar baby?” This settles it. Lamborn is either a liar or an idiot.
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A New Jersey politician (who at least has been separated from his wife for two years) is under fire since nude pictures he sent to a woman he was flirting with online showed up on the internet. I think I can speak for all Americans in saying, “Thank heaven it wasn’t Chris Christie.”
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Rumor has it that both Kelsey Grammer and Alec Baldwin are both considering future runs for Mayor of New York City. Guess the strategy is, get your scandals out there BEFORE running for office.
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from Gary Morton:
After signing legislation to raise the debt ceiling, the President saw the stock market plunge 266 points. Guess they should have been working on the debt basement.
Categories: baseball jokes, political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: baseball jokes, Congress jokes, debt ceiling jokes, Giants jokes, Janice Hough, political jokes, San Francisco Giants jokes
Comments: 6 Comments
July 29, 2011
Ann Coulter said on the Joy Behar show that some gay people can indeed ‘pray away the gay.’ The response from the gay community -if that were true we could “pray away” Ann Coulter.
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Sarah Palin urged House Republican freshmen today to stick to their principles when it comes to raising the debt limit. Well, at least until half way through the vote.
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Do we need any more proof that this recession isn’t hurting the rich? Whole Foods just announced a 35 percent jump in their fiscal third quarter profit.
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President Obama is having a tough time getting any sort of bipartisan agreement these days. Shame he can’t promise that if we get a deal on the debt ceiling he would get rid of Dan Snyder.
(for the uninitiated, Snyder is the owner of the Washington Redskins, and one of the few men in D.C. equally hated by both sides.)
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John McCain yesterday quoted a Wall Street Journal article in referring to those who don’t want to raise the debt-ceiling as “Tea Party Hobbits.” Prompting calls for an immediate apology – from Hobbits.
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But really, John McCain as the voice of reason? Either he’s remembered the Senator he used to be, or he’s forgotten those years he was running for President. (Or he’s starting to listen to Meghan.)
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The San Diego Padres and Petco set a Guinness World Record during their annual “Dog Days of Summer” day: The most dogs in a pet costume parade – 337 to be exact. (Pretty safe bet this is not a record that will ever be topped by cats.)
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The Tennessee Titans have released Vince Young, their first pick (#3 overall in the the 2006 draft.) So as unbelievable as it seems, yes, folks, Alex Smith with the 49ers has outlasted him.
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And at a early practice Thursday, Michael Crabtree injured his foot and may be out 4-6 weeks. On a brighter note, the 49ers’ chances to win the Andrew Luck lottery just went up another notch.
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Amy Winehouse’s family thinks she died of “alcohol withdrawal,” basically from because they say she stopped drinking cold-turkey. Whether it’s true or not, hope no one shows this story to Lindsay Lohan.
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In a recent study of possible compulsive behavior, subjects checked their smartphones an average of 34 times a day. One word – “Amateurs.”
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Last week Texas Gov. Rick Perry was asked about NY’s new same-sex marriage law. He replied “That’s New York, and that’s their business, and that’s fine with me.” Today he said “it’s fine with me that a state is using their sovereign rights to decide an issue. Obviously gay marriage is not fine with me. My stance hasn’t changed.” Sounds like it’s not just good hair that Rick has in common with John Kerry.
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So the standard GOP line is that tax cuts for the rich will be good for all Americans. So let’s see, for a semi-test case, this week the federal aviation tax has expired, meaning in theory a 7.5 percent cut in the cost of airline tickets. And what have most airlines done? Raised fares 7.5 percent to make up for the tax cut.
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A couple thoughts to end from T.C.
Regarding that 19 inning game ending at 1:50am. The Pirates that got hosed by the blown call at home plate. If it was the Yankees, MLB would have a new replay policy in effect, retroactive to 1:45am.
Likely (sick) headline coming soon? “Mike Vick to unleash Favre as backup”
Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: 49ers jokes, Ann Coulter jokes, debt ceiling jokes, Janice Hough, Palin jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
July 27, 2011
Do you know where your debt ceiling is?
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Okay, let’s borrow from reality television and solve this debt ceiling thing in about one night. Lock Nancy Pelosi, John Boehner, Harry Reid and Mitch McConnell in a “fantasy suite” together and don’t let them out until they have a deal.
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President Obama referred to the fight over the debt ceiling as a “partisan three-ring circus.” Prompting calls for an immediate apology, from Ringling Brothers.
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In California, controller John Chiang stopped paying lawmakers when they couldn’t agree on a budget. Maybe we should have sent him to Washington, D.C. Monday along with the San Francisco Giants.
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Baseball stat of the night. Jered Weaver of the Angels has more wins in July (five), than the Seattle Mariners (four.)
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Apparently the New York Giants are considering resigning their former wide receiver Plaxico Burress. When asked, Giants management said they decided they might as well take a shot at it.
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New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft, on the end of the lockout. “”I hope we gave a little lesson to the people in Washington because the debt ceiling is a lot easier to fix than this was.” Well, that ought to put rest to the rumor that NFL owners are a bunch of self-absorbed narcissistic jerks.
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Bengals owner Mike Brown insisted on Tuesday that he won’t trade quarterback Carson Palmer, who said he would retire rather than play again for Cincinnati. So in terms that Bengals fans understand, Brown considers Palmer’s contract “non-bailable.”
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A man at New Orleans’ airport injured a United ticket agent when he accidentally fired his hunting rifle while trying to check the gun with his baggage. Well, good to see Dick Cheney’s getting out and around again.
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Phillies fans are apparently planning to jeer Bruce Bochy for all three games the Giants are in San Francisco, because they are mad that he used their star pitchers in the All-Star game. (Really.) But to be fair to the fans, this is a tough time of year in Philadelphia, it’s at least four months until they can boo Santa Claus.
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Tuesday night the Seattle Mariners and Doug Fister (3-11) took their 16 game losing streak against the New York Yankees and C.C. Sabathia. (14-5) I think the Christians had a better chance against the Lions.
Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: debt ceiling jokes, Janice Hough, Mariners jokes, NFL jokes, Robert Kraft jokes
Comments: 3 Comments
July 25, 2011
Apparently Niagara Falls was lit up with rainbow colors today, for all the marriages.
But meanwhile, in New York City, the first couple married under the state’s new same-sex marriage laws were Phyllis Siegal, 77, and Connie Kopelov, 85, two women who have been together for 23 years. So can any conservative say with a straight face how that ceremony threatens any heterosexual marriage?
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So let’s see, the GOP wants to reduce unwanted pregnancies and abortions, and also cut the number of familes with children on welfare. Hmm…maybe the best way to do this is to encourage poor people to enter into gay marriages.
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Jay Cutler has called off his engagement to Kristin Cavallari. Apparently blindsiding his ex-fiancee, but not Bears fans. Who already that knew that you couldn’t count on Cutler to go all the way when it mattered.
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The latest rumor is that as a backup to Michael Vick, the Philadelphia Eagles might sign Brett Favre? Is this the only way Favre can assure that for at least some fans he’ll won’t be the number one target of boos on the field?
(And of course the same might be said for Michael Vick approving Favre as his backup.)
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If you crossed Brett Favre with Sarah Palin would you end up with someone who actually knew when to quit?
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Qatarian Mohamed bin Hammam vowed to overturn his bribery conviction and lifetime ban from soccer on Sunday. He said he will go to the FIFA appeals court, or to CAS (Court of Arbiration for Sport) or even the civil courts in Switzerland. Just as soon as he figures out which of those will overturn his conviction for the lowest price.
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Knuckleballer Tim Wakefield Sunday joined Roger Clemens as the only pitchers to strike out 2,000 batters with Boston. Very impressive. And can you imagine if Wakefield had only taken steroids? His fastball might have broken 70.
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Sunday night in the San Francisco Bay Area there were competing concerts between the Indigo Girls and Dolly Parton. Fans were divided over which is the best duet.
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Glee co-creator Ryan Murphy had said that Rachel, Kurt and Finn would graduate at the end of season three. But apparently at Comic-con this weekend in San Diego, the series’ other co-creator Brad Fulchuk said stars Lea Michele, Chris Colfer, and Cory Monteith will return for season 4.
Which means one of two things. Either the three will indeed graduate, and come back as visitors from their colleges, or the writers will figure out ways to turn them into honorary football players.
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Quote of the day – but from a facebook friend, but from a Thomas Love Peacock, friend of the 19th century poet Percy Shelley: “There are two reasons for drinking wine…when you are thirsty, to cure it; the other, when you are not thirsty, to prevent it… prevention is better than cure.”
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And shocking quote of the week on an Irish report on clerical sex child sex abuse: -it exposed “the dysfunction, disconnection, elitism and narcissism that dominate the culture of the Vatican to this day. The rape and torture of children were downplayed or ‘managed’ to uphold instead, the primacy of the institution, its power, standing and ‘reputation.'” The real shocker- the quote is from Irish PM Enda Kinney.
Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: dolly parton jokes, gay marriage jokes, Janice Hough, Jay Cutler jokes
Comments: 1 Comment
July 23, 2011
Bail was set at $1 million for the Southern California woman who allegedly took a knife to her husband’s penis and put it down the garbage disposal.
Guess they were afraid she was likely to cut and run.
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Need a diet aid? Just read up about the relationship between “Lost” actor Doug Hutchison, 51, and his 16-year-old wife Courtney Stodden. The couple, who married in May, gave an intimate interview to “E” news.
“I’ve got to say, if there’s only one caveat to the ocean between our [ages], I wished I was a virgin when we met,”
“It’s fine that he wasn’t!” she exclaimed. “He’s a tiger!”
Even Hugh Hefner is thinking “That’s just gross.”
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Two famous stars on the Tonight Show Friday night – Dolly Parton was Jay’s guest.
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With all these back and forth accusations of lying and not dealing in good faith, I’m getting confused. Does Congress have something to do with the lockout and the NFL with the debt ceiling?
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Wonder what would happen if God actually whispered in the ear of one of these Tea Party types “Any of you read the Bible? Jesus would tax the rich.”
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Best wishes to Christopher Schwarzengger, 13, who is fortunately expected to make a full recovery from his injuries. But the AP has it a little wrong with the lead sentence: “Arnold Schwarzenegger’s youngest son is recovering in a hospital after a body-boarding accident at a Malibu beach.”
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And they wonder why U.S. airlines have such a bad reputation – Continental’s phone response today “Your call will be answered between one hour and two minutes and one hour and twenty minutes from now.”
Of course, it does beat (barely) the “Due to a high volume of calls, we are unable to take your call at this time.” With a hangup and then busy signal.
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Bristol Palin is continuing her book tour, and Thursday night on Dr. Drew said she was “stupid” to lie to her mother about the spring night in 2006 she lost her virginity to Levi Johnson. Okay, fine, and she was somehow on a higher plain the next couple years, since Tripp was born in late December 2008?
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New York 17, Oakland 7. Uh, I know I’ve heard talk of a deal. But how did I miss the start of the NFL preseason?
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From Zev Karlin-Neumann: “It’s supposed to be 100+ degrees and stormy in DC Saturday. I say hold the debt ceiling talks outside until there’s a deal…”
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A judge has rejected the Los Angeles Dodgers’ proposed $150 million bankruptcy financing plan. Guess he figured the plan was as likely to succeed as their team on the field this season.
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On an actual serious note, I don’t agree with everything President Obama does. But amazed by the vitriol from some Democrats. Guess they thought when Barack was talking about compromise across the aisle and “no blue states and no red states” that he was just kidding?
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What if all these candidates like Perry and Bachmann really are hearing God’s voice telling them to run? Does this mean God is a frustrated stand-up comic? (Or as Paul Seaburn says, “No, just a comedy writer looking for four more years of material.”)
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Mitt Romney has Meg Whitman as finance director for his 2012 Presidential run. Because nothing says you can make responsible decisions about our nation’s economy like hiring someone who spent $150 million on her own failed campaign.”
Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Dodgers jokes, Janice Hough, NFL jokes, Tea Party jokes
Comments: 5 Comments
July 20, 2011
“The buck stops anywhere but here” award today goes to Rupert Murdoch. Asked by a member of a parliamentary committtee “Do you accept that ultimately you are responsible for this whole fiasco?” Murdoch simply responded: “No.”
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Potentially scary questions about Murdoch media enterprises in the U.S. Do they have higher ethical standards than their compatriots in the U.K? Or have they just not been caught yet?
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A Northern California man who started a fire by smoking meth with a blowtorch near a container of gunpowder has been sentenced to 45 days in jail. Although he missed out on the prize he richly deserved – a Darwin award.
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The latest Michele Bachmann headlines are about her possibly incapacitating migraines. And Bachmann has responded “I have prescribed medication that I take whenever symptoms arise and they keep the migraines under control.” Just one more addition to the list of those who benefit from good healthcare, and still want to deny it to many Americans.
Adds Alex Schubert: “Considering her public speaking ability, she should share some of her migraine medication.”
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Michael Vick is now working with three members of congressmen to support an anti-dogfighting bill. Well, it’s no stranger (and will do a lot more good) than many divorced and/or unfaithful politicians supporting the Defense of Marriage Act.
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The Federal Aviation Administration is investigating a Colorado air traffic controller for allegedly working while intoxicated. In the controller’s defense, he said he was studying for his pilot’s license.
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Delta Airlines has indicated plans to pull out of 15 small towns if they don’t get increased federal subsidies. Six of those cities are in Minnesota, and Delta is the only carrier serving them. Will someone please ask Michele Bachmann and Tim Pawlenty to confirm their anti-goverment spending stance on this one?
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Seattle Mariners fans were shocked tonight when their team, who would have to go on a offensive tear to make it up to “light-hitting,” actually scored five runs in the first two innings.
Then reality set in and the Mariners didn’t score again and lost 6-5 in 14 innings.
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And okay creative readers, who wants to guess what Brian Wilson will wear next week for the San Francisco Giants’ visit to the White House?
Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Bachmann jokes, Janice Hough, Murdoch jokes, SEC jokes
Comments: 4 Comments
July 18, 2011
The 405 is open again, and Los Angeles seems to have survived the weekend just fine. Wonder now if they will now start referring to it as Y2Karmageddon.
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After all the worry and talk of Carmaggedon, the work was completed Sunday morning, and the 405 freeway reopened almost a full day ahead of schedule. Since project director Mike Barbour has proved so adept dealing with a potentially disastrous situation, maybe Los Angeles should put him in charge of the Dodgers.
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Cincinnati running back Cedric Benson was arrested and charged with assault early Sunday morning, a week after Pacman Jones was arrested for a bar incident. Well, the lockout might not be over yet, but good to see that the Bengals are in mid-season form.
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Okay, I’m still not getting this idea of a documentary about Sarah Palin. To quote the Wikipedia description “Documentary films constitute a broad category of nonfictional motion pictures intended to document some aspect of reality.”
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Congratulations to Japan on their World Cup win. Wonder which GOP Presidential candidate will be the first to claim it’s President Obama’s fault.
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Even many bandwagon soccer fans were heartbroken by the USA penalty-kick loss. Some of them will even think about it before the next Olympics
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As much as most of the world cares about the women’s World Cup, the USA team still isn’t universally appreciated at home. In fact, when asked what they thought about Hope Solo, many Americans responded was “Wasn’t she in Star Wars?”
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Texas Governor Rick Perry, who insists he doesn’t want to enter the GOP Presidential primary, nonetheless said in an interview he’s “getting more and more comfortable every day that this is what I’ve been called to do.”
All these folks claiming God is calling or may call them to run for President. Is it possible that even God can dial a wrong number?
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Rudy Giuliani today on CNN about gay marriage. “I think the Republican Party would be well advised to get the heck out of people’s bedrooms. We’d be a much more successful political party if we stuck to our economic, conservative roots.” What’s more surprising, a GOP leader making a moderate statement, or the fact that Guiliani strung two sentences together without mentioning 9/11?
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from Marc Ragovin: After accusing the Blue Jays of stealing signs, the Yankees said they would respond in an appropriate manner. Yeah, by waiting til the off season and stealing their players
Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Carmaggedon jokes, Janice Hough, Palin jokes, World Cup jokes
Comments: 8 Comments
July 15, 2011
The latest, Georgia Tech was put on four years probation by the NCAA. The school was also fined $100,000 and stripped of it’s 2009 ACC football title game victory.
So which BCS committee is going for the honest approach first, and renaming their game “The Asterisk Bowl”?
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While a number of athletes were in attendance at last night’s ESPY awards, none of the Miami Heat showed up. It was just like a NBA finals fourth quarter.
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One good thing about “What me worry” useless MLB commissioner Bud Selig, he’s pretty hands-off as far as hijinks. If Brian Wilson was subject to the authority of No Fun League commission Roger Goddell, he’d need to set up a line of credit for the fines.
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Another thought about Brian Wilson’s spandex formal wear at the ESPYs. Thank God he didn’t convince Prince Fielder or C.C. Sabathia to come with him wearing the same outfit.
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The judge who declared the mistrial in the Roger Clemens case felt he had no choice as prosecutors had disobeyed his instructions about inadmissible evidence for a second time. Amazing incompetence. Were these clowns doing this in hopes of getting jobs some day prosecuting celebrities in Los Angeles?
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From Marc Ragovin: I’m not saying that the prosecutor in the Clemens case purposefully took a dive, but Roger was just credited with his first intentional walk.
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The scandal involving Murdoch newspapers and illegal eavesdropping etc just keeps growing. Apparently one of them tried to infiltrate John McCain’s presidential campaign communications. But no one could decipher the smoke signals.
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Sarah Palin on the debt ceiling issue – “it’s the time to reload and we reload with reality.” This could be the first time “Sarah Palin” and “reality” have appeared in the same sentence.
(Although on another subject, clearly that criticism after the Tucson shooting of Palin’s using the crosshairs imagery with her opponents didn’t bother her too much.)
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Norwegian Cruise Line is now offering pizza delivery 24/7 on their ships, for an extra charge of $5 per pizza. Apparently for all those people who can’t make it on twelve meals a day.
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Netflix, owner of one the most popular brands in the U.S., decided in a down economy to raise their prices 60 percent. This could go down in history as the smartest marketing decision since “New Coke.”
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The scandal involving Murdoch newspapers and illegal eavesdropping etc just keeps growing. Apparently one of them tried to infiltrate John McCain’s presidential campaign communications. But no one could decipher the smoke signals.
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Some are saying that Tim Pawlenty’s refusal to sign the anti-gay, anti-porn, anti-choice “Family Leader” pledge may doom him in Iowa. Since when did being intolerant to the point of “bat sh*t crazy” become a requirement for potential GOP Presidential candidates?
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And this is just tacky, but what the heck.
Brian Wilson was a major hit at the ESPY awards. Most Americans haven’t seen such an impressive beard since Katie Holmes.
Categories: political jokes, sports jokes, Uncategorized
Tags: Brian Wilson jokes, Clemens trial jokes, Janice Hough, Palin jokes, Roger Clemens jokes
Comments: 4 Comments
Left Coast Sports Babe 