Posted tagged ‘Palin grandmother jokes’

Grandmother of our Country?

August 10, 2011

Sarah Palin welcomed her second grandchild, a healthy little girl, born to son Track and wife Britta. Who were married May 21. It’s amazing the advances medicine has made in dealing with very premature babies.

Actually, preemies appear to run in the family, as Track himself was born April 20, 1989, and Sarah and Todd eloped August 29, 1988.

An Arizona man is recovering after police say he accidentally shot himself in the penis while putting his girlfriend’s gun in the waistband of his pants. Wow. Who would a thunk that Plaxico Burress might have dodged a bullet?

The NY Daily News is reporting that MLB officials will soon meet with with Alex Rodriguez regarding his alleged involvement in high-stakes poker games. I’m not sure A-Rod gets it; apparently when the Yankees star was told he really needs to avoid bad situations and focus on baseball, he replied “Absolutely, I’m all in.”

Recently released records show former OSU football coach Jim Tressel made $21.7 million in 10 years as Buckeye coach, including $4.6 million directly from an exclusive deal the university had with Nike. Gosh, can’t imagine how those players ended up with the idea of selling memorabilia.

I make no claims to understand the stock markets. But with all these GOP candidates blaming the markets big drop Monday on Obama, wonder why I haven’t heard a single one of them say his speech yesterday might have had something to do with Tuesday’s 420 point gain.

Los Angeles businessman Alex Meruelo is going to buy the Atlanta Hawks, during the NBA lockout. Since he’s from Southern California, some wonder why he didn’t try to buy the Clippers. Responded Meruelo – I may be crazy, but not THAT crazy.

Michele Bachmann’s latest promise – “I guarantee you the EPA (U.S. Environmental Protection Agency) will have doors locked and lights turned off.” Well, yeah, the EPA was proposed and signed into law by that noted liberal whacko President Richard Nixon.

The winner of a video contest will get a chance to bat against Giants’ ace Tim Lincecum in spring training. The at-bat will be delayed until then because San Francisco doesn’t want the winner to embarrass the team’s other hitters.

The San Francisco Giants scored a run in the fourth inning and the Pirates pitching coach comes out to the mound. Clearly this unusual event was cause for concern…

And when the team scored three runs in the eighth (two unearned), you had to wonder if the scoreboard operator remembered how to put a crooked number in the Giants column.

From T.C. “All these riots and looting in London England – wtf are the Canucks fans doing there in the middle of the off season???